Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Madtown]

@lookeyloo It's wonderful that you are still so close with your son in law. The bench and ceremony are such a warming touch to how wonderful Sweet Son was to everyone. A very nice memory and somewhere all of you can go and share loving memories.

 

[Scarlett45]

@lookeyloo thank you so much for sharing your tradition with us. You and your husband have been through a tremendous loss- there’s no word in English for the loss of a child. 
 

We are here for you, and appreciate your thoughtful posts. 

[iwantcookies]

12 hours ago, CalicoKitty said:

People are probably tired of seeing my cats, but tonight's cat blanket included a good grooming.

I love seeing your kitties. Thanks for sharing!

[iwantcookies]

3 hours ago, lookeyloo said:

Hello Small Talk friends.  Yesterday marked one year since Sweet Son died.  Our tradition is for a ceremony to "unveil" a "monument", usually a headstone.  (Here is one explanation for anyone so inclined https://www.jcam.org/Pages/Foundation/Education/articles/monument-unveiling-traditions.php

Because Sweet Son was cremated, son in law dedicated a bench in memory at the  park around the corner from their house where they walked and enjoyed.  Family including other son flew in.  Lots of friends.  Many loving memories.  Beautiful ceremony.  I made the drape used, with a design by son in law.  It was a labor of love but caused me physical symptoms while I was doing it. As soon as I finished the last stitch, all that lifted.  I am depleted.  Honestly, it is no different today than it was while he was sick and then when he died.  I look functional.  I don't spend all day in bed crying, but everything seems hard.  I do things such as my quilting, and sometimes go to the groups.  Having grief counseling.  I spend time outside and try to keep up with exercise. I have good friends and family.  Mr lookeyloo is here for me and me for him.  We are "tight" with the son in law.  It is still a misery.  I speak with some others who have lost a child.  I have had other significant losses in my life, but this is very different.  They say the same thing.

I try and read here - I'm sorry for everyone's pain lately, but, do enjoy the pet pictures.

Big hug. Think happy memories of your baby. He is watching over you.

Today is 4 years since my mom died. I can’t go to the cemetery I completely lose it seeing her headstone… being an orphan sucks…

 

off to wallow. Tell the living how much you love them, once they are gone they gone. 

Edited November 7, 2021 by iwantcookies

[Scarlett45]

14 hours ago, CalicoKitty said:

People are probably tired of seeing my cats, but tonight's cat blanket included a good grooming.

Nope- never tired of seeing your cats. Too cute!

[Madtown]

Anyone else having issues getting on this site? I can get to the forums home page, but when I click on any forum, it times out and won’t load. The only way to get into anything I follow, is to click on a notification. I can obviously post, but I can’t even get anywhere clicking on “Go to topic listing” either. It’s been like this for 2 days, on my phone and laptop. 

[emmawoodhouse]

3 minutes ago, Madtown said:

Anyone else having issues getting on this site? I can get to the forums home page, but when I click on any forum, it times out and won’t load. The only way to get into anything I follow, is to click on a notification. I can obviously post, but I can’t even get anywhere clicking on “Go to topic listing” either. It’s been like this for 2 days, on my phone and laptop. 

No problems here. Try logging out and back in. Or maybe it's a cookie issue? 

[Jeeves]

I haven't had any problems with this site today. It's been cranky or unavailable more times than I can remember, but not today.

[Liddy52]

It is working OK for me, also. 

[Nysha]

19 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

I found out yesterday that my Marine son is NOT planning on getting his four kids vaccinated...wtf! 😭

I feel your pain. I'm worried about my unvaccinated grandchildren b/c most of Idaho isn't vaccinated, either.

@lookeyloo, thank you for sharing. My heart goes out to you and your husband.

[Absolom]

My grandchildren have Pfizer appointments this week.  I wish everyone would do that for their kids.

[Love2dance]

@lookeyloo, thank you for sharing once again with us. You are in my thoughts so often. I am glad you have others, especially Mr. Lookeyloo and sweet son-in-law to comfort you, as you do them. 
 

