S02.E08: Episode 8

[OnceSane]

Mikey and Juelia go on a date to Guadalajara, Mexico; Joe confronts Samantha and threatens to expose her lies in order to clear his name as a villain; Kirk surprises Carly's with an impromptu fishing date; Justin Reich arrives and takes Samantha out.

[BubblingKettle]

Ashley I is mentally unwell. She couldn't even function, eyes bloodshot, moaning about a life of sustained misery.  There's no shame in getting counseling, and she needs to start now while she's in her twenties.

 

Juellia exploited her daughter, once again. Oh - did you know that Juellia is a single mom? Yeah, Juellia is a mom - had you heard about that? I know they don't really bring it up on the show.

 

Guadalajara is a known as a city for lovers? Arena wrestling is so romantic. I swear to you, sweaty wrestlers hurling their bodies outside of the ring towards me/touching any part of that athlete's foot and bacteria-infested wrestling ring/sitting on top of the duvet in that rickety fantasy suite --- NONE of that should happen.

 

I got bored with the last 10-15 minutes. 

[wovenloaf]

Woop! We got "conversator" this go around! Justin says, "You're such a great conversator."

[poopchute]

Good God I keep thinking Juelia can't get any dumber or more pathetic and then she does. Is she making up things again when she says Mikey came back from Chicago or does she really believe that? And also she think he came back "for her" and not just to be back on the show? Get a fucking clue honey. Holy shit she is a moron. And her hair looks like a Halloween wig!! Please someone help her.

[nutty1]

Woop! We got "conversator" this go around! Justin says, "You're such a great conversator."

 

We also got "exceptations" from Joe!!

[Bobcatkitten]

There are so many people coming and going I can't even keep up with who is there. Too many!

 

If Ashley I wasn't so emotionally unbalanced I would think some of these guys would like her. She's pretty. And can be funny at times. When she's not crying. 

 

Is Samantha going to date like five of these guys at once or something. And I'm tired of hearing about the text. Show it. Other than her getting some blame it doesn't relieve him of his actions though. Joe still did what he did. Doesn't matter if someone told him to. There was no gun to the head. 

[TiredMe]

I really like Mikey but it was torture watching that date. I need Juleia off my screen.

Man Samantha was cold to Joe.

Si who is this unattractive Justin fellow and why was he wearing a dress shirt on the beach?

[Alapaki]

Either Kaitlyn's season was so much of a train wreck that I can't even remember most of the guys who were on it . . . 

 

Or TPTB know that Kaitlyn's season was such a train wreck that they feel they can just pull guys off the street and tell us they were on Kaitlyn's season because everyone was so tuned out.

 

Either way, . . . Justin who?

[Madding crowd]

This was a really boring episode for me. I'm tired of Samantha flipping her hair around like Susan Lucci and her constant worry about 'drama', there really isn't any. We have a bunch of supposed couples, and Joe, Samantha a couple of new guys. There isn't any sense of excitement or even wondering who will end up with each guy. 

 

There was zero explanation why the group felt Juelia had to have the rose, or why Clare had to leave but Ashley S. got to stay. They need to come up with something, anything to enliven this show, I can barely stay awake.

 

In regard to Juelia and the letters posted on RS site: I don't really like Juelia, but there is no reason to believe her in-law's story is any more accurate that her own. When people die (especially young), there is a tendency to focus on their more saintly qualities and ignore the other parts. Also, the only people who can really know what goes on in a marriage are the two people in the marriage. I have a relative who lost a spouse from suicide. In addition to dealing with the loss of her children's dad, she faced various people coming out of the woodwork to accuse her of not doing enough or knowing enough. We will never know the true story of anyone's life unless we know them very, very well and maybe not even then, so I will give her a pass on that part of things.

 

Justin looked like he was sweating through his shirt the second he got there. 

[leighdear]

So Julia's a single mom, a widow and an easy lay.  Good to know.  Her daughter will be so proud some day. 

