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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


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Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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13 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Parents can instill family and spiritual values in children without wiping away an enriching and fun childhood. It's not like acknowledging that rubber duckies can make bathtime fun wipes away Jesus. Jesus probably would have been fond of his rubber ducky too, if he had one.

What we see with the Duggars, even Boob and Mechelle, is that providing a fun and engaging childhood is WORK. So they use fundamentalism as a crutch to continue being lazy parents more concerned with getting knocked up and doing the absolute minimum parenting. 

The 'perks' of fundamentalism makes their jobs easier as "parents" ( or birthers, I don't actually think what Mechelle tried to do was parenting). Blanket training, instant obedience, strict gender roles, sister moms....all convenient for a large family. Horrible for the children but they are all just props to them end of the day. 

We see this laziness continuing with the second generation. Jill can't be bothered to properly entertain, supervise or educate her kids because she is too busy on IG. Jinger just brings Felicity to coffee shop after coffee shop instead of doing  age appropriate things Felicity would enjoy, we'll see how parenting is when Felicity becomes less baby and more toddler.

Joe apparently is unhelpful to the point where Kendra needs to go to her mom for help. And we all know Josh is too busy looking at porn online and eating cheeseburgers to help Anna. I have a hunch Josiah and JD are similarly useless. 

Jessa actually seems the least lazy Duggar-born parent to me, but the bar is so low it is on the ground. 

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1 hour ago, yogi2014L said:

What we see with the Duggars, even Boob and Mechelle, is that providing a fun and engaging childhood is WORK. So they use fundamentalism as a crutch to continue being lazy parents more concerned with getting knocked up and doing the absolute minimum parenting. 

The 'perks' of fundamentalism makes their jobs easier as "parents" ( or birthers, I don't actually think what Mechelle tried to do was parenting). Blanket training, instant obedience, strict gender roles, sister moms....all convenient for a large family. Horrible for the children but they are all just props to them end of the day. 

We see this laziness continuing with the second generation. Jill can't be bothered to properly entertain, supervise or educate her kids because she is too busy on IG. Jinger just brings Felicity to coffee shop after coffee shop instead of doing  age appropriate things Felicity would enjoy, we'll see how parenting is when Felicity becomes less baby and more toddler.

Joe apparently is unhelpful to the point where Kendra needs to go to her mom for help. And we all know Josh is too busy looking at porn online and eating cheeseburgers to help Anna. I have a hunch Josiah and JD are similarly useless. 

Jessa actually seems the least lazy Duggar-born parent to me, but the bar is so low it is on the ground. 

I think Ben engages with the kids and actually plays with them.

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19 hours ago, galaxychaser said:

Go fund me was my favorite part. They wanted 100,000 pounds. They raised... 47 🤣🤣🤣

It wasn't just the 100,000 pounds, it was the "Give us 100,000 pounds so we can be self-sufficient."  That was priceless. 

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1 hour ago, JoanArc said:

Too tired from what Jill? Work?

My thoughts exactly, but I seriously wonder if she really is clinically depressed.  I used to feel tired 24/7 until I finally sought treatment for my depression.

Edited by farmgal4
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26 minutes ago, farmgal4 said:

My thoughts exactly, but I seriously wonder if she really is clinically depressed.  I used to feel tired 24/7 until I finally sought treatment for my depression.

 I also know what it’s like to wake up and hardly be able to get out of bed. I’d have a lot more respect for Jill if she could own up to her feelings.  She might also be less tired of the boys went to school for 4-6 hours a day.  Food for thought, Jill. 

 On the other hand, it is Saturday. Derreck may demand lotion time time all day. 

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I think it's possible Jill is depressed--in fact, I have strongly suspected as much for quite some time--but I really don't think she knows enough about depression because of the way she was raised to recognize that is what is wrong with her.

I'd like to think I have a lot more knowledge about mental health issues and even have prior experience with depression but still didn't really realize how depressed I was last year until I left a shitty job. I can't even imagine how much more clueless she'd be with no real life experience and having been raised by her dysfunctional parents to not have real emotions and to always keep sweet. 

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I’ll concede (begrudgingly, because the whole inbred arrogant braindead crowd of them makes me snarly) that it’s really, really tough to have absolutely everything you were ever told you should have to be happy...and yet be miserable anyway. Hard enough to be depressed...worse when you have been taught you have no reason to be.

But Derrick is still a mean, arrogant little man and if I were married to him I would be gargling antifreeze.

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1 hour ago, farmgal4 said:

My thoughts exactly, but I seriously wonder if she really is clinically depressed.  I used to feel tired 24/7 until I finally sought treatment for my depression.

