Season 2 Discussion

[Eric]

Ximena is a very fine and beautiful woman Wow! I hope Ricky will not screw up with this one, she's a keeper.

I still don't trust Hazel at all...She looks very shady.

[Frozendiva]

Jesse, people don't like change. They don't want to change and won't change unless something happens to them. Darcey is a human being and not some fixer upper project for you. You are a smug 24 year old who needs to suffer his lumps a bit and grow up. Darcey, get the teeth and bags and hair dye for yourself. You may just stay in the she ain't pretty she just looks that way stage. Both you and Jesse are better off without each other.

Rachel, is marrying Jon going to fix things for you? Lucy is a nice and cute little diversion for a bit. You really don't know this man, and the two week honeymoon period in the UK, complete with Christmas lights, is not showing either of you who you really are. He has a criminal record - whether he can be pardoned or given some assistance by US immigration is unknown. You are dealing with a man who had a very violent background. He may have put that behind him, he may not. Your life is not together, really. Is he an escape for you? You also don't need a big, fancy wedding dress for wedding #2. Lots of nice cocktail dresses at the shops and even at consignment stores.

Hazel, if that rich Japanese dude exists, dump Tarik and marry him.  Save Tarik from wondering why you chose him when someone better was on offer. The Japanese dude, if he is real, can easily support your child. Tarik hasn't probably mentioned that he has a special needs child and that should be put on the table. I doubt you 'love' him. You can't stand him and his only offer is life in an imagined America. Which his life, ain't. There is something a bit shady, smelly about her.

Pole, you stupid food with these folks. Karine is probably pulling a good one on you. Hate to see what happens if you get violent.

Marta, the Algerian dude is most likely not Mr. Right. Both of you will need to make some changes and compromises.  He may be 'hot' but that is about it. He may have some very inflexible expectations and assumptions. I find it really strange that none of these folks can meet their 'love' halfway and share expenses. Granted, there is a power and money inequity for most of these folks and a lot of assumptions on the less affluent end that the American is loaded and has a massive bank account.

I guess that Ricky didn't expect that the Colombian love of his life #2 wouldn't be so feisty, or smart, or take him on. Ximena is not going to be subservient to you, Ricky. And she will wonder if #3 is somewhere in the wings. In case you wish to replace her. Go home and start all over.. Maybe pay for a ticket for her to visit you and hope she meets a decent, worthy man in the US.

Michael, for all your scammy self, you are far too decent and nowhere near being Azan or Mohammed. Grangela is not the right target for you and you will not like living in the US, selling your soul to make her happy. The price isn't worth it. She's ill-mannered and very much an ugly American (I am Canadian). You are not her Mr. Right, but can be her servant, Angela has many things to resolve on her own before she can find any decent guy.

[Adeejay]

5 minutes ago, Frozendiva said:

Hazel, if that rich Japanese dude exists, dump Tarik and marry him. 

I highly doubt a rich Japanese man would marry a poor, Filipina, single mom.  If Tarik falls for that then he is stupider than he looks. 

[iwasish]

4 hours ago, Honey said:

True, I have never been the jealous type, but I don't see anything wrong with him getting his rocks off while we're apart.  I probably wouldn't do it too, just because sex doesn't really mean much to me.  I could really care less what he does when I go back to the US.  The only risk is that he may fall in love with someone else, and if that happens, then a major problem is solved.

I think the difference is that she IS concerned about him stepping out and would be upset if he left her for someone else. IMO, the fact that Jon has had the kind of relationships that were not monagamy based scares Rachel, because monagamy is so important to her. If he had said he had a lot of relationships but that they were commitment based even if only for a brief time, she would be a bit less stressed.

Edited September 24, 2018 by iwasish

[Toaster Strudel]

She did cut the steak on the bias; the juices were kept in; despite these auspicious and favorable outcomes, the #twinflames have been extinguished, and the embers have grown cold on the Netherlander side.

Being a peerless gentleman with a chivalrous devotion to good manners and adherence to the customs of the land, Herr Jesse sets out to humiliate Desperate Darcey one last time, and because it's the last time, no effort will be spared to debase her completely. Jesse has "no choice," Mission: Final Destruction cannot be carried out with trifling apps like Facetime, random gym friend who has only heard Jesse's side of the story! Darcey refuses to change into a different person, and there was a horrible incident (maybe that cat fight with her twin sister she got arrested for) that shall not be described.

With meticulous attention to detail and exquisite cruelty, he goes through the expense of flying to New York and arranging to meet with her in a quiet park. He knows she won't take this casually and show up in overalls and a checkered shirt covered in mustard because she grabbed a hot dog from a street vendor on her way to meet him. Perhaps anticipating a proposal, or wishing to make sure he doesn't forget to propose, she comes already dressed in all white. #WhiteInspiration A jacket made of snowballs, glam sunglasses, her titties half out and lifted up into her chin, brand new veneers, fresh makeup in neutral shades (because he doesn't like makeup), and 6" stilettos will make an impression that will be remembered for a lifetime, and is instagram-ready. With 42 different pieces of luggage, she is all kitted up for a very memorable meeting and ready for overnight stays. Surely, he is going through the effort of a 7 hour flight for something momentous. Her trek is a long, arduous one. Up and down multiple flights of stairs in heels and carrying her luggage in batches up those stairs because even the best mule can only carry so much, long stretches on public transit trains where all her stuff takes up the space of four people, yes it's a struggle, but it will be worth it! This mysterious rendez-vous is several rungs above an #AppreciationRing at the windmills in terms of preparation, time and financial investment.

