S08.E01: And Then There Were Five

[CofCinci]

New season. New cast member. New babies. 

Same ol' shit. 

 

Drinking game:

-Drink each time Cole is wearing an American flag. 

[GreatKazu]

Drink if Chelsea's hair is a ratted mess while she wears make-up. Check. 

Drink if Jenelle mentions how horrible Barbara is to her by not giving her Jace. Check

Mother Russia is soooooo frustrated. Check. 

Edited July 17, 2017 by GreatKazu
NOT was missing

[CofCinci]

Drink if Ali is encouraged to do an activity that her  MD specialists advised against. 

[politichick]

Why did they bring back that other chick? She was boring and she's obviously dumb as fuck getting knocked up a second time by someone she barely knows.

[GreatKazu]

Just now, politichick said:

Why did they bring back that other chick? She was boring and she's obviously dumb as fuck getting knocked up a second time by someone she barely knows.

Reads just like Kail. 

[Miss Chevious]

Drink if anyone's seat belt isn't fastened properly. And drink if Leah's vehicle is still full of random crapola falling all over the place.

[CofCinci]

42 minutes ago, politichick said:

Why did they bring back that other chick? She was boring and she's obviously dumb as fuck getting knocked up a second time by someone she barely knows.

They're all dumb as fuck. This one is back to show all the others that they are easily replaceable.  She (and others) will happily do the series for a quarter of the salary, allow complete access and never once yell "Monkey."

[ReadMeLattice]

Drink every time someone eats fast food, hot dogs, pizza, chicken fingers or fries. 

Edited July 18, 2017 by Lm2162

[Mkay]

Shot for every time Jenelle says "OMG Dude."

[Reppiks2897]

 Take a shot every time Janelle says "I'm pregnant dude, I can't do that"

[Mkay]

Maybe Kaiser acts out because he's always being shut in a room away from everyone. You constantly say he's bad, he gets you! I am so sad for the Roll.  

[ClassyCourtHeels]

Janelle clearly isn't a parent yet three kids.

 

Barb obviously raising Jace.

 

Nathan and now David raise Kai with the high chair and crib subbing when needed. Sure it's the same with ensley 

[Quilty]

The dolls tossed willy nilly in the back seat of Leah's car. Or maybe it was the girlses?

Janelle is so lazy! Nothing was packed or ready to go . She just sat on her ass and bitched. Poor Kaiser. Poor new baby. Lucky Jace.

[Ffiferoo]

Jenelle bitches about how she was crying and no one was paying attention to her.  Kaiser starts crying, so she gets out of the car, shuts the door and leaves him in there so she can keep complaining to a producer.  Ugh.

[ClassyCourtHeels]

You know you're off to a bad start to the season when the audience is constantly nodding in agreement with David

[Mr. Miner]

Karl still looks like someone's anus.

Janelle still is an anus. 

Edited July 18, 2017 by Mr. Minor

[Linny]

Right out the gate we have Jenelle sitting on her ass complaining because she might actually have to deign to get up and parent her child. She and David are such shitty people. They made no attempt to talk to Kaiser to calm him down, they didn't try to get him involved in an age appropriate task, they just yelled at him ineffectually. They showed zero compassion for a small child who was probably confused and uncertain about the chaos in the house as they prepared to move. Instead Jenelle did what she does best, cry and make everything about her. 

I don't know much about Briana, but she seems like an idiot. "I didn't think I could get pregnant, so I didn't bother to go on birth control." YOU HAVE A CHILD. Clearly you can get pregnant. Just be honest and admit you learned nothing from your past mistakes and are going to continue to make poor decisions.

Leah's kids were all clothed and appeared less feral than usual, so I'll say this was a pretty good week for her.

Watson's such a cutie that he's going to elevate that rather unfortunate name. Chelsea and Cole are adorable and normal and I'm happy to see the wonderful family they're raising.

LMAO that Kail's new baby daddy doesn't want to be mentioned on the show. Yeah, I wouldn't want the world to know that I had sex with Kail, either. Her refusal to talk about the situation on camera is a sure sign that she's embarrassed. I don't know what angle she was going for with this guy but it must not be working, so now she's scrambling for a new strategy. I'm interested to see how this all plays out, because Kail will for sure paint herself in the best light possible at the expense of everyone else.

