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S12.E07: How Do You Know If You're In Love?


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On 2/24/2021 at 5:45 PM, gonecrackers said:

For this season, yes, at least one.

Oh Chris doesn't have one (dog) -- welp, he needs to go anyway.

Because he is one. 😂😂

Edited by Lindz
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On 2/25/2021 at 7:49 AM, humbleopinion said:

Jake wants to be accepted by the mainstream, represented by the friend group that is Haley’s lifeline but those lemmings do not like people who are too unique, dress in odd costumes for comic effect,  who can’t chat about bland things in life.
Jake’s nerd friends tried to warn him that he will not convince anyone that 80’s detritus is cool and his insistence of talking about nothing else will hurt him with his new friends. 

Jake’s need for PDA...and Haley’s rejection of his touching her is telling.

Hand holding  is a phase he missed in middle school and high school when he was an insecure chubby mathlete, watching the popular group eating at the popular table laughing, having fun and obviously ignoring him.

He wants a popular girl who is proud to be seen with him in full freak mode...jorts, MembersOnly white jacket in his mullet wig, who can make him feel he is part of that group as they go to alum football weekends and party at sorority and frat alum functions.

He is hurt that his wife still makes him feel he is on the outside looking inside....but he is too stubborn and proud to change.

And Jake shouldn’t change unless he wants to change.

He can ride and die on his one note personality.

Jake is the guy in the IT department whose cube is decorated in all manner of kitschy toys he's collected over the years.  In his case, it's probably full of '80s action figures and neon everywhere.  He's the guy that the sales reps. like Haley side eye in second hand embarrassment when they walk past his desk.  I think matching him with Haley might have been deliberate sabotage.  In the old days we used to say that a woman like Haley was "out of his league", and actually she is.  I prefer to say she's in a different league, not better or worse.  Anyone with any knowledge of complementary personality types would know that a sales rep. matched with a quirky IT or science nerd only works on "The Big Bang Theory", which means in the real world pretty much never.  Leonard and Penny are an unlikely couple so that's why it's comedy gold.  This show and their "opposites attract" theory is most often proven wrong, and that's probably no accident.  They want it to fail.  They are yet another obvious mismatch.  Jake needed to find an Amy from "Big Bang Theory" that could go there with the "out there" aspects of his interests and personality.  Haley is not that woman.  Nothing wrong with her.  Nothing wrong with him either.

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2 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

there is something to his pristine exterior, wanting things to be perfect and then the messy cabinets and drawers...there is something to that type of personality, just saying that seems a little unstable or maybe fake.

I thought something similar.  That, there's this perfectly pressed exterior, every single hair is gelled in place in that strange haircut, everything he says is measured and precise.  But open up the cabinets (i.e. his interior), and it all spills out.

Definitely something to ponder.

I don't know if it's unstable/fake, or maybe from having been raised in a very religious, strict environment, plus the fact that he was raised in an area where he says he didn't fit in, from an ethnic standpoint.  So he's never used the L word, never fully expressing himself.  And with Clara, who's hot to trot for him and ready to go physically, he's measuring out his physical emotions as well.

I like Ryan, but I feel like Clara will forever move at a pace that's comfortable for him.  This will be always weighted towards his comfort level, and if she's ok with it, then who am I to judge?  But I would not be.

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On 2/25/2021 at 9:56 AM, humbleopinion said:

Paige is being mind f*caked by Chri$ and it is despicable...

She actually believes when he whispered hot into her ear that he is afraid of falling in love with her?
That is some rich bull sh*t.

I am afraid she would have had backseat sex with him in the parking structure if he just crooked his finger at her...

Something is not right with Paige.....her legs are broken...they will not stop spreading open.

I think Paige may be drinking some kind of religious kool aid that tells her that she must "submit to her husband".  She still thinks somehow that her marriage to him is all ordained by God, which means ignoring all the abuse and evil coming from Chris even though it is as obvious as the nose on anyone's face.  She deep down doubts her own instincts in favor of some ridiculous literal interpretation of what her "wifely duties" are.  And no doubt he is working that angle to get her to keep spreading those legs.  It's all about the document, not what he's actually doing to her, which if she is to interpret it from a religious context is not from God at all but from the devil.....Sorry to say but this MO has been used by so-called "religious" people for a long time.  It's how women are brainwashed to think that polygamy is a way to get into heaven even though their guts are screaming that it's all wrong.....

