S03.E12: King Of My Heart

[Baltimore Betty]

7 hours ago, OrchidThief said:

I think they are running a marriage mill. I bet Ben is at least the 10th stupid broke American they could squeeze $500 out of -- who, now broke and hopeless, can't buy a plane ticket to return and "claim his bride." This really has to be the scam, right? She's such a dreadful actress.

You know it!

I think Bikini was in a panic when Ben said he wanted to think about paying the bride price because it meant they were married in a sense and he was not sure.  She seemed to be a little fearful that she would not produce for her family.  

The cake feeding was just so bizarre.  

[Neurochick]

2 minutes ago, Hannah94 said:

I've seen comments about Love Me on here. Is that a movie or a series? I found a movie with that title but not sure if it is fiction or a docudrama type show. 

It's a documentary on Amazon.  I watched it yesterday, very interesting.  Cesar reminded me of many of those guys.

[blubld43]

2 minutes ago, Silver Bells said:

Yeah, and she will be locked up in her house with no money and no credit card and for his convenience.  That baby face of his doesn’t fool me.

This is what I see happening. I'm not at all concerned about Ben getting ripped off, I'm dreading what Akinyi's life here will be as his wife. He wanted a sex object for his specific desires, damn the consequences.  He's gross.

[Hangin Out]

4 minutes ago, Cementhead said:

When Zied was trying to process what Rebecca just told him, "Married?"  did anyone else besides me think of this?

I watch 16 Candles every time it’s on, like every week.  The Grandparents are so authentic.  Haha.  Like mine.

[Hannah94]

2 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

It's a documentary on Amazon.  I watched it yesterday, very interesting.  Cesar reminded me of many of those guys.

Thanks, I think I may have found it. I just started watching. It looks like a bunch of small town country boys that are talking about meeting women from Ukraine. Is this the right one? Because my search for Love Me brought up several results.

[OldButHappy]

7 hours ago, mamadrama said:

Basically Avery, Laura, and Ben just paid for the most expensive booty calls ever.

Ben got the never-ending layaway plan 😉

[Neurochick]

4 minutes ago, Hannah94 said:

Thanks, I think I may have found it. I just started watching. It looks like a bunch of small town country boys that are talking about meeting women from Ukraine. Is this the right one? Because my search for Love Me brought up several results.

Here is the description:

Love Me follows Western men and Ukrainian women as they embark on an unpredictable and riveting journey in search of love through the modern "mail-order bride" industry.

[Hangin Out]

11 minutes ago, Baltimore Betty said:

You know it!

I think Bikini was in a panic when Ben said he wanted to think about paying the bride price because it meant they were married in a sense and he was not sure.  She seemed to be a little fearful that she would not produce for her family.  

The cake feeding was just so bizarre.  

She walks around with no pep, like she needs a B-12 shot.  That cake was so fancy, like it was made in the U.S.A.  Probably was from Production.

[Bryce Lynch]

The key that Tom gave Darcey, look more like the key to his liquor cabinet, which Darcey might appreciate more than the one to his front door.  

[Hannah94]

5 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

Here is the description:

Love Me follows Western men and Ukrainian women as they embark on an unpredictable and riveting journey in search of love through the modern "mail-order bride" industry.

Great balls of fire, ten minutes in and already these men are total doofus morons....

[Spike]

33 minutes ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Since he never took her to his home how would she "feel free to come and go" when ever she wants and not too mention she would need a plane ticket to make that happen, nice gesture, Tom.

Whenever she just happens to pass through Nottingham.

It would be funny if she actually used it and triggered an alarm system.

[essexjan]

33 minutes ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Did anyone catch that sparkly fake diamond Darcey was wearing?  Was that the same one she got from Jesse?

IIRC, before she'd even met Jesse, Darcey had bought herself a fake gigantic CZ 'engagement' ring that she wore on her wedding finger. It may well be that same one.

[invisiblegirl12]

21 hours ago, DiamondGirl said:

Where would he get this mythical $2000 to send her since Mexico?  I think he’s a liar as well as stupid.

We have to remember that this show isn't filmed in real time. He could have been in Mexico in, say, February 2019 and then this scene where he's told the producer he gave her more money "since returning from Mexico" could have easily been filmed as late as June or July. That's a more feasible span of time for him to stash away money for her, and for their relationship to rekindle. 

