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S03.E12: King Of My Heart


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On 10/21/2019 at 1:50 PM, humbleopinion said:

Tim looks like a Boy Bratz Doll...fancy clothes, Ferrari jacket and trucker cap, 5 o'clock scruff, enlarged eyes, manicured eyrbrows,  giant head in proportion to his teeny tiny Timmy body....

YESSSSS 1000000x YESSSSSS.  

Thank you, I can now pay attention to their "storyline" instead of trying to figure out what fictional creature he reminds me of.  

JKLOL I always forget they're part of this show until they come on the screen and i end up saying "Huh. They're on this season, I guess."

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45 minutes ago, magemaud said:

Okay @JennyMominFL we have an assignment for you, should you choose to accept it. Try and find a door that uses the kind of key Tom gave to Darcy and post the photograph 

thanks in advance 

OK.l I need to go back and check. 

Well, that was an easy mission. My friend has 2 old houses. One is 400+ years old in Gloucestershire and the one I am in now in Newark. This one is 150 years oldl He says they are older style keys but not uncommon. Here are his keys.

C7525-B77-3-B19-491-F-9-A81-7-F2-CAD1-C5

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On 9/28/2019 at 11:06 PM, Hannah94 said:

This moron took her fresh out of prison boyfriend to open a bank account.....with what money exactly? 

I think the prison gives you $50 and a bus ticket. Or is that a myth?

On 10/21/2019 at 1:50 PM, humbleopinion said:

Tim looks like a Boy Bratz Doll...fancy clothes, Ferrari jacket and trucker cap, 5 o'clock scruff, enlarged eyes, manicured eyrbrows,  giant head in proportion to his teeny tiny Timmy body....

😂

cddfca36d319b264686160dda50816ee.jpg

But the actual Tim has a widows peak that he shaves off but keeps growing back faster than he can shave it.

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4 hours ago, Dirtybubble said:

That's what I was thinking.  Where the fudge does he live if this is the kinda key that opens his door?  My gut is telling me the producers from TLC gave him that key to give to her. 

He should have just called it the key to his heart.  Barf.

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3 hours ago, Persnickety1 said:

A restaurant with a pirate theme so she could be cinched up like a wench, baring as much of her quivering breasts as posible, and telling the male customers how they shiver her timbers.  😄  

Like how Heart dressed in those 80s videos like Never.

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On 10/21/2019 at 6:58 AM, essexjan said:

I was fast-forwarding through Caesar's segments until ... Helllooooo Jeremy!

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❤❤❤ thank you TLC, just what the cesear story needed. Send Jeremy to Ukraine with Cesear as his wingman! 

On 10/21/2019 at 8:12 AM, Hannah94 said:

I've seen comments about Love Me on here. Is that a movie or a series? I found a movie with that title but not sure if it is fiction or a docudrama type show. 

Love Me's been found. I've enjoyed similar stories produced by the BBC. 

On 10/21/2019 at 10:22 AM, shockermolar said:

But it was a metaphor. I know this because he stage whispered to Fidel to ask if he should be using a metaphor.  And I also thought he said bowl not bull.  In any case he said something like "if a bowl was worth 1000 shillings I would have 60 bowls." 

Fidel probably explained how to use a metaphor earlier to Ben, and he used "bulls" as an example. The family probably assumed the ignorant dweeb had many expendable riches. So unimaginative pauper Ben softened the blow by using "bowls." And that's why Fidel burst out laughing. Lol!

23 hours ago, Adeejay said:

I would like to know what Darcey has done to the producers of this show. It seems as though they use every opportunity to humiliate her and make her feel worse about herself.  Even if they are paying her a fortune, she should reconsider, because no amount of money is worth your self respect.  I sincerely hope this is her last appearance on the franchise, but who am I kidding?!

Maybe it's revenge, I've noticed the shadiness too. 

I can totally picture Darcey having one or more crushes on young production men. Drunk flirting during filming, making herself a pest, maybe taking it to a stalker level. This is really mean to say, if in fact she's a doll to work with. But I get a crazy MILF vibe from her. 

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On 10/21/2019 at 12:33 PM, suzeecat said:

OK, except people on this show come to America before they're married & apply for K-1 all/most of the time (thinking Chantel/Pedro, Danielle/Mohammed, Colt/Larissa).  Sure, it's to see if they are compatible enough to marry, but with Akinyi, I think Ben is already committed, whether compatible or not.  She's bought (albeit on the installment plan from hell) and paid for. 