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Uh WHAAA? Haley said she can't wait to move in together when she wouldn't talk to him & changed seats?? WTF?!! 😂 Jake accused her of having a boyfriend? Oh he's SPAZZING!! Totally doing the absolute WRONG thing, PROJECTING his past hurts & insecurites. He made himself the bad guy & her the "victim" to have to apologize to. Did she apologize for LYING? Please tell me she had some accountability for that. WHERE was the discussion of this with Pastor Cal? Why didn't he ask if they consummated the marriage? The 80s obsession is red flag? Girl! GTFOH with that lame ish!! She's playing. The question was how to connect. That wasn't an answer. Her problem is she only cares about herself & she's not giving any indication she'll try at the marriage & that's terrible. Just say you're done, so we don't have to see the evading anymore. His problem is he's so impatient, confused, & frustrated by the situation that he doesn't know what to do & is afraid it's over.

Edited by Lindz
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26 minutes ago, Silver Bells said:
On 2/25/2021 at 11:36 PM, candall said:

I have a fond spot for the 80's--shoulder pads flattered everyone.

Everything comes back sooner or later.

I'm still waiting for shoulder pads to come back.  I'm a pear shape and they made me look more proportionate.  I was actually LOL when Jake told Hayley that her skirt was very '80s.  Light stone wash was very in back then.  Even high waist jeans have come back but so far no shoulder pads....

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10 minutes ago, Lindz said:

Uh WHAAA? Haley said she can't wait to move in together when she wouldn't talk to him & changed seats?? WTF?!! 😂 Jake accused her of having a boyfriend? Oh he's SPAZZING!! Totally doing the absolute WRONG thing, PROJECTING his past hurts & insecurites. He made himself the bad guy & her the "victim" to have to apologize to. Did she apologize for LYING? Please tell me she had some accountability for that. WHERE was the discussion of this with Pastor Cal? Why didn't he ask if they consummated the marriage? The 80s obsession is red flag? Girl! GTFOH with that lame ish!! She's playing. The question was how to connect. That wasn't an answer. Her problem is she only cares about herself & she's not giving any indication she'll try at the marriage & that's unacceptable. Just say you're done, so we don't have to see her evade anymore. His problem is he's so impatient, confused, frustrated by the situation that he doesn't know what to do & is afraid it's over.

Thank you very large.  First of all, changing seats for a five hour flight is a Bitch move.  He should have been done right there.  She has a mean streak.  Secondly, he mentioned he assumed she still had a boyfriend.  My husband still mentions my ex and we are married a long time.  Jake was assuming, as she didn’t invite him downstairs.  He was figuring things out why she didn’t want him downstairs.  Then he calls her a liar and rightly so.  She gets all huffy as nobody puts her highness in that position.  He stuck up for himself and told her bing, bam, boom.  She’s not the little sweetie pie everyone thinks she is.  She’s cunning.  Nobody will be good enough for her.  Anything he showed her in his house was negative.  She should of complemented him on something .. anything.  My husband said “ boy, these girls want everything their way”.  Yeah buster, that’s why we are married forever.  I appreciated everything he has done and let him know it.  Nothing wrong with that.  Those two are oil & water.  Cut the cord already.

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1 hour ago, Yeah No said:

  Nothing wrong with her.  Nothing wrong with him either.

Jake thinks he was the whole package...looks, personality, financial profile...

He mistakenly thought MAFS  had his welfare in mind but in reality he is a story line.

Production editing have reduced him to a caricature.

Same with Haley, she is portrayed as a cliche stuck up ex sorority girl who is desperate to be married to a clone of her friends' bland husbands.

She wants a man who fits like a puzzle piece into their friend group.

Both are nice people looking for love.

Bringing out the worst in each other is despicable but ratings gold for MAFS.....