@iwantcookies I am so sorry for your loss. Four years can seem seem like yesterday when it is someone as important to you as a mother. Hugs.

 

[andromeda331]

That's a very nice tradition @lookeyloo. Praying for you and your family.

[Mindthinkr]

We never forget those loved ones that we have lost. I lost my sister when I was 10. My parents cleaned the house out of all of her belongings. I secretly saved a shirt. I stroke it in my closet, look at her handwritten name on the neck tag, and sometimes wear it on her birthday. We all develop ways of remembering those we have loved to honor them.

So many of us here have lost people. These past years have hit us hard. My heartfelt condolences to all of you.  May you see something today that gives you a happy memory. 

[Scarlett45]

Sending support out to everyone who has lost loved ones. You guys have been a comfort to me during this year, having lost both my godmother and my Aunt E this year, although both were expected has been a great hurt to my heart.

I feel as if we buried my childhood on Saturday. I loved my Aunt, I served, followed and obeyed her. I have been comforted by so many kind words from everyone, anyone that knew me knew her and was absolutely in love with her. I was sharing with a friend from HS and he said "its good to remember how she was, not how she ended."

I got a call from a daughter of Mrs B (who took care of my sister and grandfather in his last years), she sent flowers to the services, and I tell you, I couldn't possibly identify the flowers because there were SOOOOOO MANY. SO MANY. 

Let's just say I am happy to be going on vacation soon. This weekend I may watch Sleeping Beauty and remember the joy of being cared for by a trio of sisters. 

For my Aunt E, who was certainly a Merryweather.

[iwantcookies]

This site barely works on my phone. On the tablet it works fine. Go figure.

[BetyBee]

I have backed well away from sugar (and some other things) this past week and I do believe it is having a positive effect on my eczema. It had flared up quite a bit since the service for my sister and I was about at my wit's end. I re-read a list of about 9 things that can aggravate eczema and I realized that I could do far better for myself. The steroid creams that are prescribed can only help for brief periods. I would like to find the source of the problem, rather than treat the symptoms. That said, I'm also wearing loose clothing and slathering Eucerin on throughout the day. I never had any skin issues until my 50s! My mil used to say that getting older isn't for sissies and she may have been correct. I'm thrilled to be alive, but I sure would like to be more comfortably alive!

[Ijustwantsomechips]

@BetyBee I hope your flare calms down soon. I don’t have eczema, but may gave rosacea and super sensitive skin. It took me about 4 months to figure out my laundry detergent was causing contact dermatitis since I never had sensitivity issues when I was younger. Thank goodness for Persil Free & Sensitive and Aveeno Skin Relief body wash. I miss some fragrant products but it just wasn’t worth scratching my dermis off. 

I heard the La Roche-Posay AP Lipikar balm worked really well too. It’s on my list if things to try. To quote my papa, “Getting old is hell!”

Edited November 8, 2021 by Ijustwantsomechips

[Ijustwantsomechips]

I saw The Eternals this weekend. It was really good; great special effects.  Having Jon Snow and Rob Stark together never gets old, and boy has Rob Stark aged well.   Very well!

I saw Dune the opening weekend and enjoyed that as well. And I’m really excited for Morbius. It’s so nice to be able to enjoy my movie going experience with the blockbusters that are coming.

Edited November 8, 2021 by Ijustwantsomechips

[realityfan26]

21 hours ago, Madtown said:

Anyone else having issues getting on this site? I can get to the forums home page, but when I click on any forum, it times out and won’t load. The only way to get into anything I follow, is to click on a notification. I can obviously post, but I can’t even get anywhere clicking on “Go to topic listing” either. It’s been like this for 2 days, on my phone and laptop. 

I feel your frustration! I've been having this problem for months. When I click on a forum I follow it just times out. I access the forums I follow by selecting  stream, unread content, time period of since my last visit and then under following, content I follow. I've tried logging out and back in; I haven't changed cookie settings and it does the same on my phone as here on my PC.

[Temperance]

A friend of mine is having her gallbladder removed. She's relatively young (mid-thirties) and she had a baby earlier this year. 

