S11.E19: Over-Poured and Over-Board

[RealHousewife]

On a superficial note, I am not liking Erika's OTT makeup this season. Without the heavy makeup, she reminds me of little of Kate Winslet. 

[JD5166]

Andy is a fucking asshole. I am ashamed of myself for watching this...

[Julyolo]

I used to work in an ER where sometimes cops brought in patients, and when Erika snaps, she seems just like every psych patient that was also a polysubstance abuser. Not a pretty mess.

[njbchlover]

1 hour ago, Chicklet said:

We are seriously having to watch those two play pickleball? Not much going on here tonight.

Neither one of them has ever played pickleball before - they had no clue! 

I'm thinking that Erika really has no athletic ability whatsoever.  First, tennis and now, pickleball.  

[SassyCat]

40 minutes ago, Straycat80 said:

I feel sorry for this poor captain. 
well, the happy unicorn Erika didn’t last long

I blinked for a split second and missed the reason she suddenly flipped. What happened?

[BusyOctober]

Erika’s “look” at the outdoor dinner was a cross between a latex blow up doll, a Disney live action villain and Tammy Faye Bakker.  In other words, she looked as wretched on the outside as she is on the inside. Her lipstick is especially awful this season.  I am no “Influencer” nor do I do makeup tutorials on Tik-Tok, but is the over drawn, dark lipliner and non coordinating lighter lip color coming back??  That seems to be Erika’s go-to this season.  Her sunglasses on the yacht were ridiculous.  

Sure, Erika, sure…your lawyer called you “courageous “ because you expect to get nothing after “walking away” from your marriage.  You know why you expect to get nothing? Because you KNEW you and Tom were pissing through every fucking stolen dime, you psychopathic cunt.

Rinna, no one wants to do stuff with you because they are afraid you will be taking notes and filing away receipts to use against them later.  Or you will run and tell the other cows what was said.

Apparently all the wine poured for Dorit, Rinna and Kyle at the vineyards was actually Kool-Aid.  Their unwaiving, unquestioning lap dog behavior is  pathetic.

 Erika was thawing toward Sutton because after realizing she is flat broke, and Sutton had previously offered to float her some money when Erika first announced her divorce, she figured she had better try to pry that “closed door” open again.

Garcelle for the WIN!!! “Never have I ever stolen anything” OMG, I cackled so hard, my daughter thought I was choking.  Garcelle and Sutton are my imaginary BFF’s for the shade they are bringing this season.

Edited September 30, 2021 by BusyOctober

[Ms Blue Jay]

The Baboon's ass on Lisa Rinna's face just told me it's "Allllllllllll a true story" so you guys have to believe it.  

But seriously, Lisa got her lips done again right?  They are like half of her face.

Erika is angry at the people who have deserted Tom 😄😄😄😄😄

Edited September 30, 2021 by Ms Blue Jay

[njbchlover]

1 hour ago, eleanorofaquitaine said:

MALARKEY!

Real Housewives/Top Chef crossover. 

Yeah....but did he cook anything except for those appetizers we saw?  

1 hour ago, 65mickey said:

Oh now Erika is courageous according to her attorney. When are they going to canonize Erika Jayne? She tells the truth, she is caring and empathetic, wants to see people succeed and  doesn't want to see poor Tom suffer. We just need a miracle from her so she can become St. Erika. Maybe she can make the victim's money reappear. 

Erika told her lawyers she is "okay" if she walks away with nothing?   But yet, her attorneys are fighting for her to keep the $600,000.00 spousal thing from the sale of the house, and she doesn't want to relinquish any of her expensive art or jewelry to help the victims.  The attorneys would not be doing that unless she agreed to it.  

St. Erika, indeed!!!  She's such a martyr!   NOT!!!!!

[Ms Blue Jay]

Kyle is such a.......... NASTY PERSON I want to say another word but ugh!!!!!!  I don't like her changing me

[FlyingEgret]

I would love to know if the attorneys asked their "courageous" client how she expects to pay her legal bills if she walks away with nothing...

[njbchlover]

1 hour ago, Julyolo said:

Erika needs to hook up with the chef Brian Malarkey! She could be a bona fide Mrs. Malarkey!

Instead of just full of malarkey?  

Edited September 30, 2021 by njbchlover

[njbchlover]

1 hour ago, bosawks said:

How does Kathy think one actually turns fire off?

