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S03.E09: Week 5, Night 2

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A bachelorette decides to leave Paradise after a confrontation with a jealous woman. Meanwhile, a passive bachelor takes control of his heart and decides to leave to pursue love with his Paradise connection, which leaves a jealous woman shocked and tearful that her plan to get rid of her competition backfired.

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"(Sob!) I think everyone in the world needs a Jared! (Snort!) He makes everything better. (Whaaaaaaah!)" Uh, no thanks. I'm good. 

Thank Fleiss that Jared left with Caila! I was afraid he wasn't even going to say goodbye to her the way he immediately ran to Ashley.

Everyone is completely shocked and think Ashley is a changed woman if she can go 5 minutes without erupting into hysterics. Even the Old Faithful Geyser has some down time. And she admits to faking trying to act normal and keeping her emotions under wraps. If she had trouble finding a date before this show, she better hope that any man she meets in the future doesn't have a TV or a friend who's "helpful" about pointing out Ashley's flaws like she was with Caila. 

Izzy says there's not one person she was interested in before Brett. Hellooooo? Did you forget how you were "in it to Vin it" spending every moment with Vinny as one of the It Couples?!

Loved Wes's description of Shushanna. You can tell he's getting more action in one day than he typically does in a year, and he doesn't know how to handle it.

Amanda's untouched dinner is chicken or fish with two limp pieces of asparagus laying over the top and stuck with one cherry tomato on a toothpick. Things were said, but I couldn't get over that ridiculous single cherry tomato on a toothpick.

Huh? Why would they make it seem like Nick is going to propose to Jen and she'd say no? He basically said he's lukewarm about her at best last night. I call editing shenanigans

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I finally understand the unbreakable link between Ashley and Jared! They are time travelers! Last night she slipped by saying Hanson is her favorite band. Tonight Jared pledged his allegiance to Rob Thomas. How did the editors let such anachronisms slip by them?

But seriously. Rob Thomas? That explains a lot. 

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7 minutes ago, DEL901 said:

That Ashley I has such class.  "The Russian prostitute"?

Well, at least Jami only got called a "random Canadian ".   Seriously, even if she's playing a part , calling two cast members hooker/whore is pretty uncalled for.   What a nasty little puke she's turned out to be.   Man, I just wish she would get up in Laces face and get her stupid clock cleaned.   Sometimes a clueless idiot like her Needs a good  shot in the kisser.  God how I hate her, and not in a love  to hate way, but a I wish she would be deported to an uninhabited island where they do weird medical experiment with zombies way.  

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What was the de with the smashed lamp? On the beach no less. Bugged the crap out of me, the glass went everywhere.

Amanda is so dim she deserves Josh.

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OMG! My ear drums have been shredded by Lauren's voice!  The nasal tone and accent were steel tipped fingernails on the world's longest chalkboard. And that's a hard looking 25 years she's wearing. 

Thank goodness Jared left with Caila.  I'm not invested in their relationship and could not care less if those two end up together.  I'm just glad I don't have to see or hear the two of them mention CrazyPants Ashley in every.single.conversation.

is Ashley employed? I mean a real job, with health benefits; not just showing up in Mexico every summer with her trunk o' false lashes. I sure hope so because at 28 she can't take advantage of her parents' health insurance any more.  And if anyone on the planet needs long term analysis, it's Ashley.

Loved the voyeuristic lizards watching Carly and Evan making out...up until Evan had to tell us he had a bonner.

How many more episodes do we have to hear Amanda, in her pwecious widdle baby voice, tell us how confused over Josh and his intentions she is?  Amanda seems like she'd be confused by a game of peek-a-boo, so I don't know if she has the brain cell capacity to see him for the d-bag bro the rest of the world can ascertain within 5 minutes of screen time.  

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Lauren's accent is killing me. Not her fault. But good god. 

I haven't finished the episode yet so I don't know what happens....but ewwww... is josh going to propose? Could this be any faker?

Edited by woodscommaelle
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52 minutes ago, clubsauce said:

Tonight Jared pledged his allegiance to Rob Thomas. How did the editors let such anachronisms slip by them?

But seriously. Rob Thomas? That explains a lot. 

What happened? I don't remember this.

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I'm not as down on Josh as the rest of you. I don't think he is a great catch, but no worse than any of these other guys. My thoughts:

Nick has tried everything and anything to stay in the limelight. I don't believe anything he says. Also, he had a different relationship with Andi than Josh did. Josh was engaged to Andi, lived with her, travelled with her etc. Nick dated her on a TV show and had a night in a fantasy suite. So I believe it is possible that what she said about Nick is true but what she says about Josh is only her side of the story. 

