The Lonely Js Club: James, Jackson & Johannah

[Portia]

Q. Why don't Baptists have sex standing up?

A. Because it will lead to dancing!

[DangerousMinds]

3 hours ago, kalamac said:

The no dancing thing annoys me.

I’m not even religious, and I know there’s passages in the bible that say things like “let them praise his name with dancing” and “he danced for the lord with all his might”.

Nobody ignores the spirit of the bible more than the fundamentalists who claim to live by it.

A lot of wine drinking in the Bible too!

[xwordfanatik]

As a teenager at a church his family attended, Mr. Xword was told that playing his guitar was sinful, because it would make people want to dance, even more sinful.  His family switched churches after that.  No churches for us, and 50 years later, Mr. is playing guitar more than ever as a retiree.

Music and dancing.  I hope JD and Abbie have both.  Boob's head would explode, and that I'd like to see.

[Ohiopirate02]

5 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

A lot of wine drinking in the Bible too!

Now remember, when the Bible talks about wine it means un-fermented grape juice.  I still remember trying to keep a straight face when I was first told that one.   A few weeks ago I ran into the husband of the girl who told me this at a bar. 

[doodlebug]

8 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

A lot of wine drinking in the Bible too!

There's a lot of sex-having in the Bible, for that matter.

[graefin]

6 hours ago, ginger90 said:

In pictures of Abbie’s sister’s wedding, there was dancing included, oh my!

 

 

Not only are they dancing, the bride's hair is up rather than a long, straggly mess. There may be hope yet.

[DkNNy79]

3 hours ago, Nysha said:

I belonged to a church that didn't allow dancing except choreographed worship dancing.  The rationale was 1) dancing created arousal and made people want to have sex, and 2) dancing was generally done in venues that served alcohol, which was also verboten.

Ugh with that logic.  How can fundies think they’re better than everyone else when they can’t even dance without fear of it leading to sex?  Most folks have no problem with this.  I guess our mental fortitude is better than theirs.

[Fosca]

Nah, I think those types of fundies think we heathens are boinking like bunnies whenever we're out of their sight.  Which is not only not true, but I wonder if it leads to increased boinking by those types of fundies trying desperately to keep up. 

[libgirl2]

1 hour ago, graefin said:

Not only are they dancing, the bride's hair is up rather than a long, straggly mess. There may be hope yet.

I was just going to comment on that. She looks lovely and put together. 

[DkNNy79]

5 minutes ago, Fosca said:

Nah, I think those types of fundies think we heathens are boinking like bunnies whenever we're out of their sight.  Which is not only not true, but I wonder if it leads to increased boinking by those types of fundies trying desperately to keep up. 

I can see that.  They pop out a kid every year/every other year and unless they get pregnant on the first try each time, I would say they are the ones who are boinking like bunnies.  It took me 6 months of actively trying to get pregnant.

[tarheel220]

Speaking of dancing, one of my favorite hymns is "Lord of the Dance".  Part of it goes "Dance, dance, wherever you may be,. I'm the lord of the dance said he." Apparently these people have never heard that one.

[DragonFaerie]

I really hope Abbie and John have a first dance.  I can that if they do, a lot of the Duggars will probably leave like they did at Cousin Amy's wedding, right after the photos.

[Sew Sumi]

I think they didn't attend Famy's reception more because of the booze than the dancing, although I'm sure that was a lesser factor. 

[DragonFaerie]

9 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

I think they didn't attend Famy's reception more because of the booze than the dancing, although I'm sure that was a lesser factor. 

I remember a photo of some of the older girls walking into the reception or wedding and all making faces  like they were having to mix with the unwashed, heathen masses.  They really have no clue what a lot of the rest of the world sees them like, do they?

[Normades]

1 hour ago, libgirl2 said:

I was just going to comment on that. She looks lovely and put together. 

Yes, she does look like a lovely bride.  That dress (what I can see of it) looks beautiful and delicate.  I hope Abbie finds something similar.  At least if her sister helps, we know she has some taste.

[humbleopinion]

AbaDaba stay away from the Kleinfelds of the Holler with Miss Renee of Kentucky and select a dress where your sister got her lovely dress.

I demand dancing, TLC...time to  shake up the boring same old, same old cheapo Dugg wedding.

I hope...

Dreck will stay home in protest...Yass!

