S03.E11: Secret, Secret, I've Got a Secret

[HorrrGoodnight]

7 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Rebecca would look 100 times better if she'd lay off the goth makeup and dressed less like a 19 year old whose friends all ride Harleys and whose favorite song is "Bad to the Bone"

 😅😂🤣💀👻

And then I resurrected and couldn't stop singing "B-b-b-b-bad" 

Edited September 10, 2019 by SlutAssBitchAssHor
Needed an extra b

[Honey]

3 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

She also looks like Janice... Chandler's gf from Friends...a drunkened Janice with slurred speech from booze and lip filler.....and boob implants that sit a little too low....

Do your boobs hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie 'em in a knot?
Can you tie 'em in a bow?...........

Sorry, in an odd mood tonight.  🙂

When Akinyi and Ben arrived at her parent's home, as soon as they walked through the door, she said to Ben "you've met Fidel" or something like that, so Ben walked over to shake his hand, and get a seat next to him.  If the Mother was the most important person there, then she should have addressed her Mother FIRST. Then she says in her TH that he was being rude.  Bitch, he was following your lead.  She also should have told him to bring a gift, she knew they'd be going there.  She could also have had the car stop on the ride from the airport, so Ben could get a gift for her Brother.  She knew he wouldn't have one, since staying at her Brother's was a complete surprise to him.  She's doing nothing to actually help him, and if I were him I would be a bit pissed about it.

[magemaud]

1 hour ago, MajorNelson said:

I know what was up with Tim.  He had anxiety sitting there alone with her grandparents and unable to converse.  Instead of barking like he did, he could have asked if she'd be back soon, or better...if she could translate from ther

You’d think that in his five trips to Colombia he might have picked up a little conversational Spanish, at least a few words to exchange pleasantries with Jeniffer’s grandparents. And it wasn’t like she wasn’t within earshot and couldn’t translate, she was probably ten feet away.  

[Mrs. Hanson]

5 hours ago, SadeO said:

What do you think would happen to him? 

Unfortunately I couldn't catch it on TV, and saw some clips on Youtube and of course uncultured trash in the comments think that Akyni and her family want the geeks money or expected him to bring gifts....typical racial stereotypes.

I am not defending anyone nor am I looking for conflict, but.....if Akini and family were white and living object poverty and so controlling towards Ben I would have the same thoughts, but that is just me.  Making him stay at Fidel's house while Fidel Alpha Male's him: "You need me" in almost a snarly voice made me uncomfortable.  Then badgering him to eat the brains of a fish.  No guest should have to eat the brains of anything if they choose not to.  Akini only said to eat most of the food, she never zeroed in on the brains.  No one got up to greet him, heck they barely smiled at him, knowing he had to be terribly nervous.  I don't think Akini's family expected gifts, but Ben could have/should have thought of flowers, a food gift, heck a scented candle....something!

6 minutes ago, JunkFoodTV said:

I was really disappointed that Tim secret was a former girlfriend and NOT that he use to be a woman.

A former Colombian girlfriend?  Big whoop!  Like who cares?  When he said he had been to Columbia five times I was like Oh yay he was a drug dealer!!  Go Tim Tim!  But Tim Tim, next time you go to someone's house and GF is prepping food, get up to help and serve - you will come off much better!!!!

Edited September 10, 2019 by Mrs. Hanson

[humbleopinion]

So Tiny Tim has a type.....color me shocked....

[Adeejay]

6 hours ago, SadeO said:

What do you think would happen to him? 

Unfortunately I couldn't catch it on TV, and saw some clips on Youtube and of course uncultured trash in the comments think that Akyni and her family want the geeks money or expected him to bring gifts....typical racial stereotypes.

When you go across the world to meet your girlfriends family and stay in their home, your ass should be bringing a gift, even if it's flowers, some food etc....as a thank you for your hospitality, nice to meet you gift.

Perhaps if you'd seen the whole program instead of "some clips", you would know that Benjamin didn't go to Africa with the intention of staying with Akini's family.  He rented an Air B n B, but was told he had to stay with her brother so that he could keep an eye on him. However, I agree that he should have brought some gifts.  Nothing extravagant; some scarves and perfumes would have been nice.

[Honey]

3 hours ago, Mothra said:

Amen to all of this.  Benjamin's parents did not do a very good job raising him if at his age he has such poor manners.  Many of his faux pas would be rude in the US--like not acknowledging the oldest person in the room or (as far as we were shown) not complimenting Akink's family on the dinner--and most of the other things he had been warned about by Akink.

She told him that the food would be special and very expensive for her family, and that it was important to eat all that was served to him.  Even if he gagged on the fish brains, he could have saved himself by saying, "Let me try this part" and then yum-yuming it up.  He is not a little kid.  He is able to choke food down and pretend that it is delicious, especially since he knows it is important to his being able to marry his girlfriend.

And why in hell didn't he say to Fidel, "I want to go out and buy a gift for your parents for when we go to dinner at their house?"

These are apparently poor people who are welcoming him with the best they have, and he is showing absolutely no gratitude or appreciation of their generosity or the beauty of their culture.

And you're right--he should have learned a few words, enough to say "hello" and "please" and "thank you."  In addition to being the courteous thing to do, it would have pleased Fidel to no end to be asked to help him in this way.

