S02.E18: The Wedding

[Clanstarling]

11 hours ago, RogerDodger said:

I don't think even a well adjusted teenage girl would enjoy being told she looks like Randall.

I didn't like it when I was told that - but then that comment just underscored Deja's struggle, her mother is terminating her rights as a parent, and somewhere out there is an unknown father, and Randall isn't her biological father.

11 hours ago, Empress1 said:

Why? I look like my dad. My dad looks like his mom (sometimes people skip my dad and say I look like my grandmother, which is also true). Sterling K. Brown is FINE.

For me it was that my Dad wasn't exactly a looker, and there was more than a little shade being thrown at my mother (long story).

 

11 hours ago, bettername2come said:

I wanted Kevin to let her wear Jack's necklace.

Didn't even think of that. Duh.

 

10 hours ago, Empress1 said:

On the shallow, I thought the bridesmaid dresses were ugly. Kate looked beautiful though.

There were bridesmaids? Except for the room full of damn, I totally missed them. LOL.

 

8 hours ago, Amethyst said:

And again, I'm wondering where Rebecca and Miguel are supposed to be.

That did feel a little ominous to me.

 

7 hours ago, UsernameFatigue said:

I loved the "Worst Case Scenario" game. I play it all the time, but only in my own head, not with my husband.

Playing it alone in my head just ratchets up my anxiety.

30 minutes ago, Packerbrewerbadger said:

I was thinking Toby might be bi polar. He seemed manic the first season when he was wooing Kate and the flash forward is the depression .  Also managing  meds can be very tricky for people with manic depression.

That's been my belief.

18 minutes ago, Mrs. DuRona said:

Am I the only one who thought Rebecca was going to give Kate her necklace?  A way to honor Jack but still move on?  It would have been a nice moment for both of them.

I was absolutely certain that was going to play into it, since it fit thematically.

[Katy M]

1 hour ago, GSMHvisitor said:

And while I'm talking about the journey and the results, I absolutely despise the flash forward idea. Looking back and unravelling that way how the Pearsons became who they are today works for me, because we all have a past and experiences that have shapped us in good and bad ways. But I can't know my own future and so I have no interest in seeing the future of the Pearsons, before it actually happens.

I agree.  If they continue with the flash forwards, I may very well stop watching.  The present is happening in the present.  We can know what's happening in the present, and we can know what happened in the past.  We can't know what is going to happen in the future.  I was OK with the one scene after Randall said that he was going to have lunch with Tess every day, or whatever (where does that leave poor Annie by the way), because I thought it was a one-off.  but, it looks as if it may be a continuing theme.  I'm also OK with a sneak peak of what will happen next season.  But, regularly going forward in time. No.  Just no.

 

1 hour ago, Jodithgrace said:

I had a quibble about the 40th anniversary dream, though I'm sure it would have been difficult for the producers to have pulled off. If Jack hadn't died, wouldn't Kate have been a lot thinner? Young Kate is just  bit overweight, but my impression is that all of Kate's unresolved feeling of guilt and grief are what sent her down the path of serious overeating. Though, of course, maybe Kate doesn't see it that way, and so she is the same in her dream. But it just struck me. 

I'm thinking her dream wouldn't have taken that direction, because then, in a sense, she would have been blaming her father for her obesity.  She needed the question from Rebecca to make her see it, but I think the point of her dream was that they are where they are today even though, or maybe even because of, Jack's death, and if she keeps holding on to him, she can not move forward with Toby.  Plus, as you say, it would have been a production nightmare.

[dlyn]

45 minutes ago, Mrs. DuRona said:

Am I the only one who thought Rebecca was going to give Kate her necklace?  A way to honor Jack but still move on?  It would have been a nice moment for both of them.

That would have been nice, but I don’t think Rebecca even knew that Kate was missing her something old. Just Kevin, Randall, and Toby. When Rebecca showed up, Kate was saying she was fine and just running an errand. 

[ZuluQueenOfDwarves]

I think Toby’s depression might be triggered by the wedding being over. Planning a wedding is stressful and there’s a ton of anticipation. Once that’s over, that huge loss of sensory feedback from all the build up can be a trigger unto itself. 

[Arcadiasw]

53 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

 

They're adopting her, so I think she's with them for good (although Beth said they hadn't adopted her yet because it takes time to terminate parental rights so I guess they could put her back in foster care, but ... ouch).

