S01.E02: Episode 2

[Dirtybubble]

WTF is up with Michelle M.'s breakdown about Ben?! Girl, you have been on this show 57 times. Leaving your child isn't that hard for you.

Did I miss something?  Did Michelle Money have a connection/date/something with Ben?  I thought her & Marquel were an item so why the tears for him? 

 

Dang this is going to get confusing with people coming and going each week, the hookups are getting confusing and who likes whom.  Besides I can't remember a single person from their season. 

 

Also I thought the hotel the recently kicked off contestants go was nicer than that stupid hut.  When it starts raining does the rain just come in the rooms and leave everything with that wonderful damp, sogginess feeling to it?  I would want to go back to the hotel with the friggin A/C (!!) and hookup with cute BIP crew members--good luck to ya Michelle K!  Or should I say Mrs. Putz (god that never gets old =)

Edited August 12, 2014 by Dirtybubble

[ShaNaeNae]

 I am surprised nobody is bitching she is getting all the dates. I like Clare, and seeing the video of some of the guy contestants singing "Baby's Got Back" and Clare dancing to it made me like her more.

 

What? Where?  I've got to see that.  I like Claire, but sometimes she seems so motherly compared to some of them.  She'll keep her head right but occasionally will make a duh comment.

 

I don't think I can take Lacy's voice for one more second.  It's babyish and vocal fry all at the same time.  Ugh.

 

God, it's driving me nuts! And the way she bends her head down and up while trying to look a shy kitten.  "Who, Me?"  It's annoying because it seems so perfected.

[Kbilly]

When it starts raining does the rain just come in the rooms and leave everything with that wonderful damp, sogginess feeling to it?  I would want to go back to the hotel with the friggin A/C (!!)

 

Seriously their shoddy lodgings are starting to bother me because it's like they're camping and everyone's all dirty and sweaty all the time. I'm used to my Bachelor/ette contestants being properly coifed and shellacked and bathed at all times. 

[Phoenix]

When Chris was running to the ocean with Elise, I thought what is wrong with his legs and arms?!  He looked malformed...and had a bumbling flat-footed uncoordinated type of run going on.  It looked ridiculous and very unmanly.  Then I remembered him in his Bachelorette season doing physical activities and it was not a good look for him at all.  Anyway his gait running into the ocean showed him with a very strange arm/leg pattern of movement going on.  His locomotion was off...quite unappealing...he did not have his sexy on at all.  lol 

[backformore]

I want to know who the guy is who played The Putz in the REENACTMENT.  I swear, they must have said "grab whichever crew member looks most like Ron Jeremy in the 80's" to go with that guy.  And I can't blame the producer for cracking up; the whole situation was just so ludicrous..

Wait!  That wasn't the REAL Putz?  I should have paid more attention.   was that just some random guy with his legs bandaged up?  That does make the whole thing pretty damn hilarious.  I didn't see the "RE-ENACTMENT"  still on the screen during that part. 

Edited August 12, 2014 by backformore

[OldWiseOne]

So glad that Dylan is gone. He's an idiot, worse than that he is so boring. And his passive aggressive bullshit with Elise, I just can't with that. Grab a pair of balls and strap them on, tell her what you really mean instead of skirting around the issue and hoping she gets it!

 

Dylan TH: "I don't want to be tied to Elise. I want to see other people."

Dylan to Elise: "I wouldn't mind if you wanted to see other people."

 

Marcus and Marquel and their need to confront Ben about the letter just irked me. First, digging through Ben's bag (although I'm assuming producer shenanigans). Then confronting him with the right reasons spiel, like a couple of dogs with a bone they just wouldn't let it go. The more I see of Andi's rejects the more sympathy I feel for her and the pool of duds she had to choose from.

[Dirtybubble]

Wait!  That wasn't the REAL Putz?  I should have paid more attention.   was that just some random guy with his legs bandaged up?  That does make the whole thing pretty damn hilarious.  I didn't see the "RE-ENACTMENT"  still on the screen during that part.

I was under the impression that the real putz (tee hee hee) was the guy at the very end with his legs bandaged up and the actor playing a putz (more tee hee hees) was the gentleman laying on the ground with his legs curled up in a birthing position.  I could have sworn it was said that in the hospital the guy in the gurney was the real guy.  IDK, this whole thing is kinda ridiculous to me.  And I agree with previous posters that the assistant was just acting like a putz herself.  All these people are a bunch of douche bags to me.  Oh yeah and kudos to you Chris Harrison with your 007 spy equipment listening in on Michelle K's conversation.  Sure there was no way to hear someone using the word "blackie" on Andi's season.

 

 

[MarkHB]

Wait!  That wasn't the REAL Putz?  I should have paid more attention.   was that just some random guy with his legs bandaged up?  That does make the whole thing pretty damn hilarious.  I didn't see the "RE-ENACTMENT"  still on the screen during that part. 

