S12.E07: How Do You Know If You're In Love?

[Hangin Out]

12 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Disco was late 70s, and it might have an actual date of death:  July 12, 1979, at Comiskey Park.

John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever.  OMG, what a dancer !!!!!!!  Love him.  I don’t even understand the music now.

[Boo Boo]

23 minutes ago, Blissfool said:

I hated when she told him the cats were a non-negotiable and he'd have to take allergy meds from now on. He then said, "So I have to make allergy meds a part of my life now?" And she responded, "Well cats are a part of my life 🤷🏻‍♀️"

As a cat owner, I didn't hate it at all.  She didn't chose to be paired with someone allergic to her babies.  Seemingly this should be a question raised during the interviewing process by the experts.  It's a deal breaker to me to rehome my beloved pets, so if that were me, you'd be getting allergy meds.  Not to mention, he didn't seem to have any problem being in the house with them.  

Imagine rehoming animals because of someone the "experts" paired you up with?  No fucking way.

Edited February 26, 2021 by Boo Boo

[gonecrackers]

11 hours ago, princelina said:

I think what Virginia thinks of as rules and asking permission, he thinks of as courtesy amongst husband and wife. 

She may not like it & see it as control, now, but, he probably just gives a shit about her well being, which is something she can grow to appreciate. It's not a nice life when you don't have that with your significant other.

9 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

I get the sense that Brianna is the sort that says mean things but when she is called on it just says “I was just joking” or “I’m just honest”

The way it came out & not knowing him well wasn't really appropriate. People who are a bit full of themselves will do that to others they think are beneath them somehow. With Brianna, she's confident & that's great, but she wasn't reading the room there. I think he had a right to want to discuss it & she should've been listening, but, he overreacted in leaving. FWIW I think it's manufactured drama, though.

9 hours ago, Airy2021 said:

I was thinking about this too...like, if they matched me to someone who had cats I would be divorced instantly because of my allergies to them. Aren't they asking the couples these questions? Why is Eric complaining about his cat allergies? Why match him to someone with cats?!?

The 'experts' have a history of not caring about animals either. I say this because you don't match people with allergies (or fears) with people with pets, & you don't match people with animals with other people with animals who will be interacting - it's way too risky. If it goes wrong, everyone will suffer, including the pets. Of course that will again limit their pool to choose from, & take out another element of possible drama. So they don't care.

49 minutes ago, Crashcourse said:

Yes, I felt so sorry for Haley's little dog.  

And this is a perfect example - trying to put 3 dogs with one smaller breed dog was stupid on their part. All kinds of things can go wrong, & even be dangerous, for the little one. (Even though I love corgi's I have a toy breed so fuck this I understand). This isn't Haley or Jake's fault - he was trying & being very careful, but he may also lose seeing his dogs over this mess of a 'match'.  The 'experts' BS strikes again.

8 hours ago, nutella fitzgerald said:

Virginia isn’t ugly by any means, but the idea that no straight man can resist her is a little much. 

Most straight men cannot resist an easy fuck.

Whatever VA did in her past is over, but, 'crashing' on other men's couches, now, is disrespectful to her husband.

 

Jake looked willing to compromise, so much so that Cal talked him into leaving the 80's behind, begrudgingly; he looked quite deflated as he should, because that wasn't right. It's his thing & Cal knew that so Cal can stuff it. Jake won't have to worry, though, because these two are going nowhere fast.

With the right person I could see Jake compromising without having to lose what he enjoys. E.g. wear the muscle shirts at home or on errands, & dress more up-to-date while going out. Keep the neon in the basement man-cave, only. Listen to 80's music but also what she likes, etc. etc. It's not that difficult & he seems like he wants to be married enough to do some give & take.

With regard to the couples talking, we don't see much. They only give us a very tiny bit of a ton of interactions that are being filmed. What they do give us is purposely chosen to skew public opinions, for the sake of the Show, & to give us stuff to talk about. 😉

 

[Elizzikra]

Quote

Chris has the emotional maturity of a 15 year old.  He couldn't keep that goofy grin off his face when he showed up while Pastor Cal was talking to Paige. I can't figure out what his end game is.  To get 2 women pregnant?  To keep stringing Paige along because he knows she'll stick by him if he just throws her a few crumbs now and then? So he can keep having sex with her and have his self image as a powerful man reinforced? 

Chris is a playa. His end game is to have every woman he encounters want to have sex with him. I wish someone would have just said it point blank during the meeting with Pastor Cal - Chris and Paige had sex on the honeymoon because Chris was horny and Paige was there. He wants Paige to want him, even though he doesn't like her and doesn't think she is sufficiently physically attractive to be with him because Chris wants everyone to want him. He's a manipulator. 

Quote

Seems like none of these girls on these shows use birth control.  They just get an abortion.  Like it’s nothing probably.  

Wow. That's a big leap. First, the only other couple I remember having a birth control conversation onscreen was Keith and Kristine. Perhaps there were others but I don't have the sense at all that none of the couples use birth control. In fact, we know that Gregg and Deonna did because they talked about her being on the pill. Second - if we're going to talk about the women using birth control, let's also talk about the men. The show provides them with condoms. Birth control is the responsibility of BOTH parties, not just the woman. 