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3 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Maybe psychotic was not the right word, but there is something to his pristine exterior, wanting things to be perfect and then the messy cabinets and drawers...there is something to that type of personality, just saying that seems a little unstable or maybe fake.

BTW KIRA53, it sort of sounded like you were scolding me, you do know these pages are for fun, right?

Yeah, this show is giving me high blood pressure.  

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5 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

Jake thinks he was the whole package...looks, personality, financial profile...

He mistakenly thought MAFS  had his welfare in mind but in reality he is a story line.

Production editing have reduced him to a caricature.

Same with Haley, she is portrayed as a cliche stuck up ex sorority girl who is desperate to be married to a clone of her friends' bland husbands.

She wants a man who fits like a puzzle piece into their friend group.

Both are nice people looking for love.

Bringing out the worst in each other is despicable but ratings gold for MAFS.....

Chris and Paige are the only ones with major problems and shouldn’t continue on the show.  All the others are run of the mill problems of daily life and shouldn’t be taken so seriously.  Plus, everyone’s opinion should be respected.  😀 We all are in a pandemic, and that’s a problem.  This show is scripted and all bullshit.  But, it’s like Calgon.  Take me away.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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4 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Maybe psychotic was not the right word, but there is something to his pristine exterior, wanting things to be perfect and then the messy cabinets and drawers...there is something to that type of personality, just saying that seems a little unstable or maybe fake.

BTW KIRA53, it sort of sounded like you were scolding me, you do know these pages are for fun, right?

I just think it's being tidy where it matters, not necessarily evidence of a negative personality trait!

Because Clara's Marie Kondo folded-clothing super organization could just as easily be considered something weird and negative. 

You know that scene in "Sleeping With the Enemy" when Julia Roberts' character opens the cupboard to see all the neatly lined up cans....?!

 

 

 

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Jake was HURT. He lashed out in anger from being HURT. And it was Hayley AND THE OTHERS who HURT him.

And HE should apologize?! I don't THINK so!

Here's the thing: The participants  were all vetted, interviewed, visited. Jake had a perfectly reasonable  expectation that he would be matched with someone who could at the least be tolerant of, maybe even understanding of, and at best cool with his lifestyle. He got nothin'.

Also, Jake is 38 years old. Did the experts think this leopard would readily change his spots? 

But anyway, the 80s here are a red herring. Hayley simply is not and has never been physically attracted to Jake. 

You put her imagined Dreamboat in a Members Only jacket in that dark man-cave with Wham! on the turntable under a neon light spelling out "MTV" and a Rubik's Cube on the glass coffee table---and I think we would see how accepting Hayley can be! 😉

 

 

 

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Shady azz Hypochris!! We ALL know it won't work out with his ex, but whatever. Another man won't raise his child for the 6 months he can stick it out. 😂 He can find that out the hard way. WHY is he hiding from the cameras? & toyed with Paige until the ridiculous end. SO OVER THEM!!

Edited by Lindz
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1 hour ago, LennieBriscoe said:

I just think it's being tidy where it matters, not necessarily evidence of a negative personality trait!

Because Clara's Marie Kondo folded-clothing super organization could just as easily be considered something weird and negative. 

You know that scene in "Sleeping With the Enemy" when Julia Roberts' character opens the cupboard to see all the neatly lined up cans....?!

 

 

 

This tidy stuff is funny.  Who cares if things aren’t just so.  Does that make them better people if they have tidy closets?  Wait until the kids come.  They will be lucky if they take a shower and wash their hair.  Right now, my coffee table is a mess with books, papers, water glasses, face cream.  Who gives a shit.  I’m on my I pad and that’s more important.  Blabbing about these stupid shows we just have to watch.  Lol.

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3 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

Thank you very large.  First of all, changing seats for a five hour flight is a Bitch move.

Yes. Very immature.  I think she's embarrassed to be seen with him.

 

3 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

She’s not the little sweetie pie everyone thinks she is.  She’s cunning.  Nobody will be good enough for her.  Anything he showed her in his house was negative.  She should of complemented him on something .. anything.

