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S10.E01: Hollywood Calling!


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Which- did Damaris ever get on the network with a show?  I know they have her co-hosting the online thing I refuse to watch (my theory on tv is simple: if it's an important part of the show it should be aired), but have they validated this concept by, y'know, letting her cook on television?  Or are they fully about the game show piece only?

Yes, it's called Southern at Heart 

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(edited)

The recycling on this network continues. Lenny the cowboy was on Guy's Grocery Games last year.

thank you!!!  I knew I saw him before but couldn't remember if it was Chopped or Triple G.  Now I remember him on Triple G

Edited by tobysmom
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I liked that blue dress Giada was wearing during the first segment of the show.

 

If I had her body, I would never wear anything but that dress.

Why does every competition show have one somewhat attractive woman who thinks that she's the most beautiful thing that ever existed and that all the other women are jealous of her? Sarah is so phony - I can't wait till she forgets to be pageant girl and we get to see the bitch underneath.

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I've said it in previous seasons but I don't think these judges would make it through FNS

I think many of Food Network's actual 'stars' would've never had made it through FNS if they'd had to start off that way.

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(edited)
Ugh, I hate Ross the Intern.  He just bugs the hell out of me.

 

I had to look him up online. I was watching Chopped before the premiere and couldn't believe that was his real voice and not dubbed. 

 

I'm glad the "take comfort food and make it healthy" lady went home first. I say this as a fat chick, but to me that's not the way to encourage healthy eating.  Anyone who has been on a diet for 10 minutes can tell you that replacing this fatty, delicious product with that low-fat, pale imitation item doesn't make it good. I would love love love to see a healthy cooking show that shows how to cook other things that are healthy and tasty which was why I liked that Nikki Dinky girl. Having grown up eating meat, starch, canned vegetable I don't really have any idea how to make vegetables appealing. We'll never get that show though.

 

Cuban guy who lost a lot of weight reminded me of maybe 2 or 3 (or more) seasons ago Cuban guy who had lost a lot of weight and trying to make that his POV but the judges wanted his ethnic food to be his POV.  And then they forced the lose a lot of weight POV on Judson Allen in season 8 when he had something else entirely as his initial POV.

 

The sad part about the POV (which the judges commented on) is that in the long run, the one the contestants come with doesn't matter. The judges are going to foist a POV on them that they may or may not be able to articulate correctly anyway.

 

As much as I like Lenny (and oddly I do because I kind of feel like he's taking this as a big joke- I think it was the belt buckle thing), the last thing FNS needs is another "southern" chef. Which means Lenny will win because he's a "southern" chef.  

Edited by joanne3482
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Go away Sarah...Ugh she gave me such a headache already.  I'm hoping Christopher goes far.  He's easy on the eyes.   The cowboy bugs me.  I like the butcher girl.  She seemed down to earth.   I'm glad Donna went.  She bugged already.

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He couldn't even get Laissez les bontemps roulez right, so I wonder just how authentically New Orleansian he is.

 

Depends on your definition, I guess. By my own, I'd say "not very." He's a Philly guy who has worked in NOLA on and off for a few years. Here's a short bio on the web site of the NOLA place where he currently works: http://www.atchafalayarestaurant.com/about/

 

I have no doubt that he can cook (his current place gets really good reviews, and putting in 6 years at Emeril's flagship is nothing to scoff at) and I'm pulling for him, but he REALLY stumbled out of the gate here. Between what you mentioned, and making a "boudin ball" out of rice, pork loin and andouille (which I'm sure was tasty, it just was in no way a "boudin ball"... boudin balls are made out of boudin, a sausage, not andouille, which is a whole different kind of sausage) it was not at all a good first impression from an "authenticity" standpoint.

 

On the other hand, I suspect that nobody (judges included) has a single fuck to give about actual authenticity. Just the illusion of it. Furthermore, I'm not even sure anybody (judges included) even knew enough to have picked up on either of those faux pas in the first place.

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Of course I've never watch Justin either. 

 

Not too many people did.  He had that one special at midnight on a Sunday night, then POOF!

