S03.E18: Her

[Empress1]

12 minutes ago, GodsBeloved said:

Say it! And that brings me to Beth’s aged makeup. The thing they did with the lines on each side of her mouth (present day Rebecca has them too) is awful looking. They didn’t need to do much if anything to future Beth, who is in her mid 50s.

Angela Bassett, Kimberly Elise, Holly Robinson Peete, Alfre Woodard, Elise Neal, Lela Rochon are just a few women in their 50s who don’t look it.

Angela Bassett is 60 (I follow her on IG and she posted a picture of herself in a bikini - ROCKING a bikini - on her 60th), and I'm sure Alfre Woodard is over 60. But your point stands!

If the Big Three are supposed to be in their 50s in the future, I think they over-aged Randall.

[MBayGal]

6 hours ago, HollyGoLitely333 said:

I also think Kate is absent from these scenes because of weight/body. Toby's actor wears a larger body suit to make him bigger but Chrissy Metz is true to the size of Kate. You can't trim her so I assume we're going to see additional weight loss from Chrissy over the next year(s). She's already down quite a lot from season 1, to my untrained eye. 

Really?  Because to me it looks like she has gained weight over the past year or two.  And if she hasn't lost signficant weight yet, I would be surprised if she could get down to a more appropriate size in the next few years.

[debraran]

57 minutes ago, Kirkydee said:

About Jack and those 'yummy' corn sandwiches.

"Fun and impulsive damY d,' Jack would get a pizza or burgers.  Now with Rebecca hospitalized he is the defacto mom.  Mom cooks, not orders pizza.  Stay at home Rebecca probably has more in the pantry, but she WAS coming from the store. But I agree with other posters, toast the bread and serve corn on the side if those two items are THEE LAST items in the home.  I used to butter bread and add sugar, then toast it for a few minutes. 

About Kevin trying to influence Zoe over motherhood.  Thank you to all the posters who said women who choose to not have children shouldn't be viewed negatively or a 'what's wrong with HER' attitude.  Us men, we are sometimes trained to think women aren't complete without the 'joys' of motherhood.  The phrase " What if all women thought like you. We would cease to exist as a society"  is ignorant and belittling.  And yes I've heard it.  I'm sure many of you heard it.  

I've asked many female married coworkers "Any kids?  Why not? Is it something you want?" And I didnt mean any harm.  I believe i was programmed early in life what the supposed traditional roles of men and women are. So thanks for opening my eyes !

My beef has always been that the woman is portrayed as a cold b**ch or "damaged" if she doesn't want kids. They do or did the same with gay people at one time and still today. Abuse has many times been used as any reason to not want kids or not the opposite sex as a partner. On this show, Zoe was abused, not Beth so she's fine. Even if not mentioned as reason, why did they ever bring it up. Any black child had to be abused sexually on TV?  On Million Little Things, the wife of one of the main characters always said she didn't want kids but now he does and of course, there is an abusive uncle in her background. The writers know even if just shown, people will think it and it becomes something in the back of your mind when meeting someone who rejects the norm.

I also thought they made Jack look like a complete doofus with the kids, it wasn't endearing they couldn't leave Rebecca alone one day. God forbid she broke a leg or needed some more tests.

4 minutes ago, MBayGal said:

Really?  Because to me it looks like she has gained weight over the past year or two.  And if she hasn't lost signficant weight yet, I would be surprised if she could get down to a more appropriate size in the next few years.

I agree, but they can keep it open. If she decided to really take on a program to lose weight safely and drop 100 or so over a year or two, they shouldn't make her feel she couldn't. I believe when TIU is over, it would open more doors for her, but a very personal choice for her to make alone.

Edited April 5, 2019 by debraran

[GodsBeloved]

3 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

Angela Bassett is 60 (I follow her on IG and she posted a picture of herself in a bikini - ROCKING a bikini - on her 60th), and I'm sure Alfre Woodard is over 60. But your point stands!

If the Big Three are supposed to be in their 50s in the future, I think they over-aged Randall.

Yeah I should have mentioned that about Angela and Alfre. I started to include Cicely Tyson to really drive home the point 😂  

Agree about future Randall and they better make Kevin look old too.

[PRgal]

19 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

Angela Bassett is 60 (I follow her on IG and she posted a picture of herself in a bikini - ROCKING a bikini - on her 60th), and I'm sure Alfre Woodard is over 60. But your point stands!

If the Big Three are supposed to be in their 50s in the future, I think they over-aged Randall.

Politicians seem to age quicker than non-politicians.  Maybe Randall eventually ran for mayor. 

[MrsWitter]

6 hours ago, qtpye said:

They are Pearson. Randall will go in an talk about how he was abandoned at a fire station and raised by white people. He will speechify until all the private schools will want to give the girls full scholarships. Even with the scholarships, Randall will insist the girls attend a public school near William's old building. This is because he will single-handedly clear Philidelphia of all crime to the point where people from Bel Air will send their kids to West Philadelphia and do an opposite Fresh Prince. 

Are you a TIU writer? Because you should be. Thank you for figuring out the perfect way for Randall to integrate Fresh Prince. I had a nebulous idea, but you brought it to life!

17 hours ago, Constant Viewer said:

This was one of my main snacks growing up! I called it cheese toast though. No one else I know has ever eaten it and I've had to introduce it to others.