Next week's preview: she rushes out of the taxi shouting "get out of my life!!!" - probably light-hearted ribbing after enthusiastically accepting his most welcome proposal!

[iwasish]

35 minutes ago, HappyDancex2 said:

Coming in a future episode babe.  More time to work on yourself babe

Every week I think Big Ang can't surprise me any more and she delivers each time.  Whether it's the fry level of her hair or the exposure level of her backless tops and plunging boob wranglers she is a truly a TLC gift that keeps on giving.  In this 2 weeks of filming she is getting more wrinkled and dried out like fruit leather and Michael has aged 18 years.

And that cake.  Yikes that cake.   I'm surprised she just didn't dip her paw in it and stuff it in her maw like a big bear.   I am horrified.   But then I had to imagine her putting frosting somewhere in one of michael's parts or cracks and I had to run screaming from the room.

There was no Roni here tonight.

I was scared cause  I thought she was talking about putting it somewhere on her own body, not that there would be much left of it by the time they got home.

[Frozendiva]

12 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

I highly doubt a rich Japanese man would marry a poor, Filipina, single mom.  If Tarik falls for that then he is stupider than he looks. 

I'd wish her the best and congratulate her. Dodged a bullet.

She has shown zero interest in Tarik, asked him very little if anything about his life, his hopes and dreams, what life is like in America - it certainly isn't what Hollywood movies show.

[Oldcrone]

What the hell is with Rachel’s friends eyeliner???? NOT a good look on her.  Alice Cooper wouldn’t even wear makeup like that ?????????

[Frozendiva]

When I have travelled internationally, some chivalrous man or two have always helped me lug my bags up the steps at the subway stations. Nope, I wasn't in killer stilettos and some bizarre outfit, but someone usually showed me some kindness and I was greatly appreciative to them. No one helped Darcey lug her bags up the steps?

[wheresmypizza]

Wow! Our Ang goes from despondent to YAY, CAKE! faster than a jackrabbit on a date.

Karine is '4 to 6 weeks' preggs? HAAAAAAAAA! That kid already has hair.

Jesse dumping this thirsty chick in the most humiliating way possible is my everything. Her lugging her suitcase up those stairs in her stupid outfit will get me through the week. Did she think he was going to whisk her off on some magical, whirlwind, steak-on-the-bias getaway? Sadly, yes.

[Toaster Strudel]

Sext Nigerian wants "sweet Angela" to come back - but "sweet Angela" is a figment of his imagination facilitated by distance and internet sorcery. Georgia Ass accuses Mahkul of lying, but concedes that she told him "horrible things and that's not right" but she has no personal responsibility because "that's what [she's] like when [she's] hurt." See Mahkul, she only gonna beat yo ass cuz she be hurtin'! She be hurtin' more than you!

Why is it suddenly dawning on her that he only wants to come to America, instead of before she boarded that plane, or when she saw "Nigeria" on his Facebook page? Maybe his unctuous obsequiousness is giving it away? He is clever: he correctly figured out that the way to ingratiate himself with her was to feed her a whole cake with boat loads of frosting. Did he make a special order for a nicotine shortcake? Her eyes grew round, her pupils dilated, and her jaw dropped with delight - wasting no time grabbing the largest ladle and digging in, paying no heed to the time-wasting, prissy habit of cutting it with a knife in wedges and sharing it with Mahkul. Kudos to the cameramen who lingered on the ravaged cake for our ahem, education!

You know it's real love when Mahkul complains about wasting his time and effort with Georgia Ass if he ends up "stuck in Nigeria" so bitterly that he forgets to mention his broken heart.

It's a testament to how much the relationship has degraded that, when she suggested covering his dick in icing and sucking it off in gratitude, she was just phoning it in. Maybe it's because he told her "you're like a mother to me" - this is the last thing you want to hear from the guy whose boner you've been riding ragged.

Normally I don't care for High Definition TV technology, but I'd wager that many viewers that have seen Georgia Ass' desiccated grimace in all her raisin glory have been inspired to stop smoking cold turkey.

Garbage Gnome and Karaoke Rachel were super boring, even the titillating tidbit to get us watching again next week had Rachel whining that she can't trust him because she only met him once. Yamn, and duh. You know the segment is boring when the only exciting thing is her friends Halloween eye liner.

PyroPole needs his mom to tell him whether he should remain married. Is anyone surprised Oily Kriny is pregnant? Me neither. She genuinely seemed worried, those micro expressions can't be faked. Before the doctor told her she was pregnant, she had 15 pimples, but right after, she sprouted 40 more. Their wedding was like a funeral: the pregnancy reveal like a burial. Fun fun fun at the Amazonian branch of the Staehle family.