[WhosThatGirl]

Well. That was underwhelming. Also I fast forwarded through all of new Girls scenes. And I have a reason: mtv aired all of the failed teen mom 3 season like a week ago and I was surprised I never realized this had apparently aired and I missed all of it so I watched and was like "this Brianna girl is going to bring nothing new to teen mom 2l" hence why I fast forward all of her scenes.

[poeticlicensed]

Janelle didn't have to deal with Jace as a toddler because barb had him. I am loving that Kaiser is totally high maintenance. I never had a doctor tell me not to pick up my kid while pregnant. 

[pheebs]

Red Flags a-plenty! Kaiser constantly yelled at, picked up and tossed around roughly and I'm sure is made to feel as if his very existence is "OMG, like, such a bother." Not to mention fist-high hole punch in the bathroom door, the angry throwing of furniture, and the generally awful vibes. She knows the cameras are there, right? Imagine the things we don't see? *starts looking up CPS's number*

[ClassyCourtHeels]

Leah already dropped out of school right?

[mxmummy]

Ugh! Janelle is a horrible mother. Why is she having another child? Poor Kaiser is just starved for attention. Makes me absolutely sick. David does not seem affectionate towards him either. 

[FlowerofCarnage]

Don't ever change, Jenelle! Your kid acting like a kid is so overwhelming for you but keep procreating?

So Brianna hasn't learned anything? Pregnant from a guy you barely know and you met him at "da club" 

Don't be shy, Kail! You aren't ashamed of being an unrepentant grifter, don't be ashamed that you're a jump off!

[fetching]

4 hours ago, Miss Chevious said:

Drink if anyone's seat belt isn't fastened properly. And drink if Leah's vehicle is still full of random crapola falling all over the place.

I kept thinking that she would return to her car after class to find her car window busted in after well meaning passers by thought she had forgotten her babies in the car, only to discover they were realistic looking life-sized dolls.

[Mkay]

39 minutes ago, ClassyCourtHeels said:

Leah already dropped out of school right?

I think so. I've asked twice today how her first yr of school went but no reply.  

Kail getting mad about the possibility of Javi being deployed again.  She was mad because she would have no one to throw Lincoln and Isaac on and she'd have to have 3 kids at one time.  She's a hateful witch and I took joy that she loled awful on that FaceTime conversation with Javi. Can't photoshop that, Kail. 

[heatherchandler]

2 hours ago, Quilty said:

The dolls tossed willy nilly in the back seat of Leah's car. Or maybe it was the girlses?

Janelle is so lazy! Nothing was packed or ready to go . She just sat on her ass and bitched. Poor Kaiser. Poor new baby. Lucky Jace.

I thought those dolls were the kids- I had to do a double take!

Leah seems scattered and out of it, is she still popping the pillses?

I am going to kidnap Kaiser and bring that sweet confused boy to my house where I will let him be a kid and smother him with love.  I'm kidding of course, but I really feel for that little boy.  He is tossed around like a rag doll, with zero regard for his feelings.  The constant screaming is terrifying for a small child.  It breaks my heart.

Oh Kail, you are still a cunt.

[ReadMeLattice]

What on Earth does Brianna add to this show beyond proving that some people will pretend until the end of time that they don't understand how condoms work? 

[BitterApple]

I'm only ten minutes in and I want to throat punch Jenelle. I understand pregnancy doesn't always bring out the best in women, but she is so emotionally abusive to Kaiser. Does it ever occur to her to take Kaiser and do puzzles or color or read books or do Play-doh? Those are all activities that she can do sitting on her ass. She is so fucking lazy.

Briana is really pretty but she brings nothing to the show.

Chelsea supplying her friends with booze in exchange for diapers?! That's my kind of party. 

Edited July 18, 2017 by BitterApple

[mamadrama]

44 minutes ago, heatherchandler said:

 

 

I am going to kidnap Kaiser and bring that sweet confused boy to my house where I will let him be a kid and smother him with love.  I'm kidding of course, but I really feel for that little boy.  He is tossed around like a rag doll, with zero regard for his feelings.  The constant screaming is terrifying for a small child.  It breaks my heart.

 

I'll drive the getaway car for you. Poor baby. 