I don't care a whit about his body hair; I care about his rudeness and stupidity.

Oh yeah: and when Fidel told him about how his divorce would be seen, Benjamin could have pointed out that in the US he was responsible for taking care of his ex-wife until she married someone else, and responsible for his son until he reached adulthood.  So much for not having his house in order.

I completely disagree here.  I don't think her family is doing anything to make him feel welcome.  From her Brother insisting on "keeping an eye on him", and telling him in his best alpha male voice "you need me, you need me a lot", to her Father totally blowing him off during the family dinner.  When welcoming someone from another culture, it's polite to offer them something to eat that they're familiar with.  Not some disgusting piece of fish that's staring at you while they pull the head off.  You have to listen to her Brother commenting on the brains being soft, then they expect you to take a big bite.  They're doing nothing to put him at ease, or he wouldn't be so incredibly nervous.  When he arrived at Fidel's house, after introductions, he should have immediately been shown to his room, and given a chance to rest and clean up, after so many hours of travelling.  I think he's been very polite, given the circumstances.  The one thing he did wrong was not bringing a gift for Akinyi.

[TwirlyGirly]

2 hours ago, jennylauren123 said:

I looked it up, too!

From what I understand, a dowry goes from the bride's family to the husband's family. Money going from the husband's family to the wife's family is referred to as a "bride price" or "bride service."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dowry

There's one right above this text box as I type this. Drives me crazy! (Even though I am considered a "mature" woman...)

Not in Islam. The problem is there is no comparable word in English to the Arabic word "mahr". A mahr is required by Sharia Law and it is paid by the groom directly to the bride:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mahr

Omar used the word "dowry" because of the translation issue, not because the mahr is a dowry.

[Kangatush]

22 hours ago, Hannah94 said:

I thought Omar had to pay the dowry to Avery's family, but I might have misunderstood it. I just don't get the logic behind dowries. It seems so archaic to me.

There are two different things that this show calls a dowry.  A real dowry is something that goes from the bride's side to the groom's.  Think old British, marry my daughter, get some land sort of deal. 

A bride price is something that goes from the groom's side to the bride's, like Penguin and his water buffalo.  Benjamin is the only one ever to use the correct phrase.  He will (maybe) be asked to pay a bride price to Akinyi's family for the honor of marrying their daughter.

Omar said dowry, but was really talking about a bride price.  And Terri did something smart for once by saying she'll ask for what his sister got.  He can't claim that's unfair, and it really does seem that his system is, unsurprisingly, set up in a wildly unfair way against the woman.

[Kangatush]

9 hours ago, jumper sage said:

Good catch!

Omar is a dental student.  He is qualified as a general dentist and is going for a specialized degree in periodontics.  So while he is technically a dentist, he's not practicing, and earning money, since he's also a student.

[Mrs. Hanson]

1 hour ago, Honey said:

I don't think her family is doing anything to make him feel welcome.  From her Brother insisting on "keeping an eye on him", and telling him in his best alpha male voice "you need me, you need me a lot", to her Father totally blowing him off during the family dinner.  When welcoming someone from another culture, it's polite to offer them something to eat that they're familiar with. 

I agree - that whole scene made me cringe as I was brought up in a family that could have, would have, and DID take in anyone, anytime for dinner and made them feel 100% at ease.  Lots of welcoming handshakes, perhaps a kiss on the cheek, plenty of food and drink.  So to see admittedly awkward Ben walk into that family......it made me feel sorry for his hairy back. and made me want to yell at the tv:  "Go back to that sweet son in Phoenix!!!  NOW!!!"  They should have been kissing his ass for taking her out of poverty to a place with, oh I don't know, paved streets and running water.

[Kangatush]

No joke, when I first saw the scene of Darcy getting dressed I thought they were going to a costume party. 

Maybe it's because I already know what he looks like, but I find Zied's voice incredibly creepy.  Whether in Arabic, French, or English, when he speaks I feel like he's some greasy guy trying to lure me into an alley.

Ceasar's story is crap.  When you are that poor, like I am, you watch your bank account like a hawk.  No way he wouldn't have known that the ticket fee was never paid.

I feel for Benjamin.  He's just a naïve soul, trying to do his best.  Fidel is a bit of a bully.  If Benjamin had kept his marriage together, he wouldn't be courting Akinyi, so it seems weird to focus on it.

I do love the come eat our weird local cuisine scene.  Angela may have had it worst with the snails she literally spit out into Michael's mouth.  Larry didn't know how good he had it with the roast pig.  I had a chance to see my first spit roasted pig a few weeks ago, and it was delicious.

[magemaud]

I usually watch next week’s preview episode On Demand after “The Other Way.” But I’m not seeing it listed on my television lineup. Does that mean it’s not going to be released early? 

[DaphneCat]

40 minutes ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

I agree - that whole scene made me cringe as I was brought up in a family that could have, would have, and DID take in anyone, anytime for dinner and made them feel 100% at ease.  Lots of welcoming handshakes, perhaps a kiss on the cheek, plenty of food and drink.  So to see admittedly awkward Ben walk into that family......it made me feel sorry for his hairy back. and made me want to yell at the tv:  "Go back to that sweet son in Phoenix!!!  NOW!!!" 