Jilly will choose  to stay home with her man and weepily write inarticulately of  her sad emoji face of not attending...

Jessa with be in the background camera shots with her stanky disapproving resting bitch face.

Bin will be caught swaying to the music and dancing with himself in the corner.

Jinge and Jeremy will be dancing...with dipping....

I want JD in a white tux with tails...go all out for his happiest day on earth....if, of course that's what the bride wants.

I want  a choreographed bride and groom dance number... double middle finger to Chelle and Jimblob

The bridesmaids are Abbie's sisters and Jana...no matronly married Duggs in the bridal party.

Edited July 27, 2018 by humbleopinion

[DragonFaerie]

YES to all the above!!!

100 times.

[humbleopinion]

Who will be JD's best man?

Would love Jana to be it but that is too radical....

Is Joe the closest to JD?

[DragonFaerie]

Hmm, I wonder what would happen if he picked one of the Bates boys?

Just not Boob.  We know he's not going to pick Smuggar.  But I think Joe is the next oldest boy.  I'm not sure how close their relationship is.  Maybe the sinner twin that is taking flying lessons?

[Spencer Hastings]

I would guess Joe or Zach Bates.  He and Joe spent some time in the trenches together, but Zach credits JD with helping him the most during his failed courtship. 

[humbleopinion]

 JD would not even insult Abbie by asking  if JBlob or Molester could be in the wedding party.

The viral outrage of SM, the loud roar their faithful viewing audience who hate the enablers and the deviant would  take away from what could be a joyous occasion of  a Dugg who is breaking the mold by marrying a woman who is very much out his league.

Hoping the stupid Duggs have as little input as possible...letting JD and Abbie work with TLC production and producers to orchestrate their wedding.

Hope TLC learned their lesson how cheap and tacky Si's wedding looked because it was rushed and 2 children were making the decisions.

Edited July 27, 2018 by humbleopinion

[Barb23]

2 hours ago, tarheel220 said:

Speaking of dancing, one of my favorite hymns is "Lord of the Dance".  Part of it goes "Dance, dance, wherever you may be,. I'm the lord of the dance said he." Apparently these people have never heard that one.

I was just going to post about "Lord of the Dance".  It is one of my favorite  songs too.  Now I'm going to have it playing in my head. (For the good, not bad.)

I'm also hoping Abbie goes her sister's route for her wedding attire & hair. 

[GeeGolly]

Fingers crossed that Abbie's family plans this wedding. I'm not hopeful about the dancing though. Abbie and her family may decide not to out of (ugh) respect for the Duggars. Or maybe they'll compromise and MARRIED couples can dance.

[Westiepeach]

I’d like to hear that they flew to Vegas and were married by an Elvis impersonator. 

[Wishing Well]

Do y’all remember Amy’s wedding, and she was taking these gorgeous shots with all her bridesmaids, and then the Duggar girls stumped in and blanded the place up.

The Duggar girls are the equivalent of unseasoned chicken.

[DragonFaerie]

I would love to see Abbie and her family plan the wedding.  In OK.  There is a 400 person top for the wedding and reception.  TLC please film JD telling Boob and J'chelle that his side only gets 200 folks, because Abbie's side gets half.  No Abbie's family won't be putting you up.  You will either need to make hotel arrangements or drive back that night.  No JD cannot fly you up because he will be there 2 days in advance to do the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner that her family has planned.  JD and Abbie WILL be taking one of the planes for the honeymoon adventure.  Don't call us, we'll call you when we're back in town.  Jana will be in the wedding party.  Abbie has a LOT of stuff planned for her wedding party, therefore Jana you have at least 2 weeks of vacation from TTH and all your howlers, lost girls, nieces and nephews.  Roll up your sleeves J'chelle and get ready to work.

Oh and when the invite says the wedding is at 2 pm?  Yea that's really 2 pm.  Don't be driving that stinkbus in at 3 on Duggar time and expect that we waited for you guys to show up, because we didn't.  Also J'chelle, Abbie would like a look at your medications.  :-)

[Albanyguy]

7 hours ago, Ijustwantsomechips said:

Jana with her perpetual stank face (because despite her popularity on some forums, I think she’s a condescending bitch)

Sing it, Sister!

[galaxychaser]

So the duggars don’t dance and drink wine?

