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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


Message added by CM-CrispMtAir,

Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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On 6/4/2019 at 5:09 AM, floridamom said:

Go to bed ….fresh???Jill's post implies that she was unaware that she needed to shower, wash her face and brush her teeth before going to bed when she was single. I wholeheartedly believe that.

I was not even aware people took showers/baths in the morning instead of at night until I was in my teens.  Everyone in my family on both sides does the night routine because it’s Louisiana and hotter than the devil’s balls in July.  No way I could go to bed with all the day’s sweat and grime on me in 100 degree weather and 90% humidity.  

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4 minutes ago, Ijustwantsomechips said:

I was not even aware people took showers/baths in the morning instead of at night until I was in my teens.  Everyone in my family on both sides does the night routine because it’s Louisiana and hotter than the devil’s balls in July.  No way I could go to bed with all the day’s sweat and grime on me in 100 degree weather and 90% humidity.  

I used to shower at night because I grew up in a house with 5 other people and 2 bathrooms.  I could either get up at 6 every morning to shower or shower at night.  I still do prefer a bath or shower before bedtime every now and then especially when it is really cold outside.  

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Here’s another reason this was all written by someone else...we’ve seen plenty of times when Jill has looked less than dewy fresh, especially her tangled, matted no-doubt smelly hair and filthy feet.

If she really thinks she’s got a path to being the Anita Bryant of the 21st century by passing this off as her writing, she’s going to have to up her game.

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10 minutes ago, Ijustwantsomechips said:

I was not even aware people took showers/baths in the morning instead of at night until I was in my teens.  Everyone in my family on both sides does the night routine because it’s Louisiana and hotter than the devil’s balls in July.  No way I could go to bed with all the day’s sweat and grime on me in 100 degree weather and 90% humidity.  

Yep! Me too, for the same reason. I'm OCD about getting in bed fresh now. Even if I take a bath at 4:00 pm because I worked out and want to go out to dinner, I'll still take another one before bed! Lol!

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3 hours ago, jukie said:

When I read Jill's 'Sermon on Sex' I kept thinking about that circa 1950's how to be a good housewife article ...

http://realhonestmom.com/happened-lived-life-according-1955-good-wifes-guide/

Just so you know- many historians think this article is fake.  It supposedly appeared in  a housekeeping magazine but people have checked the supposed issue ant it wasn't there.  I used this my first year of teaching history and then dumped it because I don't know where it actually came from or who wrote it.

Of course, that doesn't negate the pressure on housewives of the 1950s.

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5 minutes ago, lucy711 said:

Just so you know- many historians think this article is fake.  It supposedly appeared in  a housekeeping magazine but people have checked the supposed issue ant it wasn't there.  I used this my first year of teaching history and then dumped it because I don't know where it actually came from or who wrote it.

Of course, that doesn't negate the pressure on housewives of the 1950s.

Even if the article is fake their are plenty of print ads advertising various products from the 50s that align with the article.

When Jill writes about "loving sex" remember she probably has no reference point. She may not even understand orgasms. She may just like one on one attention, she may feel very grown-up and she may feel pride in meeting her husband's "needs".

All still very effed up, but what many of us consider satisfying, wild, exciting, fun and sweet sexual experiences may be completely out of her wheelhouse.

So she may like sex 3 or 4 times a week with as much passion as someone likes ice cream.

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A lot of what she's putting out there & believes is born out of fear. I believe all the wives have a terrible fear of their husbands cheating or leaving them, because it will always be their fault. If it happens their circles will find some reason to lay blame at her doorstep, while for him it will be, "Yeah it was wrong, but she (meaning the wife)...", as in she somehow drove him to it. Sad & untrue, but the men are not held to the same standards. I don't believe this is God's way at all, though.

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10 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Even if the article is fake their are plenty of print ads advertising various products from the 50s that align with the article.

When Jill writes about "loving sex" remember she probably has no reference point. She may not even understand orgasms. She may just like one on one attention, she may feel very grown-up and she may feel pride in meeting her husband's "needs".

All still very effed up, but what many of us consider satisfying, wild, exciting, fun and sweet sexual experiences may be completely out of her wheelhouse.

So she may like sex 3 or 4 times a week with as much passion as someone likes ice cream.

I’d bet a ton of money that in Jill’s experience it’s ten minutes tops, including foreplay, until Derrick is snoring with his mouth agape. After all, Mama Fecundity told them “it doesn’t take long.”

I still call bullshit on even that. If they’re having sex that often she’d have four kids by now.

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6 hours ago, Christina87 said:

Recreational companionship?" Hahaha plenty of dudes love sitting on the couch watching sports, and don't need constant companions. I know plenty of females, however, who always want someone to go places with. I'd say this is more of a female need, because women are less likely to go out alone. 