Yes, I used to tell people that a complete stranger could walk in to my mother's house and as long as they went right to the refrigerator and started looking for food she would assume she knew them.  She once had 5 extra people show up for dinner and still had leftovers (and it wasn't a special occasion or party, just dinner with a few extra people coming over - who all brought extra people - hence the 5 more than she planned on.)  

2 hours ago, Honey said:

When Akinyi and Ben arrived at her parent's home, as soon as they walked through the door, she said to Ben "you've met Fidel" or something like that, so Ben walked over to shake his hand, and get a seat next to him.  If the Mother was the most important person there, then she should have addressed her Mother FIRST. Then she says in her TH that he was being rude.  Bitch, he was following your lead.  She also should have told him to bring a gift, she knew they'd be going there.  She could also have had the car stop on the ride from the airport, so Ben could get a gift for her Brother.  She knew he wouldn't have one, since staying at her Brother's was a complete surprise to him.  She's doing nothing to actually help him, and if I were him I would be a bit pissed about it.

Yes, especially after their skype conversation when she was talking about taking off his shoes.  Shouldn't she have at least made sure he knew what was expected.  When I first went to visit Mr. Cat's parents, he made sure to tell me that there were certain things that I could get away with in the country because I was a tourist but no native would do them.  Not because he wanted to control what I did but because he wanted me to have as much information as possible so I could decide what would make me the most comfortable.

[Brooklynista]

2 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

So Tiny Tim has a type.....color me shocked....

Tim could learn a thing or two from Sumit about secrets.

[Mrs. Hanson]

15 minutes ago, DaphneCat said:

Yes, I used to tell people that a complete stranger could walk in to my mother's house and as long as they went right to the refrigerator and started looking for food she would assume she knew them.  She once had 5 extra people show up for dinner and still had leftovers (and it wasn't a special occasion or party, just dinner with a few extra people coming over - who all brought extra people - hence the 5 more than she planned on.)  

Yes, especially after their skype conversation when she was talking about taking off his shoes.  Shouldn't she have at least made sure he knew what was expected.  When I first went to visit Mr. Cat's parents, he made sure to tell me that there were certain things that I could get away with in the country because I was a tourist but no native would do them.  Not because he wanted to control what I did but because he wanted me to have as much information as possible so I could decide what would make me the most comfortable.

Yes, had my brother (who was older) shown up with two college friends for dinner, and our dad would have looked at my sister and me (number 2 and 3) and said:  "You two are eating leftovers, your brother's friends are eating your steaks......"  we would have not blinked.

[beesknees]

7 hours ago, Bryce Lynch said:

Can you imagine if Ben brought Akini to Arizona and:

1) At the last minute told her that she would not be staying at the Airbnb that she had reserved, but with his sister's craphole of a home.

2) Was told that his sister would be keeping an eye on her for the week and that she needed to win over his sister to get his parents to approve of the marriage.

3) Told her that his parents would be demanding a groom price to marry him.

4)  Ben kept telling her that no other black person had ever been in his neighborhood and that they should only go walking at night.

5) Ben told her that his father would probably chase her away with a machete is she made some sort of faux pas when they met. 

6) Ben's sister browbeat her and told her than in American culture a wife needs to get her house in order.  

7) Ben's family deliberately fed her food they knew she would probably find disgusting as some sort of hazing ritual.  

8 )  Ben's father didn't show up for their much anticipated introduction dinner.

9) Ben left the meal after his sister said something to him about Akini and he refused to tell Akini what it was.

Say what you want about Americans, but as a culture, we generally bend over backwards to make our guests feel welcome and comfortable.  Everyone I know would go out of their way to prepare food the guest from a different culture liked, and if they didn't like what was served they would try to find something they did like to eat.  

I really hated the way Akini's family treated Ben.  I cosign on everything the OP said except that it would have been nice if Ben brought a few gifts to the house.  Having said that, Ben must have been suffering from terrible jet lag and the fact that Akini sprung stuff on Ben last minute that instead of the Air bnb he paid for and rented, he was now being forced to stay at the brother's house.  I think getting that info last minute would rattle anyone.

[RealReality]

Fidel needs Chapstick.  

Ben must be super sprung on akyini because I know someone is in the other room going through his wallet.  Sorry, maybe Fidel is a lovely guy, but he comes off very very smarmy. 

I expect it's really all going to be a negotiation and I think these 10,000 rules of etiquette that Ben is expected to follow are a set up to make him think that paying an outrageous bride price is a thing.  I don't see how anyone there is getting married because their area doesn't look wealthy at all.  

I think Ben should call their bluff, get a cab, rebook his flight and head home.  I'd give it a solid two weeks before akyini was telling him that Fidel had changed his mind and told baba to show up for dinner.  

[RealReality]

8 hours ago, Bryce Lynch said:

Can you imagine if Ben brought Akini to Arizona and:

1) At the last minute told her that she would not be staying at the Airbnb that she had reserved, but with his sister's craphole of a home.

2) Was told that his sister would be keeping an eye on her for the week and that she needed to win over his sister to get his parents to approve of the marriage.

3) Told her that his parents would be demanding a groom price to marry him.

4)  Ben kept telling her that no other black person had ever been in his neighborhood and that they should only go walking at night.

5) Ben told her that his father would probably chase her away with a machete is she made some sort of faux pas when they met. 

