Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[ginger90]

3 pictures 

 

[GeeGolly]

They brought a homemade cake to a restaurant??!?

[Scarlett45]

3 hours ago, Temperance said:

I thought Cathy's adopted mother died the year Derick and Jill were married. I remember Derick lost a grandmother that first year and the Dillard seems to be alive. I'm just confused and tired. 

I think that was her likely her step mother (second wife to her father). Although her father died when she was a young adult, it’s wouldn’t be unusual that she maintained a relationship with her and Dan/Derick called her “grandmother”. 

[beagletime]

Nevermind.

Edited January 7, 2019 by beagletime
spell

[madpsych78]

4 hours ago, Temperance said:

I thought Cathy's adopted mother died the year Derick and Jill were married. I remember Derick lost a grandmother that first year and the Dillard seems to be alive. I'm just confused and tired. 

Wasn't Derick's grandfather (Rick's father) still alive in the early part of his marriage to Jill?

[Albanyguy]

3 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

They brought a homemade cake to a restaurant??!?

Fairly common in the restaurant business. At one restaurant where I worked, when a big group came in to celebrate a birthday, we usually supplied a large birthday cake upon request. After the guest of honor blew out the candles, the cake was taken back into the kitchen to be cut and plated. But sometimes they'd bring in their own cake (usually a favorite cake baked by Grandma) and we'd cut and plate it for a small charge. I hated doing that because if it was a sloppily-baked cake (imagine Jill baking a giant birthday cake), it would fall apart when you tried to cut it, look like crap when you served it and of course the family would blame the staff.

[Fostersmom]

1 hour ago, PoshSprinkles said:

Not that unusual. I was at Texas Roadhouse the other night and someone was celebrating their birthday and the family brought cake and cupcakes for everyone to have along with their meal. 

I've seen it plenty of times too. Hell, I think my aunt even brought a bakery cake to a birthday we had for my grandfather at a Hometown Buffet one year. She was all about cassata cake for his birthdays, which was odd since that side of my family isn't Italian and my grandfather never seemed to have a huge love of it or anything. 

[Celia Rubenstein]

I once took a homemade vegan cake to my daughter's favorite Thai restaurant where we were celebrating her birthday with her friends. They had no desserts on the menu to speak of.  I called ahead to get their okay and offered to pay a plating fee but they said it was no charge. 

I get the feeling the Dillards didn't drag out that ugly cake because they needed/wanted a special cake or there were no dessert options. I think they're just cheapskates.

Edited January 8, 2019 by Celia Rubenstein
Plating not not playing, damn you autocorrect!

[whydoiwatch]

I'll admit anytime I see a post about Ma Dillard I just tune it out. IMHO, she is a bitter, nasty old hag who thinks her brand of specialness is why Jesus chose to heal her. Most of us have had significant events in our lives and have processed them as best we could without writing a book about everything. 

[flyingdi]

Shouldn't it be "Mee Maw?"

[floridamom]

The better option would have been if the Dillards went back home for birthday cake and coffee since it was a poorly homemade cake. I guess Jill wanted to use the restaurant's real plate and silverware. Not good form, IMO.

[Temperance]

5 hours ago, madpsych78 said:

Wasn't Derick's grandfather (Rick's father) still alive in the early part of his marriage to Jill?

As far as I know they're both still alive. Last year they went to visit them.

6 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

I think that was her likely her step mother (second wife to her father). Although her father died when she was a young adult, it’s wouldn’t be unusual that she maintained a relationship with her and Dan/Derick called her “grandmother”. 

Okay this makes sense. 

[Steff]

8 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

They brought a homemade cake to a restaurant??!?

I've done this several times & will be doing it tonight for my mom's birthday.  We don't eat the cake there, she will take it home. 

[louannems]

For my mom's 80th birthday, family came from different cities to meet at a nice restaurant on the Puget Sound waterfront. I made a gorgeous orange cake. I called ahead and they assured me it was fine to bring it.  I even  specified that it was homemade but they said great!  They provided plates, forks, and a knife and we cut and plated it ourselves.

[Totally]

We took our own cakes for my family members joint birthday party at a restaurant

The restaurant couldn’t supply birthday cakes and they were happy for us to bring them. They cut and served the cakes.

It’s not unusual in my neck of the woods, but I can see why others might think it was something that shouldn’t be done 

[Ohiopirate02]

Most restaurants are not equipped to handle a full cake for just one party.  They will allow you to bring in outside cakes because it does make their lives easier.  I know of a few restaurants who dontt make their desserts in house and rely on frozen single-serving desserts.  Really, the only ones who would object would be the restaurants who make their own cakes in house.  

[GeeGolly]

Well wow. Could this be a regional thing? I've been around a few decades and have never seen this happen before. Plenty of places offer a free dessert to the birthday person, but I've never seen a homemade cake brought into a restaurant before.

