S04.E02: Recipe for Disaster

[esco1822]

Chef Mila can go because she's a vile chef and human being but first, I'd like her to have to cook for a charter of entirely gay males who are also not afraid of PDA. 

[njbchlover]

29 minutes ago, esco1822 said:

Chef Mila can go because she's a vile chef and human being but first, I'd like her to have to cook for a charter of entirely gay males who are also not afraid of PDA. 

One of last charter groups on BD regular this past season - those guys were very, very demanding - they even made Adrian, the "zen" chef lose his cool for a bit!  

[njbchlover]

11 hours ago, mbaywife123 said:

Those caprese salads needed less then half of the hunk of cheese she used (pre made/ store cheese of course) cheese is fun to make using your own curds or FFS you are in France home to some of the best craft made cheese in the world.

The woman is obviously a plant for Anastasia to take over in the galley. If not WTH!

2 hours ago, Rhetorica said:

This allegation is all over the internet.  So,  true/false?

https://www.cheatsheet.com/entertainment/captain-sandy-from-below-deck-addresses-rumor-that-chef-was-a-plant.html/

1 hour ago, ParadoxLost said:

True.  She's a plant and not the only one.  They don't cast this show for competency at luxury yachting.

The difference is that they went too far and are flirting with breaking the forth wall.  Everyone is watching, thinking I don't know how to cook but...I know that made the dish look look disgusting...I know not to do something so gross that it would shutdown a restaurant on camera...I may not be able to bake but I can follow a recipe...I can cook enough to use fresh ingredients instead of boxes and cans.

She made those homophobic comments dead sober while smiling.  It came across as pre rehearsed.  She was looking for an opportunity.

I'm not sure if she is a plant or not, but I cannot imagine that anyone in their right mind would say those homophobic comments on film on a reality show (not a scripted movie playing an actual fictional role) unless there is a grain of true personal feelings regarding that. 

Up until that point, I was kind of thinking that Mila as a chef could have been a set-up.  But, after those comments, I'm having second thoughts.  Mila does seem very interested in all of the guys' sexual orientation. Prior to going out, she asked Jack if he was gay - because he has long hair and veneers.  That was also a very judgmental opinion.  

I just can't see anyone, in this day and age, putting those kind of statements and comments out there.  To what gain?  She will be/is being lambasted for the comments - she's not doing herself any favors or gaining any kind of respect, imo.  And, without being able to break the fourth wall, she's basically made herself look like a horrible person.

Edited June 11, 2019 by njbchlover

[missyb]

8 hours ago, VagueDisclaimer said:

  Reveal spoiler Reveal spoiler

It’s Ben. 

I thought so but then I read some denials.  That should steam things up !

[VagueDisclaimer]

18 minutes ago, njbchlover said:

I'm not sure if she is a plant or not, but I cannot imagine that anyone in their right mind would say those homophobic comments on film on a reality show (not a scripted movie playing an actual fictional role) unless there is a grain of true personal feelings regarding that. 

Up until that point, I was kind of thinking that Mila as a chef could have been a set-up.  But, after those comments, I'm having second thoughts.  Mila does seem very interested in all of the guys' sexual orientation. Prior to going out, she asked Jack if he was gay - because he has long hair and veneers.  That was also a very judgmental opinion.  

I just can't see anyone, in this day and age, putting those kind of statements and comments out there.  To what gain?  She will be/is being lambasted for the comments - she's not doing herself any favors or gaining any kind of respect, imo.  And, without being able to break the fourth wall, she's basically made herself look like a horrible person.

Agreed. I think it’s entirely possible that she was hired to be a bad chef for the storyline, but her personal interactions didn’t seem rehearsed. She seems like she’s a genuinely proud homophobe and Putin-lover. 

[rehoboth]

I was trying to give Mila the benefit of the doubt regarding her cooking and quite different cultural background.  For cooking, I do think that some people learn how to prepare some dishes but do not learn how to manage a kitchen.  I think we saw this when she couldn't get any of her timing right, the plating proportions were wrong (full size tacos and enchiladas for a starter???, the lump of cheese in the middle of the plate?) and also the camera keeps showing boxes of fresh produce piled up in a stairwell. The usage of boxed goods for the tacos and the microwaving of the steak seemed like panic moves.  But after the second show we find that she flat out can't do the job.

