The Other Duggars: The Lost Girls and Amy

[Absolom]

She had a stroke in December unless I was dreaming again.  I wasn't really expecting that news today.

[DangerousMinds]

Ugh, Jessa's stupid flower crown.

[BitterApple]

Wow, I'm sorry to hear that. How sad.

[Christina87]

I just saw it on Facebook and came right here. So sad!!! She always seemed in good health, especially for her age. I wonder if they expected it or not. 

[Sew Sumi]

Jill's tribute confirms that it was sudden 

[ChaChaSlide]

If Ofsmuggar is having a girl we now know what her name will be. If not, the first baby girl born in the November batch will have Mary or some variation of it in their name. 

Condolences to the people who will mourn her. 

[louannems]

50 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

Ugh, Jessa's stupid flower crown.

I wore a flower crown at my wedding in 1986!  I loved it!

It's very sad about Grandma Mary.  I hope when I'm about her age, I can also pass away quickly.  My MIL had double bypass surgery in 2014. A stroke in 2015.  Two more strokes recently that have left her with severe vascular dementia.  She remembers absolutely nothing.  And still she lingers on in a nursing home on Medicaid.  Quick and sudden is better.  (And so much cheaper).

[Sew Sumi]

8 minutes ago, ChaChaSlide said:

If Ofsmuggar is having a girl we now know what her name will be. If not, the first baby girl born in the November batch will have Mary or some variation of it in their name. 

Condolences to the people who will mourn her. 

Someone in a FB group I'm in enlarged one of Anna's boutique ultrasound pics. Looks to be a girl. I guess the race to name a baby after Mary will just depend on who has the first girl. 

[madpsych78]

1 hour ago, Saylii said:

Grandma Mary passed away.  I didn’t realize she was sick at all.

Then this picture was just before she died, given that Ivy is in the picture. Wow. So sad!

[DangerousMinds]

She is survived by 21 grandchildren? 21?

[Sew Sumi]

I noticed that. They counted Jubilee?

[Lunera]

Looks like they were doing a photoshoot. Jessa posted a comment on IG before Ivy was born saying that they were going to do a photoshoot with all the pregnant ladies.

[ChaChaSlide]

35 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

She is survived by 21 grandchildren? 21?

32 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

I noticed that. They counted Jubilee?

I think they’re counting J’Tyler. Even if they were counting Jubilee in the grandkid count, they wouldn’t mention her in the ones she’s survived by. They would’ve listed her alongside grandpa Duggar and Mary’s own parents or siblings as close family members she was preceded in death by. 

I wouldn’t put it past them to mention Jubilee in the official obit when they have time to “collect their thoughts” (aka trawl here, FJ, and any other Duggar forum) though. 

Edited June 10, 2019 by ChaChaSlide

[BitterApple]

It looks like Grandma Mary had aged quite a bit, judging by the recent photos. The strokes must've really taken a toll on her health. 

Jill's tribute (if you can call it that) is a bit odd. I don't think I'd refer to a freshly deceased relative as "ready to check outta here," but I guess it's on message with the tone-deaf way she responds to life in general. 

Edited June 10, 2019 by BitterApple

[Zella]

16 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

It looks like Grandma Mary had aged quite a bit, judging by the recent photos. The strokes must've really taken a toll on her health. 

Yes, it looks like she had. I was also wondering if she had had some facial paralysis from the strokes. 😞 

Regardless of how I feel about the Duggars, they have my sympathy and condolences on her loss. I'm sure even though she had been having health issues, her passing still was a terrible shock. 

[Temperance]

2 hours ago, Saylii said:

Grandma Mary passed away.  I didn’t realize she was sick at all.

There's a video on youtube of a long talk that JB and Michelle gave with David and Priscilla Waller. It's called the Youth for Christ Conference and you should be able to find it. If you skip to about a little after 3 hours in, they mention their heroes of the faith/who influenced you. JB and Michelle both mention Mary Duggar. Michelle mentioned that she had two strokes --one a little before Christmas and one right around Christmas. She seemed to doing well and told JB and Michelle it could have been so much worse.