[DangerousMinds]

36 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

Most restaurants are not equipped to handle a full cake for just one party.  They will allow you to bring in outside cakes because it does make their lives easier.  I know of a few restaurants who dontt make their desserts in house and rely on frozen single-serving desserts.  Really, the only ones who would object would be the restaurants who make their own cakes in house.  

There are many restaurants who prohibit any outside food for various reasons.

[Scarlett45]

5 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Well wow. Could this be a regional thing? I've been around a few decades and have never seen this happen before. Plenty of places offer a free dessert to the birthday person, but I've never seen a homemade cake brought into a restaurant before.

Many restaurants allow this, and charge a cake cutting fee. I often have specialty cakes make for my bday (the last one was a bathtub with sugar bubbles) and eat that at the restaurant. In Chicago the fee is often $3-5 per person. I see it more with speciality shaped cakes than homemade cakes but it’s very common. 

 

1 minute ago, DangerousMinds said:

There are many restaurants who prohibit any outside food for various reasons.

This is also true. I do hope the Dillards called to check that it was alright. 

[GeeGolly]

3 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

There are many restaurants who prohibit any outside food for various reasons.

Yeah, I would think there's some liability there: allergies, food poisoning, bringing 'unknown' foods into a common kitchen where customer food is prepared, etc.

[ginger90]

We brought the cake to the bowling alley for my grandaughter’s birthday. 🤣

[Christina87]

I have definitely heard of people bringing a bakery made cake into a restaurant, but not a homemade cake. Just seems strange to me, but not judging anybody who does.  I wouldn't want to go to the trouble to box and transport a homemade cake when I could just eat it at home later. Since bakery cakes are already transport ready, that seems less strange to me, but that's just me. I remember on my 23rd birthday, I had the BEST time at a restaurant with a bakery cake, and almost all my friends were there! It's sad, but I can't think of a time since then that I had so many friends in one place. 

I'm surprised restaurants will let you bring in wine, too, but they do. The first summer I was with my ex, he came to the beach with my family, and we spent the day by ourselves before meeting my family for dinner at a nice restaurant. He was nice enough to wanttk buy my parents gifts, and my mom's gift was wine. It was funny, because he tried to sneak it in so my mom wouldn't see it, but the waitress did, and exclaimed, "ohhhh, you have wine!!! Let me get you some glasses for it!" We all kept insisting that we didn't have it, while the waitress insisted we did. Finally, when she left, he laughed and we admitted that we had brought them gifts, and gave them to them. When the waitress came back, we explained the situation, and everyone had a good laugh!

Edited January 7, 2019 by Christina87

[lookeyloo]

Just like anything, I don't think there is a hard and fast rule or law about an individual restaurant allowing a cake, whether home made or from a bakery and if they would serve it.  There are too many restaurants for there to be just one way of doing things.  And there are regional differences in things too, so what is considered routine in x area might not be in y area.  Not that either one of them is right or wrong.  And while you know I abhor these people and their beliefs, not everything they do is snark-worthy, IMHO.  Well, it is apparent my wine hasn't kicked in yet!!

[libgirl2]

I remember for my wedding shower the mother of my best friend made the cake that we brought in. And for my second wedding, we brought in an outside cake, though the place (a really good German restaurant) had wonderful desserts! The cake was really good too from a Mexican bakery. 

[GeeGolly]

In my area there are two restaurants that allow customers to bring their own beer or wine. No hard liquor though as they are only licensed to have beer and wine on the premises. Surely this isn't an issue for Jill and Derick, although I wonder if Jinger has indulged in any spirits since marrying Jeremy.

[lookeyloo]

15 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

In my area there are two restaurants that allow customers to bring their own beer or wine. No hard liquor though as they are only licensed to have beer and wine on the premises. Surely this isn't an issue for Jill and Derick, although I wonder if Jinger has indulged in any spirits since marrying Jeremy.

Now that is a great question!  A little glass of wine with dinner?  I wonder if the Vuolos do that, or do their religious beliefs preclude that?  What about Jeremy?  Is he used to a  "fine wine"?

[Chicklet]

Who knows if they are like my sister-in-law and her bizarre evangelical church who think wine is bad and Jesus didn't drink wine in the bible.  "Oh they meant grape juice"

Suuure they did but she also insists everything else in the bible is true. Oh the humanity.

[CalicoKitty]

We brought our own cake to the restaurant for my parent's 70th wedding anniversary.