No, AFAIK the guy in the bed was the real Putz (read that any way you like).  But there was some other guy who looked nothing like him scrambling around in the bushes, etc. as part of the "RE-ENACTMENT" which is who I was asking about.

[KnoxForPres]

I was under the impression that the real putz (tee hee hee) was the guy at the very end with his legs bandaged up and the actor playing a putz (more tee hee hees) was the gentleman laying on the ground with his legs curled up in a birthing position. .

I am at work and just had an honest to god laugh out loud moment. I first read that paragraph the way I would have read a news article, internally saying things like "right, indeed, yes, I thought this as well".

Then it occurred to me the words you had written and I reread it and I am so tickled I cannot stop laughing. What kind of fuckery are we watching where "gentleman in a birthing position" sounded normal at first read!

[MarkHB]

Chris Harrison's blog. Some highlights:

But then Michelle and Mr. Putz decided to take it to a level of crazy the likes of which I’ve never experienced on this show. I don’t say that lightly cause I’ve seen a boatload of crazy over the years, but this insane scenario easily takes the cake. I honestly didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, or lock them both up. Obviously once Mr. Putz made the fateful, inexplicable decision to jump off the balcony and crushed both his heels, ending up in a Mexican hospital, we could no longer just let it go. The two of them made such a mess out of the situation that we had no choice but to include it in the show and tell the story exactly how it happened.

 

...

 

Despite an insane amount of warnings, Elise decided to offer Dylan her rose. Surprisingly (that’s sarcasm) Dylan refused her rose. The only thing that could have possibly made that awkward moment worse was exactly what happened next. Elise quickly decided she would get the last word and show Dylan by making an insanely bizarre, confusing awkward speech about… well, who the hell knows what? Oh wait—there’s more. Elise finished off the speech by offering Chris her sloppy seconds rose, and he gladly accepted. It was a beautiful moment in paradise.

 

I think with this show we've finally reached the point where Chris can no longer keep down the Kool-Aid.

[leighdear]

 

Isn't Elise a teacher? Scary.

I don't think she's been a teacher since she was on Juan Pablo's short list.  I believe she then moved to California to pursue "non-teaching" (read: waitress) and has been non-teaching since. 

 

You can usually tell when a woman has implants if her cleavage is like   ) (   with less than 2-3" of separation.  The perfectly symmetrical roundness of the interior curves and almost no center space are usually a dead giveaway of implants.  (my BIL is a plastic surgeon)

 

I dunno is Lacy's are real, because I've been oddly fascinated by the way the tip of her nose almost touches her upper lip.  Inconvenient during cold & flu season.  

[TheFinalRose]

Obviously once Mr. Putz made the fateful, inexplicable decision to jump off the balcony and crushed both his heels, ending up in a Mexican hospital, we could no longer just let it go. The two of them made such a mess out of the situation that we had no choice but to include it in the show and tell the story exactly how it happened.

 

 

Thanks Chris, for pointing out the further indignity suffered by Mr. Putz, that of having to submit to MEXICANS for his health care.

 

the gentleman laying on the ground with his legs curled up in a birthing position.

 

 

The producer's use of "birthing position" to describe the man's agony convinces me that all Bachelor production staff must be frustrated comedy writers biding their time in between their auditions for Lorne Michaels and co. 

 

 

When Chris was running to the ocean with Elise, I thought what is wrong with his legs and arms?!  He looked malformed...and had a bumbling flat-footed uncoordinated type of run going on.  It looked ridiculous and very unmanly.  Then I remembered him in his Bachelorette season doing physical activities and it was not a good look for him at all.

 

 

 

LOL. Remember when Chris had to participate in the Dubrovnik version of the Highland Games in Emily's season and he was humilated by Sean and Arie and a couple other hunky dudes? Emily felt so bad for him that he got the group rose date for "trying." And Sarah is such a sad sack on this show. She totally does not fit in with the crazy. She needs an emergency phone call from home asap to get her out of this show.

 

 

[Alapaki]

Obviously once Mr. Putz made the fateful, inexplicable decision to jump off the balcony and crushed both his heels, ending up in a Mexican hospital, we could no longer just let it go. The two of them made such a mess out of the situation that we had no choice but to include it in the show and tell the story exactly how it happened.

 

 

Um, Chris?  That "obviously" is something that needs to be proven, not asserted.

 

Why, could you obviously "no longer just let it go"?  It happened after Michelle had been eliminated and was no longer going to be on-screen.  Did you think we'd miss whatever it is that crew member did and be left scratching our heads at how and why the production values had slipped?

 

we had no choice but to include it in the show and tell the story exactly how it happened.

 

 

Well.  Let's try.

 

Hmmm.  You could've ignored it the way you ignore 99% of what every reject does after they get out of the reject limo.

