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S06.E15: Shame Cocoon


OnceSane
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9 hours ago, LotusFlower said:

I would think in the flood of stories about workplace sexual harassment this year, people would get that the onus shouldn’t be on women to report, instruct, set boundaries, or “handle” a situation.  Yes, those are options, but when you’re being harassed, you’re a victim.  And the scrutiny should never be on the victim and how she responded.  Responsibility lies with companies and places of employment and all men and women to treat each other respectfully and appropriately.

1000%

How many women hear comments like these and just ignore them, for a myriad of reasons? They think they're overreacting, they think maybe it was a one time thing, or maybe reacting could affect their job? Laura has to share a room with Adrian. Maybe she didn't want to make things awkward. Maybe she kept telling herself, "it's just a harmless comment, don't make a big deal about it." But then Adrian is standing RIGHT behind her, repeating an innuendo about his dick. And she's at her breaking point. 

None of this is her responsibility. Adrian should KNOW that you don't behave like that. To anyone. Anywhere. Any time. The thought of making comments about his dick to a co-worker shouldn't even enter his mind. I just cannot fathom in what situation that would be okay. 

7 hours ago, yourmomiseasy said:

I feel like  they must have not shown a lot with the guys.  They were annoying, but didn't seem as horrible to me as the crew seemed to be making them out to be.

The primary was SUPER appreciative at the end. And Josiah even ended up coming around to them. So maybe they were a bit extra, but not intentionally nasty. 

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10 hours ago, biakbiak said:

He made out with another woman and than came home and fucked her, it seemed pretty clear that he was looking for an easy hookup. Like I said last week that is cool if that’s what you both want but Rhylee clearlybwaa pretending to be cool with it and hoping for more and that’s never going to work.

I have no sympathy for her, and that's not just because I never liked her anyway.  Any woman who jumps into bed with a near stranger and expects an instant relationship is laughable.  I was no angel in my youth, but I never expected anything beyond what the night brought.  It's called being smart.

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Ok, regarding Adrian... He's French or, at least, has worked in France, correct ? Because -sorry, not to makes excuses, but to explain- we, in Europe -and mostly in France, Italy, Greece, Spain... latin area, to summarize- and even if it could seem absolutely disgusting or whatever for American people, are really more "open" and prone to that kind of "jokes". Because, YES, it's not viewed as harrasment, but more as flirtng / joking/ whatever.

Harassment exists, of course, but that kind of thing is NOT considered as harassment in that context... And if you don't like it, you just tell the person that you don't wanna play, and that's it.

I don't say it's better or worst. I don't judge neither. But it's how it works here. (and it explains also why I'm sometimes quite in schock with things that "you" -as American- can consider offensive things that we don't even notice here. Once again, not judging anyone, not saying one or the other is better. Just saying that, in some departments, if I can say it that way, we really differ on how we speak and interact with eachother, mostly at work.)

Peace and love for everyone (and NO, I won't make the joke I planned, because I'm not sure it will be perceived as I intended :) )

ETA : but I will illustrate my post, and I'm sure you'll be quite shocked, but it's a real joke here : So, Hubby is a Chef and has his own restaurant. I'm helping sometimes -dishes- but my main job is communcation and other stuff. Long story short : he's go't a waiter. A guy, 60y.o. Really funny, etc. They know eachother for a few years now. But, you know, Chefs are Divas... So when hubby tends to cross the line, the only way I found to calm down everyone in the kitchen is "slapping" the waiter's butt ! Yes, me ! I "slap" the butt of the server. And it works ! Everybody laughs, and the zen is back. And YES, of course, I asked him if he felt uncomfortable with that, and he laughed it off, and said : of course not ! I would have told you at the moment if I were. And NO he didn't said that in fear of being fired or anything...

