S09.E14: The Forever Decision

[MajorNelson]

11 hours ago, For Cereals said:

Iris is religious.  If memory serves, she’s a purity ball girl, which is why her dad lost it during the reception.

Ho ho!  See there was something behind pleasing Daddy, etc.

[Marley GMA]

Iris' mom is gonna be real sad Keith moved on and probably a little annoyed with her daughter.  She genuinely liked Keith as a match for her daughter and tried to gently push her daughter in the de-virginizing direction!

[sometimesjennifer]

4 hours ago, luvly said:

"I's married."
"So Matt, like truly... how you doin?"

I know they're small things but these are the little bits of Deonna's personality that peek through that I wish they'd shown more of. I don't think she's nearly as cold as she seemed, nor is Greg nearly as needy/obedient, but their storyline had to be her walls so all the fun stuff got cut.

Agreed! I think there was a lot more going on between them than we saw, but it was boring because it was just normal getting to know each other/living their lives together stuff so it wasn't worthy of being on the show because we want the suspenseful angst and wild table flipping action. 

After the decision meeting, Deonna looked SO happy, and she gave the experts big, warm hugs with a huge smile on her face. When they got to the couples dinner she was positively beaming with happiness. However, with Greg she still seemed almost shy and that's when something hit me: could the demeanor that a lot of people seem to perceive as coldness possibly just be the awkward shyness of a woman who has a "crush" on this awesome guy and is trying not to seem overly eager? Her last real relationship was with her high school boyfriend, and since then she has only had situationships that never went anywhere, possibly because she was TOO into guys who weren't interested in anything more than casual dating. So now she has this gem of a guy who is clearly into her and has already married her... she doesn't want to screw this up. She is sweet and silly and affectionate - we have seen this repeatedly. I think she wants to make sure Greg is all in before she reveals just how much she likes him. Just another way of looking at their scenario that occurred to me in that moment. 

Whatever the truth is, I am thrilled they chose to stay married and have high hopes for their future.

[Haute Messe]

I think that Keith’s problems with staying in the marriage make a huge amount of sense. I have always thought that her lack of relationship experience is what put him off as much as the virgin thing. Maybe he felt like he was dating a teenager, because it certainly was not a spousal situation. He let her down gently, and was quite honest in his feedback, but I think Iris left with some hope that he would change his mind. I also though it was galling that Iris thinks that Keith is the one who needs to make some changes in order to make this work. I will be very disappointed if they do end up together after the fact – Keith deserves an equal partner. I wouldn’t know if Iris actually needs therapy – but she does need a fashion consultant.

I wonder if the “experts” did their job and talked to Amber to make sure she made the right decision before Matt arrived. That whole thing was hard to hear, and we are only seeing a small bit of what took place in the relationship behind the scenes. It sounds like he really was treating her terribly even when he was around, and I bet it was in the hope that she would tell him to GTFO, because he clearly did not have the balls to just bail, as he should have.  What an ass.

Hoping that Greg and Dionna make it. I think she has shown a lot of growth and if he doesn’t push her too hard, they might be able to get in a groove.

Red and Jamie deserve each other, I guess. Oy.

[MajorNelson]

Jamie always uses the roller coaster analogy mentioning the high highs and the very low lows.  But the editing from my perspective was mostly of the lows.  I did not predict Jamie would say yes, because I had seen too many table flippings and threats.

But perhaps they both know how bad they are and thought that maybe if the other person could accept them, then well...a yes could turn things around.

But, if the volcanic stuff continues, then 80%+ chance they are divorced within two years.  Good luck.

[Liberty]

1 hour ago, Booger666 said:

I think Amber asked Matt about the photos because she was secretly hoping he would say “let’s each take one as a momento”.

You are correct, she said she did not want any photos and was disappointed when Matt did not want any.  It was a trap Amber set so she could criticize him for doing what she just did.  Wonder why he fell for it rather than shrugging it off with a 'I'd like you to have them all, but thanks for thinking of me'.

[Kdawg82]

A storm came through my area and failed to record this mess beyond 34 minutes. I saw the 1st two decisions only. 

It popped in my head now (after catching "Below Deck" reruns yesterday) who Iris would be perfect with! The nerdy, kind of virginal E.J. (Bosun from like 2 seasons ago). Idk who here will understand that but I can see it. She needs someone as awkward as she is. She's not a bad person but just immature. I don't know who she will share her 1st sexual experience with at this age to where it won't be awkward and irrelevant to that person. I don't think others her age will even remember the details of their first time anymore. 

Matt has as much personality as a white wall. There's seriously just nothing there. Glad to hear how things went down just by reading it from you fine folks. Sounds like all the truth came out and Amber wasn't easy on him. 

Jaime and Beth- I don't really care. She's an actress for the cameras and he just seems like he wants consistent sex from someone and she seemed like "the one" based on her bewbies always being out. He just didn't get the memo that they're supposed to be play-acting for the show.

