Kalani & Asuelu: Cheeto Dust and Slut People

[HaaCHOO]

1 minute ago, Chalby said:

Something is wrong here and I feel emotionally defrauded by both of them.

But SHE knows better and is a manipulator.  I truly believe he doesn't know better...just an innocent who has been taken advantage of by Kalani, her family, and TLC.  All for "good TV."

[HaaCHOO]

1 minute ago, Chalby said:

Something is wrong here and I feel emotionally defrauded by both of them.

But SHE knows better and is a manipulator.  I truly believe he doesn't know better...just an innocent who has been taken advantage of by Kalani, her family, and TLC.  All for "good TV."

[HaaCHOO]

1 minute ago, Chalby said:

Something is wrong here and I feel emotionally defrauded by both of them.

But SHE knows better and is a manipulator.  I truly believe he doesn't know better...just an innocent who has been taken advantage of by Kalani, her family, and TLC.  All for "good TV."

[Chalby]

On 11/27/2018 at 2:07 PM, TwirlyGirly said:

I did some research to see whether there are any professional recommendations as to the minimum age at which it is acceptable to carry a baby/child on one's shoulders, and I couldn't find anything. I did find several forums in which it was discussed, and the consensus seems to be the baby should have achieved trunk/neck stability, which is *usually* around 4 months or later. Of course, babies that young should always be held securely with hands on the baby's torso. 

I found it very amusing that Kalani was asking if Asuelo used both hands while baby was on his shoulders... meanwhile, she's asking this with the baby slung on her hip, only holding him with one hand. How a child should be secured in one's arms may be different for all parents. What amuses me is that big ol' Kalani assumes she is always right. I am not surprised no one came courting her until her late 20s. She's unappealing to all 'regular' men & women.

[sonder]

So annoying when someone cries about a pregnancy based on their decision to not use any form of birth control. More annoying when it is the excuse that one of them doesn’t like a condom. Both of their fault, grow up. 

[magemaud]

I guess Asuelu should have opted for a "Big Bro" onesie for Oliver

[LilaFowler]

You're only allowed to claim one "oops" baby in life. This woman is a moron.

[CSS.MD]

12 minutes ago, LilaFowler said:

You're only allowed to claim one "oops" baby in life. This woman is a moron.

I love this rule. 😂🤣

[endure]

Kalani is so entitled and above it all, she should have only relied on herself for some form of reliable birth control especially knowing how he felt about having more babies.  Breast feeding is not any form of birth control and she should know that yet she still blames the pregnancy on Asuelo lol.

[liammaam]

Jesus Christ, Kalani. 

[TwirlyGirly]

6 hours ago, sonder said:

So annoying when someone cries about a pregnancy based on their decision to not use any form of birth control. More annoying when it is the excuse that one of them doesn’t like a condom. Both of their fault, grow up. 

In Kalani's first TH last night, she said:

"A few days ago we kind of stumbled upon a surprise. I found out that I'm pregnant. Because I'm 'breastfeeding' and don't have many options for birth control, and Asuelo doesn't like using condoms because they're for 'slut' people."

I realize I don't know everything about everything (like Kalani), and because I'd never heard of certain forms of birth control being contraindicated for breastfeeding women, I looked it up.

According to Planned Parenthood:

"If you’re breastfeeding, you can safely use hormonal methods. They won’t hurt you or your baby.

You can start using the shot, implant, Skyla and Mirena IUDs, and some types of birth control pills (called mini-pills) right after giving birth.

[...]

For the first 3 weeks after giving birth, don’t use a method that has the hormone estrogen, like the pill, patch, or ring.  After 3 weeks, you can start any of these methods."

So, one can use any form of birth control, even hormonal birth control methods, after three weeks post-partum.

Kalani making it sound as if her only options were condoms or abstinence, and then blaming Asuelu for the pregnancy, was a crappy thing for her to do.

It was just another attempt by Kalani to "poison the well" of public opinion regarding Asuelu.

Edited December 17, 2018 by TwirlyGirly
Weird italicization of part of post.