My SO is the same! Are you from the South? He will be so happy to know of someone else who grew up with “cheese toast.” When I was growing up with my Italian dad, if we put cheese on bread in the toaster oven, it was only mozzarella on crusty bread and there had to be olive oil, basil, oregano, and garlic too. So, you know, just garlic bread. We could do nothing simply. 😂

[JKL845]

I like the ff. It doesn't ruin watching for me. They should show R & B still having struggles and drama with kids changing schools, houses etc. Beth starting a new business, Randall being an inexperienced politician. But I still like knowing they stay married and are still in love through it all. Tess, while sad about her grandmother, seems to be doing well for herself. Kevin is alive and a father. Nicky appears sober. It will interest me to see what happens with Deja, Annie, Kate, Miguel, and how Kevin got to this point in life. I don't think we will know who the mother of his child is until the final season and with so many possibilities I'll stop speculating on that but I'm going to enjoy everyone's journey. I like knowing Rebecca is still alive and getting hints of the future.

[MBayGal]

2 hours ago, JKL845 said:

..... how Kevin got to this point in life. I don't think we will know who the mother of his child is until the final season and with so many possibilities I'll stop speculating on that but I'm going to enjoy everyone's journey. I like knowing Rebecca is still alive and getting hints of the future.

I don't want it to be like How I Met Your Mother (which I didn't watch, just heard about) keeping us in suspense until the end about who Kevin’s baby mama is and other questions we now have after seeing the flash forwards.

[theatremouse]

On 4/4/2019 at 8:03 AM, General Days said:

A corn sandwich is not a thing.

That was insulting to the viewers and to the character of Jack. I've seen him manage to order pizza before,  when Rebecca hasn't been home. They weren't living on the streets, so I can't really believe that, if there wasn't even any peanut butter in the house, Jack didn't just take the kids to McDonalds on the way home from their first visit to Rebecca. 

I did not take the corn sandwich thing as implying Jack is incompetent at feeding his children. Sure he's ordered pizza before, and probably made PBJs before. When he said he used to eat those, I took that as something from his childhood. He has memories of being poor, and eating this dinner regularly. Because of those memories it seemed like a normal thing to him from way back when, so he decided to make it that night. Because he knew he could. He shrugged off the kids grimacing at it before he took a bite because he knew HE used to eat this all the time. And then he himself took a bite and realized that it wasn't good, and decided they should eat ice cream instead. Not because he's not smart enough to know that was a rubbish dish to begin with, but because when he ate it in the past he was probably hungry and so it was satisfying in those long-past moments because it was actual food. But now that he doesn't have to eat that, he can recognize how weak a meal it actually is.

This episode was frustrating for me because entirely outside of the issue of flash forwards, we have absolutely no sense of the passage of time. Previous one too. How long was that baby in the hospital? How long has it been now? I do think certain details of the previous episode strongly imply continuity issues with the timeline, which may be erased by this one clearly jumping forward at least a month if not more likely 2-3. So the question of Tess/Annie/Deja and the school year may be moot. What month did they pretend it was when Jack was born? Feb? So maybe the "present" by the end of this episode was May already? Who knows.

What do I actually know having watched this episode:

Beth's studio in the forward was definitely the one she looked at in present day Philly. So Beth was departing for the "Grandma's Dying Party" (I am assuming that's what that was til proven otherwise) from Philly.

Randall and Tess were departing from Essex County, NJ. If the Newark guesses are right, that's 80ish miles away from where Beth was. So I'm assuming together-Beth-and-Randall either still live in Philly in the future (and Randal picked up Tess just for moral support) or maybe they now live somewhere in between, making the meetup with Tess less completely out of the way.

Location of Kevin's house TBD. (I'm not counting anything a writer may or may not have said on Twitter or FB so please don't tell me that) The scenes didn't make it clear. Could've been LA, which makes sense for movie star Kevin, and would suggest Toby/Jack probably also live in LA still. And Rebecca had moved there after Jack was born, suggesting Randall's branch flew out. (and possibly Adult Deja and Annie no longer live in the same city as any of the rest of them, so either not coming or traveling totally separately) OR alternately, Kevin mysteriously lives on the east coast also, and maybe the Damons do, or don't, or really...I don't know why this show bothers ever specifying anyone's location ever because they're constantly moving -or driving three hours- or driving what should be three hours but acting like it ain't no thang.

This felt like a lot of filler to me. And other than Randall, I don't really think it makes sense to play the "Rebecca=amaaaazing mom" card from the rest of her children. That's totally unearned and felt super forced. Kate feeling inferior in general? Sure I get that. But specifically living up to her mother's example? Fuck no. It's not shocking to me he'd have his mother in his giant house on her deathbed but the parallel to when they were 12 in that flashback was forced as fuck. There better be a medical connection because if the entire point of that was emotional only this is nonsense.

[Katy M]

6 hours ago, theatremouse said:

How long was that baby in the hospital?

I would assume 2 weeks. He was born at 28 weeks and the doctor said 30 weeks developmentally.

[Scarlett45]

16 hours ago, Kirkydee said:

About Jack and those 'yummy' corn sandwiches.

"Fun and impulsive dad,' Jack would get a pizza or burgers.  Now with Rebecca hospitalized he is the defacto mom.  Mom cooks, not orders pizza.  Stay at home Rebecca probably has more in the pantry, but she WAS coming from the store. But I agree with other posters, toast the bread and serve corn on the side if those two items are THEE LAST items in the home.  I used to butter bread and add sugar, then toast it for a few minutes. 

About Kevin trying to influence Zoe over motherhood.  Thank you to all the posters who said women who choose to not have children shouldn't be viewed negatively or a 'what's wrong with HER' attitude.  Us men, we are sometimes trained to think women aren't complete without the 'joys' of motherhood.  The phrase " What if all women thought like you. We would cease to exist as a society"  is ignorant and belittling.  And yes I've heard it.  I'm sure many of you heard it.  

I've asked many female married coworkers "Any kids?  Why not? Is it something you want?" And I didnt mean any harm.  I believe i was programmed early in life what the supposed traditional roles of men and women are. So thanks for opening my eyes !

