Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[SMama]

I’m SO sorry about my typo ?, I have been offline. I meant 16, and will take the required floggins with a wet noodle.  ?

[Arwen Evenstar]

3 minutes ago, SMama said:

I’m SO sorry about my typo ?, I have been offline. I meant 16, and will take the required floggins with a wet noodle.  ?

Just bring some wine, sangria, or sparkling Italian soda and all will be forgiven.

[SMama]

Phew, thank you, I only opted for corporal punishment because I thought the punishment was listening to Gothard speak.

[awaken]

6 hours ago, bigskygirl said:

My brother is 58 years old and never lived on his own. In some ways he reminds me of Dwerp Boy (lazy, entitled, whiner, and thinks the world is there at his disposal.) My mother is a class A Enabler when it comes to my brother (sounds like someone we all know *cough* Cathy *cough*)

We have two of these in our family, too!  Grown up, codependent kidults, and Parents who foster this.  

[Christina87]

7 hours ago, bigskygirl said:

My brother is 58 years old and never lived on his own. In some ways he reminds me of Dwerp Boy (lazy, entitled, whiner, and thinks the world is there at his disposal.) My mother is a class A Enabler when it comes to my brother (sounds like someone we all know *cough* Cathy *cough*)

According to Dwerp Boy, Wal Mart was not his first job. He has worked all his life. *rolling eyes* I still wish his step father would come out and spill the beans. He could make a small mint on a tell all book.

I still want to know EXACTLY what happened at Walmart. I thought the recent news that he complained about womens' clothes and didn't do much work was interesting. I want all the dirt!!!

[floridamom]

I would just like to know the truth about what happened with DDD's job at WalMart. No speculation, just the truth there. What's been released by DDD doesn't add up to me.

[MargeGunderson]

21 hours ago, bigskygirl said:

Dwerp Boy was fine until he got married. He started going downhill fast after  marrying Jill so fast, the job at Wal Mart did not work out at all for him, the molestation scandal hit the fan, Jill getting pregnant too fast, his mother being sick, and Jill's constant clinginess. I am not saying there is something seriously wrong with him, but I do not think we should put all the blame on him for the marriage going sour. She thought she was in love with him from the beginning and acted like a silly thirteen year old girl with her first crush playing house with a baby on the way. Neither one of them had the common sense God gave a goose (sorry do not mean to insult geese) when it comes to marriage and parenthood.

Total speculation here, but perhaps Derrick was attracted to men and thought that all he needed to do was to marry in order to “cure” those urges. It didn’t work, and it sent him over the edge. If only he could be a better Christian, everything would be “normal.” It would explain a lot. And if that’s the case, I feel very sorry for him. 

[lookeyloo]

34 minutes ago, MargeGunderson said:

Total speculation here, but perhaps Derrick was attracted to men and thought that all he needed to do was to marry in order to “cure” those urges. It didn’t work, and it sent him over the edge. If only he could be a better Christian, everything would be “normal.” It would explain a lot. And if that’s the case, I feel very sorry for him. 

Speculating with you, but yes, that would explain a lot.  And not unheard of.

[sleepysuzy]

9 hours ago, awaken said:

We have two of these in our family, too!  Grown up, codependent kidults, and Parents who foster this.  

Just a pet peeve of mine, but that is not what codependent means. Codependent people tend to be in relationships where they are trying to "fix" someone, like a drug addict or abuser. The term you need here is plain dependent.

[GeeGolly]

I've always taken the term codependent to mean two enmeshed people, one needing and wanting care and one needing and wanting to take care of another.

Edited January 7, 2018 by GeeGolly

[louannems]

If you scroll to the second photo, you can see newborn Samuel in the NICU.  He's not dressed in the typical hospital tee shirt that newly born infants are seen in. Instead, he's wearing real baby clothes which makes me think he was in NICU longer than just a day or two.

When my kids were born, they didn't get dressed in real clothes until it was time to take them home.

I wonder how long Sammy stayed in NICU?