6) Ben's sister browbeat her and told her than in American culture a wife needs to get her house in order.  

7) Ben's family deliberately fed her food they knew she would probably find disgusting as some sort of hazing ritual.  

8 )  Ben's father didn't show up for their much anticipated introduction dinner.

9) Ben left the meal after his sister said something to him about Akini and he refused to tell Akini what it was.

Say what you want about Americans, but as a culture, we generally bend over backwards to make our guests feel welcome and comfortable.  Everyone I know would go out of their way to prepare food the guest from a different culture liked, and if they didn't like what was served they would try to find something they did like to eat.  

That was straight up scary because Ben is staying in that man's house.  He doesn't know if whatever comment he made to akiyini could have been construed as something Fidel was mad about and would confront him on later. 

She should just marry a man from her village who knows the 50 billion rules of etiquette like you have to drag over some American doodad because paying for an expensive plane ticket and lodging isn't enough......and you have to sit to the left of the brother (thank goodness the seat was open).  But apparently the rules of etiquette don't extend to dad bothering to show up to dinner.  I guess he doesn't have any etiquette expectations.  

I think they were fucking with him by sitting around eyeballing him as he ate fish brains.  It didn't at all seem like something warm welcoming and special.  When Nicole went to azans aunt's house and she wanted Nicole to eat sheep brain you could tell that it was done with pride and kindness.  I didn't get that vibe at all.

Sorry for akyini but she isn't super attractive, she has pretty skin and an eye for makeup but this is probably her only chance to leave if she wants to leave.  If she doesn't she should just meet a local man. 

[Frozendiva]

8 hours ago, magemaud said:

In addition to dentists, I get ads for lipstick for “mature women.” 

But what I came here to say is, while I don’t believe any of this storyline is true, could Caesar’s ticket purchase for Maria been declined because he doesn’t know the necessary information to purchase it (name, address, passport #, etc.)? 

My ads are Stuart Weitzman boots and the Air Canada seat sale and some sort of US insurance company,

[RealReality]

10 hours ago, KateHearts said:

I can appreciate Tim's being respectful of Jeniffer and not attempting sex the first night; however he seems actually scared of her- watch how he avoids eye contact and keeps a distance. And who cares about the old girlfriend? If it's over, it doesn't matter. Most people over the age of 25 have some sort of romantic past.

I get what jenniffer is saying but there are so many gray areas these days that I can understand him holding back for a multitude of reasons.

Jeniffer wants a guy who is assertive to the point of aggressive.  Tim isn't that guy, she isn't going to make him that guy.  I think she is escalating her behavior hoping to get him to be that guy. 

10 hours ago, magemaud said:

Poor Mah-Kuhl.  He’s not allowed to work and he’s not allowed to hang out with his friends or be anywhere that he might encounter “wimmen.” So what DOES he do all day when Ange is thousands of miles away? 

That woman in the boat picture was.on the other side of the boat!  FFS!! 

10 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Attention potential suitors going overseas to meet their online soulmates...and of course your love bucket is to help you pick what is appropriate for her family member...

Bring bouquets of flowers, scarves, perfumed lotions to the older female family members...a big hit is vitamins manufactured in the US...think Costco sized bottles of Multivitamins...

Bring Special local sweets or special fruit, high class booze, or fancy cigarettes to the male  heads of family...

Bring name brand stuff like  Nike caps, NBA t shirts for boys, cute purses, makeup for the female teens...or cash is good....

 You must bring gifts...it shows a thoughtfulness and a thanks in advance for their hospitality...you want them to like you and  bribes are always welcome....

Never go empty handed...it is rude...Ben is blowing his chances with Akinky by stiffing the brother but especially the mother....that is unforgivable....

Can't tell if you're being sarcastic?

10 hours ago, SadeO said:

What do you think would happen to him? 

Unfortunately I couldn't catch it on TV, and saw some clips on Youtube and of course uncultured trash in the comments think that Akyni and her family want the geeks money or expected him to bring gifts....typical racial stereotypes.

When you go across the world to meet your girlfriends family and stay in their home, your ass should be bringing a gift, even if it's flowers, some food etc....as a thank you for your hospitality, nice to meet you gift.

You can tell some people have never been anywhere or know anyone from outside of their country. Its basic manners.

The racist just jumps out of people when they see a Black woman on TV. I'm personally mad that Akyni is stuck with a man that eats twinkies. She's a whole fool. Also acting like shes never seen a white person before...lmao...

I'm black and Fidel gives me the full heebie jeebies.  I think Ben would be missing at least one organ and all his money if there wasn't a camera crew there. 

Ben didn't have time to know that he would be experiencing Fidel's "hospitality" because he wasn't told he was going to be staying there until he was in the cab heading to what he thought was his Airbnb.  

I have met family of s/o before and I generally don't bring a gift.  I don't know them and I think it's kinda presumptious and pandering.  I can't be bought with gifts and I would assume that if someone did that that they were trying to butter me up.....which I wouldn't like. 

[Hannah94]

1 hour ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

Yes, had my brother (who was older) shown up with two college friends for dinner, and our dad would have looked at my sister and me (number 2 and 3) and said:  "You two are eating leftovers, your brother's friends are eating your steaks......"  we would have not blinked.

