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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


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Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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One thing Jill could learn about car upkeep that would help her a lot.  Don't let anything in the car that you don't want to have to take out or clean after and at the end of each trip have the kids empty their area.  It takes but seconds and make it very easy to do a quick wipe out or vacuum when needed.  She really needs to learn to catch things as soon as they happen so she isn't facing a mountainous cleaning project.

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Blog post. I didn’t include the other Bible verses she included.

A Life Well Lived: Lessons My Grandma Taught Me

”But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep.” 1 Thess. 4:12-14

I think most people, even those who had never met her, knew her by “Grandma Duggar.” Most probably didn’t even know her first name (Mary). 

She was everyone’s Grandma and proud of it too!

As kids, I remember grandma pointing out her birthplace…under a tree where a house once stood in the small town of Gentry, Arkansas. She’d reminisce of standing out on the dirt road as a little girl with some of her siblings (she was one of 4), and watching soldiers march down the road practicing their drills. 

She fell in love with Jimmy Lee “J.L.” Duggar and they got married and had two children, my Aunt Deanna and my dad, Jim Bob. Grandma and Grandpa were quite the couple! We joked that grandma had to keep grandpa in line since he was such a kid at heart. She was certainly a great example to all of us of sticking to the marriage vows, “in sickness and in health,” as she cared for grandpa until he passed away of cancer ten years ago. I remember her telling us a story….when g’ma was having contractions at home and about to head to the hospital to have their first baby, g’pa was so nervous and anxious to leave that he said, “Mary, come on! We’ve gotta go!…Mary, if you don’t hurry up I’m gonna leave without you!” (lol…a lot of good that would do!). They were a hoot. Even though they picked at each other sometimes, we knew they loved each other and losing g’pa was definitely hard.

My grandma taught me to thank God in every situation, realizing that only He can see the big picture. She would say, “Praise the Lord” all the time, and even talked about how thanking God for tough things that happened helped her release it to Him and acknowledge that he was ultimately in control. She was a great example to me and displayed many of the character qualities of the virtuous woman described in the Bible (in Proverbs 31). She was an amazing working mom and grandma (she never really retired!), great at business (she was a long-time realtor) and was always looking for ways to serve others. 

Grandma lived at the big house with us for awhile before I got married, then we lived with her for a few months when Derick, the boys and I were in transition back from the states before and after I had Samuel. During those times, she was always helping us out by cleaning, washing laundry (she could get stains and odors out of anything!), making eggs for everyone in the morning, hand sewing a hole quickly on-the-go, playing with and watching Israel, etc. And if we were sick or had an ailment, grandma would be right there with her elderberry juice or oil of oregano to help fix you right up! We were blessed with so many great memories together! She loved to shop and could find the best deals! Side note…she snored so loud she woke herself up sometimes…and anyone else in the same room, so sometimes there was a debate on who would share the room when we were traveling. lol One time I remember Amy volunteered, and then came over to our room after grandma fell asleep. lol. (And yes, she eventually listened and got a breathing machine for sleeping). 

She was such a supportive mom and grandma and pretty adventurous too. She was my Aunt Deanna and Cousin Amy’s biggest cheerleader in their music careers and businesses and traveled frequently to keep up with their busy schedules. And anyone who knew her well, knew of her love for Braum’s and their varieties of ice cream (she loved chocolate, cappuccino, and more!)…and I think she had some at least every day!  

My grandma showed me by example that we must love others more than we love ourselves! She would go out of her way to talk to people about Jesus. She was a real Christian and lived out her relationship with God for all to see. She also loved discussing the end times and Jesus’ imminent return. Every thanksgiving when we’d go around the room and say what we were thankful for, Grandma’s first thing was always the same, “I’m thankful for God’s faithfulness and Salvation through Jesus Christ.” If my grandma were meeting you for the first time, she’d probably ask you during the conversation a very specific question….one that she asked hundreds, if not thousands of people, “If you died today and stood before Jesus and he asked you why he should let you into heaven, what would your answer be?” 

