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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


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Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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Well, exactly. They don't know what the hell they're talking about. But they're extremely sure that they do. I doubt that Gothard plays into it much. That's too complicated and it wouldn't encompass most of the tourist "missionaries" who show up, so I expect they go with a very generalized version of fundie Protestantism and that Derick directs the theology end. Given the sort of stuff he writes, I expect they're going with the most simplistic possible version of what Derick fuzzily understands and remembers about whatever he grew up with. I expect it boils down to something pretty simple -- faith not works, Pope is bad, Catholics worship Mary and they shouldn't, Jesus is coming back for a thousand-year reign but he won't unless we convert most everybody to fundie Protestantism first, etc. I doubt that they even realize that Ben's cracked Calvinism is, strictly, different. And they know it's right because Jesus told them.

"Faith not works?" WTH? I thought growing up Catholic was restricting, but I feel lucky now that I was brought up to appreciate the need for good works, even though I've been atheist for a long time.

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Well that photo really frosts my cookies.  Jesus said that you should not brag about your good works.  Certainly you shouldn't be posting them on instagram.  Why not buy the people an actual meal!  I just read a book by a former Secret Service officer about his interactions with the various first families.  He said it wasn't uncommon at all for Ronald Regan to hear of someone in need and have a check sent with strict instructions that no one was to know where it came from.  That's Christian charity.  Ughh!  I'm really pissed!

Edited by Ilovemylabs
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Wow - is that like the "Bible Dipping" featured so prominently in the book and then movie "Running With Scissors"... ? I didn't think that was a real thing ! It seems undignified and childish to me to chose the course for your day by essentially using the Bible as one of those folded paper Red/Blue/One/Two games I used to play in the fourth grade... 

 

Derrick seems to be on the verge of pulling a "Dear God, Do you like me ? Please check the box..." notes I started to send after I got over playing the folded paper game. He is a putz, a rube, and surprisingly easy-going in congratulating his wife on her new endeavor when she clearly put his first born (AND herself) in peril while totally ignoring her "extensive" training. If she's really, truly certified in something that will hold up to scrutiny here in the US I will eat my hat. Nom nom nom.

 

And, totally off-topic (forgive me !) but, Kalamac - I not only share in your love of chips and determination to watch Buffy rather than entertain anymore Derrick foolishness - I met James Marsters/Spike just last weekend ! He was kind, lovely, devastatingly handsome, articulate, and did I mention handsome ? One of the best days of my life...  :)

Haha! "Running With Scissors" is exact,y what I was thinking of also.

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I agree with you 100%. I would also like to add, though, that this is the ONLY photo of Jill that I've seen in ages where she's not doing the wide-eyed, lifted eyebrow thing that she thinks is so attractive.

She really looks like Jim Bob when she doesn't do the eyebrow pop.

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Wow, when the Duggars hear the word "free" they go apeshit, don't they?

 

Derrick looks like he could afford to eat a dozen himself.  He looks so gaunt, and the pirate look doesn't suit him at all.  Looks kinda gay.

 

Hey random homeless people, here's a dozen doughnuts, now let's pose for a picture showing everybody how wonderful and generous we are.

 

Bugs the crap out of me.  My husband and I were at a Wendy's recently and saw a man holding a sign, trying to get a ride.  I asked him if he was hungry, and he told me what he would like.  I bought him a meal, and wished him well.  He was grateful, and I was humbled how somebody with so little could be saying "God bless you" to me.  It's just what you do to help somebody.  No need to make a freaking photo op out of it!

 

Wonder what a bunch of sugared-up howler monkeys was like.  Hope they didn't visit any stores, and just wreaked their havoc at the TTH.

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If I could grow my uterus back and Jill was the last person on the earth to help me deliver, I'd still refuse.  No thanks.

I still have mine, though it's of no use haha, but I'm with you on this ! Even little ole' me, never been pregnant, obviously no babies, and vehemently allergic to the idea of going through the whole process, knows that a 70 hour labor with meconium present is, uh...bad. Pretty, pretty, pretty bad.

 

How is it even possible that Jill, who grew up in what amounts to a fertility cult, and has made midwifery her life's vocation, did not see her own signs of distress ?! Was it her false sense of pride propelling her to value a home birth over her health and the health of her child ? Was it that important to stick to the plan that she ignored the numerous red flags ? 

 

Little Izzy is here, healthy, safe and sound, thankfully, but I wonder if the whole thing could have been avoided if she's simply made ONE phone call ? 

 

Pride goeth before a...cesarean ? 

