The Lonely Js Club: James, Jackson & Johannah

[Sew Sumi]

Wow, that brings back memories. I was sure there was cake, though! Oops! Cheapskate! 

I can't believe that I've been following fundies for this long. I'm sure someone on FJ found this blog way back when; I never would have found that blog post on my own!

The Duggars were my gateway fundies, followed in short order by Stevehovah and those cheery Maxwells.

Edited November 21, 2017 by Sew Sumi

[xwordfanatik]

7 hours ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

I’m sure for her it was something like a death. The death of her agency and personality. I could only imagine how embarrassing that must have been to be dragged off from a job where one had insurance, friends, and a purpose because your headshit  and other beta males in your family decided you can’t work anymore.

Headshit, I love that!  So true and descriptive.  I'll probably steal that word!

[Luvmy300zx]

I am still just speechless that these people thought this was a good thing to do. Like she was a mindless child who they were doing a great favor for. How humiliating. I would last a day among that mindset before ...well, it wouldn't be pretty!

[Luvmy300zx]

http://web.archive.org/web/20101018015217/http://ahthelife.blogspot.com/2008/07/what-if-he-dies-follow-up-to-bringing.html

 

did anyone read this? It explains why none of the Duggar men (including the sons in law) will ever have a real job. They never answer the question of what the wife will do if her mast....oops husband dies. She won't even be able to collect SS benefits for herself and all her blessings as the headship will have never paid in to the system. That's really taking care of your family. Sarcasm intended...

[cmr2014]

2 hours ago, Luvmy300zx said:

I am still just speechless that these people thought this was a good thing to do. Like she was a mindless child who they were doing a great favor for. How humiliating. I would last a day among that mindset before ...well, it wouldn't be pretty!

Of course they thought it was a good idea. It was an opportunity for them to "spread the word" and to "witness" among the heathen,

[doodlebug]

6 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

Ok..which one of you wrote this way back then?!  Someone started snarking years ago. :)

"Anonymous said...

So what happens when your husband dies or loses his job?

You then have no job skills, no recent work history, and a mortgage to pay and kids to feed. Life insurance and unemployment are never enough to last more than a year. So how, exactly, do you plan to get by when your source of financial support goes away? 

Husbands don't live forever. Jobs don't last forever. Unless you have a backup plan, you're stuck trying to make ends meet on welfare or church assistance--neither of which goes very far

Because I am generous like that, I remembered that the owner of the site actually posted in response to this comment.  The answer, of course, is GOD.   He will provide (except when He doesn’t). You see, it is our godless society filled with uppity women that makes people think that every capable adult in a household should be employable in case tragedy strikes.  Those who follow Jesus and their version of the Bible know that their fellow Christians will support widows and orphans because that is the only Godly option.   I guess they missed the Gospel where Jesus encounters the impoverished widow;  I’m pretty sure He didn’t say anything about his followers supporting her.  BTW, the author also states that Rebecca’s husband quit his job in favor of running his own business out of the home.  No mention of how they are paying for health insurance or saving for a rainy day.  She also doesn’t mention that Daddy’s new business was selling illegal guns and ammo out of their home. She also didn’t update after he was convicted of felony weapons violations and sent to prison. WWJD? He wouldn’t be selling illegal weapons out of the garage, I’m sure.

im no Biblical scholar, but I think if you’re married to a guy who thinks committing felonies is a job, you just might want to maintain those marketable employment skills.

[Arwen Evenstar]

9 hours ago, Genevrier said:

That was not a typo, right? ?

Nope.

[queenanne]

33 minutes ago, Luvmy300zx said:

http://web.archive.org/web/20101018015217/http://ahthelife.blogspot.com/2008/07/what-if-he-dies-follow-up-to-bringing.html

 

did anyone read this? It explains why none of the Duggar men (including the sons in law) will ever have a real job. They never answer the question of what the wife will do if her mast....oops husband dies. She won't even be able to collect SS benefits for herself and all her blessings as the headship will have never paid in to the system. That's really taking care of your family. Sarcasm intended...

And yet, at one point the writer claims that it is putting the women (or, in fact, anyone) to work for someone else, which MAKES them into a "societal burden".