[JudyObscure]

When people die (especially young), there is a tendency to focus on their more saintly qualities and ignore the other parts. Also, the only people who can really know what goes on in a marriage are the two people in the marriage.

I agree and I don't think anyone is saying Dustin was perfect or that the suicide was Juelia's fault, but we all saw her tell the world about Dustin shooting himself when the family had been trying to keep the gun part a secret and we all heard her say he was having trouble accepting the baby when, whether true or not, we didn't need to know. Her daughter will see that someday.

[portfino]

Either Kaitlyn's season was so much of a train wreck that I can't even remember most of the guys who were on it . . . 

 

Or TPTB know that Kaitlyn's season was such a train wreck that they feel they can just pull guys off the street and tell us they were on Kaitlyn's season because everyone was so tuned out.

 

Either way, . . . Justin who?

Clearly, Ben Z said no for some reason, and Cupcake has a real job. Then they went down the list.

[Mu Shu]

Justin is that guy who looked a lot like that other guy. I think he was the one with the bad '90's hair and the cute rap about Shawn looking like a busted Ryan Gosling. He was busted Matt Damon? His kid is named Spartacus? Or was that the busted Gary Hall Jr guy?

Is Sam really that desirable? I guess with the only other really good looking girls being the comely but crazy Ashley's , she stands out. Amber is cute, but the rest are busted and Tenly.

[Madding crowd]

I agree and I don't think anyone is saying Dustin was perfect or that the suicide was Juelia's fault, but we all saw her tell the world about Dustin shooting himself when the family had been trying to keep the gun part a secret and we all heard her say he was having trouble accepting the baby when, whether true or not, we didn't need to know. Her daughter will see that someday.

 

 

Actually, the letters did say Juelia knew about his problems, knew he purchased a gun and could have done something to help him so to me that is blaming her. I agree with you that she had no business talking about the personal details of his suicide or anything at all relating to their child on TV. As I said, I don't care for her but I also think she went through a lot and we don't know the whole story.

[VengefulScorpio]

I don't see what is so special about Samantha. She does have amazing eyes but that's about it. Her constant hair flipping and giggling is annoying. And did Dan say at the end in his TH he wanted to get to know her better or was I just hearing things?

Carly's constant giggling grates too.

[chocolatine]

His kid is named Spartacus?

 

Aurelius. And his last name is Reich, which makes me think of the kid as a Roman emperor/Nazi general hybrid.

[petalfrog]

Things this episode I could not even with---Juelia saying that Mikey came back from Chicago to be with her, "exceptancies," and "conversater." Justin strikes me as someone who presents himself as being put together, educated, and successful and he busted out "conversater"? Did we even get any good drunk making out? Nope!

[scrambled eggs]

Yeah, I'm not seeing how Samantha is so attractive. There's something so blank about her face--too much Botox? I could understand why so many guys found Gia (RIP) attractive, or Jade, but Samantha looks 40 years old. *

 

* I'm 42, I can say that. 

[OldWiseOne]

Is Samantha going to date like five of these guys at once or something. And I'm tired of hearing about the text. Show it. Other than her getting some blame it doesn't relieve him of his actions though. Joe still did what he did. Doesn't matter if someone told him to. There was no gun to the head.

No doubt. The text says do what you have to do to stick around until I get there. It wasn't step by step directions on how to choose the most desperate of the female famewhores, jam your tongue down her throat repeatedly to prove your intentions are pure, and then ignore her as soon as you have her rose.

 

Was Joe really trying to blackmail Samantha into continuing to date him? His whole schtick about how he doesn't want to show the others her texts, but it's not going to look good for her, thinly veiled threats interspersed with begging for her love.

[Ms Blue Jay]

Maybe it's all the makeup she wears, but Sam's face looks like a shiny plastic or wax sheet pulled over a very pointy triangle (the nose part).