[Rabbittron]

5 hours ago, DangerousMinds said:

A lot of wine drinking in the Bible too!

I'm sorry but I think you're reading the wrong versions of the Bible it should be grape juice not wine? because  the Duggars claim Jesus turned water into grape juice. 

Edited July 27, 2018 by Rabbittron
Not drunk enough

[DragonFaerie]

8 minutes ago, Rabbittron said:

I'm sorry but I think you're reading the wrong versions of the Bible it should be grape juice not wine? because  the Duggars claim Jesus turned water into grape juice. 

 

Wait, wait, wait.  So they think Jesus grabbed water at a wedding, ran out back, dumped in some grapes and footstomped them like an I Love Lucy episode to make grape juice instead of turning it into wine?  They really are idiots, aren't they?

Please TLC, let someone slip the adult Duggars Long Island Iced teas instead of regular tea and film it.

Edited July 27, 2018 by DragonFaerie
Booze

[humbleopinion]

Abbie... double the dose of your MIL's happy pills so she is even more spaced out and bumping into floral arrangements....

No Jessa, No Joy, No Jilly...yes to Jana and which ever is the next unmarried girl in the  Duggs.

[GeeGolly]

26 minutes ago, DragonFaerie said:

... Roll up your sleeves J'chelle and get ready to work.

She can't, they're bell sleeves. Sorry, you'll have to find someone else.

[DragonFaerie]

2 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

She can't, they're bell sleeves. Sorry, you'll have to find someone else.

Rubberbands?  Duct tape?? Scissors???  Oh the fun we could all have

[Catfin]

My ex-husband was a mama’s boy and I was very offended when former MIL would say “A son is a son until he takes a wife. A daughter is a daughter the rest of her life.”   I hope this is the actual scenario for this couple, that they are geographically and emotionally closer to her hopefully more normal-ish family. 

Totally projecting, but daring to hope. 

Edited July 27, 2018 by Catfin
Life, not knife. Freudian slip.

[BitterApple]

17 minutes ago, Catfin said:

My ex-husband was a mama’s boy and I was very offended when former MIL would say “A son is a son until he takes a wife. A daughter is a daughter the rest of her life.”   I hope this is the actual scenario for this couple, that they are geographically and emotionally closer to her hopefully more normal-ish family. 

Totally projecting, but daring to hope. 

 

Lol! My late grandmother used to say that all the time. Of course, she hated all three of her sons' wives, so maybe she took an old saying to heart just a tad bit much.

Edited July 27, 2018 by BitterApple

[Aunt Catfish]

6 hours ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

Now remember, when the Bible talks about wine it means un-fermented grape juice.  I still remember trying to keep a straight face when I was first told that one.   A few weeks ago I ran into the husband of the girl who told me this at a bar. 

Maybe that whisky he was sucking down is really just unfermented corn juice!

[Tabbygirl521]

On 6/30/2018 at 5:31 PM, GeeGolly said:

Or this on the Duggar front lawn and JD will fly her over it.

They have enough males in this crew that they could urinate out this message and wait for the grass to die. 

[Soaper410]

1 hour ago, galaxychaser said:

So the duggars don’t dance and drink wine?

Hence the laundry room breakdown

[Gemma Violet]

16 hours ago, Heathen said:

Anybody notice Abbie is wearing a sleeveless dress? And it looks to be at knee length or maybe just above. 

Her family may be Gothardites, but I suspect they're the more pragmatic type of Gothardite. 

Plus, Abbie's hair is of average length.  

[cereality]

In uber conservative cultures, aren’t weddings thrown by the bride’s family? Isn’t that why we’ve been treated to a half dozen Duggar girl weddings where the reception consisted of parking lots with dixie cups of ice cream in November or cupcakes/candy but no actual food like a piece of chicken or pasta? While Josh’s disaster of a marriage actually started with a real meal? I’m not suggesting it was fancy but Anna’s parents at least sprang for chicken salad, pasta salad, cake etc. so guests who had traveled 10+ hrs were given an actual meal.  Not that a bride’s parents can’t be just as cheap as JB – from the pics we’ve seen, Si’s wife’s family only sprang for sheet cake, cupcakes, and candy – though maybe they were thinking, no need to impress the inlaws, we know this is what JB would be doing for his own daughter too.