Besides the oxygen, he has an EKG electode peeking out from under the neckline of his shirt.

Edited January 7, 2018 by louannems

[Churchhoney]

20 hours ago, bigskygirl said:

Remember Derick and Cat Gate. None of these people should be allowed to have a pet of any kind.

I say again, however, it was Derick and Bin. Laughing Bin was the one who eagerly and deliberately pointed the sled directly at the cat and gave a dramatic mighty push. I'm tired of him always getting off the hook about this one! Both of them were turned into monstrous nuts by the Duggar-crowd milieu, in my opinion. 

Honestly,I doubt that it would have occurred to either one of them to go after the cat if they were on their own. They were both raised in situations that were way closer to normal, seems to me. And I don't think either was so nutso or angry (at that point, anyway) that the sight of an innocent animal would have aroused their buried savagery or whatever. They were clearly playing to the crowd of Duggars and, especially, Duggar females who were screaming for it.  "Git 'eeem! Git 'eeem!" .... That screaming for the cat's blood sticks in my brain. They truly have been raised to be awful -- alongside completely incompetent -- people. 

20 hours ago, Christina87 said:

That's what bothers me about these kids pumping out babies quickly "for the show." They will still have to support these babies when the show ends!!! They should for real get puppies instead for ratings. They would be just as cute, and way easier to support in the long run!

Plus, the Duggarlings being Duggars, they'd just throw the puppies out in the street if feeding them became a budget problem. 

[saylubee]

1 hour ago, louannems said:

If you scroll to the second photo, you can see newborn Samuel in the NICU.  He's not dressed in the typical hospital tee shirt that newly born infants are seen in. Instead, he's wearing real baby clothes which makes me think he was in NICU longer than just a day or two.

When my kids were born, they didn't get dressed in real clothes until it was time to take them home.

I wonder how long Sammy stayed in NICU?

Besides the oxygen, he has an EKG electode peeking out from under the neckline of his shirt.

They encouraged us to dress our newborns in bodysuits in the NICU to help keep them warm and keep them from pulling their wires off.  They even provided the clothes, unless we had special outfits that we wanted to keep track of.

[ginger90]

Here's  Jill's message to Cathy:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BdosnGJF12E/

[GeeGolly]

16 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

Here's  Jill's message to Cathy:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BdosnGJF12E/

Whoa, is that Cathy with Derick? He's the spitting image of Sammy! (or the other way around)

Edited January 7, 2018 by GeeGolly

[madpsych78]

15 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

Here's  Jill's message to Cathy:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BdosnGJF12E/

I like Jill's message better than Derick's, because it felt like it was more in appreciation of Cathy and how she overcame hardships; it was beyond just thanking her for raising Derick. Also, Sammy looks just like Derick did at the same age whereas Izzy is more Jill.

[BitterApple]

I have to admit Jill's message was very nice and flowed much more naturally than the usual platitudes we see repeated ad nauseum on Duggar birthday posts.

[tabloidlover]

I'm surprised they included the pic of Sammy in the NICU.  They have been so secretive (ie: not running to People for an exclusive interview, not filming the birth etc) that I can't decide if it was included by accident or if it was in appreciation for her support during the ordeal.   

Now that we know Sammy was in the NICU, that would explain the person that posted somewhere that the family was seen crying in the hospital.    I know that most often it is not the mother's fault that the baby lands in NICU with problems, but I can't help but wonder if it was directly due to Jill thinking she knew best throughout the pregnancy and through her attempted home birth.   She wanted that perfect home birth no matter what and was bound and determined to have each of those boys at home.   She only sought medical attention when it was dire.   So selfish.  

[louannems]

When I blew up the NICU picture, I see Sammy has a feeding tube. So Sammy was too sick to nurse or feed from a bottle.