I disagree that Deja's mother was looking for a reason to drop her. I think it was pretty clearly established that Shauna loved her daughter and was doing her best. She fell short sometimes and couldn't provide a stable home for her, and recognized that. I think it's a very loving thing for Deja to have done, although I can understand why Deja wouldn't see it that way. Shauna getting herself together would take years and at 12 or 13, Deja doesn't have that kind of time. I would have liked to see a scene of Shauna telling Deja what she was doing - I REALLY hope Deja didn't hear her mother say she wanted to terminate her parental rights for the first time in court.

Shauna loves Deja but she's also very selfish as it was established in the last episode. Terminating her parental rights is a big deal but were things so dire Shauna had to take that route? She could've moved into an apartment Randall and Beth are renovating or stayed with them more than a night before making that decision. Was it implied Shauna will have any contact with Deja? If not, that could be another reason for Deja behavior. 

[Enigma X]

I absolutely loved the way the Big Three interacted.  It made me smile throughout the episode. I also am liking the Kevin and Zoe pairing. Although I hate Toby, I like that he set his parents straight on his feelings for Kate. The future seems to foreshadow that Toby is the unstable one, even more than Kate. Beth and Randall's worst case scenario game is a game that me and my siblings played all the time. And I love Madison and her crazy.

 

I understand Deja. My sister had/has some foster children (now adopted). This does not mean I condone what she did. Not cool.

 

Tess and Randall's scene is 20 years into the future. I am going to say it even if it is unPC. The makeup artists need to realize, unless Randall starts doing some hard drugs, that black won't crack that much in that amount of time to make Randall look that way. I hope they were not talking about Annie or Beth. If I have to sacrifice Deja at the expense of saving Annie and Beth, so be it. What if Deja did lead Annie to that pole (and subsequent drugs) and she is in jail or rehab in 20 years?

 

And Deja looks nothing like Randall while Tess and Annie do have a resemblance to Beth.

[Empress1]

31 minutes ago, Arcadiasw said:

Shauna loves Deja but she's also very selfish as it was established in the last episode. Terminating her parental rights is a big deal but were things so dire Shauna had to take that route? She could've moved into an apartment Randall and Beth are renovating or stayed with them more than a night before making that decision. Was it implied Shauna will have any contact with Deja? If not, that could be another reason for Deja behavior. 

We don't know. The only thing we know is that Shauna stood up in court and told the judge she wanted to terminate her parental rights. I doubt that Beth and Randall would keep Shauna from seeing Deja, and Beth and Randall could stay in touch with her themselves. I know a woman who adopted a boy when he was about 10 (married, one younger bio daughter. The boy is in college now and doing great. My brother was his Big Brother). Bio dad is dead, bio mom is in prison for life. The mom visits and writes to the bio mom and always has, although the son has nothing to do with her by his own choice.

I think Shauna is selfish but not out of malice. More out of youth and ill-preparedness. And that's not Deja's fault, and at 13 Deja doesn't have time for Shauna to get her shit together - these years are crucial in terms of stability.

We also don't know anything about Deja's father. I bet $5 that he pops up at some point next season.

Edited March 14, 2018 by Empress1

[ShadowFacts]

1 minute ago, Arcadiasw said:

Shauna loves Deja but she's also very selfish as it was established in the last episode. Terminating her parental rights is a big deal but were things so dire Shauna had to take that route? She could've moved into an apartment Randall and Beth are renovating or stayed with them more than a night before making that decision. Was it implied Shauna will have any contact with Deja? If not, that could be another reason for Deja behavior. 

I was a little surprised they went right from last episode to termination of parental rights/adoption.  I had commented at that time that I hoped Shauna would not just totally disappear of her own accord from Deja's life, because that would be mighty tough for Deja.  And so it is.  What a deep rejection and abandonment she must feel, and then Toby's mother inadvertently drives home the point that she really isn't in this family.  She's really adrift.   What I find to be faulty in this story is that Beth is surprised that Deja has changed, when we learn that she has witnessed a near identical experience in her own family of origin.  I usually find her to be very astute. 

[ZeroDiscipline]

12 hours ago, Katy M said:

And, just when Kate lets go of her father, Toby's going to up and die on her?  Aargh. Poor girl can't catch a break.

That sure looked like Toby was suffering from severe depression, not "going to die" kind of sick. So the tables have turned, and now Kate has to be strong for Toby. That is how marriage works. But a total bummer to see that this is her future, when we are still on her happy wedding day. I didn't like that. They ended on a truly happy moment, and I know they are just minutes away from discovering what Deja did and having to deal with all that. I hope there is an episode next year where this family can just have a nice lunch together and then all go home without incident.

[ZeroDiscipline]

12 hours ago, gonzosgirrl said:

This, and Kevin's "Jesus!" in response to Randall's Worst Case game were my favourite lines of the episode.