She couldn't even appreciate the sunglasses he said he got for her. I'm sure they were just cheap sunglasses you get at a party store but she could have tried them on and be silly for a bit

 

26 minutes ago, Lindz said:

Woops! Clara totally tricked me!! I thought she indicated they consummated their marriage by saying they have a "physical relationship." Boo!

She tricked me too. I thought they had done it on the honeymoon. 

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20 hours ago, Starlight925 said:

Exactly.

It's the type of thing a person says when they take a little snipe at you, and then say you're too sensitive.

No, M-F'er, I don't like it when people snipe at me.  

I have a "BFF" who does this to me. She's a mind f. Good thing I met my husband & with his unmistakable astuteness, he also noticed & confirmed that she DOES do this to me constantly.  She enjoys doing it in front of my husband and also has done it in front of my prior boyfriend as well. I also believe saying "that's *so* 【insert name here]" is an unkind sentiment. That said, I don't think Briana meant hurt by it.  I think she was a little irritated about the spill as she's a neat freak. She was probably venting and that happens with OCD. Vincent is ok. But his spilling champagne and somewhat insecure persona is not my biggest red flag. My red flag is that he pretty much came right out & previously stated he would need her financial support while trying his hand at his vehicle broker business.  If I'm not mistaken.  All-in-all though, if he can be strong financially & not give her an edge like that & have an excuse to cut him down, they may be ok. 

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The problem with labeling Brianna as a Hardcore Bossy Pants is Vincent going to be ultra sensitive to her little digs, her quickly pointing out his foibles and flaws with a smart aleky comment.

If Briana thinks she can get away with disparaging him or get a laugh at his expense, he will appear to be a wuss...a blow to his pride.

Vinny doesn't get the Boss' playful humor so "that's so Vinny" is insulting to him and "she doesn't have his back."

Truck in the eggshells to shovel onto their condo floor.....🥚

Briana will have to muzzle her little quips...

Edited by humbleopinion
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OHHHMYGOSSSH!! ICANTEVEN with Vincent's stupid CHOICE to be offended by Briana's teasing & shut down. STUPID! THAT'S STUPID!! But, of course Briana responded wrong because he couldn't be an ADULT & address it until she pried it out of him. Then he ran away because she got defensive. A MESS!! I swear. People. Just say stuff & don't even know how to work through it to reach a reasonable conclusion. So much for not saying the wrong thing Vincent! He topped it by doing the wrong thing! But he "found the person he wants to be with the rest of his life," yet he leaves their home after making himself upset. Wow. 😂😂

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Wiki the 1994 When a Man Loves a Woman starring Andy Garcia and Meg Ryan...

The plot:

VirGINNY (Alice Green (Meg Ryan) is a school counselor  is a Marketing customer event specialist who has a serious drinking problem and is married to Michael (Andy García

ERIK, an airline pilot. Though she is lighthearted and loving, Ginny is often reckless when drunk.

Watching perky Meg hit rock bottom with a thud was not pretty...

Get ready for Ginny's drunken stumbles and Erik's disappointment.

Edited by humbleopinion
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On 2/26/2021 at 7:42 AM, Boo Boo said:

I graduated high school in 1985.  I lived through the 80s as a teen.  For the life of me, I can't think of one thing that makes me feel nostalgic at all about that era.  So it's really odd to me that Jacob does.  Maybe it was The Wedding Singer that he saw as a kid and thought the 80s were the greatest thing ever.

His reaction to Haley was so over the top for two people that just met that it's red flag material.   I really liked him at first, but that was high drama for just a few days together.  

I graduated in 89 and I agree, the whole decade was tacky.  I'm nostalgic for some of the music, that's about it.

Name calling is not okay no longer how long you've been together.  Definitely a red flag with Jake.  I want to like him but I can't.

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I've noticed that they tend to pair the African-Americans based on their skin tone, so I wonder what is the criteria for Caucasians.  On the Philly season, a lot of viewers felt that Will was jealous that Keith was the one who was paired with Kristina.  Which brings me to Hayley.  I can't help but believe she is miffed, because Virginia got the handsome Pilot and she got the ordinary looking guy with the 80's obsession.