 

I know it sounds mean but her personality is just so atrocious that it makes her look horrid.

[Irritable]

Was Joe trying to "charm" Ashley I. (during their second sit down wherein he asked for her advice - not the one where she was crying and he basically told her he didn't care) so that she would give him her rose, thereby allowing him to stay long enough to win Samantha back?  Read the room, dude...Samantha wants a fresh start with a new guy, not a fresh start with you.  Where is all the footage of the other women assuring Joe that Sam still cared about him and wanted to try again? Somehow he has delusions of grandeur AND an inferiority complex.

 

Justin really wore the wrong shirt on his first foray into Paradise, which is apparently miserably humid.  I was so uncomfortable just watching him try to move around with that thing clinging to him so viciously.  His haircut was not good on Kaitlyn's season, but I think the greased back look is worse.  He's got a great face, it shouldn't be so hard to find a hairstyle that works for him. 

 

Speaking of wearing the wrong thing...Mikey's shoes on the wrestling date?  Oh, Mikey, honey...no.  Those shoes will never be okay, but are even less okay with shorts and a t-shirt.  I'm going to really need for this to be the last time that the show focuses on him and Juelia.  She was "saved", they "have a connection", there's a shot at "love", she's no longer crying over Joe's deception,  let's call this DONE.

[backformore]

Hey Joe!  When a woman texts you to do whatever you need to do SO WE CAN MEET,  she doesn't necessarily mean SO WE CAN FALL IN LOVE AND BE TOGETHER FOREVER.   Obviously, Joe, you are a guy who comes across well in text messages, but in person you are not impressive.  

If you can pretend to like someone in order to get what you want, don't be so outraged that someone will pretend to like you to get what she wants.

 

I think the whole "bring Mikey back"  was decided ahead of time because the producers wanted him to be there for the wrestling date.

[KR Vermont]

I see Samantha resembling the Wicked Witch and Joe her Flying Monkey.

[Andromeda]

No doubt. The text says do what you have to do to stick around until I get there. It wasn't step by step directions on how to choose the most desperate of the female famewhores, jam your tongue down her throat repeatedly to prove your intentions are pure, and then ignore her as soon as you have her rose.

 

Was Joe really trying to blackmail Samantha into continuing to date him? His whole schtick about how he doesn't want to show the others her texts, but it's not going to look good for her, thinly veiled threats interspersed with begging for her love.

 

Yes! Yes, he was blackmailing her. It was quite creepy. Way to get a girl, idiot. Joe is despicable. As if Sam's text message (we all know how well we can communicate in 140 characters) absolves him of guilt, somehow, when -- like you say -- he could have done all he could in many, many less-smarmy ways. I'm still disturbed by his treatment of Jonathan. Joe seems to me like a prime recruit for a mafia boss, with his rock-bottom standards and willingness to do "whatever it takes" to get the job done, if so instructed.

 

I thought Samantha and Joe had already broken up, but Joe apparently thinks not. (Unlike Ashley I., who got the message Jared was sending her loud and clear, and subsequently had her young life ruined.) But then, Samantha didn't really tell Joe "Back off, it's over," and I think it's because she really wants to stop him from badmouthing her. So the blackmail is sort of working. Interesting that several of the other guys (and women) see her manipulative side.

 

So, what about Nick, who just arrived and went on one date with Ashley S.? Did he give up on Samantha? I get the feeling he saw Samantha in a different light -- and not a positive one. Probably doesn't want to get sucked into the Samantha drama. And I do think she's all about the drama, despite her protestations to the contrary.

 

Is Juhlwuzea ever going to realize she should just move on and stop dwelling on the Joe Drama? Will the producers ever LET us move on? I know she's hanging with Mikey, but she acts like no woman has ever been mistreated by a man before her, and the producers act like she's a frikkin' saint. And I'm SO BORED BY IT.