Finally - it's a huge leap from women not using birth control to "they'll have an abortion and act like it's the same as snipping a hangnail."  Sure - you'd hope that people who aren't ready for children aren't having unprotected sex but plenty do and when some of them inevitably become pregnant, they don't all line up for abortions. Those that do choose abortion don't blow it off like it was nothing.

Quote

Nice!  Guess she doesn’t care about her liver.  Probably doesn’t want kids either.  

She said a couple of times that she wants kids but not for a few years. Thank God - because she is nowhere near ready.

[Dena0033]

15 hours ago, sara416 said:

I cannot take credit for this. Sarah D. Bunting of this very website used to say it about Brandon Walsh in the Again With This podcast all the time. I've picked it up in my vernacular and I love it. 

LOOOOOVE this podcast. Probably my favorite of all time. 

[Starlight925]

Because Chris is a narcissist.

The answer to "why" he does all this.  

Triangulation.  Keeping both women on strings.  Telling Paige he's in love with his ex, but whispering to Paige that he could fall in love with her.  He knows that Paige's reaction will be:  giggly smiles, not F-you like we all want.  He also knows his ex's reactions, so he gets this joy of having both women mentally fight for him.

He doesn't care how he comes off, as long as the attention is on him.

Narcissists need attention, even if it's for horrible, negative things.  The important thing is the attention.

He showed up late to the meeting with Pastor Cal, even knowing he'd be on camera, showing up late.  Because it garnered more attention for him.  He caused Paige & Pastor Cal to have to stop what they were talking about and turn their focus to him.

He walked in with, and kept, a smug smile the entire time.  Never showed one bit of remorse to Paige.

Narcissist, Narcissist, Narcissist.

Chris is among the worst matches ever to have appeared on this show (I give that Ryan guy, the one who physically threatened his wife from an earlier season, the #1 spot).

 

[Hangin Out]

18 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

Jake called her out.  Busted.  No one ever spoke to her that way apparently.

Nobody can fool Jake.  He’s not stupid.  When they entered their apartment, he told her very plainly what she did.  Not rude, just the facts.  She twists it around and plays the smart ass way to make her look right.  I’ve never heard her say one nice thing to him.  Everything is about her.  You can say things about Jake, but she has an attitude problem and thinks she’s the cats meow.  If he wants to wear his 80’s stuff, that’s his business.  It’s his life, not hers.  Like someone said, she has that stick up her ass.  Very rigid.  It’s her way or the highway.  I’m actually surprised he’s staying with her.

[gonecrackers]

16 minutes ago, Starlight925 said:

Narcissists need attention, even if it's for horrible, negative things.  The important thing is the attention.

However, they usually like to look like they're Awesome to the world, while abusing those closest to them, so no one around suspects who they really are... 

I believe Chris is a hired fake & so is Paige; they were laughing through the whispering - all the way to the bank.

Edited February 26, 2021 by gonecrackers

[Starlight925]

6 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

However, they usually like to look like they're Awesome to the world, while abusing those closest to them, so no one around suspects who they really are... 

I believe Chris is a hired fake & so is Paige; they were laughing through the whispering - all the way to the bank.

From Psych Central:

"Seeking attention Just like a two-year-old, some narcissists have learned that if they cant get positive attention, negative will do just fine. Narcissists crave daily doses of attention, affirmation, affection, and admiration. When they don't get it, they react aggressively."

Narcissists need narcissistic "supply".   That supply can come in any form, as long as it's directed at them.

I'm not a therapist, but I've been in mucho mucho therapy regarding narcissists in my life, and I can spot 'em a mile away.

I don't believe they're hired fakes, but I do believe that Chris, with of course microphone off, encourages Paige to stay so they can collect their $.  

 

[Stinamaia]

13 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

I was 23 in 1980, and remember the 80s well.  AIDS and crack come to mind.  And those godawful brides with frizzy hair and lacy headbands.  And those sleeves!

Don’t forget rocketing gas prices and inflation.  
Jake has created a fantasy 80s world where everything was cheery and safe. He has made himself chief curator and expert of that world, and actually believes it makes him cool. He needs some therapy to examine why he feels he needs this world and what giving it up would mean. 
Jake is a project for a woman and only a woman who feels warmly affectionate toward him would take it on.  Haley is not the woman to take it on.  She can barely say she doesn’t like it or him.
Neither seems like a bad person, but they don’t mesh for a variety of reasons. I would never date someone like Jake. I probably wouldn’t be friends with Haley.  I’d be cordial with both and enjoy both in small doses. 

[JapMo]

Here's a question I've been asking myself and I'd like to hear what everyone else thinks:

What would Virginia's reaction have been if she'd been paired with Jacob instead of Eric?

After lengthy thought, I maintain she would be OK with it...at least through the ceremony and wedding night.  Erik's cuter, has a better personality, and is really into her, but I still believe Virginia would been just as flirtatious and handsy with Jacob.  She definitely would have liked his body, and probably wouldn't have batted an eye at his constant talk about the 80s.  I do believe she would have been able to draw him out a lot more and get him to do things he wouldn't normally do just because of how big her personality is.  That being said, Jacob would have noticed her drinking right away.  He wouldn't have been as enamored with her youth as Erik is.  By this time there would definitely be problems but I believe he'd still be happy with her.

