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S04.E02: Recipe for Disaster


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On 6/11/2019 at 10:07 AM, Maccagirl said:

I was really hoping when Captain Sandy sat down with "chef" Mila, she was going to request Mila to cook on the spot one of the pictured items she used in her CV.  That would have been badass and awesome!  Missed opportunity.

I wanted her to do an image search for that food.  

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30 minutes ago, Special K said:

Why hire ANY chef if you haven't tasted their food?

Nobody in the cast or crew hired her.

Bravo cast her and they don't cast for competence or excellence in their work.

In fact, they probably prefer at least some of the cast members are bad at their job or just don't work hard, so that they clash with those who work hard and do their jobs well.

After all, this is a pseudo workplace reality show and one of the ways to stir shit up is to throw in bad workers, whom the other cast members come to resent.

With the sharing of the tips, that's going to generate huge resentment and eventually arguments.

My guess with Jack openly being lazy and not doing what Joao tells them, from the very first charter of the season no less, is probably encouraged and prodded on by the producers.

They probably told him, "this is a TV show first, a charter second, so take it easy, just be interesting."  Guy has no background with luxury yacht charters so why would he be hired here?  

Because they have reason to believe he'll cause drama.

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1 hour ago, scrb said:

Nobody in the cast or crew hired her.

Bravo cast her and they don't cast for competence or excellence in their work.

In fact, they probably prefer at least some of the cast members are bad at their job or just don't work hard, so that they clash with those who work hard and do their jobs well.

After all, this is a pseudo workplace reality show and one of the ways to stir shit up is to throw in bad workers, whom the other cast members come to resent.

With the sharing of the tips, that's going to generate huge resentment and eventually arguments.

My guess with Jack openly being lazy and not doing what Joao tells them, from the very first charter of the season no less, is probably encouraged and prodded on by the producers.

They probably told him, "this is a TV show first, a charter second, so take it easy, just be interesting."  Guy has no background with luxury yacht charters so why would he be hired here?  

Because they have reason to believe he'll cause drama.

I totally agree and that's why this setup/manipulation/production type thing turns me off.  I don't trust the producer's instincts.  What they love, is usually what causes me to change the channel or skip it for a season.  

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(edited)
12 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I totally agree and that's why this setup/manipulation/production type thing turns me off.  I don't trust the producer's instincts.  What they love, is usually what causes me to change the channel or skip it for a season.  

I'm not changing channels or skipping episodes yet, but I already feel distant from it.I'm sure Aisha (Sp?) and Jack are good people I just can't understand them. And though it's not her fault I find Ayesha's voice highly annoying.

It's caused me to walk away or not care what they are saying at times.  

Edited by Giselle
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(edited)

God forbid if a guest requests a Pissaladière or a pizza. Slop Slinger will break out the Hot Pockets.

Anybody else see that she used a can of Rediwhip to Frost the cake?

The Cordon Bleu must be proud.

Edited by Giselle
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(edited)

She may have attended Cordon Bleu but I can't believe she actually did the full program and graduate with a Diplôme de Cuisine.

We know she wouldn't have a Le Grand Diplôme which includes both Cuisine and Pâtisserie degrees because she doesn't do pastry.

Or, as I suspect, did she just take a few of their short "beginner" or "gourmet enthusiast" courses and was awarded a certificate?

Everything she's made comes from a box, a bag, a can, a jar, or a bottle or has an industrial made component. Very little is fresh and  I don't know if she's made any component from scratch. Nothing she's shown us shows her having the kitchen, preparation, nor presentation skills one would have if they actually graduated from their more in-depth programs.

Something's fishy.... besides the canned krab. She's saying she's "caviar" and all we're seeing are "boba" balls.

Edited by Giselle
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Mila continues to disgust with her food. I’m incompetent in the kitchen, and I could have made that lunch and made it a hell of a lot faster. That cake was just weird. Who can’t bake a cake? Just buy some mix, since she loves store-bought stuff so much, and follow directions. She also acted like she had never frosted a cake before in her life. Her wanting undeserved credit for the cake that finally went out was ridiculous. Her Putin-loving homophobia speaks for itself. Mila has one of my least favorite personality types: stupid but confident. These people can never improve at anything because they already think they know it all.

Aesha annoys me. I think she has a lot of nervous energy. Half the time i just want her to calm down.

The guy with the hair is Cute and Knows It, with everything that implies.

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8 hours ago, sara1025 said:

I wanted to slap Mila for criticizing the guest for crying, bitch he actually liked your crappy food (or at least pretended to out of politeness)! You should be thanking him profusely for being so gracious

...and tipping you over $1000 for 2 days "work".