 

Jelwuia is so tedious and boring, and Mikey is so basically dumb but loyal, that I think they're actually a pretty good match.

[Jodio]

This show read like a PSA to me: If a man only compliments your appearance, calls you trophy wife material, equates you with a carcass hanging on his wall, and says he's in love with you after some text messages and one date, major red flags. When you try to cool things off and his immediate response is veiled threats interspersed with bouts of begging to give him another chance, red flag. If he assumes that any interest you showed via text messages translates into being owned by him forever and not having the prerogative to change your mind at any time, for any reason, red flag. If a man takes a break-up worse than Ashley I, MAJOR RED FLAG. My only hope is that any women Joe meets watch this show and run for their lives. He has sociopath written all over him. 

 

Not that Samantha is all that. Way to pussy out of actually breaking up with Joe. At this point the only way she can redeem herself is if she walks down the beach in full Wonder Woman costume, thus proving to me that she really is the secret love child of Linda Carter.

 

Justin aka Busted Michael Anthony Hall really needs some breathable beach clothes, shampoo, and a clay masque to bring the grease level down.

 

When a bed and two nightstands with lamps looks like heaven (I'm looking at you, Guadalajara Fantasy Suite), the digs on the beach must be absolutely atrocious.

 

At this point, my only hope is that Nick sticks around long enough to gather sufficient material for another epic takedown of his fellow contestants on the way out.

[Scorpiosunshine]

All the malapropisms, solecisms and downright blunders on this show kill me. It's like watching The Sopranos, without the action and accents.

Mikey, during the discussion after the wrestling date; I'm paraphrasing: "I want to see where this goes, so I'm putting my best foot forward."

Really, Mikey? I don't think that's what you meant.

[KnoxForPres]

Too lazy to rewarch, but did Joe say Bonnie and Clyde, but meant Jekyll and Hyde when he talked to Sam?

Edited August 25, 2015 by KnoxForPres

[mertensia]

I wonder if Samantha knows she's coming across as someone who makes the national news for killing her three husbands, each of them older and wealthier than the last one?

Juelia: shut up. Lots of people have had substantially more horrible lives than you.

Ashley I: Life is not a YA romance novel where life is over if you aren't going steady by the end of the book.

Joe: Not that I think you are a prize but why are you chasing after a gal who decided you are not rich enough (that's my guess) for her?

Jorge: my friend, these people do not have the mental acuity to take your advice.

[JenE4]

For those who don't remember Justin, he is "busted Matt Damon." His hair grew in on the sides, so he has a more normal haircut than his swoop-over do he previously had.

Agreed with Jodio that Joe is a walking PSA of an abuser. They could take this footage and turn it into an After School Special. That was terrifying when he said she either gives him a chance and they'll get engaged and live happily ever after or he will make sure she crashes and burns. What the fuck?! Not that I think Samantha is some prize with her behavior either, but RUN! Ladies of America and Mexico, stay away from Joe!

[Rainsong]

So who is this unattractive Justin fellow and why was he wearing a dress shirt on the beach?

 

Perhaps he mistakenly believed the BIP cast would be doing one of those tacky shirts-n-khakis-n-bare feet group photo shoots on the beach.

Edited August 25, 2015 by Rainsong

[ClareWalks]

I'm not even done watching the episode, but Joe, with his "she has two choices: she can be lovey-dovey with me, get engaged, be together forever...or she can crash and burn" is SO ABUSIVE, it's not even funny. He doesn't even seem to LIKE Sam. He just wants to win. He called her a bitch repeatedly in the last episode (which is hours ago in show time) and now he wants her back? Or he wants to destroy her? What a fucking psychopath.

[vendredi3]

More than one person has used "conversate" now, so I feel like the producers are just trolling us at this point. Surely these guys can't be that stupid or uneducated, right? RIGHT?

[DeLurker]

So Julia's a single mom, a widow and an easy lay.  Good to know.  Her daughter will be so proud some day. 