A lot of what the fellow islanders say is on the order of "He looks like he might do this" or "He might say that" People should be judged on their actions, not what they may possibly do. In regard to the bed thing: I think it is odd to sleep with someone every night, then one night go off to a different bed by yourself without saying goodnight or I'm going to bed. I would never do that with my husband. I found it strange that all of the people were standing around watching Amanda sleep so my verdict is total set up.

There is no way Nick wants to give Jen a ring, so once again we are treated to trickery of some sort. The rest of the people are very dull. Ashley makes no sense, even in her deluded state. She cries over Jared, one minute later cries over Wells, then is happy again. Wells seems very rehearsed to me too. I think the only guys ( the new ones I don't know enough about), who act relatively normal are Grant and Evan. Everyone else male and female is playing some kind of part. 

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I am just watching now but driven to comment before I finish.  Amanda's voice is impossible to tolerate..  Go with the abuser, it is your choice, no sympathy for you.  You see his anger, you have been warned, your choice.   AND,  loose the extensions, it has been over for 3 years and you look cheap.  She has a pretty face and body, her hair detracts from that.  Cut your hair to shoulder length or shorter and go for a style that suits your petite body.  Yeah, I am cranky.  I had to get a new credit card (mine was compromised) and spent 6 hours online changing all of my affairs.  So fuck you both Josh and Amanda!  LOL 

Edited by wings707
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I don't get why three guys had to be sent home last night's episode, just so three women could join the group.  It seems like there are a lot of missed opportunities there,  several potential couples that never happen because they miss meeting each other by one day.

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I like Evan and Carly. What has happened to me? I even find him better looking than I did when this started. What is happening to me? I wish we saw more of these two than most of the others. What has happened to me?

I like Nick. Josh is gross. Amanda is a moron.

All the false eyelashes are ridiculous.

That's all I have.

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1 minute ago, backformore said:

I don't get why three guys had to be sent home last night's episode, just so three women could join the group.  It seems like there are a lot of missed opportunities there,  several potential couples that never happen because they miss meeting each other by one day.

Production is manipulating on the fly for the most drama.  This time I applaud them because this is one show that I watch to see that train wreck.  Twins done, gone.  Boys offer nothing, gone.  I am enjoying the ride. 

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Really Amanda, when you are considering possibly feeling bad about "Not listening to everybody." You need to take a step back and assess.

I also find it absolutely heinous that she would be thinking about getting engaged to someone who her two children have yet to meet/interact with. Doing so only because you've been making out with him non-stop for a few weeks makes it even scarier. Who does that??? You are a mother of two kids you can't just fly off and get engaged to someone, you have responsibilities for crissakes.

Edited by Wandering Snark
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1 hour ago, clubsauce said:

I finally understand the unbreakable link between Ashley and Jared! They are time travelers! Last night she slipped by saying Hanson is her favorite band. Tonight Jared pledged his allegiance to Rob Thomas. How did the editors let such anachronisms slip by them?

But seriously. Rob Thomas? That explains a lot. 

 

I must have missed this?   Rob Thomas the singer/Matchbox 20?   Is there something wrong with liking him?  Do Jared and I have something in common?

Edited by partofme
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39 minutes ago, woodscommaelle said:

Lauren's accent is killing me. Not her fault. But good god. 

I haven't finished the episode yet so I don't know what happens....but ewwww... is josh going to propose? Could this be any faker?

I missed this.  She has a secret?  Not her fault?  What does that mean.  How is having a secret someone's fault?  Confused.

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37 minutes ago, hypnotoad said:

I like Evan and Carly. What has happened to me? I even find him better looking than I did when this started. What is happening to me? I wish we saw more of these two than most of the others. What has happened to me?

I like Nick. Josh is gross. Amanda is a moron.

All the false eyelashes are ridiculous.

That's all I have.

I agree that Evan looks different (and better) than he did at the beginning of the show.  I can't figure out what it is.  The hair, maybe?  Anyway, whatever has happened to you has happened to me, too.

Edited by TomGirl
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2 minutes ago, OldWiseOne said:

Ashley is an awful human being. I hope this is the last time I have to see her on my screen, she is not even worth watching for the train wreck drama factor anymore as she's just a petty bitch.

This can not be said enough.   She's horrible and she's made me Team Caila forever which I hadn't been.

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2 hours ago, snarts said:

What was the de with the smashed lamp? On the beach no less. Bugged the crap out of me, the glass went everywhere.

Amanda is so dim she deserves Josh.

