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ModernWhimsy

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  1. ModernWhimsy

    S10.E04: Internet Marketing Video

    Aryen/orion/Arian/oryain/arayan could never be a star. Her name is too...Oneders. /That Thing You Do reference UncleB- that was funnier than the whole season I still don't know their names...not sure if this is a Me Problem or a Them Problem. I was pretty irritated last night post episode but now I've settled back into pleasant annoyance! I mean, it can't get worse than yesterday amirite?
  2. ModernWhimsy

    S10.E04: Internet Marketing Video

    They had the boot already picked too. There is no way that the only memorable video was the boot team in the fake viral video challenge.
  3. ModernWhimsy

    S10.E04: Internet Marketing Video

    We made it through Pah Stahl's season with less head scratching and less venom. AS IF it couldn't get worse....
  4. ModernWhimsy

    S10.E04: Internet Marketing Video

    Did Alton utter "cray cray?" This whole episode was awkward sauteed in pathetic marinated in cringeworthy served with a side of whatdafaaack?? Why were the words "viral video" even uttered on this network? They can barely talk and cook.... they have no need, background, desire or ability to craft a viral video. Stupid hand held cameras. Stupid fakey fake energy. Stupid candy bars. Gah. FU Food Network!!!!!!
  5. ModernWhimsy

    S12.E15: 7 Chefs Compete

    Why did Rochelle puke? Lame fake reporters, lame calender, lame judges. I wish I could see season 1 again...was it always this fake and I just never realized it? I really enjoy all types of cooking related competition shows but this show is almost just a reality show cast on a restaurant set. Rock looked good. Don't remember the other dude.
  6. ModernWhimsy

    S10.E03: Cutthroat Food Star

    This may sound like a challenge but why exactly is it a requirement that a FN host be able to think on their feet or be adaptable? They make it seem like FN is live or on a really short delay like a shopping channel host taking live calls. FN is scripted and edited! This episode was rather bland, much like ariagjyian's food. /snicker Kenny's breakfast to go sounded great....why did he muddle it with so many ingredients??? He was annoying but not nearly as much as the blonde girl with all of the talking heads. She is screamy.
  7. ModernWhimsy

    S10.E02: Please Try This At Home

    Someone's talking head mentioned how butcher girl had that retro or quirky thing going on that people liked....isn't this a broad assumption? Retro rad version 2.0 and homage to the offshoots.....they have tried to sell this over and over but no one is buying it. Taking classics and making them modern.....blah blah blah With A Twist! I'm just so over the forced POV. Can you see the current lineup on FNS?!! Giada - empty and cold toothy delivery. Unfriendly TV face. TV friendly body. Bobby- grimaces a lot. Cold and stern and bored. Borders on abrasive. Alton - king of abrasive. Aloof, condescending and dismissive.
  8. ModernWhimsy

    S10.E02: Please Try This At Home

    I agree FN needs some more asian representation but I can't pull for Kenny. I can't even vouch for his asian-ness because a typical decent asian home cook knows their way around the various uses of corn starch in asian cuisine. Baffling. Bye Luca! The objectification was amusing since it's a staple of all reality shows. Big boobs, blonde hair, white teeth, big muscles, ripped abs...women and men don't really escape it either way. I'm pretty sure people who are cast in the object role....know it. If Aryen went back in line and thanked Lenny for helping her out, would FN show it?
  9. ModernWhimsy

    The Challengers: Winners & Losers

    Is this the show thread? Dessert luau was interesting....Faulkner is always the bridesmaid though.
  10. ModernWhimsy

    S10.E01: Hollywood Calling!

    Anything chat worthy stays Hyechaps! The vagina table will never be replaced. Unless it's a younger, newer, smaller...table.
  11. ModernWhimsy

    S10.E01: Hollywood Calling!

    That whole "date night buddy" thing was so awkward and her parroting "thank you for coming".... Truly lolzworthy. Why don't they find the next Bobby Flay? I want him to see his 2.0 self and say "wow. This dude is kind of a dickhole. He knows his way around mexican food but man, he scowls and sounds like an epic blowhard."
  12. ModernWhimsy

    Cutthroat Kitchen

    Geoffrey is such a pompous wanker asshole.
  13. ModernWhimsy

    All Episodes Talk: I'm Listening

    Wasn't that the point of that episode though SSG? He calls lilith for validation...then pretty much asks everyone else their opinion on the way back (including that dude who cleaned the plane?). He was really conflicted over his creeping feelings for Lana despite being perfectly matched with Claire. Episodes that followed were boring analysis of why he kept running from his real relationships IMO.
  14. ModernWhimsy

    S10.E01: Hollywood Calling!

    I'm glad I'm not the only person puzzled and annoyed that these contestants seem baffled at the 30 second explain yourself bit, cooking stufffffs for groups, the upcoming sabotage challenge.... I mean seriously people. Every. Freaking. Season. And i guess before they loved the professional newscaster preparation but now it sounds too scripted and prepared. So now you have to sound "real" but "authentic".... So kinda....fakey real. Cue eye roll. Why does the Food Network keep trying to cram caricatures down our throats? It's like I have to be taught by a cowboy? Why??? That belt buckle was kind of epic awesome though. Big Head eating that endive appetizer using her teeth but not her lips? FRIGHT. I knew I saw that cutthroat kitchen guy looked familiar! Donna- they should have kept that babbling trainwreck. She was hilariously scattered. "Donna BLT" indeed. And holy cleavage. Of course his name was Luca. I'm surprised he wasn't wearing linen pants. Will he fizzle? Pink bandana was not a great choice for Malibu notapageantgirl Barbie. And mushroom soup? Really???? They were less than impressed with asian dude's tartare but the brunette chick crusts tuna with sesame seeds and is a genius? Riiiiight.
  15. I think they should self snark and do an episode where each chef says "i want the money to blow on something stupid." And no one has a back story...they applied, have no maladies, are offering no backstory of redemption....they just want to see the damn basket.
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