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I couldn't manage a screenshot of it but at the tail end of "pastor" Cal's meet with Haley & Jake, it was the generic "youre going to have to give this a chance and influence each other (AKA "Balance each other out" BS)" & while cringingly nodding in agreement, teeth clenched, Haley did an obvious closed-eyed eyeroll. She is a snob. Won't like her EVER. Cal did nothing to question Haley. But in fairness, Jake was classy by putting it on his own "past issues" & not throwing her under the bus with how she treated him. I like him. The 80s had some good music & iconic style etc. There's a reason people have 80s theme parties. It's not because of drugs, aids, the cold war or suicidal businessmen. I get it. They need to cut bait.

VA & Erik - I have no words for them. Everyone said it all.

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1 minute ago, Kdawg82 said:

The 80s had some good music & iconic style etc.

I had an idea.  I looked online and saw there are MANY events and groups of people who, like Jacob, LOVE the 80's.  Wouldn't something like that be the perfect method for Jacob to explore finding the perfect mate?

I'm not saying another 80's aficionado would produce the perfect mate for him; however, at least from that subset of women, he'd be eliminating a major barrier to at least, STARTING a relationship.  

Jacob apparently has a good career so if he found some likeminded women in one of these groups (maybe even Face Book groups....I didn't look) he'd be able to personally meet her wherever she might live.  Of course, they could Facetime or use other social media apps to progress in their relationship before an actual meeting takes place!

I don't believe appearing on the show did Jacob any favors but it did put his appearance and lifestyle preferences out there for "inspection."  In fact, I bet that among that 80's-loving crowd he might already be a "celebrity!!"😄

 

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25 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

can't help but believe she is miffed, because Virginia got the handsome Pilot and she got the ordinary looking guy with the 80's obsession.

I think both Erik and Jake are ordinary-looking. I actually think Jake is better-looking because he has more distinctive features and a better build. I think Hailey and Virginia are both pretty average-looking too (I regularly forgot about Hailey altogether for the first few episodes).

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50 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

Wiki the 1994 When a Man Loves a Woman starring Andy Garcia and Meg Ryan...

The plot:

VirGINNY (Alice Green (Meg Ryan) is a school counselor  is a Marketing customer event specialist who has a serious drinking problem and is married to Michael (Andy García

ERIK, an airline pilot. Though she is lighthearted and loving, Alice is often reckless when drunk.

Watching perky Meg hit rock bottom with a thud was not pretty...

Get ready for Ginny's drunken stumbles and Erik's disappointment.

I love, love Andy Garcia.  Freakin sexy.

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16 minutes ago, Crashcourse said:

(I'm sorry, I know Jake can't help having that nose)

What I find odd is that to me, Jake's face seems kind of smushed in even though he has that nose.  Kind of defies physics.

In that vein, I also noticed that the space between Clara's nose and her upper lip is very small, which might mean her mouth seems like it's pulled upward, which might make her chin seem even more protruding.

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34 minutes ago, pdlinda said:

I had an idea.  I looked online and saw there are MANY events and groups of people who, like Jacob, LOVE the 80's.  Wouldn't something like that be the perfect method for Jacob to explore finding the perfect mate?

I'm not saying another 80's aficionado would produce the perfect mate for him; however, at least from that subset of women, he'd be eliminating a major barrier to at least, STARTING a relationship.  

Jacob apparently has a good career so if he found some likeminded women in one of these groups (maybe even Face Book groups....I didn't look) he'd be able to personally meet her wherever she might live.  Of course, they could Facetime or use other social media apps to progress in their relationship before an actual meeting takes place!

I don't believe appearing on the show did Jacob any favors but it did put his appearance and lifestyle preferences out there for "inspection."  In fact, I bet that among that 80's-loving crowd he might already be a "celebrity!!"😄

 

I hope so because he got a raw deal.  I don’t think he was good looking enough for her, or his nose sad to say.  I’ll bet tho, that he is more intelligent than her.  He let her have it truthfully as she didn’t want him with the others for some reason, which wasn’t nice of her.  You can’t expect to act that way and get away with it.  He wasn’t rude.  He just said it like it was.
 