For her culture being different, I was willing to bend a little when she belittled the host for tearing up and with her first homophobic utterances.  But by the end it looked like she was just trying to rile up the Guy-Whose-Name-I-Don't-Know.  More screen time?  The sooner she is gone the better.

I predict that she will be just a memory soon and the real drama will come from the exterior crew and JWow.  Getting lazy, entitled people to work will always be an entertaining problem.

[AttackTurtle]

They (cough chef cough)  were very lucky that these guests were so laid back.     The chef is really god awful.

[CaliforniaLove]

Haven't watched yet, but oh how I wish they would have a charter like the one with all the gay guys last season on Below Deck OG (where Josiah wore the speedo) while this "chef" is still on board!!

[tvfanatic13]

You have said it all regarding Mila so I won't add. My question is: the primary seemed really familiar. Was he on BD prior to this?

[TexasGal]

I had a friend over so wasn't paying full attention.  When that caprese salad went out, it took me a long time to figure out that was a slab of cheese on the plate.  I was like - mound of rice?  surrounding by tomatoes?  What the heck is that?  

[jmcd44]

7 minutes ago, TexasGal said:

I had a friend over so wasn't paying full attention.  When that caprese salad went out, it took me a long time to figure out that was a slab of cheese on the plate.  I was like - mound of rice?  surrounding by tomatoes?  What the heck is that? 

100% also thought it was a mound of white rice and thought "Huh-that is different Italian."  Thank you forum!  I love mozzarella but sweet Moses.

[Maccagirl]

I was really hoping when Captain Sandy sat down with "chef" Mila, she was going to request Mila to cook on the spot one of the pictured items she used in her CV.  That would have been badass and awesome!  Missed opportunity.

Edited June 11, 2019 by Maccagirl
Corrected chef's name. I was on other forums and had a brain fart!!

[Emmeline]

3 hours ago, missyb said:

I thought so but then I read some denials.  That should steam things up !

I can’t remember if he ever worked the med route?  Not that it matters, I just thought someone else out there might know.

Edited June 11, 2019 by Emmeline

[Misslindsey]

6 hours ago, bosawks said:

Or BRAVO hiring her to be the first female chef in the Below Deck universe, don't tell me that wasn't on purpose.

This. When I saw that there was going to be a female chef I was so hoping that she would be kick ass, but instead we got Mila. Sigh....Mila is the worst.

[ZaldamoWilder]

Jesus, be a tablespoon of Amoxicilin.   This muffucha.   Mee-luh?  The microwave ain't even in the galley, boo, is that not evident of your understanding?   Ya'll just gawn and accept she went to sacre bleu not cordon bleu.

16 hours ago, PaperTree said:

That was fun!  Nice finish with Chef Barfy's homophobic little rant.  

These guests appear to have no clue what first class is like.  This isn't it, yet they seem happy.

That microwaved meat looked tough, unless they have really dull knives.

"Naughty schoolboy slapping me ass on the bridge" lol  Jack's pretty useless, but I love the accent.

Who owns the property at the private beach?  They need a better spot.  Ugh.

Chef Barfy is incompetent.  An hour late to throw that lunch together.  What has she been doing since breakfast, where all I saw was some ugly thick sliced meat?

No tequila!!!  Then throw 2 bottles at once?  And try to catch them together?

Toss them both out of the frat!  Then of course karma blows up a storm.

"I'm not a butcher, I'm not a baker"  She's barely a cook.

I made better cakes in Home Ec class with powdered milk and eggs in high school.  Duncan Heinz makes a great cake.  As Ana showed, it's not that hard even from scratch. 

Now she's insulted the guests know she didn't make the cake,  Stop it!  She escaped blame for that dreadful icing job.  Almost as ugly as the nachos.

Aesha is pretty weird.  Colin, google NZ Kiwi, it's your friend.

you guys? we just haven't properly identified her skill set, has anyone stopped to consider that maybe, just maybe, she's a kickass candlestick maker?

4 hours ago, ParadoxLost said:

True.  She's a plant and not the only one.  They don't cast this show for competency at luxury yachting.