 

That would've, you know, been a choice.

 

Boy.  That was easy.  

 

AND, while I always thought TPTB were total assholes for the exploitative way they handled the Eric situation last season, this little stunt should put to rest any shreds of the benefit of any doubt about Fleiss & Co. ever opting to do the right thing when the sleazy thing is an option.

[JudyObscure]

When Marquel and Marcus were reading Ben's mail and getting all judgmental and gossipy, I was saddened to think how much JJ must have wished he were there.

 

Dylan TH: "I don't want to be tied to Elise. I want to see other people."

Dylan to Elise: "I wouldn't mind if you wanted to see other people."

 

I kept hoping he would get so fed up with Elise's refusal to take the hint, that he would tell her the unvarnished truth. Something like, "When I first saw you in your bottomless bikini I was very intrigued, so much so that I thought you were beautiful, smart and kind. That night, in the ocean, I'm sure you felt my connection.  But after listening to your non-stop, inane prattle for an entire week, I started to feel myself losing my mind and, at the end, when you began to list all the traits of a Pisces, I realized that if you didn't go away, I was going to take you out in the ocean and sit on you at the bottom of the sea."  I swear I saw most of that pass over his face.

 

[Jillibean]

 

Ok, Elise was obviously talking TO the cameras, but Clare and AshLee were secretly taped through bushes and a closed door, respectively. That would be pretty cruel if their best meltdown footage came from taping someone who thinks she's confidentially speaking with a psychiatrist. Granted, I'm sure they signed waivers that nothing is off limits, but does that out-weigh doctor-patient confidentiality privilege?

As long as the "clients" are informed clearly about the limits of confidentiality and consent, information shared with a mental health professional doesn't have to be kept confidential. However, most clinicians won't allow their sessions to be taped for the media, due to the tons of ethical and treatment-based implications, which is why you often see the same people used on multiple reality shows (like the "sports psychologist" used on Dancing with the Stars this season who is also one of the therapists for Relationship Boot Camp). If you do choose to practice on the radio or on TV, as a psychologist at least, you're accountable for whatever you say or do during those programs. Most reality shows employ a psychologist to deal with issues that might come up during filming and to help participants transition back to the "real world" after being in the bubble of filming. Generally, those sessions remain private from the public. Most reality shows also employ a number of producers with no ethical restrictions who are extremely good at getting people to open up and who are crafty and creative in getting contestants to say things they might otherwise think better of. Having come off fairly recent seasons in which they went pretty far, Clare and Ashlee both probably know and feel comfortable with a number of people on the crew. I think Clare was probably speaking to one of them. I would have no trouble believing that Ashlee really was just talking to herself, as she appeared to begin muttering right as she walked up to her room, when there was clearly no one in sight for her to be speaking to.

 

 

Even if alcohol is a huge hot-button issue for him, something about the way he went about it turned me off (too little 'I'm concerned about you' and too much 'you have a problem'). Also, waiting until ten seconds before the elimination ceremony to express these alleged issues is just dumb.

 

I totally agree. First of all, he's known her for less than a week, since she arrived later than everyone else, and the entirety of the time he's known her she's been on vacation in Mexico on a reality show with free alcohol. Second of all, I highly doubt either of them believes at this point that this could be the beginning of anything more than a fun time on a show in which partnering up would be mutually beneficial. And third of all, even if he was genuinely concerned about her drinking, there were so many nicer ways to express that concern. The way he stated it came off as judgmental and superior. It's a challenging subject, sure, but I'm sure plenty of relationships have dealt with concerns about differences of beliefs and practices in alcohol consumption, and I'm also sure the best way to address it is slightly more subtle than an implication that one person is awesome and the other is a drunk. Michelle seemed both offended and completely bewildered, so I don't think the way he made the point was in any way effective. 

Edited August 12, 2014 by Jillibean

[JudyObscure]

I went searching for a picture of Elise in her controversial swim suit and discovered her in a soft porn video called  "Yule Log Hotties."  It's some girls sitting around in their holiday underwear, eating marshmallows with their backs arched.  Oddly enough it's porn, but it's completely work safe -- with different music it could be The Bachelor Christmas Special.  So I guess she's not teaching anymore.

[leighdear]

The whole Michelle / Putz situation was spoiled by Reality Steve back on June 17th.  The producers would have looked like idiots if they didn't reference it and just tried to sweep the whole thing under the rug.  

[Armchair Critic]

I want to see if Michelle actually kisses Marquel, I am assuming she just picked him because she figured he wasn't partnered up already and would be very surprised if she does anything physical with him.

[JenE4]

I'd like to point out that the letter wasn't the slightest bit damp, so the toothbrushing accident was BS. Granted, Ben's TMNT backpack did look water resistant for a slight splash, but even if his backpack was open, Marcus would have still taken the letter out, unfolded it, and READ it.