She turned 78 not long ago. Her youngest great-grandchild (not counting the unborn) Ivy Jane Seewald shares/shared a birthday with her. 

[Spencer Hastings]

How awful for the Duggars.  This seems so sudden.  78 really doesn’t seem that old.  I was looking at Amy’s Instagram recently and she seemed particularly close to her grandmother.  I can’t imagine how gutted she must be. 

[GeeGolly]

So sad to lose a Grandma. She lived in the TTH for at least a decade and I'm guessing some of the kids had to be close to her in their own superficial Duggar way.

[GeeGolly]

Separate from the sad news. Didn't Jinger wear that same toddler dress that Jessa is wearing?

[Churchhoney]

6 hours ago, BitterApple said:

It looks like Grandma Mary had aged quite a bit, judging by the recent photos. The strokes must've really taken a toll on her health. 

Jill's tribute (if you can call it that) is a bit odd. I don't think I'd refer to a freshly deceased relative as "ready to check outta here," but I guess it's on message with the tone-deaf way she responds to life in general. 

I think you might well say that if you knew that the person's health had seriously deteriorated over the past little while and you were strongly committed to the idea that she's now heading to Heaven where she'll get her young body back, brand new and better than she ever had before.

I doubt that it's tone-deaf at all, given their way of thinking. She's using their faith to make herself and everybody else feel better, seems to me. 

[Ohiopirate02]

8 hours ago, DangerousMinds said:

Ugh, Jessa's stupid flower crown.

Anybody want to tell Jessa about the pagan origins of flower crowns?  There is nothing Protestant about them.

[Jynnan tonnix]

12 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

I think you might well say that if you knew that the person's health had seriously deteriorated over the past little while and you were strongly committed to the idea that she's now heading to Heaven where she'll get her young body back, brand new and better than she ever had before.

I doubt that it's tone-deaf at all, given their way of thinking. She's using their faith to make herself and everybody else feel better, seems to me. 

I probably wouldn't express it in quite the same way, but I get the sentiment. When my father passed away three years ago, he had been very ill for some time between a stroke a few years before and quintuple bypass heart surgery a couple of years after that which he never fully recovered from. He was 85 and just ready to go. My mom is in a similar place right now, though her heart is in good shape and will probably keep on ticking for some time even though I'm sure she prays for it to stop because she is in almost constant pain in her legs from a degenerative spine condition and nerve damage...Her sodium levels keep falling dangerously low for reasons they can't seem to find, which leaves her in even more pain and extremely weak, so they restrict her fluid and have her drinking salt water, but she also has high blood pressure, so she's not really supposed to be doing that either. She just came through a nasty bout of bronchitis which further weakened her...she's 85 now as well, and just wants it to all be over.

Whenever her time comes, I'm sure I'll manage to make a few tone-deaf statements of my own when people offer condolences.

[FizzyPuff]

8 hours ago, Saylii said:

Grandma Mary passed away.  I didn’t realize she was sick at all.

This is sad, she didn’t look well in this photo though did she ☹️.RIP Grandma Duggar. I’m not religious but I hope if there’s a heaven or something she’s there with her husband. 

[Trillium]

Poor Grandma Mary, who instead of enjoying her retirement had to spend her golden years doing 10 loads of laundry a day because her son is a self-righteous dick. 

[ginger90]

I’m sorry for their loss.

Jill is the only one, (she posted on Twitter, and Instagram) as of now, besides the Duggar Official post, to post about grandma passing. I know it’s a loss, but Jill comes across poorly, to me, by doing it. All about the clicks for her, IMO.

Edited June 10, 2019 by ginger90

[truebluesmoky]

I just saw posts from Anna, Joy, and Jinger.

[ginger90]

2 minutes ago, truebluesmoky said:

I just saw posts from Anna, Joy, and Jinger.

Jill’s was up at midnight. I know I’m probably being rude about it. Having been through deaths in the family, and people who posted stuff just for the replies, it bugged me.