 

I wasn't sad to see Donna go.  As a low carber, the "healthy eating" contestant always grinds my gears.  And she was whacko in a not-fun way.

 

Rhinestone Cowboy can hit the trail any time now.  'Course, his food was good (shucks!)  And Tush found his POV just so interesting (dagmabit!)  So I guess they're fixin' to keep that pardner around for a spell.  Maybe I'll get lucky and he'll have an unfortunate lasso accident.

 

I do not understand the rules of a universe where Lenny is praised for being the real deal and Pageant Girl is dinged for putting on.  I really don't.

 

And I am the only person who believes that Nicole must be related to Mira Sorvino?

Edited by Aquarius
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I was completely baffled by Donna associating her bacon-endive-arugula bite with a BLT. No, it was bacon with greens. I see it all the time. It's called a "salad" with bacon bits. 

 

And she had the most awkward body language when she was making her pitch. You don't ::heaves shoulders and waves arms dramatically:: talk!!! like that ::roll head around and wave arms some more:: so why???? ::arms to the sky!:: would you PITCH ::go ahead and leap, Donna, we know you want to:: like that?

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Thanks for the info about Damaris, GaT!  I totally missed that show.

 

And she had the most awkward body language when she was making her pitch. You don't ::heaves shoulders and waves arms dramatically:: talk!!! like that ::roll head around and wave arms some more:: so why???? ::arms to the sky!:: would you PITCH ::go ahead and leap, Donna, we know you want to:: like that?

 

Laying it out this way makes me wish they'd work with an actual coach.  Y'know, the same ones that the "mentors" have worked with over the years to improve their natural abilities and define an on-camera persona.  I'd love to see them recorded, have someone point out the specifics about their body language like this, and see if they could improve.  Donna might have learned from that (might not, it's hard to control body language).

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Laying it out this way makes me wish they'd work with an actual coach.  Y'know, the same ones that the "mentors" have worked with over the years to improve their natural abilities and define an on-camera persona.  I'd love to see them recorded, have someone point out the specifics about their body language like this, and see if they could improve.  Donna might have learned from that (might not, it's hard to control body language).

Yes! Though I don't know if Food Network would want to peel back the curtain that much. It might destroy the sense of "authenticity". Much better to have "mentors" in the Tim Gunn and Tom Collichio style who aren't able to help much (even if they wanted to, looking at you Tom). This is one step down from The Voice where even then the judges meet with contestants a few days before they're going to perform and give them how many minutes of advice? Who the heck is that supposed to help? Remember old ANTM where they were teaching them to walk and monitoring their diets and exercise and weight? FNS, why do you think it's fun for me to keep watching people fail without much hope for improvement? Actually coach them.

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I think LBH blackballed Donna because there wasn't room in the whole Chelsea Market to hold two such impressive kitchen racks.  Considered Cowboy Pah yet, Lenny? "We want him around for a while, give him lobster".  Luca needed an armed guard to keep LBH, Medusa and the ET guest "star" all from jumping him, but he won't win.  Not to be overly cynical about what I'm presented with as a competition, but I think it can be assumed they've already signed the contracts with (and done the background checks on) the eventual "winner" and I'm split right now as to whether it's Model Nicole or GND Emma.  The boys are all cannon fodder/eye candy.

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If Luca corrects Giada's pronunciation, he automatically wins in my book.

I didn't know that pageant cowboys existed. I'd love to see the reaction to him from some actual cowboys!

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Finally got to watch! Little Big Head's head has grown & her teeth have somehow grown too, but she continues to be whittled away elsewhere. Her smile is so much more bearing her teeth than a smile.

When the contestants walked out through the doors on the "ohmygosh real back lot set in Hollywood" I felt like we were seeing a casting call. Over the top cowboy? Check. Annoying pageant chick? Check. Hot guy with accent? Check. Healthy/natural guru? Check. Etc. Oh look there's a quirky retro girl, bearded hipster, warm & caring larger gal, slightly older non-threateningly attractive dude. Be unique & authentic my sweet patootie! Fit the mold & spew the POV that'll sell.

I wanted to try the lobster bites, the grandmother's pound cake & probably the grilled cheese. Is Kermit going to be at the vagina table all year? I can't remember from part time around.