Those people had already applied for a visa and that visa had been approved, therefore setting the 90 day countdown clock. Married, engaged, whatever...all the foreigners still have to apply for visas. Unless they live in a visa waiver country (like most of Europe) they are not allowed to travel to the US until their visa has been approved. Ben went to Africa to get engaged. Now that he is engaged, he can return to the US and apply fot a visa for Bikini. From the time he applies until the time the visa has been approved, he is looking at 6-12 months. She will not be allowed to come here until then. The couples you are referencing had already gone through that process-we just didn't see it. This show is simply showing the process that occurs before the visa app has been filed, hence the "before the 90 days".

If anyone could just go to another country, marry, and then bring that person back then there would be no need for visas and Avery could have brought Omar back with her.

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On 10/21/2019 at 6:01 AM, Alonzo Mosely FBI said:

What else ? Oh Angela looked the prettiest she ever has with her hair up and in that garb. I was shocked ! 

But she thought she looked like a "fat cow"

3 hours ago, RoxiP said:
4 hours ago, not you again said:

Does Zied remind anyone else of Andy Kaufmann with his unblinking stare?  Specifically that routine he would do, not the man himself.

image.png.7f505cbcd6edc26a4a5b454dcb307f90.png

Actually that reminds me more of Summit.

OMG they're the same guy

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9 hours ago, BallisticNikki said:

It's not Middle East style. It's traditional modest Muslim style, which she chooses to wear every day, regardless of what country she's in.

Since almost 100% of the ME is Muslim I didn't feel the need to be specific.  But if she converted, my bad.

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On 10/21/2019 at 12:41 PM, Kath94 said:

Must it be said again?  The 90 days is NOT to "see if you are compatible."  That should already be a given.  The 90 days is to allow the foreign fiance to get settled in, plan, and execute (heh!) a wedding.  This show makes it sound like you're getting to know each other and make a decision, but in reality the decision should already be made.

That is my #1 pet peeve about this franchise. As you said, the 90 days are NOT to see if you are compatible-it's literally to give the couple time to plan the marriage and settle in. It assumes that, by then, the couple have already been together for quite a while and KNOW that they are compatible. The way this show portrays the K-1 visa is NOT how the majority of people use it, or how it was meant to be used.

By the time we applied for our K-1 visa, we'd been dating and living together in England for a few years and had a child on the way. I've gotten to know hundreds of K-1 couples on VisaJourney (where I am now a mod) over the years. The people on this show who use that 90 days as a "getting to know you" period are, by far, the minority. The majority are just regular couples who met overseas and have already forged some kind of life together. Lauren/Alexei, Liz/Andei, and Kirlyam/Alan (even Roos and Pao) are MUCH closer to how the system actually works.

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12 hours ago, Gobi said:
13 hours ago, BallisticNikki said:

No shade. But wasn't she supposed to have been a highly ranked, competitive gymnast very recently? I wonder what accounted for the weight gain. 

That can happen to athletes. While active, they’re burning, and consuming, a lot of calories. Then the athletics stops, but not the high calorie intake.  Thus, weight gain.

Pretty sure she just "did gymnastics," without any mention of ranking.

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On 10/21/2019 at 5:48 PM, magemaud said:
  On 10/21/2019 at 8:36 AM, suzeecat said:

I'm confused.  Why didn't Akinyi come back to America with Ben?  Wasn't that the point of him going to Africa to marry her?  Was the plan all along for him to leave her behind, and if so, why?

Who on earth would fund the $2,500 plane ticket?

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14 hours ago, BallisticNikki said:

I can only speak for Catholics....bc I went thru this personally.

But the Church will consider the marriage valid but not sacramental. A divorce and annulment would still be necessary to get married for the first time or again in the Catholic faith if a previous nonsacramental marriage ended. Dispensation or new blessing by a Catholic priest if the marriage is still intact. Not fornication. 

I want to say he's Lutheran??? I could be very wrong. But Lutherans are very similar to Catholics. Maybe the thinking on this issue is similar?

Lutherans are really not that similar to Catholics... I'm one so I would know! I personally haven't heard of a marriage somehow being "valid" like this either. 

18 hours ago, JasonH said:

Tom’s “apartment key” looked like a key for a 300 year old treasure chest.

I live in England and have a key like that! It fits a very old lock in my door that still works, but another newer lock has been added too.

Edited by Takitaki
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13 hours ago, OrchidThief said:

But she thought she looked like a "fat cow"

On behalf of the fat cows as their spokesperson, cows would like you to know that they are in better physical shape than that blobby obese chimney and drunkard known as Ange. Cows have primarily a vegetarian diet with plenty of grasses and grain, an outdoors lifestyle, clear eyes and the heifers have their eggs and ability to tote them too.... 

