S03.E12: King Of My Heart

[Spike]

Ben struggles through the bride price ceremony; Tim leaves Colombia with unfinished business; Rebecca tries to hold onto Zied; Caesar meets with a friend; Tom plans a big gesture for Darcey's last night; Angela is uneasy at her engagement party.

Original air date 10/20/19

[magemaud]

What were the brown paper envelopes (?) that Ben handed Father and Mother Akinyi? 

[mamadrama]

Caesar is absolutely fucking with us at this point.

Whatever is going on with Bikini, Ben is not in on it. He legit seems happy to marry her.

Tom is fucking with Darcey to get his 15 minutes of fame. She doesn't realize this.

Jenifffer will never see Tim again.

Same goes for Avery and Omar.

[Spike]

Hey Avery!  Maybe you should have talked to the lawyer before getting married?

i bet Darcey did not take many bites of her King Prawn.

18 minutes ago, magemaud said:

What were the brown paper envelopes (?) that Ben handed Father and Mother Akinyi? 

Maybe they still use S&H Green Stamps over there.

[magemaud]

1 minute ago, Spike said:

Maybe they still use S&H Green Stamps over there

Ben can pay the bride price in Green Stamps! 

[Christina]

Avery has been on my last nerve for quite awhile now, so I was happy to see her stupid and completely foreseeable plan end in her tears. I felt sympathy for her mom, though. She was happy about the lawyer telling her it was a bad idea to move to Syria if she wanted the waiver to have a shot of success but still hurting for Avery crying over her stupid actions. I also liked the attorney.

When her mom pointed out that she just jumps into things without thinking them through, it reminded me of when her former classmates took to Twitter after seeing her on the show and claimed that she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder but refused to take her meds because she didn't like how they made her feel. The friend who appeared on the episode said it wasn't true, and some others said she had an obsessive compulsive disorder, not bipolar disorder. I don't think Avery has ever addressed it but based on her recent social media meltdowns I'm beginning to think there may be something there. IMO her meltdowns have taken place after massive trolling and may not have anything to do with mental health. It has to get exhausting trying to not be petty and rude to assholes on the internet, and she's way to immature to be able to just ignore it and walk away. 

I skipped Caeser, have already forgotten about Tim and Jeniffer after watching Avery get shut down in the lawyer's office, Darcey looked sober but they left the jewelry box as a cliffhanger, and Ben and Akinyi's segment was uncomfortable to watch. I could feel his anxiety through the screen and her family came across a bit hostile. Fidel laughing and her dad and mom not paying attention to the gift he gave them came across as very cold. This being this show, they probably looked at the gifts and it was cut so the story of him being conned could continue. 

[Hannah94]

Cesar is such a tool. I don't think a single soul on the planet can feel sorrow for this jack ass anymore. He deserves being used and that is a difficult thing to say about anyone (except him). Maria does not exist and he has to know this, but he is loving his tv time so much, he doesn't care that all the viewers groan and roll their eyes when his stupid ass is on screen. 

[HamSammich]

At this point, Ben is being flat out conned by Bikini’s family. They’re a pack of miserables and is the mother ever capable of looking pleasant? Good grief. Cultural differences or not, I’m over it. 
 

Speaking of being over it, get off my screen Caesar. If he didn’t have the IQ of a thumbtack, I would believe he is trolling TLC. 
 

I will deny saying this, but for the first time EVER, I felt a fleeting moment of compassion for Darcey. She looked genuinely elated (and sober) while Tom (potato with a hair hat) was smooth talking her over dinner. Girl is over the moon. I almost feel bad about the dumpster fire that we all know is coming. Then I remember DUMPSTER FIRE! Squeee! Jump! Jump! Clap! Clap! 
 

I’ve decided that Tiny Tim seduces “models” by exploiting his gift of being exceptionally good with children. And no, I don’t think there is anything weird about a male that is naturally good with kids. What I do think is weird...is Tim. Is his misshapen head growing like a goiter? Start watching for it you guys, once you notice, you’ll never be able to stop! 

