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S03.E12: King Of My Heart


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On 10/21/2019 at 1:19 AM, Dobian said:

Well props to Tom for one-upping the promise ring with a promise key!

"Well I know I didn't make a move on you for two weeks, but it's your fault for falling asleep after I didn't make a move on you again!"

I need to jump on this Caesar gravy train.  I'm going to make a fake Instagram account for Olga Slutskaya, put up some pics of a Ukranian webcam girl, contact Caesar and watch the money start rolling in.

"I know people say, why don't you fall in love with someone from America?  Well I can't help it that I fell in love with someone from halfway around the world.  I mean, I know I was trolling for husbands online from halfway around the world, but that's got nothing to do with it!"

Akini's dad resigned himself to the reality that Akini could only land an American who is poorer than they are.

"We'll just lie to Michael's mom about me being barren, there's plenty of babies back home we can kidnap"

There is a Russian ice skater Irina Slutskaya. 

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5 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

I had to watch the part again where Ben asks Akini if the cookie jar was taken care of.  I. Have. No. Words.  Do people ask for feedback in the morning?  Is this normal?  I would think there would be some.......verbals.......that would indicate if the cookie jar was happy.

That whole scene was cringey.  I could barely watch.  You just KNOW that was some terrible jiggy.  I bet a solid handshake would have been more erotic than sex with ben. 

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14 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

I had to watch the part again where Ben asks Akini if the cookie jar was taken care of.  I. Have. No. Words.  Do people ask for feedback in the morning? 

In front of a camera crew? 

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Just now, Baltimore Betty said:

I just email a survey the next morning 😏

Always ask right afterwards so it's fresh in their mind and they don't forget anything. 

You just know Ben's a forgettable guy. 

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8 minutes ago, Drogo said:

Always ask right afterwards so it's fresh in their mind and they don't forget anything. 

You just know Ben's a forgettable guy. 

LOL, I think Ben's the guy you hope you can forget, but the sex was that bad that it's burned into your brain forever.  

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10 minutes ago, RealReality said:

LOL, I think Ben's the guy you hope you can forget, but the sex was that bad that it's burned into your brain forever.  

Yeah he does not strike me as......imaginative or giving in that area.  Just sayin'......

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4 minutes ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

Yeah he does not strike me as......imaginative or giving in that area.  Just sayin'......

I think nerdy guys can be good (I've watched revenge of the nerds).  But akyinis face/demeanor and Ben weirdly seeking approval and using "cookie jar" on national TV tells me all I need to know.  

If akyini were at all likeable I'd pity her.  

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On 10/23/2019 at 4:10 PM, BallisticNikki said:

Closer to 90% than 100%. But the point is, she dresses that way due to her religion. Not where she is travelling.

I guess the similarity is relative and it's a moot point if he is not Lutheran.  But yes, the two demoninations describe themselves as having similar ideology and both churches will regard other Christian marriages as "valid" under certain circumstances. Plenty of info on this available.

Here's a summary:

We request our pastors, wherever possible, to hold conferences with couples planning to marry, with the purpose of emphasizing the sacredness and enduring character of the married state, according to the plan of God. We reaffirm our position, holding that no Lutheran minister should perform a marriage ceremony for a divorced person, until he is convinced that the individual is the innocent party in a divorce occasioned by grounds recognized by the Church as valid. (See ULCA. Minutes 1930, page 112, item 6).

Source

The Common Tradition
The similarities in Catholic and Lutheran teaching on marriage are well known. Some are rooted in the more “official” theology of the Lutheran and Catholic traditions and communities; others are based on pastoral practice. In either case, both traditions hold that marriage is a life-long covenant of faithfulness, blessed by God, and from that basis a number of other important things follow.

Source

It might be different in the US, but where I'm from, being divorced for example as a Lutheran is no problemo. But yeah, moot point since he isn't Lutheran 😁

15 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

I had to watch the part again where Ben asks Akini if the cookie jar was taken care of.  I. Have. No. Words.  Do people ask for feedback in the morning?  Is this normal?  I would think there would be some.......verbals.......that would indicate if the cookie jar was happy.

I honestly thought I'd misheard what he said! So much cringe 

Edited by Takitaki
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3 hours ago, RealReality said:

LOL, I think Ben's the guy you hope you can forget, but the sex was that bad that it's burned into your brain forever.  