Yesterday, I was in disbelief when I got the word that she had tragically died. I’m still having a hard time processing the reality of her passing. When I think about all the lessons my grandma taught me (this post certainly doesn’t cover them all!), I know the greatest lesson she would want me to remember and pass along would be this: 

Nothing is more important than having a real relationship with Jesus Christ (repent of your sins, confess Jesus as your Lord, let him take control of your life and living for him with hope of life with him forever after death!). Life here on earth is short. We are never guaranteed another day! Do you know where you would go if you died today? What would your answer be if Jesus asked you why he should let you into heaven (hint: just being a “good person” or just repeating some words without actual heart change doesn’t work.) Read below if you want the answer! 

RIP, Grandma Duggar! ❤️ You are greatly missed! Life here on earth is less sweet without you here! But heaven is all the sweeter and we know you’re enjoying it now with Jesus and grandpa!  

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After reading Jill's tribute to Grandma Mary, I wonder if Mary was the one subsidizing the Dillards these last 2 years.  If Jill and Derick were living with her after coming back from Danger America and right after Sam's birth, then she could have been privy to Dericks plans for the future.   We know someone has been bankrolling them, maybe it was Mary.

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3 minutes ago, Oldernowiser said:

If she was subsidizing them and Jill didn’t mention that even once, I hope Mary smites her ass.

True, but Mary might not have wanted to broadcast her giving one grandchild thousands of dollars and not dividing it evenly among all of them.  I wouldn't be surprised to find out Mary gave Amy money for her store. 

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21 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

True, but Mary might not have wanted to broadcast her giving one grandchild thousands of dollars and not dividing it evenly among all of them.  I wouldn't be surprised to find out Mary gave Amy money for her store. 

She could have provided loans to them as well. 

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1 hour ago, Vaysh said:

On the other hand... while I'm sure she possessed many wonderful qualities in other areas, the constant proselytizing must have been a pain to anyone meeting her that wasn't already part of their sect. Who asks personal questions like that to "thousands of people"? I'm feeling uncomfortable just thinking about it.

Evangelical Christians do! I can't tell you how many of these bigots have come up to me and started in about Jesus. They are insufferable.

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4 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Blog post. I didn’t include the other Bible verses she included.

A Life Well Lived: Lessons My Grandma Taught Me

”But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep.” 1 Thess. 4:12-14

I think most people, even those who had never met her, knew her by “Grandma Duggar.” Most probably didn’t even know her first name (Mary). 

She was everyone’s Grandma and proud of it too!

As kids, I remember grandma pointing out her birthplace…under a tree where a house once stood in the small town of Gentry, Arkansas. She’d reminisce of standing out on the dirt road as a little girl with some of her siblings (she was one of 4), and watching soldiers march down the road practicing their drills. 

She fell in love with Jimmy Lee “J.L.” Duggar and they got married and had two children, my Aunt Deanna and my dad, Jim Bob. Grandma and Grandpa were quite the couple! We joked that grandma had to keep grandpa in line since he was such a kid at heart. She was certainly a great example to all of us of sticking to the marriage vows, “in sickness and in health,” as she cared for grandpa until he passed away of cancer ten years ago. I remember her telling us a story….when g’ma was having contractions at home and about to head to the hospital to have their first baby, g’pa was so nervous and anxious to leave that he said, “Mary, come on! We’ve gotta go!…Mary, if you don’t hurry up I’m gonna leave without you!” (lol…a lot of good that would do!). They were a hoot. Even though they picked at each other sometimes, we knew they loved each other and losing g’pa was definitely hard.

My grandma taught me to thank God in every situation, realizing that only He can see the big picture. She would say, “Praise the Lord” all the time, and even talked about how thanking God for tough things that happened helped her release it to Him and acknowledge that he was ultimately in control. She was a great example to me and displayed many of the character qualities of the virtuous woman described in the Bible (in Proverbs 31). She was an amazing working mom and grandma (she never really retired!), great at business (she was a long-time realtor) and was always looking for ways to serve others. 

Grandma lived at the big house with us for awhile before I got married, then we lived with her for a few months when Derick, the boys and I were in transition back from the states before and after I had Samuel. During those times, she was always helping us out by cleaning, washing laundry (she could get stains and odors out of anything!), making eggs for everyone in the morning, hand sewing a hole quickly on-the-go, playing with and watching Israel, etc. And if we were sick or had an ailment, grandma would be right there with her elderberry juice or oil of oregano to help fix you right up! We were blessed with so many great memories together! She loved to shop and could find the best deals! Side note…she snored so loud she woke herself up sometimes…and anyone else in the same room, so sometimes there was a debate on who would share the room when we were traveling. lol One time I remember Amy volunteered, and then came over to our room after grandma fell asleep. lol. (And yes, she eventually listened and got a breathing machine for sleeping). 