I’m just quoting a part of your post, but I think in a heteronormative frame work that makes sense for a lot of men (a lot not all). It’s more socially acceptable for women to have close intimate friendships and spend a lot of time with their friends even when they are married. The same isn’t as true for men. They say LONELINESS is the next big killer of men, and that straight white men have the fewest number of friends (which statistically I believe to be true). 

I would think these days many people marry for recreational companionship- but men do it more than women. Women are socialized to get that other places. 

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1 hour ago, Christina87 said:

Yep! Me too, for the same reason. I'm OCD about getting in bed fresh now. Even if I take a bath at 4:00 pm because I worked out and want to go out to dinner, I'll still take another one before bed! Lol!

Same here! 

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1 hour ago, gonecrackers said:

A lot of what she's putting out there & believes is born out of fear. I believe all the wives have a terrible fear of their husbands cheating or leaving them, because it will always be their fault. If it happens their circles will find some reason to lay blame at her doorstep, while for him it will be, "Yeah it was wrong, but she (meaning the wife)...", as in she somehow drove him to it. Sad & untrue, but the men are not held to the same standards. I don't believe this is God's way at all, though.

I wonder if this fucked up thinking is what Anna thinks. And why she stays with Joshley. Gag. 

I can't imagine derkwad cheating on Jilly unless he was paying for it. Even Becky in the third row wouldn't polish his knob for free. Welp, back to the brain bleach! 

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22 minutes ago, QuinnInND said:

I wonder if this fucked up thinking is what Anna thinks. And why she stays with Joshley. Gag.

They may be of the mindset that divorce is not an option, ever, when clearly Jesus even said it was allowed for adultery.  I've heard it many times where a wife is married to a serial cheater, goes to the Pastor & he tells her divorce is not an option & then proceeds to tell her what she should do to keep her husband from straying.  Meanwhile no one is talking to the husband about his sinful behavior. Often the wives can't even feel safe talking to other women, because they buy that crap & spit it back to each other. They end up with no one to turn to & stuck in a toxic 'marriage'. Or, they leave, but in doing so will lose the support of most people around them. It's spiritual abuse.

It's not always the case, but I hear about it way too often.

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(edited)
3 hours ago, Ijustwantsomechips said:

I was not even aware people took showers/baths in the morning instead of at night until I was in my teens.  Everyone in my family on both sides does the night routine because it’s Louisiana and hotter than the devil’s balls in July.  No way I could go to bed with all the day’s sweat and grime on me in 100 degree weather and 90% humidity.  

Same here! My family was mostly in construction. Between that and Arkansas summers, nobody in the family took morning showers. I didn't even realize morning showers were considered the norm until I was an adult in college. 

Edited by Zella
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(edited)
8 hours ago, farmgal4 said:

According to Jill, she does certain chores on certain days (wash dishes on Tuesday), so she may clean her floors in the same way.  There may’ve been 3 days worth of food in that photo.

She only does dishes once a week? Ew.

I'll admit to only vacuuming maybe once a week but I'm an adult that lives alone and works 40+ hours a week and goes out with friends regularly. My floors don't get that dirty. (I sweep the kitchen floors more regularly.)

Edited by McManda
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I just saw a blind item about Jill and Dreck (not exactly blind when it doesn’t match anyone else) suddenly fleeing a foreign country and not being allowed back without facing jail time. Who else did they kill besides the shower rack?

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(edited)
21 minutes ago, EmeraldGirl said:

I just saw a blind item about Jill and Dreck (not exactly blind when it doesn’t match anyone else) suddenly fleeing a foreign country and not being allowed back without facing jail time. Who else did they kill besides the shower rack?

I remember some rumors/blind item when the friend of theirs was kidnapped and murdered in El Salvador that somehow Derick was culpable. Do any of you remember this? I'm sure I didn't invent this in my mind. It always seemed a bit far-out there to me. 

Edited to add: the rumor Derick was involved is what seemed far-out there to me, not the fact that a man was murdered. 

Edited by Zella
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16 minutes ago, Zella said:

I remember some rumors/blind item when the friend of theirs was kidnapped and murdered in El Salvador that somehow Derick was culpable. Do any of you remember this? I'm sure I didn't invent this in my mind. It always seemed a bit far-out there to me. 

You remember correctly. It's easy to believe Derrick is shady but a murderer? 

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7 minutes ago, babyhouseman said:

You remember correctly. It's easy to believe Derrick is shady but a murderer? 

Yeah I really don't like Derick and feel dirty defending him, but that just seems a bit much.

I went back to track down the story, and maybe people saw something sinister in them mentioning the murder within a week of them leaving the country permanently. But equally valid interpretations that don't involve murder is it frightening them into leaving or the departure date already been set. 