[Spike]

2 hours ago, Hannah94 said:

Cesar is such a tool. I don't think a single soul on the planet can feel sorrow for this jack ass anymore. He deserves being used and that is a difficult thing to say about anyone (except him). Maria does not exist and he has to know this, but he is loving his tv time so much, he doesn't care that all the viewers groan and roll their eyes when his stupid ass is on screen. 

It seems totally fake now.  She humiliates him and then he gives her another 2-3 grand?

[DiamondGirl]

3 hours ago, Hannah94 said:

Cesar is such a tool. I don't think a single soul on the planet can feel sorrow for this jack ass anymore. He deserves being used and that is a difficult thing to say about anyone (except him). Maria does not exist and he has to know this, but he is loving his tv time so much, he doesn't care that all the viewers groan and roll their eyes when his stupid ass is on screen. 

Where would he get this mythical $2000 to send her since Mexico?  I think he’s a liar as well as stupid.

Darcey did look beautiful at dinner; that’s the first time I’ve thought that.

Lol at Jenifffferrr’s “modeling” job.

[Spike]

11 minutes ago, DiamondGirl said:

Where would he get this mythical $2000 to send her since Mexico?  I think he’s a liar as well as stupid.

Darcey did look beautiful at dinner; that’s the first time I’ve thought that.

Lol at Jenifffferrr’s “modeling” job.

How many models have a huge tattoo on their chest?  

[magemaud]

26 minutes ago, DiamondGirl said:

Lol at Jenifffferrr’s “modeling” job.

Yes, what was up with all those balancing poses? 

I also call BS on Caesar’s sending Maria more money (he’s not even sure how much, but at least 2K in the past two weeks, yeah right.) 

Dopey Ben is going to be paying Akinyi’s bride price in monthly installments for the rest of his life. Her family hooked a big fish. He’s not even going to be able to afford bologna and Twinkies anymore. 

Every time I see the promo for the new season, I think the guy who says “She’s not a prostitute” is Fred Armisen. 

[RealReality]

12 hours ago, Spike said:

Hey Avery!  Maybe you should have talked to the lawyer before getting married?

i bet Darcey did not take many bites of her King Prawn.

Maybe they still use S&H Green Stamps over there.

Avery could have used Google for a couple of hours and figured this out.  

People have likely tried this before......the attorney wasn't shocked by the situation, but was able to easily produce numbers so I bet there are sources who publish this information about travel ban waivers.  

But what luck for Teri and what a blow for Omar to learn that Avery moving to Syria will hurt his case.  

I think Omar was counting on Teri pushing much harder for his Visa I'd Avery was in Syria.  But he has lost that little bit of emotional ransom and frankly Avery will be passionate for a bit but I think eventually.....she will do whatever the marriage equivalent is if sneaking fried chicken into her room.

1 hour ago, DiamondGirl said:

Where would he get this mythical $2000 to send her since Mexico?  I think he’s a liar as well as stupid.

Darcey did look beautiful at dinner; that’s the first time I’ve thought that.

Lol at Jenifffferrr’s “modeling” job.

I was confused, is someone trying to sell that look?  She seriously looked like a Batman villain in that outfit.  

I think ceasar is likely trying to stay on the TLC gravy train at this point, but I think that his story with Maria is real.  He may be hoping that making it obvious he is faking now will let people believe that he was faking it all along.  

[Persnickety1]

11 hours ago, Christina said:

Avery has been on my last nerve for quite awhile now, so I was happy to see her stupid and completely foreseeable plan end in her tears. I felt sympathy for her mom, though. She was happy about the lawyer telling her it was a bad idea to move to Syria if she wanted the waiver to have a shot of success but still hurting for Avery crying over her stupid actions. I also liked the attorney.

Oh good gawd almighty, I actually giggled throughout that scene.  Watching her pudgy, red splotched, nail-bitten hands with her too-small gold bracelet threatening to chew through her wrist, clenching with the blow she was dealt, all I could think of was, "Guess you should have done some research first, you petulant asshole."  