Yes, and also "Randall, I do not feel better". Those two have really learned how to act like brothers.

[meep.meep]

12 hours ago, RickyB said:

Does anybody think the worse case scenarios may come true? Deja physically harms Beth and the younger daughter, maybe even murdered and the visit is to prison to see Deja for the first time since it happened? 

Isn't it much more likely to be Rebecca?  Who is dying of old age, and probably some sort of poisoning from wearing all that makeup.

[Katy M]

14 minutes ago, meep.meep said:

Isn't it much more likely to be Rebecca?  Who is dying of old age, and probably some sort of poisoning from wearing all that makeup.

Why would that be a hardship to go see her?  Whoever it is, I don't think they (or just Tess?) was avoiding her because of health issues.

[bichonblitz]

I agree with Toby's parents. I have no doubt that Toby and Kate love each other but Toby does walk on eggshells around Kate and he does jump through hoops to try to please her and keep her happy. That can take a toll on anybody. 

[Blakeston]

I would be completely on the side of Toby's parents if they had talked to him at just about any other time, and said, "Going into your marriage, you should be careful not to fall into certain bad patterns we've noticed," and then listed their concerns.

But instead it seemed like they were saying, "Here's why marrying Kate is a bad idea." Right before his wedding. Who the hell does that?

They might as well have had mustaches they could twirl, while tying Kate to some train tracks.

[blondiec0332]

I felt sorry for Rebecca when she said she knows she makes Kate feel certain ways.  No Rebecca Kate is responsible for how she feels about you.

Edited March 14, 2018 by blondiec0332

[Bluedog100]

Quote

Kevin Covais, nicknamed Chicken Little all over the internet.

Thank you, ProudMary!  That was the only AI I ever watched because I fell in love with Elliot.  And Simon was so OVER Chicken Little by the third Top Ten show.

Back to This is Us....loved Kevin's "they wouldn't know an Amuse Bouche if it bit them in the ass!"

[DearEvette]

I liked this episode.  The only thing I could have lived without were false 'memories' of Jack and Rebecca's vow renewal.  I get it that Kate is a Daddy's girl and would be thinking of Jack on this day, but it would have felt more organic if she had fantasized about him giving her away and him being there on her day.  Although I will admit, the scene of Jack dancing with Tess and Annie kinda got me. 

I am loving Kevin and Randall's relationship.  They seem to be at such a good place now and them being wedding planners for Kate is all kinds of awesome.  And I also love that every scene of them was really quite funny.  Even the worse case scenario scene, which went dark but darkly funny. 

Randall had some great lines, trying to be all smooth when he went into the room with the bridesmaids and called it a "room full of damn." I love how SKB let his voice go into deep register when he said it.  Randall trying to be player-smooth is never not funny.  Also calling Deja 'Russell Crowe.'

Yay, we get to see some of Beth's family and she is played by Melaine Liburd (masking her British accent), whom I loved on Dark Matter.  Love the relationship between them! 

I go back and forth on Deja.  On some level I like her story and in and of itself, it is well done.  But I resent her intrusion into 'my' family.  And think she is given too much space to play out.  I hope there are consequences to her vandalizing the car, real ones that make a difference.

Regards the flash forwards:  It seems like the Toby one and the Kevin + Zoey one are in the category for 'a year from now' given what Randall's voice over was saying while it was happening.  So I imagine that Zoey and Kevin will be a couple next season and they'll be part of the Jack's brother storyline that the show has been hinting at.  And something happens to trigger a depression in Toby.  So those feel like they are hints at next season and will play out in present time.

The Randall/Tess one is so far into the future (20 years) that I can't get too upset that they might be talking about Beth -- which I think the show wants us to think but it might not really be her.  I am leaning toward that it has something to do with Deja too.  Even if it is Beth, that doesn't affect her 'present day' presence.  So I am ok.  I mean, Jack has been dead for two seasons and we still get to hang with him. 

Edited March 14, 2018 by DearEvette

[chabelisaywow]

Quote

Toby's parents are Catholic (or his Mom) and you can get divorced and still be in good standing, it's the getting married again and needing an annulment that puts a wrench in some relationships. Not as big of a deal now but another step.

I understand that divorce is not that taboo of a subject as a Catholic nowadays. What I meant was that his parents being divorced and the mother having a boyfriend wasn't what I expected. In the pregnancy episode, Toby explains to Kate that his mother would have an issue with her being pregnant before marriage.  For someone with such, "not with the times" views, I wouldn't have expected to be divorced and have a boyfriend.