Yes, I read it twice to make sure that's actually what it says... lol. (Of course, zero about the below set of outcomes, says "Duggars" to me, or at minimum, it certainly doesn't say "Duggars before TLC $$", as we clearly all missed the parts where the Duggars (a) ate great food; or (b), had money to hire maids and housekeepers to clean the house):

Quote

It comes down to the fact that time doesn’t buy money, but enough money, if created wisely, buys us back our time and gives us the ability to make choices based on what is best for our family.

 

Families that have pursued this wiser course of action have options and security.

They are able to pay their bills. They do not fear corporate lay offs and pay cuts.

They are able to raise and educate their children to higher standards outside of the indoctrinating public education system. Sparing their children the faulty education they got and a misdirected, financially unstable course.

They are capable of employing the best doctors in times of need and because they are not time for money, they are able to be there for their loved ones the whole time with love and support.

They are able to travel and see places most will not, taking their children with them all the while educating them on the histories of nations.

They are able to hire professional help to maintain their homes all the while they are gone.

They are able to do creative and culturally influential projects as a family.

They can eat what they want to eat and/or what is good for them and not just what is on sale or what is convenient

They are able to meet the needs of widows and orphans.

And it goes on and on…because they have options most families don’t.

Getting finances under control is only the first step. Learning about entrepreneurialism is the next.

 

Edited November 22, 2017 by queenanne

[louannems]

If every family worked for themselves, out of their garages and offices, then who would be educated and trained to provide all the necessary services these families will need?

Doctors, dentists, librarians, lawyers,police officers, firefighters,  shoe makers, appliance makers and repair people, etc, etc ,etc?

 

i don't know why this highlighted nor can I remove it!

[ariel]

11 hours ago, louannems said:

http://web.archive.org/web/20101018014408/http://ahthelife.blogspot.com/2006/09/bringing-home-rebecca.html

"A little princess who will never know the workplace".

A new house wife who will never again have to work for a MAN.

GAG

Is she allowed to work for a WOMAN?

Wow just wow. Lots of weirdness there.  

Edited November 22, 2017 by ariel

[ChiCricket]

2 hours ago, Luvmy300zx said:

http://web.archive.org/web/20101018015217/http://ahthelife.blogspot.com/2008/07/what-if-he-dies-follow-up-to-bringing.html

 

did anyone read this? It explains why none of the Duggar men (including the sons in law) will ever have a real job. They never answer the question of what the wife will do if her mast....oops husband dies. She won't even be able to collect SS benefits for herself and all her blessings as the headship will have never paid in to the system. That's really taking care of your family. Sarcasm intended...

What if men took seriously, "a man that does not provide for his own is worse than an infidel?" I Tim 5:8 See Kevin Swanson’s sermon, “Suffer the children” 

 Oh, my... I wonder if Derrick will ever twat this particular verse on Twitter?

[RedheadZombie]

11 hours ago, louannems said:

http://web.archive.org/web/20101018014408/http://ahthelife.blogspot.com/2006/09/bringing-home-rebecca.html

"A little princess who will never know the workplace".

A new house wife who will never again have to work for a MAN.

GAG

Didn't it say - will never again have to work for another man?  Because our little princess wrote down her husband's name as her new employer.

[Arwen Evenstar]

27 minutes ago, mynextmistake said:

There was an Ask a Manager letter once about a woman whose husband called and resigned from her job on her behalf. It troubles me to think this has happened more than once. 

This is ALL KINDS OF MESSED UP!  

I can understand women resigning on their own to be SAHM, but being dragged off and ganged upon by family.

[Arwen Evenstar]

18 minutes ago, mynextmistake said:

Here’s the link. If you read the comments, the woman who wrote the letter shows up and seems flummoxed that anyone found her husband’s behavior weird or controlling. 

http://www.askamanager.org/2012/10/my-husband-emailed-my-manager-about-our-family-decision-for-me-to-resign.html

Thank you,  That’s effed up.  So she’s got to waste her RN education because some religious wingnut decides to make sure she never works anywhere again?  

[mythoughtis]

She wasted her RN degree because she obviously shouldn’t be a nurse. Was she going to call her husband to get permission to give a male patient a sponge bath, or a shot in his rear, or when she needed to bandage an injury in a guys thigh? I loved the answer in the  link.