[GreatKazu]

Aaaaaannnnd the pizza was referenced by Jenelle! *drink*

Kail: "I don't want to talk about it on television." After cashing her check from MTV.

Then get the fuck off my screen you stupid twat!

[salvame]

wellll, just changed my cable, so no longer get MTV.  I will have to rely on you folks to keep me up on the latest stupidity from all these "moms." How do I find the synopsis things that are somewhere on this forum?  

sounds pretty much like business as usual so far

[AmyFarrahFowler]

4 hours ago, Mkay said:

Maybe Kaiser acts out because he's always being shut in a room away from everyone. You constantly say he's bad, he gets you! I am so sad for the Roll.  

Said this almost verbatim to my husband. Sweet little Kaiser. He must go through his little life wondering what he did wrong in order to be constantly thrown in a crib.

3 hours ago, Ffiferoo said:

Jenelle bitches about how she was crying and no one was paying attention to her.  Kaiser starts crying, so she gets out of the car, shuts the door and leaves him in there so she can keep complaining to a producer.  Ugh.

Oh but did that piss me off. Leaves him in a dark car crying while she bitches to a producer about her poor life choices.

2 hours ago, heatherchandler said:

I thought those dolls were the kids- I had to do a double take!

Leah seems scattered and out of it, is she still popping the pillses?

I am going to kidnap Kaiser and bring that sweet confused boy to my house where I will let him be a kid and smother him with love.  I'm kidding of course, but I really feel for that little boy.  He is tossed around like a rag doll, with zero regard for his feelings.  The constant screaming is terrifying for a small child.  It breaks my heart.

Oh Kail, you are still a cunt.

Wouldn't you love to spend a week just hugging and kissing on that floofy face? I just love him.

[Meatball]

I have zero maternal instincts but I wanted to take Kaiser and do puzzles, arts and crafts, or something with him! Kids need activity! Yelling, ignoring, jerking him around and sticking him in a crib will only reinforce that he is a "bad child" and that takes YEARS to dig through before it hopefully chips away and doesn't affect one as an adult.

I never watched 16 and Pregnant for this bunch nor did I see the all of the seasons of Teen Mom 2, but do we like Javi? How does Kail allow Isaac to have that special bond with Javi? 

[SPLAIN]

44 minutes ago, Meatball said:

I have zero maternal instincts but I wanted to take Kaiser and do puzzles, arts and crafts, or something with him! Kids need activity! Yelling, ignoring, jerking him around and sticking him in a crib will only reinforce that he is a "bad child" and that takes YEARS to dig through before it hopefully chips away and doesn't affect one as an adult.

I never watched 16 and Pregnant for this bunch nor did I see the all of the seasons of Teen Mom 2, but do we like Javi? How does Kail allow Isaac to have that special bond with Javi? 

Kail pushed Javi to be Isaac's dad while doing her hardest to push Jo out of Isaac's life. Javi and Kail both went and bought a house in Delaware (where Javi was stationed) against the orders of a judge. What happened was, Kail went to court to ask the judge if she could move to Delaware because her spouse was in the military. In the meantime, the judge ordered her not to do anything until he/she gave her order. Javi asked her what will happen if the judge decides against her request. Kail's response was "Oh well."  She was given the green light to move, but she didn't expect Jo to move to Delaware from New Jersey. He bought a house one block away from her and Javi. LOL  Kail was pissed. Jo reminded her what he once said to her - he would go wherever his son was at. Javi established a close bond with Isaac. As much as it started out with Kail pushing the relationship and blatantly saying Javi was Isaac's dad while Javi being smug about the whole thing, acting as if Jo was some sort of deadbeat dad and giving Jo a rough time, Javi and Isaac established a close bond. In the end, Jo has been a great dad, never making Isaac feel bad for how he sees Javi. In fact, he is all for it. When Javi and Kail hit the skids and Isaac was informed of Javi having to live elsewhere, Jo helped to soothe the situation with his son and assuring him Javi was not walking out on his life.  Jo lives with his girlfriend with whom he is engaged. They have a daughter together. Jo has invited Javi and Lincoln over to his home and even invited them to his daughter's birthday party.  Jo knows the kids are all connected and share a bond. Javi has gotten much-deserved flack for that whole thing he did and how he treated Jo over the seasons. Jo feels their bond is important and it shouldn't cease simply because Kail made the choice to break up her family. At this point, Kail doesn't mind the close bond and encourages it only because she still reaps the benefits from it such as free babysitting which includes Javi's family who did a lot of the babysitting for Kail when they were married. Javi's mom was also their free house-keeper.