And perhaps Michelle's drunken, sobbing meltdown over Ben having a girlfriend is what made Marquel question her handle on alcohol. I think they showed someone physically putting her down in bed because she was so drunk/distraught. Granted, a lot of these girls are having (possibly) drunken meltdowns and everyone is drinking a lot. That might not make Michelle worse than Elise or AshLee or Lacy...but "not worse than" these train wrecks doesn't equate with "appropriate for a long term relationship." It does seem that the majority of these people (especially the women) are thinking in terms of finding their spouse on this show, so I don't think it's out of line to be thinking within a week or 2 of 24/7 with someone whether this is someone I'd want to continue a relationship with after the show. All of these couples have probably already spent more time together all told than any typical Bachelor/ette couple that gets engaged, by the end of this show, they most certainly will have. I also don't think it's hypocritical for Marquel to have been sipping wine while telling Michelle he thinks she might drink too much. He's obviously not opposed to drinking all together, but there's a difference between having a glass or two of wine to relax on vacation and chugging a dozen YOPO tequila shots and acting like an emotional wreck. That being said, we've seen one night of Michelle acting a drunken crazy fool, so I'll give her the benefit of the doubt on that one unless we see a pattern from her. This might be why Marquel is single; maybe he writes everyone off at the slightest sign of them not being "perfect," but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt on that too unless we see a pattern.

[Phoenix]

TO: THE FINAL ROSE...I do remember Chris doing so poorly during the Highland Games, then Emily feeling sorry for him and giving him the Rose for effort on that group date. LOL 

 

As far as Sarah...she seems to be the on air broadcaster/announcer on this show...giving her synopsis on each couple as they show the coupling and dates as they take place.  But her voice!  I find it nearly unbearable.   

Edited August 13, 2014 by Phoenix

[ribboninthesky1]

I just watched this episode (well, most of it), and I don't know - I don't see Dylan as a meathead.  He handled Elise as well as he could.  I can appreciate frankness, but I think he initially did what most people do when they're not really interested in someone: try to let them down easy.  Plus, Dylan strikes me as introverted, and that rarely, if ever, plays well on TV.  For my part, I don't think he really gave a damn that Elise made out with Chris - he just didn't seem keen to the shenanigans that Elise pretended to feign innocence about.       

 

The irony of Chris Bukowski railing on any other guy's appearance is...interesting.  If we're going strictly on physical appearance, I'll be the oddball and admit that I'd take Fat Damon over the original Damon any day of the week, and twice on Sunday.       

 

Could Marquel BE any more of a token minority on this show? Maybe I should read some spoilers, because I do not believe this dude has any chance of staying long-term.  Especially after criticizing the only woman who pretended to be interested in him. At least original recipe tries to throw a couple of tokens in the group of 25, you know, to not make it so obvious that they're tokens.  But I never watched the Bachelor Pad shows, so maybe they mixed it up a bit there.
 

Lawd, this show is soooooo low rent. I remember when, years ago, comparisons were made between this franchise and the VH1/MTV derivatives, and how funny it was that the Bachelor was "classy."  Alas, I don't care enough to find the article(s).  At least the re-enactment was hilarious (the primary reason I tuned in), and seeing a man assume "the birthing position," and the crew person lose her shit trying to describe the incident will crack me up to the end of my days.

[Palomar]

 

Lawd, this show is soooooo low rent.

 

And even after two episodes! It could get much worse (or better depending on how you are looking at it) once those long term relationships of 2 to 3 weeks kick in and are tested against temptation. 

[Beebee111]

 

ut that makes me think about who they're playing off the fact that Elise is obviously not the brightest, and essentially trying to embarrass her by making an already ridiculous soliloquy look utterly insane. This is the same thing they did at the beginning of the episode by turning a crew & cast member's mistake into a re-enactable joke. When did you become so focused on humiliation Bachelor? Or should I say when did you decide to make it so obvious?

 

Yeah. I felt sorry for Elise. She was the brunt of the episode. Granted she gave them lots of material to work with, but that must have sucked to watch back.

 

 

Lawd, this show is soooooo low rent.

 

Yea - I admit fast forwarding through bits (couldn't stand to watch Marcus' & Lacey's date for more than 30 seconds). I actually think it's more boring than bachelor pad, and that's saying a lot. There are some hilarious parts, but without any competitions/activities/challenges, the show drags on a little.

[maryshelley]

 

I went searching for a picture of Elise... and discovered her in a soft porn video called  "Yule Log Hotties."

JudyObscure, I have to admit that I discovered Yule Log Hotties during Juan Pablo's season, so I think that this is an older work of Elise's.

 

 

And perhaps Michelle's drunken, sobbing meltdown over Ben having a girlfriend is what made Marquel question her handle on alcohol.