I also liked the attorney.  No kid gloves, no sugar coating, and straight to the facts.  

Edited October 20, 2019 by Persnickety1

[Persnickety1]

1 hour ago, DiamondGirl said:

Where would he get this mythical $2000 to send her since Mexico?  I think he’s a liar as well as stupid.

Darcey did look beautiful at dinner; that’s the first time I’ve thought that.

Lol at Jenifffferrr’s “modeling” job.

Because I obviously put way too much thought into the shenanigans of these chucklefucks, I thought he sent her whatever funds he had put aside for "her" flight to Mexico (even though the ticket was apparently canceled for NSF, he must have had a reasonably close amount in his account).  I've no idea how much it costs to fly from Ukraine to Mexico, but a round trip ticket might be around $2000, then the dumbass probably sent her money he should have been using for groceries.  

Coupon eggs and Ramen for the win, Cesar!  

[Persnickety1]

36 minutes ago, RealReality said:

I think ceasar is likely trying to stay on the TLC gravy train at this point, but I think that his story with Maria is real.  He may be hoping that making it obvious he is faking now will let people believe that he was faking it all along.  

I think it's real, too.  

I think he's just that much of a dullard...and there's a reason he lives in that sad little sparsely furnished duplex, rides his sad little bicycle, claims to work all that overtime, yet by all appearances is still dead ass broke.  

I love the way "Maria" waited until "she" knew his broke ass was back in America before "reaching out to him."  The scammer smelled out he was even more ripe for the pickin' after the Mexico debacle.  

Whoever said he has the IQ of a thumb tack is spot on 😄 

[Rt66vintage]

5 hours ago, Hannah94 said:

Cesar is such a tool. I don't think a single soul on the planet can feel sorrow for this jack ass anymore. He deserves being used and that is a difficult thing to say about anyone (except him). Maria does not exist and he has to know this, but he is loving his tv time so much, he doesn't care that all the viewers groan and roll their eyes when his stupid ass is on screen. 

At the very least, if Sharp Entertainment wanted to really sell us this bittersweet love story, they would've picked a much better looking man, or someone with a little personality. 

Geez, how are we supposed to feel any kind of way except impatience watching this jug-eared sadsack? Come on, Sharp, we deserve better. 

[Mrs. Hanson]

28 minutes ago, Persnickety1 said:

Oh good gawd almighty, I actually giggled throughout that scene.  Watching her pudgy, red splotched, nail-bitten hands with her too-small gold bracelet threatening to chew through her wrist, clenching with the blow she was dealt, all I could think of was, "Guess you should have done some research first, you petulant asshole."  

I also liked the attorney.  No kid gloves, no sugar coating, and straight to the facts.  

Now I am really excited for tonight!!!

Sounds like the attorney acted like....an attorney.  Finally!

[Persnickety1]

9 minutes ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

Now I am really excited for tonight!!!

Sounds like the attorney acted like....an attorney.  Finally!

Yeah, he seemed like an actual attorney and was very well versed in the topic, unlike half of these half-assed "therapists" and "attorneys" that usually show up.

I can't wait to see the second hour tonight because the first hour was so snark-filled!  😄 

[Spike]

2 hours ago, Persnickety1 said:

Yeah, he seemed like an actual attorney and was very well versed in the topic, unlike half of these half-assed "therapists" and "attorneys" that usually show up.

I can't wait to see the second hour tonight because the first hour was so snark-filled!  😄 

He was wearing one of those cobalt blue suits which is not really courtroom attire.

[Persnickety1]

1 minute ago, Spike said:

He was wearing one of those cobalt blue suits which is not really courtroom attire.

Well, to be fair, he was in his office not a courtroom.  Granted, he could have been headed to a courtroom but we weren't shown that.

Plus, what can I say, @Spike?  I'm going to love anybody who makes that asshole cry  😄  

[magemaud]

Off topic, but what is with those blue suits I've only seen men wear on TV, like Randy Fenoli on SYTTD? Do they exist in the real world and I just don't get out enough? 