[Scarlett45]

3 minutes ago, TwirlyGirly said:

In Kalani's first TH last night, she said:

"A few days ago we kind of stumbled upon a surprise. I found out that I'm pregnant. Because I'm 'breastfeeding' and don't have many options for birth control, and Asuelo doesn't like using condoms because they're for 'slut' people."

I realize I don't know everything about everything like Kalani, and because I'd never heard of certain forms of birth control being contraindicated for breastfeeding women, I looked it up.

According to Planned Parenthood:

"f you’re breastfeeding, you can safely use hormonal methods. They won’t hurt you or your baby.

You can start using the shot, implant, Skyla and Mirena IUDs, and some types of birth control pills (called mini-pills) right after giving birth.

[...]

For the first 3 weeks after giving birth, don’t use a method that has the hormone estrogen, like the pill, patch, or ring.  After 3 weeks, you can start any of these methods."

So, unless one is within the first three weeks post partum (which Kalani was not), she could use any birth control method - including hormonal birth control.

Making it sound as if her only  options were condoms or abstinence, and then putting all the blame on Asuelo when she got pregnant, was a crappy thing for her to do. It was nothing more than just another attempt by Kalani to "poison the well" of public opinion regarding Asuelu.

At her 6 week post partum check up, her doctor would’ve gone over ALL possible contraceptive options with her. I do not understand, and will NEVER understand women who don’t use contraceptives and then are upset when they become pregnant. It doesn’t make a lick of sense. 

[Gobi]

So, is this what Kannoli meant when she said that if people knew Aswellas he would be the most hated man in America - because he got her pregnant? In which she played no part, of course.

[trimthatfat]

Kalani is full of shit. She has numerous birth control options available to her and still blamed Asuelu for the pregnancy. The man says he doesn’t want to use condoms so Kalani had one of 2 options: 1) abstain from sex or 2) go to the doctor and ask for birth control. 

[trimthatfat]

Kalani is full of shit. She has numerous birth control options available to her and still blamed Asuelu for the pregnancy. The man says he doesn’t want to use condoms so Kalani had one of 2 options: 1) abstain from sex or 2) go to the doctor and ask for birth control. 

[Mrs. Hanson]

7 hours ago, Chalby said:

big ol' Kalani

I love this nickname.  Love. It.  

She is preggers AGAIN.  So let's get this straight:  She is LDS, went to Samoa to do whatever, hooked up with a native to bone, gets pregnant, brings him home,  shames him and blames him in front of her whole family, treats him like a sub human, then get pregnant AGAIN , both are unemployed but still wants to marry him?  Yeah, nothing wrong with THAT plan.......

[NoWhammies]

And tragically, that is when Kalani learned Cheeto dust is not, in fact, a spermicide. 

[Gobi]

4 minutes ago, NoWhammies said:

And tragically, that is when Kalani learned Cheeto dust is not, in fact, a spermicide. 

Love this!

[Honey]

It's no secret here that I don't like kids, and I very rarely find them cute.  This kid is no exception.  He's odd looking.  Like a little old man's face on a baby body.  He kinda gives me the creeps.

[Drogo]

Just now, Honey said:

This kid is no exception.  He's odd looking.  Like a little old man's face on a baby body. 

Side effect of being the most mature person in your family at 6 months old.

[endure]

2 hours ago, trimthatfat said:

Kalani is full of shit. She has numerous birth control options available to her and still blamed Asuelu for the pregnancy. The man says he doesn’t want to use condoms so Kalani had one of 2 options: 1) abstain from sex or 2) go to the doctor and ask for birth control. 

And~or at the very least abstain those couple of days when you are ovulating......this one is all Kalani.  Asuelu is happy 👶🏻👶🏻👶🏻👶🏻👶🏻👶🏻

[HaaCHOO]

I've seen one too many little SMIRKS on Kalani's face...like she's secretly proud that she's pregnant.  That proves to everyone that she's hot-hot-hot.    FREE ASUELU ! ! !