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On 6/11/2019 at 10:13 AM, esco1822 said:

Chef Mila can go because she's a vile chef and human being but first, I'd like her to have to cook for a charter of entirely gay males who are also not afraid of PDA. 

On 6/11/2019 at 10:44 AM, njbchlover said:

One of last charter groups on BD regular this past season - those guys were very, very demanding - they even made Adrian, the "zen" chef lose his cool for a bit!  

On 6/11/2019 at 11:47 AM, CaliforniaLove said:

Haven't watched yet, but oh how I wish they would have a charter like the one with all the gay guys last season on Below Deck OG (where Josiah wore the speedo) while this "chef" is still on board!!

Oh God! I wouldn’t wish her on any of those guys. She wasn’t morally outraged by these last guests and look at their food! Can you imagine what kind of food she would prepare for gay charter guests?  She wouldn’t just be sniffing and licking raw steaks- she would be spitting on all the food too. And something tells me she wouldn’t be able to remain calm with a lot of PDA on deck. I could see her totally going off on the guests and, really, even if there’s a yacht involved, I don’t think it would be worth it for these guys to endure even a day of little Russian homophobe’s tirades and cooking.

Personally, I just want her to be sent back to Siberia and, as punishment, only be allowed to eat her own cooking for the entirety of her life.

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Mila is wanting a career in front of the camera. There is another bad video of her cooking & trying to be a TV chef. Her cooking habits were just as filthy, handing raw seafood then immediately pulling a cork from a wine bottle. 

She needs to go back to the gulag. She just shot herself in the foot. She insulted a group of people who are a big factor in the entertainment industry and the reality/cooking TV audience.

She did us a favor.

Thank you Mila. You showed us who you are and what you believe. We don't have to invest in you.

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(edited)

This is the video I was talking about earlier. Looks like it was a video audition. 

Prancing around, no knife skills, no safe food handling, poor cooking skills, poor  resulting dish.

Using an 8" pan she makes a watery sauce that has no body. She doesn't reduce the marinade she made and uses in the sauce. She dumps it in with the shrimp then she adds more soy, more wine, at least a half a cup of safron infused water, then a good amount of cream and tells you not to boil the cream.  It's a watery soup.

When plating this mess she scoops the shrimp, tomato and peas over the squid ink pasta and leaves all the watery sauce behind in the pan. 

She's not a chef much less a cook.

Edited by Giselle
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24 minutes ago, Thisgirllovespasta said:

Did any one notice when the showed "chef" mila sitting there at the table waiting for the steaks to be microwaved the amount of food/fruit in crates that were just sitting there?

The camera slowly pans over.

Yes, crates of wasted opportunity. 

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27 minutes ago, Thisgirllovespasta said:

Did any one notice when the showed "chef" mila sitting there at the table waiting for the steaks to be microwaved the amount of food/fruit in crates that were just sitting there?

The camera slowly pans over.

Yup. Sitting there in that humid heat growing mold.

Add poor kitchen management to her list of nonexistent skills.

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On 6/11/2019 at 1:26 AM, missyb said:

So, you do you think will come in to replace chef Mila ???  Speculations, rumors???

I haven't read any spoilers but my guess is Anastasia becomes the chef and they get a new stew. Since both stews now are very competent, the new one will probably be a mess so they can stress out Hannah.

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(edited)

I  think they will use the third stew as a stop gap but the rumor is that they are bringing on Ben which I am not happy about.

He has been overused on this franchise and what is he going to bring to the table? Relationship drama as he did on his last outing? 

If he comes on it just proves that the Siberian Hussy was just a plant.

Edited by langford peel
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On 6/12/2019 at 6:22 PM, Giselle said:

She may have attended Cordon Bleu but I can't believe she actually did the full program and graduate with a Diplôme de Cuisine.

Oh, I get the impression she went to their online school or one of the US branch campuses run by a for-profit company that closed in 2015 when the new "gainful employment" rules went into effect for US student loans.  Be careful who you license your name to, kids.  

14 hours ago, langford peel said:

I  think they will use the third stew as a stop gap but the rumor is that they are bringing on Ben which I am not happy about.

He has been overused on this franchise and what is he going to bring to the table? Relationship drama as he did on his last outing? 

If he comes on it just proves that the Siberian Hussy was just a plant.

Exactly, it was all just a manufactured plot-line.  I hope she was well paid for looking like the fool on a major cable network. 

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6 hours ago, Lemur said:

Oh, I get the impression she went to their online school or one of the US branch campuses run by a for-profit company that closed in 2015 when the new "gainful employment" rules went into effect for US student loans.  Be careful who you license your name to, kids.  

