Darcey & Jesse: Cougar Town

[poeticlicensed]

3 hours ago, Lesia said:

1/ Bought her own engagement ring. (Like stupid Farrah from Teen Mom.)

2/"Carry me over the threshold!"

3/"I'd like to go to the Diamond Museum!"

4/"Do they do weddings here?"

Any   I  missed?  What makes her think a guy wants to hear that kind of talk?  It's so much more important that the guy LIKE you.   if marriage is in the cards, then it will happen.  why would you want to force a guy into it, who just isn't feeling it.  it will only get worse as time goes on.

When they were standing on a bridge looking at the architecture, he said something like there is a hotel in that building, to which she replied "we can stay in the honeymoon suite". 

[locomoco]

3 hours ago, Lesia said:

1/ Bought her own engagement ring. (Like stupid Farrah from Teen Mom.)

2/"Carry me over the threshold!"

3/"I'd like to go to the Diamond Museum!"

4/"Do they do weddings here?"

Any   I  missed?  What makes her think a guy wants to hear that kind of talk?  It's so much more important that the guy LIKE you.   if marriage is in the cards, then it will happen.  why would you want to force a guy into it, who just isn't feeling it.  it will only get worse as time goes on.

in addition to the other comments people have added, it seems like all these came within the first 24 hours of her arriving... Good Lord, that's gotta be annoying to have to go through. It must be like trying to eat some grilled fish on the sofa in an apartment with 20 cats. (and I like cats)

Edited August 22, 2017 by locomoco

[peaceknit]

8 hours ago, Drogo said:

All of the couples' threads are spoiler zones, as indicated by the red spoiler tag next to the thread name. 

If anyone is looking for spoiler-free conversation, they should stick to the episode threads. 

Thanks for the clarification.

1 hour ago, spankydoll said:

Those ripped pants look ridiculous on her. The black pants were so tight that her skin bulged out of the holes. It was like the sidefat that Tina Fey played like xylophone in the movie Sisters 

 

Why is her face covered in oil? That is not a sexy look

That greasy look is disgusting. *shudder*

[Arwen Evenstar]

 Even if Jesse had discussed the possibility of marriage, he had no intention of wanting to rush into it, because that's not what Europeans in general do.  I just hope that pathetic behavior was scripted, because all we need is another example of Ugly /Embarrassing American Behavior Abroad.

If he misled her, then shame on him.  But then, that's what some  guys typically do. Remember the episode on sex and the city when Samantha met this really suave sophisticated Latin man named Willie who was always using the term "we" to describe a future that they would never have just so he could get her in the bed? The show then named those kind of guys "We Guys".  I wish I had seen that show before Id been stupid enough to fall for it as a single girl.

Edited August 22, 2017 by Arwen Evenstar
Typo

[bethster2000]

2 hours ago, locomoco said:

grilled fish on the sofa in an apartment with 20 cats. (and I like cats)

20 cats?  Try TWO cats.  I have two Siamese monsters and trust me, they would just climb right up and snatch the tasty fish from the plate!  And then they would look at me as if to say, "What, bitch?" and then clean their paws with great ceremony.

Darcey is just so skanky.  I don't know why or how this sort of thing became the benchmark for "hot" or "sexy" or even "attractive," but she just looks basic, dirty, nasty, and stinky.  Not only did she trowel a shitload of makeup on her face for this photo, she troweled it all over her body.  "Look at me!  Look at me!  I'm 42, and I'm HAWT!"

 

[peaceknit]

Awww, such cute little kitties! Love me some meezers!

[Arwen Evenstar]

@bethster2000, oh I hear you about your cats! My little darlings exact their share as well. The squeeing starts the instant something tasty hits their noses.

[Desert Rat]

5 hours ago, Lilacly said:

How???

What's wrong with her left breast? It looks like a Hugh pimple ready to pop. 

And Jesse looks weird too. He needs a more updated, grown up hair style. He had the same cut in HS.

5 hours ago, Nicolien said:

As a dutch women I can say that your statements are complete b*llsh*t. No one is fleeing away for muslims and there are enough jobs out there. He is educated, he has a job. 