The difference is that they went too far and are flirting with breaking the forth wall.  Everyone is watching, thinking I don't know how to cook but...I know that made the dish look look disgusting...I know not to do something so gross that it would shutdown a restaurant on camera...I may not be able to bake but I can follow a recipe...I can cook enough to use fresh ingredients instead of boxes and cans.

She made those homophobic comments dead sober while smiling.  It came across as pre rehearsed.  She was looking for an opportunity.

The childish part of me thinks of this as fucking hilarious.  But, it's also kind of a chief earmark of psychopaths.  Sooooo, I'm torn.  

3 hours ago, njbchlover said:

I'm not sure if she is a plant or not, but I cannot imagine that anyone in their right mind would say those homophobic comments on film on a reality show (not a scripted movie playing an actual fictional role) unless there is a grain of true personal feelings regarding that. 

Up until that point, I was kind of thinking that Mila as a chef could have been a set-up.  But, after those comments, I'm having second thoughts.  Mila does seem very interested in all of the guys' sexual orientation. Prior to going out, she asked Jack if he was gay - because he has long hair and veneers.  That was also a very judgmental opinion.  

I just can't see anyone, in this day and age, putting those kind of statements and comments out there.  To what gain?  She will be/is being lambasted for the comments - she's not doing herself any favors or gaining any kind of respect, imo.  And, without being able to break the fourth wall, she's basically made herself look like a horrible person.

Anybody else hear this in Nancy Grace's voice of umbrage?  

Just so we're all clear, a woman whom in her lifetime has witnessed:

believes it would traumatize her son to see two men kiss?

Set her adrift in the tinder, we'll circle back around.  Or not.

[missyb]

1 hour ago, Emmeline said:

I can’t remember if he ever worked the med route?  Not that it matters, I just thought someone else out there might know.

I believe he was the chef for the first season of below deck med.

[Smokey17]

I work in the food industry and i have worked with many cooks or "chefs" who have gone through culinary school. Most are not worth shit. There is a big difference between cooking at school and actual cooking in a restaurant. 

Mila really may have gone to Le Cordon Bleu, but lacks the experience in a professional setting. Just because you went to culinary school does not mean you are a chef. 

It is true that many chefs cannot or hate to bake. But when you are the only one cooking as she is on a ship, you better have some recipes because people will request these things.

If she's a plant and messing up on purpose, when then they can all fuck off!

[ava111]

3 hours ago, tvfanatic13 said:

You have said it all regarding Mila so I won't add. My question is: the primary seemed really familiar. Was he on BD prior to this?

I doubt that or he would realize that the food was subpar.

These awesome guests deserved better!!!

[HunterHunted]

6 hours ago, ParadoxLost said:

True.  She's a plant and not the only one.  They don't cast this show for competency at luxury yachting.

Is there someone else you suspect of being a plant? For all of her wackiness, Aesha did work on a big deal yacht as did Brooke from last season. Jack's biggest problem is that he came from a merchant marine vessel and he was an engineer; that's an entirely different ship culture.

[biakbiak]

Aesha seems nice but her voice is annoying as fuck!

The homophobic rant casts her asking Jack if he was gay in a different light.

I didn’t realize slicing ham was was a special skill. 

[jennylauren123]

2 hours ago, ZaldamoWilder said:

you guys? we just haven't properly identified her skill set, has anyone stopped to consider that maybe, just maybe, she's a kickass candlestick maker?

Zaldamo for the win! This really did make me LOL. :)

[Guest]

1 minute ago, HunterHunted said:

Is there someone else you suspect of being a plant? For all of her wackiness, Aesha did work on a big deal yacht as did Brooke from last season. Jack's biggest problem is that he came from a merchant marine vessel and he was an engineer; that's an entirely different ship culture.

I was more referring to them selecting personalities that are going to create certain types of tension in general.  That's standard candid reality MO.  They cast by psyche profile not qualification.  I bet that finding a lie on a CV puts a prospective closer to getting the gig compared to not getting it.

I'm actually a little more interested in this season that usual because they've gone against the usual set up.

The chef is weak.

The interior doesn't have any weak links to stir up Hannah.  Although they may be strong enough that if Hannah slacks off we may see another round of "you don't deserve to be Chief Stew".