I guess my point is I don't believe Virginia really knows what kind of guy would be good for her.  

[Baltimore Betty]

1 hour ago, Silver Bells said:

John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever.  OMG, what a dancer !!!!!!!  Love him.  I don’t even understand the music now.

When I was younger there was a place with a lit dance floor, I would have my fake ID, my Danskin unitard and matching skirt and dance the night away!

[Ilovepie]

25 minutes ago, Stinamaia said:

Jake has created a fantasy 80s world where everything was cheery and safe.

I'm guessing Jake's love of the 80's came from what he has seen in movies as he is too young to have experienced it himself! If he is 38, he was born in 1982 - he would have only been 7 or eight when the decade ended!

I love fashion and movies from old eras that I wasn't alive in, like the 1930's and 1940's. Do I know that there was a depression and a war? Of course, but I am still fascinated by the fashion, music and glamour side of it. Jake is doing the same with the 1980's. The difference is I haven't made my entire life revolve around it. I graduated from HS in 1990, so my teen years were spent in the late 80's. Like the good Gen Xer I am, I of course have some nostalgia for the stuff I grew up with. If Jake was doing the same, he would more likely be fixated on the 1990's since that is the decade he was a teen, not the 1980's, so this whole thing is kind of bizarre to me. Unlike Bennett and Amelia whose whole life revolves around being quirky weirdos, Jake is fairly normal except for this one thing!

[Empress1]

1 hour ago, gonecrackers said:

The 'experts' have a history of not caring about animals either. I say this because you don't match people with allergies (or fears) with people with pets, & you don't match people with animals with other people with animals who will be interacting - it's way too risky. If it goes wrong, everyone will suffer, including the pets. Of course that will again limit their pool to choose from, & take out another element of possible drama. So they don't care.

I'm reminded of Miami Sonia and Nick. Sonia was afraid of dogs (she had either been mauled or seen someone mauled by them as a child), and Nick had two. And Sonia actually did work to get acclimated to them - they hired a trainer and she was working with him, asking questions, etc., and the dogs seemed to like her. But I thought was unfair of them to put her in that position. 

32 minutes ago, JapMo said:

I guess my point is I don't believe Virginia really knows what kind of guy would be good for her.  

I bet she doesn't because she's been single her whole adult life. Both she and Hailey have been single since they were 21, if I'm remembering right. (Hailey is 28 and said she's been single for seven years, and Virginia is 26 and she said she's been single and promiscuous - her word - for five years.) I think Virginia said she was in a sorority; that life is pretty different from trying to find an adult relationship. I doubt Hailey knows what kind of guy she wants either, given that she said she rejects men for superficial reasons, which is likely why she's been single so long.

1 hour ago, Elizzikra said:

She said a couple of times that she wants kids but not for a few years. Thank God - because she is nowhere near ready.

At all. She's not ready to be married either; she's not even really ready for a serious relationship. If she's tired of being single (which I think is the reason she gave for wanting to do this), she's at the point where she should start dating with more intention.

1 hour ago, Boo Boo said:

As a cat owner, I didn't hate it at all.  She didn't chose to be paired with someone allergic to her babies.

Yeah, I hate cats and I thought this was a fair exchange on both parts. It's not fair to ask her to get rid of her cats, and it's also reasonable for him to be like "Claritin every day? Huh" (and to be fair, he didn't seem to mind). I hate cats so I don't date men who have them because we're incompatible. It's not reasonable for me to ask him to give up his cats, and it's not reasonable for me to live with an animal I know I don't want to and would not enjoy living with, so I put "I don't like cats" in my dating profiles and swipe left on men who say they have them. My brother is allergic to cats AND doesn't like them, so women with cats are a non-starter for him. Pets are a deal-breaker both ways and for a lot of reasons, for a lot of people.

I think this is the most animals in a season of this show.

Edited February 26, 2021 by Empress1

[gonecrackers]

1 hour ago, Starlight925 said:

From Psych Central:

"Seeking attention Just like a two-year-old, some narcissists have learned that if they cant get positive attention, negative will do just fine. Narcissists crave daily doses of attention, affirmation, affection, and admiration. When they don't get it, they react aggressively."

Narcissists need narcissistic "supply".   That supply can come in any form, as long as it's directed at them.

I'm not a therapist, but I've been in mucho mucho therapy regarding narcissists in my life, and I can spot 'em a mile away.

I don't believe they're hired fakes, but I do believe that Chris, with of course microphone off, encourages Paige to stay so they can collect their $.  

 

Gotcha, thanks. I also have a lot of experience, unfortunately; lifelong & ongoing. My narcs have - for the most part - enjoyed acting like pillars of the world to most others (or the covert, always the victim types), so that's where I went with it.

I still think they're both hired but that's JMO.