Didn't Toby say when something happened (maybe his divorce) his mother coped by praying? I can't remember.

[Biggie B]

I liked this episode. I'm glad the wedding itself - the ceremony - went off without a hitch, as it would have been so cliched if something had happened during those moments. It didn't even matter that we didn't hear their vows - we got the drift, for sure.

I actually gasped when Deja smashed the windshield. It was obvious that Toby's mother's unknowingly blooper of a  comment set Deja off, so I knew something bad was going to happen, but I thought (naively, I suppose) that Deja might just run outside and cry. Silly me.

I am looking forward to next season. There is a lot of potential meat on the bone, such as the relationship between Kevin and Zoey, Jack's Vietnam experience/Nick, Toby's situation, and surely more. Maybe Toby's elusive younger brother will come into play somehow.

I didn't watch "THE" post- Super Bowl episode, so I didn't see the future scene with Randall and Tess as a young adult, but I read a recap and got the general idea. The little exchange between Future Randall and Future Tess is truly setting up something of mystery...who where they talking about, and what happened to that person? As someone upthread pointed out, it may be a situation where we viewers are shown right away what happened to that person, and then the rest of the season goes back and fills in all the blanks. We'll see. 

Despite its occasional flaws ot eye-roll inducing WTH? moments, I still do enjoy the show enough to look forward to its return. 

[WednesdayAddams]

I thought that after leaving the ice cream parlor, that Kate was going to realize that Jack is the reason for her being over weight. Not his death, the fact that he let her eat anything and everything and made her an emotional eater. I like the progress she's making though.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

36 minutes ago, Blakeston said:

I would be completely on the side of Toby's parents if they had talked to him at just about any other time, and said, "Going into your marriage, you should be careful not to fall into certain bad patterns we've noticed," and then listed their concerns.

But instead it seemed like they were saying, "Here's why marrying Kate is a bad idea." Right before his wedding. Who the hell does that?

ITA - despite the “speak now or forever hold your peace” tradition, my feeling is that you have the opportunity to speak up every single day so if you don’t do it at some point before the actual wedding day, then you should STFU. 

Interesting that the brother Tony mentioned while in Vegas didn’t show up to the wedding. That’s cold, man. 

Edited March 14, 2018 by ElectricBoogaloo

[DoubleUTeeEff]

I don't like that they went straight from an entire episode about Deja and her mom to a quick bit of dialogue between Beth and Randall about how Deja's mother gave up her parental rights in court. What was the point of taking us through Deja's mother's experiences and having us sympathize with her when she's just going to take off? And frankly none of what I saw seems to fit. I can totally see her leaving Deja with Randall because she's homeless but completely abandoning her? Do they really have no contact with each other? Deja is 12 and they've been together for awhile, it's not like abandoning a baby. Maybe this show should be more than 18 episodes just so we can see how this particular storyline went from point A to point B and maybe flesh out what Deja's mother is up to and if they really don't talk to one another. I do think the flash forward is a misdirect and Deja actually turns out OK. 

Speaking of quick story lines, Toby's parents and brother. Who in the hell tells someone not to get married an hour before they are getting married? This show had to have the drama of that moment when it really didn't make sense. They should have had his parents talk to him prior to this episode. And at the wedding his parents seemed to be happy and having a good time. How'd they go from one feeling to another so fast? Why was Toby's brother mentioned in an earlier episode but not mentioned in this episode? That seems like a big thing to overlook. His brother wasn't even at his wedding and there is no mention of him. Was the earlier dialogue about his brother just something convenient in the moment?

I loved the Worst Case Scenario game. I especially loved Kevin's scenario of growing old with Kate and not even bothering to correct people in the grocery store when they mistake them for a married couple. And Randall's response of "you are really good at this game."

I'm glad the vow renewal between Rebecca and Jack just turned out to be Kate's dream. I'm glad Kate was able to make some progress dealing with Jack's death. It was nice to have an episode with fairly calm Randall, I missed him.

[Lady Calypso]

3 minutes ago, DoubleUTeeEff said:

It was nice to have an episode with fairly calm Randall, I missed him.

I agree. It's funny because Kevin was definitely the more high strung wedding coordinator out of the two, which I didn't quite expect. I do admit he was rude at the beginning, but I think it was more that they were playing it up for laughs. Either way, I did actually laugh and it gave some good bonding moments for Kevin and Randall.

[biakbiak]

There was clearly colorism involved when Toby's mom told Tess and Annie that they resemble the lighter skinned Beth and Deja the darker Randall but it was also illustrated that no one singled out Deja as being a recent addition which is nice.

