S23.E05: Week 5 - Thailand

[Mu Shu]

Nicole and Onyeka. Who is gaslighting who?  

[Adeejay]

I seriously doubt that Onika and Nicole are serious contenders, so he should just cut them both right now.  

[saber5055]

1 minute ago, Mabinogia said:

One season I want the Bachelor to be an English Professor. And I want him to cut anyone who uses improper grammar. It would be the shortest season ever. Probably one ep, max. 

LOL. No kidding. We wouldn't make it past the introductions, no one would make it into the mansion, contestants would be told to turn around and get back in the limo or on their horse they rode in on.

Just now, Adeejay said:

I seriously doubt that Onika and Nicole are serious contenders, so he should just cut them both right now.  

Yes, so they can start packing for their next appearance, BIP.

[fireice13]

I just want one of the girls involved in "she said/she said" to say "you can believe her or you can believe me or you can ask the show for the unedited recording of the conversation we all know they have!"

[JenE4]

3 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

I seriously doubt that Onika and Nicole are serious contenders, so he should just cut them both right now.  

I assume Colton ran off to the producers’ tent like he did last week*—get a car service in here STAT to get them both out of there. Bet he’s sorry he wasted his dramatic immediate booting on that girl last week*.

*Ond or both of these events may have occurred more than a week ago, but whatever—whenever.

[jackjill89]

I haven't liked Demi, but her "I"d like to be a fly on the wall." Followed by someone saying "Demi!" and then her incredulous "What you don't" was comic gold. Her facial expressions were hilarious.

[Mu Shu]

So, we conclude another boring episode of the Virgin Diaries, featureing Shirpas chin of Mystery, and How Hannah Big Tooth got her Groove Back. 

Im sick of Colton acting like a little bitch about girl squabbles.  They’re in a house together synchronizing periods and shit.  Which is probably how Shirpa got her chin bashed.

[saber5055]

9 minutes ago, JenE4 said:

get a car service in here STAT to get them both out of there.

Even better, one of those rickshaw/velotaxis. This is Thailand after all.

[bosawks]

Kirpa and her chin bandage would have a more interesting fight than Nicole and Onyeka.

[saber5055]

Just now, Mu Shu said:

So, we conclude another boring episode of the Virgin Diaries, featureing Shirpas chin of Mystery, and How Hannah Big Tooth got her Groove Back. 

Im sick of Colton acting like a little bitch about girl squabbles.  They’re in a house together synchronizing periods and shit.  Which is probably how Shirpa got her chin bashed.

Best post of the series so far. Well done, @Mu Shu!

[JudyObscure]

I know Onyeka started it all, but once Nicole started that high pitched whine and would not stop even when Colton came over to talk to them, I decided I was on Onyeka's side.  Of course people interrupt you, Nicole!  That's what happens to those whose conversation is one long, never ending, meaningless sentence.

Right now I'm thinking the final two will be Cassie and Hannah G. but last week I thought he hadn't even noticed Cassie so who knows?  What I would really like to see is, after no-one-on-one and never speaking a word to her,  Colton proposes to Bandaid Girl.

[Kiss my mutt]

Really, are “not a virgin’s” family really going to be stunned by this revelation? It’s not like she is a 16 year old girl!

[Mu Shu]

1 minute ago, Kiss my mutt said:

Really, are “not a virgin’s” family really going to be stunned by this revelation? It’s not like she is a 16 year old girl!

I think they would be more shocked if she was.  It was boring when it was Ashley’s calling card, and more so this time around because it’s the focus of the season.

Tayshia is too mature for Colton.  He’s really naive and young. Not that it’s a bad thing, but there it is.  Demi is too mature for Colton.  He’s just sort of plodding and stolid.  