[Haute Messe]

15 hours ago, Auntie said:

Ooooh, one more  - sorry, can't get enough of Iris bashing....

"I and Keith are getting divorced."  

Did she say that? Usually she says "me and Keith" which is worse. She needs a grammar tutor as well.

[red12]

6 hours ago, Empress1 said:

That must have been so humiliating. I suspect, however, that had things not been so public (and I mean at work, not on TV), Matt would have been able to charm her into staying. "I'm gonna miss that stupid head!" Why? For what? Miss what? He wasn't there!

If there is one thing I know about (straight) men, it's that when a man is acting like he doesn't care, it's because he doesn't care. Dassit! It's that simple. I learned that lesson the hard way and maybe Amber will too. Amber wanted Matt to care about her; he did not, and will not. She wanted him to be like "I'm so sorry I hurt you," and he just isn't that sorry because he doesn't care about her that much.

There's no way I'd have done that dinner if I were getting divorced. Awkward. What are they going to do, fire you? It doesn't seem like these people are genuinely friends, so I'd be like "no thanks" and go back to my home and get on with my life.

I only saw the decisions because I was flipping channels, but I'm team Good for Keith. Iris really is childish, and it's not even about sex (though now she'll have to explain to people that she's a divorced virgin, which probably won't help her in the dating pool). There's no way there's hope for them in the future so Iris, don't get your hopes up. He was just trying to be polite in the group. He just wasn't that into her, and she's kind of a mess. I think she'd be better suited dating someone she met at church who shares her religious beliefs.

Dating in bars while single doesn't make you sleazy. Dating in bars WHILE MARRIED makes you sleazy. The show has recruited men from dating apps; I actually don't think it's that much of an issue if you're actively dating before you're cast on the show, as long as you STOP DATING once you're cast.

Really, I don't get why Matt couldn't just chill for two months. Two months is not a long time. Hell, they even gave them an out before that with that "recommitment" bullshit - why not say "I'm not feeling it" then? 

Her mother was like, just fuck already (I'm paraphrasing), so I don't think her mother kept her too stunted! 

See, that's part of why I think Iris is immature. I saw the movie "Good Boys" recently, which is about three sixth-grade boys, and while there are a lot of sex jokes in the movie, the boys don't actually know anything about sex and they aren't very advanced sexually (the premise is that they're going to their first "kissing party" and don't know how to kiss). Iris reminded me of that when they were playing that game. Apparently she's had oral sex so she's not THAT inexperienced; she could have gone with that game a little more, and instead she was like "Ew!" (which ... I mean, if she's had mouth to genital contact, she doesn't really have a leg to stand on).

Keith will be fine. Iris has some growing up to do, I think.

I agree with you and the comparison to "Good Boys" is apt. It reminded me a lot of my friends and I WAAAAAYYYY back in the 90's. We may not have been accurate about the specifics of sex acts and accessories but, we did have sense and a sense of humor. Iris appeared to be missing those qualities even though her mom had them. The presentation of her mom and her guidance on the show made me wonder even more about what kind of trash messaging Iris must have grown up with from her dad and church family.

There is the idea that she used on "Unfiltered" that she was uncomfortable with sex stuff on camera because she works with children. But, in that case, don't volunteer for a reality show where you might want to engage in sex. Also, Deonna and Greg (and other couples previously) engaged in marital relations without being overexposed or subjecting themselves to professional embarrassment so, I find that rationalization less convincing than she thinks.

I do wish the producers had spent more time on Keith in the relationship though because he might really have some odd ways that we will never know because their entire storyboard for this couple was about virginity. With all do respect, if his grandmother had not passed away, he would be damn near a stranger. I bet we wouldn't even know how terrible Jamie is if he had been matched with Iris because the team would have spent the whole time obsessed with her virginity. 

Oh, and "Yes" to the person who said F-you to Pastor Cal. My husband and I both peeped the gaslighting job he attempted on Keith when they met privately in an earlier episode. We thought that episode was when Keith officially left the building and probably wasn't coming back mentally. It was terrible and honestly unethical if that man actually possesses any type of professional licensure. Then telling Iris how she is basically perfect during the hug in last night's episode, SMDH. 

[Liberty]

12 minutes ago, lizajane said:

She needs a grammar tutor as well.

There were several "aks" at the cookout too.  Grammar, pronunciation.....  Welcome to Charlotte.