That was my assumption, too. Michelle seemed to be wildly overreacting to the fact that Ben had Wrong Reason-itis, and the next day Marquel brought up the fact that "I think you like to drink." I mean honestly, if I was kind of getting interested in someone who seemed cool and they drank themselves silly on national TV, I might have second thoughts.

 

Could Marquel BE any more of a token minority on this show?

In the world of Fleiss & Co., I'd say "Yes. Yes, he could." At least in Marquel's case he is a real fan favorite and it seemed like they wanted to nab him for BIP because viewers found him attractive and charming, rather than because he is African-American. In most cases in the past on The Bachelor/ette, it has seemed to me almost a given that there are a couple of men or women of color on the show the first night, the B or B-ette cuts them after the first cocktail party, and we never hear of them again. But on this Island of Misfit Toys, at least he is not an unknown contestant cut in the first episode. 

[peachmangosteen]

This show is the best comedy on TV right now.

[Padma]

JudyObscure, I have to admit that I discovered Yule Log Hotties during Juan Pablo's season, so I think that this is an older work of Elise's.

 

That was my assumption, too. Michelle seemed to be wildly overreacting to the fact that Ben had Wrong Reason-itis, and the next day Marquel brought up the fact that "I think you like to drink." I mean honestly, if I was kind of getting interested in someone who seemed cool and they drank themselves silly on national TV, I might have second thoughts.

In the world of Fleiss & Co., I'd say "Yes. Yes, he could." At least in Marquel's case he is a real fan favorite and it seemed like they wanted to nab him for BIP because viewers found him attractive and charming, rather than because he is African-American. In most cases in the past on The Bachelor/ette, it has seemed to me almost a given that there are a couple of men or women of color on the show the first night, the B or B-ette cuts them after the first cocktail party, and we never hear of them again. But on this Island of Misfit Toys, at least he is not an unknown contestant cut in the first episode. 

I think it's obnoxious (but not surprising) that Marquel is the ONLY non white (non WASP?) there. Michelle's not interested at all in him, imo, he was just a "desperation" move so she wouldn't go home right away. She figured he wasn't paired up.  The producers--including CH--know how these hookups work.  With these kind of women, I think they assumed Marquel would be "odd man out" from the beginning--and didn't care. But to me, it looks ridiculous and just reminds me how stupidly UNintegrated The Bachelor is. Annoying!

[Andromeda]

Hilarious episode. Much more interesting than last week. Elise the Delusional One was the funniest thing ever. Wow. I can't wait to see Chris, the "player," try to get away from her next!

[backformore]

It doesn't make sense to me that a show that is this low-budget would have an actual psychiatrist on ths staff.  I think the assistant mis-spoke. They might have a therapist or possibly psychologist.  But a psychiatrist is an MD who specializes in mental illness, and most don't even do a lot of therapy, they give medication, and work with therapists who do the actual therapy.

 

Second -  that letter?   OK, Ben dated a woman for a few weeks.  Probably after he had already  decided to do the show.  But a love letter FROM someone does not mean HE shares those strong feelings.  On a show where a bunch of guys are "dating"  a bunch of girls, and they switch partners over the course of the show, why is evidence that someone has dated outside the show a big deal?

And consider the possibility that Ben's three-week long "relationship"  had her feelings intensified BECAUSE he was going on the show.  The whole "Bachelor"  phenomenon  has showed us one thing -  nothing makes a man more attractive to a woman than other women wanting him.

[ribboninthesky1]

In the world of Fleiss & Co., I'd say "Yes. Yes, he could." At least in Marquel's case he is a real fan favorite and it seemed like they wanted to nab him for BIP because viewers found him attractive and charming, rather than because he is African-American. In most cases in the past on The Bachelor/ette, it has seemed to me almost a given that there are a couple of men or women of color on the show the first night, the B or B-ette cuts them after the first cocktail party, and we never hear of them again. But on this Island of Misfit Toys, at least he is not an unknown contestant cut in the first episode. 

 

Not disputing him being a fan favorite, though I assumed his casting on this show was leaked pretty early on during the Bachelorette airing.  Would TPTB have had time to gauge viewer interest before casting him? In any case, he and the others from Andi's season really benefited from being on the season just prior to this show.  I'm skeptical he would have even been cast at all, if not for that.  Other than Graham, they're the only men I recognized.

 

Thinking on it further, perhaps a black man hasn't made it as far on the Bachelorette as he did.  Minority women have fared better than minority men, so I can see Marquel being a standout in that regard. And by minority, I mean racial, not ethnic.

[PreBabylonia]

 

But that makes me think about who they're playing off the fact that Elise is obviously not the brightest, and essentially trying to embarrass her by making an already ridiculous soliloquy look utterly insane. This is the same thing they did at the beginning of the episode by turning a crew & cast member's mistake into a re-enactable joke. When did you become so focused on humiliation Bachelor? Or should I say when did you decide to make it so obvious?