[tinkerbell]

So Never-been-kissed girl and virgin boy meet on the beach.   Girl jumps on him, wraps her legs around his body, squishing her virginal lady-parts on his virginal  stomach.  they ride in a boat, where they have hands ALL OVER each others' virginal thighs, they have their virginal arms entwined for the next few hours.  we get close-ups of virginal lips (and gums and teeth)   And then they talk about all the sex neither of them have had, before they finally get to the point in the date when there are fireworks, so they can finally kiss.  Because a first kiss cannot happen until the fireworks start, right? 

[Ms Blue Jay]

1 hour ago, Mabinogia said:

One season I want the Bachelor to be an English Professor. And I want him to cut anyone who uses improper grammar. It would be the shortest season ever. Probably one ep, max. 

I can't stand all of these women using the word "Literally".  My theory is the Kardashians started it.  This never happened before.  In the days of Seinfeld, Friends, those people NEVER said it.  Check the reruns.  It happened out of nowhere and now EVERYONE says it and it makes me insane.

[thejuicer]

All the other girls can pack their bags and go home because Cassie is “winning” this thing. 

[Lsk02]

I wish I had kept count of how many people were “over it” in this episode. And what I’ve suspected since that phrase became popular is true: it means exactly the opposite of over it. 

[ECM1231]

Besides Kirpa's unfortunately placed bandaid, I'd like to know who the chick was that Colton abruptly left to investigate Nicole and Oyneka's quarrel. I don't think I have ever heard her speak before.

Sydney"s sexual innuendo went over Colton's head. 😄  

Cassie and Colton in the ocean...whoa! Serious lust! I just wish I knew what was drawing him to her, as someone posted upthread. She is not the prettiest one there, imo, so it has to be something. I liked her interaction with him in 1st episode; she was playful and seemed normal. She is more girl next door to me.

Edited February 5, 2019 by ECM1231

[tinkerbell]

18 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

I can't stand all of these women using the word "Literally".  My theory is the Kardashians started it.  This never happened before.  In the days of Seinfeld, Friends, those people NEVER said it.  Check the reruns.  It happened out of nowhere and now EVERYONE says it and it makes me insane.

my college roommate, in the 70's, used to us "literally"  all the time.   And she used it incorrectly every time, saying "literally"  when she meant "figuratively".  

Back on topic, I hate how everyone on a Bachelor show has to misuse pronouns.  Maybe it's a side effect in "being in their heads"  all the time.  Or "doing a cheers"  once too often.  

 

was Elyse wearing a bridal negligee  to break up with Colton? 

Edited February 5, 2019 by tinkerbell

[Lsk02]

6 minutes ago, tinkerbell said:

 

was Elyse wearing a bridal negligee  to break up with Colton? 

It’s a prom dress. I only know this because I have a kid around prom age and I saw it in a store. It was definitely a very expensive “I’m dumping you” gown. Guess she wanted to make sure she got one use out of it! 

[Ms Blue Jay]

27 minutes ago, ECM1231 said:

Besides Kirpa's unfortunately placed bandaid, I'd like to know who the chick was that Colton abruptly left to investigate Nicole and Oyneka's quarrel. I don't think I have ever heard her speak before.

I think her name is Katie.  Very pretty and I think she's athletic.

[Dittohead]

Could someone please enlighten me about Cassie?  What did she do on the first show that was special and unique?  Why did some of the girls make comments tonight about Colton being really enamored with Cassie?  We saw nothing of that in any of the episodes before tonight.  He said he always feels at ease when he's with her.  When did this happen?  And as someone else already mentioned, she really isn't that pretty.  (I think Hannah G is.)   And did Hannah G get a one-on-one with Colton?  I know she got the first impression rose, but did they have a date yet?

[tinkerbell]

Onyeka  says "I'm NOT spreading rumors.  I'm just literally telling him something I was told!"  

yeah, honey, that's kind of the definition of spreading rumors.  

[TomGirl]

I know the editing is meant to fool us, but at this point I can’t imagine anyone other than Cassie for F1.  His body language with her is totally different from all the others.  When he’s kissing most of them, his arms hang limp at his sides.  Occasionally he does some face touching.  But Cassie is the only one he seems to have any real physical attraction to.