I personally feel Javi learned from that situation and realized Jo is not his enemy. Instead, it was his former wife who was doing him dirty.

I have to watch the new season episode tonight because I kept getting distracted and didn't get to see a lot of what happened. It sounds like it is the same ol' shit especially with Jenelle and Kail.

Edited July 18, 2017 by SPLAIN

[gotta watch]

How nice of a "family time" dinner did Jenelle's and David's kids have with Jenelle reading aloud the police report on Nathan? "He then got on top of her and was choking her..." GEEZ. David never stops talking bad about Nathan, that has to be a terrible example for not only the Roll but Jace and Ryssa as well. David's poor little girl never says a word. 

[NannyBails]

6 hours ago, salvame said:

wellll, just changed my cable, so no longer get MTV.  I will have to rely on you folks to keep me up on the latest stupidity from all these "moms." How do I find the synopsis things that are somewhere on this forum?  

sounds pretty much like business as usual so far

I dropped cable too, so no access to MTV.  Figured I could keep up with everything by reading this forum and it would save me the frustration of actually watching these chuckleheads.  

[alexa]

6 hours ago, salvame said:

wellll, just changed my cable, so no longer get MTV.  I will have to rely on you folks to keep me up on the latest stupidity from all these "moms." How do I find the synopsis things that are somewhere on this forum?  

sounds pretty much like business as usual so far

This isn't about the synopsis, but if you do want to watch it, you can watch the episodes online a day later at MTV site.  You just have to create a sign in and register.  It is a bit confusing when you first sign in as they seem to want you to pick a cable company, but even if you don't have one, and choose a cable company there is an option to sign in after that page.  I used to have cable, but do not any longer and have been able to just use my sign in to watch episodes.  I am not sure if they have that cable page first to make you think you should have cable to watch online?  I have no idea.  That said ,you are probably better off thinking you can't watch the episodes based on what people have said so far about this episode.  :-)

I am not sure if I will watch...last year I swore off the TM 2 version because of Kail and Jenelle--I was getting bothered that I was contributing to their money making to allow them to continue to be able to show the world how awful they are on TV.  I think they have not improved, so perhaps I will tune in for one episode to see Chelsea.  and then move on....

Just now, NannyBails said:

I dropped cable too, so no access to MTV.  Figured I could keep up with everything by reading this forum and it would save me the frustration of actually watching these chuckleheads.  

See my response above--this applies to you too :-)

[NannyBails]

Thanks for the instructions, Alexa.  I may try to watch, however all the comments about Kaiser are very upsetting to me.  I live a few hours away from Jenelle so technically COULD go kidnap Kaiser.  I fear if I actually saw the abuse, I'd jump in my car and go.   And we all know that Jenelle has some magic mojo over the NC court system, so I"d be the one going to jell.

Edited July 18, 2017 by NannyBails

[gotta watch]

NannyBails, I live far away, but I'll be glad to send $$. The situation is horrible. MTV is irresponsible to continue filming Jenelle. As bad as the other teen moms are, I usually don't doubt they actually love their children. Jenelle doesn't express anything to Kaiser beyond "Really Dude? Oh he's so bad." Breaks my heart.

[alexa]

I agree with you.  I found Jenelle and Kail very upsetting last year.  I couldn't take them anymore....

[ghoulina]

This show is pretty pointless considering we know everything that's happened. This was filmed, what? Six months ago? I did like seeing how excited Cole was to finally meet his baby, though. They're such a cute family. 

 

Leah's segments were pretty boring as well. College, blah blah blah, I'm going to drop out in 3 weeks, blah blah blah. 

I love all the Internet FUs she was serving up this week - "You can't just NOT brush your teeth!" "I don't want you to get full on a bunch of snack foods!" Sure, Leah, sure. 

Addie made me sad when she was upset about the girlses going to their dad and she couldn't go see hers.  This is what happens when you don't put a lot of through into how you build your family - kids scattered in all directions. It makes me sad. 