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1 hour ago, humbleopinion said:

On behalf of the fat cows as their spokesperson, cows would like you to know that they are in better physical shape than that blobby obese chimney and drunkard known as Ange. Cows have primarily a vegetarian diet with plenty of grasses and grain, an outdoors lifestyle, clear eyes and the heifers have their eggs and ability to tote them too.... 

And they are used to dealing with bullshit.

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18 hours ago, magemaud said:

Okay @JennyMominFL we have an assignment for you, should you choose to accept it. Try and find a door that uses the kind of key Tom gave to Darcy and post the photograph 

thanks in advance 

It's the key to Maid Marian's chastity belt--slo-mo Men in Tights, and you can't fail to identify it.

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SO MUCH to talk about with this shitshow.  My god.  OK.

Akini and Ben:  Good god, man.  They've been married for half an hour and she already seems sick of him.  I mean, can't say I blame her with his pontificating and sweaty bible reading, but why make it so obvious that you dislike the guy so much?  Her family is eye-rolling-ly obnoxious. Also, we get it.  Sex was bad. Real bad.

Avery:  The great Islamic experiment is not going your way?  No shit.  I feel bad because I feel like Omar might actually have some adult feelings, but this is more about putting her foot down and letting people know that SHE'S A GROWN UP AND SHE CAN DO WHAT SHE WANTS MOOOOOOM.  Her brother had more sense.  It's a sad situation, but I have a feeling will grow boring soon enough for her.  

Darcy and the sheriff of Rottingham:  How is it that a woman in her 40's, with children, fucking foaming at the mouth for an engagement ring.  That dude has seen one too many Hugh Grant movies and that last heaving jog toward Darcy wasn't romantic as much as it was a sad truffle shuffle toward a lady who needs a serious self-esteem boost.  And Jesse is going to the tell all?  What a loser.  Hopefully he does his own makeup this time.  

Angela is just a sad, racist shithead.  Makuhhhl, stay home with your mom.  

Caesar needs to go on and get himself off the show.  Next time he finds someone, he should add a captcha code to his profile because Maria is A ROBOT.

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14 hours ago, noveltylibrary said:

Since almost 100% of the ME is Muslim I didn't feel the need to be specific.  But if she converted, my bad.

Closer to 90% than 100%. But the point is, she dresses that way due to her religion. Not where she is travelling.

7 hours ago, Takitaki said:

Lutherans are really not that similar to Catholics... I'm one so I would know! I personally haven't heard of a marriage somehow being "valid" like this either. 

I guess the similarity is relative and it's a moot point if he is not Lutheran.  But yes, the two demoninations describe themselves as having similar ideology and both churches will regard other Christian marriages as "valid" under certain circumstances. Plenty of info on this available.

Here's a summary:

We request our pastors, wherever possible, to hold conferences with couples planning to marry, with the purpose of emphasizing the sacredness and enduring character of the married state, according to the plan of God. We reaffirm our position, holding that no Lutheran minister should perform a marriage ceremony for a divorced person, until he is convinced that the individual is the innocent party in a divorce occasioned by grounds recognized by the Church as valid. (See ULCA. Minutes 1930, page 112, item 6).

Source

The Common Tradition
The similarities in Catholic and Lutheran teaching on marriage are well known. Some are rooted in the more “official” theology of the Lutheran and Catholic traditions and communities; others are based on pastoral practice. In either case, both traditions hold that marriage is a life-long covenant of faithfulness, blessed by God, and from that basis a number of other important things follow.

Source

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Avery has no interest in the Muslim religion. She converted for shock value and to be the center of attention. Whoever above said that she tried to outsmart the U.S government was dead right. I can't remember but why exactly did they get married so quickly? I think now that Omar has met her, he doesn't really like her. 

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17 minutes ago, calpurnia99 said:

Avery has no interest in the Muslim religion. She converted for shock value and to be the center of attention. Whoever above said that she tried to outsmart the U.S government was dead right. I can't remember but why exactly did they get married so quickly? I think now that Omar has met her, he doesn't really like her. 

I think she thought it would be easier to get a Muslim man here on a spousal visa than on a fiancée visa.

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20 hours ago, Rt66vintage said:

❤❤❤ thank you TLC, just what the cesear story needed. Send Jeremy to Ukraine with Cesear as his wingman! 

I too find Jeremy handsome but here is what I find weird.  When Jeremy and Cesear are speaking to each other I don't see friendship.  They just seem distant....cold...I don't know how to describe it really but to me they behave as if they just met.  So I'm guessing their "friendship" is for the show only which seems odd--why not get one of Cesear's actual friends to say this to him?

