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S10.E03: Count Your Blessings


Sew Sumi
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John and Abbie finish their winter honeymoon in Finland; Jinger flies to Arkansas after Grandma Duggar's health declines; Lauren opens up about her struggles with grief and depression; Jessa and Ben find out the gender of their third baby.

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So grandma Duggar did have some warning signs before she died? I was under impression she just suddenly died in the pool after a suspected stroke or heart attack. Did they ever explain? I am scared to watch how much JB puts on film about her death. They will leave NOTHING private for this family! This is exploiting her grandkids for a buck if you ask me. Why should I be shocked?

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(edited)

Yes, Mary had two prior strokes (around Christmas 2018) before the "big one" that caused her to fall into the pool.

This episode was filmed around February.

Edited by Sew Sumi
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Just now, Annb67 said:

Jesus! Lauren needs freaking help. This is ridiculous. I truly believe she has a mental issue. Please, get this girl help. Pronto

Her comment about other people's depression, "All I think, is whatever", says everything I need to know about her. 

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2 minutes ago, ThinkerBell said:

Her comment about other people's depression, "All I think, is whatever", says everything I need to know about her. 

She has TONS of empathy. NOT! She's a self-centered, spoiled little girl.

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There was way too much of the predictable yacking over is it a girl or is it a boy.  We have to watch that nonsense with every single pregnancy and it's beyond annoying.

The usual TH's with Jessa overly smiling with her tonsils showing.

Way too much of JB and Michelle. Way too much talk of miscarriages over uneaten plates of fruit.

Finland was great to see.  However, while snowmobiling, John and Abby come upon a terrible accident involving many broken bones and a suspected spinal injury.  Even though many, many responders were already at the scene, they remind us that he  is a first responder and she is a nurse and they could have helped, if necessary.  I chuckled at that.  There is a huge difference between an LPN and an experienced trauma RN or doctor.  And I wondered if either even keep up their CPR training.

Grandma spoke with a noticeable weakness from her strokes, but otherwise seemed good.

Michelle had the usual blank expressions whenever someone else was speaking.  She nodded a lot and said Yesssss a lot!

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53 minutes ago, louannems said:

However, while snowmobiling, John and Abby come upon a terrible accident involving many broken bones and a suspected spinal injury.  Even though many, many responders were already at the scene, they remind us that he  is a first responder and she is a nurse and they could have helped, if necessary. 

Bahahahaha That made me totally think of this scene from Kung Pow:

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Ugh. I can not handle Lauren, her mother, and “Mom Michelle” simpering over their miscarriages and speaking in their phony wispy voices. Yuck! 
And Lauren dear, if you know you are suffering from depression, seek medical help. 

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While I didn't dislike the kids' reminiscing about Grandma, or even Boob for that matter, WTF Michelle. "Our life is but a vapor, here today and gone tomorrow."

I swear Michelle must have been even more drugged up than usual in this episode.

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I still feel bad making fun of a miscarriage because it is truly hard on women.  But at the same time Lauren just makes it so insufferably dramatic I can't drum up any pity for her at all.  And it's gone to far now.  Again it's hard because you never want to say "get over it" but I think we could reasonably say find ways to deal with it and stop milking it.  She got so much screen time out of this last season when it made sense to cover it as part of the show but what is the point now - so she can have more talking heads with her now trademark dramatic pauses?  Did lunch snack two pieces of fruit each with the Mom's and the reveal of Asa's box really do anything for her because if she really is still as torn up as she appears on-screen she probably needs a few professional sessions and we all know she's not going to get that.  I still suspect any of her angst that isn't put on for the camera comes from being raised to believe if you breed you're successful so the loss means you've failed.  I'd love to see her let go of that calm whispery Michelle like demeanor, give a few good screams, throw a couple vases against the wall and just let it all out once and for all.

Loved that John & Abbie actually had the glass items they made that they could show off; that looked like fun and puts a nice story behind the souvenirs.  Poor Grandma Mary though; it's harder to watch when you know what's coming.  

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8 hours ago, Annb67 said:

Jesus! Lauren needs freaking help. This is ridiculous. I truly believe she has a mental issue. Please, get this girl help. Pronto!

5 hours ago, PradaKitty said:

Ugh. I can not handle Lauren, her mother, and “Mom Michelle” simpering over their miscarriages and speaking in their phony wispy voices. Yuck! 
And Lauren dear, if you know you are suffering from depression, seek medical help. 