[Spike]

6 minutes ago, Persnickety1 said:

Well, to be fair, he was in his office not a courtroom.  Granted, he could have been headed to a courtroom but we weren't shown that.

Plus, what can I say, @Spike?  I'm going to love anybody who makes that asshole cry  😄  

I have a bias against those suits because every d-bag on The Bachelorette wears one.   Yeah I doubt immigration attorneys go to court that often.

Edited October 20, 2019 by Spike

[Kareem]

Incredible how much she had wrong, according to the attorney, from going to live with him in Syria to getting him here in a year. Seems they need to re-think their plans. Seems, too, that being a 19 year old know it all backfired. 

[PityFree]

Avery must be secretly rich if she is ok with wasting billable lawyer time with crying.

[Hangin Out]

I want to smack Avery .. the Mother next.

[Hangin Out]

Jennifer, why don’t you run your fingers thru your hair a little more?  She thinks she’s so gorgeous.  And her attitude sucks.  I see better than her in  McDonalds.

Edited October 20, 2019 by Silver Bells

[magemaud]

6 hours ago, Spike said:

How many models have a huge tattoo on their chest?  

and an entire arm and some kind of large face on their back? 

I think she claimed to be a "fitness model" when we first met her. 

[Mrs. Hanson]

1 hour ago, PityFree said:

Avery must be secretly rich if she is ok with wasting billable lawyer time with crying.

No kidding!!  When I had to meet with a lawyer (years ago) I was quick and to the point.  No chit chat, no crying....just down to business.

[usernameG]

What do we really think is in that box Tom is giving Darcy? I really hope its another promise ring. That will make my night. 🤞 

[Spike]

2 minutes ago, usernameG said:

What do we really think is in that box Tom is giving Darcy? I really hope its another promise ring. That will make my night. 🤞 

Earrings or a bracelet.  The shape seems wrong for a ring.

[Gobi]

7 minutes ago, usernameG said:

What do we really think is in that box Tom is giving Darcy? I really hope its another promise ring. That will make my night. 🤞 

A shot glass with Darcey's initials engraved on it.

[Brooklynista]

If Akinyi is from "the best " family in the village as her father proclaims,  why are they having so much trouble unloading her??

[PityFree]

24 minutes ago, usernameG said:

What do we really think is in that box Tom is giving Darcy? I really hope its another promise ring. That will make my night. 🤞 

I’m hoping for a souvenir keychain of Big Ben.

[GladysCravits]

Tonight Tim finally went home and he had the nerve to act like he was ready for sex the night before and she fell asleep.  I bet the moment he was ready for sex was the minute he made sure she was soundly asleep.  He said he was busy packing.    Coincidentally, he finished after he made sure she was in a deep sleep.  For the life of me, I can’t figure what his deal is, though I do have several theories😂. 

[Hangin Out]

17 minutes ago, GladysCravits said:

Tonight Tim finally went home and he had the nerve to act like he was ready for sex the night before and she fell asleep.  I bet the moment he was ready for sex was the minute he made sure she was soundly asleep.  He said he was busy packing.    Coincidentally, he finished after he made sure she was in a deep sleep.  For the life of me, I can’t figure what his deal is, though I do have several theories😂. 

A small one?

[GladysCravits]

I think Tom wanted the world to see his ‘awesome’ dance moves.  He looked  rather uncoordinated to me.

[Mu Shu]

8 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

I agree 100% that Zied's family was rude, his sister was downright gangster and frankly I loved every minute of it, as Rebecca coming through the door, breaking stuff and not apologizing....kinda deserved it.   Knowing she was married yet presenting herself as divorced....yeah I kinda loved it.

Just a gentle correction:  I have never implied or accused Family Akini of being scammers.  I do question their rather cool tone when welcoming someone into their house.

I totally agree and support that communication styles are all different across the USA let alone continents.

They’re rude and sullen. Sitting by the damn refrigerator acting like they’re royalty or some shit. If they’re so distinguished, why haven’t they found someone local to purchase their annoying daughter? Because they’re full of shit, and are trying to get as much money out of dumbass Ben as they can. 