[Ilovepie]

Wow, after reading all of the spoilers, I cannot believe I was actually surprised by anything in the show. Although Iris is a pill, I still felt sorry for her when Keith said no. Unlike those stupid "experts" though, I have no problem with Keith's decision. I honestly don't think it was the sex (or lack thereof) that was the problem, nor do I think it is, as Keith says, Iris' emotional maturity. I think it's just straight up personality conflict. I think it's her uptight, rigid, inflexible personality that was the root of the problem for him. Her virginity is just a part of her inability to relax and let go. And I don't want any of this nonsense of the show teasing them getting back together. Now that would be a shocker. I just don't see it happening in light of that interview she gave and how she talks about Keith on Unfiltered. STFU show. They are done.

I think Deonna and Greg will be fine. I don't think she is as bad as people make her seem, and I think they are truly compatible. Remember last season when everyone thought AJ and Steph would never last? Well, just look at Instagram. This show creates a storyline - it doesn't mean it's a completely true representation of these people. They are fine. And I think Greg and Deonna will join the true love ranks with Ash and Ant, Stay_J, Queen Kristine and Keith, Ricky Bobby and Brows......

I think Beth and Jamie are one big blowout away from Jamie taking his cat and leaving for good. I give it 6 months.

Matt, Matt, Matt. Not much else to add that hasn't already been said here. Top 3 asshole status for this show for sure, possibly number one. Chapter closed indeed. It's just too bad he closed the chapter while he was still spewing lies about having hope for his marriage. What a POS human being. I now wonder is the lack of family is not his doing and maybe they disowned him?

Random thoughts: The post decision bbq was weird. Weirder than the couples retreat. I think it's kind of sadistic for the show to push that on people, but I guess I shouldn't expect better from a production that matched Kate with Luke and Amber with Matt.....

Hey y'all, I hope Robot Viviana can get plugged in and recharged in time for next season which is apparently already underway! (God help us!)........maybe someone will find something for her to wear besides that pink ruffled monstrosity........and will upload a thesaurus for her brain to find something else to say besides y'all when addressing the couples......

[Elizzikra]

Quote

He is a liar...but the lies were motivated by not wanting to hurt or humiliate her on tv. What he does not understand is that by lying about his true feelings, he actually her more.

He likes her in a baby sister type way and not like a man likes a wife.

I don't think Keith lied. Iris is gorgeous and I think he was sexually attracted to her... but... she made clear that sex was not on the table and she could offer not even a sense of the timeline and/or requirements for when it would be on the table. I don't think she was ever even remotely physically affectionate with Keith. I don't think he wanted to be in a sexless marriage and I don't blame him. But I don't think their marriage was sexless because of any lack of attraction on Keith's part.

1 hour ago, MajorNelson said:

Ho ho!  See there was something behind pleasing Daddy, etc.

No pun intended?

Quote

I hope Robot Viviana can get plugged in and recharged in time for next season which is apparently already underway! 

I've read unconfirmed reports of filming currently in Arlington, VA, which is right outside DC.

Edited September 12, 2019 by Elizzikra

[Lily247]

2 hours ago, qtpye said:

That is probably why he never involved his family.

I think in our culture there is still a misogynistic mindset of women lose and men choose. If a man does not like a woman, it’s her fault for failing to keep him.

It is true Amber is clingy and Iris is annoying. However, even if they were perfect, those men, who have their own issues, will never want them. It is not the women’s fault.

Keith was never attracted to Iris. I think she never did it for him physically or emotionally. It was wrong of him to give her hope. In fact, Matt’s assholery was much more truthful.

I agree w all this. I also wish that Amber had waited a bit to gage Matt's interest level in Her before having sex with him and gushing abiut having his baby... . Deonna was smart in that she at least didnt jump into bed with Greg the minute they landed in Antigua or wherever. Because, after sex, women tend to get more attached (deonna is actually a bad example of this. I dont think she cares too much about sex). 

these women went on MAFS presumably because they have trouble with dating. 

[Neurochick]

1 hour ago, Lindz said:

UGH! & Keith continued misleading Iris!! GROSS!! Be HONEST & stop torturing her!! Do these mofos NOT understand treating someone the way they'd want to be treated??!! 😒

Jamie: Any hope for the future or do you think it's just done?

Keith: I don't know what the future holds, I w/couldn't count it out.

STOP BSING!! Again. CAN'T be direct to save his life! Got Iris all confused & in a daze from shock. TERRIBLE!

I don't get this, Iris and Amber are grown women, if they can't tell that a man is or isn't interested in them, maybe they shouldn't have come on a TV show looking for a husband.  Maybe they should take baby steps and just date.  

[cinsays]

16 hours ago, Brooklynista said:

Wait...Iris thinks KEITH is the one that needs to improve?🤦🏾‍♀️

I think this just shows that Iris is living in a fantasy world. She clearly does not see anything wrong with her behavior, thoughts, anything.

So glad Keith bailed on her - he deserves an adult who has warmth and a fun nature.

[SandyMac12]

15 hours ago, 2727 said:

That she went into the Decision Room thinking her marriage/relationship was good just indicates how little she understands adult interactions, or even romantic love.