Tarik (who enigmatically refers to himself as "Black Anthony Bourdain" on his IG) is dejected that Hazombie isn't putting out, and only allowing pecks on the cheek while turning her face away in visible revulsion. Why, it's a punch to the gut! He hugs her and she puts her folded arm between them to create distance. Poor Tarik, just kidding. Even in the water, finally telling him she loves him (she knows she MUST utter these words if she wants to go to America) with her usual flat affect, she backed away out of his octopus arms' reach. "I finally have what has been elusive to me my whole life" he gushes, sounding completely daft. Really? He has a child from another woman, yet he's talking like an incel. I don't get this moron.

Ximena disappointed me when she "forgave" Penis Brain - and I was further saddened when she said he was the only one she was chatting up online (I'm not sure I believe it). The burning question is, does she know he's still married and cannot apply for a K1 visa? In next week's preview, Ricky's adventures in Columbia accelerate as he finally proposes to Plan Q.

Edited September 24, 2018 by Toaster Strudel

[Toaster Strudel]

Pole Dancing Marta and "Devout" Daya should have been cut out of the show. Why are they even there? Her being a Catholic is a bigger deal to him than her being a stripper. BYE!

Edited September 24, 2018 by Toaster Strudel

[wheresmypizza]

Plan Q.

*dies*

[Stacee]

You know that feeling when you're in a room that smells bad and you are counting the seconds until you are out and away from it? That's how Hazel always looks when she is around Tariq.  

Could someone please give Rachel a box of tissues? That constant dabbing her tears with her fingers is so annoying. Or maybe its her constant crying. 

I can't believe Darcy gets her hair professionally done. Ew.

Actually her whole look is ew. 

I really like Xinema. 

[charmed1]

How old is Darcey’s dentist? He has the same haircut as BH 90210’s number one nemesis, John Sears. 

The Karine pregnancy speculation makes me think of the Mormon, Hilary Swank look-a-like who brought back the girl from Russia. Old girl couldn’t even pretend that baby belonged to Hilary Swank.

[TrininisaScorp]

Who gets medical test information over a cell phone?!  Imma call bullshit on that.  Plus, the person on the line didn't even sound like the doctor from the clip we saw.  I call shenanigans!  IMO Karine KNEW she was pregnant and she got a friend to call (conveniently) as she is with Paul to share.  4-5 weeks is utter and complete bullshit. She was pregnant before he got there.  And, I would feel bad for the sucker in this mess, but with Paul?  Nah.  Fuck that guy.  Deal with your life now, dude.

Marta and Daya are useless.  Like.  Why?!  They can communicate even less than anyone on we've seen on the show so far.  She seems dim (do ppl do no research into travel before they book a ticket?!), and he comes off very quickly as a hot, but controlling douche.  

Hilter Youth

Spoiler

TOTS found out about the assault situation between Darcey and her sister, right?

  Darcey screams nothing but utter desperation every time we see her.  It makes me very uncomfortable, and I hope her young daughters have other female role models in their lives. 

The beach is beautiful, but Tarik and Hazel ruin everything!!  They are so uncomfortable, and Hazel isn't even trying very hard.  That ILY was like me ordering a burger and asking Tarik for no onion or mayo.  

I finally figured out why I can't with Rachel:  She's such a Debbie Downer "me me me" type.  She has a not terrible life with 2 healthy kids and a roof over her head, and she's so Eeyore about everything.  "I love that my kids are here together...but...**whomp whomp** I wish I was in the UK with Punchy McPuncherson."  Her self esteem issues are understandable, but, damn, she isn't "crane lift out of house" big....she can change her diet and workout a bit, and be fine.  If John wanted a blonde, blue eye Gisele looking chick and she has concerns about that, they should have discussed THAT in the UK.   Also, I feel like the US government is gonna frown upon 60 convictions for fighting including 1 that includes hurting someone permanently.  BUT.  I still think crawling Lucy is the sweetest thing ever!

You know what?  I like Ximena.  She's attractive, and seems to know who she is, what she wants, and what she won't deal with.  Plus, I feel like she's gonna fuck with Ricky to give him some payback for being a ginormous asshat.  I'm really looking forward to that b/c I genuinely dislike Ricky.  Dick. 

MAGAngela and that cake is really the poster for what some people think America is, right?  I have literally never in my 35 years, living in the US and out of it, travelling around the world, seen someone eat a GD cake like that.  It was like a trainwreck; I couldn't look away. 

Not that I have interest in seeing them....did I miss the conclusion of Corny and Antonio in NYC?  Like, is that done already?

[Spike]

2 hours ago, Adeejay said:

The fact that Karine is already showing, tells me she is more than "four to five weeks" pregnant.

Hazel is either a master manipulator or Tarik is just plain dumb. 

Michael sure knows the way to his girl's heart. 

She missed having her cake.  I wonder if she keeps them around regardless of special occasions.  Many adults find cake icing too sweet, but cigarettes dull the palate.

[Spike]

1 hour ago, Oldcrone said:

What the hell is with Rachel’s friends eyeliner???? NOT a good look on her.  Alice Cooper wouldn’t even wear makeup like that ?????????

It was like some caricature of Dragon Lady makeup.  Or the cadaver of Amy Winehouse.

