19 Things I Hate About You: How the Duggars Infuriate

[Ljohnson1987]

I'm sure there are many things about this crazy family get on our nerves. What are some of the big ones?

 

J'Chelle's baby voice. You're almost 50 years old. Talk like an adult. 

 

The awful gender roles. Boys can do whatever, but the girls can't? 

 

The baby obsession. 

[WhitneyWhit]

Oh Lord, where does one even begin?

 

How about the chaperone nonsense? How many times have they told us what great values their children have? And how they're pretty much better than the ungodly masses that populate this world? Yet they can't even leave the compound without their siblings tagging along like KGB agents.

 

And of course there's their hypocrisy. They preach modesty but I don't think any of them actually understands what they means, or they just choose to practice their own version of it, because these people are the opposite of modest. They live to draw attention to themselves, not to mention their unabashed vanity.

[Bella]

Wait, you mean the whole forum isn't on this topic? Just kidding - great idea.

 

Michelle is a bio-mom, and JimBoob is a bio-dad, but they delegate the child-rearing to their kids. Who does that??? I watched over my little brothers when my parents went out, but I didn't raise them, I just kept them from killing each other, running the fireplace in July, rearranging the plumbing, etc. Anyway, do Michelle and Boob even know their own kids? Do they even care about who they are as people? Grrrr.

[BitterApple]

Oh boy, I could right a dissertation on this one.

I hate the way they turn normal things like dancing, art, attraction and physical contact into something sinful and dirty. My mom used to take me to the ballet as a child. I certainly didn't have impure thoughts when I saw dancers in skin-tight costumes. The idea that I could defraud my brother by giving him a real hug makes me feel pervy.

BTW, great idea for a thread!

[MrMattyMatt]

The kids off-handedly calling other people "wierdos" - how Christian of them.  Little do they know that they, in fact, are the wierdos!

[bigskygirl]

The lack of respect for other cultures, JimBoob and Mullet telling their children they are allowed to have sex, kiss etc. etc, but their children cannot until they get married, Smuggar acting like he is a hard working lobbyist, Jessa and her smug attitude, the way Mullet talks down to people (reminds me of a few group home managers I use to work with when they were interacting with some of the developmentally disabled clients,) denying any of the kids might have serious behavior or learning disabilities, using Josie as a prop in their anti-abortion spiel, Smuggar and Anna acting like they were the ones who came up with saving the first kiss for the marriage ceremony, Anna's sister who is married to the fabulous David Waller (yes, I blame the Duggars for showing these two nitwits on the show)

 

I will probably have more things that drive me crazy about them later. *lol*

[PinkSprinkles]

Oh boy, I could right a dissertation on this one.

I hate the way they turn normal things like dancing, art, attraction and physical contact into something sinful and dirty. My mom used to take me to the ballet as a child. I certainly didn't have impure thoughts when I saw dancers in skin-tight costumes. The idea that I could defraud my brother by giving him a real hug makes me feel pervy.

BTW, great idea for a thread!

 

This x 1,000,000!!!! 

 

I always went to see The Nutcracker Ballet with my parents and absolutely loved it. There was nothing remotely sexual or dirty about it. I also remember absolutely loving the movie Fantasia growing up and loving all the beautiful artwork and music (Sorceror's Apprentice, Night on Bald Mountain, Ave Maria, ect.). I'm sure the Duggars would see the fish in the beginning of the movie as enticing and deem the movie unwatchable after that. 

 

The side-hugs are also a constant irritation to me. I'm not a very 'huggy' person per se, but if you are someone I truly adore and like I will give you a hug like no other!  For me, hugs are meant to convey comfort, love, and support. I have never received a hug from someone and thought they were trying to 'stir up desires that could not be righteously fulfilled'. For crying out loud, that would mean the little boys I used to babysit (all under the age of 4) were trying to lead me away to sin when they would give me a hug goodbye when their parents came home. The logic is stupid. 