This also applies to Avery's mom's new look - I'm guessing the span of time between her leaving Lebanon and their visiting the immigration lawyer was easily three months. 

[Bryce Lynch]

9 minutes ago, OldButHappy said:

Ben got the never-ending layaway plan 😉

They will probably charge him a 5 point per week vig, with missed payments getting added to the principal.   

[RoxiP]

22 minutes ago, Silver Bells said:

I watch 16 Candles every time it’s on, like every week.  The Grandparents are so authentic.  Haha.  Like mine.

Yes.  I must have watched this movie 25-30 times.  Favorite scene is at the church at the end when the cars all pull away and he's standing there "Me?"  "Yeah you."

I feel horrible for saying this, but Avery's entire family has a genetic tendency to have fish lips.  

Edited October 21, 2019 by RoxiP

[Valentine]

Darcey does choose men from pretty locales. I wonder which lovely European capital houses her next victim suitor. 

[humbleopinion]

8 hours ago, Callaphera said:

Darcey, after Tom came running back into the airport for a second goodbye: "He came back!" *blinks back tears, whispers emotionally* "It was beautiful."

Tom's deliberate and planned cheesy recreation of many rom-com airport teary good bye scenes.... making him look romantic...

Crybaby and Mr. Potato Head with Hair Hat know they will see each other at the Season's Tell All show...it's on the 90 Day shooting schedule....

 In the car, Tom's warns Darcey that he is calling a...

Self Declared, Crazy Busy, Radio Silence Zone of 10 Days, So Don't Bother ME Darcey Decompression Period....

Which we see on the tease that Darcey promptly ignores and pisses Tom with 50 texts and  phone calls he refuses to return...

Darcey will never learn to listen....she can't help but sabotage her own love life....

TLC really does love to torture Darcey with sharp barbed sticks called Jesse and her twin Stacey.....

[poeticlicensed]

47 minutes ago, Baltimore Betty said:

I think they are running a marriage mill. I bet Ben is at least the 10th stupid broke American they could squeeze $500 out of -- who, now broke and hopeless, can't buy a plane ticket to return and "claim his bride." This really has to be the scam, right? She's such a dreadful actress.

Yep, that's what I think. So you pay dad and you are married, no paperwork, no officiant?

If you look at this site, it explains the marriage license process in Kenya for both citizens and foreigners https://www.statelaw.go.ke/getting-married-in-kenya/

There is no instance where you are married by paying a bride price. Just like any other country, you need ID, and your marriage has to be registered. 

I suspect Akinyi has been through this many times before. 

[Normades]

7 minutes ago, poeticlicensed said:

I suspect Akinyi has been through this many times before. 

That would shed some light on Akinyi's claim that men don't turn her down.  All of her past "husbands" made sure they consummated the "marriage" after paying the bride price.  

[SevenCostanza]

1 hour ago, Hannah94 said:

I am the only one excited to see Jesse, aren't I (per the previews)?

I'm confused about why he's even there.  I'm sure he was invited by why?  He had nothing to do with this season.  Are the producers just trying to rattle Darcey some more?  That seems unnecessary. 

[DanaMB]

1 hour ago, Hannah94 said:

I am the only one excited to see Jesse, aren't I (per the previews)?

No way. I can’t wait. 

[greekmom]

1 hour ago, Hannah94 said:

Thanks, I think I may have found it. I just started watching. It looks like a bunch of small town country boys that are talking about meeting women from Ukraine. Is this the right one? Because my search for Love Me brought up several results.

That's it! 

[humbleopinion]

28 minutes ago, SevenCostanza said:

I'm confused about why he's even there.  I'm sure he was invited by why?  He had nothing to do with this season.  Are the producers just trying to rattle Darcey some more?  That seems unnecessary. 

Darcey's unhinged reactions is the 90 Day franchise bread and butter....

Jesse is a sure fire shit storm trove of emoting by our Fair Maiden Lady Darcey....

Tears, over wrought protestations of her happiness with pudgy, doughy, drool Tom...

Sure hope Darcey is wearing the key around her neck...Please show Jesse the key!

