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Kalani & Asuelu: Cheeto Dust and Slut People


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So I take it Asuelu isn’t from American Samoa, if so he’d already be a National  and wouldn’t need a K-1 visa. I do want to see him interact with her family and the baby. 

Edited by Scarlett45
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11 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

So I take it Asuelu isn’t from American Samoa, if so he’d already be a citizen and wouldn’t need a K-1 visa. I do want to see him interact with her family and the baby. 

From Wikipedia:

According to the Immigration and Nationality Act (INA), the people born in American Samoa – including those born on Swains Island – are "nationals but not citizens of the United States at birth."

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3 hours ago, Dance4Life said:

I don’t like this couple.  The Dad is NOT a racist.

 

The Dad did not want his daughter with a village man.  This guy truly is a village guy. This just means a man who lives simple life and doesn’t aspire for more.....especially 1st world country ‘more.’   Will keep his woman barefoot and pregnant.  Then go out and still sleep with other women.

 

Yes, he is charming and funny (his airport footage is hilarious) but it also screams immaturity and insecurity. 

 

A guy that will take a girls virginity, get her pregnant, not provide any financial help and STILL cheat on her.

 

The Dad came from ‘this same village culture’ and warned her about this male mentality.

 

The daughter didn’t listen and now look at her.  Moving into an Air BnB with her baby son.

The Dad also wants to protect his daughter. The guy won’t be coming to the USA to take advantage of his daughter.  Man to man.....if he disrespects her or grandson again.  

Wow!  Don’t we all want a Daddy like this?

 

Who is right?  The Dad or the daughter?

I agree with everything here. Osuelu seems very immature. I doubt that this will last beyond 3 years. This should be a warning about the dangers of vacation sex. 

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@

5 hours ago, Dance4Life said:

I don’t like this couple.  The Dad is NOT a racist.

 

The Dad did not want his daughter with a village man.  This guy truly is a village guy. This just means a man who lives simple life and doesn’t aspire for more.....especially 1st world country ‘more.’   Will keep his woman barefoot and pregnant.  Then go out and still sleep with other women.

 

Yes, he is charming and funny (his airport footage is hilarious) but it also screams immaturity and insecurity. 

 

A guy that will take a girls virginity, get her pregnant, not provide any financial help and STILL cheat on her.

 

The Dad came from ‘this same village culture’ and warned her about this male mentality.

 

The daughter didn’t listen and now look at her.  Moving into an Air BnB with her baby son.

The Dad also wants to protect his daughter. The guy won’t be coming to the USA to take advantage of his daughter.  Man to man.....if he disrespects her or grandson again.  

Wow!  Don’t we all want a Daddy like this?

 

Who is right?  The Dad or the daughter?

Spot on. 

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On 10/21/2018 at 2:39 PM, PityFree said:

DED22BB5-F7EB-461B-94C9-784124926F82.jpeg

I am feeling her on the wrap around dresses/shirts/whatever that you have to pin so you're not showing your chest. I love the wrap look, but it can be tricky.

This dude looks WAY better with his shirt off. 

Her dad needed some serious beard balm. I appreciate the beard braid, but the rest was just messy.

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On 10/21/2018 at 4:39 PM, PityFree said:

DED22BB5-F7EB-461B-94C9-784124926F82.jpeg

So regarding the comparison to Tracy Ellis Ross I most certainly see it here. The face shape and features are similar (yes Kalani is heavier but the general face shape is the same). If you took away some weight from Kalani, colored her skin three hues deeper and curled her hair you’d have a twin situation. 

Both are beautiful women, it’s not an insult to Tracey IMO and it’s a complement to Kalani. 

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I think Kalani is the most beautiful American to have appeared on this show. Her makeup is flawless and she knows how to dress for her gorgeous figure. I also appreciated her foul mouth and bluntness- I'd totally be friends with her!

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Kalani is now complaining to the media that TLC made her sound bad when she talked about dating "white men" because they spliced up what she was saying. Uh, but she did say it. She also talked about dating "gingers and Jews" which didn't set so well with me either.