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Darn-post got eaten so I'll make it short.

Giada totally wants Luca

Ross is a cutie but he gained a lot of weight back.  However he does not want Luca because I saw him and his boyfriend on House Hunters and they are too cute for Ross to be cheating.

Donna bugged me so I'm glad she's gone.

Christopher can cook but he's too bland to stay.

I thought Loreal was saying she liked Chardonnay but I rewound and realized she was saying she liked sharp knives.  I suspect she likes both.

It's pretty clear who can cook and who can't. 

Laissez les wacko temps roulez!

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Giada is that rare phenomenon..an attractive woman with an unattractive smile. When she grinned at one point, my husband and I both simultaneously went "oooh," in a totally creeped out way..not really the effect one wants to have.

 

Is cowboy Lenny gay? That might add a new twist. He could call his show Brokeback Barbecue!

 

I always enjoy watching this show, as trainwrecky as it is. It always comes on at just the right time, when there is literally nothing else to watch.

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I think many of Food Network's actual 'stars' would've never had made it through FNS if they'd had to start off that way.

 

This is so true.  I don't give a darn about their personal story.  Talk to me about food.  And recipes.  And helpful hints.  And food glamour shots.  And make it real cooking -- not semihomemade.

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Well, with any luck for the Food Network, at least a couple of the TV-Attractive people will last until the final four.

 

In my opinion, the Food Network is running a little low on eye candy these days, so it would be a good thing if they can get something like Luca and Nicole down to the final four.  It would give them a chance to bring those two back as contributors to Unique Eats or to some of their other shows that feature a lot of "experts" stuffing their faces. I'd rather somebody interesting win this thing, but I think it wouldn't hurt to make sure some of the pretty ones hang around long enough to help out around the network when it's over.

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As much as I love this show, I've felt for a long time now that the Food Network needs more "stars" like it needs more game shows and like I need more holes in my head.  What they need are actual chefs who can teach me things that I don't already know.  Not to mention giving poor Justin Warner the show he was promised.  Something must have gone horribly awry behind the scenes there, which is a shame.

 

That said, I get sucked into this every year.  Lenny seems like he's a genuine person wearing a horrible, nausea-inducing costume for a persona.  Which means he'll probably go far, unfortunately.

 

Donna was whack-a-doodle but of the bottom three I wish she'd have stayed and they'd sent pageant girl packing.  After explaining how she non-pageanty she was, she proceeded to wave and blow kisses at the judges.  That'll show 'em!  Plus, just a personal pet peeve of mine, she was a very attractive lady, but I don't get why people tan to the orange hue like that.

 

There are enough contestants that don't bug for me to keep watching, but I know I'll still be sad about whatever forumlaic re-packaging of a tired concept they end up creating.

Edited by Earl Is Dead
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They really need to tone down the everything about Luca is gorgeous and perfect angle, I mean he isn't ugly but I don't think he or his accent is remarkably attractive either, certainly not more so than Christopher or Rueben.

 

I get everyone has a type and I'm sure plenty of people find Luca very attractive but they really need to stop beating us over the head with it, male model or movie star is not his backup career if the whole TV chef thing doesn't work out.

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Justin Warner did not want the show he was promised. Mr. Smarty Pants I know more than anyone else thought he was too good to do a 30 minutes how to cook show. So they finally gave him the one hour show and let it do it anyway he wanted, and it was a huge flop.

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I think there might also have been some conflict between Justin and Alton. It may have arisen from Justin's negative attitude towards the show he was offered - I don't really know. But being at odds with Alton Brown wouldn't help his career.

I did see Justin for a second at the end of some Guy competiton. That was the first time I'd seen him on Food Network in months.

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I did see Justin for a second at the end of some Guy competiton.

 

He was on Guy's Grocery Games and on Beat Bobby Flay.  So maybe Food Network is starting to warm to him (slightly). 

 

I wonder if we'll ever get the true story.

 

That's why I think this show is such a farce.  You crown a winner, and then do nothing with them.

 

But the show is such a snarkfest. 