 

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1 hour ago, Adeejay said:

I've noticed that they tend to pair the African-Americans based on their skin tone, so I wonder what is the criteria for Caucasians.  On the Philly season, a lot of viewers felt that Will was jealous that Keith was the one who was paired with Kristina.  Which brings me to Hayley.  I can't help but believe she is miffed, because Virginia got the handsome Pilot and she got the ordinary looking guy with the 80's obsession.

In the case of Jasmine vs. Kristine, I don't think skin tone had anything to do with it - possibly that Kristine was petite and cute but most likely that Jasmine was a big old stick-in-the-mud - that season's Haley 😄   After she got annoyed with him for not rescuing her SUV and being nervous about heights, she announced that it was his job to pay all her bills.  Then he was done.  I think Jake and Erik are about equal in the looks department - they have different looks so it depends on your taste.  I'd pick Jake for looks but I could see Haley picking Erik.  And I'm sure she'd prefer a "regular guy" who was also a pilot to a nerd with sartorial issues 😄 

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6 minutes ago, Boo Boo said:

I find Erik very basic.  Jacob is more interesting looking to me.  

Yes .. plus, he could probably talk about many things other than the 80’s.  If given the chance, which he didn’t get from her especially.  

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Haley reminds me of blonde Molly who was paired with a good looking guy.  She didn’t like him from Day 1 and showed it.  They divorced, he married the Sex Therapist with 3 kids and she got nothing.    I’m going to watch the Jersey Housewives now.  I still didn’t clean off my coffee table, but I made ravioli, meatballs and brownies for hubby.  Screw the table.  He makes the money.

Edited by Silver Bells
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I thought Erik looked better on Unfiltered before the show. Like he dressed really well and his hair seemed different. I do think he’s more attractive than Jake, but I think attraction is a person preference. 
 

I wish I could just buy the whole season and then binge watch it and be done lol 

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38 minutes ago, princelina said:

Jasmine was a big old stick-in-the-mud - that season's Haley 😄   After she got annoyed with him for not rescuing her SUV and being nervous about heights, she announced that it was his job to pay all her bills.  Then he was done. 

I would respectfully have to disagree.  I recall saying to myself the MOMENT Will laid eyes on Jazmin he was not into her stature or her appearance.  After she revealed her personality, he was more "turned off" by her. 

I never, ever saw them as a romantic "couple" (like with Haley and Jake) so when Jaz went to the extreme length of trying to entice Will with some skimpy lingerie and he declined the invitation, I really felt sorry for the indignity she voluntarily subjected herself to (like Paige). 

I never believed there was anything Jazmine could have done to attract Will.

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1 hour ago, Boo Boo said:

I find Erik very basic.  Jacob is more interesting looking to me.  

Yes, he's definitely "interesting" looking, if you like that look.  I'll give him that.  

Actually, I think dad bod Vincent and need a new hairstyle Ryan are the best-looking of this group.

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10 minutes ago, pdlinda said:

I would respectfully have to disagree.  I recall saying to myself the MOMENT Will laid eyes on Jazmin he was not into her stature or her appearance.  After she revealed her personality, he was more "turned off" by her. 

I never, ever saw them as a romantic "couple" (like with Haley and Jake) so when Jaz went to the extreme length of trying to entice Will with some skimpy lingerie and he declined the invitation, I really felt sorry for the indignity she voluntarily subjected herself to (like Paige). 

I never believed there was anything Jazmine could have done to attract Will.

Agreed. Jasmine wasn't Will's physical type and once he got to know her, he found additional things that he didn't like about her. As @Adeejay mentioned, the show often pairs Black people with partners who have similar complexions.  Sometimes they are attracted to each other. Other times, one of them prefers something entirely different. Monet mentioned that Vaughn preferred Paula Patton types. 

Plenty of people have a wide range for what they find attractive. MAFS could match the more particular contestants with someone who fall within the range of what they prefer. After all they didn't pair Ryan with a brunette or Clara with a guy who looks like Jacob. They gave Brianna and Vincent what they wanted, too.  Ryan and Brianna's controlling natures might be even more challenging if their spouses weren't attracted to them. 