This reminds me of a time in high school. I was good friends with a girl that was a bit overweight, nothing extreme, just big a little bit. I was built like a ten year old at that time, maybe weighed 90 lbs. (Sigh, miss those days) She had one sibling, an older, tall, skinny brother. Her parents were Snobby McSnobsters. She invited me over for dinner and they made these sandwiches, hot ham and cheese or something. They cut one in half and gave my friend one half and gave me the other half. They gave two full sandwiches to her brother and the parents each ate one full sandwich. To this day, I cannot believe how rude that was - not just to me but to my friend. People are rude assholes sometimes.

As far as the Ben dinner scene, no way in hell would I expect someone from another country to gladly inhale fish brains, even if it was something I enjoyed eating.  

[RealReality]

13 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Tim's female friends...I am giving the side eye to, maybe it's just me but they seemed a tad trans and that one with the lipstick? WTF? Total drag queen make up.

I'm so happy I wasn't the only one thinking that!  I only got that vibe from the woman in the red dress.  

Anyway while roucelle looked ridiculous, she seemed really down to earth and like a fun person to talk to. She seems like a good friend.

Edited September 10, 2019 by RealReality

[RealReality]

On 9/8/2019 at 8:52 PM, HunterHunted said:

Avery's mother, Teri, didn't know what a dowry is. She didn't know what an imam was. "Are you the...ummm...holy man?" She doesn't seem to understand that there are moderate Muslims. She's the same fucking genius who doesn't seem to understand that if Omar doesn't get a K-1 visa, Omar and Avery would obviously be living in a foreign country. There's no way Teri's ignorant ass knew what a dowry was.

LOL, all that time she had access to Google and only used it to look up "Muslim wife" 🙄

21 hours ago, jumper sage said:

Bold 1 - Who goes to a third world country and expects to stay in an Air B&B?

20 hours ago, Lizzing said:

According to AirBnB's site, there are multiple places to rent in Nairobi, and they don't look half bad.

Yeah, I think the idea was that Ben would be staying in a nicer part of the city. 

That's what hurts my feelings sometimes is if that this was the only show you watched where people visit overseas you'd think that there are no nice areas....but I think there is always is.  

13 hours ago, Gobi said:

Does the show start running whilst still filming? If so, that might explain why Tim's ex messaged him.

Yeah the timing was awfully convenient.  

12 hours ago, iwasish said:

Plus he was planning to get the napkins that are folded to look like swans. I didn’t see any  rose petals though. 

I thought he has a Ziploc bag of rose petals on the pillow. 

11 hours ago, magemaud said:

Some kind of chocolate boats that looked like dog doo 

I thought it was a treasure chest of chocolate.  Either way, it probably cost more than the ring.  IJS.

[Hannah94]

54 minutes ago, RealReality said:

I'm so happy I wasn't the only one thinking that!  I only got that vibe from the woman in the red dress.  

Anyway while roucelle looked ridiculous, she seemed really down to earth and like a fun person to talk to. She seems like a good friend.

I think if she took a wet wipe to her face, she'd be very pretty. She has good bone structure and pretty eyes. That Baby Jane makeup gives me the chills. 

[HeyJude]

On 9/8/2019 at 9:27 PM, shouldbedancing said:

Wondering this myself. I think he sent her money but then he bought it himself. I don't know how his card could get declined and he didn't know immediately. He had some sort of confirmation code or ticket number so... why would they take the money later? Unless he went through some shady site I've never heard of. There are sites that will let you buy a plane ticket on credit. It's confusing and I probably shouldn't spend so much time trying to figure out a fake storyline.

He let her spend the money he sent for her ticket on "things she needs". He bought her a new ticket, but his card was declined

[HunterHunted]

Everything Roucelle said was smart and reasonable. She just happens to dress and do her make-up like Adore Delano, which is a little bit of an issue because Adore's drag is supposed to be a little bit rachet.

1 hour ago, RealReality said:

LOL, all that time she had access to Google and only used it to look up "Muslim wife" 🙄

It's clear that Avery's family decided that Islam was the problem and they weren't going to search for anything that said different. Had Teri bothered to Google more than whether a Muslim husband can beat his wife, she might have found out that a Muslim holy man (imam) at a Columbus area Muslim religious building (mosque) might have given Avery pre-marital counseling and talked her out of this foolishness. I know Teri knows what a mosque is. It's a joke.

It's kind of clear to me that Avery is not going to a mosque in Columbus and isn't dialed into any of the Muslim community in Columbus. The reason I believe this is because nearly every religious group has a youth group or youth mixers.

I think Omar is pretty decent. He's cute. He's smart. He seems pretty respectful. His English is pretty good, but it's not great. Syria is 7 hours ahead of Columbus. Would you bother getting to know him and dealing with all of those hassles if you had actual prospects nearby?

If she were actually connected to and involved with the Muslim community in Columbus, her Muslim girlfriends would have told her she's fucking crazy to marry some Syrian guy she met online. Her Muslim girlfriends' parents would have tried to talk her out of it.

Avery's family and her ignorant mother would rather google skeery facts about Islam to frighten Avery away from the religion. It never even occurred to these dopes that the person or persons who had the best chances of talking Avery out of this marriage were people who didn't denigrate or disrespect her conversion. A Muslim person could have done it. An imam (Muslim holy man) in Columbus probably could have talked Avery out of the marriage or at least gotten her to slow down.