They skipped casting the female deckhand who has relatively more experience but is treated like she doesn't know anything because of her gender.  With Joao in charge that is probably a good thing.

I like that everyone, minus Mila who is awful, seems to be getting along for now.  Too bad it won't last.

But if I had to pick a second person who was cast just to cause trouble, it would be Jack.  He has already decided to take a break when packing up for a storm.  Travis said he covered for him which tells me he wasn't supposed to be on break.  Then Jack feigned not knowing where they were and what they were doing when Joao called him to help.  They are already doing deliberately placed shots of Jack eating, going to his bunk, etc. in between everyone else scurrying around working.  He may save Hannah the lazy edit this season.  And he's sucking up to Sandy

Something about Jack's reaction to Mila in the van made me think that he's going to be one of those one that will be fine stirring up shit just for the perceived entertainment value..

[howiveaddict]

Since Mila did not like to  bake, she should have sent someone to buy a cake, pastries on shore.  After all they are in the freaking south of France.  Who says a cake has to be home made.

My opinion of the guests was they had seen how previous guests act look like ass holes and thus pretended they like the food.  Or they could just be nice people with immature palates.

[Neurochick]

I thought it was funny that Mila called Hannah fake.  

For some people who don't believe Mila is real; I do.  I've met people like her, they are the ones who got their jobs because they, or someone in their family had connections and got them the job; and then they start to believe their own bullshit.  

[stcroix]

I love how this cast seems so capable-- especially the stews.  I don't watch this show to see someone trying to be 3rd stew who has never been on one of these charters before.  Joao has changed dramatically in his attitude and that's a nice surprise. 

Please don't bring Brooke back, even on a phone call. I don't like her little whiny voice and saw enough last season.  (she was so needy it does seem odd that she would cheat on him... wonder what the whole story there was) Anyway, maybe it's just because they've all banded against the chef but as for now this cast seems the best of the Med shows to me.   

[scrb]

6 hours ago, biakbiak said:

I didn’t realize slicing ham was was a special skill. 

The Italians and especially the Spanish are serious about their ham.  You will find many little family run places selling panini and they all have the machine, which isn’t motorized but is a major piece of equipment.

They charge 5 Euros or less for a panini while places in the US charge $14.

[biakbiak]

27 minutes ago, scrb said:

The Italians and especially the Spanish are serious about their ham.  You will find many little family run places selling panini and they all have the machine, which isn’t motorized but is a major piece of equipment.

They charge 5 Euros or less for a panini while places in the US charge $14.

I am aware but Mia was ridiculous declaring she couldn’t possibly cut it. What was she going to do if Sandy hadn’t stepped in just feed the guy melon salad? Why did she order it in the first place.

[Misslindsey]

49 minutes ago, biakbiak said:

I am aware but Mia was ridiculous declaring she couldn’t possibly cut it. What was she going to do if Sandy hadn’t stepped in just feed the guy melon salad? Why did she order it in the first place.

Mila probably would have served it like she did the mozzarella on the caprese salads by just putting the whole ham in the middle of the plate. Another possibility is that Mila would bust out some Spam and call it prosciutto.

[bichonblitz]

The stew making the cake and Capt'n Sandy slicing the ham? Oy. The kicker is that the guests loved the food. Go figure. 

[Giselle]

On 6/10/2019 at 6:49 PM, Mindthinkr said:

Vodka soaked tampon? What’s with this potty mouthed stew...

Describing strawberries and blueberries as ovaries and eggs to guests...  She shouldn't be serving. She needs to go. No professionalism what so ever. 

Mila needs to go. She served trailer trash diner food in a luxury setting. She didn't even try to elevate the simple dishes.  She has no professionalism either and can't take criticism. I'd be ashamed to put food it like that to paying guests. Quite judgemental of everyone but herself. 

Half the time I can't understand either of them nor Lazy Liverpool guy and miss what's being said.  I just watch, I don't really care what they are saying.

If I were a paying guest, even with the Bravo show discount, I'd ask for a refund. The guests were really nice, even if they really did like the food they should have been treated better by the chef and stew. 

Why do I feel that most of that most of that produce in the crates is going to rot and she'll cut that away to make and serve gulag stew.