Exactly, it was all just a manufactured plot-line.  I hope she was well paid for looking like the fool on a major cable network. 

Is there one run by Sandra Lee?

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On 6/13/2019 at 8:33 AM, Giselle said:

Yup. Sitting there in that humid heat growing mold.

Add poor kitchen management to her list of nonexistent skills.

And I am sure drawing cockroaches that were mentioned on Below Deck last season.

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My theory with the guests is that they hated the food but didn’t want to come off looking like jerks on camera so never said anything. But, when the cake came out it was so good that they knew it couldn’t be the chef, which is why they asked who baked it.

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On 6/13/2019 at 9:18 AM, Giselle said:

This is the video I was talking about earlier. Looks like it was a video audition. 

Prancing around, no knife skills, no safe food handling, poor cooking skills, poor  resulting dish.

Using an 8" pan she makes a watery sauce that has no body. She doesn't reduce the marinade she made and uses in the sauce. She dumps it in with the shrimp then she adds more soy, more wine, at least a half a cup of safron infused water, then a good amount of cream and tells you not to boil the cream.  It's a watery soup.

When plating this mess she scoops the shrimp, tomato and peas over the squid ink pasta and leaves all the watery sauce behind in the pan. 

She's not a chef much less a cook.

Wow!  I was actually impressed with how she tried to Giada De Laurentiis herself up for this clip! Makeup and a professional hair stylist does wonders for this popeyed girl! Her presentation seemed like Giada would do--i.e. smile at odd moments and camera flirt her way through the thing.  I've seen many tv chefs not clean their hands going from something raw to other ingredients and decided after the show is filmed everything's probably just thrown away.  Time restrictions probably keep them from taking precious seconds lathering up with soap then rinsing and drying when in reality they would do that.  

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Quote

I  think they will use the third stew as a stop gap but the rumor is that they are bringing on Ben which I am not happy about.

Could you please use the spoiler feature in the future? I had purposely not read any of the spoilers/rumors so I could be surprised when I watched the show. Not a big deal...it's only a tv show...just a suggestion for the future. Thanks!

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On 6/13/2019 at 8:02 AM, Thisgirllovespasta said:

Did any one notice when the showed "chef" mila sitting there at the table waiting for the steaks to be microwaved the amount of food/fruit in crates that were just sitting there?

The camera slowly pans over.

Cardboard boxes on a yacht equals cockroaches

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15 hours ago, stcroix said:

Wow!  I was actually impressed with how she tried to Giada De Laurentiis herself up for this clip! Makeup and a professional hair stylist does wonders for this popeyed girl! Her presentation seemed like Giada would do--i.e. smile at odd moments and camera flirt her way through the thing.  I've seen many tv chefs not clean their hands going from something raw to other ingredients and decided after the show is filmed everything's probably just thrown away.  Time restrictions probably keep them from taking precious seconds lathering up with soap then rinsing and drying when in reality they would do that.  

Have you ever been in a restaurant kitchen during dinner rush?

There is not much washing of hands.

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On 6/11/2019 at 12:30 PM, Smokey17 said:

Mila really may have gone to Le Cordon Bleu, but lacks the experience in a professional setting. Just because you went to culinary school does not mean you are a chef. 

It is true that many chefs cannot or hate to bake. But when you are the only one cooking as she is on a ship, you better have some recipes because people will request these things.

And who was it, Adam or Adrian, who had fresh pastries every morning!  Charter chefs before her have shown great expertise and range.

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13 minutes ago, MajorNelson said:

And who was it, Adam or Adrian, who had fresh pastries every morning!  Charter chefs before her have shown great expertise and range.

I forgot who, but they are in France. Order in some pastries on their provision list. Simple tarts can be made as needed. 

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17 minutes ago, MajorNelson said:

Yes, but I was very impressed the chef (previously referred to) made fresh each morning. 

I don’t believe any chef has made pastries every morning, though they did bring in some. Adrian and Adam did both manage to get through breakfast without bitching as much about it as Ben which was nice.

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On 6/12/2019 at 5:22 PM, Giselle said:

Everything she's made comes from a box, a bag, a can, a jar, or a bottle or has an industrial made component. Very little is fresh and  I don't know if she's made any component from scratch. Nothing she's shown us shows her having the kitchen, preparation, nor presentation skills one would have if they actually graduated from their more in-depth programs.

On 6/13/2019 at 10:02 AM, Thisgirllovespasta said:

Did any one notice when the showed "chef" mila sitting there at the table waiting for the steaks to be microwaved the amount of food/fruit in crates that were just sitting there?

The camera slowly pans over.