Well, in all fairness to Kathy - if it's a gas fireplace, it probably has a wall switch or remote control.  

I usually am the first one to call Kathy out on her ridiculous lack of common sense on how to do normal, every day things, but I'll give her a pass on this one.

[Ms Blue Jay]

So Erika is allowed to talk to Sutton but Sutton can't talk to her?  Preparing for prison I see?

When Erika said "I have to laugh or I will die" I thought, don't threaten us with a good time!

Back in the Sutton/Crystal days I used to defend Crystal so much but I have kept my mouth shut on her ever since.  WHAT A KISS ASS.  WHAT A DISAPPOINTMENT.

Edited:  Okay wait.  Her bathing suit body is perfect.

LOL, Kyle talking sense about the victims in a (cowardly) confessional?  Did Mauricio and PK sit her down and explain it to her with stick figure drawings?

Edited again:  Okay Crystal/Garcelle (Crystelle) was hot.

I love Elton John as much as anyone but why are all the women dressing like him this week?

Edited September 30, 2021 by Ms Blue Jay

[Pondlass1]

Kyle continues to earn her nickname … Vile Kyle.  Or is she simply stupid?

 

[WaltersHair]

You know, it's entirely possible Erika has convinced herself that she's innocent. That level of denial takes work. It's the only explanation I can think of in a situation where she's swilling champagne at a resort and crying about how awful her life is.

[Pattycake2]

29 minutes ago, njbchlover said:

Yeah....but did he cook anything except for those appetizers we saw?  

Erika told her lawyers she is "okay" if she walks away with nothing?   But yet, her attorneys are fighting for her to keep the $600,000.00 spousal thing from the sale of the house, and she doesn't want to relinquish any of her expensive art or jewelry to help the victims.  The attorneys would not be doing that unless she agreed to it.  

St. Erika, indeed!!!  She's such a martyr!   NOT!!!!!

Sure she wants it.  She signed away her rights to Tom’s estate after he dies a couple of years ago so she wants as much as she can get now.  We don’t want any of that money going to orphans do we?

[njbchlover]

Did anyone else have trouble understanding Crystal the few times she spoke?  I had to rewind and replay several times to understand her, and even then, I couldn't totally get her full sentence.  She seems to talk with marbles in her mouth, or mumbles a bit.  It happened during her pre-pool workout, talking with Rinna and another time prior to that - maybe at dinner the night before?  She doesn't project much with her voice.

And, totally agree with other posters - she is such a kiss-up!  I think Crystal is realizing that she hasn't really offered much this season and knows that right now, EJ is the "star" of the show, so she's kissing up to secure her spot for next season.  

[Lassus]

OH MY FUCKING GOD THE ASS-KISSING NEVER STOPS

[Ms Blue Jay]

Erika:  "I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't".  BULLSHIITTTTTTTTTTTTTT.  There are a lot of scenarios we'd be perfectly happy to see you in Erika!!!!!!

And Rinna saying Erika couldn't possibly express something sympathetic towards the victims. HAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH Shut the fuck up Rinna!  Nobody wants to hear from you.  

I swear I hate Lisa and Kyle so much and I just want to say that again.  Erika goes without saying, she is Satan.  

[Cosmocrush]

2 hours ago, Chicklet said:

I don't even drink and now I want some of that wine.

Impressive.  I'm not sure I could watch these HoWives without wine. 

[RealHousewife]

13 minutes ago, Lassus said:

OH MY FUCKING GOD THE ASS-KISSING NEVER STOPS

Sutton called it out her first season when they were supposed to say something honest . . .

[Ms Blue Jay]

Kathy is wearing a lampshade on her head in the preview.

[Ms Blue Jay]

1 hour ago, JD5166 said:

Andy is a fucking asshole. I am ashamed of myself for watching this...

[Shannah Banana]

That was shady as hell. Garcelle doing the 'never have I ever'  (stolen anything) game.  Daring and funny, but shady.  Garcelle don't give a shit, she's here for the right reasons.  Also funny was how everyone kinda looked Erika's way...I enjoy that kind of discomfort for these fake bitches, and she had a pained look.  Not pained enough, but I'll take what I can get.  Erika seemed to be spiraling out of control almost.  I think she's bonafide loon and the Lexapro aren't cutting it, and she shouldn't be drinking while taking them anyway. 