Edited February 26, 2021 by gonecrackers

[pdlinda]

14 hours ago, NowVoyager said:

The look on PO$'s face when he whispered: "My biggest fear is falling in love with you." 🤢🤢🤢 And saw Paige just eating it up was nothing less than sinister. I wanted to break something.

AND they said that next week she AGREES to participate in a meeting with him and the "ex-fiance"....honestly, is this complicity in her own  emotional trauma scripted?  her own idea?  something she believes will benefit her in some way???  

This show will be archived into eternity on the internet.  Someone as obviously talented, professional, upstanding and successful as Paige is possibly didn't think through the ramifications of her decisions to basically disrespect herself with her undignified behavior on this show.

[Adeejay]

5 hours ago, Boo Boo said:

I graduated high school in 1985.  I lived through the 80s as a teen.  For the life of me, I can't think of one thing that makes me feel nostalgic at all about that era.  So it's really odd to me that Jacob does. 

In New York City, the 80s was the height of the AIDS and crack epidemics. That was a really bad time.  Perhaps where Jake lived it was different.  

[Ilovepie]

1 hour ago, Adeejay said:

In New York City, the 80s was the height of the AIDS and crack epidemics. That was a really bad time.  Perhaps where Jake lived it was different.  

Jake was only like 8 when the decade ended so I doubt AIDS and crack would have figured into his psyche even if he did live in New York.....

[Starlight925]

2 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

Gotcha, thanks. I also have a lot of experience, unfortunately; lifelong & ongoing. My narcs have - for the most part - enjoyed acting like pillars of the world to most others (or the covert, always the victim types), so that's where I went with it.

I still think they're both hired but that's JMO.

Oh, I do agree with you that they could both be hired.  I just hate to think that....I mean, if that's the case, then we are really being duped even more so than we thought!  

And yes, my narcs, too, have enjoyed being "pillars of the world".  Uck.  Until I dated one guy who seemed to "enjoy" the drama he created when he'd "secretly" text an ex, and I'd get pissed off, and then she'd get pissed off because he was lying to her about me, so he had two females constantly screaming at him.  That was when I learned of the surprising "even negative attention is desired", because, in a case like Chris, that negative attention is still pointed at him.

There's a guy who's done a ton of Narcissistic personality videos; he himself is a diagnosed narcissist.  He calls it Narcissistic Fuel.  And he says that anything pointed in a narcissist's direction is "fuel", whether positive or negative.  That's when the light bulb went on for me.

Re:  The pet thing.  I do not understand how this isn't screened more thoroughly.  Jake's one dog clearly does not like new dogs; in fact, this could turn bloody and/or deadly.  Seriously?  They didn't screen for this?

I'm highly allergic to cats, so I can't even visit someone with a cat.  That would be a non-starter for me.  Perhaps Eric was more "okie dokie about cats" on his profile, but he had to know it would be a lifetime of allergy meds.  He's going to be cleaning out litter boxes while his wife "passes out" on her male friends' couches.

Edited February 26, 2021 by Starlight925

[evansmom10]

On 2/24/2021 at 11:40 PM, geej said:

I agree Vincent is a poor communicator, but from the second he spilled the bubbly, she sounded to me like her teasing got a bit mean and Vinc couldn't explain it.. She is bossy as hell.

I AGREE, I don't get why people don't see how low key cutting this was (or could have been perceived).  That's so xxxx of you, when I did something clumsy or stupid would make me feel like you see me as clumsy/stupid. 

[Crashcourse]

5 minutes ago, evansmom10 said:

I AGREE, I don't get why people don't see how low key cutting this was (or could have been perceived).  That's so xxxx of you, when I did something clumsy or stupid would make me feel like you see me as clumsy/stupid. 

Depending on the situation, maybe I could roll with it and laugh at being seen as clumsy, but HELL NO to being thought of as stupid. 

[Starlight925]

17 minutes ago, evansmom10 said:

I AGREE, I don't get why people don't see how low key cutting this was (or could have been perceived).  That's so xxxx of you, when I did something clumsy or stupid would make me feel like you see me as clumsy/stupid. 

Exactly.

It's the type of thing a person says when they take a little snipe at you, and then say you're too sensitive.

No, M-F'er, I don't like it when people snipe at me.  

Briana has way too many rules, too many little things where Vincent will live his life on eggshells.  Add in the fact that he can't seem to do anything right by her, but to her, it's just a joke.  Ha.  Ha.  

[Crashcourse]

I do think Brianna's into Vincent enough that she'll curb her bossiness and sniping.  I also hope Vincent doesn't shut down and walk away when they have issues, and they can have an honest discussion about...whatever.

[Devvie]

1989 precursor to "When Erik met Virginia"  

“Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.

Chris and Paige... So I was remembering today an interview I heard many years ago. This guy who fancied himself a real "Ladies Man" (but in fact was a predator) was being honest about his "technique" for finding victims. He said he had a system for figuring out how to pick a woman who he could abuse.  He would go into a bar, find a woman, and tell her (not ask) "buy me a drink".  The women who would buy him a drink (and turn a blind eye to his rude and demanding behavior) became his next victims.  There will always be a Chris who is looking for a Paige. The Paiges of the world don't realize that good men, successful men, etc. like self confident women who won't take their shit. 