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1 minute ago, Sew Sumi said:

I think that a friend was murdered, not that Derelict was ever implicated in his murder.

It was never a mainstream accusation, for sure, but I am pretty sure there was a blind item and discussion about it on here. 

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(edited)

Nope. Killing someone is way too direct and hands-on for Derrick. He’s more of hide behind a keyboard and endlessly bitch kind of guy.

Now I could see him Death Yelping him or unfollowing him on Twitter...

Edited by Oldernowiser
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6 hours ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I used to shower at night because I grew up in a house with 5 other people and 2 bathrooms.  I could either get up at 6 every morning to shower or shower at night.  I still do prefer a bath or shower before bedtime every now and then especially when it is really cold outside.  

I got you beat. I shower at night because we had 7 people and only 1 bathroom. Also learned to shower in less than 10 minutes. 

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17 hours ago, libgirl2 said:

My son was a very neat eater. I made certain of it and so did my mom who baby sat for me. I was a neat eater too. The three of us used to go to a local mall to shop, walk around and have lunch (I worked only part time). I remember one time, this woman with a toddler left her table at the food court covered in food, the floor the same..... I felt bad for the woman who cleans the tables who had to come clean up. Meanwhile our table was spotless, if there were crumbs I always picked them up or a smear of ketchup, I wiped it up. 

Another time, once my son was older, our family went to a local restaurant/pub for an early dinner. There were 2 woman and about 4 kids at a circular booth having  dinner. We were seated nearby where we could see them. When they left the place looked like a tornado hit. Cups over turned, some on the floor, napkins and utensils on the floor, not to mention the food all over the place, as if they had no plates. The poor staff (most of whom were young) looked dejected. 

Just because one is out, doesn't mean you can leave a place a disaster. If you make a mess clean it up. 

Some kids are just more messy than others. My older daughter rarely threw anything on the floor while my younger is quite a bit more messy. I try to prevent what I can, but in a restaurant especially, you can’t always keep everything 100% clean especially if you’re trying to eat yourself. I always use a napkin to clean off the top of the table when we’re done and leave an extra nice tip if the floor has a few crumbs that need to be vacuumed. That’s just common courtesy (so obviously not something I’d expect from the Duggars). My older daughter (who was about 2 at the time) once grabbed a glass Parmesan cheese shaker off the table at a pizza place and dropped it on the floor before I could get it away from her (it broke). The waitress was very nice about it but we left a tip that was half the bill because we were so mortified. 

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Don't believe for a minute that Jill wrote that crap. She might believe it but she lifted this from another source or sources. In the early 70's Marabel Morgan wrote a book with basically this same stupid advice, The Total Woman.  Lots of women bought into this. This was 40 years ago. FASTING for your husband??  No if I want to drop a few lbs. I'll do this for me.  According to Jill the natural follow up to Jesus saying love your neighbor was have more sex with your spouse.  What a stupid young woman married for 5 years doling out advice on how to have a happy marriage. She should come back in 30, 40 or 50 years and let us know how all this one sided husband worship worked out for her  She must really be afraid that Dullard will stray if she needs to humiliate herself like this. 

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53 minutes ago, CatS said:

Some kids are just more messy than others. My older daughter rarely threw anything on the floor while my younger is quite a bit more messy. I try to prevent what I can, but in a restaurant especially, you can’t always keep everything 100% clean especially if you’re trying to eat yourself. I always use a napkin to clean off the top of the table when we’re done and leave an extra nice tip if the floor has a few crumbs that need to be vacuumed. That’s just common courtesy (so obviously not something I’d expect from the Duggars). My older daughter (who was about 2 at the time) once grabbed a glass Parmesan cheese shaker off the table at a pizza place and dropped it on the floor before I could get it away from her (it broke). The waitress was very nice about it but we left a tip that was half the bill because we were so mortified. 

Yes things do happen. Glasses get knocked over or something dropped, but those should be exceptions not the standard when you go out with kids. Just because someone is going to clean up after you doesn't give you the go ahead to be messy. 

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(edited)
11 minutes ago, libgirl2 said:

Yes things do happen. Glasses get knocked over or something dropped, but those should be exceptions not the standard when you go out with kids. Just because someone is going to clean up after you doesn't give you the go ahead to be messy. 

I agree. IMO it's unreasonable to expect tiny tots to be immaculate diners, either at home or in a restaurant. And accidents happen. But, it's also not cool for any party - whether composed only of people over the age of 10, or a group including tiny tots - to leave a table or booth looking like a crime scene. I mean crumbs, liquid spills, trash, and food scraps scattered everywhere, including the floor. It's common sense. And sadly, that's a commodity that is sometimes scarce. Sigh.