He is a bit too arrogant for the dutch culture, though. 

I know he's a personal trainer, but what is his education?  You don't even need a HS diploma to be a personal trainer.  My high schooler is getting his certification for personal training to help pay for college.  

What is BS about the New York Times article?

Edited August 22, 2017 by Desert Rat

[Turquoise]

14 minutes ago, Desert Rat said:

What's wrong with her left breast? It looks like a Hugh pimple ready to pop. 

 

Looks like her implant to me. Tasty.

[Desert Rat]

2 minutes ago, Turquoise said:

Looks like her implant to me. Tasty.

Yeah, I don't think a real boob can do that. 

[Drogo]

Looks like a McDonald's hamburger bun to me. 

[guilfoyleatpp]

FWIW, I'm betting on Jesse is European and TOTALLY not into Darcey. 

Since he lives in a lovely place already, I imagine he's not overly interested in moving to 'Murica to make his dreams come true. 

She is driving him bat shit crazy with her frenetic desperation and constant talk of marriage and relationship status. That's who she is, and he's not into it. No harm, no foul. He's probably hoping she'll calm the fuck down a bit, but I'm guessing that's not going to happen. 

And I'm sure it will be delicious to watch. 

[Desert Rat]

9 minutes ago, Swim mom said:

How many of you did what I just did, yanked your tee shirt down and attempted to shove your boobie into that shape?

Fyi: success!

Didn't work for me. ?

[Drogo]

3 minutes ago, Desert Rat said:

Didn't work for me. ?

Me neither.

[Desert Rat]

6 minutes ago, Swim mom said:

Breastfeeding made my boobies a lot more flexible than they were previously. Perhaps you missed that step . . .

I did the breastfeeding thing but mine don't have that look of hard plastic underneath the skin. Gravity has taken its toll.  Just too swishy.  Hers look ready to pop.

Edited August 22, 2017 by Desert Rat

[checker]

22 minutes ago, Swim mom said:

Breastfeeding made my boobies a lot more flexible than they were previously. Perhaps you missed that step . . .

and all the trapeze training....

[Landlord]

44 minutes ago, Swim mom said:

How many of you did what I just did, yanked your tee shirt down and attempted to shove your boobie into that shape?

Fyi: success!

I'm waiting until my children have left the room. ;)

[Desert Rat]

24 minutes ago, Swim mom said:

I am happy to report that I have just the right amount of excess skin and droopy, over 60 boobie to recreate the shot. This does not reflect well on Darcey. 

Oh great, now I have I shower since I wet my pants laughing so hard. Thanks a lot. 

Edited August 22, 2017 by Desert Rat

[spankydoll]

6 hours ago, Swim mom said:

I think those jeans might be sold by her and her sister on their website.

OMG  They're featuring Angie Everhardt as a star client.  That's like Q-list level stardom, 

[Awfarmington]

7 hours ago, Lilacly said:

How???

Her left breast looks like a flesh colored implant, not even a normal fake boob shape, literally an implant slapped on. 

2 minutes ago, Awfarmington said:

Her left breast looks like a flesh colored implant, not even a normal fake boob shape, literally an implant slapped on. 

Replied to the pic before reading replies, glad I wasn't the only one who noticed.

[chickenella]

2 hours ago, Swim mom said:

How many of you did what I just did, yanked your tee shirt down and attempted to shove your boobie into that shape?

Did not work for me. No breastfeeding history either.

6 hours ago, Landlord said:

I'm not wondering how, I am wondering why. Nothing about her looks nice in this picture. The weird half dried and ough looking hair, the jorts, why does she look so oily? And the makeup does her no favor.

I was thinking the shiny skin was from sweat, maybe he just finished giving her a workout of some sort? Not her best look at all. And the sweat stops right after her elbow area, weird. His face looks a little rough here also. I thought he had smooth, young skin?

19 hours ago, Lucky24 said:

Am I the only one who thinks that Jesse is gay?

Nope I was wondering the same. And his friends, too.

[Former Nun]

6 hours ago, spankydoll said:

Why is her face covered in oil? That is not a sexy look

It drip-drip-dripped from her hair.