Love the comment above that Haley and Henry are a match!  Wouldn't that be great. Make it happen!

 

 

 

 

 

[LuvMyShows]

47 minutes ago, Devvie said:

Chris and Paige... So I was remembering today an interview I heard many years ago. This guy who fancied himself a real "Ladies Man" (but in fact was a predator) was being honest about his "technique" for finding victims. He said he had a system for figuring out how to pick a woman who he could abuse.  He would go into a bar, find a woman, and tell her (not ask) "buy me a drink".  The women who would buy him a drink (and turn a blind eye to his rude and demanding behavior) became his next victims. 

Very, very interesting.

[LakeGal]

Jacob loves the 80s.  That is his hobby or interest.  

Haley loves to collect Bridesmaid dresses.  She must have a lot of them by now.  I think her closet could be as strange looking as Jacob's.

[Alexander Pope]

On 2/24/2021 at 6:20 PM, Soup333 said:

You know what trips me out about that? Other than it being dumb as hell. But why would Chris have unprotected sex with her knowing he’s not attracted to her and could potentially create another life with this woman he doesn’t even like. Wild. 

I think Chris gets off on spreading his seed and replicating himself. He said in one of his very first interviews that he wanted a honeymoon baby.  Has nothing to do with the container of the seed (his view of women). He is clearly a manipulator of the first order who also enjoys women fighting over him.  He was smiling through the whole conversation with Pastor Cal.

Edited February 26, 2021 by Alexander Pope
edited upon further thought

[Empress1]

31 minutes ago, Alexander Pope said:

I think Chris gets off on spreading his seed and replicating himself. He said in one of his very first interviews that he wanted a honeymoon baby.  Has nothing to do with the container of the seed (his view of women). He is clearly a manipulator of the first order who also enjoys women fighting over him.  He was smiling through the whole conversation with Pastor Cal.

I think he also said he wanted like 7 kids.

[Hangin Out]

20 hours ago, candall said:

I have many strong opinions on the fuckery in this episode, but the only expertise I have to offer is that you don't just casually toss a little muffin dog into the household of an established pack of three.  If Jake's one aggressive dog had managed to get to Haley's dog and attacked her, the other two would have joined in tearing the little visitor dog apart.   That's not a clip you'd want to be showing, MAFS. 

Do better, pet people.

 

Where do you put four dogs in an apartment when you both go to work?  Lock each in a separate room?  The thought makes me sick.  Cruel.

[Hangin Out]

6 hours ago, MyTwoCents said:

Yes! Chris and his caveman brow and soulless eyes. He’s so grotesque and sleazy. He looks like a devil.

WOLF MAN.

[Nancybeth]

Jake was 8 when the 80s ended...it's not like he remembers that time fondly or had any real idea of the references then. He has decided, for whatever reason, that he likes the 80s aesthetic...the fashion, the furniture, the music and movies. He's decided that 80s guy is a personality and, like...obsession does not a personality make. He's become a caricature. 

I was totally lost on he and Haley's fight(s) this week though. Like he had one story about one incident and hers was something completely different and I had no idea what was happening. 

[Alexander Pope]

9 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

I gave away my Birkenstock’s long ago.  I thought I was in Holland wearing wooden shoes.  Now it’s Sketchers, in every color.  No more designer bags too.  Coach, etc.  I do love my Dooney & Burke “Haunted Mansion” one tho.  That’s a keeper.  Now it’s Vera Bradley light weight crossbodies.  Comfort when you’re old, not style.  Just sharing, lol.  Old lady talk. 😀

 

 

 

 

Birkenstocks are high fashion now! I am serious!https://www.intermixonline.com/isabel-marant/lennyo-leather-slide-sandals/21PSD0462-21P038S.html?adpos=&googleshopping=us&scid=scplp6006730413_36&sc_intid=6006730413_36&utm_source=google&utm_medium=paid-shopping&utm_content=remarketing&utm_campaign=SC Shopping - [Acquisition] Designer&gclid=CjwKCAiA1eKBBhBZEiwAX3gql7a2CIALPFvANrTqGuo8ZomM6ULnFIPz1c15hY__s2S7fkF_YJ301xoCfygQAvD_BwE

 

Edited February 27, 2021 by Alexander Pope
edited for evidence

[Linarina]

On 2/24/2021 at 9:07 PM, LennieBriscoe said:

Chris "wouldn't allow filming"? They "turned off their microphones"? I hope the show deducted some of their paychecks!

Yeah, that was interesting because in the past when people haven't wanted to be filmed, they included that footage for the drama factor.  Brandon for example.  Why does Chris get to call the shots?

[Linarina]

On 2/25/2021 at 12:50 AM, Chalby said:

Am I the only one yelling at my television that Jacob is lucky to have any person matched with him? Or that he is a loser who only feels good about himself if he insults and manipulates his partner by putting them down or attaching ridiculous labels to his misperception of their behaviour. He hasn't got the first clue of how to function in a give-and-take relationship. What on earth did Hailey do to be matched with such a creep? What a goof.