1 hour ago, RealReality said:

Yeah the timing was awfully convenient.  

It's either TLC faking it or Tim posting on Twitter, Instagram, or Facebook that he's in Brazil and his ex taking note.

Edited September 10, 2019 by HunterHunted

[HahYallDoin]

14 hours ago, magemaud said:

I don’t remember anything in her hands except her wheeled suitcase. (Or was Z pulling that?) She did bring HIM gifts as she unpacked at the hotel. 

While we’re still on the subject of “hostess gifts,” Tim appeared to be empty handed meeting the grandparents, too, although he brought lots of stuff for Jeniffer and Violet. 

As my Southern mother says about hostess gifts for meeting new people who are welcoming you into the various fold, ‘Don’t ever go to someone’s home with one arm as long as the other.’ 

She will be 81 in a few days and comes over to watch on Sunday night and have dinner. It’s her biggest pet peeve with these fools and so as we are watching, she repeatedly says to my teenage daughter; ‘Now Camille, look at that fool. No manners whatsoever. Someone should have clued him/her in before they left home what is expected of them as a visitor. Imposing on these poor people. Making them appear on camera, shanties on full display, snaggle teeth, taking their time away from the basic tasks required daily for their mere survival. So sad and what do they get? Nothing but seeing a fools blank face and dim wit. You have always known sweetheart, always known, how to arrive to someone’s home. Now tell me, what don’t you ever do?’ To which my daughter must reply, ‘You never show up with one arm as long as the other, Grammie.’ Every. Single. Week. 

Ahhh, good times, good times. Making memories to carry forward when my mother is gone. All made possible by the idiots of this damn show 😂

Edited September 10, 2019 by HahYallDoin
Forgot a quotation mark.

[noveltylibrary]

On 9/2/2019 at 10:27 PM, Spike said:

I bet Tom and Darcey’s version of the Eveready bunny in bed might be five minutes.  You know he starts huffing and puffing and sweating after three thrusts.

Haa her quiet description "it was good" was telling.

[humbleopinion]

 Longevity wishes to your Momma on her upcoming birthday.

Your daughter is so lucky to have a granny that has a sense of humor and finds life lessons in trash teevee.

Tom is like a fragile flower...

Darcey is going to love him to death...

Bloody nose, swollen ankle, raw skin chewed off his lips, broken penis....

[Brooklynista]

6 hours ago, Hannah94 said:

This reminds me of a time in high school. I was good friends with a girl that was a bit overweight, nothing extreme, just big a little bit. I was built like a ten year old at that time, maybe weighed 90 lbs. (Sigh, miss those days) She had one sibling, an older, tall, skinny brother. Her parents were Snobby McSnobsters. She invited me over for dinner and they made these sandwiches, hot ham and cheese or something. They cut one in half and gave my friend one half and gave me the other half. They gave two full sandwiches to her brother and the parents each ate one full sandwich. To this day, I cannot believe how rude that was - not just to me but to my friend. People are rude assholes sometimes.

As far as the Ben dinner scene, no way in hell would I expect someone from another country to gladly inhale fish brains, even if it was something I enjoyed eating.  

This would have to be my line in the sand. If nobody else is eating, then I ain't eating. Serve me your "delicacy" and I'm the only one digging in?? Nope. Let's all eat the sheep brain, fish brain or chicken feet if not the Girl Scout in me has a turkey sandwich in her pocketbook. 

Call me a rude American later.

[A-Lo]

13 hours ago, KateHearts said:

it may be different for dentists, but people who graduate medical school (after 4 years) are called "Doctor," but it's really just in title only. They have to complete a residency before they can actually practice.

That's absolutely correct, KATEHEARTS.  Graduating dental school is the same as graduating from medical school.  They are considered doctors at that point, as well.  Fortunately they only have to do a year's residency afterwards.

[TwirlyGirly]

I've been thinking a lot about the confusion over the "dowry" Omar spoke of in his conversation with Avery's mother, and have already explained why this payment is not a "dowry".

But I'll bet there are still many viewers who are wondering why Omar used the word "dowry" if in fact what he was speaking of isn't one?

As I explained previously, there is no translation into English for the Arabic word "mahr."

So, I think there's two possible explanations why Omar used the word "dowry":

1). English is Omar's second language. When Omar was being taught English, he may have been taught there is no translation for "mahr," but the English word "dowry" is sometimes used. 

He may not have been taught using "dowry" is incorrect or misleading, because in other cultures "dowry" refers to a payment of cash or material goods made by a groom or his family to the family of the bride; either prior to, or at the time of, marriage.

Or...

2). Omar may have used the word "mahr" originally. Then the producers realized if Omar inserted a word in Arabic into the conversation, they'd have to translate it on-screen. Since there is no equivalent word in English, they'd have to translate it to "dowry" - and if they were going to do that, he might as well say "dowry" instead of "mahr" - and they did a reshoot of that portion of the scene.

Personally, I think #2 is what happened, but I could be wrong.

[Normades]

I don't know if anyone has asked this, but exactly how would Avery be able to come up with the funds to support bringing a spouse to America from Syria?  Don't you have to have a certain level of income to be approved?  Isn't that why Pole couldn't bring Karine to the US?  Does Avery think her mother is going to pick up that tab? And all of this is pointless if restrictions are still in place for immigration from Syria.  