33 minutes ago, MrFluffy said:

Darcey, if you need veneers "re-fitted," you have a horrible dentist. Once in, they should last a lifetime.

The dentist was young and handsome.  He will be her new mark after Jesse bids adieu.

[Spike]

17 minutes ago, Stacee said:

You know that feeling when you're in a room that smells bad and you are counting the seconds until you are out and away from it? That's how Hazel always looks when she is around Tariq.  

Could someone please give Rachel a box of tissues? That constant dabbing her tears with her fingers is so annoying. Or maybe its her constant crying. 

I can't believe Darcy gets her hair professionally done. Ew.

Actually her whole look is ew. 

I really like Xinema. 

She gets her hair done by her “cousin.”  Did you notice all the trash in the street outside the dentist’s office?  Shame on you CT liitterbugs.  Then there was trash blowing across the parking lot of the Albuquerque bridal shop.  The Indian Chief is crying somewhere.

16 minutes ago, TrininisaScorp said:

Who gets medical test information over a cell phone?!  Imma call bullshit on that.  Plus, the person on the line didn't even sound like the doctor from the clip we saw.  I call shenanigans!  IMO Karine KNEW she was pregnant and she got a friend to call (conveniently) as she is with Paul to share.  4-5 weeks is utter and complete bullshit. She was pregnant before he got there.  And, I would feel bad for the sucker in this mess, but with Paul?  Nah.  Fuck that guy.  Deal with your life now, dude.

Marta and Daya are useless.  Like.  Why?!  They can communicate even less than anyone on we've seen on the show so far.  She seems dim (do ppl do no research into travel before they book a ticket?!), and he comes off very quickly as a hot, but controlling douche.  

Hilter Youth

  Reveal hidden contents

TOTS found out about the assault situation between Darcey and her sister, right?

  Darcey screams nothing but utter desperation every time we see her.  It makes me very uncomfortable, and I hope her young daughters have other female role models in their lives. 

The beach is beautiful, but Tarik and Hazel ruin everything!!  They are so uncomfortable, and Hazel isn't even trying very hard.  That ILY was like me ordering a burger and asking Tarik for no onion or mayo.  

I finally figured out why I can't with Rachel:  She's such a Debbie Downer "me me me" type.  She has a not terrible life with 2 healthy kids and a roof over her head, and she's so Eeyore about everything.  "I love that my kids are here together...but...**whomp whomp** I wish I was in the UK with Punchy McPuncherson."  Her self esteem issues are understandable, but, damn, she isn't "crane lift out of house" big....she can change her diet and workout a bit, and be fine.  If John wanted a blonde, blue eye Gisele looking chick and she has concerns about that, they should have discussed THAT in the UK.   Also, I feel like the US government is gonna frown upon 60 convictions for fighting including 1 that includes hurting someone permanently.  BUT.  I still think crawling Lucy is the sweetest thing ever!

You know what?  I like Ximena.  She's attractive, and seems to know who she is, what she wants, and what she won't deal with.  Plus, I feel like she's gonna fuck with Ricky to give him some payback for being a ginormous asshat.  I'm really looking forward to that b/c I genuinely dislike Ricky.  Dick. 

MAGAngela and that cake is really the poster for what some people think America is, right?  I have literally never in my 35 years, living in the US and out of it, travelling around the world, seen someone eat a GD cake like that.  It was like a trainwreck; I couldn't look away. 

Not that I have interest in seeing them....did I miss the conclusion of Corny and Antonio in NYC?  Like, is that done already?

Karine will tell Paul babies inherit their mother’s skin color.

[Ijustwantsomechips]

So none of my people of color are going to mention that jar of Doo Gro in Tarik’s shaving kit? It doesn’t appear to be working. 

[magemaud]

1 hour ago, Toaster Strudel said:

Tarik (who enigmatically refers to himself as "Black Anthony Bourdain" on his IG) 

Anthony Bourdain would have scarfed down that duck embryo with gusto. 

[RedBagWithMakeup]

The summation of this episode is: a bunch of lying liars promise to never lie again, and their marks future fiances believe them.

I agree with everyone who said Angela's appearance gets more egregious with each episode. And the mental picture of what she plans to do with some of the frosting from the cake has me traumatized. Ewwww!

Darcey wins the award for Most Desperate Person Ever.

Has Rachel been taking sad sack lessons from David Poor??

Marta.....good Lord. They need to start teaching Common Sense and How To Spot Red Flags in schools.

Hazel and Tarik , poor Hazel is trying hard to not vomit any time Tarik touches her,

Ricky is disgusting. All these jerks promising they will never lie again make me twitch.

Editing to add Pole and Karine! I could kind of see his side in terms of feeling used (what did he expect?), but it's obvious that he's been more than a little grumpy. Karine and her mom are unwilling to endure any more of it. Must be really bad. 

Edited September 24, 2018 by RedBagWithMakeup

[RedBagWithMakeup]

I just have to make a separate post about Mahkul. So he openly admits that he's been working to gain her trust for over a year. That if Angela leaves, all his hard work is for naught and he will be stuck in Nigeria. 

But he's not a Nigerian scammer....