Darcey will have an epiphany that the key is just a lame symbol of non commitment ...Jesse will guffaw and scoff.

Tom must have run out of engagement rings and is now passing out keys.

Jesse looks like he works serving drink in an artisanal whiskey bar.

Jesse must be having a "fat day" wearing a vest instead of a painted on tight t shirt, guns and pecs out, flat belly top and skinny jeans.....

Jesse is a Fame Ho and must not have wormed his way onto any other TV shows in Europe.

He is willing to put on his bad boy act ...once again...

Edited October 21, 2019 by humbleopinion

[Baltimore Betty]

31 minutes ago, poeticlicensed said:

I suspect Akinyi has been through this many times before. 

Ewww, she let the hairy American do her, her parents got the money and she got nuthin'.

I guess after Ben leaves she has to go home and fire up the old computer and set her sights on another rube.

Maybe that is why she was crying when Ben left, she knows her game is not over, not by a long shot.

[Neurochick]

1 hour ago, Hannah94 said:

Great balls of fire, ten minutes in and already these men are total doofus morons....

The men in that documentary remind me of many of the Americans on this show.  They say they're looking for love but they're really looking for a fantasy, it's like falling in love with a picture.

[Cementhead]

Tom's 3-piece suit cracked me up last night.  Such a fancy pants this guy is.  All he was missing was a monocle, a cane and a pocket watch. 

[Hannah94]

25 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

The men in that documentary remind me of many of the Americans on this show.  They say they're looking for love but they're really looking for a fantasy, it's like falling in love with a picture.

I agree. And I am not against international relationships in general, but most of the people in these shows are in dumpster fire relationships.

Edited October 21, 2019 by Hannah94
grammar correction

[Bryce Lynch]

15 minutes ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Ewww, she let the hairy American do her, her parents got the money and she got nuthin'.

I guess after Ben leaves she has to go home and fire up the old computer and set her sights on another rube.

Maybe that is why she was crying when Ben left, she knows her game is not over, not by a long shot.

She did the hard part, by letting Ben into the cookie jar.  Now, she and her family can slowly bleed Ben with bride price payments, for the next year or so., until he is tapped out or realizes it is a scam.   

I think that is why they didn't give an amount.  If they said, $2,000 or $3,000 USD, they would have no excuse for not sending her to the US, once Ben sent them that amount.  With the unstated fee, the can keep saying, "Still, not enough.  Life is precious.  My daughter is worth more.  Show us respect and send more money!"   

If they named too high a price, Ben might have reluctantly walked away, realizing he could never afford it, leaving them with nothing but flour, Sunny D, oil, soap, etc.  

I was just thinking, both Father Bikini and Ben seemed to be using Michael Scott's Wikipedia Negotiating Tip #14..."Declining to speak first."  

Edited October 21, 2019 by Bryce Lynch

[A-Lo]

Darcey, Tom takes you to a beautiful old church in England with tons of history behind it and all you have to say is "It feels good, walking down the aisle with you!"???  You absolutely deserve that Harry Potter-looking key to nowhere that he presented you with in lieu of an engagement ring.

And we now officially know that there is a real, solid bathroom in Rebecca and Zied's tent so I should've been able to sleep well.  However, I just kept wondering..."How is that even a thing?  How do you construct a tent around a bathroom?  And why would you?".  Maybe I'm Darcey-level stupid, after all.

Edited October 21, 2019 by A-Lo

[lasandi]

2 hours ago, Spike said:

Step one:  pack slowly until she falls asleep at one a.m.

Step two:  repeatedly scold her the next morning for depriving you of sex after you declined it pretty much every other night.

Step three:  once again ignore the whole concept of morning sex.

Spike I loved and laughed at your post.  I couldn't choose both, so I chose laugh but I just wanted you to know that I loved it as well.  So right on point!

[HahYallDoin]

On 10/21/2019 at 6:58 AM, essexjan said:

I was fast-forwarding through Caesar's segments until ... Helllooooo Jeremy!

Or, as Caesar says...Hellllooooo Germ-eee.

