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Darcey & Jesse: Cougar Town


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Spoiler alert because yikes..

Spoiler

On top of everything else, she get drunk and goes running out into his bushes? Are you kidding me? 

Jesse, seriously, what do you see in this woman?

I've heard Jesse referred to as The Alien Who Is Inhabiting Jesse's Body which is about as good an explanation as any for his choices.

  • Love 5
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11 minutes ago, Brooklynista said:

Even better, when he says "come home" that means "Now!".

Maybe that's part of what Jesse sees at her. Because Darcy will posture all day long about being an independent 42-year-old business owner, but at the end of that day she will do anything he says to have her "soulmate."

  • Love 1
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I don't want to be too harsh about Darcy but she looks absurd with the botox-heavy face.  Her lips are unnaturally huge and her hairline is totally weird (as mentioned in a previous post).  That photo posted where she has the "boobage" and the african-american level spray tan is also odd, although she looks much better with the lighter hair.  I feel she is engineering this whole thing constantly saying she is in love etc etc.  Come on -- it's not a Smith and Samantha thing (Sex in the City) in my opinion.  Samantha was a WEALTHY woman who could dictate her situation (although fictitious, do you think any true cougar relationship does not involve $$ ?)  Money confers power.  That said, you can tell there is a mist of desperation that pours off of her and envelopes everyone around her: 'Save me!"  This lady could afford more than just botox if she were affluent.  That should not be held against her, if this were true love, but obviously, it is not.  She's just offensive. She is a mother, and has two teenage daughters.  Go home and put their needs ahead of your own.  Set an example for them, don't show them you are in the throes of a serious midlife crisis, unable to act your age.  How embarrassing for them, yes?   I think Jesse is blind or stupid if he doesn't see through her.  He is very attractive.  His step father was right -- he is out of her league.  BTW, I would expect a Dutch man to be specific the way he was (come home now).  He has a job, and he needs to get his sleep. Personal trainers usually have their first client at 5am or earlier.    His culture reflects the germanic background they came from.  In WWII, the Netherlands, while declaring themselves neutral, had the highest percentage of Jews sent to death of any European Allied Country. Their level of cooperation with the Nazis once they were occupied was shamefully high.   

  • Love 10
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On 8/20/2017 at 9:19 PM, Awfarmington said:

When Jesse brought up her commenting on all his FB posts, I had to chuckle. That was yet another thing he sounded annoyed with. Also, I see that with some of my own friends on FB. They are my age (40's) and I feel embarrassed when they feel the need to 'mark their territory' like that.     

I'd much rather pee on a man's favorite pair of shoes to mark my territory.

  • Love 4
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On 9/13/2017 at 1:25 PM, gonecrackers said:

He must have a calendar hidden in his tiny apt with days crossed out counting down to 'Darcy's departure'.

LOL  I suddenly see a Far Side cartoon of a grubby, bearded man with a calendar, chained in a tiny dungeon.

  • Love 2
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2 hours ago, Toaster Strudel said:

Without lipstick, her lips looked like lumps floating in gravy... moguls on a ski hill... cancer... knobby fingers... sausages with potholes... leprosy... clam chowder with potato chunks...

I feel a girl crush coming on ... who could resist that? Or maybe I'm just hungry.

  • Love 1
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3 hours ago, tilt-a-whirl said:

Are we certain this isn't her brother?

Priceless photo. I guess Darcey decided she was going to be all about looks on the next one.

I agree with what's been said about Jesse's directness. He's a bit of a controlling guy and no doubt some of his relationships haven't worked in the past as a result. However, some of it is simply a directness that is cultural.

I don't know what he is getting from controlling an older woman who is acting like a sniveling child. Seriously, you would think Jesse was 42 and she was 24.

I'm really surprised that she was the one that left, and it wasn't the other way around with him kicking her out. I wonder if he made her feel like, seriously unwelcome? He has that passive-aggressive way about him, like when he was talking about her Facebook comments -- that was really funny!

I'm amazed that they are still together. He must be enjoying the drama and the attention that their relationship is now getting. Also I'm sure it's bringing his business and his "Jesse wear" quite a bit of attention also.