[Mint Julep]

Check out Season 2 of “Young Once” a reality show which aired tonight starring Cassie and her on again off again boyfriend of 5 years. Yes, she is on two reality shows airing at the same time.

[ECM1231]

28 minutes ago, Mint Julep said:

Check out Season 2 of “Young Once” a reality show which aired tonight starring Cassie and her on again off again boyfriend of 5 years. Yes, she is on two reality shows airing at the same time.

Wow, really? What network?  So Cassie is wrong reasons, too? Color me surprised! She had me fooled!

[Wandering Snark]

What a date that was! Kissing on a boat, kissing on an island, kissing in the ocean. Kissing IN BED. The Bach saying he's 'crazy about' someone. Sheesh man... that must have require one serious cold shower afterwards. I'm surprised Colton can still walk afterwards.

Contrast the "only kissing" date with the 'When will they kiss?' date. Wow. It was so G-rated that I expected them to walk into a place with a band playing 'Kiss the Girl' from Little Mermaid. (Which, yes, I have to mention is getting called out in today's society *eye roll*) Or to have a spaghetti dinner where they would end up slurping up the same piece of spaghetti. So, who do you think is 'winning' between those two?

Tayshia is trying too hard. In a cute way, but still trying too hard. If you're still doing first-night "tricks" to get the Bach to 'see' you after 5 weeks (the lantern on the beach thing)? I think you just want to 'win'. Question though, how often do you see a Bach tell an 'ette "You made me feel special today!"?

Also I thought that (was it Tayshia?) that the girl who stepped in and clarified that Elyse hadn't actually used those words because she was there and heard her should have stepped in when Colton was listening to the bickering. But I guess she didn't want to be third person in (and afterall let them go down in flames, two less to compete with!). I mean that would have shut the whole thing down, right? That situation was bats though. I'd go with the send both home and tell the other women that is going to be them if they are starting shit. Because you start it? I'll end it. Period.

Edited February 5, 2019 by Wandering Snark

[Andromeda]

1 hour ago, Wandering Snark said:

Also I thought that (was it Tayshia?) that the girl who stepped in and clarified that Elyse hadn't actually used those words because she was there and heard her should have stepped in when Colton was listening to the bickering. But I guess she didn't want to be third person in (and afterall let them go down in flames, two less to compete with!). I mean that would have shut the whole thing down, right?

It was frustrating. I expected Nicole to grab the third girl and go back to Colton. And end it. 

Oneyka was so full of it. She said she never calls people unstable, then called her a psycho to the camera. 

Cassie is clearly the fave. Why did he wait so long to give her a one on one? And when will I get more Hannah G.? I love her. She's adorbs and seems nice. Maybe she can get a Bachelorette gig out of this. 

I don't care for Demi, but leaving for real food and drinks was awesome! Colton isn't Crocodile Dundee, and boy, did he love that hamburger. 

[Sir RaiderDuck OMS]

3 hours ago, Wandering Snark said:

I'd go with the send both home and tell the other women that is going to be them if they are starting shit. Because you start it? I'll end it. Period.

Agreed, and I think Colton's rapidly hitting that point. He didn't sign up for this to play referee, and he's obviously getting sick of it. At least Caelynn and Hannah B. figured it out in time and buried the hatchet.

Other thoughts:

Methinks Heather's gay and doesn't realize it, which is why she dated a dude for eight freaking months and never wanted to kiss him. She's just not wired to feel that way towards a man.

My wife totally called Cassie as Colton's future wife after their 1:1. He hasn't acted that physically attracted towards anyone else on this show.

Did Elyse never watch any seasons of The Bachelor prior to signing up? What did she THINK was going to happen in the weeks after her 1:1?

Does Hannah G. remind anyone else of Carly from BiP (the one who married Evan the Dick Doctor)?

Speaking of BiP, Demi's a total shoo-in for this year's edition.