I almost died when he told Angela she's like a mother to him. Ha! I was waiting for her to deck him or at least smack him with her purse, but she didn't even flinch!

And what was with him smacking her in the face with her duffel bag when they were in the car?

I can't help but wonder what might happen to Giant Jugs if she didn't have a camera crew with her.

Edited September 24, 2018 by RedBagWithMakeup

[MegD]

2 hours ago, MrFluffy said:

Darcey, if you need veneers "re-fitted," you have a horrible dentist. Once in, they should last a lifetime.

I wonder if she's using something like Lumineers that don't require the tooth grinding that traditional veneers do, which I've seen patients come in to my Dad's office with having partially popped off, especially with receding gums and poor care. It's nuts how the bonding light isn't as effective with everyone as it should be. It could also be that she was still in her "trial smile" period where the veneers aren't fully bonded to the teeth so that if things aren't perfect, they can be changed before becoming permanent. Dad doesn't do veneers often. He'll do them when there's a reason for the tooth to be covered (like when a kid hits their face and a front permanent tooth dies and becomes grey) but does not generally go beyond one or two teeth at a time. 

[loki310]

Kudos to Rachel’s ex for not letting his daughter appear on this show. He seems a lot more sensible than the British guy.

These people are so stupid. We need some regular people - no strippers, no google translators, no veneers, no babies calling ransoms dada, no Melissas,  no loud mouth crepey big boobed ladies... just regular normal people.

[renatae]

Most anticlimactic moment: Karine is pregnant! Most disappointing: Grangela is still in Nigeria. Funniest: Lucy's dubious expression in the promos when Rachel says she wants the reunion to go well. Most cussworthy: Marta being so clueless that her "relationship" is nothing like she is assuming it will be. What? He is offended by your cross to the extent he hangs up on you? Guess what he will want when you let him know Catholicism is "important" to you. Dolt.

Ximena is so bummed about being Plan B that I expect an inquisition and explosion when she hears the answer to "Did you buy this ring for Melissa?" Maybe that's why she demands he jump in the water when he can't swim. Now she's looking scary.

My biggest interest is in the promos. What did Jesse learn about Darcy while he was in Amsterdam? What did Rachel learn about Jon?

[renatae]

4 hours ago, wheresmypizza said:

Karine is '4 to 6 weeks' preggs? HAAAAAAAAA! That kid already has hair.

LOL! I assume that while Pole was not consulting his translator app, someone asked the doctor's office to fudge the results. Actually I'm rather doubtful that they did a quantitative analysis, which estimates length of pregnancy by hcg levels, rather than just a qualitative analysis, which just gives a pregnant or non-pregnant result.

[Quof]

6 hours ago, CoachWristletJen said:

It never occurred to her to ask the waiter for a knife and some plates?

The cake was Angela-sized.  Like the Darcey-sized carrot cake.

[Quof]

6 hours ago, MrFluffy said:

OK, something's off with the Darcy/Jesse airport scene.

And last night, when Jesse's plane was taxiing, they showed a United plane on the runway. United doesn't fly to/from JFK. 

[KateHearts]

On 9/22/2018 at 8:08 PM, guilfoyleatpp said:

I don't think either one of the two people on the show ever used the word "adultery," so I'm not going to touch that topic. Not everyone is Christian, or religious even. 

adultery isn't a religious term.

[LocalGovt]

8 hours ago, endure said:

Nothing new here except Karine is confirmed pregnant.

Yes...4 or 5 weeks. I wonder if that is just based on her telling the doctor when her last period was.  What type of dr's office pregnancy test takes 2 hours??

3 hours ago, renatae said:

Most anticlimactic moment: Karine is pregnant! Most disappointing: Grangela is still in Nigeria. Funniest: Lucy's dubious expression in the promos when Rachel says she wants the reunion to go well. Most cussworthy: Marta being so clueless that her "relationship" is nothing like she is assuming it will be. What? He is offended by your cross to the extent he hangs up on you? Guess what he will want when you let him know Catholicism is "important" to you. Dolt.

Ximena is so bummed about being Plan B that I expect an inquisition and explosion when she hears the answer to "Did you buy this ring for Melissa?" Maybe that's why she demands he jump in the water when he can't swim. Now she's looking scary.

My biggest interest is in the promos. What did Jesse learn about Darcy while he was in Amsterdam? What did Rachel learn about Jon?

I can't wrap my head around that whole family. They're (devout) Catholics, yet all the women in the family were exotic dancers?  Are they gypsy's? Do they read tea leaves, too?  I am so confused by this family dynamic.

[LocalGovt]

8 hours ago, HappyDancex2 said:

Coming in a future episode babe.  More time to work on yourself babe

Every week I think Big Ang can't surprise me any more and she delivers each time.  Whether it's the fry level of her hair or the exposure level of her backless tops and plunging boob wranglers she is a truly a TLC gift that keeps on giving.  In this 2 weeks of filming she is getting more wrinkled and dried out like fruit leather and Michael has aged 18 years.

And that cake.  Yikes that cake.   I'm surprised she just didn't dip her paw in it and stuff it in her maw like a big bear.   I am horrified.   But then I had to imagine her putting frosting somewhere in one of michael's parts or cracks and I had to run screaming from the room.