@Kirkydee thank you for being open minded enough to let your eyes be opened. I was oh so happy when Zoe proclaimed her childfree status (as a black woman, childfree role models on my screen are few and far between, and Zoe looks exactly like my cousin so it hit close to home) but I was NOT surprised when Kevin pulled the “change your mind” card. Given women are the ones that must be pregnant, give birth and have the primary responsibility of raising said children (legally and socially) AND have a much shorter reproductive lifespan than men do, if a woman says she doesn’t want children TRUST she has thought about it. 

Its amazing that it’s socially acceptable for girls to say they want to be Moms (one day) before they are self supporting or have found a partner (if they are going to raise the child with someone) but it’s NOT socially acceptable to say you don’t want children as a fully grown adult. I get less flack for being Childfree than most women because I’m unpartnered and look younger than my years so I’m not being badgered socially yet- but it can be exhausting. 

The corn sandwiches- I think if Rebecca had just been out for the evening (socializing or something) Jack would’ve done a better job with dinner (pizza or burgers/fries like people suggested); but I think her accident rattled JACK more than the kids. I think Jack would’ve been a mess mess mess mess if Rebecca had died first, with Randall and Kate having to pull him back from oblivion. The poor dinner was an example of him being shaken up by Rebecca being hurt. 

[Johnny Dollar]

Quote

If the car accident did lead to Rebecca's condition, don't tell Kate that this parent's bad result was also her fault.  After all, Rebecca bent down to rescue the peaches she had bought for her.  The peaches of doom.

Just like Kate ultimately contributed to her father's death. 

Wait a minute!  What if the dog of doom’s name was Peaches?  

[thecatmeows]

I loved the corn sandwiches - the idea made me chuckle and honestly sounded so Jack. Hey, I ate some weird stuff in college that I'm not proud to admit. Kevin's remark about being lucky to find their mom was cute too. 

[smartymarty]

My re-write:

Tess: I don't know what clothes to wear [because I'm gay].
Kevin: Wear whatever clothes you like. Gayness doesn't define you.

Kate: I don't think I'll ever be as good a mother as you.

Rebecca: Kate! Nobody knows everything at the beginning. You will learn as you go, just like I did.

Also, Randall did not "win," because he had to give up the house they got married at. Yes, for normal people (and Beth) that's not a sacrifice. But for Randall, it's wah-wah-wah. And what happened to giving Deja stability?

The writers apparently don't know that a few years ago, Pennsylvania Ballet (based in Philly) opened a dance school to train future dancers for its company. The students that Beth wants go there. It would have been better for Beth to get a job teaching at that school, except that of course she can't because she's been out of dance for so long.

Oh, and I think the real reason Kate was not in that final scene was TPTB's pragmatism. They can't have a future "Kate loses weight" story line if they'd showed her in the future still heavy.

Edited April 6, 2019 by smartymarty
ETA: regarding Kate.

[ams1001]

5 hours ago, Katy M said:

I would assume 2 weeks. He was born at 28 weeks and the doctor said 30 weeks developmentally.

I think there was a time jump of at least a couple months in there. There's no way a 28-week preemie is going home weeks later. I know two kids who were born at 30 weeks and they both went home around their actual due dates. (Also, R&B would take some time to get their moving plans sorted out, but they went from "we'll move to Philly" to packing in the next scene.)

1 hour ago, smartymarty said:

Oh, and I think the real reason Kate was not in that final scene was TPTB's pragmatism. They can't have a future "Kate loses weight" story line if they'd showed her in the future still heavy.

I don't know about that. As My 600-Pound Life points out in the opening credits, the long-term success rate for severely obese people is around 5%, so she could lose weight in the next few years and then believably have gained some or all of it back 15-20 years from now.

On a side note: As I'm writing this I have my youtube watch later playlist going in another window and Susan Kelechi Watson is on Seth Meyers. He asked about her dance background and she said in real life she "left ballet behind" at 14 because she didn't like it. Also, she mentioned her family in Jamaica and some of them are Team Randall.

 

Edited April 6, 2019 by ams1001
posted test comment because it wasn't letting me post my real comment

[Katy M]

2 minutes ago, ams1001 said:

I think there was a time jump of at least a couple months in there. There's no way a 28-week preemie is going home weeks later. I know two kids who were born at 30 weeks and they both went home around their actual due dates. (Also, R&B would take some time to get their moving plans sorted out, but they went from "we'll move to Philly" to packing in the next scene.)

My bad. I was talking about the beginning of the episode.  Confession: I didn't make it to the end.

[Blakeston]

17 hours ago, MBayGal said:

Really?  Because to me it looks like she has gained weight over the past year or two.  And if she hasn't lost signficant weight yet, I would be surprised if she could get down to a more appropriate size in the next few years.

I think she's lost a substantial amount of weight. This link shows before and after photos of her, comparing her season one weight with a more recent photo of her.

(There are other before/after photos of her showing an even bigger difference, but I suspect those "after" photos were taken more recently than when the season 3 finale was filmed.)

Regardless, she could easily gain or lose weight between now and then, so I understand why they wouldn't want to be tied to any particular weight for the character long-term. Especially if she loses more weight - it would be depressing to think she'd gain it back.

Re: the sandwiches - we've never been given the impression that Jack's family was so poor that they couldn't afford, say, peanut butter and jelly. I think that was supposed to be a "ha ha, when dads are on their own they just cook what they ate when they were bachelors, which is such garbage!" joke. Which is really, really tired humor.

[debraran]

53 minutes ago, Blakeston said:

I think she's lost a substantial amount of weight. This link shows before and after photos of her, comparing her season one weight with a more recent photo of her.

(There are other before/after photos of her showing an even bigger difference, but I suspect those "after" photos were taken more recently than when the season 3 finale was filmed.)

Regardless, she could easily gain or lose weight between now and then, so I understand why they wouldn't want to be tied to any particular weight for the character long-term. Especially if she loses more weight - it would be depressing to think she'd gain it back.