Edited by Diane Mars
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I wonder how much of this is actually scripted...not the primary so much, I think they just give people big discounts and hope they'll give good stories, but all the crew shenanigans.  They actually have reality show writers who set up the stories and give cues (if not an actual script) to the players.  The idea that they told Adrian to act like a creep in order to generate buzz (especially in the #metoo era), kind of makes sense to me...clearly, they hit a nerve.  And unless Laura is in on it too, why would she *ever* not go straight to the captain or Kate after the meat comment? That was so far over the line you can't see the line.  But if they're treating it like a scripted TV show or movie, then their "characters" are playing a role, including the role of the man in the golden speedo, because again, where in the real world would that ever happen? Except in Hollywood, apparently.

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11 hours ago, LotusFlower said:

Breezy - I almost always agree with you, but not on this.  Adrian’s comments full of sexual innuendo were gross and stupid and inappropriate.  He’s a grown man in the 21st century.  It’s not Laura’s responsibility to teach him how to behave around women.

Earlier in the season, he made a comment to Kate....something along the lines of liking her breasts.  I sent him a tweet asking him if he was serious with that shit in this #MeToo era.  He responded by “liking” my tweet.  I have no idea what that meant.

I feel for Laura, not only does she have to deal with his disgusting behavior during work hours, but she is stuck in a cabin with him at night. If he's this inappropriate when the cameras are on, I can only imagine some of the things he says when they're not around. 

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19 minutes ago, spunky said:

I feel for Laura, not only does she have to deal with his disgusting behavior during work hours, but she is stuck in a cabin with him at night. If he's this inappropriate when the cameras are on, I can only imagine some of the things he says when they're not around. 

Yeah, but his excuse was that he was raised in the Caribbean Islands. That's what I saw on a sneak peek anyway.

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It breaks my heart that this season is almost over, especially considering how long the wait is for next season.  Below Deck Med is not as good and doesn’t completely fill the void.

i cannot believe that heinous bitch primary has a husband. Someone actually married THAT??????? Anyone who throws a real punch at me when I’m trying to nicely wake their drunk mean ass up to go to bed is not going to slide by with that nonsense.  She is a nightmare person who should go on all vacations alone.

i love that Kate and Laura are getting along so well! But it sticks in my craw just a little bit that Lauren’s change in attitude is because she somehow believes that she “won” the CHECK YOURSELF confrontation.  I guess I’ll just have to be satisfied that she probably was embarrassed once she watched the show and realized no one else thought she came out the winner there. Seeing them laughing so hard together after running from the screaming primary, in the same spot where their big argument took place, was the ultimate before-and-after transformation.

Laura has told Adrian before that she doesn’t like his crude comments, and he laughed it off, so this time she had to be more forceful about it and he still doesn’t completely understand why it’s a problem.  He thinks he’s so cute and charming that it’s ok to say these things, but Ashton, who he dogs out for flirting with women, doesn’t make any of them feel grossed out and uncomfortable like he does.  Here’s a hint Adrian: You are saying creepy sexual shut and no women have slept with you on this charter.  Is your strategy working? No, it is not.

i thought Tyler was a total dick to Rhylee, and I’m glad that the answer to “can’t we just go back to banging?” is apparently no.

i agree with Captain Lee that the tip from the departing charter guests was light, especially after they were such a load of work. I’m happy for Josiah that they were kind to him and turned a bad memory into a new, better outlook.

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Can someone enlighten me on why the primary guest was so mad at Chelsea? I swear I have tried to listen to the exchange that sent Chelsea off crying and all I got was that she was supposed to be somewhere at 10:30 and she showed up at 10:39. I felt sorry for her. Krystal is disgusting. 

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10 hours ago, jumper sage said:

Well I just got back from twitter and apparently Laura and Adrian are tight and maybe even knew each other before...........[keeps saying to myself, "just a tv show..."]

@Dance4Life Hug it out??????

Captain Lee is just as strict on Twitter and telling people off.

Totally! @jumper sage

I was just keeping it to the show.  Like, tell Captain Lee already! Or, tell Adrian to ‘check himself’ like she did Kate.

 

On knowing each other. In past seasons there has been cast mates that attended the yacht safety training course together......before flying to film BD on location. 