This episode is the first episode I bought Randall and Kevin as brothers. I also thought it was lovely that Miguels tie matched Rebecca's outfit. 

I really want a Miguel focused ep.

Edited March 14, 2018 by biakbiak

[Good Queen Jane]

37 minutes ago, ElectricBoogaloo said:

Interesting that the brother Tony mentioned while in Vegas didn’t show up to the wedding. That’s cold, man

We don't know he wasn't there. It seemed that there were a bunch of people at the wedding who weren't introduced. The bridesmaids, for example. I saw the scene where they were getting ready but not coming down the aisle. And we never saw Toby's groomsmen (if there were any.) So Brother could have been there: he just didn't get any scenes. He's not a Pearson, after all.

Edited March 14, 2018 by Good Queen Jane

[meep.meep]

1 hour ago, Katy M said:

Why would that be a hardship to go see her?  Whoever it is, I don't think they (or just Tess?) was avoiding her because of health issues.

Many people have great trouble when they have to say good bye to someone for the last time.  It's not easy.  

I thought Kate's dress looked really good except for the high part in the front hem.  I just don't understand doing that, it never looks good on anyone.  Fortunately, they didn't show it much.

Thank god they didn't leave us without a crisis or two looming for next season!

[Katy M]

2 minutes ago, meep.meep said:

Many people have great trouble when they have to say good bye to someone for the last time.  It's not easy.  

Easier than having to live with the guilt of having procrastinated too long.  That just doesn't seem like something this family would mess with.

[ShadowFacts]

39 minutes ago, DoubleUTeeEff said:

I loved the Worst Case Scenario game. I especially loved Kevin's scenario of growing old with Kate and not even bothering to correct people in the grocery store when they mistake them for a married couple. And Randall's response of "you are really good at this game."

That part of the game was hilarious.  In fact, I enjoyed Kevin more in this episode than I ever have, up until the cringeworthy toast.  The sentiments about the exhale were good, but for in private, not at Kate's wedding.  Regardless, I really liked Kevin, surprising myself.  He has grown on me.  

[ProudMary]

2 hours ago, meep.meep said:

Isn't it much more likely to be Rebecca?  Who is dying of old age, and probably some sort of poisoning from wearing all that makeup.

With this damn show?  Twenty years from now?  It's probably someone we haven't even met yet but it made for a great misdirect for all of us to think it's Deja or one of the Pearsons.  :rolling my eyes:

1 hour ago, DearEvette said:

The Randall/Tess one is so far into the future (20 years) that I can't get too upset that they might be talking about Beth -- which I think the show wants us to think but it might not really be her.  I am leaning toward that it has something to do with Deja too.  Even if it is Beth, that doesn't affect her 'present day' presence.  So I am ok.  I mean, Jack has been dead for two seasons and we still get to hang with him. 

Repeatedly, constantly.  Jack, Jack, Jack, JACK!  We're not even allowed to hang out in the present for that long, we have to visit the past via Jack flashbacks.  And in this episode we even got an alternative present.  There is no doubt who the actual star of this show is;  it's the dead guy!  Enough already.

[Guest]

49 minutes ago, DoubleUTeeEff said:

Was the earlier dialogue about his brother just something convenient in the moment?

My guess is it was CYA for later when they will pull some not-as-yet-cast brother out of their asses when they're low on story ideas.  

[kili]

Quote

Why would that be a hardship to go see her?  Whoever it is, I don't think they (or just Tess?) was avoiding her because of health issues.

It could be dementia. It can be really, really hard to visit with a loved one in the advanced stages of the disease. You remember them as they were, but they don't even know who you are. I had an Uncle whose "Let me tell you about the time when...." brought an immediate smile to our faces because he was about to spin a fabulous yarn. The last time I saw him, he had no idea who I was and thought the closet was a bathroom (he got quite upset with us when tried to gently convince him to use the real bathroom and thought we were strangers trying to pull a joke on him. Sigh).  It's a lot of mixed emotions and you wonder if your visit is helping or hurting. Imagine strangers coming into your life and knowing all these things about you and being overfamiliar. It's kind of scary.

Quote

I don't think even a well adjusted teenage girl would enjoy being told she looks like Randall.

I didn't mind in the least being told I look like my Dad. I do. My Mom and Dad look quite different so anybody with eyes could tell that (and my brother did not mind in the least being told that he looked like my Mom).

I think being compared to Randall hit Deja harder because her father has been out of her life since birth.