[lookeyloo]

I guess it all perplexes me.  My cousin claims to be orthodox Jewish but one of the most important things to her is kosher food.  They will eat in restaurants, go figure but give instructions to the wait person, don't let our food touch shell fish or pork.  Really?  They won't eat in anyone's house.  they go to parties and eat nothing.  But they will drive on the sabbath, turn lights on and off, wear clothes of mixed fibers, etc.  But, the food.  So I know people can pick and choose which parts of their religion are important enough.  But still it perplexes me.  I think it would be impossible to be all or nothing (I read the book "the Year of Living Biblically" which was an eye opener).  So maybe Jeremy or the Vuolos do have a nip or two.

[GeeGolly]

I think Jeremy stated alcohol is fine. I don't recall Derick stating anything about it. The four oldest girls said they "accidentally drank punch that had alcohol in it".

I believe JB shared a story of driving miles to purchase milk because he was looking for an open store that did not sell alcohol. And then there was Michelle trying to get a local corner store shut down.

Gil Bates is of the grape juice theory.

Some religious stories make me think there was plenty of alcohol consumption back in the day.

[Chicklet]

Jesus himself said they serve the good wine at first then the iffy wine when nobody's taste buds are functional. If we can't believe Jesus' party planning tips, who can we believe?

[ginger90]

Derick has stated he doesn’t drink, but that it’s a personal choice, not a religious one.

[QuinnInND]

5 hours ago, flyingdi said:

Shouldn't it be "Mee Maw?"

That's what I called my grandma. And how I spelled it. 

[Temperance]

17 minutes ago, Chicklet said:

Jesus himself said they serve the good wine at first then the iffy wine when nobody's taste buds are functional. If we can't believe Jesus' party planning tips, who can we believe?

Atually that was the way most people in that era threw a party. But at Cana, they ran out of wine and so Jesus turned water into wine and of course his wine was much than all of the previous wine, because he's Jesus. People were surprised that the best wine was served last, which was backwards to the tradition. 

[JoanArc]

Quote

I think Jeremy stated alcohol is fine.

But masturbation.....

 

Quote

Shouldn't it be "Mee Maw?"

Yes, now stop ruining chapter 20 of Cathy's book about her brave struggle with the world screwing her over.

[latetotheparty]

53 minutes ago, JoanArc said:

But masturbation.....

 

Yes, now stop ruining chapter 20 of Cathy's book about her brave struggle with the world screwing her over.

I honestly don’t believe Jeremy really thinks masturbation is any big deal. But he preaches it because it’s expected.  Sincerity is not something I associate with him. 

[mythoughtis]

Part of Cathy’s attitude on her birth mother might come from all the various ‘searching for long lost relatives’  shows and internet stories when adoptees are just gushing about finding their birth families and becoming best buddies.  Ancestry isn’t helping either, identifying relationships solely on DNA.   Now that many states are giving adoptees their birth records ( regardless of the biological parents wishes),  people seem to think they are entitled to meetings and contact.  They aren’t.   They don’t realize what kinds of hornets nests they are stirring up sometimes.  Giving up a baby might have been a long kept secret, so much so that current spouses and other offspring might not even be aware. 

‘ hey, hon, I know we’ve been married for 30 years and have 5 kids... um, I forgot to mention my first born... conceived in rape.’

[Heathen]

12 minutes ago, mythoughtis said:

Part of Cathy’s attitude on her birth mother might come from all the various ‘searching for long lost relatives’  shows and internet stories when adoptees are just gushing about finding their birth families and becoming best buddies.  Ancestry isn’t helping either, identifying relationships solely on DNA.   Now that many states are giving adoptees their birth records ( regardless of the biological parents wishes),  people seem to think they are entitled to meetings and contact.  They aren’t.   They don’t realize what kinds of hornets nests they are stirring up sometimes.  Giving up a baby might have been a long kept secret, so much so that current spouses and other offspring might not even be aware. 

‘ hey, hon, I know we’ve been married for 30 years and have 5 kids... um, I forgot to mention my first born... conceived in rape.’

I think adoptees deserve to have their birth records, including date and place of birth, and information about their ethnic origins. That's part of what makes us us. I'm the one who did the research to find my dad's birth family -- even though he's an asshole and a rotten person, I'll never forget the look on his face the first time he saw his original birth certificate and learned his birth name. It wasn't what he had been told even though he was six when he was dumped at an orphanage, went to foster care, and was finally adopted. 

Meetings and relationships with one's birth family -- different story. 

Back on topic: I both feel sorry for Cathy because being an adoptee is such a conflicted thing and no doubt influenced her in every way, and dislike her because she's a bitter old bigot who seems to think the world owes her. For me, bigot outweighs everything else. 

[sixlets]

4 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Yeah, I would think there's some liability there: allergies, food poisoning, bringing 'unknown' foods into a common kitchen where customer food is prepared, etc.

I'm strictly an East Coast gal, but I've seen people bring a homemade or "outside" cake at many restaurants. In most instances, the cake is never taken back to the kitchen.  It is cut/plated by the family or by the server at the table.  I've had two birthday parties at the same restaurant, and both times my parents supplied the cake even though they did desserts.