Jinger’s comes across better, to me. Posted 20 minutes ago:

Anna’s:

Joy’s:

[PikaScrewChu]

Wait. Grandma Mary let them watch those heathens Bob Barker and Drew Carey with the NIKE! Barker's Beauties?

She clearly had a TV with rabbit ears in that laundry room. 

I hope she's at peace, wherever that may be, yelling at the contestants for being so stupid on TPIR.

[FizzyPuff]

48 minutes ago, Trillium said:

Poor Grandma Mary, who instead of enjoying her retirement had to spend her golden years doing 10 loads of laundry a day because her son is a self-righteous dick. 

Right and she did it without telling Boob & Mullet too do their own damn laundry! I haven’t got kids but trust me if JB was my son and he told me to do his laundry I’d mess it up on purpose put red socks in with the whites and turn all his clothes pink he’d never ask me to do it again, or I’d just “forget” about the Laundry let it pile up and act like I thought someone else was doing it cough cough himself or his wife. 

[BitterApple]

Jinger's post was  nice, Joy's was short and sweet and Anna's came off like the generic stuff you say when you weren't close enough to someone to make it really personal. 

[Ijustwantsomechips]

Man I loathe these people, but I do feel for them. Losing a parent or grandparent sucks, especially when it’s sudden.  I also think they’re counting J’Tyler, which is the right thing to do.  If Boob and MOTY are raising him as their own, then that makes him Mary’s grandson too.  I doubt she would have thought of him as anything but a grandchild of her own.  

[PikaScrewChu]

15 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

Jinger's post was  nice, Joy's was short and sweet and Anna's came off like the generic stuff you say when you weren't close enough to someone to make it really personal. 

I liked Joy's the best. It was right to the point and it was personal. Not just "Yay she's meeting Jesus now!" That is really freaking awkward.

Plus we got to know something about Grandma Mary. She was letting the kiddos watch TV with her. Tell us more about how she subverted the rules. 

[Marigold]

Amy is pregnant and lost Mary, who I think she was very close with.  Poor Amy...that's rough. 

Jinger's post was very classy. 

[farmgal4]

9 hours ago, louannems said:

I wore a flower crown at my wedding in 1986!  I loved it!

It's very sad about Grandma Mary.  I hope when I'm about her age, I can also pass away quickly.  My MIL had double bypass surgery in 2014. A stroke in 2015.  Two more strokes recently that have left her with severe vascular dementia.  She remembers absolutely nothing.  And still she lingers on in a nursing home on Medicaid.  Quick and sudden is better.  (And so much cheaper).

I just came here to say that Mary was very fortunate.  Everyone should be so blessed to die like she did.  

[PikaScrewChu]

1 minute ago, Marigold said:

Amy is pregnant and lost Mary, who I think she was very close with.  Poor Amy...that's rough. 

Jinger's post was very classy. 

Amy posted on IG about it. She was very close. She said Grandma Mary helped raise her. She was probably like a second mother to Amy. 

[libgirl2]

54 minutes ago, PikaScrewChu said:

I liked Joy's the best. It was right to the point and it was personal. Not just "Yay she's meeting Jesus now!" That is really freaking awkward.

Plus we got to know something about Grandma Mary. She was letting the kiddos watch TV with her. Tell us more about how she subverted the rules. 

And watching TPIR!!! Joy's was the one that sounded the most normal. 

Edited June 10, 2019 by libgirl2

[sigmaforce86]

I do feel sad about Mary - she was just on the side most of the time, she didn't chase fame like her son, daughter in law and, by extension, their kids did (and are) and she seemed like a nice lady.  I think it's sweet she was able to hold Ivy and they have that picture - but I love generation pictures like that anyway.  

Interesting they said she had 21 Grandchildren which would be JB's 19 plus Amy to make 20; I don't think there are any others so they have to be counting Jubilee or Caleb but not both.  But then they only state 13 Great Grandchildren so they aren't counting Lauren & Sia's miscarriage either.  Only counting one of the two babies Michelle lost is weird.  Not counting Lauren's must just burn her biscuits (only because I think she's a drama queen anyway and would bet any other daughter or DIL wouldn't care as much).