[DEL901]

3 hours ago, Andromeda said:

 

Cassie is clearly the fave. Why did he wait so long to give her a one on one? And when will I get more Hannah G.? I love her. She's adorbs and seems nice. Maybe she can get a Bachelorette gig out of this. 

 

I think they waited because once the 1-1 happened, it would be clear she was the front runner but far.   Maybe two episodes ago, they were shown interacting on one of the group dates or maybe the pool party, and it was clear he liked her a lot.

[JenE4]

6 hours ago, Dittohead said:

Could someone please enlighten me about Cassie?  What did she do on the first show that was special and unique?  Why did some of the girls make comments tonight about Colton being really enamored with Cassie?  We saw nothing of that in any of the episodes before tonight.  He said he always feels at ease when he's with her.  When did this happen?  And as someone else already mentioned, she really isn't that pretty.  (I think Hannah G is.)  

In the “meet the girls at home segment” in episode one, she just seemed so kind and normal. She’s a speech pathologist and was doing sign language and talking about helping kids. Typically in those intro packages the girls try too hard—yelling into the camera with artificial enthusiasm or making stupid jokes, but she just seemed so natural—not the typical contestant. I do think the show has been keeping her under wraps. I swear last week was the first time I recall her even talking to Colton. A psychic (or, I’m sorry—probably some traditional name I don’t know) told them they were brother and sister in another life, but they were saying they did feel an immediate connection. “Soul mates” for those who believe in that if they’ve known each other throughout eternity? After tonight, it’s cinched—he’s head over heals for her.

6 hours ago, Mint Julep said:

Check out Season 2 of “Young Once” a reality show which aired tonight starring Cassie and her on again off again boyfriend of 5 years. Yes, she is on two reality shows airing at the same time.

Ok, maybe THIS is why Cassie was comfortable in front of the cameras since day 1. What network is this on?? 

[Suzysite]

5 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

Wow, really? What network?  So Cassie is wrong reasons, too? Color me surprised! She had me fooled!

Link

Cassie's bio says she's a strong Christian, so perhaps the Not A Virgin thing is shocking in this context...?

[cryptaknight]

That's interesting about Cassie. Given the nature of the other series, I don't think she's necessarily wrong reasons, though it does shed some light on her weird virginity conversation with Colton. I've liked Cassie since her intro package and mentally made her my frontrunner at that point. I think she's probably a good match for Colton.

[CindyBee]

6 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

Wow, really? What network?  So Cassie is wrong reasons, too? Color me surprised! She had me fooled!

I watched some of Cassie and her 'boyfriend' last night on "Young Once".  She totally screams wrong reasons to me but then who knows.

Direct link to the show:

https://www.youngonce.ca/

Edited February 5, 2019 by CindyBee

[Jax7917]

8 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

Besides Kirpa's unfortunately placed bandaid, I'd like to know who the chick was that Colton abruptly left to investigate Nicole and Oyneka's quarrel. I don't think I have ever heard her speak before.

Sydney"s sexual innuendo went over Colton's head. 😄  

Cassie and Colton in the ocean...whoa! Serious lust! I just wish I knew what was drawing him to her, as someone posted upthread. She is not the prettiest one there, imo, so it has to be something. I liked her interaction with him in 1st episode; she was playful and seemed normal. She is more girl next door to me.

I find Cassie to be the prettiest one by far . Shes gorgeous and very natural looking . But yeah the way these dates always get edited , you’re wondering if these people have had any actual conversation by the time the show ends . Everything is always , “ you’re so amazing “, “ you’re so special to me “. Ok that’s all good and well but show us what makes that person special , stop telling us . 

[JenE4]

1 hour ago, Suzysite said:

Link

Cassie's bio says she's a strong Christian, so perhaps the Not A Virgin thing is shocking in this context...?

 

1 hour ago, CindyBee said:

I watched some of Cassie and her 'boyfriend' last night on "Young Once".  She totally screams wrong reasons to me but then who knows.

Direct link to the show:

https://www.youngonce.ca/

Oh, this is a Christian show/channel?!? No wonder why her non-virginity was a shocking revelation to the masses. I’ll pass.