[bigskygirl]

I was thinking (yes I know it can be dangerous) about the one woman saying Derelict did not like working with women and they were heathen hussies tempted him way too much at work. I wonder if part of his anger was due to marrying Jill and realizing the fact he got married too quickly and was not able to play the field before getting married, or he was brainwashed by JB and Jill about women being evil and to stay clear of them except for Jill of course. I think Jill was and still is demanding of his attention, to the point she was jealous of the women he was working with. She probably passed her fears onto Derick which may have lead him to believe the women were interested in him and might try to lure him away from Jill. She does have some major insecurity when it comes to men especially after being molested by Josh, and JB did not protect her from her own brother and did not get the help she obviously needs. In otherwords, Derelict may have a bad case of buyer's remorse after getting married and becoming a father so quickly. In a way it reminds me of my mother's parents. They had to get married because my grandmother got pregnant. They were not happy about being married because of an unplanned baby out of wedlock. My oldest uncle was abused and blamed for the whole thing. After getting married, they had six more kids they were not capable of raising. Sadly their children were taken from them, and my one uncle had one of his uncles sign papers to let him enlist in the military to get away from his parents.

Edited January 7, 2018 by bigskygirl

[Christina87]

5 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I've always taken the term codependent to mean two enmeshed people, one needing and wanting care and one needing and wanting to take care of another.

Me too. I had two roommates like this in college that did everything together and couldn't function separately. We were all in choir together, and it got to the point that everyone in choir was saying, "why are they ALWAYS together?" One would say, "I need to go to the music building," and the other would whine, "but I don't WAAAANT to go to the music building!" They never even considered doing anything separately!

[bigskygirl]

8 hours ago, floridamom said:

I would just like to know the truth about what happened with DDD's job at WalMart. No speculation, just the truth there. What's been released by DDD doesn't add up to me.

I am thinking taking too much time off from work, Jill's showing up every work day clinging to him like no one's business which probably made it a hostile work environment, and he was doing a second rate job. Opinions may vary, but this is my guess.

[ozziemom]

Probably Dwerp  needed an accountability partner  when he was working at Walmart, think of all the Nike moments! JB must have told Jill to drop Dwerp off, pick him up, bring lunch, workout etc etc cos who knows what kind of trouble he could have gotten into if he was alone.

[Arwen Evenstar]

1 minute ago, ozziemom said:

Probably Dwerp  needed an accountability partner  when he was working at Walmart, think of all the Nike moments! JB must have told Jill to drop Dwerp off, pick him up, bring lunch, workout etc etc cos who knows what kind of trouble he could have gotten into if he was alone.

How old did JB think Derp was, 12? Boob was probably jealous he couldn’t go anywhere without an accountability partner.  I wonder how long I’d be employed if I let my husband tag along at my work or bothering me the whole time I was supposed to be working. These people really do seem to have their own reality.

[bigskygirl]

14 minutes ago, ozziemom said:

Probably Dwerp  needed an accountability partner  when he was working at Walmart, think of all the Nike moments! JB must have told Jill to drop Dwerp off, pick him up, bring lunch, workout etc etc cos who knows what kind of trouble he could have gotten into if he was alone.

I am trying to picture how his fellow coworkers thought of him. I cannot picture any of the women, single or married, finding him attractive. I know a few women who checked on their boyfriends or husband 24/7/365 because they did not trust him or the women he worked with. It made an interesting work environment and gossip central. People were laughing and feeling sorry for the guy. Throw in a clinging and insecure wife like Jill, and watch the drama play out. I actually know one woman who thought the women at work were out to get her because they thought she was hitting on their man, and her fellow male coworkers had girlfriends or wives who thought she was going to hit on them. She is an older version of Jill who thought she was in love with a guy she just met. She was in a relationship with a guy she met on social media. They were engaged before even meeting one another. He died before they had a chance to meet. She is 55 years old and never ever lived on her own. She did live by herself for a short time when her mother was in California, and lets just say it turned out to be a major disaster leading to a stand off at her house, and her mother demanding she go to California for six months and telling people she was in the witness protection program. Sounds like Jill does it not.

