wheresmypizza

Wow, the epic fall of Brit and Jax happened so fast and with such fury my head is spinning. Jax just got called out in quick succession by Ariana, Tom, AND Lisa. And with some finality, too. And Brittney has gone from Queen For Literally A Day to a simpering, pathetic, apologizer in less than a month. And she knows it. The nervous laughter, the tequila shooting at all hours, it's all right there. And she loves to talk about how "we've been through so much together" and "we've been through Hell and back..." No. He's PUT YOU THROUGH HELL and you take it because he's your meal ticket. Going through so much together usually means surviving cancer or your house burning down. Sadly, I think him cheating will be the least of what they'll 'go through together'. I see mental illness, a job loss, and infertility in their not too distant future.

She was probably wasted.

Poor Brit. Nobody told her what AFTER would look like. Now she knows and boy, is it depressing. Just one look at her is to have a front row seat to watching her dream die in increments. Stassi and Beau's party was just the first nibble.

Raquel is rocking this season for me so far. Behind the Bambi eyes there is a cool headed-chick that very calmly and without histrionics created healthy boundaries for James and urged him to get help, which he did. She then look Lala out at the knees, again, very calmly, not once, but twice. And she can sling a mean hatchet!

Lots to unpack! Schwartz is a passive aggressive pussy. For all of his 'buubuuh-ing' when he's sober, it doesn't take much in the way of booze to bring out the fact that he pretty much HATES Katie. Oops! I forgot the marriage license? Whoever said Lala is a dry drunk nailed it. Wow. For being a 'dummy', Rachel held her own pretty nicely, thank you very much. I think she's tough as nails. And James' exes are awfully obsessed with him after the fact. I've said it before, I think he's the only one out of all of them that's genuinely talented. Sober, he'll really have a chance to leave all these chucklefucks in the lurch. Scheana, while Brett was a total dick, YOU said fuckboy. He probably thinks, rightly, that you think he's your next one. You would be wrong. Sorry not sorry he called you out on it on camera. This Charley chick really thinks she's all that, doesn't she? Neither she nor Danica are half as cute as they think they are. And they are all sleeping with Brett or Max or both and pretending they don't care that the other one is, or something. And Scheana can't stand it. Because both Brett and Max have friend-zoned her. Used to be being BEST FRIENDS meant with benefits. Not with these guys.

I have been genuinely curious about something since I first heard of this girl's (and this show's) existence. If she's as active as she says she is, all the working out, dancing, climbing stairs, etc., then the caloric intake she would have to have to stay at this same weight she's been at for years has got to be ENORMOUS.

New Katie blog in these quarantined times... Bicker and Bloat

I believe they said Loren has Tourette's.

I'm rooting for anyone but Jenn. I hated her on her season, and she hasn't changed. Entitled and obnoxious. I could never stand how everyone tongue-bathed her and talked about how "ballsy" she was (she did it herself last night). Ballsy and nasty are NOT synonymous. Oh, and did you know she worked for Eric Ripert? *eyeroll*

Aston is an asshole and Rhylee is a defensive, reactive, clenched bitch. But let's put that aside for the moment. It looks like from the small clips we see of the 'Aston almost died' season, that Rhylee was the one calling 'man down', and was also RIGHT THERE when the rope wrapped around his ankle. There's probably some residual stuff there between the two. But as a manager, I think if Ashton had approached it to her as, hey, I'm not ATTACKING you, I am merely asking you, my life may depend upon you knowing how to do this particular knot. I will take whatever time I need to teach you how to do this. It will make us both and the boat better and safer. Now, if he had done this and she STILL acted like the white knuckle she is, then fire her. But he's a douche for not understanding that a good manager would have approached it that way.

I FLOVE Annie. She and David actually seem to love and enjoy each other. She's adorable and I love how she just makes awesome Asian food and brings the pots in and slams them on the bed.

God, this woman is an idiot. Good thing she's a role model and a 'moral compass'. Whatever would I do without her?

If that is the last we see of Vicki? In all her shrieky, delusional glory? That might be a little hug from Baby Jesus. Think Steve had ever seen that side of her? Didn't realize just how big of a human shield Vicki was to Tamra until she was demoted. Shannon, you are new human shield. Your constant stinkface says you know it, too. Braunwyn can do whatever she wants, imo. Including stealing oranges. Kelly is a better fit for NYH anyway. Those bitches can handle her.

This is brilliant. All I would add to this is that I think James has the most actual talent of the group. He has shown some real chops as a producer/writer/DJ, and the rest of them know it. I think it makes the rest of them crazy to think that James probably could (if he ever did get his shit under control) not only have a pretty great career without SUR or VPR, but that they clearly can't.

The hot minute they cut to the Indian party at SUR was the most entertaining thing of the night. LVP needs to be off this show. She doesn't need it. The show, however, needs her. Kyle isn't interesting without her. Dorit and PK are irrelevant without her. If LVP doesn't return, her absence is all they'll have to talk about. Snooze. That's all they have to talk about now.