I’m glad you got treatment.  It’s a scary way to live 

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I don't think Jill is depressed. I think Jill is more of a martyr. She's been raised to think of raising God's army as a sacrifice. She also sees posts of other mothers who post 'real life', yet doesn't realize many moms are juggling more than she is.

I would diagnose Jill with Fundyism and cluelessness.

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1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

I don't think Jill is depressed. I think Jill is more of a martyr. She's been raised to think of raising God's army as a sacrifice. She also sees posts of other mothers who post 'real life', yet doesn't realize many moms are juggling more than she is.

I would diagnose Jill with Fundyism and cluelessness.

I don't think they're mutually exclusive. I think the one is what prevents her from even acknowledging the possibility of the other.

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2 hours ago, Barb23 said:

I've done plenty of stupid things in the kitchen as well but I don't feel the need to post them on social media.

You probably were not raised on television, either. Consider her background before you judge her. 

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19 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Screenshots from a video. “And I’m like.....” is the most used, as Derick is sitting at the table behind her, eating.

She forgot to add water to a macaroni and cheese bowl for Samuel.

48638A7F-A124-4DB1-95A4-C476DEA81457.jpeg

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Oh my, I must have skipped over the Mac 'n Cheese part, because my first thought while looking at that last picture was that those look like maggots. 

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2 minutes ago, galaxychaser said:

Maggots or Jill’s beige salty food??? Tough choice.

Hmmm...tough indeed. We had mac and cheese for dinner (with daughter, son-in-law and granddaughter). I can't claim my mac'n'cheese to be honest-to-goodness real, although I can make it that way, but for whatever reason, we all prefer a concoction of mini-shells mixed with butter, cream, and many, many slices of American cheese melted throughout. That's the ultimate comfort food, even though we all feel completely evil about it. So I only make it two or three times a year. As bad for you as it is on many levels, though, I'd definitely take it over maggots. And I'd probably even take Jill's version over maggots as well...

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On 11/5/2019 at 5:09 PM, Sew Sumi said:

The Dullards doing Dullard things.

Looks like a fun family night outside to me.  My family did things like this a lot when my kids were small and we all have good memories of those nights. 

Someone said something about their lawn used to be green.  Looks green to me still. 

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The area has had a lot of rain lately. I would be surprised if their lawn wasn't green simply for this reason. The fields and lawns didn't die this summer like they usually do in dry Arkansas summers, and this autumn has also been unusually wet. 

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Ya'll are making me gag with this maggots talk. We somehow got them on top of our outdoor garbage can one day this summer and I nearly died after almost getting maggots all on my arm when I was putting the garbage out . I still squirm thinking about it. I don't know what happened to them but all I do know is that I told my husband he was on garbage duty until they were taken care of ( by him ) lol.

I feel like Jill is depressed and also burned out on parenting. Staying at home really isn't for everyone, especially if you get no breaks from work/ daycare/pre school. I stay home with my daughter (aside from 10 hours of work a week). To maintain sanity you need to have a routine and a lot of stimulation/exercise for your child. JIll doesn't seem to have any of those things which is likely adding to her stress.

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I have another theory that may be totally invalid: I wonder that now that Jill is off the show and Derick is on the outs with JimBob Jill's IG is meant to be a DIFFERENT kind of influencer. 

If you think about it, Jinger has the "Fundies have expensive tastes and eat at amazing restaurants and drink lattes" market all wrapped up. Jessa is holding down the "Fundies have the most adorable kids and family" corner pretty well. Anna Duggar is catering to that specific kind of fundie woman who thinks that to suffer is to be godly. Put up with everything, churn out a baby every year, and you will be rewarded.

John David and Joseph Duggar never had the kind of following the J'slaves did.

I think Jill might be going for the "fundies are normal people with normal problems" market. I think part of this is personality -- she and Derick are just dull. But I do wonder if the sniffly kids, kitchen disasters, messy house, junk food freebies, and bohemian chic clothes are meant to give off a "we're normal peeps, follow us" vibe. 

I do think a lot of young fundie wives struggle the way Jill does -- after a lifetime of being told home and hearth are everything they find that they don't have much talent keeping the kind of perfect home and hearth that their church friends all seem to have. And so maybe they can relate to Jill. Thus, more followers. More "influence." More freebies.

Edited by Growsonwalls
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51 minutes ago, Growsonwalls said:

I have another theory that may be totally invalid: I wonder that now that Jill is off the show and Derick is on the outs with JimBob Jill's IG is meant to be a DIFFERENT kind of influencer. 