[TwirlyGirly]

13 minutes ago, Normades said:

I don't know if anyone has asked this, but exactly how would Avery be able to come up with the funds to support bringing a spouse to America from Syria?  Don't you have to have a certain level of income to be approved?  Isn't that why Pole couldn't bring Karine to the US?  Does Avery think her mother is going to pick up that tab? And all of this is pointless if restrictions are still in place for immigration from Syria.  

Costs to bring a spouse to the U.S. as opposed to a fiancé (K-1 visa) are considerably lower, as are the income requirements:

More HERE .

[mamadrama]

That IS 2 different phones, right?

[Scorpiosunshine]

3 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

 Longevity wishes to your Momma on her upcoming birthday.

Your daughter is so lucky to have a granny that has a sense of humor and finds life lessons in trash teevee.

Tom is like a fragile flower...

Darcey is going to love him to death...

Bloody nose, swollen ankle, raw skin chewed off his lips, broken penis....

Not to mention his eventual chewed-off arm when he finally has enough of her antics and tries to get away! 

[Bryce Lynch]

17 hours ago, the-grey-lady said:

Wow, this is seriously offensive.

So because people are poor and live in a developing country, Akinyi's family should be happy for any ol' white dude to take their daughter off their hands, no matter who he is and how he treats her?

Last time I checked, wealth didn't determine one's humanity.

"Who the heck are they to judge?" I don't know...parents who love their daughter? I wasn't aware that parental love was correlated with wealth or birthplace.

I come down somewhere in the middle on this.  Every family should absolutely have self respect and value their children and not want them to marry the first slob who comes along.

But, I find Akini's family to be downright snobbish (not to mention racist, or at least bigoted).  Snobbery is an ugly look even if you are very wealthy,  When you live in a shed with a dirt floor is is ugly and absurd.  

I can totally understand them having concerns about whether Ben is the right man for Akini and can provide her with a good and happy life.  But, they seem to be going out of their way to make him feel unwelcome and uncomfortable    

Why not be nice to him, get to know him and politely ask him all the relevant questions and then come to a conclusion?

[Bryce Lynch]

7 hours ago, HunterHunted said:

Everything Roucelle said was smart and reasonable. She just happens to dress and do her make-up like Adore Delano, which is a little bit of an issue because Adore's drag is supposed to be a little bit rachet.

It's clear that Avery's family decided that Islam was the problem and they weren't going to search for anything that said different. Had Teri bothered to Google more than whether a Muslim husband can beat his wife, she might have found out that a Muslim holy man (imam) at a Columbus area Muslim religious building (mosque) might have given Avery pre-marital counseling and talked her out of this foolishness. I know Teri knows what a mosque is. It's a joke.

It's kind of clear to me that Avery is not going to a mosque in Columbus and isn't dialed into any of the Muslim community in Columbus. The reason I believe this is because nearly every religious group has a youth group or youth mixers.

I think Omar is pretty decent. He's cute. He's smart. He seems pretty respectful. His English is pretty good, but it's not great. Syria is 7 hours ahead of Columbus. Would you bother getting to know him and dealing with all of those hassles if you had actual prospects nearby?

If she were actually connected to and involved with the Muslim community in Columbus, her Muslim girlfriends would have told her she's fucking crazy to marry some Syrian guy she met online. Her Muslim girlfriends' parents would have tried to talk her out of it.

Avery's family and her ignorant mother would rather google skeery facts about Islam to frighten Avery away from the religion. It never even occurred to these dopes that the person or persons who had the best chances of talking Avery out of this marriage were people who didn't denigrate or disrespect her conversion. A Muslim person could have done it. An imam (Muslim holy man) in Columbus probably could have talked Avery out of the marriage or at least gotten her to slow down.

It's either TLC faking it or Tim posting on Twitter, Instagram, or Facebook that he's in Brazil and his ex taking note.

I seriously question Avery's claim that she decided to convert to Islam first and then met Omar.  If she didn't convert for Omar, than I'd bet she converted for some other guy.  

[blubld43]

9 hours ago, beesknees said:

Laura's son Liam was pretty rude (stereotypical rude American).  I was cringing when he refused to meet Zied's family.  I mean, he couldn't just stop in for a little bit and say hi?  Huh?  Dude, at least do it for your mom.  Zied said some stupid things as well but still .....

Lol, Liam would be hard pressed to meet Zied, since that's Rebecca's man😁. And I'm sure he would say something stupid!

[PinkFlamingo]

18 hours ago, magemaud said:

In addition to dentists, I get ads for lipstick for “mature women.” 

I have also noticed ads related to the material being discussed in my feed. These are things that I would never search for or purchase myself, but apparently were seen as keywords on the page or something. 

Bad lipstick is a very common theme on this franchise and often discussed. That and bad eyebrows. Where are the ads for eyebrow fixing? Or how about gifts to bring to a foreign bride ads? 

That being said,

chainsaws

chainsaw

chainsaws

lets get some chainsaw ads...

[RealReality]

51 minutes ago, mamadrama said:

That IS 2 different phones, right?

I noticed that too!!!  The one ceasar has had all season had a cracked screen.  I wonder if he used a phone from a crew member? 