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Wasn't there someone at TWOP who said that they actually sat next to Alton on an airplane and, to the extent that Alton would talk, learned that that relationship had fractured completely?

 

Justin should have done or said whatever he had to in order to stay on Alton's good side. Had he done so, he might have had a better experience after the show, at which point he might have needed Alton very little, if at all. Even if Alton was horrible to him, he should have worked on playing that better. We all end up with the psycho-boss-from-hell or some other such odious figure in our lives at some point, and my experience has been that it's best to get away ASAP. But the last letter in ASAP is "P" as in "possible." Where and how was Justin going to get another opportunity like this? Sometimes you just have to grit your teeth and smile for a time.

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That's why I think this show is such a farce.  You crown a winner, and then do nothing with them.

 

This show is about THIS SHOW. It is not about genuine Food Network business any more than The Apprentice was about finding an actual employee for one of Trump's businesses. It generates terrific ratings (as far as FN goes), and it should be viewed as an independent entity. Yes, the premise is to find a Food Network Star, but does Top Chef actually crown a "Top" chef? Does MasterChef crown an actual "Master" chef? Does Hells Kitchen actually put the winner in charge of a Gordon Ramsay kitchen?

 

No. No they don't. What they do is crown the winner of that show, which is exactly what this show does. Sometimes Top Chef crowns a winner who turns out to be a very highly respected chef outside of Bravo. Sometimes Hells Kitchen finds somebody who goes on to a good career. And in the case where the network actually gets a viable winner like Guy and a couple other ones after him, it is a total bonus for them. Not only do they get a decent personality, but it keeps up the (very high) value of THIS SHOW to the network.

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This show is about THIS SHOW. It is not about genuine Food Network business any more than The Apprentice was about finding an actual employee for one of Trump's businesses.

I think there is a difference in that this show actually does reward its winner with a show of his or her own, even if it is a short-running one*.  They also become part of the Food Network "brand" and appear in the magazine and on other FN shows.  What they then do with that fame seems to be dependant on the winner.  Most of them at least publish cookbooks, and then of course there's Guy who has gone on to have a brand of his own.

 

*Or, in the case of the aforementioned Mr. Warner, very, very short-running.

Edited by Earl Is Dead
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Justin Warner did not want the show he was promised. Mr. Smarty Pants I know more than anyone else thought he was too good to do a 30 minutes how to cook show. So they finally gave him the one hour show and let it do it anyway he wanted, and it was a huge flop.

 

Exactly.  I don't understand why FN keeps him around.  Surely, any contract he might have signed after his win would have expired by now.  Last season they gave him the job of writing commentaries after each episode of FNS.  He managed to make them all about him in one way or another.  This season he's doing the same so I read his first synopsis and it was like reading something a high school boy who fancies himself a hipster might write.  I can easily see why an ego like Justin's would not be a good fit with Alton who is also quite impressed with himself - but with far better reason.

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I think there is a difference in that this show actually does reward its winner with a show of his or her own, even if it is a short-running one*.  They also become part of the Food Network "brand" and appear in the magazine and on other FN shows.  What they then do with that fame seems to be dependant on the winner.  Most of them at least publish cookbooks, and then of course there's Guy who has gone on to have a brand of his own.

 

*Or, in the case of the aforementioned Mr. Warner, very, very short-running.

I think I am saying the same thing, only I don't see it as a difference. I see the reward show and the becoming part of the brand as extensions of this show. If it turns out the person can actually carry a show (like the Sandwich Guy appears to be doing pretty well), then it is a bonus for the Network. If the winner doesn't really work out (like Arti Party), then so be it. For as long as she was hanging around, she was helping promote the Food Network Star product.

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God help me, I like Lenny. When he stepped out of the SUV rockin' a faux Nudie suit and huge buckle I nearly died.

 

I like Loreal, too. The whole lady butcher thing is a different angle for Food Network, and her attitude and Bettie Page/Suicide Girls style would be pretty appealing if packaged correctly.

 

Christopher reminds me of Sean Patrick Flannery.

 

IMO, Luca on camera doesn't live up to how they all talk about him, but I have a feeling he's probably mega hot in person.

 

I still need time with the rest, I think.