Edited by SomePity1066
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Well that photo really frosts my cookies.  Jesus said that you should not brag about your good works.  Certainly you shouldn't be posting them on instagram.  Why not buy the people an actual meal!  I just read a book by a former Secret Service officer about his interactions with the various first families.  He said it wasn't uncommon at all for Ronald Regan to hear of someone in need and have a check sent with strict instructions that no one was to know where it came from.  That's Christian charity.  Ughh!  I'm really pissed!

 

I heard that about President Reagan as well. There's also a practical reason for not letting recipients know the source of a check. Often when they find out it's from someone in the public eye, they don't actually cash the check. They hang onto it as a "souvenir" and consequently, don't get the help they need.

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I imagine Jill waiting at the anus to deliver the baby.

I don't think she's quite that dumb, but I can see her giving a blank stare at APGAR scoring.

She also probably thinks a baby having a tet spell is just being defiant and needs its will broken.

Edited by JoanArc
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I guess. I don't really see UP going this far out on a limb to get them, though, Stephen Collins or no. It would screw the Bateses. Plus, given all the press the Duggars have gotten for being too tainted for Discovery to air them, seems to me it'd be a pretty huge gamble for UP. Wonder if they'd risk having their image take a potential media beating for picking up such a property? I suppose a lot of their viewers might not care. And it certainly would boost their ratings. ... Well, interesting possibility, anyway. I guess we'll see.

I could see UP choosing a spin-off with Jill/Derrick and/or Jessa/Ben than a reboot of the actual Duggar family show. Though the bad press would still be alive and well, it would be a little more removed from the ick factor of Josh. 

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Sometimes we don't see in ourselves - healthwise - what others see as obvious.

That's why doctors should, and usually don't, treat themselves.

I give her a pass on not recognizing the signals during labor, because she was so hopeful of delivering at home.

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I don't give Jill a pass on ignoring signs of distress during her labor. It wasn't just her, it was her and a her baby. She recognized the signs and tried to pray them away. Praying through a difficult labor is one thing, but did she pray that the baby wouldn't inhale meconium into it's lungs?

Edited by GeeGolly
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Folks in need can do without over sized stuffed animals (Josh and Anna) and free donuts!

I would be ashamed of getting publicity for that- There is so much more they could (and should) do!

 

My Dad is from the Ronald Reagan school of giving...

(The parochial school he attended has become a school with many families in need)

When he was told that families would be told of his generosity

He directed them to "Tell them it is from Santa"

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Dressing up is sinful. They're all going to hell. And they couldn't just buy their own damn donuts.

 

I think it tells you something when celebrity-tv stars from a long-running but recently canceled show do this to get donuts. Wonder what else they'll be getting the kids to perform to bring in some cash and edibles. You might know that the kids would be the ones out working for the money. I suppose JB and M were back at the manse still trying to figure out whose plumbing isn't working well enough to produce Duggar 20. (or 22)

\Was it her false sense of pride propelling her to value a home birth over her health and the health of her child ? Was it that important to stick to the plan that she ignored the numerous red flags ? 

 

 

This is kind of the overall Duggar principle for living, isn't it? ... I mean, the same might be said for having 19 kids when you find that a) you can't really support them (Jim Bob) and b) you don't actually like kids (Michelle).

I agree. I don't think that Jill had any ability to recognize the troubles in her own labor.

 

I think that Jill was under enormous pressure (from herself as much as anyone else) to have an easy birth. From her perspective her mother is the perfect Gothard baby-making machine, and it is a huge part of her feeling of self-worth that she should be able to drop blessing after blessing without breaking a sweat. i think that her sense of self-worth was tied up in this to a degree that it's hard for us to comprehend. I'm fairly certain that there are plenty of women -- better educated and smarter women than Jill -- who desperately want a vaginal birth and ignore warnings and advice until there are no other options.

 

On the other hand, a huge part of this is that she is a Duggar. She has enormous faith in her own ideas despite her lack of experience and intelligence, just like her father. I think that we ignore this reality on the boards sometimes. We want to like the kids, but they are JB and J'chelles's biological children. They were all raised by JB and J'chelle -- in virtual isolation, no less. There really should be no surprise that they behave like JB and J'chelle as adults. People like the kids because they're kids, and we really don't know much about them except for the bits and pieces that we see in talking heads. The reality is that the ones people seem to like the most (like Jana, Jinger and Jenny) are the ones that say the least -- we can project our own hope onto them.

 

Reality, so far, has shown us that when they become adults and have their own access to social media, and we learn a bit more about who they really are, they're not especially likable. They are bigoted, uninformed, self-righteous, comically over-confident in their abilities, etc. They are like their parents, and their parents are awful people. 