Edited June 12, 2019 by Giselle

[Mindthinkr]

If indeed this chef is a plant (to bring the rest of the cast together) and we are getting a new chef then I’m calling foul. They have to dupe us to make this show interesting? No, we are witty and discerning...get a better show runner Bravo. 

With that being said then I wonder that these last guests got a “free” (gas only) trip to be laid back and approve of their substandard meals. Just to keep the controversy on the cast and not the guests. If that is the case then they did their part of the bargain and did it well. I assume this because they never showed them complain when they waited an extra 50 minutes to go to their beach picnic. Since lunch was scheduled to be served at 2, my stomach wouldn’t have been happy waiting until 3. Club sandwiches cut in half Mila? No, they are supposed to be cut into quarters for easier handling because they are so thick. Then to rush because of the oncoming rain. Sheesh. 

[Giselle]

20 hours ago, VagueDisclaimer said:

Agreed. I think it’s entirely possible that she was hired to be a bad chef for the storyline, but her personal interactions didn’t seem rehearsed. She seems like she’s a genuinely proud homophobe and Putin-lover. 

Mila would like someone like that oligarch Putin.  She stole what should have been an elevated experience for these nice down home guests.

Even if they wanted tacos, BLTs, and steak. It could have been so much more than the slop she served.

[Giselle]

On 6/10/2019 at 10:35 PM, nokat said:

Because Sandy isn't the best judge of character, or for who is actually getting the job done.
 

The only qualifier Sandy needs from a crew prospect is the ability to blow smoke up her ass and stroke her ego.

[Giselle]

On 6/10/2019 at 7:12 PM, mbaywife123 said:

I laughed so hard at that. Loved it, he put the whammy on her!

I think she listened thru an open window on a ladder.

That and she missed class the one day they talked about presentation.

Edited June 12, 2019 by Giselle
Made "talk" past tense.

[PaperTree]

34 minutes ago, Giselle said:

serve gulag stew.

LOL!!!

[Giselle]

On 6/10/2019 at 8:33 PM, HunterHunted said:

Aesha is the one who worked on Phoenix 2.

I'm bringing this up because Sandy will probably lay into someone for giving her attitude or making a face later in the season, but Sandy missed that Mila  completely wanted to stab Sandy during Sandy's remedial lesson on plating.

With the previews for next week, I'm doubtful that Mila attended one of those brief Cordon Bleu seminars. I don't know that I could confidently say she watched a YouTube video about the Cordon Bleu. Canned shrimp and crab? She gave those guests between 8 ounces and a pound of mozzarella in those caprese salads. The preference sheet said cobb salad, not club sandwich. Why does it take hours to make 5 club sandwiches? How much baking soda did she put in that cake? Her plating is truly awful. And she's a homophobe.

I agree with Travis, Mila is an oxygen thief.

Jack is unbelievably lazy. Colin is a dope. Joao is actually tolerable.

Even if she's a plant why as an actor/reality star would you want that kind of incompetence shown on TV?

Is she that desperate for attention like a naughty child 

Edited June 12, 2019 by Giselle

[TwopLurker]

10 hours ago, stcroix said:

Please don't bring Brooke back, even on a phone call. I don't like her little whiny voice and saw enough last season.  (she was so needy it does seem odd that she would cheat on him... wonder what the whole story there was) 

I agree. My guess is that they were on again off again, Brooke said screw it and started seeing other people and once that happened Joao decided they were on again and she was the big, bad cheater and problem-not him.

[PaperTree]

I'm sure Mila will produce more fireworks.

They are already fighting and haven't even gotten liquored up yet 🙂

[Special K]

The softball-size mozzarella was only bested, IMO, but what looked like an Olive Garden bottom-less bowl of pasta with hockey-puck size pieces of truffles thrown on top.  That's what I want for my very special, luxury birthday dinner!
 

[Giselle]

19 minutes ago, Special K said:

The softball-size mozzarella was only bested, IMO, but what looked like an Olive Garden bottom-less bowl of pasta with hockey-puck size pieces of truffles thrown on top.  That's what I want for my very special, luxury birthday dinner!
 

I so excited! I can't wait for the canned shrimp and crab delicacies!