[Ohiopirate02]

3 hours ago, Temperance said:

A friend of mine is having her gallbladder removed. She's relatively young (mid-thirties) and she had a baby earlier this year. 

Gallbladders can fail at any age.   Both my little sister and brother had theirs taken out when they were in their 20s.  My sister's started to fail while she was pregnant with my nephew and had to wait until after she had given birth to have it removed.  She was miserable during her third trimester.  

[Cinnabon]

5 hours ago, Temperance said:

A friend of mine is having her gallbladder removed. She's relatively young (mid-thirties) and she had a baby earlier this year. 

I had mine removed about 12 years ago. It was quite easy. Hopefully your sister’s is easy as well. I’ve had no problems since.

[SunnyBeBe]

 If anyone has an opinion on noise cancelling earphones, I’d appreciate it.  I’m posting a link that has a lot of info, but it’s sort of overwhelming.  I don’t really want to pay $280, but will, if I have to.  My primary need is to eliminate the sound of a barking dog next door while I work.  I’ll likely be listening to meditation or classical music.  Comfort is also important.  
 

https://www.cnet.com/tech/mobile/best-noise-canceling-headphones/

[Mindthinkr]

Could I please ask for your prayers? I have a friend that is currently living (working) abroad with her husband and 2 children. In the last two months her Dad has been diagnosed with lung cancer, her Mom needed back surgery, but had complications and is back in the hospital, her good friend died from sepsis, another friends’s sister was hit by a rogue wave on vacation and she drowned, and her cat has developed a skin condition and he’s going bare in patches. The vet has tried injections of steroids, but they haven’t helped. Her children are only doing so so as a result of their country and school changes. I think her plate is too full and she could really use our help. I thank you for any and all prayers. 

[MargeGunderson]

@Mindthinkr, all good thoughts to your friend and her family.

@SunnyBeBe, I have these Bose headphones which are not the latest version, so they are a bit less expensive ($209). I got mine from Amazon as part of Black Friday/Cyber Monday sales and they were significantly discounted at the time. Another pair that gets high marks is this pair by Anker. I haven’t tried them myself, but they are recommended by The Wirecutter, and everything else from that brand that I have bought has been outstanding. 

 

[marypat57]

@lookeyloo 

Thank you so much for sharing the link to the Jewish funeral prayers.  They can be of use and comfort to anyone who is in mourning.

I’ve always thought that we can learn a great deal from the rituals of other faiths.

Please accept cyber hugs from me on the anniversary of sweet son’s passing.

[skatelady]

4 hours ago, BetyBee said:

I was in the waiting room at PT yesterday. A kind of grungy looking, overly talkative guy caught my attention. He started talking about the time change and the 3rd person in the room chimed in and seemed friendly. Then he started talking about wanting to get his booster. She shocked me by claiming to know many people who had serious consequences from taking the Covid vaccine. The guy calmly asked her if she knew people who had died from it and she turned very defensive and talked about one extremely healthy friend who had a "weird" heart attack "from the vaccine". I realized I was in close quarters with an anti-vaccine person. At least she was masked. I stayed out of it, but I scolded myself later for two things: 

1. I should not have judged him so quickly. He was really calm and logical as he chatted with her.  He was polite too.

2. I wish I had said to her, "all the more reason for you to get vaccinated to protect your health compromised friend!"

For the record.... *I* had a severe reaction to the vaccine. So, it really does happen! Consequently, I did not get the second. That fever/headache/fatigue/bodyache/hit-by-a-truck feeling that's supposed to last a day or 2? Lasted full-blast for 4 WEEKS for me, then tapered off over the next 4 weeks. Over $5000 of medical bills from this - because I was emphatically told by everyone that it couldn't possibly be due to the vaccine, so a whole lotta testing was done. (we have a $5000 deductible, then after that 20% of in-network costs). However, every test-able ailment was ruled out. The only blood test that came back as abnormal was sky-high inflammation - which eventually diminished in conjunction with the symptoms. But besides the prolonged incapacitation (sleeping 20 hours a day, as even a walk to the mailbox exhausted me), the most alarming problem was that the inflammation in turn caused acute glaucoma (which is not only incredibly painful, it can lead to permanent blindness). 