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I don’t know who needs to hear this (cough: Paige) but never, ever have unprotected sex with a fukboi. Have them tested, make sure you see the results yourself, and then still double wrap that thing.

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6 hours ago, rlc said:

 still double wrap that thing.

Remember PO$ bragged of a strong PULL OUT GAME...supposedly, allegedly, Williams fetu$ not withstanding

Can't hurt to double bag.... just for STDs’ sake.....

 

Edited by humbleopinion
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10 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Yeah, but that's part of the problem with Jake.  I don't give him a pass for not seeing the big picture with the '80s.  Even the beginning of the decade sucked with double digit inflation.  Today there is NO reason anyone should be in the dark about the seamier aspects of the decade.  We are bombarded with information these days.  He just chooses not to focus on those things.  He says he thinks the '80s was this "happy positive time".  That shows how little he knows and how shallow his interest is.  He's only seeing the surface. 

Look, I loved the music and movies of the 1930s when I was a teenager but my parents never let me forget about their poverty and hardships during that decade thanks to the Great Depression.  So I would never just look at all the surface aspects of a decade without making an effort to see the big picture.  My nephews were born in NYC in the early '80s and their parents left for the suburbs around the same time I did in 1991.  They were never in the dark about the reality of the decade even though they never were fully aware of it at the time.  In fact, they were very hesitant to move to NYC for work when the opportunity presented itself.  One of them did go because his girlfriend was from NYC, but it was not an easy decision.  The other one has resisted it at all costs.

So I think even my nephews would look at Jake's obsession with this fantasy surface '80s stuff as weird and immature.  There is having an interest in something and then taking it to the extreme of an obsession.  It looks like Jake can't even get through a conversation without commenting on how something reminds him of the '80s.  If I knew him I might have some interesting conversations with him as someone who actually remembers Members Only jackets fondly, but beyond that I could never imagine myself in any kind of serious relationship with him.  It would probably irk me that he only sees the surface stuff.  I'd feel compelled to make him see the reality and not just focus on the cute and kitschy aspects of the decade.  Honestly, though, he is not the first young person I've known of that seems to love that decade so much.

I left New York City in 1991 because even then it was a really bad time.  Homeless drug addicts were living in the alleyways of my building.  My purse was snatched right in front of my building and I lived across the street from a police precinct!  It was a decision I regretted having to make because I loved the city.  Then when the city turned around I regretted it even more.  Now that I'm older I'm at peace with it, though.  I know I could never live there and be happy again.

I get what you are saying - I really do. And I also agree Jake talks about it waaaayy too much. But I don’t agree that you have to be mired in the real history of the decade to balance the admiration for the pop culture of any decade. I was a kid living in California in the 1980’s so what was happening in New York was nothing like my experience in any way, and I’m guessing probably not what little Jake remembers either. Am I aware that New York was a cesspool then? Sure, but I am not thinking of that when I listen to my Depeche Mode or watch my John Hughes movies. From a pop culture standpoint, I completely understand why he likes it - the fashion, movies and music ARE fun, and they stand on their own without needing to get into a discussion of everything that was wrong with the decade as a whole. By that logic, nobody would ever be able to enjoy anything from ANY decade if you had to ruminate on all the real world garbage that happened from when it was made.

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5 hours ago, Adeejay said:

 

I can't help but believe she is miffed, because Virginia got the handsome Pilot and she got the ordinary looking guy with the 80's obsession.

I think Jake is more handsome than Eric. Eric is too pale and pasty for my taste.  I don't like his side-parted, untapered haircut. And he has no fashion sense whatsoever.

While I'm at it, everyone seems to think Virginia is so cute. I don't see it.

While we're talking about looks...I don't watch The Bachelor or any of its spinoffs, but this guy that the media is saying will take over as host looks a lot like MAFS Chris. 

4 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

What I find odd is that to me, Jake's face seems kind of smushed in even though he has that nose.  Kind of defies physics.