If she’s too emotional to resign, she sure doesn’t need to be making medical decisions

back to the Duggars.. how would Jana be able to support herself if something’happened to JB? Is she still going to be dependent upon him if she never marries and he’s 70? 

Edited November 22, 2017 by mythoughtis

[sometimesy]

23 minutes ago, mythoughtis said:

She wasted her RN degree because she obviously shouldn’t be a nurse. Was she going to call her husband to get permission to give a male patient a sponge bath, or a shot in his rear, or when she needed to bandage an injury in a guys thigh? I loved the answer in the  link.

If she’s too emotional to resign, she sure doesn’t need to be making medical decisions

back to the Duggars.. how would Jana be able to support herself if something’happened to JB? Is she still going to be dependent upon him if she never marries and he’s 70? 

They probably trust the rest of the family to support Jana, but Jana shouldn't count on it. 

[mythoughtis]

Quote

They probably trust the rest of the family to support Jana, but Jana shouldn't count on it

 

 

For a family that touts gender roles and courting practices from 200 years ago, they really need to research what befell widows and orphans back then. 

[cmr2014]

3 minutes ago, sometimesy said:

They probably trust the rest of the family to support Jana, but Jana shouldn't count on it. 

I think they do think that. Think 100-150 years ago, that's what they're going for. Men generally worked for themselves, either farming or as a tradesman and, women took care of the home and family. Adult sons often worked on the father's farm, or in the father's shop. If a man died, relatives took in the widow and any orphans. There was generally no thought that the woman would go out and find a job -- it was the role of theh family to take care of their own.

[louannems]

9 hours ago, mynextmistake said:

I was wondering about this ITO the Duggars, because I thought I had remembered one of the girls (maybe Jessa or Jinger) saying they were interested in being a nurse. Assuming they could complete the training, would they be allowed to be nurses? Because, in all honesty, we see a lot of peen, and you can’t really opt out of those parts of the job. I guess you could focus on pediatrics (although even then you would have some postpubescent male patients) or OB, but in pretty much any other specialty you’re gonna have to have a certain amount of contact with man parts. Would this be left up to their headship, or would it just be a non-starter?

I remember Jill 's wish was to become a nurse.  Opra even offered to pay for her college.  Of course, JB isn't going to let any of his girls attend a real college.

[Catfin]

3 hours ago, louannems said:

I remember Jill 's wish was to become a nurse.  Opra even offered to pay for her college.  Of course, JB isn't going to let any of his girls attend a real college.

Nursing is not an easy program. Jill would likely not have been able to get into the program without remedial classes. 

 

Speaking of Oprah, (were we?), she's stayed as far away from this train wreck family as possible. 

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

13 hours ago, cmr2014 said:

I think they do think that. Think 100-150 years ago, that's what they're going for. Men generally worked for themselves, either farming or as a tradesman and, women took care of the home and family. Adult sons often worked on the father's farm, or in the father's shop. If a man died, relatives took in the widow and any orphans. There was generally no thought that the woman would go out and find a job -- it was the role of theh family to take care of their own.

The secret truth here though that no one speaks to is that when this happened, plenty of women ended up:

- marrying men who were awful to them just so they'd have a place to live and food for their children; if their kids were abused by this man, they just had to look the other way

- working as domestics (this is what happened to my great-grandmother) while they sent their children out to different relatives to be work horses for them in exchange for food/shelter...the siblings were often split up

- working as prostitutes 

- dying in "poor houses," which were totally a thing

[MargeGunderson]

21 hours ago, mynextmistake said:

Here’s the link. If you read the comments, the woman who wrote the letter shows up and seems flummoxed that anyone found her husband’s behavior weird or controlling. 

http://www.askamanager.org/2012/10/my-husband-emailed-my-manager-about-our-family-decision-for-me-to-resign.html

I love Ask a Manager. That letter was bananas. There have been other letters with similar perspectives - like a manager who wrote in for advice when her employee was concerned that people would jump to the wrong conclusion when she was alone with a colleague of the opposite sex in a car (like driving to the office in the next town over) or had lunch with him in a public restaurant. My God, what would the neighbors think?!