But don't you remember Amanda telling Josh she's a good judge of character (I'm sick of people saying that.We all think that about ourselves, but most don't actually have any special ability when it comes to that judging character. Notice I didn't include myself because I actually am a good judge of character. Eyes rolling.), and she's a smart girl. All of her sentences ended in a question mark btw. I think too many people have told Amanda she's a smart girl so now she's saying it about herself just in case somebody didn't get the memo. No, Amanda. I'm here to tell you, you are clearly not a smart girl.

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I am happy Lauren came on! Accent? I was quite distracted tonight, but I wasn't aware of any strong accent. 

I love her good energy vibe, and always thought she looks like Laura Dern. She's beautiful in my book!

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Lauren's mouth moves too much when she talks. Her lips are all over the place. I think you can say words without jutting your lips out every which way. 

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42 minutes ago, Nowhere said:

Lauren's mouth moves too much when she talks. Her lips are all over the place. I think you can say words without jutting your lips out every which way. 

I wonder what a lipreader would make of her lipmoves.

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32 minutes ago, chocolatine said:

I need the Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind treatment after hearing about Evan's boner.

Not just once, but twice in the same episode I mean it's good you got it goin strong since it's your job and all but damn...

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Ouch, Brett wasted a perfectly good lamp. Which reminds me how dumb the residents are, for last night not knowing the difference between 60 watts and 9 volts. 

I don't mind Evan and Carly (though TMI on the make-out sesh.) They seem like regular people to me, compared to the Ashley/Jared and Josh/Amanda nuttiness.

Brett is far more good looking than very average Jen, who does weird things with her mouth when she talks. I have been wondering how much he's really into her, and how much she's a girlfriend of convenience. Pretty much the latter, considering one date has him torn over sticking with Jen.

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Oh dear, Ashley.  We're back to this:  https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=mommy+dearest&view=detailv2&&id=BAA6FF8FF3E7D4C343D47FFAB0DEB5439DB30052&selectedIndex=408&ccid=Fw14ERS3&simid=608046754678050084&thid=OIP.M170d781114b746e36070e1ec6d2d0519H2&ajaxhist=0

She has one of the ugliest ugly cries I've ever seen.  And what's with that melodramatic violent sniffling she does?  It's just beyond weird.  I'm now convinced that Ashley is an emotional vampire.  Jared really needs to ghost her.  Wells better go into hiding.  She's not only emotionally labile, she's manipulative, and she's cruel.  I wonder if she's always sobbed and clung pathetically to evoke sympathy and get her way.  And she cries like a toddler - wailing with contorted mouth, and absolutely no embarrassment or even discomfort that causes most of us to cover our faces when we're ugly crying.  She wants Jared to see her tortured emoting for full manipulative effects.

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9 minutes ago, RedheadZombie said:

She has one of the ugliest ugly cries I've ever seen.

Do you mean one of the ugliest fake cries?  I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a single tear come out of her eyes or sniffle from her nose.   All she has ever done is contort and wipe at her face. 

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7 hours ago, partofme said:

I must have missed this?   Rob Thomas the singer/Matchbox 20?   Is there something wrong with liking him?  Do Jared and I have something in common?

Nothing wrong with it at all.   im  a big Hanson fan.   They are fucking great musicians.  

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Brett sees women the same way my husband does, he looked a Lauren's long legs and long blonde hair and declared her beautiful, never noticing Barney Fife's face in between.

I'm glad Caila and Jared made it to safety.  I half expected to see Ashley's big eyelashes in the side mirror, objects being closer than they appear.

Amanda and Josh.  I can only hope their families talk them out of it.  Those little girls were scared of Ben!  Josh would give them nightmares, and Josh's family goes to all the football games every week.  I can't imagine Amanda sitting in the stands trying to cheer.  She can barely move her lips enough to whisper.

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My mistake--the montage of Jarod's love for Rob Thomas was aired during the after show. Nothing wrong with Hanson or Rob Thomas--I just thought it was odd that they both liked musicians who had most of their commercial success in the 90s. And it was the most enthusiastically I've ever heard Jarod speak of ANYONE. Kind of nice to see him passionate about something!