At least one knows it's fully cooked and can trust the "best used by" date! One just can't trust fresh from the ocean seafood especially from the French Riviera.

Edited June 12, 2019 by Giselle

[Mindthinkr]

51 minutes ago, Giselle said:

Even if she's a plant why as an actor/reality star would you want that kind of incompetence shown on TV?

Is she that desperate for attention like a naughty child 

She might not give a rat because she is going to take her salary and go back to Russia where her cooking will be appreciated. Not everyone is happy with potatoes and borscht every day. 

As far as the canned seafood goes, that might be all that’s available where she lives in Russia. You know that any Cordon Bleu school is going to feature fresh seafood. 

[Giselle]

Because it can't be shown enough. And she did this after being sick.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bravotv.com/the-daily-dish/chef-mila-kolomeitseva-licks-raw-steak-below-deck-mediterranean-crew-reacts%3famp

[Giselle]

52 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

She might not give a rat because she is going to take her salary and go back to Russia where her cooking will be appreciated. Not everyone is happy with potatoes and borscht every day. 

As far as the canned seafood goes, that might be all that’s available where she lives in Russia. You know that any Cordon Bleu school is going to feature fresh seafood. 

She needs cook for Putin lick his plate and use a nice bulging can of tuna.

I think her diploma says it's from "Cordon Blue" 

I've eaten better looking and probably better tasting food from Homegirl Cafe in LA. They at least care about what they are serving and how it is served. 

Homegirl Cafe and Homeboy Bakery are two programs that help get young men and women out of gang culture and teaches them viable skills in the food service industry. The program was started by Father Gregory Boyle. I've been there a few times when Phillipe's was too busy. It has been a while since I've been there.

Edited to add: I deleted links to pictures of their food because the links were far too long. 

Edited June 12, 2019 by Giselle
Deleted links

[Mindthinkr]

2 minutes ago, Giselle said:

Because it can't be shown enough. And she did this after being sick.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bravotv.com/the-daily-dish/chef-mila-kolomeitseva-licks-raw-steak-below-deck-mediterranean-crew-reacts%3famp

If the guests get sick, won’t that be fun for the interior crew to have to clean up after. If they don’t disinfect afterwards then the next group will be sick as well.  

Le sigh. Food safety is paramount. 

[MyGiddyAunt]

One could play a serious drinking game with all the times the crew addressed the captain as "Sandy" in this episode.  

Edited June 12, 2019 by MyGiddyAunt

[dosodog]

19 hours ago, jennylauren123 said:

Zaldamo for the win! This really did make me LOL. 🙂

I let out a little squee when I saw Zaldamo posting here.

 

[Giselle]

Even BD Leon's food wasn't as bad as this Gulag Slop Slinger's offerings. They have the same amount of indifference.

[sara1025]

I wanted to slap Mila for criticizing the guest for crying, bitch he actually liked your crappy food (or at least pretended to out of politeness)! You should be thanking him profusely for being so gracious about the cooking. I'm surprised the guests liked the steaks, they looked so thin and dry. And when she got mad about Aesha being honest about who baked the cake, was she supposed to lie and give credit where it wasn't due? On another note, I know it's Bravo so it's not exactly how the real world works but why hire a chef who can't bake on a yacht?

[Mindthinkr]

43 minutes ago, sara1025 said:

but why hire a chef who can't bake on a yacht?

I’ve seen other chefs on Below Deck...Ben and Adrian I think, that don’t usually do cakes and dislike making them. However, when push comes to shove, they do make them well and presentable. 

Edited June 12, 2019 by Mindthinkr
Adrian not Aiden.

[Special K]

11 minutes ago, sara1025 said:

I wanted to slap Mila for criticizing the guest for crying, bitch he actually liked your crappy food (or at least pretended to out of politeness)! You should be thanking him profusely for being so gracious about the cooking. I'm surprised the guests liked the steaks, they looked so thin and dry. And when she got mad about Aesha being honest about who baked the cake, was she supposed to lie and give credit where it wasn't due? On another note, I know it's Bravo so it's not exactly how the real world works but why hire a chef who can't bake on a yacht?

Why hire ANY chef if you haven't tasted their food?