[Portia]

When we were Baptist I used to get so frustrated over the "Jesus drank grape juice" garbage. If you want to say its a sin to take a drink, fine--say that. But don't try to rewrite the Bible to prove your point. When my kids were teens, I was so tempted to tell one particular Youth Sunday School teacher, "Say, instead of torturing the Scriptures, why don't you challenge those young people to think about what a Christian's relationship to alcohol should be."

[Ohiopirate02]

17 minutes ago, Portia said:

When we were Baptist I used to get so frustrated over the "Jesus drank grape juice" garbage. If you want to say its a sin to take a drink, fine--say that. But don't try to rewrite the Bible to prove your point. When my kids were teens, I was so tempted to tell one particular Youth Sunday School teacher, "Say, instead of torturing the Scriptures, why don't you challenge those young people to think about what a Christian's relationship to alcohol should be."

Especially since humanity has evolved so much since biblical times.  We can drink water without getting sick, but for centuries beer was safer to drink than water.   The Temperance Movement did not gain ground until humanity figured out germ theory and pasteurization.  It also helped that advances in transportation led to the decline in price of tea and coffee.  In Jesus's day, the fermentation of grape juice had to happen to make it safe to drink.  

[awaken]

^^This is what we were told growing up. That the “but Jesus drank wine!” Theory doesn’t work because he had no choice....the water wasn’t safe to drink. 

[Scarlett45]

2 hours ago, Heathen said:

I both feel sorry for Cathy because being an adoptee is such a conflicted thing and no doubt influenced her in every way, and dislike her because she's a bitter old bigot who seems to think the world owes her. For me, bigot outweighs everything else. 

I agree with you. Just because someone is a bigot and a foul person, doesn’t mean every single emotion or experience they ever had was invalid. You can agree that Cathy is a nasty bigot yet have sympathy for her regarding one facet of her life.

 

Because WE here acknowledge that humans are multilayered, unlike Cathy and her bigoted self. 

[mynextmistake]

21 hours ago, DangerousMinds said:

I just don't understand why we needed a pronunciation key at all.

A fair question, to be sure. Perhaps she’s going to start adding them to all her blog posts. Recipe (reh-suh-pee) for (for) buttered (buh-turd) toast (toh-st). Take (tayk) one (won) slice (slice) of bread (bred) and put (puht) in toaster (toh-stur). When (win) toast (toh-st) is (iz) ready (reh-dee) spread (spred) butter (buh-tur) on (ohn) it and enjoy (in-joy). 

Cathy is what my grandmother would have called some piece of work, but at least she shows affection to those boys. I don’t think i’ve ever seen a Michelle and Jim Bob interact with any of their grandchildren in a positive, natural way. 

[floridamom]

My opinion on bringing your own cake to a restaurant is that it would be quite rude to the servers. Here you are, taking up their table space time with your own food; not being charged for the dessert, which leads to them not receiving a proper tip. I'm quite sure the Dillard family does NOT tip extra for taking up the server's table/time. This is why I think they should have gone home and continue the birthday celebration there. These people are quite careless about others, really.

[JoanArc]

11 hours ago, latetotheparty said:

I honestly don’t believe Jeremy really thinks masturbation is any big deal. But he preaches it because it’s expected.  Sincerity is not something I associate with him. 

He can't deny drinking (and maybe having a drinking problem). He CAN deny ever masturbating. He's had his fun - and is going to make damn sure no one else does!

[galaxychaser]

Izzy is a Jill mini me.

the cake looks like Izzy decorated it.

[BradandJanet]

I had a very small wedding. After the ceremony, we took our handful of guests to a small restaurant for a meal. We brought in our wedding cake (probably with us in the car that afternoon) with the owner's permission and the waiter cut it in front of us and plated it. 

As for Cathy's book, honestly, I've lived a long time and have plenty of juicy/inspiring/stupid/funny stories to tell. I imagine most of us do. Is Cathy really famous enough or interesting enough for anyone to care? 

[louannems]

12 hours ago, sixlets said:

I'm strictly an East Coast gal, but I've seen people bring a homemade or "outside" cake at many restaurants. In most instances, the cake is never taken back to the kitchen.  It is cut/plated by the family or by the server at the table.  I've had two birthday parties at the same restaurant, and both times my parents supplied the cake even though they did desserts.

The day I took a homemade orange cake to my mom's 80th birthday party in a nice restaurant was an extremely hot day.  As soon as we checked in, the hostess took the cake and put it into the kitchen's refrigerator.  I was afraid the butter in the frosting seemed a bit soft.  She then brought it out after dinner where we plated it.  There was no extra charge for this.

[ginger90]

According to a description, Cathy’s book will be about her “battle with cancer “.