I'm not convinced there was any "connection" between these two.  The snuggling and kisses didn't seem to have any emotion to me - I think it was all for the camera.  Plus, Mikey seemed a bit too enthused about the arena wrestling and the flying men's sweaty bodies...

 

I'm thinking BiP had some intern texting Joe as Samantha to get him all vested and she was in on it from the start.

Edited August 25, 2015 by DeLurker

[sofiah]

Actually, the letters did say Juelia knew about his problems, knew he purchased a gun and could have done something to help him so to me that is blaming her. I agree with you that she had no business talking about the personal details of his suicide or anything at all relating to their child on TV. As I said, I don't care for her but I also think she went through a lot and we don't know the whole story.

 

 

I agree.  No one knows the intricacies of what went on.  I think it is awful of Julia to "pimp" her story out, especially if she is misrepresenting certain facts... it is also awful of the family to imply that Julia is to blame based on her action/inaction.  Horrible all around.

 

I don't like Julia, and I think she is not the brightest bulb... but I don't think she's malicious.  I think the fact that she is surrounded by a bunch of enablers who are more then happy to attend her endless pity party, violin in hands, is not helping.  It also seems to me like her and Mikey pretending to have a connection might have been part of the deal of letting then stay in the show.  Their kisses have zero chemistry... zero.  

 

Am I missing something with Samantha?  She's pretty... but so are both of the Ashley's.  To me, if it wasn't for her personality, Ashley I. is the prettiest girl there.  Samantha has that ageless look of someone who has gotten too much work done.  I'm not saying she has... just something about her face seems off.  She must be stunning in person though.  

[wovenloaf]

Justin looked like he was sweating through his shirt the second he got there. 

Who doesn't change their soaking wet shirt before they go give hello hugs to a bunch of women they don't know, but allegedly want to date? Ugh. I do not find him attractive in the slightest. And the shorts hiked up around his belly button and soaked shirt unbuttoned down 1/3 of his torso did not help at all. 

 

Yeah, I'm not seeing how Samantha is so attractive. There's something so blank about her face--too much Botox? I could understand why so many guys found Gia (RIP) attractive, or Jade, but Samantha looks 40 years old. *

I think she is very very pretty, but I also agree she looks blank. Kind of like dark-haired Barbie - with the same exact expression on her face at all times, and the lack of emotion. 

 

Was Joe trying to "charm" Ashley I. (during their second sit down wherein he asked for her advice - not the one where she was crying and he basically told her he didn't care) so that she would give him her rose, thereby allowing him to stay long enough to win Samantha back?  Read the room, dude...Samantha wants a fresh start with a new guy, not a fresh start with you.  

When she said, "I want a clean slate," and he said, "Okay cool, let's do it," I was just thinking to myself "You doofus, by 'clean slate' she *obviously* means she wants to pretend she never even knew you." I did find it comical when he essentially told Ashley I. he didn't give a shit about her sobfest. I think "I'm not very emotional" coming from Joe just means "I don't actually have the capacity to feel emotions."

 

Joe CREEEEEEPED me out though when he said all the garbage about how Samantha can either "be all lovey dovey with him" or she can "crash and burn." WOooowzer. Okay. *shudder* He makes me laugh when he's just barging around being an asshole (like example above with Ashley I.), but then he comes out with super creepy bullshit like "LOVE ME OR I'LL HURT YOU" and I just feel really skeeved out and want him off my screen forever. 

[DeLurker]

More than one person has used "conversate" now, so I feel like the producers are just trolling us at this point. Surely these guys can't be that stupid or uneducated, right? RIGHT?

Are there enough entries for a BiP Dictionary thread?

Edited August 25, 2015 by DeLurker

[Primetimer]

On Bachelor In Paradise, some people fly to Guadalajara, while others go fishing, while still others sit around and sob inconsolably. The usual, in other words.