There was no Roni here tonight.

.........or she was going to put that frosting somewhere on her body, and Michael was going to have to take care of business.

5 hours ago, RedBagWithMakeup said:

I just have to make a separate post about Mahkul. So he openly admits that he's been working to gain her trust for over a year. That if Angela leaves, all his hard work is for naught and he will be stuck in Nigeria. 

But he's not a Nigerian scammer....

I almost died when he told Angela she's like a mother to him. Ha! I was waiting for her to deck him or at least smack him with her purse, but she didn't even flinch!

And what was with him smacking her in the face with her duffel bag when they were in the car?

I can't help but wonder what might happen to Giant Jugs if she didn't have a camera crew with her.

"...black guy? What about a black guy????"

[Kellyee]

Quote

No, the "free refills" is only an American thing.  People in other parts of the world don't drink nearly as much soda.

Its not just soda. When I visited Ireland, they charged me for extra packets of butter. And in London, the McDonalds wouldn't give me extra ketchup packets. 

[trimthatfat]

6 hours ago, Ijustwantsomechips said:

So none of my people of color are going to mention that jar of Doo Gro in Tarik’s shaving kit? It doesn’t appear to be working. 

Bwahaha!!!

23 minutes ago, LocalGovt said:

 

"...black guy? What about a black guy????"

Easily one of the funniest moments from this franchise. Michael’s life flashed before his eyes...he looked concerned that all his work was no reason.

It cannot be said enough,  but Jesse is an asshole. He hoped to humiliate Darcy with a public dumping. He flew out knowing she’d think he was coming for a good reason...what a shithead. I don’t even like Darcy, but I am tired of Jesse’s gaslighting. He knew if he did it in person, she would flip out and he’d look calm and rational. His “friend” was right to say there are cheaper and easier ways to breakup with someone who lives thousands of miles away.

Hard to extend any sympathy to Rachel. Life isn’t fair? It certainly isn’t. There are mothers, fathers, and children trying to flee war-torn zones to come to the US. Life certainly hasn’t been fair to them. I hardly call the US not wanting a violent felon in “not fair”. Tired of her “woe is me, more tears please!” ass. And I think it was really weird she’d go dress shopping and not even let the consultant in to see how the dresses fit. She just wanted to whine and waste everyone’s time. TLC tweeted that her friend was also confused about Rachel’s behavior during the try-ons.

Edited September 24, 2018 by trimthatfat

[Kellyee]

Quote

It cannot be said enough,  but Jesse is an asshole. He hoped to humiliate Darcy with a public dumping. He flew out knowing she’d think he was coming for a good reason...what a shithead. I don’t even like Darcy, but I am tired of Jesse’s gaslighting. He knew if he did it in person, she would flip out and he’d look calm and rational. His “friend” was right to say there are cheaper and easier ways to breakup with someone who lives thousands of miles away.

Darcy is the same age as me, which makes Darcy plenty old enough to know better than to keep up a relationship with someone you can't be in the same room as for more than 5 minutes without having a nasty fight. Honestly, I think Darcy deserved this for what she was willing to put her daughters through by continuing this relationship. After everything that happened, Darcy was still willing to marry Jesse. For being willing to do that to her kids, I have no sympathy for Darcy, ever. 

Edited September 24, 2018 by Kellyee

[Cementhead]

Who died when Michael told Angela "I need to work on myself."  Omg.  It was like Freaky Friday for a brief moment.  I was waiting for TLC to follow that up with Jesse telling Darcey that "he did the B.J." 

[Eric]

Hazel, Annie and Anfisa all want to be with rich guys but ended being broke in America.

[Major Bigtime]

8 hours ago, Frozendiva said:

No one helped Darcey lug her bags up the steps?

Something tells me she smells funny.

[Eric]

Michael should stay in Nigeria with his cool friends, stay single and get occasional blow jobs... This lifestyle looks way more attractive than the one he will have with this old bag.

[snarkish]

Darcey Kardashian/Heir Meester: Thank you, Darcey, for pointing out the way to save a relationship on the skids is with better teeth. And that you for saying "HAMSTER-dammn" one more time so that my ears could bleed further. That outfit and suitcase for the trip to get dumped was the highlight of their segment. 

Tah-REEKs/WitchHazel: Can she look any more dead in the eyes. I died laughing at her blank stare in the TH when asked if she loves him. She's not completely stupid because she realized she needs to step up her game a bit before she loses her ticket to the US, but home girl needs to show this doofus some form of affection. 

Marta/MuslimMan: I got nothing on these two beyond how ignorant it was of her to ask him if he likes her cross? What the ever loving fuck? Let's travel to Algeria to meet a guy who slams his computer shut on you during a Skype chat. *rolling eyes so hard I'm looking at the back of my skull*

TearyEyes/Garbage Gnome: My eyes literally stung this episode every time she poked her grimy fingers in her eyes to wipe tears. I would love to see camera crew shoving a box of tissues at her during her TH scenes. That bridal shop scene was surreal. You've got the Cameron Diaz/"There's Something About Mary" Associate with the hair, the bestie who is trying to conjure up Amy Winehouse with her eye makeup, and Rachel wearing a black sports bra to try dresses on, and wonders why she's not looking good in any of them. Although I'm a big fan of bushy, dark beards (cue Mr. Snarkish), I was happy to see Jon had trimmed his. He does not pull off the big beard well. Although he looked WAY more gray now that the beard was trimmed. Anyone else notice that Rachel said she was "home for a few months" but baby Lucy only appeared maybe a month older?