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1 minute ago, 65mickey said:

Can someone enlighten me on why the primary guest was so mad at Chelsea? I swear I have tried to listen to the exchange that sent Chelsea off crying and all I got was that she was supposed to be somewhere at 10:30 and she showed up at 10:39. I felt sorry for her. Krystal is disgusting. 

Seriously.  That was all I got out of it, too.  And that Chelsea was apologizing for being "ten minutes late", but the primary totally did not accept her apology (she called it fake or something) and went off on her completely.  So much drama over such a little thing!  I don't get it.  

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52 minutes ago, Mr. Minor said:

Yeah, but his excuse was that he was raised in the Caribbean Islands. That's what I saw on a sneak peek anyway.

I call bull on that. I was raised in the Caribbean as well, and the men are not as disrespectful as this clown.  The Caribbean men I know will make comments, but once they get the side eye they know to cut their nonsense out. 

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12 hours ago, LotusFlower said:

Breezy - I almost always agree with you, but not on this.  Adrian’s comments full of sexual innuendo were gross and stupid and inappropriate.  He’s a grown man in the 21st century.  It’s not Laura’s responsibility to teach him how to behave around women.

 

 

This kind of sexual "joking" is rampant in the restaurant world.  As @AttackTurtle pointed out above, kitchen staff get away with murder.  It is pretty much encouraged.  I don't work at a restaurant but I have chef friends, and they say it is crazy how NORMALIZED this is.  I think Tom from Top Chef pointed this out somewhere, too.  It is NOT ok, but it is important to know how accepted and widespread this is in THAT setting.

 

12 hours ago, biakbiak said:

She’s not responsible for teaching him how to behave but she is responsible for either telling him or her supervisor that she finds his comments unacceptable and to set her boundaries particularly in a situation like this where their work and personal lives blend.

In example of her not being clear was when he told her what happened with Josiah and the Speedo and that apparently he was hung, she made a comment that she knew and can always tell when I guy has a big dick and he responded about what she thought about his size, that sends a message that she is okay with having conversations with him like that.

 

YES!  Thank you.  She needs to speak up.  Also, she needs to stop "joking" back like that.  Otherwise, she is sending a signal that she is not only ok with this, but that she likes it and wants it to continue.

 

12 hours ago, Dance4Life said:

There won’t be any water hose.   The girl will get up and go inside. Sorry for spoiling the ending!  🤷🏼‍♀️

 

Just like every "cliffhanger" ending!  I am so annoyed with them - just finish the scene, they are never that good anyway.  I didn't even see how they caught the runaway jet ski.

 

13 hours ago, ihartcoffee said:
  Hide contents

 

So Cameron is going to bird box her way outta this....

 

Who's Cameron?

 

12 hours ago, LotusFlower said:

I would think in the flood of stories about workplace sexual harassment this year, people would get that the onus shouldn’t be on women to report, instruct, set boundaries, or “handle” a situation.  Yes, those are options, but when you’re being harassed, you’re a victim.  And the scrutiny should never be on the victim and how she responded.  Responsibility lies with companies and places of employment and all men and women to treat each other respectfully and appropriately.

 

Right - it shouldn't be, and men should know how to behave.  BUT - not all men were taught to behave this way and honestly, it has been reinforced to a lot of men that joking in that manner is ok and sometimes even expected.  Women need to say something.  I cannot control other people's actions, but I CAN control how I respond.

 

12 hours ago, Pop Tart said:

 

I know she’s not well liked, but Rhylee’s the kind of reality show character that I always find myself rooting for. She’s often her own worst enemy and many of her mistakes have stemmed from insecurity, at least by my read. She’s overeager and charges into things instead of holding back to get the lay of the land. All things I get. So each time she succeeds a little part of me cheers for her.

 

Same!  I am rooting for her!

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Did the guy who put on his preference sheet that he couldn't have lobster say it was because it was of an allergy? If so, I thought it was weird to only list lobster and not all crustaceans. But at the same time if I had seen someone list that they were allergic to lobster, I'd probably assume that they were allergic to all crustaceans because I've never seen anyone who is just allergic to one of the crustaceans and not all of them. Whatever. It was strange all around.