I wish her well but don't have a lot of hope that she'll be able to break free of her arrested development when she doesn't even realize a problem exists. It's not about your virginity, Iris!

I get the impression that Iris has some deeper issue with sex – if it was really just about saving yourself until marriage, well, she was married to a kind, respectful, good-looking gentleman, so so who better for a first lover? We should all have been so lucky!

Every week, I was hoping she would finally give it a try… Keith was SUCH a gentleman, I think he was waiting for her to come out & say, “OK, I’m ready”, but that didn’t happen.  I kept rooting for them, saying, “C’mon, Keith, start w some sweet, slow goodnight kisses, gentle touching, see if you can loosen her up…” but it seems he was afraid to initiate, too… He TRIED to talk about it with her, but wouldn’t come right out & say it: No modern man is gonna commit to a marriage when he doesn’t know for sure they are sexually compatible. I think he was afraid if he communicated that, he’d be accused of being all about sex.  But he has every right to think that way, as sex IS part of marriage.

It did seem like they had chemistry, and Iris SAID she wanted to find intimacy, but since she never let Keith take the wheel in EIGHT WEEKS of marriage, maybe she has a deeper rooted fear for some reason – perhaps she was molested as a child, and maybe her parents don’t even know… there is definitely SOMETHING more going on with her… I hope she gets the help she needs… I wish them both the best.

[cinsays]

16 hours ago, spunky said:

Keith seems confused, he wants a divorce but he is still open to the possibility of something happening between them in the future. So why not stay married? I’m surprised that Jamie and Elizabeth decided to stay married.

My feeling is that he just said that to be kind to her, to let her feel that he did like her,  but he would not really be interested.  At least I hope I am right.

[Lindz]

8 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

I don't get this, Iris and Amber are grown women, if they can't tell that a man is or isn't interested in them, maybe they shouldn't have come on a TV show looking for a husband.  Maybe they should take baby steps and just date.  

WHY can't men be adults & just SAY IT & walk away?? They got married to avoid bs games & got the opposite. 😂 It's crazy having to navigate being mind-fvcked by your own SPOUSE! Lying & misleading & doing the opposite with their actions.. SMDH

[pdlinda]

17 hours ago, Ohwell said:

I'm sick of that stupid music.

OHHHH!  That canned DRAMATIC MUSIC drove me NUTS!!  I kept yelling:  ENOUGH!!

[ECM1231]

17 minutes ago, SandraB said:

I get the impression that Iris has some deeper issue with sex – if it was really just about saving yourself until marriage, well, she was married to a kind, respectful, good-looking gentleman, so so who better for a first lover? We should all have been so lucky!

Every week, I was hoping she would finally give it a try… Keith was SUCH a gentleman, I think he was waiting for her to come out & say, “OK, I’m ready”, but that didn’t happen.  I kept rooting for them, saying, “C’mon, Keith, start w some sweet, slow goodnight kisses, gentle touching, see if you can loosen her up…” but it seems he was afraid to initiate, too… He TRIED to talk about it with her, but wouldn’t come right out & say it: No modern man is gonna commit to a marriage when he doesn’t know for sure they are sexually compatible. I think he was afraid if he communicated that, he’d be accused of being all about sex.  But he has every right to think that way, as sex IS part of marriage.

It did seem like they had chemistry, and Iris SAID she wanted to find intimacy, but since she never let Keith take the wheel in EIGHT WEEKS of marriage, maybe she has a deeper rooted fear for some reason – perhaps she was molested as a child, and maybe her parents don’t even know… there is definitely SOMETHING more going on with her… I hope she gets the help she needs… I wish them both the best.

👏 👏 Very well-said.

[OnTime]

32 minutes ago, Liberty said:

47 minutes ago, lizajane said:

She needs a grammar tutor as well.

There were several "aks" at the cookout too.  Grammar, pronunciation.....  Welcome to Charlotte.

Oh, the grammar is terrible EVERY season.

Welcome to Married at First Sight!

[nutella fitzgerald]

18 hours ago, Ohwell said:

No surprise with Greg and Deonna.  I wonder if they've discussed finances since she's done that Optima Tax Relief commercial. 

Wait, I just realized...did anyone discuss finances this season? I don’t mean Amber offering up her $80k salary for Matt to spend on Sonic dates with other women, I’m thinking of the talks we saw in the past, like Bobby and Danielle with the spreadsheet, or Atlanta Ashley briefly considering thawing when David told her how much he makes a year.

[Lindz]

23 minutes ago, SandraB said:

Every week, I was hoping she would finally give it a try… Keith was SUCH a gentleman, I think he was waiting for her to come out & say, “OK, I’m ready”, but that didn’t happen. 