I mention all this because the situation is incredibly frustrating to me. On the one hand, I have acquaintances who hold me up as "see???? this vaccine is DANGEROUS!!!" and on the other hand acquaintances who dismiss me with an eye-roll because "everyone knows there are no side effects." But I just want to say, there really truly are side effects. And I'm not crazy! (except for my duggar fixation). I'm legit! And I'm also about to lose my job over this, because before too long it will be required that all teachers at my school be fully vaccinated - and I'm struggling to get someone to write a medical exemption letter on my behalf, because my primary quit the practice (and when I last saw him, he said "weeelllll, this inflammation marker is non-specific, so there's no way to know for sure if it came from the vaccine...")

Sorry about whining. I just always feel like I have to defend myself (totally illogical, I know!) when I hear a crazy anti-vaxxer story!!

[Ijustwantsomechips]

11 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

 If anyone has an opinion on noise cancelling earphones, I’d appreciate it.  I’m posting a link that has a lot of info, but it’s sort of overwhelming.  I don’t really want to pay $280, but will, if I have to.  My primary need is to eliminate the sound of a barking dog next door while I work.  I’ll likely be listening to meditation or classical music.  Comfort is also important.  
 

https://www.cnet.com/tech/mobile/best-noise-canceling-headphones/

Anything Bose is going to be quality. I loooove my Bose earbuds and wish I could try their new noise canceling earbuds. 

[Love2dance]

So sorry @skatelady. That sounds awful and scary. Surly, someone who treated you during this terrible time should be willing to write you a medical exemption. I am extremely pro-vaccine, but in your circumstance would be terrified to take another dose. Sending good thoughts that you will get an exemption, and be able to keep your job with weekly testing or some similar accommodation. 

Sending comforting thoughts @Mindthinkrfor your friend who has been through much too much recently. I just can’t imagine. So sorry.

[GeeGolly]

Good morning STers.

We're thinking of purchasing a new couch. I'm kind of leaning toward leather. I'm a little concerned about wear over time. Also, I'm not liking the chunky styles or the mid century modern styles. Do any of you have any suggestions? 

 

[frenchtoast]

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

Good morning STers.

We're thinking of purchasing a new couch. I'm kind of leaning toward leather. I'm a little concerned about wear over time. Also, I'm not liking the chunky styles or the mid century modern styles. Do any of you have any suggestions? 

 

Three years ago we bought new couches from La Z Boy. Initially I was pretty sure I wanted leather but we were shown a fabric made from recycled plastic that we liked a lot and it was easier to care for than leather. I needed something that had recliners and these function in such a way that you don't need much space behind in order to deploy the footrest. I don't know that I'll be able to find the information but I'll see if I can dig it up. The couches themselves are pretty plain and bland looking, but I do like that I can vacuum under the couch without having to move them. The recliner is electric and is sooooooo slooooooow and the vacuum grabs that cord so that can be annoying, but overall, I'm very happy with the couches. And they are very easy to clean. 

[BetyBee]

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

Good morning STers.

We're thinking of purchasing a new couch. I'm kind of leaning toward leather. I'm a little concerned about wear over time. Also, I'm not liking the chunky styles or the mid century modern styles. Do any of you have any suggestions? 

 

Leather furniture always looks so nice. My Mom has had a leather couch for probably 40 years. The edges look a bit worn, but it has otherwise held up and been quite comfortable. There are probably things you can use to prevent the seams looking worn. Mom's not one for maintenance! My only complaint is that it can feel cold in the winter. My bil just got a leather recliner from LazyBoy. It's really nice. We got cloth ones from the same source. They are beautiful, but we're actually not happy with them. Ours are noisy and in the case of my husband, the chair is not a good size for him. Anyway, I think you could go to any good furniture store and pick out a good leather sofa that you would be happy with. 

[ginger90]

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

Good morning STers.