Also another thing about Cesear is the way he ALWAYS speaks of his gf as my Ukranian gf Maria.  Who speaks of the S.O. that way?  Why does he always have to identify her nationality.  I dated a man once from Germany and I NEVER said my German bf...so and so.  None of the other couples do it (that I can remember) so why does he always bring up her country of origin? 

Things just don't add up with this dude.

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34 minutes ago, Dirtybubble said:

I too find Jeremy handsome but here is what I find weird.  When Jeremy and Cesear are speaking to each other I don't see friendship.  They just seem distant....cold...I don't know how to describe it really but to me they behave as if they just met.  So I'm guessing their "friendship" is for the show only which seems odd--why not get one of Cesear's actual friends to say this to him?

Also another thing about Cesear is the way he ALWAYS speaks of his gf as my Ukranian gf Maria.  Who speaks of the S.O. that way?  Why does he always have to identify her nationality.  I dated a man once from Germany and I NEVER said my German bf...so and so.  None of the other couples do it (that I can remember) so why does he always bring up her country of origin? 

Things just don't add up with this dude.

In Caesar's case, it's probably because he isn't actually "dating" her, and calling her his Ukrainian gf is a way to preempt a request to meet her.

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1 hour ago, Dirtybubble said:

Also another thing about Cesear is the way he ALWAYS speaks of his gf as my Ukranian gf Maria.  Who speaks of the S.O. that way?  Why does he always have to identify her nationality.  I dated a man once from Germany and I NEVER said my German bf...so and so.  None of the other couples do it (that I can remember) so why does he always bring up her country of origin? 

Things just don't add up with this dude.

I think it’s like a badge of honor with him, aka “my hawwwttttt Ukrainian girlfriend”. Adds an air of mystery, or so he thinks. 
 

I can’t stand his doe-eyed looks.  Makes him look like an idiot.  But I can see the smirk underneath it. Blah. 

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On 10/21/2019 at 5:12 PM, Tuneful said:

Darcey needs a J-O-B. I don't mean reality shows, or some House of Satan "clothing business" no one has ever heard of. She needs to go to a job with regular hours that would hopefully contribute something to the world and give her some perspective. I think she sits around 24/7 obsessing on her latest BF and fashion, makeup, and hair, and arguing with her twin. How BORING for her dates. She could go, e.g., to community college. 99% of men these days want a woman who can pull her weight financially, as most of us do. It's not like Darcey needs to be home raising little children.

Can you imagine Darcey doing a regular job? Like working as a receptionist or an admin or something? Because I sure can't. You just know she sleeps till noon every day.

Darcey wants to have a career in reality TV. She wants to be a Real Housewife. Kim Zolciak is her role model and the object of her worship.

On 10/21/2019 at 9:47 PM, AZChristian said:

And since he never took Darcey to his house, she can't hunt him down to see if the key actually fits.

That was the funniest part! "Now that you're leaving the country, here's a key to my house. So you can come over whenever you want. Oh, that's right, you're heading home tomorrow, 3000 miles away. PSYCH!" She's not going to drop in from Connecticut.

On 10/22/2019 at 9:49 AM, Baltimore Betty said:

Even if that sham marriage was a thing, Ben is studying to be a pastor so wouldn't he naturally want to have a proper ceremony of sort to make it "legal" in G-ds eyes?  Because all Ben really did was negotiate a price for a roll in the hay, you know like he paid Bikini's pimp.

I am sure Ben did not send a group text to his family and friends telling them he just got married because he knows he is not.  Ben should know you are not married unless you need a lot of paperwork to get out of it!  Father Bikini did not make Ben sign anything, they did not recite vows, Ben is a sap.

Akinyi's language was deliberately vague "we'll be traditionally married". She never said legally married. She hit Ben with some mumbo jumbo since she knew he'd take her at her word and not try to verify it. ("what do you mean, document it? Don't you trust me?") The only thing I can't figure is why? Did she think that if she bamboozled him into "traditionally married", he'd have sex with her, sealing the deal and having her ticket to the US as good as in her pocket? Milquetoast, awkward Ben certainly seems like he'd be unlikely to drop a girl once he had sex with her. But I will bet you a shiny quarter that they aren't married at all, traditionally or any other way. I'm willing to grant that in their culture, once the bride price has been successfully negotiated, cake eaten, terms decided, that the couple is betrothed, or "as good as married". But that's it. They still have to marry legally, in Kenya or the US.

On 10/22/2019 at 12:31 PM, Persnickety1 said:

A restaurant with a pirate theme so she could be cinched up like a wench, baring as much of her quivering breasts as posible, and telling the male customers how they shiver her timbers.  😄  

If Darcey's breasts are "quivering" I'm Miss Universe. Those things are so full of silicone and scar tissue they're probably like granite.