 

 

Here's my confusion -   Michelle K met a guy in the next hotel room, talked on the balcony.  Then they opened up the door between their connecting   rooms and hooked up.    When Chris comes to Michelle's room, the guy runs out and JUMPS OFF THE BALCONY. 

 

WHY?   They had  CONNECTING rooms! 

 

 

Exactly my thinking! There was no point to the jump at all. Even if their connecting door was jammed somehow, he probably could have just jumped over to his balcony. Or she could have refused to unlock the door, claiming she didn't feel well. I'm pretty sure their contract didn't extend to violating their motel room privacy. And most important of all: Michelle K. had already committed to leaving the show at that point. so it didn't matter anyway. Unless they were manipulating the chronology as well. Other weird things about the whole expose: the young producer casually revealing that she was accompanying the show's psychologist to a visit with Daniella (patient confidentiality something else this show decided to abandon?) and then cracking up with laughter. Then the cameraman's alleged name - Gary Putz. Pretty sure that's made up too (although I did find an actor/cinematographer with very few credits in IMDb. The whole thing was ridiculous. I know there is very little reality in a typical reality show, but Bachelor in Paradise has really stripped away the fourth wall during this episode.

 

I'm also wondering if I slept thru the portion with Marquel criticizing Michelle Money. I finally managed to see the missing parts of the show and I again missed that part, How on earth did that happen?

 

And on a completely shallow note, I find Dylan far more attractive than Chris Burkowski. Forget the fact that Chris is clearly a douche. The shocker is that he's not terrifically attractive himself, with those lovely shopping bags beneath his eyes, yet he feels free to criticize and make fun of Dylan. All this while Dylan is trying his best to unload Elise and is clearly not trying to compete with the Bachelor for Life. Douche can leave any time soon. I don't necessarily find self-involved misogynists to be charming just because they're bad. Even Ben was a tad more exciting. Also don't think Dylan was latching on or trying to use Sarah. He clearly was trying to stay with someone more stable than Elise, and he had a tiny history (date) with Sarah. I don't think that the typical shallow Bachelor/Bachelorette will easily overlook the missing hand, and her insecurities are far more unattractive than missing body parts, yet he was willing to give it a go. I would thnk that refusing Elise's rose first is a good sign that he wouldn't be using Sarah, so Sarah could have offered it to him to find out if there really was anything between them.

[RedheadZombie]

Elise, honey, he's just not that into you! Gah!

 

Good Lord she needs a copy of He's Just Not That Into You.

 

I stand by my previous assertion that they're putting crazy sauce in the KoolAid.

When someone first joins the Bachelor family, do they sign some sort of contractual agreement that they can only date other Bachelor people? I don't get Michelle's bawling freakout about having to leave her daughter to come here for a date. Is this really the only option for 'love'? Are there no men wherever she (and her daughter) live?!?

 

Yeah, but she was like, sick all day about leaving her daughter!

 

Holy crap woman get a clue! He all but spelled it out on the beach in coconuts. He's not into you. Dylan was running away as fast as his Fat Damon legs could carry him. The Elise show got exhausting tonight. She was relentless in her determination that Dylan was it & she also never shuts up. The silly music while she made her silly speech at the rose ceremony was gold. Thanks BiP! I guess Elise & Ashlee are hoarding the crazy pills & snarfing them down like candy.

 

Why all the shark tank analogies?  He put her in the tank and she was bitten!  I kept trying to remember what network Shark Tank is on and wondered if it was a cross promotion.

 

 

Here's my confusion -   Michelle K met a guy in the next hotel room, talked on the balcony.  Then they opened up the door between their connecting   rooms and hooked up.    When Chris comes to Michelle's room, the guy runs out and JUMPS OFF THE BALCONY. 

 

WHY?   They had  CONNECTING rooms! 

 

Why in the world did they put her in a room that connects to a staff member's?  Was the poor guy fired?  A staff member had a fling with an original Real World cast member and was fired.

 

Did Michelle really curl Elise's hair, just for her to go to bed?

 

Chris Harrison is so full of himself.  He reminds me of Julie Chen - thinking they're so much better than the fools signing up for this garbage, but just as complicit in this dreck as the cast.

[MrHufflepuff]

I get that Marquel might have had personal issues surrounding friends or family who drink too much, and that alcoholism is a serious issue, but..

 

 If people weren't drinking too much and making idiots of themselves, I wouldn't even watch this show.  Sorry, Marquel, I'm not on your side on this one.

[Wavesofblue]

There was that clip of Michelle M licking Bens's neck or face, so maybe there was more of a connection than we knew about.