Read the story

[Dirtybubble]

 

Justin looked like he was sweating through his shirt the second he got there.

 

Who doesn't change their soaking wet shirt before they go give hello hugs to a bunch of women they don't know, but allegedly want to date? Ugh. I do not find him attractive in the slightest. And the shorts hiked up around his belly button and soaked shirt unbuttoned down 1/3 of his torso did not help at all.

 

 

IKR?!  What in the hell is the problem here?  I thought Mikey T's boob sweat was gross but this guy was drenched in sweat.  And holy crap did you see the previews for next week--this guy has the worst sunburn in history!  He is sooo friggin beet red.  Ugh so unattractive =(

 

It also seems to me like her and Mikey pretending to have a connection might have been part of the deal of letting then stay in the show.  Their kisses have zero chemistry... zero.

WORD!  Watching them kiss is just weird.  And then an overnight date?  Whaaa?  Really overnight?  And I can't get over Mikey's well "I'm a man" comment jeez my head is just spinning with the stupidity on this show.

[greyhorse]

Oh Joe, what a mess you've become.  Maybe it's just me, but I didn't realize that he and Samantha have only known each other for THREE days?  First date (which was the best of Samantha's life) and then the two days of drama?  I guess I couldn't really tell with the editing.  If that's the case, even creepier.  After one date, he knows that they're going to be together forever?  And acts like a lovesick puppy when the 8 point buck rejects him?  Sheesh.  Grow a pair and be a man.  Don't babble on national tv about how you knew it was too good to be true that you could be dating a 10+ hot girl because that kind of dreamy creaming in your pants stuff never happens to somebody as dumb and plain as you.

 

Samantha needs to choose her words better.  When she told Joe she wanted a clean slate, he clearly thought that it meant the two of them could start over and try again.  When really she meant that she wants to pretend that they never went on that first date and he doesn't want to interfere with her chances for snagging another guy.  Couldn't believe when she told Joe that she still had feelings for him.  Whaaat?  She is just scared that he is going to reveal the text messages, which at this point I am really really sick of hearing about.  

 

I don't remember Samantha at all on Chris' season.  And I don't really remember this Justin character at all either.  He and blockhead Joe were friends?  How do I not remember that?  And how is it that three guys now come down to Paradise specifically hoping to meet Samantha when the majority of viewers I presume had no idea who she was?  Is everyone given a yearbook of past Bachelor/ette contestants and then they can scope everyone out and do their own personal Hot or Not?

 

Mikey and Juelia.  First date fantasy suite.  Juelia - "would that be a problem for you?"  Mikey - "Well, no.... but I'm a guy!"  HA!  Keeping it real and saying it like it is.

[yorklee2]

New to posting here. So glad I found this forum. I've been reading all the posts..you guys are awesome! I hadn't watched this franchise seen Ben F season (and after that trainwreck I swore I never would again) but stumbled upon the Bachelorette premiere this spring and got hooked. You guys keep it real. Look forward to posting with you.

[CindyBee]

 

I don't remember Samantha at all on Chris' season.  And I don't really remember this Justin character at all either.  He and blockhead Joe were friends?  How do I not remember that?  And how is it that three guys now come down to Paradise specifically hoping to meet Samantha when the majority of viewers I presume had no idea who she was?  Is everyone given a yearbook of past Bachelor/ette contestants and then they can scope everyone out and do their own personal Hot or Not?

 

 

 

No one remembers Samantha on Chris' season as she NEVER had one talking head piece and never went on a date except a couple of group ones. But she was pretty well known in bachelor/ette land so no surprise that she ended up being the go-to girl for all the guys once Jade took herself out of the running on day 2.   All this knowledge leads us to Joe and Nick talking to her pre-show, Dan announcing on last night's episode that he hopes that Joe is out of the picture as he wants a chance and now Justin and his sweaty self asking her out on a date.