If he married her they would have to have children quickly because she's already 42 and would have trouble conceiving even at this point. That's just biology.

Jesse and Darcey are on completely different timetables. 24 is all about taking your time. Well, Darcey should be all about that, too, actually. What's her rush?

  • Love 2
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10 hours ago, Meowwww said:

Oh hey.  Darcey is allowed to have “a small glass of wine”. 

Control much??

It is indeed very controlling and I wouldn't like it one bit.

As for me personally, I don't care for alcohol and I wouldn't want a partner who got drunk, but it's a mutually agreed upon thing with my husband. I wouldn't pick a guy who loved beer so I could attempt to control him.

I have good friends who do like to drink, and I can't imagine getting drunk with a prospective Betsey Johnson lookalike mother-in-law is a good decision. (I felt sorry for that woman because she was clearly mystified by her son's choice. I would be wondering where I went wrong. The first thought would be does my son mother that he felt he never had? However, clearly, Jesse seems to want a child to parent. Darcey and Betsey Johnson are peers, and then Darcey started crying and she looked very unstable.

  • Love 3
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On 9/11/2017 at 3:36 PM, spankydoll said:

I want choker shirts for when I am 60!!!!!  My neck still looks good thanks to troweling on La Mer. But the clock waits for no one.

 

Darcy is screwing herself with her late 80's rock star styling. You know how Johnny Depp and Alice Cooper look like asses in their bracelets, leather and crosses? That's what Darcy looks - like mutton dressed like lamb. She doesn't have to go full on Eileen Fisher but she could get some cute things at a place other than Forever 21. She is just not cool. At all

Jesse's mom has an eccentric, youthful style but it's something more... I'm going to say organic for lack of a better word.  She clearly wears what she wants to wear. I'm going to resort to the cliche, she wears her clothes and her clothes don't wear her. Her style is a little wild, but it suits her, and she doesn't look like she's trying to recapture some lost youth. It's crazy and wild, take it or leave it, but it's not sad. I think his mom is adorable.

Meanwhile, Darcey probably spends what is proportionally a fortune trying to make herself look good, and her clothes are too young for her. And those neck things would be uncomfortable all the time.  She has too much makeup that she probably can't leave the house with and she would look so much better with somewhat shorter hair. It all looks uncomfortable. And not cool. It's like the mom in the movie who comes out wearing her daughter's clothes and everybody's like, what?

  • Love 6
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So Jesse got on the "H of 11" train with that hideous jacket this episode -- a complete departure from his style -- supports the view that he and Darcey are up to some crazy publicity scheme. Remember when Mr. Gosselin (forgot his name) started wearing that horrendous logo sportswear; turned out he had a deal. Color me disillusioned with the Jesse/Darcey love story LOL. 

  • Love 8
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1 minute ago, escapetoreality said:

So Jesse got on the "H of 11" train with that hideous jacket this episode -- a complete departure from his style -- supports the view that he and Darcey are up to some crazy publicity scheme. Remember when Mr. Gosselin (forgot his name) started wearing that horrendous logo sportswear; turned out he had a deal. Color me disillusioned with the Jesse/Darcey love story LOL. 

I thought about that, too, but I think she may have just decided to plug her clothing in addition to being on the show. I don't think Darcey is faking all of this instability and desperation. If they were pretending about the relationship, they would fake a healthier relationship. She wouldn't go all Danielle.

That's what made me decide it was real. I couldn't picture Darcey saying to herself, "I want to act like someone on a reality show and the woman with the qualities I want to embody and model for my daughters is... DANIELLE! THAT'S IT!"

Also I just realized she got drunk at the bar and not with her mother-in-law. I'm rewatching this. I was going back and forth doing laundry when it was on last night.

Part of the joys of being a housewife is you can kick up your feet on a Monday morning, drink a Monster Rehab and rewatch 90 Day Fiance!