[Booger666]

Yes, Kalani smirks a lot while acting put upon and making a big deal of letting tears stream down her face.  She is the biggest manufactured drama queen I have seen in a long, long time.  She sought out a “hot” foreigner to get knocked up by twice, even though she says it is against her and her family’s belief system.  She doesn’t build Anseulu up to her family like a normal person does when they are trying to convince others that their mate is a good person; she says that he is too immature to be a good father.  That is about the biggest insult she tell her family about her chosen mate.  She’s convincing them that not only is he not good enough for her, but that he may harm their grandson/nephew at some point.  She has admitted to lying to her sister.  She keeps putting Asuelu in the hot seat of having to explain things to her family.  She should be responsible for good, open communication channels with her family - not dumping the responsibility on him.  All of her choices would be fine if she were financially and emotionally mature enough to take care of herself and the repercussions of her frequent bad decisions.  But the financial responsibility falls to her daddy, and the emotional responsibility falls to her mommy who frequently takes care of her kid and her sister who acted as parent for the first year to help Kalani and Oliver out.  In summary, I think Kalani is one of the most hated female D list reality star - and that’s saying a lot.  Farrah Abraham thanks you, Kalani!  

[gonecrackers]

I think her baby is cute; would be curious to see how he grows into his looks.

Unpopular opinion, but, I also don't think she's a bad mom to Oliver - she seems connected & caring. She is, however, condescending & self-righteous toward Asuelo. He does need help adapting to this country, but she doesn't have to give him so much attitude

I felt her tears were real, but Kalani is a run of the mill irresponsible person who judges others instead of taking any responsibility for her actions. I think she'll be fine as a mother to the next one as well, but I do feel badly for the future kids when a parent goes on TV crying over being pregnant, like, that's how mommy reacted to knowing she was having me- which most likely will sting.

[Lily247]

10 hours ago, Chalby said:

I found it very amusing that Kalani was asking if Asuelo used both hands while baby was on his shoulders... meanwhile, she's asking this with the baby slung on her hip, only holding him with one hand. How a child should be secured in one's arms may be different for all parents. What amuses me is that big ol' Kalani assumes she is always right. I am not surprised no one came courting her until her late 20s. She's unappealing to all 'regular' men & women.

Not in her defense, but holding a baby on the hip is wayyyyyyy more supportive and stable than on the shoulders, just sayin'. 

11 hours ago, HaaCHOO said:

But SHE knows better and is a manipulator.  I truly believe he doesn't know better...just an innocent who has been taken advantage of by Kalani, her family, and TLC.  All for "good TV."

I do think that people tend to be harder than women than on men. Asuelo's reaction to the pregnancy was very telling. So childlike and happy, like not a worry in the world. He really does not contribute much of anything to this child - i seriously hope he will get his green card soon and be able to find a job, or do something to help out. 

[Lily247]

29 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

I think her baby is cute; would be curious to see how he grows into his looks.

Unpopular opinion, but, I also don't think she's a bad mom to Oliver - she seems connected & caring. She is, however, condescending & self-righteous toward Asuelo. He does need help adapting to this country, but she doesn't have to give him so much attitude

As a mother specifically - i think she does an amazing job, and i dont get why people would say otherwise, she has an intuitive knowledge of her baby, breastfeeds, protecta him from harm, etc. 

[HaaCHOO]

17 minutes ago, Lily247 said:

I do think that people tend to be harder than women than on men.

I try to NOT be...but there's no option with this couple.  Kalani is going to get what she wants no matter what.  It's too easy to take advantage of Asuelu.

[gonecrackers]

I understand about Kalani, but I don't have much sympathy for Asuelo. I think it's a huge cultural difference between them; he wants to live with Kalani here like he's on the island, & doesn't realize how much is different & won't work here. He's also been a bit arrogant about his way of doing things being fine, which means he could care less about what Kalani has to say. When it comes to the baby's safety, that would put me in serious bitch-mode as well. So she explodes or is frustrated with him, & he shuts down. What they really need is a third party counselor to help them with appreciating the other's point of view & communication. He may also need someone else helping him assimilate & find appropriate work (at the end of the 90 days). He'll be happier if he feels he's truly contributing to his family, instead of being like another child. He should also get over his crap about condoms; they need to get on the same page regarding family size & realize they are both responsible, so the blame game stops.