I did not expect Chekhov's baseball bat. Randall loves that car. That's one of the first things we learn about Randall. Deja knows him well enough to know to attack that.  I hope the entire family gets the counselling they will need. Randall and Beth need to learn how to properly handle Deja's behavior (walking on eggshells won't help the matter) and Deja has to cope with her loss. Annie and Tess will have to learn to adjust to the new paradigm (as Tess is thrown into being the middle child). How does one react to Deja wrecking the car? This seems like more than just a "no iPad for the weekend" kind of transgression, but at the same time, Deja is probably acting out hoping Randall and Beth will send her back to her mother, so there are mitigating factors. You want to handle that just right. Not acceptable behaviour, but supportive response.

I'm liking the Kevin and Zoey combination. Beth is not going to like her beloved cousin dating him. She has a very low opinion of Kevin.

Future Toby definitely appears to have depression. If he tends toward manic-depression, that may have been a factor in his divorce. He and his parents may want to blame his evil ex-wife (who didn't seem all that evil), but it is possible that his depression was not just a reaction to the divorce.

Did anybody spot Audio in the future? He seems like the kind of dog that would have been parked next to the bed (if not on the bed) if his master was that depressed. I hope nothing happened to the little dog. Maybe that's what sparked the depressive episode.

[gonzosgirrl]

1 hour ago, Biggie B said:

I'm glad the wedding itself - the ceremony - went off without a hitch, as it would have been so cliched if something had happened during those moments.

OMG yes. When the Big 3 headed for their respective rides back to the cabin after Kate 'let go' of Jack's ashes, I was 3000% sure there was going to be an accident. Then the next scene they are all back and getting ready and I thought, okay, then something is going to happen during the ceremony. Conditioned much? Heh. I was v happy to be wrong though.

[Guest]

3 minutes ago, kili said:

It could be dementia. It can be really, really hard to visit with a loved one in the advanced stages of the disease.

I would love to see a dementia story because I'm going through it with my mother and it's really tough, like you said.  But we're talking Beth, right, not Rebecca?  57 is super young for dementia, unless they make it the result of a stroke that was just a freak thing. 

[Snewtsie]

Since the flash forwards of Randall & Tess are just of them, I have a hunch Deja may be in prison for killing Beth & Annie (accidentally? fit of rage?).  But that might be too easy of an answer, and I would guess there will be a twist.  But I am afraid two of them are dead and the third is responsible.

[Jillybean]

10 minutes ago, kili said:

Did anybody spot Audio in the future? He seems like the kind of dog that would have been parked next to the bed (if not on the bed) if his master was that depressed. I hope nothing happened to the little dog. Maybe that's what sparked the depressive episode.

 

Audio was snuggled up with Toby on the bed.

[gnushell]

13 hours ago, sadiegirl1999 said:

Kevin’s speech gutted me. My dad died in 2014 and I feel like my mom, brother and I have been holding our breath since then. 

I cried as hard as I did when my dad died when Kevin said that. 

As far as the future, I just think it’s way too obvious for the visit to be to Deja. I feel like the writers have really been trying with this Deja storyline and the “foster kid in jail” is too trope-y and an injustice. YMMV

I too was sobbing uncontrollably from Kevin's speech.  My dad died in 2005 and my stepmother made it such that I couldn't see him just before.  He was my sane parent and an unconditionally loving, kind and brilliant man...almost perfect like Jack.  I too have been holding my breath since dad died and obviously needed to let out years of sorrow.  Hugs to you, Sadiegirl.

8 minutes ago, Winston9-DT3 said:

I would love to see a dementia story because I'm going through it with my mother and it's really tough, like you said.  But we're talking Beth, right, not Rebecca?  57 is super young for dementia, unless they make it the result of a stroke that was just a freak thing. 

My dad's LewyBody dementia hit him around 56.  A classmate of mine is 59 and in the declining portion of her dementia.  It's more common than you might think.

[Arcadiasw]

1 hour ago, ElectricBoogaloo said:

ITA - despite the “speak now or forever hold your peace” tradition, my feeling is that you have the opportunity to speak up every single day so if you don’t do it at some point before the actual wedding day, then you should STFU. 

 

Agree and sometimes you have to be quiet and let the person make the mistake because they won't listen anyway. 

[3 is enough]

So, I got to watch the whole episode.

I think, given Toby's parents talk of him lying in bed with the curtains drawn in the middle of a work day, that the flash forward is about him falling into another depression.  Also would not be surprised if he was bipolar. Kind of put a damper on the happy wedding day.