I haven't watched yet, but if Lauren really is suffering from depression, it's tragic, considering they don't believe it's a legitimate illness that can be helped by professional counseling and medication, but rather a lack of accepting god's will. That's scary when you consider cases like Andrea Yates. If Lauren has those tendencies, she could easily develop PPD.

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1 hour ago, floridamom said:

If Lauren has Jesus in her life, why then is she still depressed? Doesn't add up to me.

She’s discovered that loving Jesus and being a Christian doesn’t make her immune to sadness and tragedy.  I think that’s a big part of her downward spiral.  Christians are taught that if you follow the rules and do as the Lord says then you will have eternal happiness.  We often forget that bad things happen and feelings can’t always be prayed away.  It must be really messing with her mind. 

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10 hours ago, madpsych78 said:

ETA: An Anna sighting! But why was she there, without any of her own kids?

Because half a Smuggar kid's DNA belongs to Josh?  So TLC can't let them on the air? 😁

Edited by Churchhoney
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This wasn’t even fun to hate watch. Part of me thinks Lauren is putting on a show to get more air time. JD’s whole schtick is wearing thin really fast. All these 20 year old girls obsessed with giving birth is just sad at this point. I guess I liked the grandma Duggar clips. 
 

Edited by Maya
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Oh, and Lauren.

Lauren. Do yourself a favor and get off the TV. You are suffering from depression and narcissistic personality disorder. Get help, PRONTO ! I feel sorry for you dear, in that others depression causes you to say, "whatever". No, girl. No. You are no better than anyone else on this earth. You are a condescending, egocentric , straight up annoying little bitch. Shut your pie hole.

You had an opportunity to redeem yourself and speak of your mental health. Nobody suffering from depression wants you to "encourage" them. Not when you have undermined their depression. I am at the point that I think little Asa is so lucky now, because having you as his mother surely would have been unbearable for the little guy. You only deserve a fucking house plant to parent. If that.

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13 hours ago, Annb67 said:

It's nothing but pregnancy talk with snippets of JD and Abbie. Also, these girls are super awkward with each other. What a snoozefest.

The get together between Kendra, Jessa & Jinge at Jessa's was very awkward.  They seemed like random mothers talking in the pediatrician's waiting room than sisters talking. You would think best buds Jinge & Jessa would have been talking nonstop since they hadn't seen each for awhile.

Kendra seemed overwhelmed by the care Garrett requires. How is she going to be when blessing #2 arrives shortly?  Like we keep saying, these girls seem amazed by the care a baby needs yet they were raised in large families.  

10 hours ago, madpsych78 said:

While I didn't dislike the kids' reminiscing about Grandma, or even Boob for that matter, WTF Michelle. "Our life is but a vapor, here today and gone tomorrow."

I swear Michelle must have been even more drugged up than usual in this episode.

I'll have to watch it again, but I think Mary said the vapor phrase first.  It wasn't said too loudly & think that Mechelle picked up on it & repeated it &  then Mary said it again or commented on it.  I would think think life & death were on Mary's mind much more than Mechelle's at the time so I'm giving credit to her for coming up with the line. **

2 hours ago, Fig Newton said:

Favorite episode EVER for all subtle (and not so subtle) sexual innuendos at the glass BLOWING factory. 😋

For starters, the glass they showed when Boob and wifey did the same activity was quite, quite phallic (Or was it just me ???). Then, John and Abbie with all their blow comments. "blow hard", "blow", etc. Pure gold !! Apparently, to me anyway, molten glass in a shaped tube mimics the shape and appearance of (dare I say it ?) .............a pecker!😜

Please, I beg of you, forgive me for my impure thoughts.............

Definitely the best part esp TLC digging up the old footage of Mechelle & her tube shaped glass.   IIRC, it was even a pink/peach color making it much more realistic. 

**ETA:  I stand corrected. I rewatched that part of the episode & Mechelle was the one that said the vapor line first. I thought sure Mary said it first. 

Edited by Barb23
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2 hours ago, Spencer Hastings said:

 I think that’s a big part of her downward spiral.  Christians are taught that if you follow the rules and do as the Lord says then you will have eternal happiness.

That should be many fundamentalist Christians not Christians in general.  For instance, that isn't a belief that I've been taught at any of the churches I've attended.  

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I read the forums for the snark but I don't watch the show.  For some reason last night, I saw it was on and tuned in.  Wow.  How in the world is this still on?  What an idiotic snoozefest.  

Oh my goodness, Lauren.  I'm going there......she and her Mother seem like a couple of plain old dumb dumbs.  When you make Michelle look like the smartest one in the room, there's a serious problem.  

Asa:  created, May 1st....taken to the Lord, May 1st.  Sure am glad she had time to make that tee-shirt in between.  