[ariel]

On ‎11‎/‎21‎/‎2017 at 10:18 PM, RedheadZombie said:

Didn't it say - will never again have to work for another man?  Because our little princess wrote down her husband's name as her new employer.

Listing the husband's name as her new employer is creepy on so many levels. If he treats her horribly who is she going to report him to? 

Edited November 23, 2017 by ariel

[Barb23]

The "bringing home" Rebecca thing - it sounds like her family is pulling her out of a cult when in reality she is (re)entering theirs.

[Arwen Evenstar]

22 minutes ago, Barb23 said:

The "bringing home" Rebecca thing - it sounds like her family is pulling her out of a cult when in reality she is (re)entering theirs.

THIS, so much THIS! 

[LilJen]

On ‎11‎/‎21‎/‎2017 at 10:18 AM, louannems said:

http://web.archive.org/web/20101018014408/http://ahthelife.blogspot.com/2006/09/bringing-home-rebecca.html

"A little princess who will never know the workplace".

A new house wife who will never again have to work for a MAN.

GAG

Good heavens. It almost sounds like "bringing her home" = she was a hostage in some terrifying country for 5 years. (Sounds like that is how the family sees it. EEK!)

[doodlebug]

On 11/22/2017 at 1:39 PM, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

The secret truth here though that no one speaks to is that when this happened, plenty of women ended up:

- marrying men who were awful to them just so they'd have a place to live and food for their children; if their kids were abused by this man, they just had to look the other way

- working as domestics (this is what happened to my great-grandmother) while they sent their children out to different relatives to be work horses for them in exchange for food/shelter...the siblings were often split up

- working as prostitutes 

- dying in "poor houses," which were totally a thing

My great grandfather died shortly after emigrating to the US, leaving a wife who spoke no English and 6 kids.  The youngest, my grandfather, was 2.  She took in laundry and scrubbed floors, and still, none of her kids including my grandfather, got past the 6th grade before dropping out to work full time to avoid starvation.  This was around 1905.  Life 100 years ago was pretty crappy for widows and orphans.

My grandparents brought his mother to live with them after they married. She never learned to speak English and she died quite young, at least partly as a consequence of decades of backbreaking work, poor nutrition and bad living conditions.

[LilJen]

On ‎11‎/‎21‎/‎2017 at 7:08 PM, Luvmy300zx said:

http://web.archive.org/web/20101018015217/http://ahthelife.blogspot.com/2008/07/what-if-he-dies-follow-up-to-bringing.html

 

did anyone read this? It explains why none of the Duggar men (including the sons in law) will ever have a real job. They never answer the question of what the wife will do if her mast....oops husband dies. She won't even be able to collect SS benefits for herself and all her blessings as the headship will have never paid in to the system. That's really taking care of your family. Sarcasm intended...

His answer was, essentially, "stop spending so much money." Apparently EVERYONE is in debt and has too much stuff and lusts after more stuff, and THAT is the real problem. While I won't deny that we in the US have a serious problem with debt and materialism, there truly *are* people who do not earn enough, even on FT wages, to pay for their basic needs (housing, clothing, food, utilities, transportation). And he recommends everyone get rid of their debt, and then they'd be just dandy. Fact is, minimum wage is not sufficient, and some areas of the country are hella expensive in terms of cost of living.

On ‎11‎/‎22‎/‎2017 at 0:43 AM, mynextmistake said:

I was wondering about this ITO the Duggars, because I thought I had remembered one of the girls (maybe Jessa or Jinger) saying they were interested in being a nurse. Assuming they could complete the training, would they be allowed to be nurses? Because, in all honesty, we see a lot of peen, and you can’t really opt out of those parts of the job. I guess you could focus on pediatrics (although even then you would have some postpubescent male patients) or OB, but in pretty much any other specialty you’re gonna have to have a certain amount of contact with man parts. Would this be left up to their headship, or would it just be a non-starter?

I was once a CNA for a summer. My wild, sexy contact with a man's parts was an old man who needed a condom catheter changed. It was as unsexy as it is possible to be.

[charmed1]

On 11/21/2017 at 10:18 AM, louannems said:

http://web.archive.org/web/20101018014408/http://ahthelife.blogspot.com/2006/09/bringing-home-rebecca.html

"A little princess who will never know the workplace".

A new house wife who will never again have to work for a MAN.