Re: the sandwiches - we've never been given the impression that Jack's family was so poor that they couldn't afford, say, peanut butter and jelly. I think that was supposed to be a "ha ha, when dads are on their own they just cook what they ate when they were bachelors, which is such garbage!" joke. Which is really, really tired humor.

I agree, the writers alluded to the weight issue also without saying it outright. Also why age Kevin now when you can think of it later. I don't need to see them older to enjoy the show.

At their age, I could make a P & J so there is no way I'd be eating that. lol  My dad was not a cook, 1950's type where my Mom did mostly everything, but when she was in the hospital for her gallbladder, somehow we survived without being dragged down there or eating corn on bread. 😊

I have lessened the enjoyment of some movies by googling too much before I watched, but I hope the writing is good enough to enjoy the ride of seeing Kevin struggle and Nicky knowing they end up okay. I would have preferred the mystery of it, but I am very glad Nicky is there. I don't think there is anything between him and Rebecca besides being her BIL but I'm glad he is in their lives and TIU got him to sign on.

Edited April 6, 2019 by debraran

[MJS]

1 hour ago, Blakeston said:

Re: the sandwiches - we've never been given the impression that Jack's family was so poor that they couldn't afford, say, peanut butter and jelly. I think that was supposed to be a "ha ha, when dads are on their own they just cook what they ate when they were bachelors, which is such garbage!" joke. Which is really, really tired humor.

Funny, I took those sandwiches as something he fondly remembered eating and wanting to do something fun with the kids. One bite in and he realizes memory doesn’t match up with reality. He seemed proud of the meal, not a desperate “dad doesn’t know how to cook” moment at all.

Proud until he took that bite, lol!

Edited April 6, 2019 by MJS

[ams1001]

22 minutes ago, MJS said:

Funny, I took those sandwiches as something he fondly remembered eating and wanting to do something fun with the kids. One bite in and he realizes memory doesn’t match up with reality. He seemed proud of the meal, not a desperate “dad doesn’t know how to cook” moment at all.

Proud until he took that bite, lol!

That's how I feel when I eat Spaghettios, or Chicken McNuggets. I was less annoyed by his dinner choice than by the fact that he couldn't let his injured wife rest for one night. I hope they didn't actually wake her up.

[MJS]

4 minutes ago, ams1001 said:

That's how I feel when I eat Spaghettios, or Chicken McNuggets. I was less annoyed by his dinner choice than by the fact that he couldn't let his injured wife rest for one night. I hope they didn't actually wake her up.

Truth. When they showed up at the hospital my reaction was, “he looks like an abuisve and controlling husband, saying they can’t survive without her at all and he needs to be near her at all times”. If this were a Lifetime movie or LO: SVU I’d be rooting for the nurse to call the cops...

[ShadowFacts]

2 hours ago, Blakeston said:

I think she's lost a substantial amount of weight. This link shows before and after photos of her, comparing her season one weight with a more recent photo of her.

(There are other before/after photos of her showing an even bigger difference, but I suspect those "after" photos were taken more recently than when the season 3 finale was filmed.)

Regardless, she could easily gain or lose weight between now and then, so I understand why they wouldn't want to be tied to any particular weight for the character long-term. Especially if she loses more weight - it would be depressing to think she'd gain it back.

Re: the sandwiches - we've never been given the impression that Jack's family was so poor that they couldn't afford, say, peanut butter and jelly. I think that was supposed to be a "ha ha, when dads are on their own they just cook what they ate when they were bachelors, which is such garbage!" joke. Which is really, really tired humor.

I think the second photo in that link is bogus.  The 2019 Critics Choice hasn't been held yet, and previous Critics Choice pictures show her at a heavier weight than that picture, in different clothes. I think that's Melissa McCarthy's body. Take a look at this year's Golden Globes photo and she looks the way she looks on TIU.  I don't think she's made much headway.  She still could in the next couple years, but I don't think the show can keep her out of flash forwards all the time if they are going to use that device much. 

Edited April 6, 2019 by ShadowFacts

[Ohiopirate02]

7 hours ago, MJS said:

Funny, I took those sandwiches as something he fondly remembered eating and wanting to do something fun with the kids. One bite in and he realizes memory doesn’t match up with reality. He seemed proud of the meal, not a desperate “dad doesn’t know how to cook” moment at all.

Proud until he took that bite, lol!

I agree.  My dad had a limited repertoire of dishes that he would make when I was a kid.  Usually when my mom was working in the evenings she would have dinner ready or he would take me and my older brother out.  I miss his pancakes and hashbrowns, but not the "garbage soup" where he would doctor up a prepackaged soup mix with whatever we had on hand.  His father would also make the same every Saturday from leftovers even though he went grocery shopping on Saturday.   I think the only person who likes that soup was my grandfather. 

[ItCouldBeWorse]

11 hours ago, ShadowFacts said:

I think the second photo in that link is bogus

It's very bad photoshop, from one of those clickbait sites. If she had lost that much weight, she'd be on the cover of every entertainment magazine. 

[sasha206]

On 4/3/2019 at 12:41 PM, TwoGrayTabbies said:

Do the writers have any conception of how hard it is to start a business?  Opening a dance studio would be a huge challenge.  It will require a properly equipped building rental/purchase and qualified instructors.  It’s a non-essential service probably already has a supply to meet the demand.  Not to mention that Beth is out of practice and this is a new city where she hasn’t built up a network.  Wouldn’t it make more sense for Beth to get an urban planning job and teach dance as a side hustle/hobby?

Do they even care?  How many "whims" have all the characters go on?  Rebecca trying to restart a singing career and then wham!  She goes on tour!  Randall and Beth just buy a tenement building!  He becomes a politician! It's all so ridiculous!