John and Abbie are cute.  I like them.  I don't mind the newlywed cheesiness.  But please, please, stop with the PDA.  Ain't nobody interested in seeing that.

Agreed that the gathering of Jessa, Jinger and Kendra was horribly awkward.  It was like little girls playing with their new dolls.  Do they have anything in the world to talk about other than pregnancies and babies?  It's cringeworthy.  Jessa seems years and years more mature than the other two, which is interesting.

It's funny to imagine the three of them living normal and age appropriate lives.  There was a great discussion in one of the other threads where people speculated what these girls would be like had they gone to college.  I would have loved to have seen Jessa as a college girl and president of her sorority.  Letting her wrath fly on the pledges and taking a different guy to each date party!

Edited by Kiki620
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14 minutes ago, Pasha Kitty said:

I was distracted with the Chopped desert episodes last eve, so I missed Counting On.  It doesn't seem I missed much.

It was in very poor taste to have filmed Grandma Duggar's service. 

I watched Chopped too. I cant stand the woman who won. 

I will catch this on demand.

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2 hours ago, Spencer Hastings said:

Christians are taught that if you follow the rules and do as the Lord says then you will have eternal happiness.  

2 minutes ago, Absolom said:

That should be many fundamentalist Christians not Christians in general.  For instance, that isn't a belief that I've been taught at any of the churches I've attended.  

Good point! IMO the big lure of Gothard and his ilk of fundies, is the idea that you can control outcomes in your life on Earth. You do that by following a certain set of rules that are ordained by God - and, conveniently, packaged and sold by none other than Gothard and the IBLP. I think of it as vending machine religion: put in the correct prayers and behavior and bingo, you get blessings dispensed.

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5 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

I think of it as vending machine religion: put in the correct prayers and behavior and bingo, you get blessings dispensed.

And if those blessings don’t show up, or if bad things happen, you’re doing Christian wrong and it’s all your fault.

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19 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

Good point! IMO the big lure of Gothard and his ilk of fundies, is the idea that you can control outcomes in your life on Earth. You do that by following a certain set of rules that are ordained by God - and, conveniently, packaged and sold by none other than Gothard and the IBLP. I think of it as vending machine religion: put in the correct prayers and behavior and bingo, you get blessings dispensed.

But yet at the same time, they seem to subscribe to the notion that Satan is especially targeting the most devout, and placing hardship, roadblocks and temptation in their lives to lure them off the straight and narrow. Therefore, in many ways, Christians will suffer more in their lives (with, of course, the eternal reward to come) than the unsaved masses.

I guess that's the loophole which lets God get all the glory for the good things while not being blamed for the bad. And if all else fails, there is always "God's Perfect Plan"

Edited by Jynnan tonnix
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I think Lauren is a narcissist, just like Michelle. When she made the flippant comment about people suffering from depression, I was like, wow, what a little snot. Si was never my favorite Duggar, but I feel horribly for him. I can't imagine being stuck with an exhausting drama queen for the rest of my life.

Kendra, Jessa and Jinger were soooo awkward during their get together. I think Kendra prefers her own family and you can see Jinger's "I'm too good for you bumpkins" attitude starting to emerge. 

I didn't pay attention to any of the JD and Abbie stuff. 

Michelle's vapor comment?! Yikes. That seemed like a wildly inappropriate thing to say to a senior who suffered two strokes and is obviously in declining health. 

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Mary and Michelle were probably referencing or paraphrasing this Bible verse:

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James 4:14 New King James Version (NKJV)

14 whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.

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4 hours ago, Spencer Hastings said:

 Christians are taught that if you follow the rules and do as the Lord says then you will have eternal happiness.  We often forget that bad things happen and feelings can’t always be prayed away.  It must be really messing with her mind. 

That is a massive generalization that does not even come close to applying to all Christians. Eternal happiness after death is one thing, but not on earth. I don’t think even JB and Michelle belief that following Christ means there is no suffering on earth. 

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Another snooze fest can’t believe I watched this. 
I noticed when Michelle,Lauren’s mom(what on earth is her name?) and Lauren sat down for a chat about Lauren’s miscarriage, Michelle loaded up her plate with fruit and didn’t even touch it, Does she think grapes are from the devil or something? 

Also Jessa and and Ben said they didn’t want to tell Spurgeon the sex of the baby because he’ll tell everyone,  Then he was in the room when they revealed the sex! Anna couldn’t have sat outside the room with him, not like anyone wants to see her, we’ll always be reminded of Josh 🤮.