Maybe she talked about getting married in a "white" dress to a "man" and TLC spliced it up somehow? 

yeah, right..

23 hours ago, pollywood said:

kalani's dad wanted his daughters to only date white americans so yeah, racist.

That bothered me because if he's not white and they've got his blood running through their veins he's saying don't go for someone who is like yourself. It's just wretched! Maybe if she said dad wanted us to go for faithful men, or men who were good providers., etc. But she tied it in with skin color.

Also, I'm not sure if he really cheated on her when they were "broken up." Maybe she's just editing the story now because she wants them to get along? Hard to know what to believe from her at this point. I get why the sister was upset.

Edited by CoachWristletJen
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7 hours ago, CoachWristletJen said:

Kalani is now complaining to the media that TLC made her sound bad when she talked about dating "white men" because they spliced up what she was saying. Uh, but she did say it. She also talked about dating "gingers and Jews" which didn't set so well with me either.

Maybe she talked about getting married in a "white" dress to a "man" and TLC spliced it up somehow? 

yeah, right..

That bothered me because if he's not white and they've got his blood running through their veins he's saying don't go for someone who is like yourself. It's just wretched! Maybe if she said dad wanted us to go for faithful men, or men who were good providers., etc. But she tied it in with skin color.

Also, I'm not sure if he really cheated on her when they were "broken up." Maybe she's just editing the story now because she wants them to get along? Hard to know what to believe from her at this point. I get why the sister was upset.

I am guessing that the dad wanted her with a white man as opposed to a Samoan/Polynesian man purely from the cultural differences, perhaps he didnt like the behavior he saw from men of his own culture and wanted different for his daughter. When Kalani talked about her past dating preferences, she said she used to prefer "gingers and Jewish men" - that is just a dating preference and not something that can be helped, like if someone said they love Latin men or Polynesian men. In todays age a lot of people try to make everything so PC  ... in my opinion I do not like Asuelo because he seems like a child, he is too immature for her, he does not appear to have ever provided any financial support to his baby (regardless if she needs it or not) and from the previews he seems nowhere near  ready to help take care of it. In other words, Kalani has a lot of work on her hands to teach him everything. 

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8 hours ago, CoachWristletJen said:

Kalani is now complaining to the media that TLC made her sound bad when she talked about dating "white men" because they spliced up what she was saying. Uh, but she did say it. She also talked about dating "gingers and Jews" which didn't set so well with me either.

Maybe she talked about getting married in a "white" dress to a "man" and TLC spliced it up somehow? 

yeah, right..

That bothered me because if he's not white and they've got his blood running through their veins he's saying don't go for someone who is like yourself. It's just wretched! Maybe if she said dad wanted us to go for faithful men, or men who were good providers., etc. But she tied it in with skin color.

Also, I'm not sure if he really cheated on her when they were "broken up." Maybe she's just editing the story now because she wants them to get along? Hard to know what to believe from her at this point. I get why the sister was upset.

I agree. I hope Kalani and Asuelu make it to their Diamond Anniversary for her dad's comment alone. I'm a minority too, and her dad's attitude disgusted me. I'm hoping it WAS spliced, but sadly I've seen that type of attitude before.

The sister may have been right to be upset, but she (and the entire family) really grate. Her attitude was so self-righteous. As I said in the main episode thread, if you have doubts about your loved one's SO, say your piece once and then drop it. It's not your life or your decision, and having a bad attitude about it only hurts the person you're concerned for.

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2 hours ago, Lily247 said:

I am guessing that the dad wanted her with a white man as opposed to a Samoan/Polynesian man purely from the cultural differences, perhaps he didnt like the behavior he saw from men of his own culture and wanted different for his daughter. When Kalani talked about her past dating preferences, she said she used to prefer "gingers and Jewish men" - that is just a dating preference and not something that can be helped, like if someone said they love Latin men or Polynesian men. In todays age a lot of people try to make everything so PC  ... in my opinion I do not like Asuelo because he seems like a child, he is too immature for her, he does not appear to have ever provided any financial support to his baby (regardless if she needs it or not) and from the previews he seems nowhere near  ready to help take care of it. In other words, Kalani has a lot of work on her hands to teach him everything. 