She was such a supportive mom and grandma and pretty adventurous too. She was my Aunt Deanna and Cousin Amy’s biggest cheerleader in their music careers and businesses and traveled frequently to keep up with their busy schedules. And anyone who knew her well, knew of her love for Braum’s and their varieties of ice cream (she loved chocolate, cappuccino, and more!)…and I think she had some at least every day!  

My grandma showed me by example that we must love others more than we love ourselves! She would go out of her way to talk to people about Jesus. She was a real Christian and lived out her relationship with God for all to see. She also loved discussing the end times and Jesus’ imminent return. Every thanksgiving when we’d go around the room and say what we were thankful for, Grandma’s first thing was always the same, “I’m thankful for God’s faithfulness and Salvation through Jesus Christ.” If my grandma were meeting you for the first time, she’d probably ask you during the conversation a very specific question….one that she asked hundreds, if not thousands of people, “If you died today and stood before Jesus and he asked you why he should let you into heaven, what would your answer be?” 

Yesterday, I was in disbelief when I got the word that she had tragically died. I’m still having a hard time processing the reality of her passing. When I think about all the lessons my grandma taught me (this post certainly doesn’t cover them all!), I know the greatest lesson she would want me to remember and pass along would be this: 

Nothing is more important than having a real relationship with Jesus Christ (repent of your sins, confess Jesus as your Lord, let him take control of your life and living for him with hope of life with him forever after death!). Life here on earth is short. We are never guaranteed another day! Do you know where you would go if you died today? What would your answer be if Jesus asked you why he should let you into heaven (hint: just being a “good person” or just repeating some words without actual heart change doesn’t work.) Read below if you want the answer! 

RIP, Grandma Duggar! ❤️ You are greatly missed! Life here on earth is less sweet without you here! But heaven is all the sweeter and we know you’re enjoying it now with Jesus and grandpa!  

I think this is the best thing Jill has ever written. It's personal and loving, and it reads to me of genuine affection. I feel zero affection between any of the others and the tired Gothardisms they use in praise of one another.

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8 minutes ago, cmr2014 said:

I think this is the best thing Jill has ever written. It's personal and loving, and it reads to me of genuine affection. I feel zero affection between any of the others and the tired Gothardisms they use in praise of one another.

I think it’s very touching and sweet too.  If Mary was anything like my grandmothers, she WANTED to stay busy and feel as though she still had a purpose in life.  And there’s at least one Duggar who thinks Grandpa Duggar is in heaven, regardless of what JBoob thinks.

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So Jill, you loved your grandma and miss her and I fully respect that and feel sorry for your loss. But, pssst - your grandma was also the epitome of a God Botherer and if she'd come up to me with that shit, she'd have gotten an earful. Because there's believing in your God and going around demanding everyone else is going to hell if they don't believe in your God. And you can "believe" in your heart of hearts that it's because the only way to truth faith is to try to convert everyone to your version of believing, but you'd be the first ones in line bitching if someone who wasn't the "right" kind of Christian or - GASP!!! - not a Christian at all coming up to you and asking if you believe in THEIR God (and I guaran-damn-tee you they can cite the parts of THEIR holy book that insists they need to convert you as earnestly as you think you need to convert them in order to get into your/their version of the afterlife.)

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"Swipe Up! Give me clicks on my website so I can literally cash in on my grandmother's death that happened just a couple of hours ago.  Oh yeah, she was Godly and something, something, something & something else and Jesus!" 

I just can't with Jill anymore. 

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3 hours ago, lulu69 said:

So if I understand Jill's blog post correctly the Dillards lived with Mary when they returned from DA? Mary did the cooking, cleaning and laundry as well as watched Iz. Then what the hell did Jill do? She wasn't on bed rest. 

If anything, Jill should have been helping her elderly grandma and doing grandma's housework, not the other way around. Pregnant women can still wash dishes and do the laundry. These people talk about having servant's hearts but I don't see them do even the most basic things, even for their own loved ones.