Edited by clubsauce

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I despise Ashley. I think part of the reason Caila is not liked by the people in Bachelorette is that she is guarded but also different, she has a grace that others don't. Most of these women can't relate to her. I did see some women take her side and tell her that it is Ashley's problem. Caila has done nothing wrong or out of class. She liked Jared, asked him out, and held her own instead of being a pushover despite Ashley's crying non-stop. Ashley has called her awful names, totally reflective of Ashley rather than Caila. I thought the last conversation of hers with Ashley said it all, Caila didn't want to be a part of all this mess, and she has a very good head on her shoulders. Her "I don't need the attention" is telling, she doesn't need this show like others and doesn't need to stay if her relationship is not going any further. She also knew and said that she can't do anything until Ashley hears it from Jared's own lips, and since Jared wasn't doing anything she had to leave. Caila dealt with Ashley with so much grace and maturity. She didn't resort to name-calling or yelling, she only focused on talking about her feelings and what mattered to her. I know many people didn't like her on TB, but here she dealt with everything with grace. It would have been so easy to lose her cool and respond in kind but she didn't, she decided to talk to Ashley and then leave. I despise Ashley. She is by far the worst person to talk the way she does. And Jared is a wimp, total wimp. He doesn't want to cut her loose but doesn't want a relationship. Jared will NEVER have another relationship till he lets Ashley go for good. I don't understand the "friendship" they can have. Ashley, with her Master's degree and all, is doing nothing with her life, nothing. She jumps from reality show to reality show, gets people to dislike her, for how long? What a waste. She talks sense when she is not crying and crazy, and I am surprised that she can hold a conversation, but mean-girling someone is just too much.

As for Lace, is this the same person who left TB to "work on" herself? What work has she done other than those ridiculous eyelashes? Grant is so patient with her and talks like he wants a real relationship while Lace is all drama all the time. With Chad she started then pulled back, with Grant she is all trying to pull back. What did she expect when she coupled up with him? On such shows saying "love" is common, which is making her run away, but what did she expect? And why doesn't she talk about her feelings and confusion clearly like an adult rather than accuse and blame him? That is not a good sign. Grant needs to let her go now before it gets worse. Like Jen said, it is just one fight. I don't think Lace has been in any serious relationship.

I like Jen, she is very mature. I liked how she spoke to Amanda and then Lace, whatever she says is mature. I also like Nick and never understood the backlash he got on Andi's season. He asked Andi point-blank why she slept with him if she didn't intend to keep him, and she reacted strongly. I totally was on Nick's side because it is a fair question, and I liked how honest he was and he tried to say it very calmly.

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11 hours ago, snarts said:

What was the de with the smashed lamp? On the beach no less. Bugged the crap out of me, the glass went everywhere.

That was the lamp Daniel tried to woo Izzy with. Still, though, smashing it on the beach seemed like a very weird plan. And it made him seem a touch overly aggressive.

So thankful that Jared did indeed opt to leave with Caila. Any relationship will stand a much better chance out of the spotlight. oes anyone know if there are any reports on whether or not they're still together? I still say though that unless Jared cuts Ashley out of his life entirely, he's never going to get to have a relationship with anyone else. Between his need to cater to her taking herself hostage and any sane woman's instinct to just plain not mess with this dynamic, nothing will move forward as long as she's in the picture. Which all leads me to my final assessment of Jared, which is that he's either a complete idiot for not understanding the situation, or he's an asshole who understands it perfectly well and digs it. His decision to leave with Caila suggests that maybe it's actually the former, and he's finally starting to get a clue? 

As for Ashley... I get not wanting to be alone. I'm a much happier person when I'm in a relationship, and I have not much cared for being single in the past. But I've been functional. The idea that the only possible way of moving on from a non-starter of a relationship is to glom onto someone else is asinine. And, circling back to the "Jared's an idiot" theory, if he thinks that the way to get her out of his way so he can move forward is to just foist her off on someone else, but that he can still be close friends with her while she's foisted? Yeah, no. I think she made it pretty clear that, at the first hint of trouble in that other relationship, she'll be right back up in your grill. Gack. Girlfriend needs serious help.

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He asked Andi point-blank why she slept with him if she didn't intend to keep him, and she reacted strongly. I totally was on Nick's side because it is a fair question, and I liked how honest he was and he tried to say it very calmly.

That question was even more fair after what she said in her book. She should have told him it was casual sex instead of love since she claims after her season ended that it was always Josh

I don't think everyone in Bachelor nation hate Caila. She has her supporters from their too. Its just the people from Ashlee I camp are loud about their dislike and Jared is a fan faves for some reason. 

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I have no opinion on Ashley being a virgin. That is everyone's personal decision and I totally respect that. What I DON'T respect is how Ashley flaunts her virginity as "superiority" over her romantic rivals. Calling other women "whores" and "hookers" is not acceptable, but it is Ashley's go-to insult to put herself above other people and feel better that they are more sexually confident than she is. Yet another example of her immaturity.