[HaaCHOO]

58 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

he wants to live with Kalani here like he's on the island, & doesn't realize how much is different

I think it's the opposite...not only did he not realize how much is different here, he's overwhelmed.   Overwhelmed with the size of the cities and buildings, with the speed of the traffic and the people.  Overwhelmed at what's expected of him when it's never explained.  Kalani seems to be upset with everything about him, yet she'll "cuddle" with him enough to get pregnant again.  All Asuelu receives from Americans are mixed messages.  Kalani seems very lazy; she might like the laidback lifestyle of Sam-WAA!  They will appreciate her look, and especially love her size.

Edited December 17, 2018 by HaaCHOO
deleted; I misunderstood.

[gonecrackers]

17 minutes ago, HaaCHOO said:

I think it's the opposite...not only did he not realize how much is different here, he's overwhelmed.   Overwhelmed with the size of the cities and buildings, with the speed of the traffic and the people.  Overwhelmed at what's expected of him when it's never explained.  Kalani seems to be upset with everything about him, yet she'll "cuddle" with him enough to get pregnant again.  All Asuelu receives from Americans are mixed messages.  Kalani seems very lazy; she might like the laidback lifestyle of Sam-WAA!  They will appreciate her look, and especially love her size.

I don't think that's 'opposite' - I think we agree; in fact overwhelmed is probably more accurate. I do think he's having a lot of trouble assimilating & with the way she is it's no help to him.

I was thinking that about her just going to the island & raising their family there, but she's way too involved with her family to strike out on her own.

[HaaCHOO]

2 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

I was thinking that about her just going to the island & raising their family there, but she's way too involved with her family to strike out on her own.

Let's send her there with no cell phone or access to social media.  

[Toaster Strudel]

[CSS.MD]

LOL. And to think that during filming her delusional self probably thought she was going to gain sympathy from people and have people say, “oooooh poor Kalani she just wants to be a good mother.” Ugh.

I can’t stand how she and the mother try to make Asuelu the bad guy.

It’s not bad editing because we see the a-holeness flow out of her being.

It’s not from chip-chopped dialogue.

Edited December 17, 2018 by CSS.MD

[gonecrackers]

44 minutes ago, HaaCHOO said:

Let's send her there with no cell phone or access to social media.  

... same for Steven & Leida - these two may need their own deserted islands somewhere though.

Edited December 17, 2018 by gonecrackers

[guilfoyleatpp]

I know Family Kalani has a lot of fucking gall, but the nerve of her to ask Asuelo if he planned to get her pregnant again so she would HAVE to marry him...as if he snuck sperm into her vagina while she was sleeping.

I'm almost 20 years older than Kalani but in my day (and still now...menopause where ARE YOU?), women who didn't want to get pregnant by a specific man with whom they are engaging in consensual intercourse could actually prevent it from happening through more reliable means than "hoping."

The disconnect between her actions and her feelings is pretty astounding and seems to be a common feature of reality show cast members. 

[Enya Face]

On 12/16/2018 at 3:08 PM, RealReality10 said:

Thank you.  I have no idea where these people got the idea they were prizes.  That brother's condom looked like it's been collecting dust since the Clinton administration

ROFL 🤣🤣🤣

[HaaCHOO]

7 hours ago, guilfoyleatpp said:

I know Family Kalani has a lot of fucking gall, but the nerve of her to ask Asuelo if he planned to get her pregnant again so she would HAVE to marry him...as if he snuck sperm into her vagina while she was sleeping.

So, having ONE baby doesn't require marriage, but having a second definitely will??  Is that Utah law?  Her genius is astounding!

• Let's start a GoFundMe to liberate Asuelu and send him back into the peaceful life where he belongs...with court-ordered visits from the babies.

[zenme]

22 hours ago, Gobi said:

So, is this what Kannoli meant when she said that if people knew Aswellas he would be the most hated man in America - because he got her pregnant? In which she played no part, of course.

So why is Kalani sleeping with the most hated man in the United States? Why didn't she just send him back to Samwa if he's so vile? Why would she want her son raised by him? Makes no sense to me. Kalani lies.