Germ-eee is another plant, IMO. In no universe are Caesar and Germ-eee friends. He is in it for the small paycheck and/or tv exposure. Did you notice the long, lingering shots of him up close? When Caesar began rubbing his hands together and stepping up his energy level, when talking about Cuba, it was so obvious these two were following a script. 

Akinyi looked positively disgusted the morning after Ben raided the cookie jar 🤮 That’s the price you pay when you are a scammer. She picked that fight with Ben at dinner so she didn’t have to bake any more cookies for that sweaty, hairy, mental midget. I feel sorry for this idiot’s son. You know his ex-wife isn’t too bright because she married him and had a child with him. There is no way you can convince me he was ever ‘a catch.’ No telling what the ex is like. Is she slow and dim also?The cute boy hopefully has a higher IQ than his dad and more common sense too. 

Edited October 22, 2019 by HahYallDoin
Raided, not raisin.

[shockermolar]

5 hours ago, Kangatush said:

But over 60 seems insane.  That's a HUGE amount of cattle.  How much is his educated, older, non-virgin daughter worth?

But it was a metaphor. I know this because he stage whispered to Fidel to ask if he should be using a metaphor.  And I also thought he said bowl not bull.  In any case he said something like "if a bowl was worth 1000 shillings I would have 60 bowls." Sorry, bulls. And I feel like a bull would be worth a lot more than 1000 shillings, that's not even $10US. Which is probably why bowl makes sense to me more than bull. Look, I live in Texas. I have a vague concept of what a bull costs and $10 is nowhere near going rate. So I guess I can see why they'd be offended. :)

Edited October 21, 2019 by shockermolar
because conjunctions matter

[shockermolar]

3 hours ago, essexjan said:

I think Tom was in on it, but I think Darcey was expecting a diamond ring.

Darcy is ALWAYS expecting a diamond ring. 

[shockermolar]

2 hours ago, Hannah94 said:

I am the only one excited to see Jesse, aren't I (per the previews)?

You are NOT. I excitedly looked at my 21 year old son who expertly slid into his Jesse accent in order to mock Darcy. Is it wrong that I've indoctrinated my college student son into watching trash tv with me? Maybe. Or maybe it's our own unique bonding experience.

[essexjan]

2 hours ago, Hannah94 said:

Thanks, I think I may have found it. I just started watching. It looks like a bunch of small town country boys that are talking about meeting women from Ukraine. Is this the right one? Because my search for Love Me brought up several results.

Dammit, it's not on UK Netflix.

[suzeecat]

I'm confused.  Why didn't Akinyi come back to America with Ben?  Wasn't that the point of him going to Africa to marry her?  Was the plan all along for him to leave her behind, and if so, why?

[poeticlicensed]

1 minute ago, essexjan said:

Dammit, it's not on UK Netflix.

Love Me is available on Prime Video. 

[Dobian]

2 hours ago, Bryce Lynch said:

The key that Tom gave Darcey, look more like the key to his liquor cabinet, which Darcey might appreciate more than the one to his front door.  

Yeah or the key to an antique lock from 1800.

[shockermolar]

6 minutes ago, suzeecat said:

Why didn't Akinyi come back to America with Ben?

No visa. That's the point of the "Before the 90 Days" - theoretically everyone on the OG version has had some kind of before experience. They may have met online and gone to visit their true loves, or maybe they met them while they were on international travel. But there was some physical meeting beforehand (usually). So this is that. In order for her to come to the US she has to have that K1 visa. And in order for that to happen dimwit Ben has to actually do paperwork and such. Kind of like wailing woman Avery going to an immigration attorney who perplexedly stared at her for marrying a dude from Syria and apparently not having the faintest idea about travel bans that I would suspect even stupid teenagers would at least have HEARD about before marrying someone effected by the ban. But I digress. 

[Baltimore Betty]

3 minutes ago, Dobian said:

Yeah or the key to an antique lock from 1800.

Or TIm's chastity belt.

[invisiblegirl12]

14 minutes ago, suzeecat said:

Wasn't that the point of him going to Africa to marry her?

Ben just went to Africa to meet her family and get their blessing. Then the plan was for Bikini to come to America via the K1 process, and *then* they'd get married after the 90 days. He's just as surprised as we were that he's leaving Africa a 'married' man!