Not loving the Deja storyline. Yes, it is realistic that everything wouldn't be all sunshine and roses, but it is just so unnecessary.  Randall and Beth already have 2 daughters.  I would rather see storylines about them.  Not even going to speculate about the "she" Randall and Tess were referencing- it could be literally anyone.

Kate was WAY too old to ask her dad to marry her.  No wonder she and Rebecca never got along- she saw her as competition for Jack's affection.  I find the whole young Kate-Jack dynamic to be a bit creepy, to be honest.  Glad she finally let go a bit on her wedding day. Looks like she will have to focus on supporting her husband instead of endlessly fixating on her dead father.

And finally, poor Miguel.  He gets NO respect.  Seriously, Rebecca was not even 50 when Jack died.  Was she supposed to dress in black and mourn him for the rest of her life?  We know that they did not meet up again until at least 10 years after Jack died.  The Big Three had all left the nest by then.  Why wouldn't the kids want her to be happy and not lonely?  I don't get it.

[Snewtsie]

9 hours ago, Lily H said:

Adult Kate is selfish beyond belief, and younger Kate had a creepy and inappropriate relationship with her father (which Saint Jack encouraged to her detriment). All he ever seemed to be doing with her was stuffing her with cake and ice cream and constantly telling her that she was the greatest, most perfectly wonderful, awesomest creature on Earth. No wonder she's on a permanent ego trip.

Thank you! I have really had it with how self absorbed Kate is (Kevin, too, but he has humorous moments which balance out his character a little more).   I cringe when Kate is on screen because her story is always "me-me-me" and obsessing over her father.   It got old for me a long time ago.

[kili]

Quote

Audio was snuggled up with Toby on the bed.

Thanks! I didn't spot him and was worried.

I don't think Deja is going to be murdering any family members. Just as with Zoe, she's super angry now and just has to explode. She took out her explosion on an inanimate object. It's an expensive object, but windshields can be replaced. The Deja we've seen is very thoughtful and considerate. She has demonstrated empathy for others (e.g. Gigi, her mother and the old man her foster-sister robbed). I think she is a VERY long way away from harming other people. If Beth and Randall don't get her the help she needs, she has the potential to harm herself with self-destructive behavior (cutting, drugs, bad boyfriends, etc). She's going to be looking for validation after he mother left her. That is very deep betrayal. Although taking a baseball bat to Randall's car may seem like an attack on Randall, it's really an attack on herself. She has low self-worth and probably thinks that if the Pearsons give her up, her Mom will take her back. She probably even feels guilty because she is the one who has been taking care of her Mom all these years. Who is taking care of her now? It should never have been Deja, but Deja has been comforting and caring for her Mom since Gigi died. Deja is going through some pretty complicated emotions right now.

[gnushell]

3 hours ago, Arcadiasw said:

Shauna loves Deja but she's also very selfish as it was established in the last episode. Terminating her parental rights is a big deal but were things so dire Shauna had to take that route? She could've moved into an apartment Randall and Beth are renovating or stayed with them more than a night before making that decision. Was it implied Shauna will have any contact with Deja? If not, that could be another reason for Deja behavior. 

I got the impression that after she bailed out the useless boyfriend that she was resigned to being wired that way...that having a man in her life was more important than anything.  I also think that she can't trust herself to not misbehave.  She loves Deja but her look at Randall and Beth's after the car rescue showed that she could never provide for her the way they can.  It seemed to send her into a downward emotional state.

[Neurochick]

1 hour ago, DoubleUTeeEff said:

Who in the hell tells someone not to get married an hour before they are getting married?

I went to college with a woman whose mother told her, on her wedding day that if she really didn't want to do it, it was okay.  That was because her mom was worried she was getting married because she didn't want to disappoint people, who'd been waiting for the wedding for years.

I'm sick and tired of Deja and her fucked up attitude.  Let her go back to her mom, let her be homeless for a few weeks, while her mother uses Deja's savings to bail out loser boyfriend #48849849.  She doesn't fucking know how good she has it.  

The last part maybe an unpopular opinion, but it's my two cents.  To me, Deja is sucking the life out of this show.

[TV Diva Queen]

28 minutes ago, 3 is enough said:

So, I got to watch the whole episode.

I think, given Toby's parents talk of him lying in bed with the curtains drawn in the middle of a work day, that the flash forward is about him falling into another depression.  Also would not be surprised if he was bipolar. Kind of put a damper on the happy wedding day.

Not loving the Deja storyline. Yes, it is realistic that everything wouldn't be all sunshine and roses, but it is just so unnecessary.  Randall and Beth already have 2 daughters.  I would rather see storylines about them.  Not even going to speculate about the "she" Randall and Tess were referencing- it could be literally anyone.