 

Also, as mentioned above, I hate the chaperones. I'm all for group dating while in the teenage years (middle school to high school) because this is the time when you should be trying to figure out what you like in people and shouldn't feel pressured to commit to one person. However, group dating can be done without a parent around (if they want to pick up or drop off that's fine). However, once a person is dating someone exclusively, especially in their 20s, then the parents need to butt out and trust that their kids are smart enough to make good decisions. The "my kid is holier than your kid" game the Duggars play is absolutely abhorrent and could end disastrously if they don't let up and allow their kids some privacy. 

 

ETA: I also can't stand JB's pontificating. He about made me flip a table when he went on about how his kids won't get shingles because they have had chicken pox. That, and when he tried to explain why evolution wasn't real (despite the fact that you can be a Christian and still believe in it). 

The lack of respect for other cultures, JimBoob and Mullet telling their children they are allowed to have sex, kiss etc. etc, but their children cannot until they get married, Smuggar acting like he is a hard working lobbyist, Jessa and her smug attitude, the way Mullet talks down to people (reminds me of a few group home managers I use to work with when they were interacting with some of the developmentally disabled clients,) denying any of the kids might have serious behavior or learning disabilities, using Josie as a prop in their anti-abortion spiel, Smuggar and Anna acting like they were the ones who came up with saving the first kiss for the marriage ceremony, Anna's sister who is married to the fabulous David Waller (yes, I blame the Duggars for showing these two nitwits on the show)

 

I will probably have more things that drive me crazy about them later. *lol*

 

LOL. We should start a thread called "Other Things The Duggars are Responsible For...". The first post can be a picture of Smuggar!

Edited June 6, 2014 by PinkSprinkles

[GinnyLee]

I actually got annoyed when Jill was preaching to the young girls in the audience about not reading romance novels because it will stir up feelings of desire, sinful. I started reading romance novels at the age of 18 and I stayed a virgin until I was almost 30 so it kind of annoyed me.  Does she even know what 'feelings of desire' are?

[mbutterfly]

I'm sure there are many things about this crazy family get on our nerves. What are some of the big ones?

 

J'Chelle's baby voice. You're almost 50 years old. Talk like an adult. 

 

The awful gender roles. Boys can do whatever, but the girls can't? 

 

The baby obsession. 

What gets me with the baby voice is that several of the younger married women talk that way too. You can be sweet without that voice. If it were one person, I would believe it was a physical voice quality thing. But I believe they do it on purpose. Why, I wonder. Did Gothard gather women together and have them practice? Is it the voice of Gothard's mother? Because that could be the basis for a really scary novel. 

[margol29]

The thing that annoys me most is this homefooling crap. Just let your kids get an education for pitys sake! How are the kiddos (that's another one) going to be able to support themselves and a family in the real world? Smugger's job in DC is a joke. When that is over he will have to come home to daddy and get his car lot and house back.

 

I could go on and on but.................

 

Now let us pray.

Edited June 6, 2014 by margol29

[Hpmec]

I can't stand their aversion to showing affection. Side hugging among family members is ridiculous. And not allowing a dating couple to hold hands or kiss -- even a peck on the cheek -- is stupid. A dating couple, and especially an engaged couple, should have the freedom to set their own boundaries without the morals police passing judgment (I'm looking at you J'Chelle.)

[leighroda]

For me it's the overall attitude, and everything else just kinda feeds into that. How they "do everything a little different"... They may as well say "better" because that is the impression they give.

[Portia]

I understand wanting to raise your kids with conservative views toward premarital and extramarital sex, I really do--heck, I raised my own kids that way. But there are two specific things that just annoy me to no end. First, why can't they trust their single young adult children to make good moral choices for themselves based on the values with which they've been raised? It's downright insulting! Second, I don't see how anyone can in good conscience tell a healthy teen or young adult that all masturbation is a terrible sin, particularly if that young person is trying his or her best to keep save the sex act for marriage. It just seems like a recipe for really screwed-up view of the sexual impulse, which many of us think should be controlled, yes, but also enjoyed as a divine gift. But then, it's already been pointed out that puritannical "piety" is often just a thinly-disguised preoccupation with sex.

[BuddyMom]

Honestly what doesn't? But I just can't stop watching.

[Emme]

"Duggar Time." The excuse of "getting 19 kids out the door" is lame - most of them can get themselves out, and do it on fucking time.