HOW?? Was she just supposed to wake up one day & decide it was time? All on her own? No help from him.. yeah, right. That's ridiculous! I mean, on Unfiltered, she said he never said he was attracted to her or complimented her. Physical intimacy takes TWO to build, but he left it all on her... WHAT'D he expect her to do?😒😒 He wanted her to fail, he's glad she didn't initiate sex. He couldn't handle the pressure of being her 1st.

[Ohwell]

7 minutes ago, nutella fitzgerald said:

Wait, I just realized...did anyone discuss finances this season? I don’t mean Amber offering up her $80k salary for Matt to spend on Sonic dates with other women, I’m thinking of the talks we saw in the past, like Bobby and Danielle with the spreadsheet, or Atlanta Ashley briefly considering thawing when David told her how much he makes a year.

I don't recall any discussions of finances this season.  That is, except for Amber and her "$80k" salary.

[After7Only]

3 hours ago, topanga said:

Thank you for putting the breaks on the Iris bashing. 

I agree with your entire post. Iris could be annoying, and she had serious sexual issues. But that's what they are--issues. I didn't see her ever using sex or her virginity as a bargaining tool with Keith. She was obviously into him and wanted to stay married to him. But I don't think Iris knows how to have a relationship. 

I think she's afraid to have sex, and she needs serious therapy to explore this. I'm surprised the "experts" never saw this--or never commented on it.

I do wonder if Keith realized this about Iris as well.  And he just wasn't interested in going on the journey with her to explore her intimacy/relationship issues.  I think he liked her and was attracted, but for him a marriage includes a healthy and open sexual relationship.   And he likely realized that while Iris may give up the virginity at some point, she may never be capable of that.  

Iris didn't look terribly shocked by Keith's decision to divorce.  Makes me think that he discussed or at least hinted to it beforehand.   Hopefully she got a better sense of why he wanted a divorce off camera.  

2 hours ago, Spectator said:

I’m very afraid that the difference in the sex drives between Deonna and Greg will become more of an issue as time passes. Lucky for Deonna, Greg is very committed and believes a higher power played a role in his match with Deonna. I think there’s very little that could have happened during the 8 weeks that would have driven Greg to ask for a divorce...I think he is one of the most committed participants to ever be on the show. But I just don’t envision having sex once every two months, if that’s what it ends up being, will cut it in the long run. Deonna’s theory that the infrequency will make it that much more mind blowing doesn’t hold true with most people. I don’t think they are compatible sexually, the same way Keith and iris weren’t. 

Greg made it clear on Unfiltered it was more than once and that he was very satisfied with their sex life.  Deonna and Greg were very careful of about their on camera image.  From their talking heads and conversations with their friends you could tell they had spent time talking and learning about each other.   But you didn't see too many of those conversations on camera.  

[Kdawg82]

All these sex issues and not wanting to have it or often enough or freaky enough?? Begs the question if these folks ever heard of tequila. Seriously. Not hammered - just a shot to loosen up. 

If I were Iris, I might exploit the situation and get some nice free massages from Keith to "put me in the mood" and if he sees it works, well, after work every day, you'd find me with lotions & potions on the bed waiting for my rubs lol.

[humbleopinion]

1 hour ago, Kdawg82 said:

Matt has as much personality as a white wall. There's seriously just nothing there.

On behalf of my fellow stable, sturdy, reliable white walls brethren  I have to disagree with being compared to that lying, cheating, lowdown dirty dog Matt.

White walls are not the life of the party, you might say we are wall flowers but we do not deserve to be lumped in with that horny dog Matt.

[Lindz]

REALLY JAMIE?? You regret NOTHING?? NONE of the VILE things you said to your WIFE?? Figures. Same for Elizabeth & her violent outburst. They are so messed up!!

[luvly]

7 hours ago, Neurochick said:

 I wouldn't be surprised if her family kept her that way, you'd be surprised at the shit people tell their daughters to keep them from running the streets.

I'm so glad you said this because it touches on something that's been rattling around in my brain for awhile re: Iris' seemingly level-headed mother. IIRC, Iris said her parents split when she was young, I want to say when she was around 4 years old. Parents generally try to keep their daughters from becoming sexually active too young, but in my experience single mothers (particularly black single mothers) place a lot of importance on making sure their daughters don't turn out "fast" and/or get knocked up as a teen. I can't tell you the number of HS friends I had whose single moms imposed all kinds of rules and regulations designed to keep them virgins: no boy/girl parties, no sleepovers if the friend has brothers, group dates only until they're 18, meeting the boy's parents before they were officially allowed to date, dating privileges revoked if their GPA fell below 3.0 (regardless of the reason), only talking to him on the landline in full view of everyone (it was the late 90s/early 00s), can't ride alone in a car with a boy, can only see PG movies together in the theater (ticket stub proof required) and leaning on religious purity culture even if they weren't necessarily all that religious themselves.