Pole/Preggo: Gee, shocker there. More like 4-5 months preggo, Honey. Her boobs and acne were out of control. And what's the rush to the clinic, only for a pregnancy test? I assumed it was a miscarriage. 

Wrinkled Windbag/MahKUL: Ahh, the stars of the show. You couldn't get better comedy than the car scene where he "accidentally" whacks her in the head and then misunderstands her with "Black guy??" She gets more wrinkled and her cleavage longer with each episode. And with each episode we get visually accosted with her breasts. Good to know the way to tame the savage beast is with a giant scoop of cheap, lemon yellow frosting served off a serving spoon. 

Icky/Noxema: At first I was disappointed that she stalked off and returned to the table. But now I realize she's going to make the pig pay for his actions. I CANNOT wait until next Sunday for the swimming/drowning scene! Ricky: "I can't swim". Ximena: "Get in". Woohooo!!!!  

[Raja]

It is not just an American thing. It may be an American marketing move to give away basically free sugar water in its base price. In other parts of the world you can by bottomless, or whatever the local term may be and get continued refills of rice, the soup of the day or a sugar water drink. And then use the little bit of the main dish to add a bit of flavor to the rice, popcorn, bar nuts, etc that you stuffed yourself on.

[Raja]

20 minutes ago, Eric said:

Hazel, Annie and Anfisa all want to be with rich guys but ended being broke in America.

"Broke" in America is a bit different than living on the street on skid row. It is closer to middle class in their third world home.  The living conditions of the  working class in many a third world society is close to the homeless American..

[trimthatfat]

1 hour ago, Kellyee said:

Darcy is the same age as me, which makes Darcy plenty old enough to know better than to keep up a relationship with someone you can't be in the same room as for more than 5 minutes without having a nasty fight. Honestly, I think Darcy deserved this for what she was willing to put her daughters through by continuing this relationship. After everything that happened, Darcy was still willing to marry Jesse. For being willing to do that to her kids, I have no sympathy for Darcy, ever. 

 

As I said I don’t like her, but that doesn’t mean I’ll get joy in someone publicly humiliating her. Jesse is being cruel and getting happiness out of it...that’s indefensible to me. So I’ll agree to disagree. Darcy being a poor excuse of a mother doesn’t minimize Jesse being a poor excuse for a man. 

Edited September 24, 2018 by trimthatfat

[sconstant]

1 hour ago, trimthatfat said:

It cannot be said enough,  but Jesse is an asshole. He hoped to humiliate Darcy with a public dumping. He flew out knowing she’d think he was coming for a good reason...what a shithead. I don’t even like Darcy, but I am tired of Jesse’s gaslighting. He knew if he did it in person, she would flip out and he’d look calm and rational. His “friend” was right to say there are cheaper and easier ways to breakup with someone who lives thousands of miles away.

 

17 minutes ago, trimthatfat said:

As I said I don’t like her, but that doesn’t mean I’ll get joy in someone publicly humiliating her. Jesse is being cruel and getting happiness out of it...that’s indefensible to me. So I’ll agree to disagree. Darcy being a poor excuse of a mother doesn’t minimize Jesse being a poor excuse for a man. 

I get this and agree.  On the other hand, what would happen if production called Darcey and said "Look, Jesse is coming, but we just heard him say that he's going to break up with you and wants to do it in person.  We think this is kind of a jerk move, so what do you say we just wrap up your storyline with a talking head where you say you're going to break up with him via text message?  And then we'll get a talking head from him, and you don't have to worry about more filming until the tell-all."

Pretty sure she'd say "No no!  Let's do more filming.  He'll break up with me.  It'll be SUPER dramatic.  I will wear all white, and my teeth will be white, and I will arrive in a horse-drawn carriage with a lot of luggage and ..."

[Tuneful]

9 hours ago, Spike said:

The dentist was young and handsome.  He will be her new mark after Jesse bids adieu.

That dentist pinged my gaydar. I could have happily gone to my grave without watching Dynasty Darcey spit into a bowl, or the closeups of her dye-soaked, receding hairline. Who packs and dresses like that to meet up with someone in a nearby city, taking dirty public transit? DD is cruisin' for a bruisin' next week and The Promise Ring Sadist is HERE for it. Never seen him look so elated. 

Reeky Ricardo, you [don't] got some 'splainin' to do. So why'd you do it? Gotta like a girl whose name starts with an "X."  Ximena, Warrior Princess! 

It was sweet to see Hazmat show some happy affect at the beach, girl has probably never had 5 minutes of fun in her life. But it was pathetic watching Tawreck pursue his sunk cost fallacy, i.e., he's invested time, money, and Walmart tank tops, so By God this girl is gonna love him or he's gonna die on that hill while never shutting up for one minute about it. I can't take his blathering on my teevee, so I can only imagine being around it 24/7. I predict Hazmat will "love him" as long as he can keep giving her that "paradise" lifestyle...a microwave, nonstop exotic vacations... "Just don't touch me, and we're good." 

