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Joe & Kendra: Looking Forward To Side Hugs


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2 hours ago, galaxychaser said:

No one is immune to mental illness. Having a baby every year is hard on the body/brain. I wish Kendra well and hope they stop at 3-4. 

Andrea Yates had schizophrenia, which is genetic and not catching.

Kendra is more likely to end up like Michelle.

1 hour ago, Patricia07 said:

Grandma Jane (Bates) tried to explain it to Alyssa and it hasn't helped. 

Alyssa's next blessing will be almost three years younger than her last. That seems to be deliberate, because of health reasons for Alyssa. I think they (Alyssa and John)  will have fewer kids than her parents and slow down/stop at some point. 

I don't expect Joe and Kendra to slow down.

I really think Joe has to make that decision as the headship that a smaller family would be nice. 

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10 minutes ago, galaxychaser said:

To be fair any “schooling” they receive will be subpar/useless. 

True.

But I do wonder whether any of them will have some inkling of that and worry about it some. Because that would be another burden. ....And even these poorly educated people might notice at some point that their kids weren't even, say, reading or adding as well as they did at that age....I mean, just because you've learned to do something doesn't mean you can teach it, especially without learning how. ...

And Joe and Bin, etc., won't have tv shows or businesses to hand on to their kids because they're only making their pittance by taking it from JB and doing little chores for him......If their kids are really badly schooled, it'll be even more of a burden to those kids than it is to the current Duggarlings -- because this next generation isn't going to have a tv money tree or a full real-estate business.....

I hate to think that none of them is likely to give a crap that they're schooling their kids miserably.....I know that's possible. But if so, then that's another huge WTF -- and OMG these people are a curse not only to their own kids but to our nation and our world -- seems to me....

 

Edited by Churchhoney
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3 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

True.

But I do wonder whether any of them will have some inkling of that and worry about it some. Because that would be another burden. ....And even these poorly educated people might notice at some point that their kids weren't even, say, reading or adding as well as they did at that age....I mean, just because you've learned to do something doesn't mean you can teach it, especially without learning how. 

I hate to think that none of them is likely to give a crap that they're schooling their kids miserably.....I know that's possible. But if so, then that's another huge WTF -- and OMG these people are a curse not only to their own kids but to our nation and our world -- seems to me....

 

I think the older Duggar girls have no idea how to teach home schooling - I can't remember the history, but in theory it seems Michelle taught and then Jessa took it over when they all had the TLC gifted computers.. so no experience in picking a program or setting a schedule etc. in their experience they all sat through the same lessons - perpendicular and bankruptcy whether they were 16 or 6. same lesson for all ages. this was shown recently with Jana and the "art lesson" everyone, no matter what age/ability was expected to do the same thing

do any of them know when their kids should begin reading on writing?

this is where I think Jer and Derick are different from the duggar guys, they know. not sure about Kendra, Abbie and Lauren. Bin maybe knows but he goes with what Jessa says and is schooling the lost girls and probably the m kids. Sadly, Garrett will most likely join the class soon

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43 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

The thing about Kendra's situation (and any other similar, like Kendra's mother's situation) that for me moves it from OMG to "this is completely unimaginable!" is that when Blessing #1 turns 5 or 6, the mother must then open a school for that blessing. And teach that blessing school-like subjects of some kind for some significant chunk of the day. At the very same time that Blessings aged 0 to 5 are loose in the same general area doing and needing all the things that kids aged 0 to 5 do and need all day. And while the mother is not only responsible for managing all that vast miscellany of needs....but must also keep the house from falling down or getting into a state in which smaller children are lost because they're buried in dirt, wash the clothes, wash the dishes, keep all these people -- and herself and her husband -- fed.....ETC.

And of course, quite soon after this starts, mom may soon be pregnant again. And you have to keep up the school part of it for 12 years per kid.

Completely, totally, absolutely unimaginable.

Don't forget to add "be joyfully available" to that list. 

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1 hour ago, Nysha said:

To be fair, the Duggar grandchildren are getting a lot more than the Duggar kids ever got, but that will stop once the TLC money is gone and they realize none of them have any work experience or reliable job skills.

For now they're getting more,  but remember that Michelle didn't seem to totally give up on parenting until she got to 7 kids.  Josh even attended regular kindergarten.  Kendra isn't even halfway there. Yet.  I am not impressed that any of the Duggars have the kind of coping skills needed to raise a large family successfully, a lot of people don't.