Edited August 25, 2015 by CindyBee

[saber5055]

Was Joe really trying to blackmail Samantha into continuing to date him? His whole schtick about how he doesn't want to show the others her texts, but it's not going to look good for her, thinly veiled threats interspersed with begging for her love.

 

 

All that means nothing. Samantha just needs one guy to give her a rose on man week, and one man to give her rose to on woman week. Any "relationship" doesn't need to be any more deep than that, just have a rose hookup to keep playing ABC for a few more days in "paradise."

 

Same with Joe now, he is digging around looking for some female, any female, to give him a rose. It's pretty simple.

When a bed and two nightstands with lamps looks like heaven (I'm looking at you, Guadalajara Fantasy Suite), the digs on the beach must be absolutely atrocious.

 

 

One word. Well, two words: Air conditioning.

 

Totally LOL at Guadalajara being known as "the city of love." If this were TB, it would be "the perfect place to fall in love."

Justin looked like he was sweating through his shirt the second he got there.

 

 

In fairness, he did say "it was raining." I imagine TPTB kept him standing around waiting for the correct time for him to make his entrance. Read: The most "dramatic" time to make his entrance. He certainly could have been caught in some rainstorm with no chance to change clothes before TPTB said "GO NOW!"

Edited August 25, 2015 by saber5055

[Alapaki]

But she was pretty well known in bachelor/ette land so no surprise that she ended up being the go-to girl for all the guys once Jade took herself out of the running on day 2

 

 

The only truly interesting thing about this season is that it's confirmed just how insulated and incestuous the "community" of former/potential-future contestants for Bachelor/ette truly is.

 

At this point, it's confined largely to former contestants and their friends and/or family.  I'd bet that very few contestants arrive at taping without having had a prior relationship (either in-person or cyber) with others on the cast.  And, of course, when it comes to BiP that figure's 100%.

 

I'm sure the contestants would say this is because they "share a bond" of having "survived the crucible" of being on this show.  But it's really just a pathetic, grown-up (in the biological sense only) version of the "cool kids' table" from the high school cafeteria.

 

The funny thing is that TPTB don't want to discourage that in-breeding, because it leads to the sort of Joe/Samantha and Kaitlyn/Nick drama that the show thrives on now.

 

But they can't outright acknowledge it, because they want to maintain the fiction that each Bachelor/ette cast consists of "the most eligible men/women from around the country", rather than "the most available rec-league teammates/gym-buddies of our former contestants."

[mostlylurking]

 

I see Samantha resembling the Wicked Witch and Joe her Flying Monkey.

This is the best!

 

The Ashley's are by far the prettiest women there in my opinion.  Sam is really pretty too, but she has a really small (but pretty) face.  Maybe it's just because her hair is so long but her face looks really tiny to me, lol.  I can't hear a word Carly says because I can't get past the parenthesis eyebrows.

 

Joe is a total stalker creep.  I liked on Kaitlyn's season when he was eliminated and she wanted a hug and he was like eff that!  You just dumped me.  But here he is just totally creepy with all his threats to Sam.  And am I the only one who thinks the text message is not a big deal?  So what if she did say "do whatever it takes to stay in Paradise so we can meet"??  Like Sam said, IT'S A TEXT MESSAGE.  She could have been making a joke, speaking generally, etc.  It's not her fault that Joe chose to shit all over Julia (I refuse to spell her name like she spells it).  If I were Sam I wouldn't give two shits about him showing the text.  I think it just proves what a psycho Joe is that he would take it to the level that he did (and I'm sure he would've done even more shitty things if given the chance).

 

Justin looks like a boy band member from 1996.  His shirt did look gross but I think I did hear him say it was raining.

 

For some odd reason I like Mikey, even though he is a grown man who still goes by the name Mikey.  He seems like a good guy.  He seems like he was having a blast at the lucha libre.  Because of this I hope he doesn't end up with Julia.  I know she's been through the wringer but I just think Mikey can do better.  At least they got to stay in what looked like a nice-ish hotel for their overnight.  It looked like a definite step up from the shanties on the beach.