Also annoying? The family gets all of these amazing opportunities to travel, and they don't do anything to take advantage. No time spent researching ahead of time, no immersing in local culture, they avoid new foods, JB stupidly says "Hola" and "Gracias," as if Spanish is EVERY foreign language.

[WhitneyWhit]

The family gets all of these amazing opportunities to travel, and they don't do anything to take advantage.

 

No kidding. I still think about their trip to Japan and what complete fools they made of themselves, especially at dinner. Sad things is, they don't even realize how ignorant they come across.

[MrMattyMatt]

No kidding. I still think about their trip to Japan and what complete fools they made of themselves, especially at dinner. Sad things is, they don't even realize how ignorant they come across.

That and the China episode where they went to the Great Wall twice and the rest of the time was devoted to the sudden birth of the TLC crew's baby.  Jana and Jill assisted while the rest of the clan sat in the hotel room and prayed.

[Libby96]

I think the whole courting thing being a way to "avoid giving away pieces of your heart" is just ridiculous. If someone is agreeing to see you with the intent of marrying you, there is no way that will be broken off without someone getting hurt.

The elevation of hugging and hand-holding as some kind of foreplay also bugs me. They are suppressing natural human affection that can occurs between friends, family members and even people who just are being supportive of each other.

I also think if some of these courting/engaged couple could have a few good kisses goodnight maybe they wouldn't hold hands in a way that borders on obscene.

And how can you be expected to marry someone you have never spent one moment alone with? You need to time talk in an uninhibited way and even maybe have a few fights and work through them.

I'll leave the suppression of all women's dreams except for motherhood and the shunning of birth control alone for now.

Edited June 7, 2014 by Libby96

[MarkySnark]

Now, now. We can't say the Duggars get nothing out of traveling. After all, as JimBoob pointed out to the kiddos, they DID see the place where King James wrote the Bible.

[Mrsjumbo]

All of the above.

I think the 2 things that bother me most are:

1. The girls rushing around packing while the boys are sitting around playing with scrabble tiles, because that's "woman's work".

2. The ridiculous courting rules . A woman in her 20's should have the privacy to talk, text, speak to her boyfriend. Along with this is going on dates by herself without sibling chaperones! And the "no-kissing, only side- hugs" rule...

[MrMattyMatt]

Here's another one - all the kids sharing boys/girls bedrooms and J'Chelle and Boob claiming it was the kid's idea.

[smittykins]

The fact that JB and Mullet got to experience a normal adolescence, with real school(although Christian in Boob's case) dating, kissing, holding hands, and for Jichelle, wearing pants and cheerleading, but won't allow their kids that.

[Chris Knight]

Oh my gosh, where do I start.

Raising children is physically hard work. Mullet does little physical work raising her kids. She shoves thst burden to the Fab4, girls who don't seem to realize how bad their lives are. If she was not willing to perform all the duties involved in raising kids, they should not have had them. Locking their door at night for private time, while the Fab4 deal with crying infants/toddlers, just selfish and disgusting.

This bs about modesty and not calling attn to yourself. Please.

Claiming to the world to be debt free, conveniently overlooking the handouts up the yingyang that they have recd over the years. They call them "love offering" from well-meaning members of their community, but they are handouts. And lets not forget the TLC jackpot. If TLC had not come along, these fools would still be sleeping stacked on top of each other, in that tiny rental.

[Almost 3000]

Anna hauling the luggage on her Honeymoon. Kinda says it all.

[leighroda]

I have never been a fan of the older girls raising the younger... But this is a new low. I just started reading "growing up duggar" (don't judge me I needed a non text book read)... And within the first chapter they reveal that Jana and Jill sleep in full sized beds with Jordyn and Josie, and the other girls sleep in twin size beds...so now they don't even get their own beds!? Who is going to sleep in Jill's bed after she gets married!?

[kitkat68]

I cannot even begin to imagine only getting side hugs from my parents. WTF

[Chris Knight]

I think its unhealthy for Jana & Jill to be bunking with Josie & Jordyn. Can't anyone get privacy and personal space

in that house ?

[WhitneyWhit]

Anna hauling the luggage on her Honeymoon. Kinda says it all.