I can see that. 

Also I’ve noticed many people use “white” as a stand in for “western” or “American” (which is a problem in and of itself- not all western/American people are white but still). I believe Kalani’s Dad loves his daughter, and wants the best for her. 

 

Asuelu DOES seem like a man child. I want to see more of him on Sunday. Is he just goofy or an immature brat? Has he been sending Kalani money for baby expenses?

Edited by Scarlett45
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On 10/22/2018 at 2:55 PM, Dance4Life said:

I don’t like this couple.  The Dad is NOT a racist.

 

The Dad did not want his daughter with a village man.  This guy truly is a village guy. This just means a man who lives simple life and doesn’t aspire for more.....especially 1st world country ‘more.’   Will keep his woman barefoot and pregnant.  Then go out and still sleep with other women.

 

Yes, he is charming and funny (his airport footage is hilarious) but it also screams immaturity and insecurity. 

 

A guy that will take a girls virginity, get her pregnant, not provide any financial help and STILL cheat on her.

 

The Dad came from ‘this same village culture’ and warned her about this male mentality.

 

The daughter didn’t listen and now look at her.  Moving into an Air BnB with her baby son.

The Dad also wants to protect his daughter. The guy won’t be coming to the USA to take advantage of his daughter.  Man to man.....if he disrespects her or grandson again.  

Wow!  Don’t we all want a Daddy like this?

 

Who is right?  The Dad or the daughter?

They all seem like morons to me.

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The guy could be a racist - I don't have enough info to form an opinion as of yet.  I was a little iffy on her "gingers and Jews" comment, so I am watching her to see if she lets any more slip.

After this week's ep, I see some of what the dad was likely thinking.  Asuelu is very out of his element in the US.  I don't see that he has any marketable skills that would help him gain much of any employment here.  I'm not sure how he's going to do much to support his child and soon to be wife.  Out of any of the couples, I see them struggling the most.  And with him not having much of any type of skill (and I'm not sure how much education he has), and seeming to be very naïve about life and whatnot here in the US, I'm not sure how that bodes for his mental status, etc.  When my husband was out of work long-time and saw me picking up extra hours, borrowing money, etc, it was a huge blow to his ego.

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12 minutes ago, Drogo said:

Lots of folks come here and are out of their element, until they find their niche.  Those people typically have a support system until such point.  I think K&A's real problem will be her expectations for him to exceed her father's expectations; it really didn't sit well with me how embarrassed she was at the airport when he did his special reunion dance for her.   

If he was dancing in a skirt yesterday in Samoa he'll probably be dancing in a skirt today in the States, Kalani.  You don't buy shrimp and expect it to be lobster just because it took a ride home from the store.

Me either, and that's why I said I'd be watching her to see if she drops more clues.  But that same incident is why I was also concerned about his ability to integrate in to US society.  As evidenced by people standing around giggling and filming him with their cell phones, and Kalani's obvious embarrassment, this type of thing is out of the norm here (even though I thought it was cool, and touching), and if she's going to grow to resent him, and what her thoughts and ideas may do to his "ego", etc.

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2 hours ago, shockermolar said:

No. Categorically no we do not all want a Daddy that's so hyper involved in our lives that he would threaten someone.  Kalani is THIRTY years old. She wasn't a teenager that was preyed upon by a slick trickster, she made multiple trips to Samoa to engage in a relationship with a boy several years younger than herself in age and more than that in broader level world experience. She was aware of what she was doing. Maybe her dad should worry less about his daughter being disrespected and worry more about his daughter literally doing the polar opposite of the thing he apparently raised her not to do -  date village boys from Samoa.

 I agree,  I think “losing her virginity to a village boy” and getting knocked up to prove  it, were a big passive aggressive fuck you to daddy. But she didn’t realize the emotional, physical and financial burden a child can be. She wants help with raising the baby but I don’t think she wants Asuelu as a husband.   

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On 10/27/2018 at 6:25 PM, Scarlett45 said:

I can see that. 