[sasha206]

On 4/5/2019 at 4:45 PM, Libby96 said:

Jack and the corn sandwiches and running the kids to see Rebecca in the middle of the night was ridiculous.  If I had to choose between a guy who does the Big Romantic Gesture and the guy who can do practical things (Like feed and care for his own dang children while I recuperate from a medical emergency), I will pick the practical guy every time.  

It's getting to the point that every time Milo is on the screen with his fake voice (sounds like he drops it down a register and sounds very unnatural to me) I want to punch him.  I will never understand how anyone finds this character endearing.

[debraran]

1 hour ago, sasha206 said:

It's getting to the point that every time Milo is on the screen with his fake voice (sounds like he drops it down a register and sounds very unnatural to me) I want to punch him.  I will never understand how anyone finds this character endearing.

I liked him for about 6 months and then as a wife and mother, I thought, "No he tells Rebecca what to do a lot and pretends he asked".  Whether it's asking her last minute to make another costume or go on a vacation (where she is still doing everything) or accept job changes or an apartment he picked out or so many things. He's jealous and wants his wife home, she never had any real friends they showed or alluded too and never had a job until he said she could help him in his new business. (not the same) Even bringing the kids down to the hospital as another post alluded too, gave me a very controlling feeling, not love.  But others filter it differently.

This article touches on some of the not so good things they do on the show. Randall's infinite finances are mentioned although they are finally talking about that now.

https://screenrant.com/this-is-us-things-wrong-fans-ignore/

[Katy M]

2 minutes ago, debraran said:

liked him for about 6 months and then as a wife and mother, I thought, "No he tells Rebecca what to do a lot and pretends he asked".  Whether it's asking her last minute to make another costume or go on a vacation (where she is still doing everything) or accept job changes or an apartment he picked out or so many things.

And more important stuff, also. I can forgive (actually not even mind at all) the occasional, hey we got a free cabin let's go.  But, he really pushed her into having kids.  And, we didn't see any conversation about adopting Randall, and I don't think it happened.  He openly undermined her every chance he got with Kate, which clearly did her no favors, and I'm not just talking about her weight.

[himela]

I think Kate was not in the future scene because she is supposed to lose some of the weight and therefore leave Toby because of that. I don't know why I have this impression, but it happens a lot that obese men or women lose much of the weight and then think they can do better and leave their spouse. I think this is what will happen with Toby and Kate. Toby seemed in bad shape.

[DrSparkles]

On 4/3/2019 at 9:51 AM, Maximona said:

It does for kids who are in or entering high school. And have a strong set of friends.

Deja will probably benefit being around kids who have something other than a suburban upbringing; Tess is ready to reinvent herself, and Annie is still young enough to relate primarily to her family.  So, I think this is a smart move for Randall & Beth.

Actually, you know, in my experience as an RN, the patients who do the best are almost always the ones that have a support team that are taking notes and asking questions for them.  When a medical catastrophe takes place, it is generally so overwhelming on a personal level that it is extremely hard for the person most directly involved to focus on what's being said to them by healthcare providers.  At my hospital, teaching like, This is what apnea means; this is what bradycardia means, is typically done by the primary nurse who doesn't have another bedside to scurry off to.  So questions like Rebecca's are welcomed and answered.

I laugh & laugh about the grabbing of pearls about kids moving/changing schools, both on tv & IRL. My dad was a 20-year Navy veteran. I went to EIGHT schools before I hit middle school/6th grade. These weren’t across-town moves either. We were scheduled for one last cross-country move when I was ~14 & my mom said hell naw. I was in HS, brother 3.5 years younger, & most significantly, my mom had moved way up in the hospital she worked at. So my dad commuted back & forth for 2 years IIRC. The thought that my dad would have considered my feelings about these moves for one microsecond... 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. No.

Anyway, the blockbuster comment made me lol & I floved Kevin’s ‘pieces’ talk w his neice.

[DrSparkles]

On 4/4/2019 at 2:54 PM, Nancybeth said:

My dad was military. We moved all the time, including in the middle of 7th grade and again right before I started high school. Did it suck? Yeah, kinda.  Did I survive and in fact thrive? Yes. Moving makes kids resilient and I'm sure they would rather relocate than have their parents divorce or have Randall constantly driving back and forth to Philly and missing all the little things in their lives. 

My post above more appropriately should have quoted Nancybeth. Sorry @Maximona.

Edited April 7, 2019 by DrSparkles

[Crs97]

A friend of mine was from a military family  and moved all the time.  Her dad was transferred to Germany right before her senior year of high school.  She found friends she could live with to finish her senior year at home, but her mom said absolutely not.

My dad needed to move for his job, and he ended up quitting and finding a new job rather than move us.  It was considered noteworthy at his work because he actually took his children’s feelings into account.

[memememe76]

Toby's mental state in the future is still in flux, but physically, he looks good. Even if Kate lost a lot of weight, how many hot 50 year old men would she be dating? Toby is physically quite appealing to a lot of women. 

Also, isn't that how his first wife left him--after she lost a lot of weight? 

[3 is enough]

Just rewatched this episode and I have one very nit-picky thing to add to the discussion: I love Deja’s grown-out hair but she needs to trim the bangs a bit! I was so distracted during her “speech” by the hair in her eyes!

[Kirkydee]

38 minutes ago, memememe76 said:

Toby's mental state in the future is still in flux, but physically, he looks good. Even if Kate lost a lot of weight, how many hot 50 year old men would she be dating? Toby is physically quite appealing to a lot of women. 

Also, isn't that how his first wife left him--after she lost a lot of weight? 

I thought Toby was average size along with his first wife, and when they broke up Toby started eating. I could be wrong.