Also, she totally "puts the dick on a pedestal," to paraphrase some popular culture. She fixates on one man and will not let go. Total Disney princess complex, too. Therapy, Ashley: you need it.

Edited by ClareWalks
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This may seem silly, but as a guy, I was completely shocked when Ashley opened up one of her suitcases and the entire thing was a make-up cabinet with built-in lights and everything!  Is that normal?  How does she get that thing through airport security?  How heavy would it be, with all the electrical outlets plus the massive containers of eyelashes?  I was dumbfounded, to be honest.

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8 minutes ago, Gregg247 said:

This may seem silly, but as a guy, I was completely shocked when Ashley opened up one of her suitcases and the entire thing was a make-up cabinet with built-in lights and everything!  Is that normal?  How does she get that thing through airport security?  How heavy would it be, with all the electrical outlets plus the massive containers of eyelashes?  I was dumbfounded, to be honest.

It's only normal for drag queens. That may explain why Ashley wears a lot of chokers.

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11 hours ago, TomGirl said:

I agree that Evan looks different (and better) than he did at the beginning of the show.  I can't figure out what it is.  The hair, maybe?  Anyway, whatever has happened to you has happened to me, too.

He is in LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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33 minutes ago, Gregg247 said:

This may seem silly, but as a guy, I was completely shocked when Ashley opened up one of her suitcases and the entire thing was a make-up cabinet with built-in lights and everything!  Is that normal?  How does she get that thing through airport security?  How heavy would it be, with all the electrical outlets plus the massive containers of eyelashes?  I was dumbfounded, to be honest.

No. My make-up fits in a tiny zippered pouch in my purse. I can see bringing extra make-up since she was going to be on TV (and crying constantly). Then again, they're at the beach! Waterproof mascara and lip gloss would've been a better way to go.

1 hour ago, ClareWalks said:

I have no opinion on Ashley being a virgin. That is everyone's personal decision and I totally respect that. What I DON'T respect is how Ashley flaunts her virginity as "superiority" over her romantic rivals. Calling other women "whores" and "hookers" is not acceptable, but it is Ashley's go-to insult to put herself above other people and feel better that they are more sexually confident than she is. Yet another example of her immaturity.

I don't think Ashley wants to be a virgin. Some people are saving themselves for marriage, but she's not. She just wants a steady boyfriend who loves her. In some ways, that seems to make her more desperate, though. I almost think that Daniel was right that she'd have felt better dating (not necessarily sleeping) around. Instead, she's always hunting for True Love(TM) and goes psycho hose beast too soon.

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There needs to be a new term for when a show features a repetitive and tiring person and people stop caring about her and start disliking the show, and I think "jumping the Ashley" is it. Come on, enough already, Show. She has become totally unlikeable and beyond redemption. Go away, Ashley.

My Wells love is taking a dive too.

But good move sending Caila and Jared off into the ocean mists.

Edited by MakeMeLaugh
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I couldn't dislike Ashley any more than I do. I dislike EVERYTHING about her, nothing redeeming. No need to go into detail, it's all dislike-able. And I hope they made that doosh who smashed the lamp on the beach pick up the broken glass with his bare feet. And the black bars over the Russian woman's butt were so stupid, especially since the women beach volleyball players, all wearing tiny bikini bottoms and sporting atomic wedgies, were all given closeups of their asses for hours on end.

(I mean the women's beach volleyball Olympic coverage, just to be clear.)

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Wells isn't at all attractive to me anymore. The way he was sitting next to Shushanna all hunched over with his legs crossed like an 80 yr old man really disgusted me. And he says fucking dorky things and not dorky in a good way. More on par with Evan. When he said he was looking at her "derrière" while they were surfing, I knew my love for him would never return. He is so not sexy. He's a better looking Evan. 

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18 minutes ago, MakeMeLaugh said:

There needs to be a new term for when a show features a repetitive and tiring person and people stop caring about her and start disliking the show, and I think "jumping the Ashley" is it. Come on, enough already, Show. She has become totally unlikeable and beyond redemption. Go away, Ashley.

I call it Bachelorizing. This show (and mothership) has a way of taking a character who, in small doses is hilarious, (Chad, Ashley) or situations (the editing, which is still great but starting to Jump the Ashley) and beating us over the head with them. It just feels like the producers see us react to something and think "oh, they want more of that" and then just shove as much of it as possible down our throats until we collectively pray to the porcelain gods. They don't know when to quit.

It's why I rarely make it to the end of any Bachelor franchise show. I just get tired of all the obviously manipulated antics.

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