  • Love 8
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11 hours ago, Ennagirl said:

I don't want to be too harsh about Darcy but she looks absurd with the botox-heavy face.  Her lips are unnaturally huge and her hairline is totally weird (as mentioned in a previous post).  That photo posted where she has the "boobage" and the african-american level spray tan is also odd, although she looks much better with the lighter hair.  I feel she is engineering this whole thing constantly saying she is in love etc etc.  Come on -- it's not a Smith and Samantha thing (Sex in the City) in my opinion.  Samantha was a WEALTHY woman who could dictate her situation (although fictitious, do you think any true cougar relationship does not involve $$ ?)  Money confers power.  That said, you can tell there is a mist of desperation that pours off of her and envelopes everyone around her: 'Save me!"  This lady could afford more than just botox if she were affluent.  That should not be held against her, if this were true love, but obviously, it is not.  She's just offensive. She is a mother, and has two teenage daughters.  Go home and put their needs ahead of your own.  Set an example for them, don't show them you are in the throes of a serious midlife crisis, unable to act your age.  How embarrassing for them, yes?   I think Jesse is blind or stupid if he doesn't see through her.  He is very attractive.  His step father was right -- he is out of her league.  BTW, I would expect a Dutch man to be specific the way he was (come home now).  He has a job, and he needs to get his sleep. Personal trainers usually have their first client at 5am or earlier.    His culture reflects the germanic background they came from.  In WWII, the Netherlands, while declaring themselves neutral, had the highest percentage of Jews sent to death of any European Allied Country. Their level of cooperation with the Nazis once they were occupied was shamefully high.   

"Mist of Desperation" the new body spray by Ho11.  Let it pour off you and envelop everyone around you.  Marry me.

Edited by Bedeleia DuMaurier
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  • Love 14
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NOT to defend Jesse, but I wonder if this wasn't the first time Darcey had gone off to pout and drink.  If this was a repeat of earlier behavior that Jesse thought they had talked their way through, I can see why he'd have been so upset and demanding that she come home NOW.  He wasn't dressed to go drag her out of a bar (again?).

Just a different perspective.

  • Love 2
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3 hours ago, escapetoreality said:

So Jesse got on the "H of 11" train with that hideous jacket this episode -- a complete departure from his style -- supports the view that he and Darcey are up to some crazy publicity scheme. Remember when Mr. Gosselin (forgot his name) started wearing that horrendous logo sportswear; turned out he had a deal. Color me disillusioned with the Jesse/Darcey love story LOL. 

Is that Darcy's clothing company logo?  

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5 minutes ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Is that Darcy's clothing company logo?  

Yep.  "Producer - please be sure to get the back of Jesse's jacket as he walks . . . "

It's advertised as a "women's fashion line."  But if Jesse will go along with the pretense of being interested in Darcey, wearing a women's jacket is a small price to pay for camera time. 

Edited by AZChristian
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3 hours ago, Major Bigtime said:

These two are the biggest blatant fakes that have ever been on the show. They are here to become “famous” and have no interest in getting married. I wish Sharp would stop casting people who have no true story.

There have been plenty of people on the show only to become famous. That boring dude from Florida living with his daddy with the uncouth Brazilian girl come to mind.

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55 minutes ago, Aw my lahgs said:

There have been plenty of people on the show only to become famous. That boring dude from Florida living with his daddy with the uncouth Brazilian girl come to mind.

Yes, Swiffer dad, the son who peddlers carp on EBay, and wife with the horrible ombre hair. Remember the classy "I'm hitched, biotch" t-shirts?

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 Every time Darcy mentions wanting to have kids I think back to an article I stumbled upon a long time ago. It was written by a fertility doctor and she was talking about how fertility drops as women get older. Her issue was with women who spent a lot of money on yoga classes, eating organic food, dressing in trendy clothing, dying their hair, and getting plastic surgery to look younger.  These women women would be shocked that doing all that didn't mean could still get pregnant in their late 40s.  They'd go to the doctor who wrote the article and say things like "but I look so young for my age! I must still be fertile! Why can't I get pregnant?"  I think Darcy is just as deluded. 