Furthermore about Randall looking older than Beth in the future. I dont think he looks older.  I belive they made him pretty gray.  And gray can add a few years on the appearance factor.  I can see Beth dying her hair.  Not just for vanity reasons but for professional reasons. If she's running the company she wants to project a youthful persona for the dancers and their (relatively) young mothers.  If Randall is still in politics gray hair wont be a hindrance.  More of an assest.

[debraran]

7 hours ago, Kirkydee said:

I thought Toby was average size along with his first wife, and when they broke up Toby started eating. I could be wrong.

Furthermore about Randall looking older than Beth in the future. I dont think he looks older.  I belive they made him pretty gray.  And gray can add a few years on the appearance factor.  I can see Beth dying her hair.  Not just for vanity reasons but for professional reasons. If she's running the company she wants to project a youthful persona for the dancers and their (relatively) young mothers.  If Randall is still in politics gray hair wont be a hindrance.  More of an assest.

He put on a lot of weight and went into depressive state when Josie left him. He never really talked about his emotions or health with anyone then, his dad telling him to "buck up" when sad.  He was shown more controlling as an earlier character, tracking Kate down at her camp being jealous over the guy there, not taking no for an answer but they calmed him down a bit.

[GodsBeloved]

4 hours ago, debraran said:

He put on a lot of weight and went into depressive state when Josie left him. He never really talked about his emotions or health with anyone then, his dad telling him to "buck up" when sad.  He was shown more controlling as an earlier character, tracking Kate down at her camp being jealous over the guy there, not taking no for an answer but they calmed him down a bit.

I'd have to go back and watch to be sure but in season 1 we were told by Toby that his first wife treated him badly and after she left he gained weight.

In season 3 we have that flashback where Josie was leaving him because all he did was play video games (I think he was also in his depression) and he begged her to stay but she left.

I'm inclined to think Toby lied to Kate/fudged the truth in season 1 or the writers forgot what they wrote.

Edited April 8, 2019 by GodsBeloved

[Aloeonatable]

On 4/5/2019 at 2:08 PM, GodsBeloved said:

Say it! And that brings me to Beth’s aged makeup. The thing they did with the lines on each side of her mouth (present day Rebecca has them too) is awful looking. They didn’t need to do much if anything to future Beth, who is in her mid 50s.

Angela Bassett, Kimberly Elise, Holly Robinson Peete, Alfre Woodard, Elise Neal, Lela Rochon are just a few women in their 50s who don’t look it.

These are actresses who have the time and means to keep their youthful looks. Not everyone ages the same. I'm 70, and to me look every year of it, but others are shocked to learn how old I am. Sometimes it is how you act and dress that ages you. 

[Blakeston]

On 4/6/2019 at 4:02 PM, ShadowFacts said:

I think the second photo in that link is bogus.  The 2019 Critics Choice hasn't been held yet, and previous Critics Choice pictures show her at a heavier weight than that picture, in different clothes. I think that's Melissa McCarthy's body. Take a look at this year's Golden Globes photo and she looks the way she looks on TIU.  I don't think she's made much headway.  She still could in the next couple years, but I don't think the show can keep her out of flash forwards all the time if they are going to use that device much. 

The Critics Choice Awards were held in January of this year.

Even if you don't think the pic is real, check out this screencap of her from early in the series, and compare it to this screencap of her from season three. There's a major difference in the size of her face.

21 hours ago, debraran said:

This article touches on some of the not so good things they do on the show. Randall's infinite finances are mentioned although they are finally talking about that now.

https://screenrant.com/this-is-us-things-wrong-fans-ignore/

I agree with a lot of those criticisms, but I can't believe the author thought that Randall was running for office in Pittsburgh!

[luna1122]

That pic in the black pantsuit is definitely Melissa McCarthy, not Chrissy Metz.

[ShadowFacts]

1 hour ago, Blakeston said:

The Critics Choice Awards were held in January of this year.

I meant the People's Choice awards, as indicated in the background of the faked pic in the link, and in the pic of Melissa McCarthy. The last one was held in November 2018. She performed live last night at the ACM awards, you can check out youtube to judge for yourself any change from season 1, but I don't see much. She's beautiful and talented quite apart from her size. The only way I can see them having kept her out of the flash forward in this episode because they think she'll be substantially different in the future is if they have specific knowledge that she plans to undergo gastric bypass or something. Otherwise they're just hoping. Her weight doesn't seem to be holding her back much in her career, she's got a movie out and is singing on national TV. 

[Empress1]

On 4/7/2019 at 3:13 AM, ItCouldBeWorse said:

It's very bad photoshop, from one of those clickbait sites. If she had lost that much weight, she'd be on the cover of every entertainment magazine. 

For real, her head is so clearly on someone else's body. Even without seeing the Melissa McCarthy photo, I could tell in a second that wasn't Chrissy Metz's body. Very sloppy job.

16 hours ago, Kirkydee said:

I can see Beth dying her hair.  Not just for vanity reasons but for professional reasons. If she's running the company she wants to project a youthful persona for the dancers and their (relatively) young mothers. 

I think women covering gray hair is more common than not so Beth not having gray hair didn't jump out at me. The only time in the series that Rebecca has had gray hair was this episode; I assumed her character was coloring it in her 40s - 60s, when we've seen her.

[DebbieM4]

On 4/2/2019 at 10:47 PM, bybrandy said:

I thought Rebecca was really undermining Kate at the hospital.   Kate needs a chance to figure this stuff out.   Step back lady.  But I think I might be a party of one there.  I really, really, really did like Kate's moment with Rebecca and when she admitted all of her insecurities weren't going to magically go away so apologizing in the future but I wish Rebecca had said that she was kind of being super a lot at the hospital.