[Cherrio]

10 hours ago, OrchidThief said:

You deserve a Pulitzer. You came up with all the fabulous descriptives that eluded me!!

One more thing, his whiny voice that hurts my ears.

[Thisgirllovespasta]

What the eff was Jeniffer 'modeling'??? It reminds me sometimes of the odd clothes venus.com will have, Hit or miss...

[Bryce Lynch]

9 hours ago, mamadrama said:

I wish Angela wasn't such an abusive bully. Seeing her appreciating the festivities and getting along with Myyyycul's mom would have veen nice if we hadn't seen the rest of her personality.

I think Engagement Party Angela was, by far the most likable and least unattractive Angela I have ever seen.   

[Mrs. Hanson]

10 minutes ago, Bryce Lynch said:

I think Engagement Party Angela was, by far the most likable and least unattractive Angela I have ever seen.   

I agree.  What she was wearing was flattering and the shade of blue looked good on her.  I do want to note that had she told Mama the whole truth about her fertility, she knows Mama would not have blessed the marriage.  Wonder if Mama has seen the cake throwing, the threats to punch her son in the mouth?

[Auntie Anxiety]

So let me get this straight: Akinyi’s father pimps her out time and again, hooks an unsuspecting (read idiot) suitor and bleeds the guy dry? There are probably a whole lot of Johns Bens all pursuing her simultaneously. It’s an excellent business model. 

[greekmom]

1 hour ago, Neurochick said:

The men in that documentary remind me of many of the Americans on this show.  They say they're looking for love but they're really looking for a fantasy, it's like falling in love with a picture.

Check out the reddit thread. There is some interesting info on the Australian. 

Now the show.

Ben and Bikini: I wonder if the whole point of Bikini telling Ben that they will be “married” when daddy and Ben agree to a bride price was for her to test the Ben waters.  Otherwise, there is no way that Ben would have slept with her. I also wonder if he just split the $600 and gave Mama and Papa each 300$.

Tim and Jeniffer: I cannot believe he was there 2 weeks and vanilla Ben got more sex than Tim did. 

Grangela and Michael: Loved the little white lie she told Mama. Angela is only looking for number 1. She doesn’t want to have anymore kids. Damn currently she’s watching Scottie’s.  Micheal is only there for Angela’s sexual gratifications and to wipe her ass when she is too old or too fat to.

Zied and Rebecca: At the Tell All, I bet Rebecca will say she has another secret.

Omar and Avery: I would say apply for the visas and wait.

Darcy and Tom: the wedding hints were dropping like anvils and Tom totally snarked her with a “key” to his “house”.  Damn that’s cold.  And TLC furthers it by not only revealing at the Tell All that Tom’s been engaged twice but bringing Jessie who really has no place anymore.

This show both infuriates me and I can't wait till next week!

[Persnickety1]

1 hour ago, SevenCostanza said:

I'm confused about why he's even there.  I'm sure he was invited by why?  He had nothing to do with this season.  Are the producers just trying to rattle Darcey some more?  That seems unnecessary. 

Spoiler

I posted this in the live chat thread, but you might not have seen it.  There is an article going around the reality tv/soap sites that this season started out with Jesse filming with Darcy.  Shit apparently went south (for reasons no one can confirm), and suddenly Tom was brought it to pinch hit and film with her.  This was backed up with a couple of Instagram posts Jesse had made where he was in NYC (or maybe Connecticut, I can't remember).  Darcy wasn't in the posts, just Jesse.  I'm hoping whether this is true and, if so, what the circumstances will be addressed at the Tell Nothing...but with Shawn at the helm, I'm not holding my breath.  

[Kangatush]

46 minutes ago, suzeecat said:

I'm confused.  Why didn't Akinyi come back to America with Ben?  Wasn't that the point of him going to Africa to marry her?  Was the plan all along for him to leave her behind, and if so, why?

Because he has to apply for the K-1 visa.  His trip was so that he could meet her, and perhaps get engaged.  They're not legally married yet.

[Hannah94]

45 minutes ago, essexjan said:

Dammit, it's not on UK Netflix.

Idk if this helps or not, but I found it "On Demand" for free with my local cable company in the States. Not sure how cable works in the UK.