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I am really confused about the primary and Ross - from her instagram, it looks like she is married to a very ugly man named Tim.  She has wedding pictures posted...

 

 

2 minutes ago, HunterHunted said:

Did the guy who put on his preference sheet that he couldn't have lobster say it was because it was of an allergy? If so, I thought it was weird to only list lobster and not all crustaceans. But at the same time if I had seen someone list that they were allergic to lobster, I'd probably assume that they were allergic to all crustaceans because I've never seen anyone who is just allergic to one of the crustaceans and not all of them. Whatever. It was strange all around.

I am allergic to shrimp but not lobster, crab, scallops, etc.  THANK GOD! 

I would think he would have said "shellfish allergy" on his pref sheet.

Edited by heatherchandler
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Cameron = Kamuran, I think.  Because . . . creative spelling run totally amok.

If women don't handle workplace sexual misconduct by speaking up on their own behalf and telling abusive and/or clueless men to cut it the fuck out, the alternative is to kick the problem upstairs to a group of men in a higher position and rely on them to handle it for the weak, incapable women.  Which to my way of seeing things keeps women infantilized and under the protection (or not) of men.  This is not a win as far as I can tell.  Reporting a problem to workplace authorities is only part of the solution.  The arguably more important part is to "open a mouth," as my mother used to say.

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14 minutes ago, heatherchandler said:

I am allergic to shrimp but not lobster, crab, scallops, etc.  THANK GOD! 

I would think he would have said "shellfish allergy" on his pref sheet.

Good to know. Who says the internet is only for porn (the puppets from Avenue Q is who).

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34 minutes ago, heatherchandler said:

I am really confused about the primary and Ross - from her instagram, it looks like she is married to a very ugly man named Tim.  She has wedding pictures posted...

I looked too and that pic of her and Ross is gone but the last picture of the hubs is from something like 31 weeks ago. So maybe they're separated? I'm actually now dying to know. 

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9 minutes ago, esco1822 said:

I have really liked Ross this entire season but his comment to Rhylee above is just gross. 

Between this comment but more his arrest I wonder how much of his nice guy personality on the show is real.

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1 hour ago, 65mickey said:

Can someone enlighten me on why the primary guest was so mad at Chelsea? I swear I have tried to listen to the exchange that sent Chelsea off crying and all I got was that she was supposed to be somewhere at 10:30 and she showed up at 10:39. I felt sorry for her. Krystal is disgusting. 

She would NOT have appreciated the Real Housewives of Atlanta timing for their Tokyo sightseeing then.  Also-I am only apologizing like a whore in the future.

In addition to Kristal's IG being strange with these Ross (and Kasey) pictures, she is also apparently a stay at home dog mom and not an investment banker (I had insomnia last night).  I wonder if Kate saying on Twitter she felt sorry for her husband twice and emphasizing it has anything to do with Ross.  Now I smell a conspiracy and am off to my Facebook groups to see what people found out.

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20 minutes ago, jmcd44 said:

 

In addition to Kristal's IG being strange with these Ross (and Kasey) pictures, she is also apparently a stay at home dog mom and not an investment banker (I had insomnia last night).  I wonder if Kate saying on Twitter she felt sorry for her husband twice and emphasizing it has anything to do with Ross.  Now I smell a conspiracy and am off to my Facebook groups to see what people found out.

 

I thought I remembered someone saying that they felt bad for her husband.  Please let us know what you find!

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Any respect I had for Ross is gone after seeing cosy pictures of him with that atrocious nasally upspeak troll. Even if she was playing up for the cameras, that woman’s voice could shatter glass. Dreadful woman.

 

As for Rhylee. She  had sex with a bro-douche, and misinterpreted his p visiting her v on a regular basis as true romantic interest. Been there, done that, and no longer buying that T-shirt. 

 

Adrian has meat? I’m was guessing it was more of a gherkin pickle.