Ben could have gone to the DR and found a woman with a welcoming family who would have fed him well and not sold their daughter off like a prize pig. 

[Mrs. Hanson]

3 minutes ago, Mu Shu said:

Ben could have gone to the DR and found a woman with a welcoming family who would have fed him well and not sold their daughter off like a prize pig. 

Let's face it:  Ben could have gone to LA, San Diego, Atlanta, Charlotte, etc. for an educated female that trips his trigger.

1 hour ago, GladysCravits said:

Tonight Tim finally went home and he had the nerve to act like he was ready for sex the night before and she fell asleep.  I bet the moment he was ready for sex was the minute he made sure she was soundly asleep.  He said he was busy packing.    Coincidentally, he finished after he made sure she was in a deep sleep.  For the life of me, I can’t figure what his deal is, though I do have several theories😂. 

She pretended to be asleep.  I did it all the time married to my first hubby, lol!!!!  Look, if you want to do it, you FIND THE TIME!  And STAY AWAKE!!!

[Persnickety1]

3 hours ago, A-Lo said:

Posting here on tonight's show since the new thread is closed for some reason.  It absolutely sickens me to see middle-aged Rebecca groveling at Zied's feet!  Does this woman have no self-esteem whatsoever???

She's on this shit show, so the answer is...probably not  😄 

[OrchidThief]

I'm assuming that Bikini and Ben will never see each other again. They probably line up some chump once a month and choose one who blows all he's got on the bride price so he can't afford to fly back. LMFAO.

[Kangatush]

I adore that Tim made such a huge deal about her falling asleep one night, out of all the many nights he was there, thwarting his chance to "make love".  Yeah Tim, it's HER fault.

And PS, what the sighted goat is Jesse doing at the tell all?  That just seems to be dealing blows that do not need to be dealt.

[seasons]

2 hours ago, GladysCravits said:

I think Tom wanted the world to see his ‘awesome’ dance moves.  He looked  rather uncoordinated to me.

"Dancing with the Stars" UK?

is that a thing?

6 hours ago, PityFree said:

Avery must be secretly rich if she is ok with wasting billable lawyer time with crying.

I was thinking the same thing. Maybe consultation is free? The lawyer seemed young and maybe just starting out?

[Frozendiva]

Thanks, Drogo, for unlocking the thread!

Akini, you now know that Benjamin isn't all that, will be a probably pathetic husband, you will be very disappointed that he is not rich, you will have a humble life where he lives, and will most likely be his child's free babysitter. You were sold on easy pay by your family. Please hope that you don't have to go to the US and maybe you can find a wealthier American husband. Or get some education in the US, get a job when you can, and get out.

Avery, the lawyer told you the facts. You should have seen an immigration lawyer *before* you went to Lebanon and married Omar. Chances are he will have another few wives before you are reunited. Life isn't fair and you don't always get what you want. You are young, stubborn, entitled and a bit of a brat. And also have a lot of growing up to do. Packing up your stuff and moving to the Middle East will not be easy for you. Omar is not massively rich and you will not be living the good life and jetting off to Paris and attending the haute couture shows. Crying is not going to motivate the lawyer to pull strings for you. You can go to your Congressperson or your state senator and stand in line. You don't get special treatment because you are Miss Avery and deserve to be with the love of your life right now.

Angela, you looked like Chef Boyardee in your traditional outfit. You also looked old and haggard and being able to tote an egg will be tough for you. Stop abusing Michael and let him find someone more suitable than you. I must really want the Green Card to put up with your abuse.

Rebecca, you didn't think that Zied would mind that you are technically 'married' still - even if it is only for a few more weeks? You disrespected him and his culture and his religion. However, you are spared for a few days without him having to bathe. As a viewer, I have no idea what you see in him except for a somewhat hot young man who will do your bidding - til he gets his freedom.