 

And walking behind Smuggar, of course. Welcome to your life, Anna Duggar,

 

And within the first chapter they reveal that Jana and Jill sleep in full sized beds with Jordyn and Josie, and the other girls sleep in twin size beds...so now they don't even get their own beds!? Who is going to sleep in Jill's bed after she gets married!?

 

I've often wondered about the sleeping arrangements. Whenever they show their cell....err...bedroom...I always think that it looks like there's more people than beds, and now we know. How sad, Jana is a grown ass woman stuck sleeping with her younger sisters.

[Kathy]

When Josh and Anna went to D.C. to check out housing, Anna was hugely pregnant with Marcus and was pushing the stroller with both kids and holding bags on her arm.   Josh was holding nothing and walking way ahead of her.  What is up with that?   He couldnt push that heavy stroller with both kids or carry anything?   

 

Michelle's baby voice is very fake and annoying.

[Marigny]

I have never been a fan of the older girls raising the younger... But this is a new low. I just started reading "growing up duggar" (don't judge me I needed a non text book read)... And within the first chapter they reveal that Jana and Jill sleep in full sized beds with Jordyn and Josie, and the other girls sleep in twin size beds...so now they don't even get their own beds!? Who is going to sleep in Jill's bed after she gets married!?

By default, Jinger will probably move into Jill's full size and Jordyn will finally get her own bed. We all know that Princess Jessa isn't about to share a bed with one of the littles. That's too much like work. 

[Lillybee]

They way that they treat animals. Whatever happened to all the kittens on the Duggar compound?

[CarolMK]

In addition to what's already been mentioned, the Nike statement that they supposedly tell the boys if they're about to see a woman or young lady who isn't dressed "modestly". And also the fact that every female is supposed to not only have long hair, it has to be curled as well. Because Daddy and Gothard like it that way. Ugh. That long hair on Michelle isn't doing her any favors, the older she gets. Even if she has to wear it long, it would look so much better if it were worn straight instead of all those curls.

[Lillybee]

I know that this has its own thread but the food is so annoying and awful. Plus Michelle says that they ration grapes.

[BitterApple]

bigskygirl, oh no you didn't! You blame the Duggars for TFDW?! The closeted Fundie who twirled and pranced his way right into our hearts? The man who mud wrestled Joshie and gave us gems like "I kissed a girl on the LIPS!" I'm sentencing you to ten minutes of jazz hands and high kicks in honor of David's fabulosity!

[HeyNow]

I'll add: the use of disposable dinnerware.  I can't in any way understand the justification for that.

[Hpmec]

I can't stand Mullet's voiceover on the intro when she smugly proclaims that she "delivered every one" of her kids. I have one child I not only gave birth too but actually raised. Mullet is only interested in being pregnant and giving birth, not at all in being a parent.

I'm just hoping that at some point one of the kids will break free and write a tell all. Best seller material for sure.

[smittykins]

I think its unhealthy for Jana & Jill to be bunking with Josie & Jordyn. Can't anyone get privacy and personal space

in that house ?

In their view, privacy and personal space=near occasion of sin.

[roamyn]

I think Mullett's voice is abt the most annoying thing on earth.

But what also gets on my nerves are the way the kid's growth is stunted. Whike I think Jill is adorable lately, she sounds like a 14 yr old. Josiah & Johanna esp want to go to college. Josie has some major delays. JD & Jackson act way too young for their ages. And the girls (- Jessa) are stunted learning wifely chores.

[LazyToaster]

What is modest and/or humble about selling your family to a TV show? The whole point is to draw attention to yourself.

I swear one of these days one of these kids will rebel, bound to happen. The only reason they are doing the whole stupid courting thing is the kids allow it and are brainwashed to be that way. I'm waiting for the one that says NO!

[JessDVD]

So if I have this straight: side hugs are the only acceptable form of human contact.. but they share beds with each other? That's... one approach.

[mbutterfly]

In addition to what's already been mentioned, the Nike statement that they supposedly tell the boys if they're about to see a woman or young lady who isn't dressed "modestly". And also the fact that every female is supposed to not only have long hair, it has to be curled as well. Because Daddy and Gothard like it that way. Ugh. That long hair on Michelle isn't doing her any favors, the older she gets. Even if she has to wear it long, it would look so much better if it were worn straight instead of all those curls.