Edited January 7, 2018 by bigskygirl

[sleepysuzy]

49 minutes ago, Christina87 said:

Me too. I had two roommates like this in college that did everything together and couldn't function separately. We were all in choir together, and it got to the point that everyone in choir was saying, "why are they ALWAYS together?" One would say, "I need to go to the music building," and the other would whine, "but I don't WAAAANT to go to the music building!" They never even considered doing anything separately!

There is a lot of overlap and confusion about the term "enmeshed", "enabling", and "codependent". This blog post some discusses some of the distincton: www.eliterehabplacement.com/blog/break-free-of-an-enmeshed-relationship/

I've been  part of many 12 step programs and counseling sessions on the topic. If anything, I'd consider the older Duggar daughters as likely candidates for codependent behavior. They have had to cover up abuse and make their family appear not only functional but even admirable in their roles as sister moms. If you look at a checklist of codependent behaviors, they match pretty closely to many if Jill's more eccentric actions, although of course that is only the small glimpses we have seen.

[cmr2014]

9 hours ago, floridamom said:

I would just like to know the truth about what happened with DDD's job at WalMart. No speculation, just the truth there. What's been released by DDD doesn't add up to me.

21 minutes ago, bigskygirl said:

I am thinking taking too much time off from work, Jill's showing up every work day clinging to him like no one's business which probably made it a hostile work environment, and he was doing a second rate job. Opinions may vary, but this is my guess.

I think BigSkyGirl is right, but that it was part of a bigger picture.

I'm pretty sure he got the job because of Cathy, and I think that everyone at WalMart was predisposed to give him the benefit of the doubt. In return, I don't think Derick was humble and grateful, and worked hard to show that he deserved the special consideration he got.

He took an enormous amount of time off. Once again, I think he was cut a lot of slack because of the wedding, his mother's illness, and the birth of his son. On the other hand, there was a ton of time off for filming related things and a missioncation. I'm sure that at least a few of his colleagues saw the pictures of Derick and Jill in NYC while they were all at work.

I think that the former colleague posted her impressions as a colleague, not necessarily the specific reasoning of management. I do think, though, that the fact that he didn't get along well with his colleagues, and that he had issues working as a subordinate to women played a part as well.

I also don't think that Jill showing up all the time did anything to endear him to his colleagues or management. Aside from the fact that it was a bit weird, he wouldn't have been able to work through lunch, or work late to finish assignments -- which I think would be pretty standard expectation for a junior level employee.

I don't think he's ever going to come clean about whether he was fired, quit because of poor performance reviews and an impending firing, was encouraged to "resign" to protect his reputation, quit because of the SOS job, or any combination of the above.

[Caracoa1]

These Duggars make no sense to me...they get off on all the attention they get with each pregnancy..they will do anything to save their unborn children...yet...when it comes time to birth that unborn child...they make seriously dangerous decisions to achieve that "perfect" home birth....at the expense of the baby!

[lookeyloo]

Baby Drek does look like Sammy!  And Cathy was a beauty.

[sixlets]

"THE MOST POWERFUL WEAPON to conquer the devil is humility. As he does not know at all how to employ it, neither does he know how to defend himself from it."

This little gem is from the bulletin of a Catholic church in my hometown.  Not sure who wrote it, but Dwerp could take a lesson.  

[ginger90]

17 minutes ago, sixlets said:

"THE MOST POWERFUL WEAPON to conquer the devil is humility. As he does not know at all how to employ it, neither does he know how to defend himself from it."

This little gem is from the bulletin of a Catholic church in my hometown.  Not sure who wrote it, but Dwerp could take a lesson.  

Vincent de Paul

[ginger90]

Another for "Dwerp" , also Vincent de Paul

If God is the center of your life, no words are necessary. Your mere presence will touch hearts.

[bigskygirl]

34 minutes ago, sixlets said:

"THE MOST POWERFUL WEAPON to conquer the devil is humility. As he does not know at all how to employ it, neither does he know how to defend himself from it."