Tim, you should have made it clear to Jeniffer that you would not be intimate with her during your two week visit. Maybe she sees your Ferrari and that holds her interest, or that you are good toward her daughter. Have no idea what kind of modelling work she really gets - a lot of agencies will not send heavily tattooed models where skin is shown. Unless the tats can be Photoshopped out. Or covered with Dermablend or something. Or are part of the shoot. You don't offer her much as a husband or life partner. Unless it is someone to go shopping with, or to the spa with. Might want to consider an open marriage of sorts.

Darcey, too much real and figurative baggage. Too much working in a marriage proposal in to every activity you do with Tom. He really isn't interested. Too over the top and kinda desperate. You had a mixed three weeks with him with more bad than good. He really got to see who you are and he didn't much like it. Kinda mean to give you a ring type box and lo and behold it is to a key to a home that you have never been to, and probably will never set foot in. He would probably change the locks.  You created this lovely romantic fantasy that was not based in any reality. Both of you are mismatched. Enough of the hair extensions, the falsies everything, and maybe do some work on your self, develop some interests besides fashion (hey, I like nice clothes and shoes too!) and dressing for men. Take some courses, do some reading, bring something to the table.

[magemaud]

Gee, Jenifffffferrrrrr, tell us how you really feel about Teem. 

And, I know it’s sideways and in Spanish, but what does her arm tat say? 

[Frozendiva]

I forgot about Caesar. Listen to your friends, dude, and don't waste one more dime on 'Maria'. With all the money you sent her she can pay for her own trip to Cuba. Do a Google reverse search on her photo to learn who she really is. Someone who is in to you won't be constantly hitting you up for money or gifts.

[Callaphera]

Darcey, after Tom came running back into the airport for a second goodbye: "He came back!" *blinks back tears, whispers emotionally* "It was beautiful."

Darce. Honey. Sweetie. He picked up 140 pounds worth of hair extensions and Juvederm and made out with it in the middle of an airport. If that's your idea of beautiful, you've been reading from The Other Way Jenny's romance novel stash. 

Also, you might want to watch out. Avery is coming for your title of the Queen of 90 Day Tears. I'd pay to see that fight. Darcey would destroy her, probably without breaking a nail. 

Edited October 21, 2019 by Callaphera

[Auntie Anxiety]

Whenever the subject of money comes up, I have to remind myself that these imbeciles are being paid a decent amount for appearing on the show. Thus, Father Akinyi knows for a fact that he can squeeze Ben for more than 60 bulls (hehe) and Avery can pay a lawyer to unsuccessfully (I assume) procure a visa for her beloved soulmate and bestie, Omar. 

Jenifffffer, it’s nice to find a good father for your child, but you should probably take a page out of Veronica’s book. Tim can play daddy to your daughter and you’re free to find a man for your own needs. I’m beginning to think that Tim forgot to pack the strap on so he couldn’t have sex with you.

[Delete]

Hairyback Ben is absolutely gross. He actually referred to her vagina as a cookie jar, and wanted a performance review the morning after. Gag. 

The very thought of his stubby hands, yellow teeth, and hairy naked body makes me want to hurl. In addition to all of this, it is his personality that repulses me the most. He's so flat, monotone, and boring. He's a human mothball.  For a guy who is newly wed, he hasn't a romantic bone(r) in his body.

If he is being used by Akinki and her family. Good. He deserves it. 

Edited October 21, 2019 by Barbara Please

[OrchidThief]

32 minutes ago, Frozendiva said:

Avery, the lawyer told you the facts. You should have seen an immigration lawyer *before* you went to Lebanon and married Omar. Chances are he will have another few wives before you are reunited.

All American wives, too! This guy is no dummy.

3 hours ago, GladysCravits said:

I think Tom wanted the world to see his ‘awesome’ dance moves.  He looked  rather uncoordinated to me.

My ex forced me into learning swing dancing. I hated it because all the men were spazzes and acted like they were aces, and while jerking me around the dance floor kept yelling at me to "listen to the beat!" I've been a professional musician for 40 years. I can hear the beat.