It was interesting to me when, commenting on the makeover episode, Michelle said about her hair, "But that's how I look when I get out of the shower, before I even do anything to my hair." And that is how her hair looked when they woke her up for Anna's mad dash to have a baby -- so it is pretty much true her hair looks pretty cute (to most eyes) when she just showers and brushes it out. What a shame! She could probably spend a little time with her children if she didn't have to put in all those curls. And she would look better. 

[surgeprotector]

I'm sure M'Celle hair will be her crowning glory, looking like Homeperm Cousin It for the wedding.

Which denim vest and skirt for the festivities...?

 The sparkly one or the embroidered one?

[BitterApple]

HeyNow, my blood pressure skyrockets when I see the Duggars using all that disposable dinnerware. I've never seen them use real dishes/flatware nor have I ever seen recycling bins outside their house. If they did it once in a blue moon, okay, but they use disposable for every single meal. It's so wasteful.

[MrMattyMatt]

They used to have plastic cups lined up with their names written on with masking tape.  I thought it was a bit unsanitary looking, but at least it wasn't more disposables.

 

J'chelle has said that Boob like her hair in the long curly style, but she may also be one of those that just can't find herself attractive in the mirror looking different.  I can recall back in the 80's several female friends of mine that simple could not let go of the teased sprayed bangs. 

[pieinmyeye]

HeyNow, my blood pressure skyrockets when I see the Duggars using all that disposable dinnerware. I've never seen them use real dishes/flatware nor have I ever seen recycling bins outside their house. If they did it once in a blue moon, okay, but they use disposable for every single meal. It's so wasteful.

That's what I was going to say. Make those boys load a dishwasher.

[mythoughtis]

The fact that they think they should control their adult children to the extent they do.  My youngest is 22, recently graduated from college and back home.  It's hard trying to treat him as an adult 24/7, but I certainly do better than the Duggars at it... because I try.  They don't even acknowledge adulthood in anyone but Josh, because to them it only occurs in a magical marriage ceremony.  Josh hasn't fully escaped, hence the monthly trips home, the various siblings that end up in his home 24/7, the constant having to bite his tongue at Duggar time, his Dad's treatment of Anna.  Yes, I AM referring to the 'holiday meal' fiasco.

Edited June 7, 2014 by mythoughtis

[McKay]

Michelle's claims that she's missing a muscle that keeps her from holding a child who is no longer a baby, but sure as hell can bowl, waterski, skydive and do anything else she wants to do.  The key word being "wants."

[leighroda]

On the note of the food, it is also said in the book (maybe I should make a separate thread for the book) that they do not eat junk food, or sodas, I'm fairly confidant they have a soda machine in the house (correct me if in wrong) and we see them eating candy/junk food 98% of the time. I get that we only see a portion of their day, or whatever, but for them to say the food is NEVER there, yet that is all we see... Cries foul to me.

[BitterApple]

auntl, I believe that's more of an urban legend. Some had questioned whether the Duggars pay taxes since they use their home as a church. Boob at one point stated they do pay regular income and propery taxes.

I just had another thought, isn't Jordyn Jessa's buddy? If so why is Jill forced to share a bed with her?

[BradandJanet]

As much as I hate Michelle's baby voice, her beady, empty eyes bother me more. Try watching her with the sound off. She looks like a coiled spring ready to explode. That said, the biggest issue I have with Mullet and her consort is that they don't educate their children. Millions of people around the world would love to send their children to school to have a better life but are too poor to make it happen. These fools, who are rolling in money, keep their kids slightly above literacy. 

 

I can't see how the family is legally a charity, but I suspect the home church and the parts of their home used for it (basement, industrial kitchen, heat and power, etc.) are solid tax write offs. I bet Jim Bob isn't too cheap to hire some good financial advisors.

 

Just read the previous post on this issue. Parts of a home used for certain purposes can be taxed differently. Also, honestly, just because JB and Michelle claim something, it isn't necessarily true. Just look at Michelle's parenting blog. 

Edited June 7, 2014 by BradandJanet