The Duggar kids have also been raised to believe that they don't need any special training or experience to do skilled labor; that they're special and no job is beyond them.  They can do electrical work after spending half an hour with an electrician.  They haven't learned that many things worth doing require an investment in time and training.  In addition to their lack of a basic education; they've been raised to be arrogant and to look down on formal education and not to value the process.

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Kendra's parents are fundie, started having kids at around the same age she did, and "only" have eight kids. Yes, there are large gaps between some Caldwells (two years, four years, three years), but maybe Kendra's fertility will start to wane and she'll have Caldwell numbers rather than Duggar numbers. Please, dear dog. 

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4 hours ago, marypat57 said:

I am the oldest of 8.  The 5th was born right after I started 1st grade (I had just turned 6).  #6 was born almost 4 years after #5, #7 was born 18 months after #6.  My mother came close to dying when #7 was born, due to a ruptured placenta previa, and I assume was told not to have another child. #8 was born 3.5 years after #7.   She had a hysterectomy when#8 was in 2nd grade.

Two of my siblings had 3 children each, two of them had 2 children each, and one brother had 1 child.  One brother and his wife were unable to have children and two of us have never married. 
I remember seeing the relief statue on the front of my Catholic elementary school, of a family that showed a mom, dad, boy and girl.  I remember thinking that was strange because I didn’t think any family had only 2 children (it was the early 60s).  I do remember visiting a classmate who was an only child and thinking it very strange that there was a bedroom in her house that no one slept in....

I can only hope that Joe and Kendra can take into account the emotional health and well being of any children they may have.  But then again, they may not.

I've mentioned before that Mr Jyn is the oldest of 7, with a span of 9 years, 3 months between the first and the last. The first was born when his mom was 20, and the last before she turned 30. His father did finally resort to a vasectomy after that.

Now, I don't know how much of it is due to the family dynamic, and how much is genetic, because his dad was definitely an extremely prickly individual, borderline physically abusive, and very likely emotionally abusive. He had mellowed a lot by the time I met him, and mellowed even more after he stopped drinking, but by then his health was close to being shot. In any case, most of the siblings are pretty much what one would describe as volatile control freaks. They do have iron cores of integrity, and a fierce work ethic, but are not easy to get along with. 

At least Joe and Kendra seem to have a very happy relationship, and pretty easygoing personalities. I once knew (fairly briefly, since everyone in the Navy tends to move around so much and we lost contact) a woman in a fundie marriage who reminded me of Kendra, with the same sort of endless patience, sunny disposition and effortless energy. She had 8 kids when I first knew her, and had two more over the next three years, and they were always immaculately clean, nicely dressed, polite, and seemingly quite intelligent and outgoing. I heard that she had two more in the next few years, then died of cancer. I always wondered what happened to the family. But point being that I can see Kendra being one of those types of people, who will keep popping out baby after baby and take it all in stride. Though hopefully with a better final outcome.

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Sometimes I wonder just how much these fundies REALLY understand the birds and bees. I mean of course they know that intercourse can be for procreation, but I mean beyond that - how much do they really know about the mechanics and the biology behind it. 

What I am saying is that perhaps these fundies are genuinely surprised when they find themselves expecting because they ascribe it all (and I mean ALL) to God blessing them.

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7 hours ago, madpsych78 said:

Sometimes I wonder just how much these fundies REALLY understand the birds and bees. I mean of course they know that intercourse can be for procreation, but I mean beyond that - how much do they really know about the mechanics and the biology behind it. 

What I am saying is that perhaps these fundies are genuinely surprised when they find themselves expecting because they ascribe it all (and I mean ALL) to God blessing them.

I think they know the basic logistics as to what needs to happen to make babies.  What they don't seem to know is how to deviate from that and get almost the same feeling without the risk of procreating.  I also think Joe and Kendra will continue to make babies because she is sexually attracted to Joe and likes sex.  

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17 hours ago, Angeltoes said:

I have a feeling it was more a case of Kendra thinking,"I'm tired but this will only take 30 seconds.  Might as well make him happy."

Ummm I don’t think so. I see the way she looks at Joe. And she’s a 22yrs old woman. She’s got a need for partnered sex like 90+ % of us (not denying asexual people exist). 