I don't know that the crumbs Jill photographed were from more than one really messy session with the kid. I'd like to think she's not as much of a pig as Jessa showed herself to be with the mound of dirty diapers on the dresser and the incredibly thick coat of dust on the end table (and *Jessa* herself posted that sh*t on social media). I think Jill would sweep up crumbs off the kitchen floor pretty regularly if only because Dillweed would bitch about it if she didn't. 

Edited by Jeeves
Pronouns. They can confuse when left to roam unsupervised.
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19 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

I think Jill would sweep up crumbs off the kitchen floor pretty regularly if only because Dillweed would bitch about it if she didn't. 

Given that Jill self admittedly waits until Tuesday to do the dishes and Dreck himself always looks skanky (remember the t-shirt pit stains?) I'm going to go with Dreck is fine with crumbs on the floor. After all, Jill lets him paint her toe nails and massage her feet, so priorities.

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On 6/3/2019 at 8:06 PM, Oldernowiser said:

For all of Jill's talk of keeping herself "fresh" for Derick and showering twice a day, why do I always think she (and Derick) is the opposite of fresh?  Whenever I see her photos, her hair looks smelly and I imagine she has a few days worth of body odor.  I never thought for a second Jill showers twice daily.

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7 minutes ago, louannems said:

For all of Jill's talk of keeping herself "fresh" for Derick and showering twice a day, why do I always think she (and Derick) is the opposite of fresh?  Whenever I see her photos, her hair looks smelly and I imagine she has a few days worth of body odor.  I never thought for a second Jill showers twice daily.

You're right. I'm sure it's more like she showers twice WEEKLY.

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37 minutes ago, BrianJ1962 said:

Is there a fundie friendly douche?

I doubt it. Can't  risk washing out the godly sperm they've collected and allow the devil to build a fortress. The devil just loooves building fortresses.

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6 minutes ago, Oldernowiser said:

Well, that’s how I think of Derrick, minus the “friendly” part.

Now, now don't single out poor Dreck. There are plenty of douches in the Duggar clan.

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You can shower and not wash your hair. In fact if you take daily showers that can be a good idea, because that way you don't strip your hair of natural oils.  Jill may be showering daily, but only washing her hair once or twice a week.

I could see fundies being into not washing their hair too much, because it saves money. 

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14 hours ago, Ocean Chick said:

I got you beat. I shower at night because we had 7 people and only 1 bathroom. Also learned to shower in less than 10 minutes. 

I got you all beat. 8 people, 1 bathroom, tub but no shower.  No way anyone had time for a tub bath in the morning.

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17 hours ago, Zella said:

I remember some rumors/blind item when the friend of theirs was kidnapped and murdered in El Salvador that somehow Derick was culpable. Do any of you remember this? I'm sure I didn't invent this in my mind. It always seemed a bit far-out there to me. 

Edited to add: the rumor Derick was involved is what seemed far-out there to me, not the fact that a man was murdered. 

The only way Derick would be involved is if he did something stupid and inadvertent, but I can’t see him killing anyone.  They said on the show that Derick would drive around for hours with a group of men looking for people to convert — get involved with breaking up gangs, or trying to cut off a drug supply by turning someone to Jesus, and I can see people getting killed.  Hopefully the “friends” would know better to keep Derick away from super horrible people but who knows how that group operates.

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4 hours ago, doodlebug said:

I got you all beat. 8 people, 1 bathroom, tub but no shower.  No way anyone had time for a tub bath in the morning.

Are you my sister? We washed our long hair in the kitchen sink.

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On 6/5/2019 at 12:06 AM, Scarlett45 said:

I was just about to post this. Jill is an adult woman, if she wants to talk about her sexuality I respect that more than those awful recipes!!

I’d rather Jill didn’t talk about her sexuality, sex tips, housewife tips or recipes. She should just do what a Jessa does post cute photos of her kids.

On 6/5/2019 at 7:22 PM, Oldernowiser said:

Okay the whole thing is completely fucking horrifying but this line cracked me up...

If nothing else, it will make life a lot more interesting for that poor wife...

Lol imagine Derek coming home one day and Jill says that’s she invited another women into their marital bed. Do you think he’d divorce her?

On 6/5/2019 at 7:33 PM, libgirl2 said:

This is the line that made me gasp! Seriously??? 

Let him talk first-remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

I wonder if there was a lot of unexplained male deaths in the 50s? 

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Hey, I only wash my hair once a week unless it’s pool or beach weather (which it is now).  It’s below my shoulders but dry, so that and natural drying works for me. But it never looks greasy, which I can see in most Duggars except for Jinger, Kendra, and the always man hunting Jana. 

Plus I have the luxury of being retired. I don’t shower until after the beach or pool, so once a day. 🙅‍♀️  Suck it, Duggars! Although I guess you could call all the women retired since they never do much (except Joy and her drill). 

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