Sorry for the rant but I would never think of allowing my elderly mother or father (my grandparents have passed) to serve me when I am young and able bodied. 

Maybe its just me but Jill's blog rubbed me the wrong way.

Let's go back to the advice Jill gave married women recently. That's probably all she does.

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@ijustwantsomechips, you're right about what would happen to food items left in a car in our climate. That's why I keep bags in the car so I can clean it out every time I get home. Where are you in Baton Rouge? We were in the Shenandoah area until we moved to Covington a  little over a year ago. I love Covington but there are certain places in Baton Rouge that I miss. And condolences to the Duggar family, it sounds like no one was expecting Mary to go this way. 

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5 hours ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

True, but Mary might not have wanted to broadcast her giving one grandchild thousands of dollars and not dividing it evenly among all of them.  I wouldn't be surprised to find out Mary gave Amy money for her store. 

It wouldn't surprise me if she was helping to support JB and Michelle for years either. 

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Im just not buying all this sudden outpour of grief. While im sure that some duggarlings feel some sadness, most of them are just trying to go through the motions. Lets not forget that there have been plenty of rumours about mary duggar being the mastermind behind the show.

And jill, honey, she was a working woman who was able to cook, clean, sew and watch children. Did that not inspire you to be like her? 

These people always admire but never actually DO.

Plus, that woman raised two highly dysfunctional people since both jim blob and deanna or whatever her name is are t exactly well adjusted. Not sure why shes being turned into a saint. 

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5 minutes ago, Temperance said:

It wouldn't surprise me if she was helping to support JB and Michelle for years either. 

It's my understanding that JB got his big payout before his father died -- that $250,000 that he blew on that senate race was -- I believe -- from his parents. When the Duggars were living on "love offerings" left on their porch by fellow parishioners, I don't think JL and Mary were in any position to provide financial support.

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On 6/9/2019 at 11:12 PM, Ijustwantsomechips said:

So since we’re close to each other (BR here), you and I both know that yogurt would have a fuzzy sweater on it if we tried leaving it in our cars in this heat.  Either that or something with many legs would have carted it off by now 🤢

ETA:I want someone to take Jill to Wal-Mart snd introduce her to Folex stain remover. It could work wonders on Izzy’s carseat.  

Y'all - I lived in Baton Rouge for over 40 years before moving here about 4 years ago.  Even though metro Atlanta is still the south, it is nothing like south Louisiana in the summer!  I carried a cooler and blue ice with me everywhere, because even non edibles got nasty left in the car for a minute.  My hair behaves differently, even on a humid summer day, the grass doesn't overtake the sidewalk in 3 days, the concrete doesn't mold in a week, etc.  I left many good friends and memories in Baton Rouge, but, don't miss the hurricanes at all!!   That car seat must stink to high heaven!!

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I really, really hope the "thousands of people" is Jill being clueless and exaggerating, as usual. I'd like to hope she asked people about Jesus when she got to know them, instead of just every stranger on the street. I would have a hard time seeing her being so successful in her business ventures if she were truly that annoying, but who knows? She apparently had an ice cream store once, where Michelle and JB met, and I could tooootally see it being like Chick-fil-a, with bible verses and Christian music everywhere. I just hope she was smart enough not to ask every customer who came in if they believed in Jesus (lol maybe that's why the ice cream store closed) 

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10 hours ago, MunichNark said:

Im just not buying all this sudden outpour of grief. While im sure that some duggarlings feel some sadness, most of them are just trying to go through the motions. Lets not forget that there have been plenty of rumours about mary duggar being the mastermind behind the show.

And jill, honey, she was a working woman who was able to cook, clean, sew and watch children. Did that not inspire you to be like her? 

These people always admire but never actually DO.

Plus, that woman raised two highly dysfunctional people since both jim blob and deanna or whatever her name is are t exactly well adjusted. Not sure why shes being turned into a saint. 