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27 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I think they know the basic logistics as to what needs to happen to make babies.  What they don't seem to know is how to deviate from that and get almost the same feeling without the risk of procreating.  I also think Joe and Kendra will continue to make babies because she is sexually attracted to Joe and likes sex.  

I think for them procreating isn’t a “risk”. I have no doubt Kendra WANTS to be pregnant. It’s not something she feels she needs to avoid. Now if one day that changes for her I don’t think Joe is the type that would guilt trip or coerce or rape her- and force her to have kids against her will. 
 

And yes I agree Joe and Kendra are hot for each other and sex is fun. 

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26 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

I think for them procreating isn’t a “risk”. I have no doubt Kendra WANTS to be pregnant. It’s not something she feels she needs to avoid. Now if one day that changes for her I don’t think Joe is the type that would guilt trip or coerce or rape her- and force her to have kids against her will. 

And yes I agree Joe and Kendra are hot for each other and sex is fun. 

I agree. Also, I don't think they are ignorant of the facts of procreation. Remember, Joe grew up in a house where his mother's fertility cycles were tracked on a calendar by his sisters. And that calendar was hanging up for all to see in the kitchen. He had to have absorbed some information from all that. Joe and Kendra are good little Quiverfull fundies who are living the values their parents instilled in them. And of course, while enmeshed in Joe's family of origin and financially dependent on the JB Duggar business empire including the TLC money. 

Kendra not only wants to be pregnant, and she and Joe are hot for each other, but they appear to be quite the fertile couple. I don't wish them harm and I hope they manage to have a decent life with what seems likely to be at least half a dozen kids if not more. 

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6 hours ago, Jeeves said:

I agree. Also, I don't think they are ignorant of the facts of procreation. Remember, Joe grew up in a house where his mother's fertility cycles were tracked on a calendar by his sisters. And that calendar was hanging up for all to see in the kitchen. He had to have absorbed some information from all that. Joe and Kendra are good little Quiverfull fundies who are living the values their parents instilled in them. And of course, while enmeshed in Joe's family of origin and financially dependent on the JB Duggar business empire including the TLC money. 

Kendra not only wants to be pregnant, and she and Joe are hot for each other, but they appear to be quite the fertile couple. I don't wish them harm and I hope they manage to have a decent life with what seems likely to be at least half a dozen kids if not more. 

I especially look forward to Kendra teaching young children to read and do math and following up that stunt by teaching the entire high-school curriculum, so they can award all the blessings "Little Duggar Academy Diplomas" and pretend that means something. She seems to me to be a person who'll be totally up to doing that......

Or, I suppose, just send them to Bin.

In either case, I predict her kids will quickly suss out the methods of cheating six ways to Sunday in the homework and testing sections of their computerized "school" and swoop through the 12 grades without actually reading a page of their "lessons" or learning a damn thing except how to diss actual schools and the people who attend them with insults of many varieties, just like their parents and grandparents.

Edited by Churchhoney
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1 hour ago, Zella said:

I haven't seen this mentioned, but on the topic of the tackiness of the timing of the announcement (on Joy's due date), didn't Joe also propose to Kendra at Joy's wedding?

Maybe he's getting back at her for her earlier apostasy when he had to rein in her alleged doubts about the validity of the Duggar/IFB/Gothard way.

Having to waste your proselytizing skills on a sibling who ought to know better since you share the same super-godly parents is really a waste, you know. 

 

Edited by Churchhoney
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1 hour ago, crazy8s said:

Kendra's mom must still be teaching some of her kids. maybe Garrett will go to the caldwell school with his uncle who is the same age

Here, Mom. After your homeschooling of me, I don't feel fully confident about teaching my kids through high school (as the law requires -- although I don't think that matters much to the Caldwells). So you take 'em on. 😁

That may work with Garrett, who can just piggyback on his same-age uncle. But I'm not sure mom'll want to do it for Kendra's additional blessings! By the time Garrett and whatshisname are done, she'll have been teaching kids for 30-years-plus while mostly raising smaller ones at the same time. I think you'd look forward to stopping at that point. 

Edited by Churchhoney
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5 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

Maybe Joe and Kenda will inherit the show!  I'm sure they will eventually retire Counting On and have a start up show with one of the youngers.

Joe and Kendra are sweet and well liked.  It could be them!