 

Kail and Javi are divorced. Yawn. Of course she wants a party. She only married him for the benefits. Her segments were pretty yawn too. It was mostly Javi, since her new lovah doesn't want to be on TV. (Afraid his other hoes will find out about her? There's a ringing endorsement.)

I know Javi has been an immature ass at times, but I can't help but feel for the kid. His love for those boys is so real. It about broke my heart when he had to break the news that he might end up back overseas again. I'll keep politics off the boards, but damn. There's no need to do this to our young men and women. The way he was just clinging to Lincoln and crying. This is not okay. I felt for all of them. And Isaac was so precious with his little note. Meanwhile Kail's over in Lala Land, dreaming about her new life. She sucks so hard. 

 

It was kind of lame how they used Javi to bring Brianna into the show. Ugh, Brianna's so pathetic. Laughing with her current baby daddy about how they met at the club and were pregnant one month later. How fucking stupid can you be? You already have a kid, he has a kid - you haven't figured this shit out by now??? 

What's up with Roxanne's health? First I've heard of any issues. 

 

Of course Jenelle has to bring the drama right off the bat. We all knew the fighting with her and Uncle ID would start sooner or later.  I really hate watching the way they treat Kaiser. He is not a loved child in that home, but treated as a huge hindrance in their lives. "I can't do this because of Kaiser, I can't do that because of Kaiser. Kaiser's so bad." Gee, I wonder what his future has in store for him? And the way they just yank him around, slam him into his seat, leave him in the car to cry. Jesus God Leah, someone get that kid out of there. 

Jenelle is such a helpless loser. She acts like being pregnant prevents her from doing anything but sitting on her ass all day. When I was pregnant with number 2, my husband was overseas. I took care of my one year old all by myself and even gave BIRTH without him there. My boys were 1 and 3 when I was pregnant with my daughter. I did the shopping, went to to doctor's appointments, took them to story time, etc. I didn't have a meltdown and lock myself in the closet at the prospect of even checking the mail on my own. 

Maybe if she spent more time engaging with her child and working with him on his behavior, instead of just yelling and throwing him in his bed, she wouldn't have these problems of him running off and not listening. He wants ATTENTION! 

But no, instead it's all about Jenelle. She is on the verge of freaking out 10 million times a day. "I'm going to flip the fuck out." "Dude!" "Leave me alooooone!" She gave us all the classics tonight. While David throws and breaks shit on the lawn. Yea, a bunch of winners right there. I want Marrissa to take those kids and go live in a fucking boxcar. They'd all be better off. 

[CofCinci]

I was in the Navy while pregnant. I still had to do everything!  Now, we timed it so that my husband and I were both on shore duty and not deployed but I still had to go to PT, still work insane hours, and be physically activr on the job. Janelle can't even lift Kaiser or even pretend to help out with the move?  Yeah, okay lady. 

[Spiderella2]

Watching this episode was rough. I hope MTV has added a clause in their contract that if they don't film X amount of hours, they won't get paid. 

First of all, I am glad MTV added a new cast member, I just wish it wasn't dumb-as-rocks Briana. She had too much screen time this episode, I guess to "introduce" her to everyone. I hope it will be less screen time net week because I truly don't care to watch her. Nova is a cute girl.

Kail's house this season will probably be cluttered and messy. Not surprising since Javi's mom is no longer her housekeeper. It's funny how she keeps trying to keep her new baby daddy's Chris Lopez's name off the show. The Internet figured out who he was the minute you ditched Javi. Cats already out of the bag with that one. If she is going to start refusing to film or be on camera from the very first episode, I hope MTV fires her. I'm so tired of seeing her sourpuss face. Did you notice how she tried to prevent Javi from coming in by blocking the door with her body when he dropped off Lincoln? He wasn't having it. I also noticed that Javi did do a cursory inspection on his way out of the house...probably checking to see if there was someone else in the residence. 

It was so sweet how the boys were comforting Javi when he teared up. I hope he finds a sweet woman who will love him and treat him well. Kail couldn't even be bothered to feel empathy towards his situation, and the fact that he might have to deploy again. She truly is a narcissist. 