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(edited)

I get sucked into this show every year even though I know it's not for real in any sense of the word.  I like whoever called it "my frivolous summer show".  Yeah, that just about nails it.  I spend the first several weeks trying to pick out the plants and ringers.  They're not even attempting to hide the contestants that resemble past contestants to the point that we can start listing them in tables, LOL.  Like there's always the ditzy, crazy blonde (in this case pageant girl), and somewhat weird, offbeat nutritionist, who upon using the word "healthy" gets the shriveled nose from LBH, and is soon shown the door.  PREDICTABLE....And yet, I suppose by now it's almost like tradition to me, and the show wouldn't be the same without it.  Cowboy dude is this year's pork pie hat guy.  Loud, annoying, fake, and probably going to stay around until the bitter end before he's sent packing.  And Luca, well, he's a new one - a take on Fabio from "Top Chef" or the Luca from "MasterChef".  I wish he really was the latter, because that Luca was quite nice and would do well with a show of his own, IMO.  Oh yeah, and I knew it wasn't just me - I remembered that other Cuban guy who lost weight from a former season.  Let's see how this one doesn't talk about losing weight enough and gets sent home for that.  And also the African American woman who comes off as "too rehearsed and controlled" and then gets sent home for that.  That's another repeat from past seasons.  Why not have more contestants who have a real chance of winning?  I already know which ones don't and why because it's just so much same old same old.  Oh well, like I say, it's almost tradition by now.  Can't take it seriously.

 

BTW, I like Loreal and I'm even going to make a very early prediction about her.  She's not a fake or a plant and might have a real chance of making it to the finale.

Edited by Intuition
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I get a stronge

 

God help me, I like Lenny. When he stepped out of the SUV rockin' a faux Nudie suit and huge buckle I nearly died.

 

I like Loreal, too. The whole lady butcher thing is a different angle for Food Network, and her attitude and Bettie Page/Suicide Girls style would be pretty appealing if packaged correctly.

True, but it's not a different angle for Food Reality shows overall.  Top Chef has had a Butcher Girl at one point, I think, and I know for a fact that Hell's Kitchen did (since that one, Mary, almost won).

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(edited)

And I am the only person who believes that Nicole must be related to Mira Sorvino?

I hope the show plays fair and she isn't some kind of stealth nightmare candidate, because I liked what I saw of her (and not just because she's eye candy).  She reminds me as you say, a bit of Mira Sorvino, but even more of Eden Grinshpan.

Edited by Kromm
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Cowboy may be this year's pie style guy but he hasn't reached the hateable level that Rodney did.

 

Give it time, it's early yet.  In the beginning even pie style wasn't as hateable as toward the end.

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Are Martie and Chad competing in the competition or competing to come back in the competition?  Does this mean Martie and Chad will have to beat each other (and others) to re-enter?   And at what point does that person re-enter?

 

I'm confused about this redemption competition.  Usually with other formats like this (Last Chance Kitchen) only the eliminated contestants compete against each other

My DVR picked up the first "webisode" of this, so FN must have aired it in the wee hours.  Martie, Chad, and Donna all had to compete for a chance to stay in, with only one being eliminated after the challenge, so it looks like it will be Last Chance Kitchen style.  Chad seemed pretty pissed at Damaris being a judge. 

 

Of course they didn't show who was voted out so that I can't tell you. I hope it was Donna.

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Ugh, the judges jumped right into talking about the "ethnic" contestants "embracing their heritage." How come brown people have to embrace their heritage, but white people can cook whatever the hell they want? We all have an ancestral heritage we could embrace. How come when a German/Irish contestant cooks something besides corned beef and streusel, they aren't being "inauthentic"?

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Ugh, the judges jumped right into talking about the "ethnic" contestants "embracing their heritage." How come brown people have to embrace their heritage, but white people can cook whatever the hell they want? We all have an ancestral heritage we could embrace. How come when a German/Irish contestant cooks something besides corned beef and streusel, they aren't being "inauthentic"?

 

I hate that! But there's other silliness about ethnicity. Heaven forbid you drift into Asian or some other non-European cuisine if you're white - what are you trying to prove?