Gosh no they are so Boring. Joe is shy and quiet and Kendra comes across shy sometimes and that giggling I’ll pass. What could they film of Joe & Kendra? Kendra at home with loads of kids running around and Joe “working” at the car lot. I don’t think they even go anywhere, How interesting 🥱 

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5 hours ago, Temperance said:

Joe needs to be more thirsty if they keep reproducing at this rate. 

I have a feeling he may just believe that the Lord will provide.

I would hope he (and the other Duggarlings) would be giving some thought to how they'll cope with the growing child hordes if Jim Bob and  TLC don't turn out to be an actual loaves-and-fishes miracle for the whole family.

But I wonder whether the patriarch-is-the-umbrella-that-saves-you-from-everything thinking is so ingrained they can't allow themselves to think beyond it. I assume being a real go-getter in their situation would require thinking and acting beyond what JB wants of them. (i.e., demands of them, really) And maybe they're so infantilized they can't imagine doing that without fearing God will strike them down. .... I wish I weren't sort of serious when I say that, but I am.

Edited by Churchhoney
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10 hours ago, Churchhoney said:

I have a feeling he may just believe that the Lord will provide.

I would hope he (and the other Duggarlings) would be giving some thought to how they'll cope with the growing child hordes if Jim Bob and  TLC don't turn out to be an actual loaves-and-fishes miracle for the whole family.

But I wonder whether the patriarch-is-the-umbrella-that-saves-you-from-everything thinking is so ingrained they can't allow themselves to think beyond it. I assume being a real go-getter in their situation would require thinking and acting beyond what JB wants of them. (i.e., demands of them, really) And maybe they're so infantilized they can't imagine doing that without fearing God will strike them down. .... I wish I weren't sort of serious when I say that, but I am.

Joe does have a real estate license so that's something. 

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16 hours ago, Temperance said:

Joe does have a real estate license so that's something. 

I wonder whether JB really encourages the kids who have things like this that could be used kind of independently or at least aggressively on JB's behalf or to be independent or aggressive at all (which they'll need to be as he gets older and they get more kids) or whether he damps them down in some way. I wonder whether he'd really encourage and help out a son who gave signs of becoming a real-estate star? I'd think it'd be to everybody's ultimate benefit -- even his -- if he did. .... We don't seem to have seen any such thing yet, though, anyway..... I wonder whether that's because the kids are just too young and inexperienced yet, aren't talented, don't have much of a work ethic,...or something else.

Joe and Kendra; Counting. But we're not too good at math.

Edited by Churchhoney
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1 hour ago, Temperance said:

Joe does have a real estate license so that's something. 

And if they were smart, they could create their own Real Estate company and all the howlers could work at it.  In a ramshackle way I think that's basically what they are doing at this point aside from the fledgling Champion Autos.

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1 minute ago, BigBingerBro said:

And if they were smart, they could create their own Real Estate company and all the howlers could work at it.  In a ramshackle way I think that's basically what they are doing at this point aside from the fledgling Champion Autos.

I was just envisioning a Howler real estate company. And I started giggling about the idea of enforcing the "Coffee is for closers" rule on them. I bet nobody in that office would drink coffee for an eternity, the poor ignorant bastards. 

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8 hours ago, Churchhoney said:

I wonder whether JB really encourages the kids who have things like this that could be used kind of independently or at least aggressively on JB's behalf to be independent or aggressive at all (which they'll need to be as he gets older and they get more kids) or whether he damps them down in some way. I wonder whether he'd really encourage and help out a son who gave signs of becoming a real-estate star? I'd think it'd be to everybody's ultimate benefit -- even his -- if he did. .... We don't seem to have seen any such thing yet, though, anyway..... I wonder whether that's because the kids are just too young and inexperienced yet, aren't talented, don't have much of a work ethic,...or something else.

Joe and Kendra; Counting. But we're not too good at math.

No, there's no chance.

Joe's "real estate license" is 100% to save money on the buying and selling of real estate for their "flipping" business. I don't believe for one second that he would be allowed to work with buyers or sellers from outside the cult. If one of them actually had a talent, I think that JB would do whatever he had to do to discourage that child. Can you imagine how angry JB would be if one of his sons was successful outside of his "umbrella of authority?"

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15 hours ago, Churchhoney said:

I wonder whether JB really encourages the kids who have things like this that could be used kind of independently or at least aggressively on JB's behalf to be independent or aggressive at all (which they'll need to be as he gets older and they get more kids) or whether he damps them down in some way.