And how interesting that Joy & Grandma watched Price Is Right, never thought they'd allow Joy to watch much TV or that she'd be hanging out next to Grandma watching a game show.  But I really love the mental picture of it!

Still Grandma's are special so RIP Mary.

Edited to add:  And please Jim Bob.............. let Grandma Mary actually rest in peace now.  I know it makes good drama for TV but don't film her funeral and all the kids mourning her just so you can have a "Very Special Episode"

Edited June 10, 2019 by sigmaforce86

[Christina87]

9 hours ago, BitterApple said:

It looks like Grandma Mary had aged quite a bit, judging by the recent photos. The strokes must've really taken a toll on her health. 

Jill's tribute (if you can call it that) is a bit odd. I don't think I'd refer to a freshly deceased relative as "ready to check outta here," but I guess it's on message with the tone-deaf way she responds to life in general. 

Jill's struck me as being tone deaf and ridiculous too! I saw hers on Instagram, and then saw Amy's directly after it, and there was a world of difference. Amy seemed genuinely gutted, and it read to me like a normal young lady who was really close to her grandmother. Jill's seemed superficial, and like she was trying to be witty. It's sad to say, but I wouldn't be shocked if Jill's tribute was more about herself than anything else. I really think she's focused on herself a lot (like her need to be perfect), and either misses a lot of what goes on, or puts up a lot of walls. Plus, I bet Amy really IS a lot more close, so jill could have made it short and sweet if she didn't have as much to say, or focused on a specific memory, etc. 

i do see what some people are saying about her using "ready to check outta here" as lightening the mood, and to me, there's a difference between saying something and posting it on social media. If she said it to make her relatives laugh during this sad time, in the proper context, it could be fine. I just wouldn't be that flippant in a social media post. 

[louannems]

According to the Duggarling's statements regarding Grandma Mary, she was a huge, constant god-botherer who told everyone she met to turn from sin!  I've always had a pretty good impression of her and sure hope the kids are just blathering their usual jesusy words.

[ginger90]

Video:

[Scarlett45]

I am so sorry for everyone that lost Mary- especially Amy as they were so close. (And I’m sure being pregnant now makes it particularly difficult). 78 isnt terribly old but that’s a full lifespan. I took hope I go quickly- it’s so much harder on everyone to suffer through a prolonged illness. 

[3 is enough]

Maybe the 21 grandchildren line was a typo?  When you experience a sudden loss you aren't always thinking clearly.

I am sorry for their loss.  But I do think it was a blessing that she died suddenly instead of having a lingering decline.  My mother has dementia and I can tell you it is heartbreaking to watch.  She's still here but she isn't my mother anymore.  I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

Joy's message seemed the most heartfelt to me.  Jinger's was also nice- wonder if she had Jeremy proofread it for her?  Jill was Jill. She is just awkward and it isn't going to change.

People is saying that Mary was 73.  That can't be right.  Jim Bob is 53 and I think Deanna is older than him.

[Lunera]

3 hours ago, Puffin said:

RIP  I’m not religious but I hope if there’s a heaven or something she’s there with her husband. 

Too bad Boob doesn't believe that. To him his dad was a dirty sinner who turned away from Christ. 

1 hour ago, BitterApple said:

Jinger's post was  nice, Joy's was short and sweet and Anna's came off like the generic stuff you say when you weren't close enough to someone to make it really personal. 

Jill is a freaking idiot and I hate Anna's stupid emojis.

I feel sad for Joy. I think she and Austin had been staying at the guest house with her.

[Saylii]

3 minutes ago, 3 is enough said:

Maybe the 21 grandchildren line was a typo?  When you experience a sudden loss you aren't always thinking clearly.

I am sorry for their loss.  But I do think it was a blessing that she died suddenly instead of having a lingering decline.  My mother has dementia and I can tell you it is heartbreaking to watch.  She's still here but she isn't my mother anymore.  I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

Joy's message seemed the most heartfelt to me.  Jinger's was also nice- wonder if she had Jeremy proofread it for her?  Jill was Jill. She is just awkward and it isn't going to change.