This little gem is from the bulletin of a Catholic church in my hometown.  Not sure who wrote it, but Dwerp could take a lesson.  

Most of the Duggar clan could take a lesson from this.

[cmr2014]

11 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

Another for "Dwerp" , also Vincent de Paul

If God is the center of your life, no words are necessary. Your mere presence will touch hearts.

This is why Derick failed as a missionary, too. In order to be a successful missionary, you have to be someone who has a real presence. The peace and strength that you derive from your faith has to be evident to everyone around you, and people have to want to follow you, and be more like you, to get that special something that you have. Derick is a whiny, petulant, know-it-all young man. Those exist in every culture and, as far as I know, are not admired anywhere.

[ginger90]

Derick’s latest re-tweet is a link to this

https://t.co/o9jL7JMSF3?amp=1

[AUgirl]

22 hours ago, louannems said:

you scroll to the second photo, you can see newborn Samuel in the NICU.  He's not dressed in the typical hospital tee shirt that newly born infants are seen in. Instead, he's wearing real baby clothes which makes me think he was in NICU longer than just a day or two.

My son was only in the NICU for a few days due to some C-section related breathing issues. The nurses would dress the babies in clothes. We just sent his regular sleepers and they would put him in them. I think it gives a sense of normalcy. 

*This was not the critical-care NICU. 

[Aja]

3 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Derick’s latest re-tweet is a link to this

https://t.co/o9jL7JMSF3?amp=1

"Sit down and shut the fuck up, women! Historically, it works! Here is some completely nonsensical free-jazz word salad "supporting" this assertion! Most lovingly and benevolently yours (ha), Your Faithful (ha) Headship"

Edited January 8, 2018 by Aja

[WhineandCheez]

Quote

Baby Drek does look like Sammy!  And Cathy was a beauty.

She has a horrible old-lady haircut now.

Quote

 I cannot picture any of the women, single or married, finding him attractive

I dunno, I think he was cute in his Nepal days. He does have nice hair and rolling around Nepal is a cool thing to do, also. The young marriage with 2 kids rapid-fire sure has dimmed his allure.

[Heathen]

21 hours ago, lookeyloo said:

Baby Drek does look like Sammy!  And Cathy was a beauty.

I wouldn't say she was beautiful, but at least she was less homely than she is now. Both her sons are homely, too. The late, great Mr. Dillard's genes must not have made an impact on his sons' faces, er, countenances.  

[floridamom]

My opinion is that the Dillard parents are/were good looking. Mr. Dillard was a good looking guy. I also don't consider Derick and his brother 'homely'. they're cute guys. This, of course, is my opinion.

I wouldn't snark on Cathy's hair or it's style being that she did go through chemo with the cancer. I don't wish that on anyone at all on this earth. I'm glad she's ok and has her hair back.

[Jynnan tonnix]

7 minutes ago, floridamom said:

My opinion is that the Dillard parents are/were good looking. Mr. Dillard was a good looking guy. I also don't consider Derick and his brother 'homely'. they're cute guys. This, of course, is my opinion.

I wouldn't snark on Cathy's hair or it's style being that she did go through chemo with the cancer. I don't wish that on anyone at all on this earth. I'm glad she's ok and has her hair back.

I think she is pretty as well. It seems that the general opinion here was that she was very attractive and stylish back when we thought she was the stable, loving, more-or-less fundy-lite grandmother, but since she has begun to show more and more Pearl-type influence and started backing Dreck's rants & ramblings, she has become "homely" with a "horrible old lady haircut"...? Whatever I may think of her personally, she pretty much looks the same to me as she ever did - a quite attractive and stylish woman of a certain age...

[Aja]

Pretty is as pretty does, as my Grandma used to say.

[Heathen]

1 hour ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

I think she is pretty as well. It seems that the general opinion here was that she was very attractive and stylish back when we thought she was the stable, loving, more-or-less fundy-lite grandmother, but since she has begun to show more and more Pearl-type influence and started backing Dreck's rants & ramblings, she has become "homely" with a "horrible old lady haircut"...? Whatever I may think of her personally, she pretty much looks the same to me as she ever did - a quite attractive and stylish woman of a certain age...