In that vein, I also noticed that the space between Clara's nose and her upper lip is very small, which might mean her mouth seems like it's pulled upward, which might make her chin seem even more protruding.

I see all that. I also think Haley's face is smushed. It's like she has no profile. 

1 hour ago, rlc said:

I don’t know who needs to hear this (cough: Paige) but never, ever have unprotected sex with a fukboi. Have them tested, make sure you see the results yourself, and then still double wrap that thing.

I'm just making assumptions here, but she probably has unprotected sex due to her religious beliefs. 

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5 minutes ago, Blissfool said:

Eric is too pale and pasty for my taste. 

Anybody else notice that Erik always seems to have his shoulders pulled up around his ears?  Some people have shoulders like coat hangers, but his don't seem to naturally do that.

 

5 minutes ago, Blissfool said:

I'm just making assumptions here, but she probably has unprotected sex due to her religious beliefs. 

I was already having trouble understanding Paige's religion, but this would really take the cake.

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How is refusing to be straight up with a guy being "nice"? Being nice is letting them know you won't even try, you've quit, you're done & put them out of their misery. It's pathetic & hurtful to string them along in limbo under the guise you're actually trying. BE AN ADULT!! We have this disagreement EVERY SEASON! 😂😂

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On 2/27/2021 at 9:12 AM, Yeah No said:

Jake is the guy in the IT department whose cube is decorated in all manner of kitschy toys he's collected over the years.  In his case, it's probably full of '80s action figures and neon everywhere.  He's the guy that the sales reps. like Haley side eye in second hand embarrassment when they walk past his desk.  I think matching him with Haley might have been deliberate sabotage.  In the old days we used to say that a woman like Haley was "out of his league", and actually she is.  I prefer to say she's in a different league, not better or worse.  Anyone with any knowledge of complementary personality types would know that a sales rep. matched with a quirky IT or science nerd only works on "The Big Bang Theory", which means in the real world pretty much never.  Leonard and Penny are an unlikely couple so that's why it's comedy gold.  This show and their "opposites attract" theory is most often proven wrong, and that's probably no accident.  They want it to fail.  They are yet another obvious mismatch.  Jake needed to find an Amy from "Big Bang Theory" that could go there with the "out there" aspects of his interests and personality.  Haley is not that woman.  Nothing wrong with her.  Nothing wrong with him either.

Nothing wrong with Jake and his obsession with his “things”.  My gorgeous divorced college educated 50 year old Son is now as we speak, at Disney World at the Star Wars exhibition with his Cousin the same age.  Besides Star Wars things, he loves everything Disney, rides and all.  In fact, my whole family are Disney finatics.  Some people don’t get it, but it’s what we love no matter the age. My husband could care less, but hr goes too and plays golf there.  Different strokes for different folks.  Haley’s world seems to be the only world she thinks.  My sons room is filled with Star Wars spaceships, action figures and everything Star Wars from years ago since he was a kid.  It’s his thing, just like Jakes.  Haley is very close minded.   I said gorgeous, as my Son has a perfect nose, unlike Jake, who can’t help it.  I think it turns Haley off from Day one, unfortunately.  His “ hobby” wasn’t the reason for divorce .. they were high school sweethearts that just fizzled after awhile.

 

Edited by Silver Bells
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On 2/27/2021 at 6:25 AM, evansmom10 said:

I AGREE, I don't get why people don't see how low key cutting this was (or could have been perceived).  That's so xxxx of you, when I did something clumsy or stupid would make me feel like you see me as clumsy/stupid. 

People are also forgetting this is part of a larger picture. If some person I started dating cleaned up after me and rearranged my luggage. And kept on reminding me they need X level of cleanliness I’d be p!ss3d when they made a remark about me spilling champagne. CHAMPAGNE a drink known to be a little messy. 
im also sure we didn’t see the other 10* snippy remarks she made during filming because it cut to the end of the day when they were both in their pajamas. 
*who knows how many remarks she made BUT I’m assuming Vincent couldn’t explain why he was upset because it was constant. 

Edited by watchingtvaddict
Changed happening to upset
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