Next episode seems to be the gender reveal to the whole family, I wonder how they managed to keep Spurgeons mouth shut. Plus we all know it’s a girl anyway so why didn’t TLC say it’s a girl ( oh I forgot it was a secret then 😴)

Oh and the blowing glass thing was so funny, the flash back to JB and Michelle’s date and JBs glass looked like a penis was the only highlight, especially when he kept bashing it 😂

Edited by Puffin
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I found it interesting that Michelle didn't seem to know much about Lauren and her miscarriage.  Like she hadn't involved herself in it, hadn't called Lauren to talk to her about it etc.  I find that sad.  Lauren probably thought she was marrying into a close knit family that she could share life with and now finds herself isolated and only Josiah to talk with,  Lauren's mother seemed very concerned about her daughter and it almost seemed like her idea to get Michelle over there so she could pay some attention to her daughter.  Or, it just all just a fake set up for the camera.  Regardless, I'm glad Lauren now realizes that depression is real and I do hope she takes what she has learned by her miscarriage and isn't snooty to other women who go through one.  

Did it seem like Jinger stayed with Jessa when visiting?  Seemed like she was over there a lot.   I agree with those who have posted above about the extreme awkwardness when Kendra came over to Jessa's and the three of them sat around and talked.  Maybe they are stiff because of the cameras.  I was very surprised to hear Kendra's feelings on how difficult it was for her to meet Garrett's baby entertainment demands.  And now she is pregnant again.  I guess she relies heavily on her family to help her with Garrett.  Not so much the Duggars.    

The snippet of Jinger visiting with Grandma Duggar was sweet to watch.  Jim Bob really loved his mother and I could hear his concern in his voice when talking about her strokes and how it had changed things, but yet, he was hoping for the best.  Michelle, was just weird.  Too bad she had to be there.  

It is interesting to me how open the Duggars will be with Grandma Duggar's passing but yet, many areas of their live they never open up for the audience to see.  

The show is just so far behind their real life, that it really isn't interesting. 

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40 minutes ago, ranchgirl said:

The show is just so far behind their real life, that it really isn't interesting. 

I think it's social media. Events like births and engagements (and, sadly, Joy's miscarriage) are publicized almost in real time on FB and IG and Twitter.  With or without a People exclusive story. The leisurely pace of show production for Counting On just isn't intended to keep up. 

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1 hour ago, PradaKitty said:

I wonder what state Lauren would be I. If she had lost her baby much further along in the pregnancy-like Joy. 

I think she would have the same depressed, poor pitiful me, everything bad that happens to me is 100x worst than whatever happened to you, attitude. She doesn't seem to have any sense of perspective, which is pretty typical for narcissistic people.

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Watching this Asa segment...I feel like Lauren is acting. I have no doubt she was super upset by the miscarriage, but I also think the dragging on and on about depression and understanding and the making of the box which she tearfully cried over with her mom and machelle, just over dramatics. 

Just my observation watching this. Like I have no doubt that she probably felt that way for a week or month, but for many people who have had early miscarriages, and especially those who aren't trying to put on a reality tv show, I think the pain fades after time and you aren't feeling hopelessly depressed day after day. I think she is trying to convey how she felt, not how she currently feels, but she knows that feeling that way will get her more attention, even despite her being currently pregnant. 

Michelle mentioned her miscarriage with Caleb and said her and Boob   'gave  that (difficult) time to the lord and were blessed with the next pregnancy ' I think that might have been michelle's subtle  way of saying " lauren you need to move on a bit " lol 

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It's hard to imagine a more self-absorbed twatwaffle.  No doubt in my mind that Lauren is a narcissistic personality, with a secondary diagnosis of histrionics.

Just my layperson observation.  I don't have a psychology degree of any kind.

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5 hours ago, Lukeysboat said:

That is a massive generalization that does not even come close to applying to all Christians. Eternal happiness after death is one thing, but not on earth. I don’t think even JB and Michelle belief that following Christ means there is no suffering on earth. 

I meant to say “some” but it looks like the word disappeared when I wrote it early this morning.  I absolutely know that it does not apply to all! 

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16 hours ago, madpsych78 said:

While I didn't dislike the kids' reminiscing about Grandma, or even Boob for that matter, WTF Michelle. "Our life is but a vapor, here today and gone tomorrow."

I swear Michelle must have been even more drugged up than usual in this episode.

I thought that was the most intensive thing to say to a person who is already aging, still a little weak physically , body is getting used to BP meds and who-knows what else, and recovering from a stoke. 