In the long run, they mostly ended up with daughters who (a) became secretive and/or fantastic liars, (b) went wild to the nth degree when they went off to college, (c) had difficulty forming and sustaining adult romantic relationships or (d) some combination of all 3.  This is all speculative of course, but being a little bit older than Iris, I've seen this "virgin by any means necessary" dynamic play out amongst my peers so many times, with no thought given to the long-ranging effects, that I would not be surprised if that's what happened with her.

[Tatortot]

How dare Matt take a spot that someone else could have had, and iris was right at the cookout about this harming her in upcoming relationships.   An apology and an explanation would have went a long way in giving her some type of closure.

Than again Pastor Cal should have put an end to it when he knew Matt was out w/o his ring.  To me, he was just as guilty with this relationship issue.

[Empress1]

13 minutes ago, nutella fitzgerald said:

Wait, I just realized...did anyone discuss finances this season? I don’t mean Amber offering up her $80k salary for Matt to spend on Sonic dates with other women, I’m thinking of the talks we saw in the past, like Bobby and Danielle with the spreadsheet, or Atlanta Ashley briefly considering thawing when David told her how much he makes a year.

No. It seems like they've done away with those talks when they did away with having them find and pay for their own housing, which is unfortunate - IMO that was the only thing that made these seem like real relationships.  They didn't do it in Philly either.

13 minutes ago, Lindz said:

HOW?? Was she just supposed to wake up one day & decide it was time? All on her own?

Sure. Why not? Isn't that what we do? We start seeing people, we decide when we're ready to sleep with them and we broach the subject, either by fooling around and letting it happen or just saying straight up that we're ready. There was nothing stopping Iris from using her words and telling Keith "I'm ready to have sex" (assuming she was ready, which she wasn't).

[Jeanne222]

Iris needs a gay, guy friend.  They are the best!  They would not want to sex her and they are surely the most interesting in most things.

I do have to agree with the poster that said maybe Iris had some kind of 'episode' when she was younger that nobody knows about?  Molested?  She has always seemed to have an eating disorder she's stick thin.

Keith was a gentleman to the very end with her.  I bet the ladies are waiting in line for a bite of that man.  He better stock up on the condoms.  lol

Matt is a POS just as most of us surmised from what they let us see.  How did anybody ever chose him for this show?  Amber should sue.

I'm surprised Elizabeth chose to stay with Jamie.  I could not be married to a man that wanted sex several times a day.  To me that is a sickness that needs attention like Tiger Woods had to get.  Lovemaking is beautiful to most married couples.  Constant wanting..not so much.

Deonna and Gregg..what can I say.  I think they found their happily ever after.

[Lily247]

Looking at the final couples' get togethet, I was embarrassed at how the ladies attacked Matt like a bunch of vultures. Regardless of how bad of a husband he was. I thought him saying nothing or his noncommital responses followed by leaving with his beer was a classier approach than duking it out with them. 

[SandyMac12]

11 minutes ago, Lindz said:

HOW?? Was she just supposed to wake up one day & decide it was time? All on her own? No help from him.. yeah, right. That's ridiculous! I mean, on Unfiltered, she said he never said he was attracted to her or complimented her. Physical intimacy takes TWO to build, but he left it all on her... WHAT'D he expect her to do?😒😒 He wanted her to fail, he's glad she didn't initiate sex. He couldn't handle the pressure of being her 1st.

 You took one sentence out of context.  I didn't say no help from him, I said exactly HOW! Yes, it takes two - ONE of them has to initiate.  He gave her plenty of space & time; when it was clear she wasn't even talking about it, HE should have tried.  And yes - I would think an adult virgin woman who MARRIES a man SHOULD be able to decide, one day, that, YES - it's time I found out what it's all about. I'm curious, at least. She didn't have to start with full-on wild sex, but, man, let's get some intimacy going.  She would barely kiss him goodnight!!  I believe I remember him saying in the beginning that he WAS attracted to her, thought she was beautiful.  I don't think he wanted her to fail at all - they were never able to fully open up to each other on the subject.

[OnTime]

21 minutes ago, Ohwell said:

  26 minutes ago, nutella fitzgerald said:

Wait, I just realized...did anyone discuss finances this season? I don’t mean Amber offering up her $80k salary for Matt to spend on Sonic dates with other women, I’m thinking of the talks we saw in the past, like Bobby and Danielle with the spreadsheet, or Atlanta Ashley briefly considering thawing when David told her how much he makes a year.

Seems like finances took a back seat this season to the slow motion scenes, enhanced drama, hidden cameras and Iris.

Did they even talk about finances on the Philly season? It is probably off the agenda now.

[karenbrady]

18 hours ago, Brooklynista said:

Damn! Amber was water cooler fodder in the teacher's lounge. Shameful shit. 

I just LAUGHED SO LOUD. 