Can you imagine that walk of shame!

38 minutes ago, jnymph said:

Ditto.  More Jeremy, please.  Yum!

I could watch him with out the sound on.  

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I knew that cookie jar got to him. Look at his face when she says "don't touch the forbidden fruit. Keep your hand out of the cookie jar". Which, using this expression shows a pretty good command of English. Anyway as soon as she said "cookie jar" his eyes nearly popped out of his head. It really killed me that he referenced it again as her vadge, LMAO IS YOUR COOKIE JAR HAPPY? My eyes popped out of my head!

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On 10/23/2019 at 10:40 AM, Dirtybubble said:

So I'm guessing their "friendship" is for the show only which seems odd--why not get one of Cesear's actual friends to say this to him?

I wonder how many friends he has?  And how many of them are tired of hearing about Marie and didn't want to be on the show

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Kudos to Tom and the TLC producer that came up with the idea of giving Darcy a key. Totally surprised me. I knew it wasn't an engagement ring in that box but I was thinking earrings or a bracelet. A key! Now that was good. Usually these events are so predictable. Tom looked like his left eye was red and swollen and covered up with make up. I'm looking forward to Jesse's appearance at the tell-all. We all know this show is fake and he'll, at least, bring some sparks and good tv drama. Shaun Robinson, the clueless host, needs to milk that drama to the max.

Does anyone think Jeremy is really Ceasar's friend? He looks like he's right out of central casting playing "concerned, rational, good looking friend to dim-witted guy in love with a computerized robot/woman he's never met."

Angela needs to wear African clothes all the time. She looked better covered up and not showing every inch of her wrinkled, leathery skin.

Akinyi and Ben consummating the marriage. Shudder.

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3 hours ago, Matty said:

Kudos to Tom and the TLC producer that came up with the idea of giving Darcy a key. Totally surprised me. I knew it wasn't an engagement ring in that box but I was thinking earrings or a bracelet. A key! Now that was good. Usually these events are so predictable. Tom looked like his left eye was red and swollen and covered up with make up. I'm looking forward to Jesse's appearance at the tell-all. We all know this show is fake and he'll, at least, bring some sparks and good tv drama. Shaun Robinson, the clueless host, needs to milk that drama to the max.

Does anyone think Jeremy is really Ceasar's friend? He looks like he's right out of central casting playing "concerned, rational, good looking friend to dim-witted guy in love with a computerized robot/woman he's never met."

Angela needs to wear African clothes all the time. She looked better covered up and not showing every inch of her wrinkled, leathery skin.

Akinyi and Ben consummating the marriage. Shudder.

He reminds me of that seemingly normal woman who was cast as Nicole’s friend.

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20 hours ago, calpurnia99 said:

Bens face when she says Put your hand in the Cookie Jar

image.png.ef086efaa343b175040eb224fa6511b7.png

Oh lord, please tell me he's not taking Akyini's words literally and is into fisting or some other freaky stuff.  

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On 10/22/2019 at 11:06 AM, readheaded said:

I'm starting to wonder if Avery's got an issue where she's finding ways to distance herself from physical intimacy and hide her body like some people who have been molested or physically abused do.  Between the weight gain, the way she's dressing, and having a partner who's thousands of miles away, something isn't computing.

I’ve always thought Avery was using her newfound religion and its restrictions and emphasis on modesty as a reaction to a traumatic event in her life. Her friends gave the impression that she was pretty wild, dressed revealingly  and had lots of boy friends and was sexually active. The suddenly a 180 degree turn.    

On 10/22/2019 at 4:30 PM, Spike said:

Like how Heart dressed in those 80s videos like Never.

She could be a server at Medieval Times. 

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5 hours ago, Matty said:

Kudos to Tom and the TLC producer that came up with the idea of giving Darcy a key. Totally surprised me. I knew it wasn't an engagement ring in that box but I was thinking earrings or a bracelet. A key! Now that was good. Usually these events are so predictable. Tom looked like his left eye was red and swollen and covered up with make up. I'm looking forward to Jesse's appearance at the tell-all. We all know this show is fake and he'll, at least, bring some sparks and good tv drama. Shaun Robinson, the clueless host, needs to milk that drama to the max.

Does anyone think Jeremy is really Ceasar's friend? He looks like he's right out of central casting playing "concerned, rational, good looking friend to dim-witted guy in love with a computerized robot/woman he's never met."