Edited by PityFree
  • Love 9
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5 hours ago, PityFree said:

 Every time Darcy mentions wanting to have kids I think back to an article I stumbled upon a long time ago. It was written by a fertility doctor and she was talking about how fertility drops as women get older. Her issue was with women who spent a lot of money on yoga classes, eating organic food, dressing in trendy clothing, dying their hair, and getting plastic surgery to look younger.  These women women would be shocked that doing all that didn't mean could still get pregnant in their late 40s.  They'd go to the doctor who wrote the article and say things like "but I look so young for my age! I must still be fertile! Why can't I get pregnant?"  I think Darcy is just as deluded. 

I was thinking the same thing. She would have a really hard time getting pregnant. And, if they did the sane thing and waited a year or two it would be nearly impossible. Jesse would need to give up on the idea of children if he married her, and I seriously doubt he could do that.

Also, she's NOT an independent woman. She's a needy, needy woman. That doesn't make her a bad person. She just needs to own that moving forward and find a man who is very reassuring because I don't see any of that changing.

I still haven't figured out Jesse, or rather The Alien Inhabiting Jesse's Body. (I didn't come up with that.) He might be enjoying the attention, the idea of being on television, etc. Who knows what he does when the two of them are an ocean apart, right?

Does he really enjoy parenting and analyzing Darcey? It's so strange.

Even Jesse's own stepdad was like, "What are you getting out of this?" And, Jesse couldn't answer.

Okay I must sleep now, and I must admit, Jesse's apartment looks quite cozy, even with the fake flames. It's cozy. I wouldn't mind sleeping there. Just not with him around. He'd be all like, "I've gone to great lengths for you to be at home and comfortable as possible in my apartment. Just don't touch anything."

Edited by CoachWristletJen
  • Love 6
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On 9/9/2017 at 3:17 AM, bethster2000 said:

Stinky.  Unclean.  Nasty.  Goes to bed with an unwashed face.  Drenches herself in perfume instead of freshening up after a long flight.

She's gross.

Going to bed without washing your face is really bad for your skin and will cause outbreaks.   She actually looks better without the clown mask makeup.

  • Love 6
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On 9/24/2017 at 7:08 PM, PityFree said:

Wow. Darcy has quite a five head in that pic. She does look better with lighter hair and a less harsh style (vs a stick straight, waist length, black, center parted Cher-do).

Have you seen the five head on him?  And overly botoxed/filled fivehead of HIS?!

She's no prize but that guy is not anywhere close to as attractive as he thinks he is.  Five head.  Overly groomed eyebrows.  Pockmarked skin.  No lips. He's got a great body yes, but that personality is as dull as fucking dishwater.  

I would love it if this season ended with the fog of desperation wearing off and she finally looks at him and realizes she could do better than a guy who is trying to make "Meesterisms" happen.

  • Love 15
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On 9/25/2017 at 3:46 PM, SoshulMeedya said:

Gummi hair vitamins

I used these for about two weeks and broke out in horrific cystic acne on my chin.  They were so inflamed and sore, I had to go to the dermotologist to have them lanced and drained and treated with strong antibiotics.  When she asked me if I had changed anything in my diet recently, etc., I told her about the vitamins and she said, "Yeah, that would do it."

Google it...it can cause more problems than it's worth.

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On 9/25/2017 at 7:44 AM, CoachWristletJen said:

Jesse's mom has an eccentric, youthful style but it's something more... I'm going to say organic for lack of a better word.  She clearly wears what she wants to wear. I'm going to resort to the cliche, she wears her clothes and her clothes don't wear her. Her style is a little wild, but it suits her, and she doesn't look like she's trying to recapture some lost youth. It's crazy and wild, take it or leave it, but it's not sad. I think his mom is adorable.

Meanwhile, Darcey probably spends what is proportionally a fortune trying to make herself look good, and her clothes are too young for her. And those neck things would be uncomfortable all the time.  She has too much makeup that she probably can't leave the house with and she would look so much better with somewhat shorter hair. It all looks uncomfortable. And not cool. It's like the mom in the movie who comes out wearing her daughter's clothes and everybody's like, what?