[DaphneCat]

12 minutes ago, PinkFlamingo said:

19 hours ago, magemaud said:

In addition to dentists, I get ads for lipstick for “mature women.” 

I have also noticed ads related to the material being discussed in my feed. These are things that I would never search for or purchase myself, but apparently were seen as keywords on the page or something. 

Bad lipstick is a very common theme on this franchise and often discussed. That and bad eyebrows. Where are the ads for eyebrow fixing? Or how about gifts to bring to a foreign bride ads? 

That being said,

chainsaws

chainsaw

chainsaws

lets get some chainsaw ads...

I get the lipstick ads and last time was getting ads for glitter sneakers.  Don't have a clue why those would come up.

[magemaud]

Today I’m getting ads for travel insurance 

[Spike]

21 hours ago, ALittleShelfish said:

I wonder if he was actually on the phone with a TLC production assistant playing the role of "Airline Representative".  I didn't check the credits.  

It was odd that an airline flying from Ukraine to Cancun would have an American customer service agent named Noah.

21 hours ago, HaaCHOO said:

STAGED!  I agree.  After Jennifer threw that drink in his face, I rewound and watched again.  It looked like a cup of milk...and even when she supposedly put it to her lips to take a drink, she might have taken a drop--leaving the cup filled to the brim.  FOR STAGED THROWING!   Also, the table of four we could see in the scene didn't even blink.  Was Tim's hair so wet because they had tried that scene a couple of times before they got it right?

It looked like horchata.

[Cammi]

18 hours ago, the-grey-lady said:

Wow, this is seriously offensive.

So because people are poor and live in a developing country, Akinyi's family should be happy for any ol' white dude to take their daughter off their hands, no matter who he is and how he treats her?

Last time I checked, wealth didn't determine one's humanity.

"Who the heck are they to judge?" I don't know...parents who love their daughter? I wasn't aware that parental love was correlated with wealth or birthplace.

Their sister/daughter is expecting marriage from a foreigner she HAS NEVER MET before. Ben went online trolling for "hot chocolate" (HIS words), and Akinyi ALLOWED herself to be trolled. So obviously he IS the best she can do. He's not attractive. She isn't attractive either imo. Huge head, gapped teeth. Sorry, not sorry. She doesn't even act as if she LIKES him. Everyone knows this is an arrangement. So yeah, who are they to judge him? I'd say she is looking for a ticket out. He's it. Be grateful I guess. Or if she is so uncomfortable with his race, then say- don't lead him on. He's a socially awkward guy. If she didn't know this, then maybe spend time getting to know him. She should've introduced him to her mom. I've been invited places, where the hostess/host didn't introduce me to a soul, and as an introvert, this is a nightmare. It is beyond rude to expect a guest to introduce themselves. I get deer-in-headlights panic attacks, and have completely missed people around me lots of times due to my sheer anxiety. She is a bad hostess, and Ben obviously needs to be queued for manners when visiting.  I think her family was harsh, and I think she is a rude young woman. She obviously doesn't want to carry water home anymore, so she should be a bit nicer. This is not a love match. She's about a 3 where I live in comparison to other young women her age. Be grateful or send him home. 

[Gobi]

59 minutes ago, magemaud said:

Today I’m getting ads for travel insurance 

Leaving to pick up your 90 Day Fiance soon?

[Cementhead]

I'm shocked that no one is getting ads for Thierry Mugler's Angel yet.  Because I swear I could almost smell it coming through my screen while watching Darcey marinade herself in it and while reading the comments about it here.  A whiff of perfumed laden fake fur and latex but perhaps it was just my imagination.  They are probably embarrassed as a brand and are hoping we all soon forget that it's Darcey's perfume of choice.  

9 minutes ago, Gobi said:

Leaving to pick up your 90 Day Fiance soon?

Don't forget to pack the chocolate drawers!

[Spike]

18 hours ago, jennylauren123 said:

There's one right above this text box as I type this. Drives me crazy! (Even though I am considered a "mature" woman...)

If you use an ad blocker they will be gone.

[charmed1]

4 hours ago, TwirlyGirly said:

I've been thinking a lot about the confusion over the "dowry" Omar spoke of in his conversation with Avery's mother, and have already explained why this payment is not a "dowry".

But I'll bet there are still many viewers who are wondering why Omar used the word "dowry" if in fact what he was speaking of isn't one?

As I explained previously, there is no translation into English for the Arabic word "mahr."

So, I think there's two possible explanations why Omar used the word "dowry":

1). English is Omar's second language. When Omar was being taught English, he may have been taught there is no translation for "mahr," but the English word "dowry" is sometimes used. 

He may not have been taught using "dowry" is incorrect or misleading, because in other cultures "dowry" refers to a payment of cash or material goods made by a groom or his family to the family of the bride; either prior to, or at the time of, marriage.

Or...

2). Omar may have used the word "mahr" originally. Then the producers realized if Omar inserted a word in Arabic into the conversation, they'd have to translate it on-screen. Since there is no equivalent word in English, they'd have to translate it to "dowry" - and if they were going to do that, he might as well say "dowry" instead of "mahr" - and they did a reshoot of that portion of the scene.

Personally, I think #2 is what happened, but I could be wrong.

I definitely think the scene was recreated because Omar is wearing a wedding band.