[Toaster Strudel]

She really needs to learn how to sew denim patches!

[Arwen Evenstar]

31 minutes ago, SoshulMeedya said:

That's absolutely the outline of a breast implant. I am still trying to figure out why Jesse is with her. 

****crickets****

It really does look like that's what it is, an implant.

Mutton dressed as lamb is what my British mom and granny would call Darcey.  Since Jesse professes to liking "natural beauty", Darcey's plastic parts, fillers, fake eyelashes, and extensions must irk him. The younger Darcey was really pretty before she did all this to herself.  Her hair color, style, troweled on makeup only age her more. 

I get fixing your nose, particularly if you have sinus issues, removing a scar, or lifting something that's drooping, or straightening your teeth...But I'm personally not in favor of excess in the plastic surgery/procedures department. This is just my own opinion. Plastic surgery is genius for reconstruction after disease, injury, or birth defect, but on the cosmetic side, many women don't know when to stop.

[Major Bigtime]

21 hours ago, Swim mom said:

I wonder about the how we met story. She and her sister are pushing a clothing line. Jesse is a model, and a personal trainer with hoodies and tee shirts, check out meester pt aka Jesse Meester Personal Training. 

She might have gone model shopping, figured any guy who models would jump at the chance to marry her right away. She reeks of desperation.

[islandgal140]

She'd be doing a lot if she stopped or at the very least pulled back the throttle a little with the tanning. Frankly, I think that is what is giving her that perceived 'dirty' look. She is the shade of a dyed pleather sofa. It is just a weird color not found naturally in humans of any race or creed so she needs to stop. The blond hair is an improvement on the obsidian black, but hard to get a sense of whether it actually suits her due to the horrible greasy styling. 

It is weird, there are things that are attractive about Jesee like his accent, height, body and I actually don't mind his 'disciplined' personality and he isn't facially unattractive but I just can't with the haircut and eyebrows and just a general sense that he spends an inordinate amount on his appearance i.e., he over grooms much like a Cristiano Ronaldo. 

[Lily247]

23 hours ago, Nicolien said:

As a dutch women I can say that your statements are complete b*llsh*t. No one is fleeing away for muslims and there are enough jobs out there. He is educated, he has a job. 

He is a bit too arrogant for the dutch culture, though. 

Thank you for the insight! Nicolien, can you please stick around on this forum for this season and provide us more explanations on any Dutch-isms that we may not understand. Such as, is it only in Amsterdam that everyone rides bikes as main transportation, or all over the Netherlands ? (BTW, I think Dutch guys are HOT)

[Lesia]

I think he looks like Joel McHale, from Talk Soup and Community, in that photo.

[Real4real]

There was an interview with Jesse and Darcy shown during "Spouse House"--Jesse talks about life in a studio apartment:  "We will either hate each other or love each other more."  And Darcy gushes about how he has told all his friends and colleagues about her and how well she gets along with his mom while flashing her "relationship ring."  In the video, Darcy's hair is blond (more blond than the greasy pics above) and it appears to be a little shorter too.  She is wearing it side-parted in a loose braid over her shoulder.  She actually looked much more natural--less make up, softer coloring.  I wonder if Jesse has had a hand in her "transformation"?

[Christina]

Darcey and Jesse are equal on the attractive meter to me, and they are both fours. She probably hit up several men on the dating site who listed jobs like model and personal trainer, and used her clothing line as an asset. Jesse is the one who bit. The chance to be on this show required a meet, so he is sucking it up the best he can, when he likely was only using her for the chance to model, which he did in the above (awful) photoshoot. Both are famewhores, too, so the chance to be on television was too big of a draw for him to pass up, and he had to pretend he was serious about her. 

 

On 8/22/2017 at 2:53 PM, Swim mom said:

I think those jeans might be sold by her and her sister on their website.