Also I’ve noticed many people use “white” as a stand in for “western” or “American” (which is a problem in and of itself- not all western/American people are white but still). I believe Kalani’s Dad loves his daughter, and wants the best for her. 

 

Asuelu DOES seem like a man child. I want to see more of him on Sunday. Is he just goofy or an immature brat? Has he been sending Kalani money for baby expenses?

I was going to say this, too.  I am ethnic so when we say ‘white’ we just mean someone first world, from here (American/Americanized), Western, Europeanized (is this a word?).

 Not someone that is from the Islands, third world countries, etc. 

 

An African American can be included as this ‘white person’ as well since they are Americanized.

 

At home I am considered ‘white’ because I am Americanized and speak English.

Funny thing is that our race is white, but we use white to differentiate between both cultures. If I order French fries instead of rice as a side dish.....I am doing something....white.   ?  

 

For some reason we don’t use the word ‘Western’.........’white’ just stuck from the days of colonization. Because, at this point, the European people themselves weren’t Westernized. It TOOK CENTURIES for European colonizers to become westernized! They were just the White people.

 

Countries that I have spent time in also use the word ‘White’ as well.  Mzungu, gori, gringo, etc.

 

 In China, they used to refer to me as meiguoren (American) in Mandarin, but when talking in  English they used, white. A lot of the times when I said something nice.  They almost always replied, that is because you are white.  Meaning, I was experiencing/seeing ‘Chinese culture’ thru rose colored glasses. Here again, not white as skin color, but culturally.

 

Middle Eastern countries they love to use the word, American and America.  I never heard them refer to me as white. 

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Asuelu IS sweet...and I also think he's gay a little bit. Maybe he doesn't know it. Maybe it's not something he can explore due to cultural norms in the Pacific Island region, but yeah, I definitely had ye ol gaydar pinging away. Not that there's anything wrong with that, there isn't, it just is another potential reason this is going to end terribly for this naive man-child. He should be wearing a lei crown and walking around in a sarong singing and doing islandy things, not traipsing around behind Miss Thang in urban America, trying to appease her every wish. I want to start a collection for him, and go fetch him and take him to the airport and make sure he gets on the correct flight and gets home safely to SamWah. FREE ASUELO!

Edited by gingerella
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4 hours ago, shockermolar said:

No. Categorically no we do not all want a Daddy that's so hyper involved in our lives that he would threaten someone.  Kalani is THIRTY years old. She wasn't a teenager that was preyed upon by a slick trickster, she made multiple trips to Samoa to engage in a relationship with a boy several years younger than herself in age and more than that in broader level world experience. She was aware of what she was doing. Maybe her dad should worry less about his daughter being disrespected and worry more about his daughter literally doing the polar opposite of the thing he apparently raised her not to do -  date village boys from Samoa.

I have posted that their story needs to develop and I will be changing my mind since Kalani hasn’t revelealed enough.

So, far I like her dad.  A dad that is protective, supportive, loving and will kick ass when needed.  This is just my opinion because this is what I expect and get from my dad.  I know a lot of kids in America grow up without fathers and don’t understand father-daughter relationships. It is perfectly fine for dads to be involved in their daughters lives even when they are grown. No man will ever love you unconditionally like your daddy! Cherish that!

 

I do agree with you that if this chick is a loser then she can’t be expected to pull in a rich educated white man like her daddy wants. These type of overachieving white men have certain expectations.  An overweight single mom living in an Air BnB is not it! The point of saving your virginity into your mid-20’s is so you can attract a good husband.  This chick, so far, is not very bright.  

Once she got pregnant her ‘I am a virgin’ shtick was.....DONE! Daddy already knew he wouldn’t be getting much for his little girl. Daddy not happy, anymore! LOL

 

Kalani is a punk for blaming her messy life on her dad. She has not taken any responsibilities for her actions. (that we can tell from what has aired)

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17 hours ago, Dance4Life said:

I know a lot of kids in America grow up without fathers and don’t understand father-daughter relationships. It is perfectly fine for dads to be involved in their daughters lives even when they are grown. No man will ever love you unconditionally like your daddy! Cherish that!