[Kendra143]

Kirpa was taking a picture of the ocean, slipped on a wet rock and took the fall on her chin. 5 stitches plus a sprained wrist... saw the deleted scene with her explaining what happened. 

[oakville]

11 hours ago, Madding crowd said:

So Elyse thought Colton would just end the show tonight and run off with her? And then saying she can’t accept his proposal- he never said she was getting one. Does she not know how this works? She is beautiful but seems to be really confused as to how The Bachelor works.

Giving the Bachelor an ultimatum when there are 10 other women still competing never works. Elyse should have known this .

[nlkm9]

Im still confused about Elyse---she was heart wrenchingly upset when nbk girl came back all excited from her date, made that awesome comment about having a one on one and how you get handed a cookie, so was her leaving because she really liked Colton and realized she couldnt watch him date and kiss other girls and she wanted to leave before she fell even harder or was she sort of giving him an ultimatum that he had to pick her now or else?

I like Taysha, but she is trying way too hard and I personally think she is adorable but insincere---I heard she had a very serious boyfriend a week or two before bachelor filming.

I would hate to be on a group date with Demi, but man she is funny.

I actually like hannah the pageant girl, but how is she falling in love with Colton? She just wants to beat Caellyn. 

 

  I feel sorry for anyone who is not Cassie---he has to lead everyone else on because she is the one.

[MMLEsq]

8 minutes ago, nlkm9 said:

Im still confused about Elyse---she was heart wrenchingly upset when nbk girl came back all excited from her date, made that awesome comment about having a one on one and how you get handed a cookie, so was her leaving because she really liked Colton and realized she couldnt watch him date and kiss other girls and she wanted to leave before she fell even harder or was she sort of giving him an ultimatum that he had to pick her now or else?

It was hard to follow her point, but what I took away from it was that she wasn't going to have enough one-on-one time with him to be able to accept a proposal in a few weeks.  

Kind of the female equivalent of the bachelor who wasn't going to be ready to propose (Peter?) during Rachel's season.

Edited February 5, 2019 by MMLEsq

[PerfectPrincess]

I was pretty convinced Kirpa burned herself with a curling iron or something, but here's the actual story (according to her, anyway): here

[ShaNaeNae]

2 hours ago, Kendra143 said:

Kirpa was taking a picture of the ocean, slipped on a wet rock and took the fall on her chin. 5 stitches plus a sprained wrist... saw the deleted scene with her explaining what happened. 

I'm surprised they didn't make a production out of that.  You know how much they love to throw in ambulances into "this season on The Bachelor..."

I kinda love Demi too.  Though I do see her in 20 years as a barfly with smokers voice acting the cougar.

Hannah G looks like a direct descendent of Peter Cetera.  It's uncanny. And Caelyn looks like Jessa Duggar.  This is my life, thinking of who looks like what celeb.

Call me crazy, but I think Hannah B is simply gorgeous.  But she's a weirdo and I like weirdos.  

[LBS]

Honestly I’d rather watch Kirpa’s trip to the ER than any of fake tears/fake outrage of Nicole/Onyeka.  That talking head was actually funny!  I’m looking forward to Kirpa being on BIP (not a spoiler.  I just don’t see her going that far).  Demi actually amused me this week.  I know the going back to hotel was producer driven but she pulled it off.  

If I was ever on this show and I knew I wasn’t sparking with the lead, I’d be like Katie.  Keep out of the drama and enjoy the free travel!  I mean com’on they are in Thailand.  Sit back, enjoy the view, and strategize about your IG shilling.

[EVS]

I think Hannah G looks like a young Olivia Newton-John. 

Edited February 5, 2019 by EVS

[tinkerbell]

2 minutes ago, EVS said:

I think Hannah G looks like a young Olivia Newton John. 

Yes, I see that.  But also Reese Witherspoon.  

[EVS]

2 minutes ago, tinkerbell said:

Yes, I see that.  But also Reese Witherspoon.  