Wow, no, I don't get that at all.  I think he's possibly the most mature, best male communicator this show has ever had.

[Linarina]

On 2/25/2021 at 2:40 AM, geej said:

I agree Vincent is a poor communicator, but from the second he spilled the bubbly, she sounded to me like her teasing got a bit mean and Vinc couldn't explain it.. She is bossy as hell.

YES.  Yes, yes, yes.  I'm surprised by all the comments siding with Brianna. 

First of all, get your hands off other adults' stuff.  You rearranging his stuff in his suitcase because of your OCD is NOT okay.  Get yourself some anti-anxiety medication because that right there was just crossing alllll kinds of boundaries.

Second, I agree with Geej above that she had an edge in her voice from the moment it spilled (see: anxiety).  She critiqued his clean-up method, implying any functioning adult would use spray (omg, honey, STOP).  He was *gracious* enough to let that slide, and then SHE had the audacity to come at him with the snide "joke"?  

Here's my hypothesis. I don't doubt that she didn't intend to disrespect him and doesn't view him as incompetent. However, her anxiety takes over and, in her nervous haze, she blurts things out without thinking.  I know I do that when I'm nervous.  I barely know what I'm saying sometimes, if I have a spotlight on me. I think that's what happened here -- it was a throwaway line, a flustered attempt at a joke. 

Vincent is an AWFUL communicator (he's no Jakey! 😁), but I hope she will reflect on why her knee-jerk subconscious response is to cut others down. 

Edited February 27, 2021 by Linarina

[LennieBriscoe]

What does Haley like? What are her hobbies, activities, etc.? I'm genuinely asking, because, though I have watched every episode, I might have missed something by posting simultaneously. 

Corollary: How did Jake respond/react?

Edited February 27, 2021 by LennieBriscoe

[Kira53]

On 2/24/2021 at 10:05 PM, spunky said:

Vincent needs to improve his communication skills.  Brianna was joking,  she was not trying to be mean. 

But she was mean.  She needs to be more self-aware. She only knows Vincent 7 to 10 days she shouldn't be teasing him like that so raven. And I never even saw the show but I don't like the idea of someone saying something negative is sound like them. It's a very straight forward put down and not easily disguised.

On 2/25/2021 at 8:54 AM, Baltimore Betty said:

Ryan's randomness of mugs and hodge podge food storage would have made me think twice, seeing his messy drawers...on the surface everything is neat and clean but underneath it all he is messy, very psychotic.

Psychotic?  Please Google "psychotic". Ryan is extremely stable.  Messy does not equal psychotic.

On 2/25/2021 at 11:52 AM, LakeGal said:

I was so disappointed we did not get to see Haley's reaction to Jacob's beach yard.  Maybe it was because they were at his house in the evening and it was too dark to be wandering around in the sand.  But I was really waiting for that to be shown.

Ryan seems a bit of a control freak with Clara.  She wants sex.  Ryan is holding back waiting for love.  But I think he expects to hear bells or some sign to tell him he is in love.   

Not seeing control freak.  They agreed to keep their sex life private. My belief is that they have had sex and they liked it. Ryan is a lot more private than is Clara naturally. But she's agreed to not talk about the sex life, so I think this is how they play the game since they will endless be asked be if they have had sex. I respect pretending because I wouldn't want to be on TV talking to everybody about how I just had sex with a stranger.  I suppose exposing my sex life on TV would be especially anathema to me if my parents were pastors and highly religious.

[Linarina]

On 2/25/2021 at 1:20 PM, DrewPaul2010 said:

Its hard not to feel sorry for Paige kind of like you feel sorry for a drug addict or an alcoholic. You feel compassion but you also know its there volitional choice to be such a way. This is way beyond being a good wife, taking the commits seriously. Love can be unconditional but relationships, especially romances are conditional. Chris is a predator but he can only use willing victims. I wonder if she has been this vulnerable to other guys or is she just blinded by his handsome looks? Her kind of love and devotion should be showered on a worth man. Not this scum bucket. What irked me most was his smirking while Pastor Cal was dressing him down. Not only the smirk but still playing the victim card. He still thinks folks should be sympathetic towards him! Woe is me I got married and find out my ex fiance is pregnant because I screwed her while I was in the process of being married at first sight. I wanted to reach through the screen and slap his smirking face soooo bad. Chris find a new victim.

 

Say what now? 🤔 😄 I think he looks like a constipated caveman with allergies. 

But I agree with the rest, particularly about his smirk.  Did you catch his smirky-jerky smile when Paige said she felt she got the short end of the stick?  He was obviously thinking, "Nuh-uh, I'm the good-looking one" -- which is in his head, imo, but he was actually feeling sorry for himself!  Narcissists gonna narce.

Edited February 27, 2021 by Linarina

[Hangin Out]

On 2/25/2021 at 7:37 PM, Crashcourse said:

Yes, yes, yes to all of this. 

Looking back, Jake began to lose me when he was in bed, shirtless, on their wedding night.  I think he wanted Haley and us to see his ooooh so magnificent chest 🙄, and what a great body he thinks he has (thanks to steak and eggs).  It certainly didn't work for me.  