I thought so too.  I really wanted her to shut up and back off.  Taking notes is fine (I take notes all the time), but Kate is the mother of the baby, not Rebecca.  Rebecca should have been more tuned in to her own daughter - The look on Kate's face was pretty obvious, and yet Rebecca kept on babbling, not only when the doctor was there but also about finding a place to live.  She meant well, but she was completely oblivious to how Kate was feeling and responding at a very difficult time.  I would have been super-annoyed too.

I do like that they talked it out later.

On 4/3/2019 at 12:10 AM, watcher1006 said:

I think the flash forward was a mistake. Whatever one thinks of the futures of the characters that were shown, it robs the episodes to come of some of their intrigue or at least unnecessarily colors them for the viewer.

I'm not a fan of flash-forwards for exactly that reason.  Maybe quick little ones from time to time, but this one was much too much.  I don't need to see a show in present time, the past, AND the future.   It's fine to leave us wondering how they got from here to there, but I would really prefer that in small doses.

[DebbieM4]

On 4/3/2019 at 1:41 AM, happykitteh said:

The corn sandwiches scene was beyond stupid. Jack couldn't stop for burgers or pizza on the way home from the hospital? Don't they keep luncheon meat or cheese in the house? Or a few cans of soup? Or eggs? Cereal? I always assumed everyone with kids kept these staples around.

I think we were supposed to find that cute, but I hated all of it.  Why not order a pizza?  Or make something simple?  It drives me crazy when TV dads are depicted as bumbling fools who are incapable of doing even the most simple things.  He's always been depicted as being pretty hands-on, and it's not as though he suddenly woke up and had 3 children.  It's also not as though he was a single guy who had 3 kids dumped on him without warning.  Even in that case, order a damn pizza!  Or ask the kids what they like before making a stupid sandwich that seems like something a toddler would concoct.

And speaking of age, the kids were certainly old enough to put together some kind of dinner all by themselves.  They didn't have to rely on a father who all of a sudden had turned into Bumbling Old Dad.  It was all very unrealistic to me.

On 4/3/2019 at 2:24 AM, qtpye said:

No, I was dreading a Gift of the Magi moment.

Me too.  I was sure that was where they were going.

On 4/3/2019 at 7:38 AM, Dejana said:

. The kids were acting half their age, like 5-6 year olds rather tweens. 

I totally agree.  And Jack showed horrible parenting skills.  He completely fed into their fears about Rebecca rather than calmly explaining that she had a minor accident, needed to rest, and would be home the next day.   Showing up at the hospital in the middle of the night (all 4 of them), was the wrong thing to do.  Not only does the hospital have rules, but Rebecca needed to sleep, and it was inconsiderate to other patients.  All he taught those kids is that they're special, they get to have whatever they want, and rules don't apply to them.   They certainly were acting much younger than their age, and he treated them as though they were much younger too.   But whatever their age, "We need to let Mom rest" should have been the end of any conversation about seeing her right away,  Not only was that a better way to parent, it was also the truth.

I also really disliked it (and thanks for letting me vent!) when he was giving his long speech to the nurse and said something about the kids not being anything without their Mom.  I don't remember the exact words, but he said it right in front of the kids.  I worked in mental health for many years, and found that really disturbing.  

A lot of what we saw Jack do in this episode confirms the origin of the entitlement that lives on in Randall, Kevin, and Kate.  

Edited April 8, 2019 by DebbieM4

[kirkola]

On 4/7/2019 at 2:32 PM, debraran said:

I liked him for about 6 months and then as a wife and mother, I thought, "No he tells Rebecca what to do a lot and pretends he asked".  Whether it's asking her last minute to make another costume or go on a vacation (where she is still doing everything) or accept job changes or an apartment he picked out or so many things. He's jealous and wants his wife home, she never had any real friends they showed or alluded too and never had a job until he said she could help him in his new business. (not the same) Even bringing the kids down to the hospital as another post alluded too, gave me a very controlling feeling, not love.  But others filter it differently.

This article touches on some of the not so good things they do on the show. Randall's infinite finances are mentioned although they are finally talking about that now.

https://screenrant.com/this-is-us-things-wrong-fans-ignore/

I'm not sure I can love this comment more.  I am never sure if it's my natural dislike for Milo V. and the roles he chooses, or if his characters are just awful. 

On the other hand, much of the problems with Rebecca is the writers not giving us a sense of who she is beyond singer turned mother because of the love of one man.  It's played out as an epic star-crossed lovers route where the man is the hero and she is the prize.   Rebecca is only defined by her relationships with men and by extension, her kids.  And I know a part of that is the era she was raised in...but I want to see Rebecca be strong and independent, not a prop.

I loved the ep where Kevin is in therapy and he calls her out for stuff.  Because we at least get to see them expressing their problems, even if nothing gets resolved.

[DebbieM4]

On 4/3/2019 at 9:34 AM, bybrandy said:

  However,  I think Kate was in a place where she was ready to panic because Rebecca had her so on edge with all of her nitpiking and because Kate didn't get to ask the question she needed to process everything because question time was eaten up by Rebecca.   

 

That's how I saw it too.  Rebecca was too intrusive, and asking the doctor to wait until she grabbed her notepad, taking up Kate's time to ask her own questions, etc. showed a lot of insensitivity to Kate and the situation.  She should have quietly taken notes and let Kate have her time with the doctor.  It would have been far better to be a calming emotional support rather than darting around and putting herself front and center.   All that crazy energy wasn't helpful to Kate.

On 4/3/2019 at 10:20 AM, bybrandy said:

Do you work with kids in fostercare whose care givers are given a monthly stipend?   While it isn't a word I'd expect every teenager to know I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't common in the fostercare community where the per child stipend is a thing. 

Yes, kids in foster care very well may be quite familiar with the word "stipend".