Talk about kicking a person when they are down..Damn - that was deep  cut - slap in the face .. as if Mother Duggar could be replaced.. And the poor woman is sitting right there - trying to enjoy her great-grand daughter.

Hate to think what she spouted off behind Mother Duggars back ( ie how much land, money or jewelry, am I going to get ? Or Now I have to wash my own children's clothes)

What was Mrs. Grim Reaper trying to do - rush vaporize her to grave sooner than necessary? That surely wasn't a statement of cheer, well-wishes or optimism. 

301138668_ezgif.com-optimize(2).gif.028d3009135d2bb34b9460b8d5f88ee8.gif

Edited by sATL
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18 minutes ago, sATL said:

I thought that was the most intensive thing to say to a person who is already aging, still a little weak physically , body is getting used to BP meds and who-knows what else, and recovering from a stoke. 

Talk about kicking a person when they are down..Damn - that was deep  cut - slap in the face .. as if Mother Duggar could be replaced.. And the poor woman is sitting right there - trying to enjoy her great-grand daughter.

Hate to think what she spouted off behind Mother Duggars back ( ie how much land, money or jewelry, am I going to get ? Or Now I have to wash my own children's clothes)

What was Mrs. Grim Reaper trying to do - rush vaporize her to grave sooner than necessary? That surely wasn't a statement of cheer, well-wishes or optimism. 

301138668_ezgif.com-optimize(2).gif.028d3009135d2bb34b9460b8d5f88ee8.gif

I suppose it's possible that Mary was also the sort of person who was pragmatic about death and didn't like people pretending that, one way or another, the chances were that she didn't have a whole lot of time left. My mom is like that. She 's going on 86, and hates it when people try to sugar-coat realities. Even though there is nothing specifically wrong with her which is immediately life-threatening, the fact is that her body (and, to a lesser extent, her mind) are just getting to the point that they are simply wearing out. Maybe Mary was also one of those who encouraged people to face realities. She had been through two strokes, and was no doubt well aware that she was at risk for a more significant one.

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I am not disagreeing with anything but, have considered that maybe they all seem awkward is because there are cameras and lights and outside people (even though they have been Duggar approved and they know them) all over the place and they are guarded so as not to reveal too much of their real selves.  We don't know how many "takes" it took to get any of the shots.  I just don't think it is as spontaneous as they want it to seem.  But Lauren needs help she will never get.  And maybe she will question why it is when she looks to Jesus for help she doesn't feel any better.  I still don't love these people and their awful beliefs (and behaviors)

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20 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

Bumping for anyone who wants to snark live.

Is there a live chat for this mess?   As snarky as I can be, I just cannot watch this in real time.  I have to be able to fastforward in order to prevent my screaming at the tv or hurling something at it.

12 hours ago, sigmaforce86 said:

I still feel bad making fun of a miscarriage because it is truly hard on women.  But at the same time Lauren just makes it so insufferably dramatic I can't drum up any pity for her at all.  And it's gone to far now.  Again it's hard because you never want to say "get over it" but I think we could reasonably say find ways to deal with it and stop milking it.  She got so much screen time out of this last season when it made sense to cover it as part of the show but what is the point now - so she can have more talking heads with her now trademark dramatic pauses?  Did lunch snack two pieces of fruit each with the Mom's and the reveal of Asa's box really do anything for her because if she really is still as torn up as she appears on-screen she probably needs a few professional sessions and we all know she's not going to get that.  I still suspect any of her angst that isn't put on for the camera comes from being raised to believe if you breed you're successful so the loss means you've failed.  I'd love to see her let go of that calm whispery Michelle like demeanor, give a few good screams, throw a couple vases against the wall and just let it all out once and for all.

I wanted to scream at the tv "no more Lauren," but then I started to wonder if this is the first death she has experienced.  She's very young, and her parents seem young so I wonder if she has 4 living grandparents. By the time I was her age, I had lost 3 grandparents, an uncle, and several great aunts.  She just seems lost.  Si gets on my last nerve especially since he married.

I will admit to enjoying the trip to Finland.  I loved the ice hotel;  I wonder if they had a meal there.  I would want a glass of wine at least, but I know they don't drink --or they don't drink when TLC is filming.   And the glass blowing was interesting, but I hated seeing the replay of JB and Michelle doing the same thing. 

Too much JB and Michelle.  I found the scene with Grandma Mary disturbing because I knew that she had died.  Also since we know Jessa had a girl, the ultrasound to find out the SEX of the baby seemed boring.  Did they take Spurgeon (ugh,  I still hate the name) out of the room when the sex was announced?

Kendra's child Gareth has a pretty face.

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