I see that too.

[ChiMama]

15 hours ago, saber5055 said:

ow Elyse says walking away was a huge mistake and she really regrets it.

What, is this a rerun? I've seen this act before.

So will she come back in a couple episodes? We've seen that before too.

100% FOR SURE this will happen. This will be greeted with plenty o' conflict & tumult in the house with designated shit-stirrers Demi and Onyeka (if she's still there) leading the "it's not fair" riot. And, for the "most dramatic proposal  EVAH," resurrected Elyse will be Colton's choice in the end (I'm not spoiled), saving him from the anguish of which immature little miss (maybe there just to get out of Miami-Fort Wayne-Little Rock-Tulsa) to choose. They will be engaged for 2 months and break up. The end.

[TheFinalRose]

WHO is producing this show that they did not include Kirpa's injury in the story? Seeing an ambulance in the "This season on the Bachelor" preview is something I look forward to. To know that they decided not to exploit an actual injury is shocking to me. Plus, continuity... they had talking heads of Kirpa with the bandage and without it.

 

THEORY: The producers are so into Colton's ear that they've told him that "exploring" any and all conflicts between the contestants will add to the show. So while Colton is sitting there on the couch with zero screen time Katie, the producers are motioning to Colton to go over to the Bickersons and insert himself.  And Colton, who has PROMISED the producers that he will do whatever he needs to do to ensure a good show, HAS to walk over and sit with them.

But he's growing very pissed at the position he has put himself in as he listens to Nicole yammer without taking a breath and Onyeka deny/admit it all that he walks off and stalks over to the beach to get away from the producers.  I just feel I am watching real-time Colton's struggle within himself for selling out to this show and agreeing to be their puppet and not because he cares so deeply about these lame squabbles. It's all going to culminate in the fence-jump because he's so that person who is easily manipulated. That's what the producers saw in him; that's why he's our Bachelor. 

That date with Cassie on the blob of sand in the middle of the ocean probably only lasted half an hour to forty-five minutes before they packed up and went back to civilization/running water/power outlets.  And I think the producers were in her ear too telling her that telling Colton about her sexual status was a very important topic that will help the relationship progress, and thus she found herself very clumsily revealing something on national tv that she didn't have to.  That's the evil aspect of this show they all naively sign up for: the producers isolate these people, befriend them, and then whisper that they SHOULD do this or that.

Cassie looks so much like Hilary Duff back in her Hannah Montana Lizzie McGuire days. I can totally see Colton zeroing in on her and feeling like he's back in high school and dating Hilary Duff. 

 

Quote

 

was Elyse wearing a bridal negligee  to break up with Colton? 

 

Quote

It’s a prom dress. I only know this because I have a kid around prom age and I saw it in a store. It was definitely a very expensive “I’m dumping you” gown. Guess she wanted to make sure she got one use out of it! 

Yeah, that dress was an odd choice. But I saw a link to the dress elsewhere online and you can get it for $60.00.  She got her close-up in it, however. Elyse struck me as a beyotch on her one on one with Colton so I'm glad she self-destructed. She'll be on BIP I bet. 

Edited February 5, 2019 by TheFinalRose
Because Hilary Duff was Lizzie McGuire not Hannah Montana

[ECM1231]

5 hours ago, CindyBee said:

I watched some of Cassie and her 'boyfriend' last night on "Young Once".  She totally screams wrong reasons to me but then who knows.

Direct link to the show:

https://www.youngonce.ca/

I'm a little bit tech-challenged and don't want to sign up for the free trial.  I'm trying to figure out how I can watch this online as I can't seem to find out if my cable provider carries this station. I have Netflix and Amazon Prime accounts but have not seen it there.  Any ideas?

[TheFinalRose]

You can view season 1 of Young Once on Youtube. It's season 2 that they are making you subscribe to watch.

I watched a little bit of the first episode of season one and ... snore. There's nothing I need to know about Cassie that would make me sit through the rest of the "drama."