I mentioned this on Reddit. The reason there is all of this produce sitting out is because the fridges and bilge are filled with processed food. She decorated the cake with whipped cream from a Reddi Whip can. Had she been making whipped cream, she'd have cartons of heavy cream that could be used for sweet and savory uses depending on her needs. However, the Reddi Whip can only be used for sweet dishes and then only as a garnish. So she has to stock both the Reddi Whip and heavy cream. It's the same thing with the salsa. If she makes her own, she simply has to use the ingredients  that they already have stocked. If she uses salsa from a jar, they still have to stock onions, peppers, and tomatoes for every other dish that needs those ingredients. So it seems like they over-ordered, but really Mila ordered a bunk of shit that has no business being there.

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I can't stand Travis Michalzik. He is such a sensitive bitch. If somebody has a different opinion than you handle it like an adult deal with it. I can't wait to see him get kicked off the boat.

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On 6/15/2019 at 6:41 PM, MajorNelson said:

Yes, but I was very impressed the chef (previously referred to) made fresh each morning. 

I think it was Adrian who baked muffins, etc., in the morning.

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On 6/10/2019 at 9:35 PM, pieinmyeye said:

The chef said she moved to France to go to cooking school. Did she actually attend any classes?

She said that she didn't study baking...which seems like it would be hard to avoid at least the basics of baking if she did actually go through a full program at Le Cordon Bleu in Paris.  More and more it's looking like Mila's "studies" there might have been short lived.  Even a chef who hates baking should be able to put out a basic cake if need be.

I wonder what the passengers think when they see these episodes air.  This group was a genuinely nice group of people who treated the crew well and was there to enjoy themselves. They'd have to be giving second thoughts to that tip.

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On 6/11/2019 at 3:30 PM, Smokey17 said:

I work in the food industry and i have worked with many cooks or "chefs" who have gone through culinary school. Most are not worth shit. There is a big difference between cooking at school and actual cooking in a restaurant. 

Mila really may have gone to Le Cordon Bleu, but lacks the experience in a professional setting. Just because you went to culinary school does not mean you are a chef. 

It is true that many chefs cannot or hate to bake. But when you are the only one cooking as she is on a ship, you better have some recipes because people will request these things.

If she's a plant and messing up on purpose, when then they can all fuck off!

Agree on all your points.  She can't even follow a recipe.  There was clearly a piece of paper to which she was referring (and the 3rd stew had one, too).  I'm not knocking using a recipe, for baking you have to unless you've made the same item enough to have memorized it.  Baking is science.   After looking at the video someone linked last week of her trying to do a cooking show, I'm thinking more and more that she has no interest in cooking at all.  Probably saw a few cooking shows and thought she could do that sort of thing, that it looks easy.   An experienced home cook could have planned out a better meal and followed a recipe.  Mila can't.

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23 hours ago, Hiacios said:

I can't stand Travis Michalzik. He is such a sensitive bitch. If somebody has a different opinion than you handle it like an adult deal with it. I can't wait to see him get kicked off the boat.

does he get kicked off?

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On 6/16/2019 at 8:56 PM, Hiacios said:

I can't stand Travis Michalzik. He is such a sensitive bitch. If somebody has a different opinion than you handle it like an adult deal with it. I can't wait to see him get kicked off the boat.

He did handle it like an adult. He said he disagreed with her. He said he didn't want anything to do with her and then he's gone about doing his job. The person has handled this like a child is Mila. She loudly proclaimed her beliefs. When she found out no one else agreed with her and was more than willing to shun her in off hours, she starts spinning apologies. If she wants to loudly proclaim that certain groups don't deserve human rights based on characterizations they cannot change, these are the reactions she should expect. He's sensitive because he's not blase and cavalier about discrimination, torture, and murder of queer people in Russia? 'Cause that shit is actually happening in Russia. What kind of sensitive bitch gets upset over political dissidents getting imprisoned, tortured, and murdered? Or slavery? Jim Crow? Apartheid? Sharia law? Sex trafficking? There's lots of stuff that people have had different opinions on. It doesn't make them sensitive bitches for vocally opposing them.

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(edited)

I always enjoy this forum because I learn about boating. 

It seems we are lucky to have some chefs here to enlighten us as well!

Edited by PumpkinPK
@Giselle @langfordpeel @HunterHunted
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(edited)

I dont feel sorry for Mila the Chef but I do understand her.  I was brought up in Moscow and being homophobic is as natural to her as being accepting is to us.  Its an interesting clash of cultures and she appeared to relish upsetting her crewmates.  Also she didnt appear to be that surprised and upset when she was "let go"? - almost as if she was an actress with a very short contract.  Besides - she didnt look Russian in my eyes - more Mongolian!

Edited by Skylander25
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