 

I mentioned somewhere on PTV that my mom is 1/4 Crow Indian and 3/4 German. She cooks Italian almost exclusively (and quite well). I wonder if she'd get called out for that, since she's not Italian. Joe: "And what makes you think you can present to me, a pedigreed Italian asshole, something based on Italian cuisine?" At least Gordon and Graham would keep an open mind on that one.

 

I wonder what they would have done with a young and unproven Marcus Samuelsson?

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Cowboy may be this year's pie style guy but he hasn't reached the hateable level that Rodney did.
Give it time, it's early yet.  In the beginning even pie style wasn't as hateable as toward the end.

 

 

I think it will depend on whether or not the cowboy can actually cook. Even when he was making a pie, Rodney's dishes sucked. People will live with a gimmick if there's something actually backing it up.

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I finally saw this episode and can only say that Donna was annoying from the minute she walked in until she left.  What is the world was she thinking with all those arm gestures?  I'm OK with Lenny so far and don't find him as obnoxious as the Pie Guy, but time will tell.  It's so early I'm not sure I have everybody sorted out.  One thing I thought was really odd.  Suzy vanished after the Red Carpet.  Did she have to rush out and couldn't even stick around for the table talk?  I guess so.  

 

 

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I don't think these judges would make it through FNS. They have all come across as unlikable at one point or another. I think Bobby is the worst. He's like a charisma vacuum.

 

Bobby Flay  - who, I must acknowledge, I absolutely love - has acknowledged many times that he would not have survived/won a competition like this when he was starting out at FN. He also, a season or two ago, defended another mentor's protege (I think it was one of Alton's) by saying her on-camera presentation was far better than anything he did early on, 

 

Sarah should, by every quality displayed, be on my "Hate her and want her off my screen" list, yet I find myself weirdly charmed by her. I'm also annoyed by 'The Network' and its hypocrisy in going 'ewwww, Pageant Girl, how awful!' when, IMHO Melissa D'Arabian was a complete Pageant Girl and they awarded her the win for her season.I thought Donna would be gone quickly, due to the very appearance of the word 'healthy' anywhere in her presentation. It's sad, because they keep saying they need someone like that, but whenever 'someone like that' shows up, they're swept off the scene before you even get to know them. 

 

I think Lenny, the Gourmet Cowboy, is really annoying. How much is schtick and how much is real, I do not know. Nor, at this point, do I care.

 

So far I at least like everyone else, though some of these contestants will need to calm down, tone it down, kick it up or do something to hone their on screen presence if they want to last (except for Luca - he was actually pretty darn good,  but even if he wasn't, Giada would fight for him come hell or high water!)

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Nicki from last season had the "Meat on the Side" POV, and made it into the top 5.  However, she was a food blogger, had a lot of cooking skill, great recipes and was comfortable in front of the camera. 

 

I think they'd go for a "Healthy" chef, as long as they didn't need too much grooming and they didn't have to correct a lot of bad habits, both in the kitchen and in front of the camera. 

 

My biggest criteria is could I stand to LISTEN to that person for 26 minutes.  Like many, I do other things while I "watch" foodievision, so if I can simply listen to them and still want to cook their food, they've got me.  Seing what it looks like is a bonus.  

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When Loreal (I guess she's worth it!) started the parade into the backlot, with each stereotype following in short succession, I knew they had hit Central Casting.  And the retreads of previous contestant stereotypes.  Pah guy is now gourmet cowboy, Cuban former fat guy is now Cuban former fat guy, wacko nutritional lady is now wacko nutritional lady.  I know it's not a real competition in that they don't care who wins, but just once I'd like to see someone who cooks, who can teach how to cook, and who performs some actual cooking.  I don't care what their ethnicity is, their life experience, none of it.  I don't care about them as a person, Kermit and Medusa, when will you get that???  And the thing with anyone's cooking is that we will never taste what they make.  So as long as they can teach it, it doesn't really matter if they are any good at it.

 

I found myself actually starting to count LBH's teeth, especially when Luca was on the podium.  I lost count at 92.

 

I was really hoping for a double elimination of Sarah and Donna. 

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