[Wavesofblue]

It doesn't make sense to me that a show that is this low-budget would have an actual psychiatrist on ths staff.  I think the assistant mis-spoke. They might have a therapist or possibly psychologist.  But a psychiatrist is an MD who specializes in mental illness, and most don't even do a lot of therapy, they give medication, and work with therapists who do the actual therapy.

 

Second -  that letter?   OK, Ben dated a woman for a few weeks.  Probably after he had already  decided to do the show.  But a love letter FROM someone does not mean HE shares those strong feelings.  On a show where a bunch of guys are "dating"  a bunch of girls, and they switch partners over the course of the show, why is evidence that someone has dated outside the show a big deal?

And consider the possibility that Ben's three-week long "relationship"  had her feelings intensified BECAUSE he was going on the show.  The whole "Bachelor"  phenomenon  has showed us one thing -  nothing makes a man more attractive to a woman than other women wanting him.

[JudyObscure]

There was that clip of Michelle M licking Bens's neck or face, so maybe there was more of a connection than we knew about.

Hmmm, I missed that.  The way the editors mix-up the timeline, I'm wondering if maybe Marquel's drinking lecture might have come earlier than it appeared and Michelle had time to re-set her cap in Ben's direction.  Then, going by Paradise-time, she would have been madly in love with Ben by the time she heard he was in love with Letter Lady.

 

Proving I think about this show far too much:  I'm wondering if Marquel and Sarah couldn't be a match made in Paradise?  They both sort of stand apart from the crowd and make superior, "I wasn't raised that way," statements.  I can see Sarah in her one-piece and Marquel in his plaids enjoying time together. They might even find each other hilarious.

[ribboninthesky1]

And on a completely shallow note, I find Dylan far more attractive than Chris Burkowski. [...] I would thnk that refusing Elise's rose first is a good sign that he wouldn't be using Sarah, so Sarah could have offered it to him to find out if there really was anything between them.

 

Agreed on Dylan vs Chris B.  Sarah kept talking about how she and Elise were BFFs, so I assume that's why she didn't give Dylan the rose.  Chicks before Dicks? But yet, she went on a date with him? Mind you, I don't understand how they're BFFs when we saw Elise talking about Dylan to every woman except Sarah, even before the date.  Perhaps it was just editing.  Anyway, the other guy, who whined most of the episode about Lucy, was just happy to stick around.     

 

Proving I think about this show far too much:  I'm wondering if Marquel and Sarah couldn't be a match made in Paradise?  They both sort of stand apart from the crowd and make superior, "I wasn't raised that way," statements.  I can see Sarah in her one-piece and Marquel in his plaids enjoying time together. They might even find each other hilarious.

 

Hey, they can join together in their delusion that they're above all of the BS...while on TV, in a show that's basically about hooking up.  Are the contestants being paid? I assume their accommodations and necessities are covered, but I can't figure out why anyone would sign up? Maybe they thought the destination and accommodations would be luxe?

[Bellalisa]

Marquel is a waste of space and most likely gay in that he never makes a move on a woman. Anyway Marquel's big thing is getting off of drama with the other bros. This is his purpose I guess, calling people out for not being perfect. He is so boring! What has he said or done of interest on this show? He was so happy he found the letter! Drama is his thing.

[TheFinalRose]

Yeah, I'm thinking that Marquel is another addition to the Juan Pablo Less Is More Hall of Fame.

 

 

[MarkHB]

Other weird things about the whole expose: the young producer casually revealing that she was accompanying the show's psychologist to a visit with Daniella (patient confidentiality something else this show decided to abandon?) and then cracking up with laughter.

 

Given that the show provides the psychologist as a standard part of the thing (i.e., you get to see the shrink whether you feel you need to or not), and nothing was said about the contents of their conversation, I don't think confidentiality is really an issue in this particular case. Plus, as others have said, it's possible for a patient to waive confidentiality under various circumstances.  If you're on-field staff for a pro baseball team (MLB and its minor league affiliates), you have access to some of the best medical care in the world, all paid for by the team... but don't be surprised if the GM calls you up to ask what's going on after a visit to the doctor.

[chocolatine]

baseball

 

 

Oh no, you said that word! I get an allergic reaction when I hear it due to overexposure on Andi's season. ;)

[ramble]

I first read that paragraph the way I would have read a news article, internally saying things like "right, indeed, yes, I thought this as well". Then it occurred to me the words you had written and I reread it and I am so tickled I cannot stop laughing. What kind of fuckery are we watching where "gentleman in a birthing position" sounded normal at first read!

This entire series of posts made me laugh out loud so much that the dog got annoyed enough he moved away. No wonder this show is my new summer fave. It serves up big bowls of delicious reality trash & y'all post the yummy syrup of snark on top!

If people weren't drinking too much and making idiots of themselves, I wouldn't even watch this show. Sorry, Marquel, I'm not on your side on this one.