He must damp them down, because a lot of the careers the kids have been interested in could have been used independently. Josh being a lawyer, Siah being an accountant, even Jessa being a hairdresser or Jill going into nursing.


The other thing that holds them back, of course, is education. Most of them can’t even pass the GED, let alone the bar or CPA exam! But their terrible “education” is another instance of JB damping down their independence, too.

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7 hours ago, cmr2014 said:

No, there's no chance.

Joe's "real estate license" is 100% to save money on the buying and selling of real estate for their "flipping" business. I don't believe for one second that he would be allowed to work with buyers or sellers from outside the cult. If one of them actually had a talent, I think that JB would do whatever he had to do to discourage that child. Can you imagine how angry JB would be if one of his sons was successful outside of his "umbrella of authority?"

Yeah, that's what I think, too.

But I know that this opinion of JB is not a universal opinion....so.....just asking in case anybody has evidence that things are otherwise!

....Can you imagine how angry JB would be if one of his sons turned out to be the top seller or moneymaker in JB's own real-estate business!? THOU SHALT NOT TOP POP! is a commandment around there, I think.

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I think at least one of the reasons careers weren't supported in the Duggar family was because the kids would have to be educated with worldly students, by worldly teachers. I'm guessing if JB & M could have sent their kids to accredited schools run only by Fundies, Josh might be a lawyer and Jill might be a nurse. I think they would love to brag about their children having real jobs, but not at the risk of them becoming sinners.

As far as Joe having a real estate license, he's learning the family trade, working with JB and a couple of other Fundies. I think this is acceptable and if JB is as cheap as he says he is, he's probably hoping at least some of his kids start pulling in some money.

Does JD have a real estate license? Abbie made a comment about having to get used to not having a "weekly income" and feeling okay with how their income is. Do we know what JD does (other than TLC)?

6 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

I think at least one of the reasons careers weren't supported in the Duggar family was because the kids would have to be educated with worldly students, by worldly teachers. I'm guessing if JB & M could have sent their kids to accredited schools run only by Fundies, Josh might be a lawyer and Jill might be a nurse. I think they would love to brag about their children having real jobs, but not at the risk of them becoming sinners.

Liberty University & Bob Jones University are both accredited Fundy colleges, plus there is Clown College that seems to take anyone. I don't know about BJU, but Liberty has online classes. JB & M had a lot of options. JB does not want his children to out shine him or move beyond his sphere of control.

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27 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

I'm guessing if JB & M could have sent their kids to accredited schools run only by Fundies, Josh might be a lawyer and Jill might be a nurse.

16 minutes ago, Nysha said:

Liberty University & Bob Jones University are both accredited Fundy colleges, plus there is Clown College that seems to take anyone. I don't know about BJU, but Liberty has online classes. JB & M had a lot of options. JB does not want his children to out shine him or move beyond his sphere of control.

 

Yes, Liberty University, Bob Jones University, Patrick Henry College -- there are a lot of colleges that are specifically targeted at the fundie homeschooler who wants/needs a degree, because there are A LOT of those kids. There is no reason that the Duggar kidults couldn't have been homeschooled with the goal of the GED and then matriculation into a conservative fundamentalist college.

It would only have been helpful to JB if he could have had a lawyer son, an accountant son, etc etc etc....Or a contractor son, a plumber son, an electrician son. It's not just that none of the kidults have gone into white collar work that requires lots of degrees, none of them have gone into ANY skilled work that would allow them financial independence from their father. The closest is JD, who flies Daddy around on Daddy's planes and is living in an outbuilding on Daddy's property. (eyeroll)

And I also find it hard to believe that out of 19 children, NONE of them would enjoy learning and studying -- just plain old mental stimulation! -- and would feel drawn to study if they had that option. Jana is sitting there drawing still life after still life and gardening until her hands bleed, don't tell me that that woman wouldn't jump at some mental stimulation if she could get it without upsetting Lolli/Pops lol

I think the issue is the family dynamic more than religion. Everybody's gotta stay under JB's thumb *cough* I mean "umbrella."

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40 minutes ago, Nysha said:

Liberty University & Bob Jones University are both accredited Fundy colleges, plus there is Clown College that seems to take anyone. I don't know about BJU, but Liberty has online classes. JB & M had a lot of options. JB does not want his children to out shine him or move beyond his sphere of control.

BJU!!!! I just snorted out loud and scared my dog! Apparently I am still 14 years old! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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