[Lindz]

Elizabeth said she'd be really, really crazy if she didn't stay with him. 😯😂 No, boo. Quite the OPPOSITE!!

[karenbrady]

18 hours ago, Brooklynista said:

Damn! Amber was water cooler fodder in the teacher's lounge. Shameful shit. 

I just LAUGHED SO LOUD. 

18 hours ago, Brooklynista said:

Damn! Amber was water cooler fodder in the teacher's lounge. Shameful shit. 

I just LAUGHED SO LOUD. 

18 hours ago, Brooklynista said:

Damn! Amber was water cooler fodder in the teacher's lounge. Shameful shit. 

I just LAUGHED SO LOUD. 

18 hours ago, Brooklynista said:

Damn! Amber was water cooler fodder in the teacher's lounge. Shameful shit. 

I just LAUGHED SO LOUD. 

18 hours ago, Brooklynista said:

Damn! Amber was water cooler fodder in the teacher's lounge. Shameful shit. 

I just LAUGHED SO LOUD. 

18 hours ago, Brooklynista said:

Damn! Amber was water cooler fodder in the teacher's lounge. Shameful shit. 

I just LAUGHED SO LOUD. 

18 hours ago, Brooklynista said:

Damn! Amber was water cooler fodder in the teacher's lounge. Shameful shit. 

I just LAUGHED SO LOUD. 

[MajorNelson]

26 minutes ago, Tatortot said:

and iris was right at the cookout about this harming her in upcoming relationships. 

Now here's where I thought Iris was all wrong for saying that.  Amber had a little upswing in ego strength from standing up to Matt and for saying the "No."  I think she learned a lot about self-worth, boundaries standing up for herself...though it took a while  (just at the end).

To me, more Iris is projecting saying Amber will feel like she is damaged goods.

[Lindz]

10 minutes ago, SandraB said:

 You took one sentence out of context.  I didn't say no help from him, I said exactly HOW! Yes, it takes two - ONE of them has to initiate.  He gave her plenty of space & time; when it was clear she wasn't even talking about it, HE should have tried.  And yes - I would think an adult virgin woman who MARRIES a man SHOULD be able to decide, one day, that, YES - it's time I found out what it's all about. I'm curious, at least. She didn't have to start with full-on wild sex, but, man, let's get some intimacy going.  She would barely kiss him goodnight!!  I believe I remember him saying in the beginning that he WAS attracted to her, thought she was beautiful.  I don't think he wanted her to fail at all - they were never able to fully open up to each other on the subject.

It's like we agree & disagree. I think he shouldn't have given her space & time & left it all up to her. They should've been more normal, where physical is mutual & natural. Showing & expressing their attraction, CONSTANTLY. I understand, he's concerned he'd make her uncomfortable, but like NO touching, affection, compliments, NOTHING to warm her up?!! That was something for THEM to figure out! It seems unnatural to pick a day. I'd think it'd just happen after connecting physically & deciding to go all the way. 😂 If it is a "day" case, it's prolly the wedding night.... to someone she KNOWS. It's prolly something she hopes is a meaningful experience, an expression of love, NOT a "curious, let's see how this goes" thing. 😂 They both failed. But she was trying & he wasn't.

[Kareem]

Says there’s a “new” show on at 10:38 tonite called “First Look - Finale Reunion”, A preview of the next new episode.  

Anyone know what that’s about?  Or is it the last minutes of last night’s bbq?  

Edited September 12, 2019 by Kareem

[Brooklynista]

16 minutes ago, MajorNelson said:

Now here's where I thought Iris was all wrong for saying that.  Amber had a little upswing in ego strength from standing up to Matt and for saying the "No."  I think she learned a lot about self-worth, boundaries standing up for herself...though it took a while  (just at the end).

To me, more Iris is projecting saying Amber will feel like she is damaged goods.

I had to rewind that part 2x because I really felt Iris was talking about Iris. 

[Hangin Out]

6 hours ago, OnTime said:

Why do they call it "The Forever Decision"?

Does anyone really Greg/Deonna and Jamie/Eliz will be together forever?

Hell NO !

[Empress1]

20 minutes ago, MajorNelson said:

Now here's where I thought Iris was all wrong for saying that.  Amber had a little upswing in ego strength from standing up to Matt and for saying the "No."  I think she learned a lot about self-worth, boundaries standing up for herself...though it took a while  (just at the end).

To me, more Iris is projecting saying Amber will feel like she is damaged goods.

I didn't like that either. "You've permanently fucked her up!" I mean, first of all, let's be real: Amber was already bringing issues into her relationships. She's really needy and is afraid of being abandoned. Matt didn't do that, though he certainly didn't help.

Second, Amber is perfectly capable of shaking this off and going on to have a healthy relationship in which she is pursued and desired. She may need some therapy to get there, but hell, we all need (or at least could benefit from) therapy. Iris was acting like Amber was permanently ruined for future relationships, and that doesn't have to be true.