 

I do agree with you that if this chick is a loser then she can’t be expected to pull in a rich educated white man like her daddy wants. These type of overachieving white men have certain expectations.  An overweight single mom living in an Air BnB is not it! The point of saving your virginity into your mid-20’s is so you can attract a good husband.  This chick, so far, is not very bright.  

I think there are some really obvious cultural differences being expressed between you and me in our posts.

I have a dad, and in fact by most American standards am something of a daddy's girl. I am also a grown woman with grown children. My dad is still alive. He has always been very, very supportive of me, my decisions (both good and bad) and what I have done in my life. He has never been intrusive. He has never overtly guided my decision making or given me ultimatums. He has never threatened the father of my children, to whom I am not married.  I have no expectation that he love me unconditionally - he's my parent, there are conditions implicit in being the child in a relationship. My partner though, is my equal. If anyone should love me unconditionally, it should be him.

I did not say that Kalani is a loser. I think she's likely the exact product of her environment - a Mormon woman expected to maintain chastity because her body is literally considered a temple in her religion, who was raised by a father who was himself raised in an extremely traditional patriarchal society.  I don't think that virginity is either essential or intended for the purpose of attracting a good husband. This is not a common concept in America, and it's not even the primary reason for Mormon chastity. Why Kalani specifically remained unmarried into her 20s (she's 30 now and met Asuelu some time before this was filmed, so likely 28ish) is unclear. This is a fairly late age for Mormon women to be single.  I also don't think her particularly overweight for a Samoan woman.  Many Polynesian cultures - including Samoa - have an historical association with large body size equaling status. This may or may not be the case with Kalani's family in particular, but there is a propensity for Samoans to be both larger in bone density, muscle mass and weight.  This isn't likely to be considered an ideal of Western beauty, but it doesn't make her unattractive obviously. 

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After I read the starcasm article about Kalani, I liked her more. 

She was already fed up with the interfering of the film crew and miffed that he never did that dance for her when she was in Samoa, but did it when the crew suggested it at the airport.

I have also been shocked at the asshole-ness of working production crews, so I get it. But then, did she or didn't she know what she was signing up for? Seems like she would have a better idea than say...Ashley from Mechanicsburg.

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5 minutes ago, guilfoyleatpp said:

After I read the starcasm article about Kalani, I liked her more. 

She was already fed up with the interfering of the film crew and miffed that he never did that dance for her when she was in Samoa, but did it when the crew suggested it at the airport.

I have also been shocked at the asshole-ness of working production crews, so I get it. But then, did she or didn't she know what she was signing up for? Seems like she would have a better idea than say...Ashley from Mechanicsburg.

Ugh.  I really wish the production crew didn’t interfere. I don’t give a crap what the production crew thinks should happen. I just want them to document what happens. If the producers and filmmakers were any good at telling the story they wouldn’t need all the artificial stuff.

Edited by PityFree
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14 hours ago, politichick said:

An African American is not Americanized, hence the whole American bit.

We don’t use the term African American.  Everybody from America is simply American no matter  your race.

The black people in my country weren’t segregated and no matter your color we all consider ourselves part of the African Diaspora. No segregation = mixed marriages. 

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7 hours ago, Neurochick said:

Confused.  I’m African American and I thought I was Americanized, guess I was wrong.

Lol  We are part of the African Diaspora.  Due to historical events, we have  become Americanized. 

The thing is that I hope Asuelu and Kalani work out.  One day the dad realizes that it is pretty cool his daughter married a native Samoan man and that his grandson is 75% Samoan with a Samoan last name. His daughter had more guts than him. 

Edited by Dance4Life
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17 hours ago, shockermolar said:

I think there are some really obvious cultural differences being expressed between you and me in our posts.

I have a dad, and in fact by most American standards am something of a daddy's girl. I am also a grown woman with grown children. My dad is still alive. He has always been very, very supportive of me, my decisions (both good and bad) and what I have done in my life. He has never been intrusive. He has never overtly guided my decision making or given me ultimatums. He has never threatened the father of my children, to whom I am not married.  I have no expectation that he love me unconditionally - he's my parent, there are conditions implicit in being the child in a relationship. My partner though, is my equal. If anyone should love me unconditionally, it should be him.