I have a reply, but it wound only secure my way to hell 

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56 minutes ago, dariafan said:

I have a reply, but it wound only secure my way to hell 

Not wishing to send you to hell, but sure would like to know the potential reply!   😊

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13 hours ago, jjane said:

@ijustwantsomechips, you're right about what would happen to food items left in a car in our climate. That's why I keep bags in the car so I can clean it out every time I get home. Where are you in Baton Rouge? We were in the Shenandoah area until we moved to Covington a  little over a year ago. I love Covington but there are certain places in Baton Rouge that I miss. And condolences to the Duggar family, it sounds like no one was expecting Mary to go this way. 

Ha! I’m right down the road in the Sherwood/Millerville area. Small world.  

I know there’s been some snark on how each Duggar has publicly responded to Mary’s death, but I really think they’re in shock.  When my Grandma passed a couple years ago, I remembered  all sorts of trivial things about her. Things like her perfume, her favorite stores, and how she always put her bag in the back seat before she drove.  As the days passed, her death became more real, and so did the grief.  In those early stages when you’re in denial, random things come to mind.  As despicable as these folks can be, I don’t doubt they loved Mary, and will feel lost without her being there when they need her since she’s always been there.  You think the funeral is the hardest part until you pick up the phone to call, or need that person to do something and remember they’re not with you anymore. 

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On 6/10/2019 at 9:44 AM, Picture It. Sicily said:

If it is a hand me down, wouldn't that be dangerous? With the way safety regulations constantly evolve, a 10+ year old carseat would be completely out of date.

I don’t think they care... it’s just the ebil government trying to make them spend money 

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(edited)
On 6/7/2019 at 12:08 PM, farmgal4 said:

Dickhead is positively skeletal. 

If you had to live on Jill’s food, wouldn’t you be?  I mean at school, he can at least buy food.  Oh god, am I feeling bad for him ?  Some compassion?   Please , someone do the right thing and smack me 

Edited by dariafan
Autocorrect HATES me
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21 hours ago, farmgal4 said:

Mary LIVED WITH the family for years.  I’m almost certain that she was more of a mother-figure to those kids than MOTY ever thought about being.  I think that at least the older kids are truly grief-stricken.

My Granny has been gone for over 12 years and a few months ago something happened and I almost headed to her place to tell her   And then it hit me again and I felt as bad as when she passed

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8 minutes ago, dariafan said:

If you had to live on Jill’s food, wouldn’t you be?  I mean at school, he can at least buy food.  Oh god, am I feeling bad for him ?  Some compassion?   Please , someone do the right thing and smack me 

His Headship could drive his skinny behind over to yon grocery store, procure actual food and, dunno, prepare it? Eat it?

I got nothing for him, compassion-wise, but you’re a nicer person.

Either the guy is running ten miles a day or he’s got some health issue lurking. He looks terrible. Sam’s baby arm is the same size as Derrick’s.

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29 minutes ago, dariafan said:

If you had to live on Jill’s food, wouldn’t you be?  I mean at school, he can at least buy food.  Oh god, am I feeling bad for him ?  Some compassion?   Please , someone do the right thing and smack me 

***smack, snap out of it***

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6 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

***smack, snap out of it***

Read as if said by Cher in Moonstruck.  Nicely done.  

When has Derick never looked like a walking corpse though?  He's always been cadaverous.

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4 hours ago, dariafan said:

My Granny has been gone for over 12 years and a few months ago something happened and I almost headed to her place to tell her   And then it hit me again and I felt as bad as when she passed

I feel ya. I remember being saddest about my grandmothers' deaths when I really started to miss them. I was in college, so I didn't see them daily, but once a few months went by, it was worse than right after the death. I do truly feel bad for the older duggar kids, because surely they will feel the same way! I'm also glad grandma got to meet baby Ivy. 

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15 minutes ago, Christina87 said:

I feel ya. I remember being saddest about my grandmothers' deaths when I really started to miss them. I was in college, so I didn't see them daily, but once a few months went by, it was worse than right after the death. I do truly feel bad for the older duggar kids, because surely they will feel the same way! I'm also glad grandma got to meet baby Ivy. 

I remember being in school in Vt and I drove over to Saratoga, NY to surprise visit my grandmother only to find out that she had died earlier in the day, but nobody called me. It was a shock. 

Pits sad that the matriarch of the family has died. They still have their Mother MeChelle. When she leaves who is going to be the matriarch? Since Jana hasn’t married and given them more family, will she even be eligible? 

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