[becauseIsaidso]

17 hours ago, antfitz said:

One question to the people on here:  Would any of you ever date mat?  He seemed dull and boring and disinterested.  He's also tall and geeky looking...not that all tell men look that way.  He wears the ball cap backwards and sideways like some 16 year old from the streets. It looks ridiculous.

I, too, am pushing 70 (January  to be almost exact) and I would never have dated him because he set off my creep alarm from the wedding episode on, so I imagine it would kick in just as quickly in person. Tall and geeky looking has never bothered me, but his affect was always way off and his immediate disconnect would have sealed the deal. If a guy checks out mid-conversation, I lose all interest in getting to know anything more about him. Somebody aught to be sued for allowing someone like him on the show, especially knowing there is a good likelihood that at least a quarter of the participants are hanging their hopes on getting a good spouse. This was just plain negligent. But I'm sure TPTB have their legal butts covered in the contract participants have to sign. Sucks.

[Lindz]

10 minutes ago, MajorNelson said:

Now here's where I thought Iris was all wrong for saying that.  Amber had a little upswing in ego strength from standing up to Matt and for saying the "No."  I think she learned a lot about self-worth, boundaries standing up for herself...though it took a while  (just at the end).

To me, more Iris is projecting saying Amber will feel like she is damaged goods.

Most of them tend to say about others what applies to them.... TELL ME THEY KNOW THAT!! Furthermore, they can't confront or call out their own spouse, but confronts another's. Funny. Amber mustered all her strength, but she's still needy, as evidenced with the Polaroids. She's still confused & broken by what happened & Mr. Closed Chapter won't tell her ANYTHING but BS. She is very damaged by him. I think most participants stay in bad marriages to complete the experiment, no matter the personal cost. It's quite tragic. The point of being MAFS is that you don't walk away when it gets difficult/they encounter something they dislike, like in normal, dating situations. The tragedy is some do quit, but fake it or try & suffer to the end, feeling stuck. It has the opposite desired outcome. 

[topanga]

12 minutes ago, Lindz said:

It's like we agree & disagree. I think he shouldn't have given her space & time & left it all up to her. They should've been more normal, where physical is mutual & natural. Showing & expressing their attraction, CONSTANTLY. I understand, he's concerned he'd make her uncomfortable, but like NO touching, affection, compliments, NOTHING to warm her up?!! That was something for THEM to figure out! It seems unnatural to pick a day. I'd think it'd just happen after connecting physically & deciding to go all the way. 😂 If it is a "day" case, it's prolly the wedding night.... to someone she KNOWS. It's prolly something she hopes is a meaningful experience, an expression of love, NOT a "curious, let's see how this goes" thing. 😂 They both failed. But she was trying & he wasn't.

This.

Let's say you're a 20-something year old sexually active man, and you're dating a 19-20 year old female virgin--or maybe she's 27!-- who was skittish about sex and seemed afraid of sex. You wouldn't automatically think of her as a frigid bitch who wielded her virginity like a weapon, nor would you sit back and wait for her to turn into a porn star and seduce YOU. If you liked her and were attracted to her, you'd go on dates and slow dance together, kiss a little, pet a little, grind a little, and sometimes remove some clothing--all while reassuring her that you liked her a person and that you weren't just trying to get into her pants. You'd even talk about sex sometimes--what she thought about it, how far she'd gone in the past, what your own sexual experiences were like. Eventually, when she felt comfortable, she'd learn to trust you and would spread those legs wide. 

I just didn't see Keith doing any of that. Greg did many of those things to try to get Deonna to open up to him, but Keith did not. 

Maybe after Condomgate, he decided Iris wasn't worth all of that effort. Which is his prerogative. But he should've stopped leading her on and stopped making her think he was still committed to the marriage.  

[Auntie]

Wow, Matt is as big a loser at basketball as he is in a relationship...

Check this out:  "He played in the LNBP for the Mineros de Zacatecas from 2017-2018 and his last season was from 2018-2019 with the Libertadores de Queretaro where he averaged 1.53 points in 15 games."

Woohoo, you go Matt. A whole 1.5 points. Stellar!

[Lindz]

You know Matt pulled a Luke/d*ck move by lying, disrespecting, treating her like crap to FORCE her to divorce him. So LOW. So UNNECESSARY. The WORST! Isn't it more effort bsing & being a shitty sack of trash?? I hope. 😅 Can't wait to NEVER see that DISGUSTING hairy lip EVER AGAIN!! Makes me wanna puke just thinking about it!!

[Auntie]

13 minutes ago, Silver Bells said:

6 hours ago, OnTime said:

Why do they call it "The Forever Decision"?

Does anyone really Greg/Deonna and Jamie/Eliz will be together forever?

Hell NO !

Only until Deonna runs out of doggie treats...