I did not say that Kalani is a loser. I think she's likely the exact product of her environment - a Mormon woman expected to maintain chastity because her body is literally considered a temple in her religion, who was raised by a father who was himself raised in an extremely traditional patriarchal society.  I don't think that virginity is either essential or intended for the purpose of attracting a good husband. This is not a common concept in America, and it's not even the primary reason for Mormon chastity. Why Kalani specifically remained unmarried into her 20s (she's 30 now and met Asuelu some time before this was filmed, so likely 28ish) is unclear. This is a fairly late age for Mormon women to be single.  I also don't think her particularly overweight for a Samoan woman.  Many Polynesian cultures - including Samoa - have an historical association with large body size equaling status. This may or may not be the case with Kalani's family in particular, but there is a propensity for Samoans to be both larger in bone density, muscle mass and weight.  This isn't likely to be considered an ideal of Western beauty, but it doesn't make her unattractive obviously. 

We don’t have the same viewpoints on anything! ? But, I see your points.

I think the biggest secret here why Kalani said those things about her family and Asuelu. Her finances.  Who sponsored Asuelu’s visa, etc. Is she spoiled or not filming her true life.  Sometimes, they do that. 

I am getting Nicole and Azan vibes, but I hope this is not the case.

We will keep watching!

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On 10/31/2018 at 11:57 AM, shockermolar said:

I think there are some really obvious cultural differences being expressed between you and me in our posts.

I have a dad, and in fact by most American standards am something of a daddy's girl. I am also a grown woman with grown children. My dad is still alive. He has always been very, very supportive of me, my decisions (both good and bad) and what I have done in my life. He has never been intrusive. He has never overtly guided my decision making or given me ultimatums. He has never threatened the father of my children, to whom I am not married.  I have no expectation that he love me unconditionally - he's my parent, there are conditions implicit in being the child in a relationship. My partner though, is my equal. If anyone should love me unconditionally, it should be him.

I get this point of view. However, in many other cultures it's quite different. Unconditional love *typically* comes from mom/dad and love between two spouses (or partners) is conditional. For example, if my husband were to start cheating on me regularly, I would probably love him less. 

Initially I thought that Kalani had gotten knocked up from a vacation fling, but it turns out that she actually made several trips to Samoa and intentionally planned to have sex with this kid. I don't think the pregnancy was intentional. However so far I dont care much for either of them. 

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11 hours ago, Lily247 said:

I get this point of view. However, in many other cultures it's quite different. Unconditional love *typically* comes from mom/dad and love between two spouses (or partners) is conditional. For example, if my husband were to start cheating on me regularly, I would probably love him less. 

I completely agree.  There should be conditions on love between spouses.   

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I don't think Kalani realizes that her full frontal assault on TLC's 'poor editing' of her relationship is going to backfire on her miserably. The more she goes full throttle, speaking for the two of them about how she's not domineering, boorish, and shrewish, how she's right and everyone else is wrong, how she didn't say what she actually said... well, the worse she's going to make it.

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On 11/1/2018 at 7:47 AM, guilfoyleatpp said:

She was already fed up with the interfering of the film crew and miffed that he never did that dance for her when she was in Samoa, but did it when the crew suggested it at the airport

THis^^^. it can't be understated from that article just HOW pissed she was. In fact, she was more HURT that he hadn't done the welcome dance for her until (she says) production manipulated it out of Asuelu and HE then kept it from her. She was hurt and angry on a number of fronts about this. Maybe he means more to her than we are seeing at this time. Of course, this could all be her retrospectively trying to massage her image from the one we HAVE been presented with as described perfectly above by @iwasish

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On 10/21/2018 at 4:16 PM, greekmom said:

Just from the previews, he's my favourite, she is not.

I so agree!!! 
And I can't stand people who deny their own culture. What her father said about his people "messing things up" was so antiquated and low self-esteem based it made me cringe.

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