Edited August 25, 2015 by mostlylurking

[KateeBar]

For some odd reason I like Mikey, even though he is a grown man who still goes by the name Mikey.  He seems like a good guy.  He seems like he was having a blast at the lucha libre.  

 

I noted on Twitter that Mikey is a particular type of affable meathead that I tend to really like in person. Not necessarily proud of that but...there you go.

 

Samantha and Joe are both pretty dead-eyed, and I'm over their whole story. It was just texting Joe. Move on, she's awful, even if she's hot. I get that physical attraction is important, but watch this show and you'd think that things like intellect and personality just no longer matter.

 

On the shallow tip, I finally noticed that Dan has a whole lot of forehead wrinkles, and all I could picture was Dylan McKay. I'm surprised Dan hasn't been tarred and feathered and run out of adult camp for appearing to actually age.

 

[jordanpond]

Although I'm finding the various spellings of "Juelia" amusing, I'm starting to find them all a little confusing.

I propose that for the sake of consistency we adopt the spelling "JUBLIA." If you haven't noticed it yet, this is the name of the toenail fungus ointment that is advertised during the "Bachelor in Paradise" commercial breaks.

Yup, that seems about right to me.

[Scout Finch]

Not that I really want to defend Juelia, but she did say she lives in Portland, Oregon. I'm a native Oregonian who's spent about 90% out of my 51 years here in Portland, and it's always seemed difficult for me to meet someone. From what I've read and younger people I know have said, it's only gotten more difficult to find a guy here, especially when you're in your 20s and 30s. The men tend to be pretty passive and the dating scene is, to quote, ) "tepid for single women." I had a gorgeous and smart friend who could not find a boyfriend throughout her 20s and up until almost her mid-30s. The majority of time, she also had to make the first move when it came to dating.

Edited August 25, 2015 by Scout Finch

[saber5055]

Not that I really want to defend Juelia, but she did say she lives in Portland, Oregon.

 

 

That reminds me, it was talked about here that she lives in San Diego. (Reference: The "whale's vagina" posts.) Then Mikey introduced her at the wrestling match as being from Portland. Which is it? I know many of these people change their hometowns for one reason or another.

 

Speaking of that wrestling match, how disappointed was I that when Mikey and Juelia went into the ring to pretend wrestle, that they didn't put on the Lucha Libre masks. No Lucha Libra wrestler would EVER be seen without his (or her) mask.

[OnceSane]

Since when is Guadalajara the Paris of Mexico?

When Kirk said, "You still caught something," I thought, "What, chlamydia?"

[Dr Witchbaby]

Too lazy to rewarch, but did Joe say Bonnie and Clyde, but meant Jekyll and Hyde when he talked to Sam?

 

I got the impression he meant Bonnie and Clyde, like, "Oh, we're two outlaws, breaking the rules, pulling the wool over everyone's eyes to find love and win this show!" Whatever, Joe.

 

More than one person has used "conversate" now, so I feel like the producers are just trolling us at this point. Surely these guys can't be that stupid or uneducated, right? RIGHT?

 

Like there's a producer sitting there asking, "So, Juelia, what do you think about Justin? Is he good at conversating?" I definitely could see that happening.

 

I don't remember Samantha at all on Chris' season.  And I don't really remember this Justin character at all either.  He and blockhead Joe were friends?  How do I not remember that?  And how is it that three guys now come down to Paradise specifically hoping to meet Samantha when the majority of viewers I presume had no idea who she was? 

 

I'm expecting/hoping for it to come out over the next few episodes that she was texting with like 20 former contestants, hedging her bets. I just want a constant stream of guys showing up, expecting to find love with Sam because she told each of them to "do whatever it takes" for them to meet.