Angela needs to wear African clothes all the time. She looked better covered up and not showing every inch of her wrinkled, leathery skin.

Akinyi and Ben consummating the marriage. Shudder.

I wonder if Darcy hauled off and smacked Tom when she opened that box,  then they had to do another take. 

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35 minutes ago, iwasish said:

I wonder if Darcy hauled off and smacked Tom when she opened that box,  then they had to do another take. 

Or maybe she hurled it at him...kinda like when she (allegedly) hurled that Loubie at Jesse 😄 

ETA:  Does anyone know if there's a preview of tomorrow night's episode available yet?  

Edited by Persnickety1
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24 minutes ago, Persnickety1 said:

Or maybe she hurled it at him...kinda like when she (allegedly) hurled that Loubie at Jesse 😄 

ETA:  Does anyone know if there's a preview of tomorrow night's episode available yet?  

I think the problem is the finale proper is only one hour and then the second hour is part one of the tell all and the third hour is pillow talk.  So if they put the first hour up it would spoil the end of the season.

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46 minutes ago, Spike said:

I think the problem is the finale proper is only one hour and then the second hour is part one of the tell all and the third hour is pillow talk.  So if they put the first hour up it would spoil the end of the season.

Oh, that would explain it...Grazi, @Spike!

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I think a great way for TLC to save the Cesar trainwreck storyline is to have Dr. Phil have him on a catfishing episode. Expose who the Maria pictures actually belong too. Have her there On Skype to say who she is, where she is from  and that it absolutely not her interacting with him . How much money he has actually sent? Who is actually using those photos as their own to snare him. See that the phone numbers actually originate in Nigeria.

And watch him achieve ( his fake realization) that it isn"t real!

Finally he can be released from his horrible acting job!

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I havent seen the last 15 min. of this , but here are my thoughts.

Broke dork and Bikini- Her grifter family is just going to keep him making payments and he's so stupid that he will.  She is weird and will end up looking just like her mom.  I guess he's the only one asking about Bikini for marriage so they figured they needed to get as much as they can out of him.  No one needs to hear aobut their sex life, EVER.

Darcy and Tom- She got what she deserved. A fake key to a home she's never been to and that she can hardly ever visit since she lives on another continent. Darcy is a cry-monster.

Cesear- less him and more Jeremy- I'd watch Jeremy clean countertops.

Greasy Rasputin and Becca- I didn't see the end of this but please tell me he left her.  For all his faults he doesn't deserve to be her sex slave.

Avery- Cry, dumb girl.  Like she never did any research on Syria and the travel ban?  I hope they can never be together and Omar divorces her.

Angela and Mycull- gross and she lied to his mom. and he let her.

Tiny Tim and Jen- Of course he didn't have sex; he's super gay.  Not that there is anything wrong with that, but stop trying to ruin some hot chick's life.  I seriously doubt that he is the best "family man" that has shown interest in her. Don't settle , girl.

I can't wait to see Angela fight onstage.

Edited by doyouevengohere
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On 10/21/2019 at 9:31 AM, essexjan said:

IIRC, before she'd even met Jesse, Darcey had bought herself a fake gigantic CZ 'engagement' ring that she wore on her wedding finger. It may well be that same one.

So Darcey wore a big fake cz ring on her Left wedding finger so if she happened to be ‘out & about’ ( aka the bar in her case)...... a single man who happens to see her and was attracted to fake hair, huge push up boobs and hooker attire would think Oh drat! She’s taken! And never approach her?  Good going Darcey!   The man of your dreams may have thought you were married and kept going ! 😭💋🤵🏻🏃‍♂️💍🍷💔

Edited by DNR
Emoooooooojis
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I hate that disgusting pig Angela. I hope they never have her on another show. And I hope they don't have Caesar on again either. I just do not want to watch him make a fool out of himself over that woman who's basically a prostitute.

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On 10/21/2019 at 2:09 PM, Bryce Lynch said:

I think it was when she was drunk, or maybe before that when Ben was telling her that he would sleep on the couch and she would sleep in the bed.  She mentioned forbidden fruit and the cookie jar.  

I thought he said "bulls", but $10 will only get you a couple of burgers.  

I thought he said "bowls."  Bulls makes more sense. 

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