I would call it eccentric bohemian

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6 hours ago, sasha206 said:

Have you seen the five head on him?  And overly botoxed/filled fivehead of HIS?!

She's no prize but that guy is not anywhere close to as attractive as he thinks he is.  Five head.  Overly groomed eyebrows.  Pockmarked skin.  No lips. He's got a great body yes, but that personality is as dull as fucking dishwater.  

I would love it if this season ended with the fog of desperation wearing off and she finally looks at him and realizes she could do better than a guy who is trying to make "Meesterisms" happen.

Color me wrong, but I dont think Jesse is a douche, he just likes to wear the pants. I also think he has a taste for older women. His apartment looks like that of an older bachelor, complete with an old-fashioned painting of a naked voluptuous woman. This type of hookup is very common - a lot of guys have a story about how they had a fling with a cougar. 

Compare his behavior to Antonio's... he met up Darcy at the airport with roses, introduced her right away to his family and friends, let her stay in his tiny place for 6 whole weeks,..... She basically got a cheap European vacation out of this thanks to him. All she has to do is drink no more than a small glass of wine and come home NOW. 

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Jesse's mom is who she is, and she shows it.  She revels in it.  She shines.

Darcey is trying to be something she isn't.  She doesn't have any idea who she is, so she tries to be a Kardashian and 20 (30?) years younger than she is.  She has no style in her dress.  She's desperate and sad, and it shows.

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8 hours ago, bethster2000 said:

Jesse's mom is who she is, and she shows it.  She revels in it.  She shines.

Darcey is trying to be something she isn't.  She doesn't have any idea who she is, so she tries to be a Kardashian and 20 (30?) years younger than she is.  She has no style in her dress.  She's desperate and sad, and it shows.

Yes! The moment she told everyone the price of her ruined heels ("my $1,000 shoes!") she also told everyone that she was a fashion victim.

  • Love 11
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10 hours ago, Matias130 said:

Color me wrong, but I dont think Jesse is a douche, he just likes to wear the pants. I also think he has a taste for older women. His apartment looks like that of an older bachelor, complete with an old-fashioned painting of a naked voluptuous woman. This type of hookup is very common - a lot of guys have a story about how they had a fling with a cougar. 

Compare his behavior to Antonio's... he met up Darcy at the airport with roses, introduced her right away to his family and friends, let her stay in his tiny place for 6 whole weeks,..... She basically got a cheap European vacation out of this thanks to him. All she has to do is drink no more than a small glass of wine and come home NOW. 

Another YMMV.

I see a guy who seems to have no chemistry with her, even from the minute they met.  He has never seemed to be the slightest bit interested in her and didn't seem to give a rats ass about his stepfather's obnoxious comment to someone he supposedly cares enough about to spend weeks with her.  He's been trying to change her from day 1.  Granted, she's an immature, emotionally stunted woman who was more worried about looking hot in stilletos walking on cobblestone.  But since she's been there, he's told her what to wear,  how much makeup to wear, how much to drink, seems to be training her.  What exactly is it about this woman he likes?  I'm sure there are plenty of older women in Amsterdam he could shack up with.

I think she's genuine in her caring about him, although I think her caring is colored in her he's youthful and has a six-pack so therefore she MUST still have IT.  He's just looking to be on TV.  All of the "nice" things he does for her to me are just perfunctory intended to make himself look like a prize on camera.  After all, he claims to be expert in relationships -- part of his "Meesterisms."  I believe that is why we see such stilted reactions to her.  I mean, he can't even pull off a convincing "babe" when addressing her.

Edited by sasha206
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3 minutes ago, sasha206 said:

But since she's been there, he's told her what to wear,  how much makeup to wear

He might think that the 30 year old girl he saw in the pictures is hidden underneath the makeup and pleather.

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2 minutes ago, Drogo said:

He might think that the 30 year old girl he saw in the pictures is hidden underneath the makeup and pleather.

Ha, very good point.

I will say, she NEEDs to be told that.  Just like someone needs to tell that jackass that he needs to stop injecting that five head of his with whatever is giving it a waxy appearance and try to get those pockmarks lasered off.  In addition, stop overly grooming the eyebrows.  He isn't all that.