I thought she was homely from the time she first appeared on the show, and her sons too. YMMV. 

[Marigold]

I'm sure having your giggle box wife, with a mental age of 14, showing up everyday for lunch and being a stage 5 clinger was a huge joke in the office.  This probably escalated and Derick started to push back, which we now know is unhinged rantings. 

I'm very cautious to stay out of gossip but even I would've had some laughs with that one.  "oh Deeerick, here comes wifey Jilly with your sandwich!" "Don't forget your napkin, kissy kissy my hubby wubby!"

Derick seems like an angry guy. It can't take much to set him off. 

 

Surprised to hear that Derick was so uptight about clothing at work.  Is Jill not a NIKE Ho with her pants, knee exposure, spreading legs foot rub and nose stud?  

Maybe guys are lusting after your wife's feet? Maybe her nose ring makes men wonder if she is pierced anywhere else? (naughty little Jilly). Maybe Derick sitting between her legs made the entire social media think about what else he rubbed?

Posting college girls dancing to Despacito...Derick almost can speak some Spanish.  He must know the words are pretty sexual and raunchy.  So that doesn't cause "brothers to stumble". Oh, OK.   But a female accountant in a business suit has Derick popping boners and he can't concentrate??  Maybe that is his problem with Jazz.   

Gotta love the hypocrites.  

I have more respect for kooky Michelle with her pantyhose on the beach.  At least she is consistent with her modesty clothing nonsense.

Edited January 9, 2018 by Marigold

[MamaMax]

On 1/7/2018 at 0:45 PM, louannems said:

When I blew up the NICU picture, I see Sammy has a feeding tube. So Sammy was too sick to nurse or feed from a bottle.

I do not see it. I see an oxygen line. If he had a feeding tube it would be up one nostril and taped to his face. 

[JoanArc]

11 minutes ago, Marigold said:

Derick seems like an angry guy

I think it's a lot of resent driving his crazy anger.

[wait.what]

2 hours ago, MamaMax said:

I do not see it. I see an oxygen line. If he had a feeding tube it would be up one nostril and taped to his face. 

It is a feeding tube in his mouth, it is taped to his chin. Sometimes they will place the feeding tube in the mouth instead of the nose. It may have something to do with how long they think it will be in. (Shorter time: through the mouth,longer time: through the nose.) (I’m not a NICU nurse, but I am a nurse.)

[Christina87]

I wonder if Derick would have had any chance of being a normal employee if he hadn't married Jill. I wonder how extreme his beliefs on modesty, etc were beforehand. I've always thought that Cathy, though she defends the crazy now, was decently worldly, and I wonder how things would have been different if she was his support system instead of Jilly and Boob. I wonder if he would have cared about being defrauded by the women, and if he had, if Cathy would have just said, "don't look at whatever's bothering you and keep it to yourself." She's been in the working world for decades, so she has to have some common sense, especially about womens' issues. I'm thinking she would have told Derick to suck it up, buttercup if reporting  to a woman bothered him. Honestly, that sounds like JB and Gothardism. Sure, Derick and Cathy both think that gay marriage is wrong, there should be a war on transgender, humans coexisted with dinosaurs, etc, but many people quietly believe those things and have normal work lives! That's what I'm assuming Cathy has done for the last 30 years, or she never would have reached an executive level. 

[louannems]

3 hours ago, MamaMax said:

I do not see it. I see an oxygen line. If he had a feeding tube it would be up one nostril and taped to his face. 

I see a feeding tube entering into his mouth.  It's less irritating than a nostril if used for a while.

Oops!  Just saw the other post.  All I know is I've x-rayed too many feeding tube to count.

Edited January 9, 2018 by louannems

[flyingdi]

I think Derrick looks like every other mid twenties guy I see.  I find him, reallly, neither attractive or unattractive.