 

On 8/22/2017 at 3:39 PM, spankydoll said:

Those ripped pants look ridiculous on her. The black pants were so tight that her skin bulged out of the holes. It was like the sidefat that Tina Fey played like xylophone in the movie Sisters 

They are so tight that they will need to be cut or torn off, so she is just getting a head start. Jesse probably likes her time management. ; )

[Cmiller360]

There's something about Jesse that creeps me out and I think I've figure out what it is. He is incredibly passive aggressive. To the point where its actually uncomfortable to watch him interact with Darcey. I can't imagine him accepting Darcey for who she is if his preference is for her to be something different. Like his obvious dislike for her makeup. He didn't like it so she stopped wearing it, even though I would imagine (judging by the fact that she was actually going to wear makeup to bed) not wearing it made her feel really uncomfortable. He told her where to put her "panties", he probably told her how to fold them too.

And he doesn't seem to be all that into her, like, the look on his face at times gave me the feeling that he was wondering how he was going to get through the next 6 weeks. He didn't like that she asked him when he was going to change his fb relationship status (I wouldn't have liked it either) and her dropping proposal hints every 10 minutes seemed to irritate him. She needs to chill on the "wifey" push or shes going to pressure him right out of the relationship. 

I get the feeling that the two of them are polar opposites and I give it 2 weeks before they cant stand the sight of each other anymore. On the other hand Darcey seems to want a proposal so badly she might just turn into whoever he wants her to be to get that ring.

All that being said, I can't imagine what made her decide to go for 6 weeks! Spending 24 hours a day together for 6 weeks would be enough to strain even the best relationship. 2 weeks, maybe. 6 weeks, no freakin' way!!

[Major Bigtime]

I don't see any of these couples getting together permanently (which may have been why this show was created) but these two especially. She is so clingy and desperate, I'd be running for the hills.

[gonecrackers]

10 hours ago, Cmiller360 said:

All that being said, I can't imagine what made her decide to go for 6 weeks! Spending 24 hours a day together for 6 weeks would be enough to strain even the best relationship. 2 weeks, maybe. 6 weeks, no freakin' way!!

Especially in such a small space. I'm assuming he'll have to continue working, so she'll need to be on her own at least a bit. They'll need to either get out a lot or be apart for periods of time because there's no where to go to get a break from each other in his place.

Edited August 24, 2017 by gonecrackers

[Lily247]

29 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

Especially in such a small space. I'm assuming he'll have to continue working, so she'll need to be on her own at least a bit. They'll need to either get out a lot or be apart for periods of time because there's no where to go to get a break from each other in his place.

Agreed. I love my husband but we almost always take vacations with other couple friends along because spending more than 3 days together alone nonstop we'd go nuts. 

[Former Nun]

11 hours ago, Cmiller360 said:

There's something about Jesse that creeps me out and I think I've figure out what it is.

Some have said he's probably gay.  I think he's asexual and playing a part.  He can romance women as well as men and...he DID get on TV after all.  

[Major Bigtime]

Isn't 6 weeks some kind of minimum time they need to spend together before the foreigner can be granted visa status to come here?

[CofCinci]

50 minutes ago, Major Bigtime said:

Isn't 6 weeks some kind of minimum time they need to spend together before the foreigner can be granted visa status to come here?

Technically, only one visit is required; however, you must be able to provide bonafide evidence that you are an actual couple. Receipts, photos, phone logs, emails, etc. Many find that spending 6 weeks together gives them more than is required -- so it has become the safe goal. 

[Baltimore Betty]

On ‎8‎/‎23‎/‎2017 at 11:51 AM, islandgal140 said:

She'd be doing a lot if she stopped or at the very least pulled back the throttle a little with the tanning. Frankly, I think that is what is giving her that perceived 'dirty' look. She is the shade of a dyed pleather sofa. It is just a weird color not found naturally in humans of any race or creed so she needs to stop. The blond hair is an improvement on the obsidian black, but hard to get a sense of whether it actually suits her due to the horrible greasy styling. 

It is weird, there are things that are attractive about Jesee like his accent, height, body and I actually don't mind his 'disciplined' personality and he isn't facially unattractive but I just can't with the haircut and eyebrows and just a general sense that he spends an inordinate amount on his appearance i.e., he over grooms much like a Cristiano Ronaldo. 

I bet she has a few Glamour Shot photos from the 80's she hang with this in her bedroom.