Marta and Daya, IDC. This show has hit critical mass bringing on too many couples. 

Rachel just screams Tourette's to me. In fact so many of the woman on this show have nervous mouth issues, I'm scared I might pick it up. That bridal store segment, OMG, complete with body self-shaming, and a proprietress apparently borrowed from the tattoo parlor a few doors down. Could she have been any less interested or helpful? And what was R doing there with no money? Did she expect TLC would pick it up? Maybe she was dragged there by her friend.  I am now officially grossed out by her fingers in her eyes all the time. The germs alone! 

It's always such a pleasure to drop in on Sulky Overgrown Toddler (Kreeny), her scheming mother, and Mommy-whipped Pole. How much did Mom Kreeny pay that doctor's office to say "4-5 weeks pregnant?" Dat's some major-league scamming, and I hope the local medical board finds out. What should have been a happy moment between husband and wife (finding out pregnant) was just sad. Two scheming chicas saying, we don't need you, we got your sperm, your national status, and your child support, so adios. I have a brother who went through something similar involving an international wife who thought she was marrying into, e.g., the Kennedys, HA HA.

I can't say anything about Big Ang and Mahkul that hasn't been said already, except that, Mahkul, I am in awe of your poker-face talents. But nothing is worth what you are in for if you continue with this. The cake segment was worth the price of admission. It looked like a pack of jackals got it. On another culinary note, I found that frozen, reheated Rice-a-Roni lacks a certain je ne sais quoi. 

Edited September 24, 2018 by Tuneful
All Aboard for Loserville

[Kellyee]

Quote

It's always such a pleasure to visit with Sulky Overgrown Toddler (Kreeny), her scheming mother, and Mommy-whipped Pole. How much did Mom Kreeny pay that doctor's office to say "4-5 weeks pregnant?" Dat's some major-league scamming, and I hope the local medical board is alerted. What should have been a happy moment between husband and wife (finding out pregancy) was just sad. Two scheming chicas saying, we don't need you, we got your sperm, your status, and your child support, so adios if you want, nobody cares. 

If Paul gets up, walks out, and goes home, there is very little that Karine can do to claim paternity and child support. She doesn't have the finances to wage the kind of legal fight an international custody and child support battle would require. Paul still holds all the power at this point. He can walk out and she would be stuck. Karine is a poor girl living in a third world country. She has very few resources. 

[Tuneful]

Interesting, Kellyee. The drama in my own family involved at one point potential absconding with the children. I think Pole is his own worst enemy and will feel obligated somehow to stay  involved. 

[trimthatfat]

10 minutes ago, Kellyee said:

If Paul gets up, walks out, and goes home, there is very little that Karine can do to claim paternity and child support. She doesn't have the finances to wage the kind of legal fight an international custody and child support battle would require. Paul still holds all the power at this point. He can walk out and she would be stuck. Karine is a poor girl living in a third world country. She has very few resources. 

TLC tweeted that Paul’s mom actually  called while they were waiting for the test results and she told him that even he is too broke to be a dad right now. He’s still far better off than Karine financially though. 

[gunderda]

 

8 hours ago, TrininisaScorp said:

Who gets medical test information over a cell phone?!  Imma call bullshit on that. 

Well the first season they were on they did get her STD results via the internet

7 hours ago, RedBagWithMakeup said:

I just have to make a separate post about Mahkul. So he openly admits that he's been working to gain her trust for over a year. That if Angela leaves, all his hard work is for naught and he will be stuck in Nigeria. 

But he's not a Nigerian scammer....

I almost died when he told Angela she's like a mother to him. Ha! I was waiting for her to deck him or at least smack him with her purse, but she didn't even flinch!

Oh yea, she totally flinched! I was waiting for her to say something but Michael kept talking and she seemed to have forgotten about it.

9 hours ago, MrFluffy said:

Darcey, if you need veneers "re-fitted," you have a horrible dentist. Once in, they should last a lifetime.

that was confusing to me.... we were suppose to notice a difference?  I was miffed by the oo's and ahh's she was giving herself afterwards. 

7 minutes ago, trimthatfat said:

TLC tweeted that Paul’s mom actually  called while they were waiting for the test results and she told him that even he is too broke to be a dad right now. He’s still far better off than Karine financially though. 

So it wasn't Paul's criminal past that made them weary of Paul... it was his condescending attitude towards their extremely immature daughter that made him not husband material.  Got it.

[noveltylibrary]

Darcey thinks she may be finally getting swept off her feet, but admits sometimes she's not sure he really loves her...at this point is there truly anyone more clueless in the universe??  The previews gave me all I dreamed for!

9 minutes ago, gunderda said:

that was confusing to me.... we were suppose to notice a difference?  I was miffed by the oo's and ahh's she was giving herself afterwards. 

Yes and how it suddenly made a "new and confident" person, translating to how wonderful things will go with Jesse now.  JUST WOW.

Edited September 24, 2018 by noveltylibrary