 

I am optimistic by nature and I still hope that some (all) of the kids will move on and live happy, productive lives away from Gothardism, but it shouldn't surprise us if they don't.

 

I want to like this 1000 times.

Edited by Churchhoney
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Why would anyone want that much junk food in their home. Donuts are not healthy. They are deep fried and full of sugar. However this type of behavior, getting stuff for free, is being handed down. Sadly, crispy creme will not do this again without limiting the number of boxes of donuts. I know they think that what they did was wonderful, even before giving some away, however I think it was a desperate attempt for publicity and pathetic.

Edited by NoThyme
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Sadly, crispy creme will not do this again without limiting the number of boxes of donuts. I know they think that what they did was wonderful, even before giving some away, however I think it was a desperate attempt for publicity and pathetic.

I wonder. This time it got them national coverage for a promotion which only seems to cover seven or eight states. I was actually wondering if this wasn't product placement.

Sadly, I've had fresh donuts from the flagship Winston-Salem Krispy Kreme (I always forget to spell it wrong) and the one in Manhattan, and expansion doesn't seem to be their friend.

Edited by Julia
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I'd like to give hem a break on the activity itself. It was International Talk Like a Pirate Day, and they decided to do something fun with the kids. I can't get worked up about getting free donuts. But the photograph with those poor people -- that was offensive. But that's the Duggars. It's only real to them if it happens in the media.

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Omg that picture makes me stabby. It's just soooo wrong on so many "look at me" levels. And to have them hold up the sign......don't they even realize how they are humiliating these people?? What is wrong with them?!?!

 

Well, they didn't realize how they were humiliating the people in El Salvador with their shoddy and incomprehensible skit. So ....

 

I think other people are pretty much props in their lives rather than anything real. ... Not surprising with Jill, I guess, since she and her siblings have never been anything but props in their parents' lives and they've been encouraged to think of everybody else as props in the whole Duggar extravaganza. But Derick really makes me wonder. I would think his parents might have instilled a little more awareness.

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Regarding Jill taking so long to finish her training, let's not forget that she was always leaving town for speaking engagements, etc.  JB had to trot out ALL of the blessings at various events.  Those constant interruptions added considerably to the time frame.

 

If you want to give your free donuts to some less fortunate people, fine.  No need to take a photo and plaster it on social media.  

 

But what REALLY pisses me off is the typical Duggar attitude of " Oh look, free donuts!!! Let's get EVERYONE to get a box!!!  Don't these offers usually have a limit of one box to a family? But of course rules and limits don't apply to the Duggars because they are so special.  

 

I can just picture all of the area franchisees praying "Please don't pick MY store, please don't pick MY store!" the night before the event.

 

I can't even begin to imagine how area merchants dread seeing the Duggars walk into their establishments.

Edited by 3 is enough
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I actually liked the fact that Jill and Derrick decided to allow the children to dress up and act like normal children for once. 

 

What disgusts me is Derrick giving the one box of donuts to the homeless people that he got for free.  SICK.  Donuts are not a meal- just as ramen in a cup of warm tap water is not a meal.  If he really wanted to be a good samaritan, he could have picked up an actual meal and paid for it and took it to them.  This one really rocks my cradle and they just lose more and more respect with every post.  And let me state for the record that I do not have much respect for them in the first place. 

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I'd have rather that Jill and Derrick had the kids play dress up for the fun of it, not for the sake of getting free donuts. It's as if they're teaching the younger generation to be grifters. Then again, they may have to, Jim Bob's fortune won't last forever as his family continues to expand and if he refuses to allow his remaining kids at home to obtain a real education, this is what they will have to look forward to. Essentially begging for a living. 

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Well to be fair nearly every parent teaches their children to dress up to get free stuff by allowing them to participate in Halloween. You put on a costume and go door to door begging for candy. They didn't create the Krispy Kreme event. Lots of people dressed up to get donuts. 

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I've never heard of them being explicitly political. They just make really good donuts. I suspect that it was just a chance to play dress-up, like the boys' 'western,' create a little content, and display to advertisers that they can get attention for their projects.

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This sounds to me like something Derick did in college -- dress up with his friends to get free donuts. I think that the younger kids heard about it and wanted to do it, too.

 

This doesn't sound like a Duggar thing: Dress up like pirates? No. Celebrate "Talk Like a Pirate Day?" No. Jesus never dressed like a pirate, and pirates weren't good Christians.