Greasy. Desperate.

[happy hobo]

On 8/22/2017 at 9:08 PM, spankydoll said:

OMG  They're featuring Angie Everhardt as a star client.  That's like Q-list level stardom, 

Who is that? 

Oh! BTW, 66 yrs old here and MY boob can do that......(.course I have to first separate it from my kneecap)...never breastfed....do husbands count? 

[Love90DF]

Maybe I missed it, but has Jesse ever said he wants to move to the US?  Other 90df folks weren't allowed to work.  Wou;d he sit out his best working years?  He seems to love his country, profession and himself.

[Drogo]

Amsterdam Psycho with American Psychos #1 + 2 (Original Recipe Bale and Extra Crispy Darcy.)

[Major Bigtime]

Oh Lord, @Drogo, you nailed it! I was trying to figure out who this guy reminded me of, and it's him!

[Lily247]

3 hours ago, Swim mom said:

Jesse creeps me too, CMiller. When I first saw his photo, I thought what a hot body, but now, I'm just YUCK!  Thr ride through the town made me feel like he'd enjoy pulling legs off insects.

Idk... the more I see him onscreen, the more attractive I find him. He does have a total babyface, but I think the older he gets the better he'll age. I cant read his personality and whether its a Dutch thing to be less emotional or just him. His mother looks pretty eccentric and his stepfather appears foreign so I am guessing that they have no prob with the relationship. 

[Baltimore Betty]

Well, that picture of Mother Darcy and her Dutch Baby looks like it's all about her.  I noticed there is no engagement ring on her finger and that her affinity for ripped jeans has not waned.

Much like Chantal and Pedro, every time Darcy says "baby" or "babe" it take a shot and because of the nauseating overuse of that word I cannot bear to even listen to Sonny and Cher's, "I Got You Babe."

[Nancybeth]

Why did she make her first trip -- their first meeting - six weeks long??  It's not like Jesse lives in some far-flung place.  It's fairly easy and relatively inexpensive (all things considered) to fly from a NYC airport to Amsterdam.  Maybe she could have visited for a week or so, to start with?  Spending six weeks together is a lot for ANY couple! 

[biakbiak]

5 minutes ago, Nancybeth said:

Why did she make her first trip -- their first meeting - six weeks long

So she could be on a tv show.

[Drogo]

15 minutes ago, biakbiak said:

So she could be on a tv show.

[checker]

I trust that Jesse, alleged psychology graduate and counseler, will let Darcy down gently and respectfully. She will go on and on, never accepting they're just not meant for each other. He has to nip it in the bud asap, quickly and painlessly as possible for both of them.

[biakbiak]

13 minutes ago, checker said:

trust that Jesse, alleged psychology graduate and counseler, will let Darcy down gently and respectfully. Sh

He hasn't treated her gently or respectfully in the first two days of being with her so I don't forsee that will happen.

[LeeluDallas]

22 minutes ago, biakbiak said:

He hasn't treated her gently or respectfully in the first two days of being with her so I don't forsee that will happen.

How did he disrespect her? I think he's done quite well for having to deal with someone who has just exploded into his personal space and is the complete opposite to him. He may not have the best 'tact' but he's not been nasty to her. He's been pretty reasonable in his requests - suggesting for her to do things in his home that she should honestly already know... it must be so frustrating for him..to be polite and try not to show his shock at her chaos.  He's an ex-military guy who knows what he prefers, what he wants from a partner and doesn't want nonsense or pressure to conform. 

It just feels like their meeting is a classic case of - maybe time will help him get used to her? its obv from the pic they are still dating but by no means do I feel he's in love with her, just taking advantage of an opportunity. And she's more in love with the ego boost of being with a toy boy - than the boy himself!  

To me the bike ride did not look like a 3k marathon up hill.. that was a standard session for anyone that can ride a bike. She was the one that requested they get them  - told him in advance she was much more fit and active than she is - and then acts like a silly twit once she's riding around.. he has a lot more patience than most men.

I just don't think he's everyone's cup of tea...and that's OK but I don't find him to be as repulsive as most of the posters on here lol