We're thinking of purchasing a new couch. I'm kind of leaning toward leather. I'm a little concerned about wear over time. Also, I'm not liking the chunky styles or the mid century modern styles. Do any of you have any suggestions? 

 

My grandparents had a naugahyde set back in the day. It went from their house to my uncles house over the span of about 25 years,  and was as good as the day it was purchased.

[laurakaye]

I know there are lot of dog owners in these threads, so can I ask for some advice?

I have never owned a dog, and have always been slightly afraid of dogs, especially larger ones (goes way back to childhood).  My daughter and her boyfriend got a rescue dog about a month ago - she's a beautiful pit bull mixed with something else (not sure what) and we are very skittish around each other, lol....she's a sweetie with very expressive eyes and I want to be her friend.  She seems much more comfortable around my husband, who is a total dog person.  Last time we visited, she snuggled up to my husband while kind of giving me the side-eye.  My daughter says that dogs can sense when people are nervous around them.  I'm not sure how to overcome that - but we may be dog-sitting in the next few weeks and like I said, I would love for doggie and I to come to an understanding.  I already love her, I'm just not sure how to interact around her.  Plus, what should I do when she misses my daughter (she follows her everywhere)?  Thank you, dog moms!

Edited November 10, 2021 by laurakaye

[Mindthinkr]

2 hours ago, laurakaye said:

I'm just not sure how to interact around her. 

Try to stay in control. It is your home. No sudden movements that might scare her. I’m sure after a few days you two will find a rhythm that will work for you. Have some toys or her to play with and some treats that she likes. You are kind to take this babysitting job on. 

[MargeGunderson]

@laurakaye, you might check out the Pet forum here. Lots of pet owners who might have some suggestions.

[Madtown]

4 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Good morning STers.

We're thinking of purchasing a new couch. I'm kind of leaning toward leather. I'm a little concerned about wear over time. Also, I'm not liking the chunky styles or the mid century modern styles. Do any of you have any suggestions? 

 

We bought a leather couch and loveseat a little over year ago and waited 6 months for it due to Covid. They were both power reclining. They had lumber support and wireless phone chargers on each arm. This was going to be our furniture for quite awhile, so we went all out. We sat in it for a long time at the store and found it very comfortable. It was very expensive. $4400 total. Husband found it cheaper online, so we bought it through that company($3500).

Fast foward to not even a year later and we hated it. It wasn't as comfy as in the store and it started to make so much squeaky noises every time we moved. I didn't want to sit in it anymore and my husband was comfortable either. We ended up selling it to a friend for $1500 and ate the loss.

Bought another loveseat/couch that was the fake leather and hated that as well. We bought that through the actual store(Ashley Furniture. We don't have a lot of furniture options where we live). The couch was on back order and we were to get that this past August. Well, we didn't like this one either.

I went back and looked around a little more and found something that was so comfy that I didn't want to get up. It was much cheaper. It isn't leather of any kind and it was reclining, but not power reclining. We love it so much that we bought another couch to put in our basement as we needed to replace the one we had down there.

I know all leather(real or fake)can be differnent, but we had exhausted all our searches here in town and sat in many many leather couches. Not a fan of the feel, but that's just me.

[Ohiopirate02]

2 hours ago, Tikichick said:

What was the Prosecutor's response regarding the fingerprinting comments?   It's actually surprising sometimes that it's not so straightforward to find fingerprints as is assumed.   Quite often what's found is partials, and frequently not partials that can be directly identified to anyone.

Moreso for things like DNA, but sometimes this does apply to fingerprints as well, law enforcement and the prosecution have to be very strategic what evidence is forwarded for analysis due to cost constraints.   It blew my mind to find out that this even applies to major murder trials.   People assume things operate much like the OJ Simpson trial with the trail of blood drops, but that is very much an aberration from the norm.   It's exactly how thousands of rape kits sat unanalyzed in an evidence room for literally years before it became widely known publicly and there was a huge outcry -- and eventually arrangements were made to start addressing that situation.    