GAG

Holy crap, are they in The Republic of Gilead? That blog post read almost exactly like The Handmaid's Tale! How scary.

I'm hopeful for Jana's future and curious about her life outside the compound. She has a group of girlfriends who seem relatively normal. One is a teacher who graduated from a real college and also happens to be a person of color. Another posted a happy birthday message to Jana a few years back that revealed more about Jana than her parents ever had, and all she said was that Jana really likes cheese. I'm guessing that these girls have at least talked about their normal lives around Jana, maybe even introduced her to friends of theirs. So maybe getting married to some dorky, socially awkward Gothardite is really not something she wants. She may have no desire to leave home. My 40 year old cousin is still at home. But she just lives with my aunt and uncle, not a house full of Rod & Todds and she wears pants.

Edited November 23, 2017 by charmed1

[Temperance]

2 hours ago, LilJen said:

His answer was, essentially, "stop spending so much money." Apparently EVERYONE is in debt and has too much stuff and lusts after more stuff, and THAT is the real problem. While I won't deny that we in the US have a serious problem with debt and materialism, there truly *are* people who do not earn enough, even on FT wages, to pay for their basic needs (housing, clothing, food, utilities, transportation). And he recommends everyone get rid of their debt, and then they'd be just dandy. Fact is, minimum wage is not sufficient, and some areas of the country are hella expensive in terms of cost of living.

If you read the blog, they recommend a seminar from the I. B. L. P. The IBLP is the Institute Basic of Living Principles, which belongs to.... Bill Gothard! Remember JB grilling Derick about what to do about bad money situations and how even if he had medical bills and whatnot, he wouldn't go into debt?  This is exactly the same thing and I do agree with you about how people have to spend money on the necessities.  Bill Gothard, like a lot of fundie leaders, have many ideas that sound okay until you think them through as well as some terrible ones.  

Edited November 23, 2017 by Temperance

[Fostersmom]

On 11/21/2017 at 9:53 PM, mynextmistake said:

There was an Ask a Manager letter once about a woman whose husband called and resigned from her job on her behalf. It troubles me to think this has happened more than once. 

I used to work with a woman whose husband had called her employer and told them he was moving the family across the country and arranged for her to transfer to a different location. Thing is, she only found out when she got home and found a fucking FOR SALE sign in their front yard. She somehow actually moved with him and didn't kill him, neither of which would ever have happened in my life. When she told me this, I have to admit I really thought she was just insane. I don't care how long you've been married, how much you love him, just not happening. 

[Scarlett45]

7 minutes ago, Fostersmom said:

I used to work with a woman whose husband had called her employer and told them he was moving the family across the country and arranged for her to transfer to a different location. Thing is, she only found out when she got home and found a fucking FOR SALE sign in their front yard. She somehow actually moved with him and didn't kill him, neither of which would ever have happened in my life. When she told me this, I have to admit I really thought she was just insane. I don't care how long you've been married, how much you love him, just not happening. 

Now that I’ve lived a little bit (32yrs) that screams domestic violence to me (at the very least emotional abuse and social isolation). 

If someone’s that controlling there were signs before that. 

[Marthalord]

On 11/23/2017 at 2:44 PM, charmed1 said:

One is a teacher who graduated from a real college and also happens to be a person of color.

Who might that be?

[charmed1]

14 hours ago, Marthalord said:

Who might that be?

Can't remember her name. It was one of the girls who helped her fix the shower, I believe.

[Marthalord]

@Janarella What app is she on? She's not texting she just has her phone in her hand. And I don't think that just because she's on her phone it means something because she's been shown on her phone plenty of times.

[Misslindsey]

Maybe Jana was swiping through Tinder.

[kokapetl]

Jedediah update 

 

 

 

 

[Barb23]

Did Jed have to bring along an accountability partner or is that just for the girls?

[awaken]

4 hours ago, Misslindsey said:

Maybe Jana was swiping through Tinder.

We can only hope!

[DangerousMinds]

On 11/23/2017 at 3:55 PM, Temperance said:

If you read the blog, they recommend a seminar from the I. B. L. P. The IBLP is the Institute Basic of Living Principles, which belongs to.... Bill Gothard! Remember JB grilling Derick about what to do about bad money situations and how even if he had medical bills and whatnot, he wouldn't go into debt?  This is exactly the same thing and I do agree with you about how people have to spend money on the necessities.  Bill Gothard, like a lot of fundie leaders, have many ideas that sound okay until you think them through as well as some terrible ones.  