Edited by Barbara Please
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15 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

I think Adrian didn’t really understand that the “meat” comment to Lauren was inappropriate. I would feel uncomfortable in a small kitchen working with him and all of his sexual innuendos. 

I really do not like Adrian.  I find these interactions gross and I hate that someone has to be told to quit talking about their dick or to stop the sexual innuendos.  Doesn't every employee have to take those sexual harassment classes yearly?  Everyone I know does.  

14 hours ago, LotusFlower said:

Breezy - I almost always agree with you, but not on this.  Adrian’s comments full of sexual innuendo were gross and stupid and inappropriate.  He’s a grown man in the 21st century.  It’s not Laura’s responsibility to teach him how to behave around women.

Earlier in the season, he made a comment to Kate....something along the lines of liking her breasts.  I sent him a tweet asking him if he was serious with that shit in this #MeToo era.  He responded by “liking” my tweet.  I have no idea what that meant.

Exactly

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4 hours ago, Alonzo Mosely FBI said:

Agree, but he does make for an interesting character for this show, his accent, his island vibe, emaciated Vegan, Zen yoga thing- he is like a boutique hotel- perfect in a small setting and on a chartered yacht. The wealthy pay for that pastiche, good food isn't enough it's the exclusivity and the added character they eat it up. Would they rather that nice Canadian chef whose name I don't remember or this cat on their yacht- if the cooking skills were equal they would pick Adrien every time for the backstory.  HOWEVER.....  His creeper horn dog, unwelcome sexual innuendo has no place anywhere there. Part of his problem, I think is he is immature and didn't grow up with a lot of boundaries. What he says to Laura is not OK and should be stepped on by Cap. 

It's ironic that he seemed uncomfortable with the creeper guest who was crushing on him (Vampira lady), but that's what he does in spades to others but in a much more blunt and vulgar way.

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49 minutes ago, njbchlover said:

Did anyone else's Josiah love go up a few more points when he was taking out the trash and singing to himself??  He is too adorable!  :-)

Yes! And from anyone else, his tale of Rhylee and Tyler on the road would have irritated me as snobbish commentary, but for some reason I found his telling delightful, perhaps because he was so giddy about it.

Re: the IG post above.... Ugh. Laura. Yes none of us can relate to #yachtlife. None of us who have been creeped out on the job would’ve been creeped out EVEN IF we saw the other half of the fact. Even guy friends can’t occasionally turn out to be creepers. *eyeroll*

Edited by ivygirl
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So much drama over such a little thing!  I don't get it.  

In fairness, Below Deck wouldn't exist without "so much drama over such a little thing."  The tweets from Laura and Adrian are interesting.  I'm not exactly shocked if the show was edited to make Adrian's comments look much worse than they were. 

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4 hours ago, noveltylibrary said:

I have no sympathy for her, and that's not just because I never liked her anyway.  Any woman who jumps into bed with a near stranger and expects an instant relationship is laughable.  I was no angel in my youth, but I never expected anything beyond what the night brought.  It's called being smart.

I didn't really get the impression that Rylee EXPECTED a relationship, just that she would have liked one. And Tyler could have let her know his intentions in a much nicer, less confusing, way than taking her out to a nice, private dinner and then  laying on the "I'm just enjoying being single" shtick so thickly. 

I still maintain that when they were both asking each other about post-yachty plans it DID sound like he was feeling her out as much as she was feeling him out. So his extreme reaction to her idea that they go in on a boat together seemed a bit much. 

1 hour ago, jmcd44 said:

 Also-I am only apologizing like a whore in the future.

I'm now interested in taking classes on how to apologize like a whore. 

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3 hours ago, Irritable said:

It breaks my heart that this season is almost over, especially considering how long the wait is for next season.  Below Deck Med is not as good and doesn’t completely fill the void.

i cannot believe that heinous bitch primary has a husband. Someone actually married THAT??????? Anyone who throws a real punch at me when I’m trying to nicely wake their drunk mean ass up to go to bed is not going to slide by with that nonsense.  She is a nightmare person who should go on all vacations alone.

i love that Kate and Laura are getting along so well! But it sticks in my craw just a little bit that Lauren’s change in attitude is because she somehow believes that she “won” the CHECK YOURSELF confrontation.  I guess I’ll just have to be satisfied that she probably was embarrassed once she watched the show and realized no one else thought she came out the winner there. Seeing them laughing so hard together after running from the screaming primary, in the same spot where their big argument took place, was the ultimate before-and-after transformation.