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I don't think that Darcy is a bad person, but I have a very hard time mustering up sympathy for her. She reminds me very much of a woman I know who is 44, yet acts like a 20 year old; always stunned and bewildered when her immature and irresponsible behavior gets her into a situation. The similarities are uncanny, right down to the too long, too dark, dried out hair (as if it's still 1989 and they're their old wishy-washy "fringe-goths" teen selves who think they're a lot cooler than they really are).

 

I think, as many have already said, Darcy hates the fact that she's now a middle-aged woman and she is fighting her age. She, like the woman I know, thinks that if she dresses young and acts young, that others will be fooled. I think she really believes that she is so good looking, that she is a MILF, and can therefore get away with whatever she wants, and then pouts when she's called out. I call bs that she's so concerned about her daughters. If she puts them first, then why the hell did she take off to Europe for a boy toy? She's headed into Danielle territory when she talks about how Jesse may affect her kids and how he's "practically their stepdad." She reeks of neediness and desperation. She's annoying as hell. She claims to be some independent woman, she's totally not. She's clingy and immature. I'm not a fan of Jesse, either, but I really can't stand Darcy. I'll also predicate that she is a master at playing the victim and manipulating people. 

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1 hour ago, sasha206 said:

Ha, very good point.

I will say, she NEEDs to be told that.  Just like someone needs to tell that jackass that he needs to stop injecting that five head of his with whatever is giving it a waxy appearance and try to get those pockmarks lasered off.  In addition, stop overly grooming the eyebrows.  He isn't all that.

I do think that he was shocked by her appearance. But they had formed some type of a emotional bond and he knew that she was there for an extended period of time. And she is far more than "acceptable" so he was giving it a shot and trying to be gentlemanly about it. Living in such close quarters when your personalities don't synch up is exhausting. I think that they are both losing their patience...

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11 minutes ago, spankydoll said:

I do think that he was shocked by her appearance. But they had formed some type of a emotional bond and he knew that she was there for an extended period of time. And she is far more than "acceptable" so he was giving it a shot and trying to be gentlemanly about it. Living in such close quarters when your personalities don't synch up is exhausting. I think that they are both losing their patience...

I'm sure.

However, after seeing his photos online, I'd be shocked by his appearance in person too.  I mean, he looks like the love child of Brad Pitt and Kurt Cobain in this photo he has on Facebook.  Yes, I know he wisely has covered up his massive forehead in this photo but i think his online photos look much better than seeing him live.  Maybe not as signficant a departure as the photos of Darcy that he's seen.  Seemingly they both video chatted right? Darcy's face is so wide that she probably looked fatter in a video chat.  And there's no way video chatting could have covered up her plastic surgery appearance.  Same with him.

21430186_1601479606558445_75578946974717.  

Edited by sasha206
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I think Jesse viewed this opportunity as a way to showcase his brand -- his "body, mind, pyschology" stuff.  Take a tacky AF chunky 40 something who he describes as "chaotic" and transform her into a lean machine in a manner of weeks and relax that chaotic lifestyle. And do this all within the six week period of their 90 day fiance visit! Then when she's this hot 40 something, post photos of her to showcase how his brand works. What he probably didn't bank on was having an emotionally stunted woman who expects a fairy tale to happen immediately and isn't interested in being molded by some 24 year old Svengali. Now he's thinking oh fuck, my brand isn't working. Better highlight what a belligerent drunk she is!

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1 hour ago, spankydoll said:

I do think that he was shocked by her appearance. But they had formed some type of a emotional bond and he knew that she was there for an extended period of time. And she is far more than "acceptable" so he was giving it a shot and trying to be gentlemanly about it. Living in such close quarters when your personalities don't synch up is exhausting. I think that they are both losing their patience...

I've been married for almost 30 years and I'd say we are compatible, but if I had to spend more than a week with my husband in such close quarters, there would be lots of fighting and it would not be a happy time. My husband would find his own space somewhere else.  I can't imagine spending 6 weeks like that with a virtual stranger. 

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