Yeah, bare chests don’t phase me at all.  Neither do guy strippers either, but a man dressed in a good suit, tie, cologne and nice watch will.
 

 

[princelina]

6 hours ago, evansmom10 said:

I AGREE, I don't get why people don't see how low key cutting this was (or could have been perceived).  That's so xxxx of you, when I did something clumsy or stupid would make me feel like you see me as clumsy/stupid. 

 

6 hours ago, Crashcourse said:

I do think Brianna's into Vincent enough that she'll curb her bossiness and sniping.  I also hope Vincent doesn't shut down and walk away when they have issues, and they can have an honest discussion about...whatever.

I didn't think anything of it until he got upset - but I come from a family where we all make fun of each other and think we're hilarious 😄. Mr P comes from a much more sensitive family, where someone's always not talking to another one over something stupid - when we got married I had to learn to temper myself, speak softer and make an effort to be kind.  He had to learn to lighten up and not take everything to heart.  And we're good - I hope Brianna and Vincent can realize that about each other and get over it too!

[Hangin Out]

44 minutes ago, LennieBriscoe said:

What does Haley like? What are her hobbies, activities, etc.? I'm genuinely asking, because, though I have watched every episode, I might have missed something by posting simultaneously. 

Corollary: How did Jake respond/react?

All I got from her was she likes hanging with her girlfriends.  

[Chelsea]

On 2/24/2021 at 7:32 PM, Yeah No said:

I'm with you on Jake.  Haley comes off like a snot but in NO WAY did she deserve the ugliness Jake unloaded on her.  She's just not feeling it with him.  In fact, he repulses her - I can feel it.  I don't know why that makes her a horrible person.  If he was a decent guy he wouldn't have laced into her like that so soon with baseless accusations.   I am frankly shocked that he got so ugly so fast with her (which he realized was ass-like and apologized for except now he's legit scared her away).  She was straight up honest with him that she wasn't feeling it with him and he got really mean and spiteful about it.  What is she supposed to do?  Fake it with him?  I think she's being more honest with him than most of the fakers on this show.  If he was half a man and secure in himself he would just let her have her space and try to put the emphasis on getting to know her so that maybe she might find something to like about him.  Instead he gets offended and ugly.  To a woman my age this looks very childish and immature and NOT like the reaction of an adult man.

Also I don't think it's fair to judge her based on appearances.  She strikes me as a non-emotional woman and I know some people find great offense at that and call such women snots and stuck up when it's really just that they don't show their emotions.  It doesn't mean they're being ingenuine.  Trust me when I say that I know from snotty women and she is nothing compared to the snots I've known.  In many ways she reminds me of Jessica from a few seasons ago.  The only difference is that she's not digging the guy they matched her with.  So sue her.  He could have given her the benefit of the doubt but no he just laces into her and accuses her of having a boyfriend like a scary abusive type.  I'm beginning to see why he's single.  She may just have a hard time warming up to guys but he pretty much sealed the deal by burning his bridges with her and accusing her of all sorts of things so soon with absolutely NO evidence.  So pretty much after this her avoiding him is HIS fault.  HE could have been secure enough to give her space to see if maybe her feelings might change but instead he just showed himself to be an immature ass.  He only knows this woman a few days and already he's acting like the lover who has been done wrong 20 times.  It's pathetic.

Finally someone said what I was thinking!!!

[Hangin Out]

3 hours ago, Nancybeth said:

Jake was 8 when the 80s ended...it's not like he remembers that time fondly or had any real idea of the references then. He has decided, for whatever reason, that he likes the 80s aesthetic...the fashion, the furniture, the music and movies. He's decided that 80s guy is a personality and, like...obsession does not a personality make. He's become a caricature. 

I was totally lost on he and Haley's fight(s) this week though. Like he had one story about one incident and hers was something completely different and I had no idea what was happening. 

Jake was telling her exactly why he was insulted when she didn’t call him downstairs to join all of them.  She was saying it was no big deal to have drinks with the girlfriends.  Then he said more or less it’s “Hailys World”, meaning everything is about her.  That’s what I got out of it anyhow.  She just doesn’t like him from the start.  I don’t get why he’s even still trying.  I think she’s extremely fussy and didn’t belong on this kind of show.  She cringes when with him and looks like she’s in pain.  Actually, they were both ranking on each other’s faults.  Oh, and he called her a liar.  That really flipped her out.  Knocking everything they hated about each other.   Everyone is seeing different.  Two sides to every story.

Edited February 27, 2021 by Silver Bells

[humbleopinion]

Jake got the impression things were going swimmingly since they got along and had sex but post coitus Haley has been distant.

Haley tried to not be picky but she sees no future with Jake after giving it the old college try for a week.

The last night in LV was a disaster and blew up once they arrived to Highland Walk.

Jake’s anger and hurt caused him to make a baseless accusation of Haley having a bf.

This is just the first of the blow outs these two stemming from Haley’s rejection of Jake as a keeper.

Haley will continue with the show but there is no hope for the marriage.

The dog situation will make it convenient for Jake to spend the time not filming to be back at his house where his dogs have more space to roam and play.