So what have they done about what must have been astronomical medical costs for both babies' births? No debt?

[Christina87]

On 11/23/2017 at 1:45 PM, LilJen said:

Good heavens. It almost sounds like "bringing her home" = she was a hostage in some terrifying country for 5 years. (Sounds like that is how the family sees it. EEK!)

Hahahaha this is so funny! I absolutely can't believe that blog is for real. Did you see the part where they said to click more to learn about Leah? Leah was saying that homemaking was so much better than being miss America, and a few other titles similar to that. Last time I checked, most people don't wake up and say, "hmmmm, do I want to be miss America, or a SAHM?" It's not like miss America is a permanent job that lasts from 9-5 every day. The other things she listed were bizarrely not jobs either. It made me think...DOES this girl even know what a job is?

[MORGANH]

As we have discussed Jana over the years, I have always held out a secret hope for her. I know she has witnessed a lot and we may never know her reasoning for staying single and not courting. But there has been speculation that she has turned down prospective suitors and she was the only one that publicly declared (to my knowledge - and recollection) the type of man she would like to marry. This just makes the think that she has had the choice to say “no”. Now of course, we won’t know this is true until maybe someday someone writes a “tell all”. She has watched her sisters eagerly marry and has seen those outcomes and not the results probably not pan out as promised. I secretly hope that she is choosing to do what she can under the constraints she is given. We all know she was reported as “willful” and sent to “ Journey of the heart” to be broken and kept in line.  Whether she is married off for ratings  stays as a SAHD remains to be seen. But if is true that she has turned down suitors while her sisters have seemingly jumped at the chance to Court and marry remains to be seen. I can only imagine that her sister’s eagerness to marry and subsequent aftermath has given her even more to consider. In all of this, if she has been allowed to put her foot down and say “no”, even in her very different world, it gives me hope for her. I know this is ijust my opinion and everything she does could be completely for show, but I hope not. I’m still going to hold out hope for whatever form of rebellion/ different path she can have in the life she was born into..  I can still secretly hope!

[ginger90]

Saw a headline the other day, yahoo's home page or facebook I believe, stating Jana is still at home because one of the the younger children is actually hers. I can't imagine how she'd feel seeing that.

[BetyBee]

6 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Saw a headline the other day, yahoo's home page or facebook I believe, stating Jana is still at home because one of the the younger children is actually hers. I can't imagine how she'd feel seeing that.

Oh for heaven's sake.  I don't think so.  Yahoo has some pretty wacky stories.  

[mythoughtis]

This was debunked months ago. We’ve been seeing Michelle pregnant on TV for years. Years. We’ve seen Jana not pregnant on TV for years. Years.  Jana will be 28 next month. Exactly how old was she to have a baby older than the ones we’ve seen on TV and just which child would it have supposedly been ? 

[dargosmydaddy]

2 minutes ago, mythoughtis said:

Exactly how old was she to have a baby older than the ones we’ve seen on TV and just which child would it have supposedly been ? 

I guess she had Justin at the age of twelve.

Yikes, Yahoo is stupid...

[ginger90]

3 minutes ago, mythoughtis said:

This was debunked months ago. We’ve been seeing Michelle pregnant on TV for years. Years. We’ve seen Jana not pregnant on TV for years. Years.  Jana will be 28 next month. Exactly how old was she to have a baby older than the ones we’ve seen on TV and just which child would it have supposedly been ? 

I’m sure it has been debunked, I just saw it and wondered how Jana would feel reading it.

[queenanne]

49 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

I’m sure it has been debunked, I just saw it and wondered how Jana would feel reading it.

Grossed out?  That would be my reaction, but I bet she's already used to it, so maybe not.  I don't particularly want to think about anyone thinking I squeezed any of my siblings out of my nethers.  

[FakeJoshDuggar]

Josiah must be courting since he’s allowed to post on social media again. His Instagram is up and running. 

[Sew Sumi]

He's been posting for a while now again. Mostly ALERT crap.