Kate was WAY too old to ask her dad to marry her.  No wonder she and Rebecca never got along- she saw her as competition for Jack's affection.  I find the whole young Kate-Jack dynamic to be a bit creepy, to be honest.  Glad she finally let go a bit on her wedding day. Looks like she will have to focus on supporting her husband instead of endlessly fixating on her dead father.

And finally, poor Miguel.  He gets NO respect.  Seriously, Rebecca was not even 50 when Jack died.  Was she supposed to dress in black and mourn him for the rest of her life?  We know that they did not meet up again until at least 10 years after Jack died.  The Big Three had all left the nest by then.  Why wouldn't the kids want her to be happy and not lonely?  I don't get it.

Wait - this is a joke, or a hypothetical or you've never watched the show....right?  Jack and Rebecca managed to raised the three most self-centered people in the universe. 

Edited March 14, 2018 by TV Diva Queen
because this was tongue in cheek :)

[3 is enough]

20 minutes ago, Winston9-DT3 said:

It could be dementia. It can be really, really hard to visit with a loved one in the advanced stages of the disease.

I wonder if they would go there.  If nothing else it might make Kate, Kevin, and Randall understand that as devastating as losing their dad suddenly was, maybe it was not the worst thing that could have happened.

 My dad died 11 years ago at 72 after a short battle with an aggressive form of cancer. Admittedly I was not 17 when he passed, so it really doesn't compare to Jack's death. Still, it was hard, and of course I miss him. However, his biggest fear was developing dementia or being stuck in a wheelchair. I know his preference was to die quickly rather than have a slow decline.  My mother, who is 81, has been rapidly descending into dementia in the past year.   Watching her decline is one of the hardest things I have had to deal with in my life.

8 minutes ago, TV Diva Queen said:

Wait - this is a joke, or a hypothetical or you've never watched the show....right?  Jack and Rebecca managed to raised the three most self-centered people in the universe

Oh, hypothetical all the way. ;)

[screenaddict]

Before I say this, I have to remind myself that these characters are not real people, and I am not wishing ill on a child.

But, I would be OK if Deja went rogue and turned out to be trouble. I'm not sure I want to perpetuate the belief that a little love is all it takes to turn around a person with baggage. 

[Jillybean]

Regarding the Deja as murderer theory, if This is Us has main characters murder or be murdered, it will be a jump the shark moment as far as I am concerned.

[ShadowFacts]

Just now, Jillybean said:

Regarding the Deja as murderer theory, if This is Us has main characters murder or be murdered, it will be a jump the shark moment as far as I am concerned.

Yeah, I don't think they'll go there.  And my mind doesn't immediately jump to Deja being in prison for anything, let alone murder.  She has smashed a windshield in anger at her mother and probably self-hate, and 20 years later she's in prison?  Beth's cousin didn't go down that path, we don't need to assume Deja will, either. 

As far as who the "she" is, if it were Deja, or Annie or Rebecca, I think Beth would be there with Randall and Tess.  Unless she were already dead.  I suppose she could be meeting them at another location, but if they have to face something difficult that they're not ready for, then they probably would do it as a group and she would have come along with Randall.  I am therefore leaning toward it being Beth that they have to go see. 

[ZuluQueenOfDwarves]

I can forgive Toby’s parents for waiting until the wedding because a) I agree with them. I think the relationship is so unhealthy, although last year I thought it was because Kate had low self-esteem and Toby was controlling, and now I just think they indulge each others’ worst tendencies. But b) since they are divorced, I could see them brushing away their concerns out of the fear of being overprotective, then comparing notes when they saw each other and realizing their worries may have some validity. If they were married, it’d be one thing, but as they don’t normally speak, I can understand the wait. 

[Arcadiasw]

1 hour ago, Neurochick said:

 

I'm sick and tired of Deja and her fucked up attitude.  Let her go back to her mom, let her be homeless for a few weeks, while her mother uses Deja's savings to bail out loser boyfriend #48849849.  She doesn't fucking know how good she has it.  

The last part maybe an unpopular opinion, but it's my two cents.  To me, Deja is sucking the life out of this show.

When she smashed the window, I thought how Deja completely forgot what her foster friend told her. 

[Bobsterfest]

16 hours ago, RogerDodger said:

Brown's a good looking guy, no doubt.  Its just that most of the teenage girls I know are so image conscious that I don't think they would appreciate being compared to a middle aged man.  I could see saying it to a son.

Maybe Deja murders Beth in her sleep (or not in her sleep).  That might be too dark even for this show.  

Jesus (tm Kevin)