 

Edited February 27, 2021 by humbleopinion

[Hangin Out]

I don’t get why some are making a big deal about Jake and the 80’s.  So what?  Everything comes round circle eventually.  Women’s clothes and shoes, furniture, houses, everything.  Someday, he will be all set.  People are buying old stuff on E bay like crazy.

[ava111]

On 2/25/2021 at 9:43 PM, LuvMyShows said:

 

Binginia - who is taking care of her dog and cats while she spends her every Thursday, Friday and Saturday binging and sleeping on friends couches? I remember her friend mentioned that her dog is just like her and has abandonment issues. No wonder why. It gets abandoned every Thursday. And the fact that she is always late for work means that she also gets drunk on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday but does it in privacy of her own house instead bars or clubs. I'm surprised they didn't get rid of her yet. She should seek therapy if she can't imagine going without alcohol for more than few hours. It's obvious she is self medicating. She only lives to party and drink. What kind of life is that??? And why would you want a husband? Just to have someone to hold your hair while puking in the toilet? Or maybe she decided she finally needs pet sitter? Then marrying pilot wasn't the best decision. Although it definitely helps with the budget for alcohol. I think she already decided she doesn't want children because she is not willing to stop drinking. I give them a year unless she starts changing...

[Airy2021]

14 hours ago, Boo Boo said:

As a cat owner, I didn't hate it at all.  She didn't chose to be paired with someone allergic to her babies.  Seemingly this should be a question raised during the interviewing process by the experts.  It's a deal breaker to me to rehome my beloved pets, so if that were me, you'd be getting allergy meds.  Not to mention, he didn't seem to have any problem being in the house with them.  

Imagine rehoming animals because of someone the "experts" paired you up with?  No fucking way.

Amen to this comment! I'm a dog owner and if they matched me to someone who had a dog allergy and wanted them rehomed or something...GAME OVER. My dog is family and that's not a topic I would budge on. The experts should be making sure these couples are compatible in this part of their life. If they hate dogs or cats or have allergies to them why match them??? Not cool.

[Baltimore Betty]

7 hours ago, Kira53 said:

Psychotic?  Please Google "psychotic". Ryan is extremely stable.  Messy does not equal psychotic.

Maybe psychotic was not the right word, but there is something to his pristine exterior, wanting things to be perfect and then the messy cabinets and drawers...there is something to that type of personality, just saying that seems a little unstable or maybe fake.

BTW KIRA53, it sort of sounded like you were scolding me, you do know these pages are for fun, right?

[Yeah No]

16 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

18 hours ago, Adeejay said:

In New York City, the 80s was the height of the AIDS and crack epidemics. That was a really bad time.  Perhaps where Jake lived it was different.  

Jake was only like 8 when the decade ended so I doubt AIDS and crack would have figured into his psyche even if he did live in New York.....

Yeah, but that's part of the problem with Jake.  I don't give him a pass for not seeing the big picture with the '80s.  Even the beginning of the decade sucked with double digit inflation.  Today there is NO reason anyone should be in the dark about the seamier aspects of the decade.  We are bombarded with information these days.  He just chooses not to focus on those things.  He says he thinks the '80s was this "happy positive time".  That shows how little he knows and how shallow his interest is.  He's only seeing the surface. 

Look, I loved the music and movies of the 1930s when I was a teenager but my parents never let me forget about their poverty and hardships during that decade thanks to the Great Depression.  So I would never just look at all the surface aspects of a decade without making an effort to see the big picture.  My nephews were born in NYC in the early '80s and their parents left for the suburbs around the same time I did in 1991.  They were never in the dark about the reality of the decade even though they never were fully aware of it at the time.  In fact, they were very hesitant to move to NYC for work when the opportunity presented itself.  One of them did go because his girlfriend was from NYC, but it was not an easy decision.  The other one has resisted it at all costs.

So I think even my nephews would look at Jake's obsession with this fantasy surface '80s stuff as weird and immature.  There is having an interest in something and then taking it to the extreme of an obsession.  It looks like Jake can't even get through a conversation without commenting on how something reminds him of the '80s.  If I knew him I might have some interesting conversations with him as someone who actually remembers Members Only jackets fondly, but beyond that I could never imagine myself in any kind of serious relationship with him.  It would probably irk me that he only sees the surface stuff.  I'd feel compelled to make him see the reality and not just focus on the cute and kitschy aspects of the decade.  Honestly, though, he is not the first young person I've known of that seems to love that decade so much.

I left New York City in 1991 because even then it was a really bad time.  Homeless drug addicts were living in the alleyways of my building.  My purse was snatched right in front of my building and I lived across the street from a police precinct!  It was a decision I regretted having to make because I loved the city.  Then when the city turned around I regretted it even more.  Now that I'm older I'm at peace with it, though.  I know I could never live there and be happy again.

[Lindz]

On 2/24/2021 at 5:09 PM, Empress1 said:

That green comforter is hideous. And I maintain that the show was better when they had to find and pay for their own housing.

I thought they got the screwed with that, but it's just the guest room. They did it to make it so unappealing no one would want to sleep there. 😂

 

Edited February 27, 2021 by Lindz