And if what Erika is giving me as far as who she really is, I'll take a big pass.  She is just too cool for my school, and she looks cheap and like a caricature.  That lip liner ain't helping.  It's probably that Rinna shit.  I liked her better when she was pat the puss, she had more class then.  Which I know makes no sense, but in some twisted way, it does.  At least then I didn't have the TMI about who she would strap one on for.  Gawd, would SHE SHUT UP!

[bencr]

1 hour ago, sistermagpie said:

There's Rinna offering an explanation for why Erika's never been sympathetic to the victims at all--because that's the one thing she can't do according to her lawyers, who Erika always listens to. Sure, that makes sense.

Meanwhile, her lawywer thinks she's, what was it? The most courageous thing he'd ever seen? Sure.

A bit chilling to everyone toasting to her "coming out on top" since that's basically rooting for her to get the money before those orphans and burn victims.

It's nice having Erika reveal herself to be faking it with Sutton and Sutton, proving her radar right again, saying that she doesn't buy it. 

This whole thing reminds me of the movie "Woman In Gold." In that movie a priceless artwork was plundered from a Jewish family by the Nazis, and it wound up in a museum in Austria. The museum fought against restitution of the artwork to the Jewish family. 

Apparently, in the Real Housewives version of this movie we're meant to side with the museum over the true victims. Erika's fight to retain this money is grotesque ... not her "coming out on top."

Edited September 30, 2021 by bencr

[nexxie]

I kept expecting ErICKa to ask Sutton for help paying her rent - she seemed to be working up to it.

[chlban]

Scooby and Scooby's friends😃😀  Sutton for the win. Does Erika is even hear herself with these stories and comments? The people Tom did things for need to step up now? You mean like the no talent wife he bankrolled so she could play dress up and strut around a stage half naked?  She says his family and friends need to help. Isn't your spouse considered family?

 

 

[nexxie]

It was shitty of Rinna to tell Crystal she was wearing a bathing suit when she wasn’t, especially knowing Crystal has issues showing her body - but Rinna is a totally shitty person, so no surprise there.

[Haute Messe]

2 hours ago, charliesan said:

Oh God, Kyle’s a cvunt, I’m sorry don’t block me but… she’s a cvnt, nothing else to say. 

Truer words have never before been spoken. 

2 hours ago, Chicklet said:

Wait a minute....Erika is broke and she brought her glam squad for her makeup?

And apparently she can also afford a facelift. 

This Erika ass kissing by the coven is beyond nauseating. 

That poor boat captain.

Sutton - don’t drink the koolade!!

[Ms Blue Jay]

1 minute ago, nexxie said:

It was shitty of Rinna to tell Crystal she was wearing a bathing suit when she wasn’t, especially knowing Crystal has issues showing her body - but Rinna is a totally shitty person, so no surprise there.

YUP

[65mickey]

46 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

Kathy is wearing a lampshade on her head in the preview.

And Rinna came as Cleopatra.

[RealHousewife]

20 minutes ago, nexxie said:

It was shitty of Rinna to tell Crystal she was wearing a bathing suit when she wasn’t, especially knowing Crystal has issues showing her body - but Rinna is a totally shitty person, so no surprise there.

Agree. Crystal is a pretty girl with has a gorgeous figure though. It's sad if she doesn't know that. 

[hoodooznoodooz]

I haven’t read this entire thread yet.

OMG. What would happen if Dorit had to wear an outfit that had not a single designer logo?

[Ms Blue Jay]

35 minutes ago, 65mickey said:

And Rinna came as Cleopatra.

Or Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction?

21 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

Agree. Crystal is a pretty girl with has a gorgeous figure though. It's sad if she doesn't know that. 

Gorgeous and sexy.  I just wish she didn't kiss the Coven's asses!

[Cheyanne11]

3 hours ago, sistermagpie said:

There's Rinna offering an explanation for why Erika's never been sympathetic to the victims at all--because that's the one thing she can't do according to her lawyers, who Erika always listens to. Sure, that makes sense.

Per Rinna, she can't be sympathetic because that will make her look guilty.  OK, crazy!

Erika literally made everything tonight about her and how brave and strong and funny she is.  OK, crazy part two.

Garcelle looked so pretty on the boat.  Bright colors look sensational on her. 

[hoodooznoodooz]

All of the housewives are finally responding appropriately to Erika. They’re laughing at her.

[Axie]

Try as I might, I still cannot stand Dorito.

[ivygirl]

“Exploding Cataracts” sounds like either a rockabilly band or a cocktail at a chain bar and grille.