Laura has told Adrian before that she doesn’t like his crude comments, and he laughed it off, so this time she had to be more forceful about it and he still doesn’t completely understand why it’s a problem.  He thinks he’s so cute and charming that it’s ok to say these things, but Ashton, who he dogs out for flirting with women, doesn’t make any of them feel grossed out and uncomfortable like he does.  Here’s a hint Adrian: You are saying creepy sexual shut and no women have slept with you on this charter.  Is your strategy working? No, it is not.

i thought Tyler was a total dick to Rhylee, and I’m glad that the answer to “can’t we just go back to banging?” is apparently no.

i agree with Captain Lee that the tip from the departing charter guests was light, especially after they were such a load of work. I’m happy for Josiah that they were kind to him and turned a bad memory into a new, better outlook.

Yes, yes he was, five times!

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2 hours ago, jmcd44 said:

She would NOT have appreciated the Real Housewives of Atlanta timing for their Tokyo sightseeing then.  Also-I am only apologizing like a whore in the future.

In addition to Kristal's IG being strange with these Ross (and Kasey) pictures, she is also apparently a stay at home dog mom and not an investment banker (I had insomnia last night).  I wonder if Kate saying on Twitter she felt sorry for her husband twice and emphasizing it has anything to do with Ross.  Now I smell a conspiracy and am off to my Facebook groups to see what people found out.

How is that done? I ask because I want to know if that's how I have been apologizing my whole life or if I need to learn?

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How is that done? I ask because I want to know if that's how I have been apologizing my whole life or if I need to learn?

I presume it's an apology given on your knees while someone throws money at you. 

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5 hours ago, dangwoodchucks said:

Am I the only one wondering how they corralled that wayward jet ski? I mean, is it still out there riding around, or did Capt Lee lasso it in?

I really wish they had shown this. I *think* one of the blond guys (I can't tell them apart either) was shown in the distance driving it back while Captain Lee was yelling at the guests. But HOW he got it was left unshown. That seems just about impossible to manage.

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This was a great season.  

I'm team everyone - even Caroline provided she continues with her therapy.  I loved how Rhylee finally acknowledged that her anger played a role in the problems she was having.  She'll be better off in life accepting that nugget.

I even liked Laura at the end since she turned herself around.  I also like the fact that Kate let her be better.  She didn't hold a grudge.

Also, I don't think the chef is a creepy as he came off.  Here is a nice post from Laura about him and her.  Kate retweeted it which I image suggests she has similar sentiments.

Can't wait for the reunion.

 

Edited by Jextella
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1 hour ago, dleighg said:

I really wish they had shown this. I *think* one of the blond guys (I can't tell them apart either) was shown in the distance driving it back while Captain Lee was yelling at the guests. But HOW he got it was left unshown. That seems just about impossible to manage.

I assumed it just ran out of gas. 

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2 hours ago, txhorns79 said:

 

Quote

How is that done? I ask because I want to know if that's how I have been apologizing my whole life or if I need to learn?

I presume it's an apology given on your knees while someone throws money at you. 

 

I’ve been wasting my life! Also don’t ask Chelsea. She was apparently unsuccessful. 

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8 hours ago, Irritable said:

It breaks my heart that this season is almost over, especially considering how long the wait is for next season.  Below Deck Med is not as good and doesn’t completely fill the void.

Yep!  You can tell it is the hit Bravo show since they keep running the current and past seasons around the clock.  Can't sleep?  Turn on Bravo and see old seasons.

1 hour ago, Jextella said:

This was a great season.  

I tweeted Josiah that he should come back.

Has anyone gone on the after show to see if they jet ski was explained?  Ok, I'll do it.

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