So if Abby’s family is throwing the wedding, can’t they make it a put together affair like her sister’s wedding? Plus the groom’s family usually has minimal involvement with a reception anyway, so the Duggar bus pulls up to the reception, there’s a floor in the middle – they cluelessly think ok the hall must just be built this way NBD, and JD and Abby are announced by a DJ, come running in, and start dancing their first dance – what exactly will JB and Michelle do? Drag their 27 yr old son who are already left and cleaving off the dance floor by the neck??

Doing it this way does risk a lot of stank faces, but who cares? I’m from a conservative, eastern, no dancing culture. So the first few of my generation’s weddings (all cousins being born and raised in America), there were dance floors and yeah – the aunts/uncles/older relatives definitely had their stank faces on and talked openly about how inappropriate it was.  Fast forward just 5 yrs, they go into weddings expecting it and don’t bitch about it.  The dance floors are still hit or miss and sometimes will be empty-ish at such weddings, but whatever if the bride wants it, it’s there; there is at least some music and liveliness to the weddings as opposed to our previous no music, no alcohol (still none of that) parties that had the excitement of a doctors appointment.

In this case, this family may be in for a shock and maybe they’d leave early in protest. But I just think they’d stand there with those condescending looks of theirs – esp Jessa and Jill; Derick and Bin would be trying to stop their sons from running onto the dance floor bc they need to use EVERY opportunity to publicly show how religious their home is; meanwhile in their heart of hearts, Bin and Jana would probably want to dance but wouldn’t bc RELIGION and JB.  But I think JD and Abby can get some commitment from Abby’s family to dance some – at least that sister and her husband; plus Jinger and Jeremy bc Jer probably wanted a dance floor at his own wedding and didn’t push it and he likely grew up dancing at a 1000 italian catholic weddings in Philadelphia and Jing just enjoys spiting the family; plus Zach and Whit Bates who are going a bit fundie lite-er these days.  That’s enough for it not to be an awkwardly empty dance floor.

[Ijustwantsomechips]

3 hours ago, Wishing Well said:

Do y’all remember Amy’s wedding, and she was taking these gorgeous shots with all her bridesmaids, and then the Duggar girls stumped in and blanded the place up.

The Duggar girls are the equivalent of unseasoned chicken.

This sentence gives me life!!!

[Catlyn]

JD  and Abby: a real Rapture before the true Rapture

[humbleopinion]

I expect JD and AbaDaba to fly off in the plane with a  JUST MARRIED off the  back.

Hope a sky writer makes an appearance at the reception: JDD+AD in a heart with an arrow

Hope TLC has the budget for it...

[crazycatlady58]

8 hours ago, tarheel220 said:

Speaking of dancing, one of my favorite hymns is "Lord of the Dance".  Part of it goes "Dance, dance, wherever you may be,. I'm the lord of the dance said he." Apparently these people have never heard that one.

"Lord of the  Dance  " is one of my favorite  hymns also. I will go the sleep  with  that song  running  through  my head.  What a perfect  earworm.

[awaken]

10 hours ago, DangerousMinds said:

A lot of wine drinking in the Bible too!

I was taught as a kid that this was only because the water wasn’t safe to drink in bible times, so their only choice was to drink wine. 

[awaken]

15 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

I expect JD and AbaDaba to fly off in the plane with a  JUST MARRIED off the  back.

Yes, and let’s see if those zany Duggar boys trash it before their send-off!  Those hilarious madcap wedding-vehicle hijinks!  

[humbleopinion]

Hope airport security keep vandals and stupid Duggs off the air strip and out of the hangers....shoot when you see the whites of their eyes....

[Heathen]

20 minutes ago, awaken said:

I was taught as a kid that this was only because the water wasn’t safe to drink in bible times, so their only choice was to drink wine. 

That's likely. Prohibitions against eating pork and shellfish in the Torah and Q'ran probably have something to do with food safety at the time as well. 

[Pinke]

15 hours ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I believe that the no dancing traces it's roots to the delightful rays of sunshine that were John Knox and later Oliver Cromwell.  Catholics danced so therefore they had to do the opposite.  Who cares what the Bible actually says. 

LOL! Loved it XD

 

Also, I love Abbie's sister's wedding dress! Very pretty and elegant. I like its simplicity.

Edited July 28, 2018 by PinkyCupcake

[floridamom]

How about this shortened version:  "Jabby:  Captured, Not Raptured."