I completely agree! I don't watch this for educational purposes, but to be entertained & truthfully to feel better about myself. (Hey at least I'm not that desperate... yet.) That's probably why I rarely if ever feel sorry for these folks. I'm a bit of push over on real life when it comes to feeling sorry for someone but on reality tv? Forget it! You signed up & if you didn't read the micro fine print about being taped all the time & being edited however they choose then that's your own grown ass fault.

I found the reenactment of MichelleK & The Putz, which sounds like a junior high cover band, hilarious & didn't feel sorry for them at all. The same thing with Elise. She may have been edited crazy but she did all the talking. And talking, and talking. These folks have all played the game for at least one round before & if they didn't learn their lesson then more fun for me!

Edited August 13, 2014 by ramble

[MarkHB]

The best parts of the speech were the crazy circus music they played, and Sarah's TH saying "I don't think the speech really helped... <small voice>and no one really understood it.</small voice>"

[betha]

Also don't think Dylan was latching on or trying to use Sarah. He clearly was trying to stay with someone more stable than Elise, and he had a tiny history (date) with Sarah. I don't think that the typical shallow Bachelor/Bachelorette will easily overlook the missing hand, and her insecurities are far more unattractive than missing body parts, yet he was willing to give it a go. I would thnk that refusing Elise's rose first is a good sign that he wouldn't be using Sarah, so Sarah could have offered it to him to find out if there really was anything between them.

 

Agreed. I thought Dylan was being sincere in trying to get to know Sarah, and she seemed a little bit interested, but she must have been not enough interested to make it worth Elise's wrath. Also, I think Sarah is more attracted to people who are not attracted to her.

 

Did he do or say something in particular to make people think he was using her, or just a feeling he wasn't being genuine?

Edited August 13, 2014 by betha

[Adeejay]

Marcus spilling water on Ben’s bag and accidentally finding a love letter doesn’t pass the smell test.  It was way too convenient, especially since Ben wasn’t connecting with any of the ladies.  I can’t help but believe there is more to Marquel telling Michelle that she drinks too much.  Bachelor Nation is a small world.  Everyone seems to know everyone else and their reputations precede them.   For example, Graham is considered a nice guy and Chicago Chris a d-bag.  And while I don't agree with the way he did it, I have a feeling Marquel calling Michelle a lush, wasn’t as random as it seemed.

[jonaswan2]

Did he do or say something in particular to make people think he was using her, or just a feeling he wasn't being genuine?

I thought she didn't pick the dude because she didn't want to be in the middle of their drama. If she had the power to kick Elise out, I'm sure she would have used it. But that power wasn't in her control.

[Armchair Critic]

Before this season started they were showing previews with Marquel and they were playing Barry White. He is more of a fuddy dud than a ladies man (unless things really change in upcoming episodes?).

[ribboninthesky1]

Heh, I missed those previews. He may well be a sweet-talking ladies' man in another context, but not within this franchise. Ironically, he doesn't strike me as one who would be a Barry White fan. He may not even know who he is, ha.  

[Dittohead]

Who was the female that was shown in several promos being put in handcuffs?  Has that been explained yet?  Was it Michelle K? If so, why was she under arrest?

 

Secondly, were my eyes deceiving me or was there a very quick shot of two of the ladies kissing each other on the beach?  If that is the case, I am curious to know which two women they were.

[aenea]

Who was the female that was shown in several promos being put in handcuffs?  Has that been explained yet?

I'm pretty sure that was a guy, and I doubt if he was 'put' in handcuffs, as he seemed to have the key in one of his hands and was trying to open them.  I'd guess party trick rather than an arrest. 

 

Marquel, we wore those glasses in the late 70s because we had no other options, not by choice.  

 

I'd guess that his drinking comment to Michelle M. had to do with her over the top breakdown over Ben's not being there for 'the right reasons'.  I think that there was a lot cut out of the episode because they chose to focus on batshit crazy Elise, so in the final edit, Marquel's comment made no sense at all.  

 

And lady, if I could have gotten away from my 9 year olds for a month on a beach, I would have been on that like white on rice. If it bothers you that much, you could try to find love the old-fashioned way, instead of on TV.

[deSchenke]

Who was the female that was shown in several promos being put in handcuffs?  Has that been explained yet?  Was it Michelle K? If so, why was she under arrest?

 

Secondly, were my eyes deceiving me or was there a very quick shot of two of the ladies kissing each other on the beach?  If that is the case, I am curious to know which two women they were.

I'm sure it wasn't Michelle K.  What was she guilty of?  Screwing a Putz?

 

Knowing the editing monkeys who preside at the Bachelor franchise, the handcuffs will probably amount to nothing.  Maybe some sort of kinky game being played.

Edited August 14, 2014 by deSchenke