On 4/3/2019 at 11:04 AM, JudyObscure said:

Same here.  It brought back a time when my mother-in-law was with me as a doctor was giving me some really devastating news about my son and she interrupted me as I was asking the doctor a question to correct the way I was pronouncing a word (actually my pronunciation was the preferred usage) but what stunned me and the doctor was that she thought that was important. 

My MIL was smack in the middle of my first  marriage from the first day right up until  our divorce ten years later, and every time I would voice a complaint about her interference, -- choosing where we lived, what apartment we lived in,  what doctors we went to, what jobs my husband had,  and every single aspect of child raising -- I would always hear the same defense, "She means well."  And she did, all the time she was keeping her son from growing up and our marriage from developing, she always meant well.

JudyObscure, I can so relate to this!  I had a very overly-involved MIL too.  She had a lot of love in her heart and was always well-intentioned, but she was never willing to step back and let us find our own way.  You articulated so well exactly how it was for me too.  I could write pages and pages about this, but will refrain.  🙂

On 4/3/2019 at 12:41 PM, Spencer Hastings said:

I don’t excuse Rebecca for much, but her behavior in the hospital can be forgiven. She’s an over processor and to cope she analyzes every little thing.  I get it.  We’ve seen that hospitals in general freak her out and we have seen her over analyze how chairs and outlets look in hospitals as a way to cope.  Her grandson is an extremely precarious situation, her daughter is a band new mother, AND she knows all too well what it’s like to go home without your baby.  She’s doing what she can to protect her own sanity while helping her new grandson. 

I can understand why Rebecca behaved the way she did.  And her motives were certainly good. 

But in that situation, she should have put her daughter's needs above her own.  Protecting Kate's sanity should have been a higher priority than protecting her own.  So I even more completely understand why Kate was annoyed, and IMO she had every right to be.  

It's forgivable, of course.  But I rarely side with Kate, and I was with her on this one.

[HollyGoLitely333]

1 hour ago, ShadowFacts said:

3 hours ago, Blakeston said:

I think she's lost a substantial amount of weight. This link shows before and after photos of her, comparing her season one weight with a more recent photo of her.

(There are other before/after photos of her showing an even bigger difference, but I suspect those "after" photos were taken more recently than when the season 3 finale was filmed.)

Regardless, she could easily gain or lose weight between now and then, so I understand why they wouldn't want to be tied to any particular weight for the character long-term. Especially if she loses more weight - it would be depressing to think she'd gain it back.

Re: the sandwiches - we've never been given the impression that Jack's family was so poor that they couldn't afford, say, peanut butter and jelly. I think that was supposed to be a "ha ha, when dads are on their own they just cook what they ate when they were bachelors, which is such garbage!" joke. Which is really, really tired humor.

Read more  

I think the second photo in that link is bogus. 

Holy yeah, that after photo is all kinds of doctored. The weight loss is definitely more subtle than this before/after but I follow Chrissy Metz on instagram and I've been noticing for several months her slimming down in her posts. 

[HollyGoLitely333]

On 4/6/2019 at 3:15 PM, MJS said:

Funny, I took those sandwiches as something he fondly remembered eating and wanting to do something fun with the kids. One bite in and he realizes memory doesn’t match up with reality. He seemed proud of the meal, not a desperate “dad doesn’t know how to cook” moment at all.

Proud until he took that bite, lol!

Totally! Maybe even "Rebecca would never let me feed this to these guys - now's my chance to show them my 'specialty'"...bite...whoa that is not how I remember them. Haha. We saw Jack have the kids order pizza at this age in a past episode - when he snuck off to see Nicky - so obviously he resorts to that sometimes. I think it was just a silly way of pivoting him to realizing he missed Rebecca more than he was letting on. 

Edited April 8, 2019 by HollyGoLitely333
punctuation

[bichonblitz]

On 4/3/2019 at 1:33 AM, happykitteh said:

This may be a crazy theory but I think the "her" everyone is gathered to see is Kate. Showing Rebecca in the bed was just to throw off the viewers.

Randall was standing at the foot of the bed and said "It's Randall. It's your son Randall". Then he turned to Nicky and said hello. I don't think it's Kate. Although something happened with her. I'm thinking she and Toby divorced. 

[DebbieM4]

On 4/4/2019 at 12:40 AM, athousandclowns said:

Thanks for saying that because I didn’t think there was anything wrong with note taking.  

I don't think anyone here has said there's anything wrong with note-taking.  I always take notes when I speak to doctors.  I have a little notebook that comes with me to appointments, and if I find myself in an emergency situation, I grab paper from wherever I can get it.

The problem with Rebecca, IMO, was that her note-taking was disruptive.  As were other things that she did.  In fact, if she had simply listened and taken notes, it would have been much better for everyone.

On 4/4/2019 at 10:14 AM, Katy M said:

Who is getting screwed?  They are moving one state over.  They may very well consider it an adventure.

Yes, they might see it that way and it may turn out to be that way.  But moving can be a big deal to kids no matter their age.  It's not just about staying in the same high school.  Younger kids have to make a lot of adjustments too.  They'll be leaving the only house they've ever known, their school, neighborhood, friends, and they'll have to start all over with the extra-curricular activities that they enjoyed (which may or may not be offered in their new location), etc.   And there's a BIG difference between Alpine, NJ and Philly.   Their day-to-day lives will be altered dramatically.

My best friend moved away when we were in elementary school, and it was devastating.  In retrospect, she didn't move that far away, but since neither of us drove, it might as well have been on the moon.  Of course now there's email, Facetime, social media, etc, but all of that is not the same as having a best friend right across the street.  Friendships are really important to kids.

This is not to say that the family shouldn't move.  I'm just surprised that there wasn't even a throwaway line about the kids when Randall & Beth decided to do it.  It was as though they didn't even have children.  I'm sure they feel the girls will adjust and that this is the best solution, but I wish it hadn't been glossed over so easily.