[hoodooznoodooz]

Erika can nonchalantly tell everyone how her son said that he’s sick and tired of all her lies, it’s no big deal?

[hoodooznoodooz]

Kyle said Erika is so talented? What?

[hoodooznoodooz]

Oh, look. They adjusted Erika’s medication.

[UsernameFatigue]

5 hours ago, chick binewski said:

Erika Girardi: Profile in Courage 

That may be the best line of the entire season. Priceless! 

Why is supposedly broke Erika dragging hair and make up people with her on the trip? Malignant narcissist indeed.

WTF was up with Dorito's ear buns? The hairstyle looks ridiculous on children, and looked really, really ridiculous on Dorito. 

Sutton continues to be my fav howife, with Garcelle a close second. I laughed in the THs when the producer was asking the women their safe word, and Sutton said hers was "stop". Lol. I love Sutton. 

 

 

[ivygirl]

4 hours ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

So Erika is allowed to talk to Sutton but Sutton can't talk to her?  Preparing for prison I see?

When Erika said "I have to laugh or I will die" I thought, don't threaten us with a good time!

I loooooooovvveeee that you brought in that fantastic quote. Especially because Erika may only have a future in a reboot of Rock of Love after all this…

[hoodooznoodooz]

Erik- -t often gives off this really Old Lady vibe. 
I have nothing against old ladies.

Maybe she agreed to this Erika Jayne persona Mikey pushed because she realized how much she completely lacks sexuality and sensuality.

[RoseAllDay]

Has Crystal had one substantive storyline this season, other than cooking? She’s become more a “friend of” than a main cast member. If it’s anyone who seems to not be finding her place in the group, it’s her. 

I’m glad this season is slowly grinding to a halt. Utterly sick of the weekly soap opera, “The Perils Of Erika Jayne.”

[sheetmoss]

6 hours ago, BusyOctober said:

~

Sure, Erika, sure…your lawyer called you “courageous “

~

 

 

He probably said Courreges    😉

[Chatty Cake]

Sometimes I find Kathy amusing but last night with the S’s of wine I was thinking,  she’s (and the producers) overdoing it. 
I cannot stand the way Kyle kisses Erikas ass and goes out of her way to call attention to Sutton being uncomfortable. Dorit is a ridiculous kiss ass as well. Lisa R. who used to always stir the pot is pissing her pants in fear of Erika and going overboard to stay on her good side. Good for Garcelle for bringing up Denise.  Crystal is also scared to say anything so she sits there boring as can be.
Erika, ditched Tom but expects other people to come running to help him? 

Edited September 30, 2021 by Chatty Cake

[JenE4]

“Never have I ever stolen anything.”

[CainF]

This episode seems like a throwback to the good old (?) days of RHOBH.  The producers must have scrambled and put in some very late nights recently to get us back to the relative (ab)normal of this series, if in fact they have been paying attention to viewer disgust up to now.  It's something, but maybe more along the lines of too much, too little, too late.  I'm still on the fence of whether I want to keep watching next season.

We get to see Rinna literally eating like a bird with the string of pasta being sucked into her mouth.  We get to see Crystal having some fun (and girl, you look great in a swimsuit, and I try not to say anything about physical looks, but when there's beauty, why not...we all should get affirmation when we look good, at least sometimes...it's not PC but damn, when someone looks good, it's a nice thing to acknowledge it).  We get Kyle trying to stir the pot with noticing out loud that Sutton is saying nothing amid Erika's woe-is-me stories.  We get to see a tentative peace between Sutton and Erika, all but made null and void by their talking heads confessionals where each still clearly hates the other.  We get the baudy sex talk in the game of 'never did I ever,' which amounts to anal sex, sex in an airplane, sex with animals maybe was even in the mix (I tuned out...can Bravo please put the stake in the heart of these games and maybe replace with the ladies playing horseshoes or something?).

All in all, a return to form of some sort, which is good.  Rinna wins the night with her quip about how she could find her good light even in a coffin, and wow, again with the un-PC comments on beauty, but Rinna's got some amazing boobs.  Who knew? - not this gay guy for sure until the pool/yoga scenes.

[Cozytea]

I turned into Judge Judy when Erika said her Attorney said she was courageous.  Hearsay, hearsay!! Don't tell me what others say! And a giant eye roll  🙄.

I've never hated Kyle,  I mean she's annoyed me. But damn I was close last night. She was horrible to Sutton.