 

It would have been fine, and actually a good photo-op of them doing something relatively normal, if they hadn't stopped to pass along "some" of their hundreds of free donuts and, of course, photograph themselved doing so and, of course, posting the photo on social media. I want to like Derick, I really do and I want to like Cathy Bynum, but it gets harder all the time. This isn't an advanced concept -- giving someone something they don't particularly want, or need, isn't really charity; giving someone something that they don't really want ot need, and then publicizing it isn't humilty. We know that the Duggar parents never modeled this, but what's Derick's excuse? I was willing to cut him a little slack on cat-gate because I thought he was kind of getting dragged along and influenced by the mob, but he chose to post this photo on social media.

 

He also seems to be completely tone-deaf to his public image: cat-gate; dontation-gate, and now donut-gate. His public image just keeps sinking lower and lower and he seems either unwilling or unable to do anything about it.

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JMO, I suspect that Derick was not so much (making a feeble attempt at) modeling Christ by giving those people donuts (which is works, after all) as he was (making a feeble attempt at) modeling Christ for the readers of People Magazine by letting them watch him give those people donuts. Roughly the same as his missionary tourism strikes me as more about showing what a godly guy he is than knowing anything about the lives he's asking those people to let his God into or even the language they speak, or easing their earthly suffering. He doesn't strike me as a very prayer-closeted kind of guy.

 

Which, you know,

 

1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.

2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.

3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.

4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.

9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.

10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.

11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.

13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

 

KJV, buddy. Just saying.

Edited by Julia
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Krispy Kreme makes really really really good doughnuts, from the basic glazed right through to the sinfully loaded.

 

There are several really good looking Krispy Kreme Bread Pudding recipes out there (Linda Howard's Drop Dead Gorgeous is where I first found it) that can put on the pounds and clog your arteries just by reading the recipe.  Happily for my health I had already been diagnosed with Celiac Disease when I first heard of it.

 

Also, I'll just say, that on some days outside any or even every Metro station in the DC area, you could find someone who had purchased a few dozen boxes of glazed KKD and sold them at a nice mark-up to work-bound commuters.  Put a couple of boxes of those in your office breakroom and bask in the instant love.

Edited by kassygreene
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Also, I'll just say, that on some days outside any or even every Metro station in the DC area, you could find someone who had purchased a few dozen boxes of glazed KKD and sold them at a nice mark-up to work-bound commuters. 

 

 

 

Tomorrow those people may be Duggars.

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The Duggars are so freaking tacky. They're making a big show out of giving homeless people donuts they got for FREE but would never think to use their own money to buy a ton of lunch meat, bread and apples to hand out a decent lunch on any other day of the week. They're such phony grifters. I just want to punch Derick and make his jaw even more crooked.

LOL!  Your post made me laugh- I mean really laugh!

 

ETA:  I TOTALLY agree with you!  

Edited by truthtalk2014
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I just want to know where in the world Derick got his hands on a black leather vest. And if it will show up in his regular wardrobe rotation. Is there a "Dress Like 'Sons of Anarchy' Day" to get a free croissant at Panera?

 

He borrowed it from Josh LOL

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You gotta warn a girl next time! Smugs' face in the first pic almost made me lose my lunch. Kidding. :) Anyway, yeah, she looks good in that pic. Looks like she's lost some weight too. Her neck seems smaller.

 

Derick looks a bit like Iwan Rheon playing Ramsay Bolton in Game of Thrones. His transformation has been interesting.

So...a few questions....

 

Why are the missionaries still here?

Why did they get dressed up for free doughnuts?  I like doughnuts, but I sure wouldn't go to the trouble of dressing myself, my husband, and my infant up for a free doughnut....

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I'm betting they are waiting for the Binessa baby shower, and the birth. By then it will be almost Christmas and they will still be here. Derick should be working on finding a job. He looks like complete shit since leaving. Good God he went from somewhat handsome to oh boy what the heck is wrong with him. He just doesn't look well.

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I just want to know where in the world Derick got his hands on a black leather vest. And if it will show up in his regular wardrobe rotation. Is there a "Dress Like 'Sons of Anarchy' Day" to get a free croissant at Panera?

I'm thinking he kept it from his Pistol Pete days. 

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So...a few questions....

 

Why are the missionaries still here?

Why did they get dressed up for free doughnuts?  I like doughnuts, but I sure wouldn't go to the trouble of dressing myself, my husband, and my infant up for a free doughnut....

 

No, but you don't support yourself by leveraging some vague approximation of your relationship with God to get free swag from national advertisers. They dressed up, they made it look like the kids are having a fine time, they got donuts, they turned Krispy Kreme's giveaway into a national story in a top-tier magazine. That's the kind of thing that keeps the swag-faucet open. 

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If those Dilgar pirates were truly doing good works, they better have had wet wipes for they people they gave donuts to. It's the work of Satan to leave someone with glazed-donut stickiness.

Edited by lulee
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