If you think about it, Jinger has the "Fundies have expensive tastes and eat at amazing restaurants and drink lattes" market all wrapped up. Jessa is holding down the "Fundies have the most adorable kids and family" corner pretty well. Anna Duggar is catering to that specific kind of fundie woman who thinks that to suffer is to be godly. Put up with everything, churn out a baby every year, and you will be rewarded.

John David and Joseph Duggar never had the kind of following the J'slaves did.

I think Jill might be going for the "fundies are normal people with normal problems" market. I think part of this is personality -- she and Derick are just dull. But I do wonder if the sniffly kids, kitchen disasters, messy house, junk food freebies, and bohemian chic clothes are meant to give off a "we're normal peeps, follow us" vibe. 

I do think a lot of young fundie wives struggle the way Jill does -- after a lifetime of being told home and hearth are everything they find that they don't have much talent keeping the kind of perfect home and hearth that their church friends all seem to have. And so maybe they can relate to Jill. Thus, more followers. More "influence." More freebies.

I think you're right -- except I don't think Jill is really doing it on purpose. I don't think she's tried to define her lane, or create a separate identity from her sisters -- although I think Jinger (and maybe Jessa) have done just that.

Being "regular folk" is one of J'chelle's schticks. I think that Jill is desperately trying to follow her parents' example, and her haha #boymom, so busy, just don't have time to do the laundry, etc. etc. is what she got out of growing up with J'chelle. The fact that it gives her an open lane in the J'slave marketing milieu is just gravy (and, I agree with you that it does). I think that the Bates daughters, and Jinger probably make a lot of overwhelmed young fundie moms feel inadequate.

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It’s an interesting idea...I’ve thought more than once that Jill’s best branding bet would be “dorky but trying hard fundie mom.”

The problem is that for every “oopsie!” post there are ten “we have the bestest marriage/date night/lotion time/ look at my new clothes/new house/best hubby evah!!!!” preen posts that obliterate the likeable doofus positioning. Then Derrick trots out some of his scornful passive-aggressive crap and that just makes it worse.

If they do have any SM help, whoever is providing it is terrible at it. Which makes me think they’re just winging it on their own.

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Jill is definitely trying to be relatable and relevant, but she has no lane because she doesn't know there are lanes. She Tweets the most recent event whether it fits or not. Jill makes no attempt to use quotes or catch phrases and she never edits a picture or video. 

Jessa is very intentional in what she posts and learned quickly to skip the 'mom fail' posts. Jinger tries hard to be trendy with her pics and words.

Jill's posts would be refreshing if it wasn't so obvious how hard she's trying. Someone needs to tell her the timeless advice of, who is your audience.

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On 11/8/2019 at 6:48 PM, Sew Sumi said:

I'm partial to Rubber Ducky. I still sing it in my head when I take a bath. 😁

It's a shame that Sam and Izzy are deprived of this oldie-but-goodie at bathtime. 😟

But remember, you have to put down the Duckie if you want to play the saxophone!

On 11/8/2019 at 6:48 PM, Sew Sumi said:
On 11/9/2019 at 8:26 PM, JoanArc said:

Too tired from what Jill? Work?

Super slippery sex marathons with Best Hubby Evah?

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To be a true, profitable influencer, you have to have expertise in something, relatability, personality and a unique view or focus that will attract people to your stories. 

Jill has zero of these attributes.  Her children are not exceptional, her cooking, fashion, home tips are all areas she's flailed around in and have failed at spectacularly.  Her husband is tiresome and unlikable. 

Her single claim to fame is that her mother's uterus produced her and 18 other children.

People may "bless" her in comment sections, compliment her children and praise her faintly.  They then go back to their lives, giving her nothing tangible, simply worthless platitudes.  That may be the fundie definition of success, who knows.  But there's no real money behind that version.  

Edited by leighdear
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59 minutes ago, leighdear said:

To be a true, profitable influencer, you have to have expertise in something, relatability, personality and a unique view or focus that will attract people to your stories. 

Jill has zero of these attributes.  Her children are not exceptional, her cooking, fashion, home tips are all areas she's flailed around in and have failed at spectacularlyHer husband is tiresome and unlikable. 

Her single claim to fame is that her mother's uterus produced her and 18 other children.

People may "bless" her in comment sections, compliment her children and praise her faintly.  They then go back to their lives, giving her nothing tangible, simply worthless platitudes.  That may be the fundie definition of success, who knows.  But there's no real money behind that version.  

You have succinctly nailed it!

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41 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

Jill posted this:

3BADC473-D89F-44ED-A111-88175FE18C3B.jpeg


 

"One of these things is not like the others, one of these things just doesn't belong!  Can you tell me which thing is not like the others by the time I finish my song?"

Is Becky from the third row somewhere in here?

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