People is saying that Mary was 73.  That can't be right.  Jim Bob is 53 and I think Deanna is older than him.

Mary was 78.

I also think #21 is J’Tyler.  Probably one of those things where Jim Bob & Michelle count him as their 20th child and when writing it, forgot to subtract him as a “true” grandchild because they are so used to referencing 20 kids.  Now it does give them an out if they want to reference Jubilee later.

Edited June 10, 2019 by Saylii

[Spencer Hastings]

Amy’s post made me tear up.  Grandma Mary was probably over the moon for Amy’s baby. No way would he have been just another great grandchild or number to her. How wonderful to be so close to your grandmother. It will be a bittersweet road from here. While I don’t doubt that Mary loved Jesus with all her heart and soul, Amy and Joy are the only ones who eulogized her without mentioning her evangelism.

The Price is Right makes anyone okay in my book.

Edited June 10, 2019 by Spencer Hastings

[BitterApple]

I'm heartbroken for Amy. I'm sure the other grandkids loved Mary, but I don't think they doted on her the way Amy did. If you look back through her Instagram, Grandma Mary is everywhere. It seems like Amy went above and beyond to make sure Mary got out and had fun, and they looked happy in all their pictures. It's awful to lose someone suddenly, but I'm a bit relieved Mary had a true retirement in her later years rather than maintain the status quo as Michelle's laundry slave. 

Edited June 10, 2019 by BitterApple

[NotFundie]

2 hours ago, sigmaforce86 said:

Edited to add:  And please Jim Bob.............. let Grandma Mary actually rest in peace now.  I know it makes good drama for TV but don't film her funeral and all the kids mourning her just so you can have a "Very Special Episode"

The minute I read this I thought, "I bet that's exactly what Jim Bob will do."  He's all about getting more viewers and a filmed funeral would do it.

I agree with everyone that I'm glad she went quickly.  And I'm a bit curious that there aren't more pictures of her with Jim Bob.  After all, she taught him a lot about real estate and helped JB and J'chelle raise all those kids - not to mention being a laundry slave for years.  

Where exactly was she living?  I know they moved her into the cabin in back and then later gave that to Joe and Kendra.  I've read she was in the guest house.  She apparently spent a lot of time recently with Deanna and Amy.  Did they move her over to Deanna's?

(I have to add this:  What was up with her hair?  Was it always cut and colored the same way or was it a wig?)

[MargeGunderson]

11 hours ago, BitterApple said:

It looks like Grandma Mary had aged quite a bit, judging by the recent photos. The strokes must've really taken a toll on her health. 

Jill's tribute (if you can call it that) is a bit odd. I don't think I'd refer to a freshly deceased relative as "ready to check outta here," but I guess it's on message with the tone-deaf way she responds to life in general. 

I was put off by all of the exclamation points. Is that the only punctuation that she knows? Have some respect, both for your grandmother and the appropriate use of punctuation. Also, ready to check out? She's not a library book. 

ETA - Amy's post was lovely (and heartbreaking), Jessa, Jinger's and Joy's were fine (I do like that Joy and Jinger messages had specific memories of Mary), but Anna's was kind of bland.

Edited June 10, 2019 by MargeGunderson

[truebluesmoky]

I am sure the 20 is counting Tyler, because any miscarriages would not be counted in a “survived by” total. Based on social media and the show itself, it seems to me that one of the only things JimBob and Michelle have done right in their lives is to fully embrace Tyler as another son, make him feel fully part of their family, and make him feel secure and loved. That doesn’t make up for all the harm they’ve done to many of their other children, but I do think they’re doing right by Tyler.

Si and Lauren posted this...

Edited June 10, 2019 by truebluesmoky

[3 is enough]

Oh Lauren.  You just HAD to include a mention of your poor lost baby in your post about Grandma Duggar didn't you?

FFS.