To all the folks that mentioned that David is a future abuser, I think we now have concrete evidence. The hole in the door, the dragging of poor Kaiser (I feel so sorry for that boy), his blatant disrespectful way he speaks to women, he just brims with anger. He is stuck with these horrible people 24/7. At least with Nathan Roll gets some attention, stimulation, and affection. 

So Janelle can afford 2 brand-new cars but can't afford to pay for movers? All that stress would have been avoided if she just hired a moving company to pack up all her crap and move it for her. David ended up breaking most of her furniture, either on purpose or by accident (how he packed the pods).

I'm not buying the 'mold' issue as their excuse to move. There is something else going on that they aren't saying. Maybe they wanted to break the lease and mold is the only reason they could. I know moving can be stressful, but Janelle didn't help not one bit. She could have gone to get the keys earlier in the day. She could have taken Roll to a friends house, or went to the hotel earlier. Their whole lives have no planning whatsoever. You can tell he is so over her. Guess the bloom is off the rose. I'm suspecting their whole 'engagement' is going to be a bandaid to prolong a relationship that should have been over a year ago. David will pop the question just to get Janelle to shut-up dude. 

Of course Chelsea's scenes give us a taste of normalcy in this wasteland of tragedy. But Watson though? I'm not feeling that name but to each their own. 

And then there is Leah, who started school but gave up the second it got too hard. Again. She looked cute with her makeup done for the first day of school, otherwise not much to go on. 

Edited July 18, 2017 by Spiderella2
More points

[ghoulina]

9 hours ago, Mkay said:

Kail getting mad about the possibility of Javi being deployed again.  She was mad because she would have no one to throw Lincoln and Isaac on and she'd have to have 3 kids at one time.

Exactly. Don't worry about the mental and physical toll it takes on these guys, being sent back over to a war zone constantly. No, you'll lose one of your free babysitters. "Ohhhhh, Jooooo!"

 

24 minutes ago, Spiderella2 said:

I'm not buying the 'mold' issue as their excuse to move. There is something else going on that they aren't saying. Maybe they wanted to break the lease and mold is the only reason they could.

Maybe they were evicted and needed to rush to get out of there. But they didn't want to admit it. 

[IgnoranceisBLISS]

36 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

I want Marrissa to take those kids and go live in a fucking boxcar

@ghoulina this is hilarious!!!!!!

They can set it up in Barb's backyard. 

Edited July 18, 2017 by IgnoranceisBLISS

[Yolo]

11 hours ago, Reppiks2897 said:

 Take a shot every time Janelle says "I'm pregnant dude, I can't do that"

I wanted to reach through the tv when she kept saying that, the whole helpless act made me fucking sick!! No idea why this show is back on. A cluster fuck of baby mamas with no fucking clue whatsoever. 

[ReadMeLattice]

How they treat Kaiser reminds me of those poor abused dogs she and last baby daddy had...they were always talking about how bad the dogs were, yelling at them, etc. Because they are HUGE dogs trapped in uncomfortable wire cages with no food or attention for hours upon hours, assholes. Of course they're not going to behave!! That is basic logic. 

I feel bad for Marissa too. God knows what she's seen. 

Edited July 18, 2017 by Lm2162

[CofCinci]

58 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

Maybe they were evicted and needed to rush to get out of there. But they didn't want to admit it. 

The lease was originally just Janelle and Kaiser.  Fast forward a year, now you have David, Marissa, more Jace, a baby on the way, half a dozen of dogs, and a boat in the driveway. The landlord doesn't want all that in the rental. 

[ghoulina]

8 minutes ago, CofCinci said:

The lease was originally just Janelle and Kaiser.  Fast forward a year, now you have David, Marissa, more Jace, a baby on the way, half a dozen of dogs, and a boat in the driveway. The landlord doesn't want all that in the rental. 

No shit. OT kind of, but I once had a landlord make me sign a paper that I wouldn't move a guy in. He liked renting to single people and had had trouble with people moving their girlfriends and boyfriends in and then there were issues when the lease was up and I don't know.....his place, his prerogative. I was single AF, so I didn't care. 

[FlowerofCarnage]

I hope Jenelle and Uncle ID channel break up before Jace and Maryssa become Tyler and Catelynn 2.0. And speaking of Maryssa, her mother must be a real piece of work if David was awarded custody of her.

 Nova is such a cutie-patootie and would be perfect for child modeling.