[Mrs. Hanson]

2 hours ago, zenme said:

So why is Kalani sleeping with the most hated man in the United States?

Kalani is sleeping with Chris Watts?  Bada Bing Badda Boom!!!  Please tip your servers well!!!  Thank you, good night!!!

[iwasish]

17 hours ago, Toaster Strudel said:

Too bad she’s 30, when this gig is over she could have joined the other birth control challenged morons on Teen Mom.

[sconstant]

On 12/17/2018 at 8:28 AM, NoWhammies said:

And tragically, that is when Kalani learned Cheeto dust is not, in fact, a spermicide. 

I heard from a friend who heard from her big sister that if he pulls out before his Cheeto dust comes out, you can't get pregnant.  

[Drogo]

Just now, sconstant said:

I heard from a friend who heard from her big sister that if he pulls out before his Cheeto dust comes out, you can't get pregnant.  

And she's not just a sister, she's also her babydaddy.

[magemaud]

Does (poor innocent) Kalani think we're going to bestow on (evil, horny) Asuelu the "Most Hated Man in America" title just because he GOT her pregnant again? I think there's more to the story and possibly HE decides not to marry her and goes back to Samoa, leaving her in the Cheeto dust. 

[HaaCHOO]

1 hour ago, magemaud said:

I think there's more to the story and possibly HE decides not to marry her and goes back to Samoa, leaving her in the Cheeto dust. 

And that's how I'd spell...J-U-S-T-I-C-E ! !

[Cherrio]

3 hours ago, sconstant said:

I heard from a friend who heard from her big sister that if he pulls out before his Cheeto dust comes out, you can't get pregnant.  

I think she switched to "Lays" that day?

[Gobi]

52 minutes ago, Cherrio said:

I think she switched to "Lays" that day?

But Aswellas supposedly was a Cheato back in Samwah.

[NoWhammies]

3 hours ago, Cherrio said:

I think she switched to "Lays" that day?

This is my everything. 

[CSS.MD]

Just tried out eating Cheetos with chopsticks. Pretty good way to keep your fingers clean. Teh smaller bits did fall into my bra. But at least my fingers are clean.

[Clam129]

Toothpicks work great for Cheetos too. 😁

[Drew Pierce]

Here's the overall problem.  Kalani got knocked up by a guy she met on vacation.  So in return, this guy moved to another country to take care of this baby, wants to marry her, be with her forever and have even MORE children.  And in exchange this f'd up family treats him like Satan.  Did I miss the point where a man wanting to take responsibility and altering his life to be with a woman and new child is the WRONG thing to do???  would this family of miscreants prefer he ignore, deny the baby is his, not want to touch her and not want to be in the baby's life??? 

I'll tell you why, because this Uncle Tom of a father is straight up racist.  To breed such scorn in your own children to hate their own race and culture is disgusting. (and its quite obvious the sister Lala got a nose job to look as white as possible, on top of the light foundation they cake on their faces. #selfloathing.)  And to name your Samoan daughters with HAWAIIAN names because you clearly want people to think you are Hawaiian???  This loser should take a page out of Dwayne Johnson's playbook and be proud of your Samoan blood. 

And that blob of a brother of hers and the siblings judging Asuelu for his baby caring abilities.  As far as the little things, they all had months to learn how to care for the baby, Asuelu had like two hours of being around this baby and they were already claiming he's an unfit father and shouldn't be married.  As for carrying the baby on his shoulders as unsafe, Asuele is a TYPICAL SAMOAN.  The toughest people on Earth.  As they judge how he plays with his son, they should ask themselves why Samoan boys have like a 10,000 greater chance of playing in the NFL or in professional rugby leagues worldwide.  Raising your Samoan baby like a faberge egg is going to create a disaster of a kid who would get eaten alive by Samoans back home and in Utah.

What's unfortunate is Cheeto hands really seems to be into Asuelu, sincerely.  But whenever around this Samoan-hating family of hers, she always falls back to pleasing them and assumes this victim role to get more attention and sympathy. #saveasuelu