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1 hour ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Darcey wants to have a career in reality TV. She wants to be a Real Housewife. Kim Zolciak is her role model and the object of her worship.

Exactly.  She would love to be on all the time. 

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Avery's mother should just quietly throw her passport and birth certificate in a shredder, she is too useless now to figure out how to get new ones and by the time she has matured enough to accomplish an adult task that requires forethought and planning she will have given up on the whole marriage thing. 

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6 hours ago, Dirtybubble said:

Also another thing about Cesear is the way he ALWAYS speaks of his gf as my Ukranian gf Maria.  Who speaks of the S.O. that way?  Why does he always have to identify her nationality.  I dated a man once from Germany and I NEVER said my German bf...so and so.  None of the other couples do it (that I can remember) so why does he always bring up her country of origin? 

Things just don't add up with this dude.

Darcy often refers to Tom as "my English Man Tom."  Drives me crazy. Who does that?

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18 minutes ago, Lynn said:

Darcy often refers to Tom as "my English Man Tom."  Drives me crazy. Who does that?

I did notice that she switched it up from "my English boyfriend Tom" to "my English man Tom."  I wondered if she had figured out at that point they weren't going steady.  

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5 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Can you imagine Darcey doing a regular job? Like working as a receptionist or an admin or something? Because I sure can't. You just know she sleeps till noon every day.

Can you imagine her getting to a job ON TIME? 

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14 hours ago, Dirtybubble said:

Also another thing about Cesear is the way he ALWAYS speaks of his gf as my Ukranian gf Maria.  Who speaks of the S.O. that way?  Why does he always have to identify her nationality.  I dated a man once from Germany and I NEVER said my German bf...so and so.  None of the other couples do it (that I can remember) so why does he always bring up her country of origin? 

Things just don't add up with this dude

I find his story line boring so I haven’t really paid too much attention to his scenes. However, the scene with dreamboat Jeremy caught my attention (natch). Something about the way Caesar was talking seemed very phony, like a bad actor barely remembering his lines. I’m dying to see him search for Maria in Ukraine 😂

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7 hours ago, 7isBlue said:

I find his story line boring so I haven’t really paid too much attention to his scenes. However, the scene with dreamboat Jeremy caught my attention (natch). Something about the way Caesar was talking seemed very phony, like a bad actor barely remembering his lines. I’m dying to see him search for Maria in Ukraine 😂

I think ceasar is probably acting at this point.  

LOL, if Maria was real and ceasar had brought her to the US, I bet Maria would have been all over Jeremy like a cheap suit.  Im sure Jeremy isn't like Raoul.....but boy, what a telenovela it would have been to watch that love triangle!

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22 hours ago, Dirtybubble said:

Things just don't add up with this dude.

I think Caesar is just not all there.  

15 hours ago, Lynn said:

Darcy often refers to Tom as "my English Man Tom."  Drives me crazy. Who does that?

Like Caesar, someone who is insecure and values their worth because they have a boy/girlfriend.  Neither want to have a real relationship, just the bragging rights.  

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On 10/23/2019 at 3:21 PM, Pepper Mostly said:

Can you imagine Darcey doing a regular job? Like working as a receptionist or an admin or something? Because I sure can't. You just know she sleeps till noon every day.

It would make or break her. Anyone seen the movie "Private Benjamin"?

Send Darcey to Parris Island: now, that's a reality show. 

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19 hours ago, Persnickety1 said:

I did notice that she switched it up from "my English boyfriend Tom" to "my English man Tom."  I wondered if she had figured out at that point they weren't going steady.  

It was such a time-filler that in every TH in Albania, Darcey would say "we are in Albania with my TWIN SISTER Stacie and her FIANCE Florian."  Ok, ok. We know who they are.

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3 hours ago, LGGirl said:

I think Caesar is just not all there.  

Like Caesar, someone who is insecure and values their worth because they have a boy/girlfriend.  Neither want to have a real relationship, just the bragging rights.  

Shades of the Enterprise rent a car pickup dude being a pretend boyfriend.

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I had a coworker who always referred to her husband as "my husband Michael" (with an annoying cloying tone like she had won the husband lottery and did I mention she did it multiple times a day?).  It drove me crazy.  

Don't even get me started on the throat clearing.

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I had to watch the part again where Ben asks Akini if the cookie jar was taken care of.  I. Have. No. Words.  Do people ask for feedback in the morning?  Is this normal?  I would think there would be some.......verbals.......that would indicate if the cookie jar was happy.

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