They legitimately thought the defendant was going to plea guilty because the other defendant did.  So they declined testing the various evidence due to cost and time.  When the defendant decided to plea innocent and it went to trial, the crime lab was too backed up to get the fingerprinting done.  The cop was a real asshole who definitely profiled the two defendants.  He saw a Cadillac being driven by two black men and chose to follow them and run the plates.  The criminals were idiots who stole the car and drove to another county to sell their coke.  The coke and accoutrement were found in the car with no way for the cops to determine which man it belonged to.  The driver took a plea for I guess stealing the car, I don't know because he was not called to testify.  The confession by the defendant during interrogation was weak.  Really the cops fumbled the bag and the prosecution tried their best with limited evidence. 

It was obvious the coke belonged to a drug dealer, and like I said Ohio law allowed for the jury to make that type of conclusion.  The lawyer for the defendant tried to say that the defendant made the money found on him by hustling at a local pool hall.  He also implied that us white folk on the jury would not understand why a black man would earn money that way.  It was difficult not to roll my eyes at that one.  I'm familiar with Jim Croce's "You Don't Mess Around with Jim" and have seen that one Fresh Prince episode with Uncle Phil and Lucille.  

Edited November 10, 2021 by Ohiopirate02

[BetyBee]

3 hours ago, laurakaye said:

I know there are lot of dog owners in these threads, so can I ask for some advice?

I have never owned a dog, and have always been slightly afraid of dogs, especially larger ones (goes way back to childhood).  My daughter and her boyfriend got a rescue dog about a month ago - she's a beautiful pit bull mixed with something else (not sure what) and we are very skittish around each other, lol....she's a sweetie with very expressive eyes and I want to be her friend.  She seems much more comfortable around my husband, who is a total dog person.  Last time we visited, she snuggled up to my husband while kind of giving me the side-eye.  My daughter says that dogs can sense when people are nervous around them.  I'm not sure how to overcome that - but we may be dog-sitting in the next few weeks and like I said, I would love for doggie and I to come to an understanding.  I already love her, I'm just not sure how to interact around her.  Plus, what should I do when she misses my daughter (she follows her everywhere)?  Thank you, dog moms!

I have found that often a dog bonds best to the person who feeds and walks them. I always told my dog to sit, then I would say "ok" after I had set down their food. (If your daughter does it differently, this might not be a good choice for while you're dog-sitting.) When it's time for a walk, I'd grab the leash and say something silly like "Walkies" in a fun voice when it was time to go for a walk (that's from Barbara somebody who used to be on PBS a million years ago). The dog starts to see you as both an authority and a fun person to hang with! She's probably sensing your nervousness. If you're really uncomfortable, you could let your husband be in charge of her while you're sitting, but it sounds like you would like to bond with her, so I wish you good luck. She sounds sweet natured, so I think you have an excellent chance of bonding. 🦮 😊

[Absolom]

1 hour ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

accouchement

Autocorrect strikes again?  I doubt the drug dealers were giving birth.  They may have had accoutrement for drugs though. 

[Ohiopirate02]

4 minutes ago, Absolom said:

Autocorrect strikes again?  I doubt the drug dealers were giving birth.  They may have had accoutrement for drugs though. 

LOL, yep.  

[Absolom]

1 hour ago, BetyBee said:

I have found that often a dog bonds best to the person who feeds and walks them.

That's true.  My recommendation is to put a couple dog treats that you've checked and the dog likes and are OK in your pocket.  Dog treats help treat loving dogs overcome a lot of obstacles.  After the dog has approached smelling the treats, then put one down for him/her and praise like crazy.

[Scarlett45]

9 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Good morning STers.

We're thinking of purchasing a new couch. I'm kind of leaning toward leather. I'm a little concerned about wear over time. Also, I'm not liking the chunky styles or the mid century modern styles. Do any of you have any suggestions? 

 

I am quite fond of the sofas at Crate and Barrel. Mine has held up well for almost 5yrs, with cats and now Cosmo. They are also very nice if you are a taller/bigger person. I was attracted to them because I knew a couple who could sit together (both taller than 5’9 and plus size) and not be touching!

[Ohiopirate02]

3 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

I am quite fond of the sofas at Crate and Barrel. Mine has held up well for almost 5yrs, with cats and now Cosmo. They are also very nice if you are a taller/bigger person. I was attracted to them because I knew a couple who could sit together (both taller than 5’9 and plus size) and not be touching!

I will have to keep that in mind whenever I need a new couch.  The last time my mom bought one, I went with her to the store and tested out the contenders.  I wasn't about to let her pick out a couch that was too short for our giant family.  I also did not care about putting my feet shoes and all up on the floor model.

[SunnyBeBe]

I love the look of leather, but it’s not comfy to me. Too cold for me, though I’m not a hot natured person. I like a soft fabric better. A store should have sample fabric you can touch. 

 I’d suggest you measure the seat width you like. For me that’s important. Some sofas have a narrow seat width and while that works for short people, I like to be able to lay down with another by my side on the sofa.  Also, consider if you want detachable cushions.  And, really think if you want a chaise lounge section on the end. I thought I did. I ignored warnings.  A lot of reviews will tell you it’s not like you think.  I don’t use it and it’s waste of space for me.  Pay attention to the length. Some sofas on sale are super short.   I’ve considered a recliner couch, but I’m not a recliner person.  Wish I was.  Beware of foam cushion seats. They can sink in pretty quick.  Make sure you have a warranty.  My parents had a Broyhill for over 30 years that was awesome. They finally gave it away to a needy family and our family still talks about how we wish we still had that couch!

[Ijustwantsomechips]

I had a Lay z boy for almost ten years. The frame and cover were still in such good condition that when we put it to the street, the neighbors took it. We were also able to get some ink off one of the cushions even though it had been there for about a month. It came right off.  It was long and tall and made for some awesome naps. 

[lookeyloo]

I love the discussion on sofas/couches.  There is truly no one size fits all.  I am short and a lot of them have me sitting with my legs stretched out.  I can't bend them.  So when we find one we keep it forever.   Sweet Son told us we needed a new one, we weren't in the mood to shop (the springs weren't springy anymore even though it was a good brand and we didn't want to go the reupholstery route).  When he was sick, he and son in law decided they needed new living/dining room furniture.  Maybe it made them feel normal. Anyway, they gave us their sofa which is really very nice and comfortable and fits us both.   The brand is Henredon.  Which of course, knowing Sweet Son, has a story. https://nestcasa.com/design-inspo/henredon-furniture-history-guide/.   This one weighs a ton.  We can barely move it to vacuum under it, which, since it sits low to the ground and there are no pets anymore, doesn't need it very often.  It does have cushions that aren't attached in the back (which I usually hate) but, these don't move no matter what we do to them.

[frenchtoast]

1 hour ago, lookeyloo said:

It does have cushions that aren't attached in the back (which I usually hate) but, these don't move no matter what we do to them.

The couch we had before we bought these LaZBoy couches were loose and I hated it because they moved. Both the seat and back cushions are attached in our current couches and that has its own issues--can't always get what drops in there and I know there are crumbs that I'll never get to. 

As for getting used to a dog, @laurakaye, I second the walking and feeding. Especially the walking. And toss treats as you're walking and hopefully seeing how thrilled the dog is (most adore walks and treats) it might make you more comfortable? You're also moving, the dog isn't solely focused on you but it knows you're there, and you can get closer or increase distance as you feel necessary. And maybe play outside a bit, too (with your daughter around). Something that you can do where you're not in a confined space and the dog is doing something it loves will hopefully create a positive feedback loop.

[Scarlett45]

3 hours ago, Ijustwantsomechips said:

I had a Lay z boy for almost ten years. The frame and cover were still in such good condition that when we put it to the street, the neighbors took it. We were also able to get some ink off one of the cushions even though it had been there for about a month. It came right off.  It was long and tall and made for some awesome naps. 

I had a lazy boy before my Crate & Barrel sofa for 10yrs- the color was amazing, only the cushions lost fluff. I vouch for them too.