Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[charmed1]

15 hours ago, queenanne said:

He's "hating the sin but loving the sinner" in his mind, thus it doesn't count.  He doesn't think hating someone's very being equals "real hatred" for them.

Right. Derick thinks that Jazz is being exploited by her parents (how ironic) and just needs Jesus so that she’ll come to her senses and become a boy. So he thinks his mean tweets are his way of saving her. What he doesn’t seem to grasp is that regardless of what he thinks of Jazz, she is above all else, a child. One that has done nothing to him nor anyone else, yet he feels the need to constantly talk about her. It’s not like Jazz is the “cash me outside” brat. If someone said something about his children, I’m sure he wouldn’t care about the semantics of whether or not someone said something “directly” to them. 

[zenme]

I'm no Jill fan, and I'm certainly NO FAN of Derk and the shit he spews, but  the two of them appeared no different than  how they normally appear, to me.  I was really expecting to see something different from  what everyone was  talking about, but there was nothing unusual to me.  Then again in high school I dated a devil worshipper and had no clue, so what do I know?

[WhineandCheez]

Quote

 

Woe is Derick, and of course Cathy chimes in. This followed tweets to him about Jazz, and about "begging" for money.....

https://mobile.twitter.com/derickmdillard/status/949284886040506368?p=v

 

Blerrgggg.  All he needs is a cross to climb on.  (I don't mean to be disrespectful to Jesus,) but Derrick is pulling the "I'm more martyred than you are" schtick. And Cathy is his faithful sidekick.  GEEZ...you'd think that if they were getting all reviled for their tweets, and it's so awful, they would, ya know, STOP DOING THEM???  last time I looked, we need food, clothing, shelter, and not Twitter.

Edited January 5, 2018 by WhineandCheez

[lascuba]

19 minutes ago, zenme said:

I'm no Jill fan, and I'm certainly NO FAN of Derk and the shit he spews, but  the two of them appeared no different than  how they normally appear, to me.  I was really expecting to see something different from  what everyone was  talking about, but there was nothing unusual to me.  Then again in high school I dated a devil worshipper and had no clue, so what do I know?

I agree. I guess I'm just oblivious to this kind of stuff, because I generally don't see a lot of things others do, like one of them looking particularly sad in a picture, etc. Jill and Derick look just like they always look to me, two weird and dorky homely-often-crossing-over-into-ugly people who have zero concept of what's appealing on camera despite years of being on tv. I do think there's been a big change in Jill from before her marriage to now, but that's been a gradual change that is easily explained by the disappointments life has thrown at The Perfect Duggar Child. The current version of Jill has been pretty much the same one since the scandals came out, as far as behavior on camera goes.

[Annb67]

5 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Well most of all you posters called that one. Who knew he'd come right out and Tweet it.

Oh Derick. Let me make something perfectly clear. Unless you have been tied naked to a fence on a freezing night, beaten and left to die on a country road for no other reason than who you love, you haven't been persecuted. Now get off the cross, sit your ass down, and shut your idiotic good for nothing mouth.

[bigskygirl]

2 minutes ago, Annb67 said:

Oh Derick. Let me make something perfectly clear. Unless you have been tied naked to a fence on a freezing night, beaten and left to die on a country road for no other reason than who you love, you haven't been persecuted. Now get off the cross, sit your ass down, and shut your idiotic good for nothing mouth.

Did I ever tell you how much I like your post.

Edited January 5, 2018 by bigskygirl

[toodles]

8 minutes ago, Annb67 said:

Oh Derick. Let me make something perfectly clear. Unless you have been tied naked to a fence on a freezing night, beaten and left to die on a country road for no other reason than who you love, you haven't been persecuted. Now get off the cross, sit your ass down, and shut your idiotic good for nothing mouth.

Luv this post???

[Angeltoes]

toodles, you're a Piglet fan!  Me, too!

Edited January 5, 2018 by Angeltoes

[TresGatos]

20 hours ago, toodles said:

What never happened?

That he killed a man in Danger America who was about to out him to the National Enquirer?

That never happened. Allegedly.

[xwordfanatik]

4 hours ago, Natalie68 said:

He is not the only one these days that makes me wonder wtf is going on in this country right now.  Denying you said something that millions of us witnessed seems to be a 'thing' these days.

I LOVE this post!  So true and so transparent, to people that can actually think!  

[Christina87]

3 hours ago, BitterApple said:

Sounds like the old Boobster should've vetted Derick more carefully instead of letting him marry his daughter after knowing her for five seconds.

Wasn't Derick the only one he didn't give the whole "you have to find a way to support my daughter" schtick to? HAHAHAHA he needs to have that convo now! He badgered poor bin and Jeremy about how their current lifestyles couldn't support a wife, but now, Jinger and Jessa are a lot better off! I'd pay a BILLION dollars to see a televised convo NOW about how Derick needed to support Jill. I'm sure Bin loves his family enough to get a real job when the time comes, and I could see Jeremy getting tired of fundamentalism when the cameras go away and using his MBA (I'm still not entirely convinced this fundie thing isn't a phase for him). I would love to see him go into business and move to NYC with Jinger. But one thing is clear...Derick needs the "how are you going to support Jill and the kids grifting?" talk!

[bigskygirl]

I do not see Ben getting a job anytime soon. He and Jessa are depending on the show and possibly the lawsuit to support their family. I cannot picture anyone with half a mind wanting to hire Dwerp Boy anytime soon especially if the rumors about him not wanting to work with women, take orders from women, or believe women are hussies who tempted him too much at work are true.

[madpsych78]

28 minutes ago, Christina87 said:

Wasn't Derick the only one he didn't give the whole "you have to find a way to support my daughter" schtick to? HAHAHAHA he needs to have that convo now! He badgered poor bin and Jeremy about how their current lifestyles couldn't support a wife, but now, Jinger and Jessa are a lot better off! I'd pay a BILLION dollars to see a televised convo NOW about how Derick needed to support Jill. I'm sure Bin loves his family enough to get a real job when the time comes, and I could see Jeremy getting tired of fundamentalism when the cameras go away and using his MBA (I'm still not entirely convinced this fundie thing isn't a phase for him). I would love to see him go into business and move to NYC with Jinger. But one thing is clear...Derick needs the "how are you going to support Jill and the kids grifting?" talk!

I thought it was Ben that we didn't see JB's spiel.

[toodles]

1 hour ago, TresGatos said:

That he killed a man in Danger America who was about to out him to the National Enquirer?

That never happened. Allegedly.

Oh, you mean this?  This was posted to Crazy Days and Nights right after the Jazz tweet.

I was waiting to write this later in the year after everyone was settled into their fall and winter routines. Why? Because I wanted everyone to see it and read it and know the kind of a-hole this hypocritical reality star is. His recent actions accelerated the need for this item. To call him a star is too much. He is in a family that collectively does a reality thing. He is a piece. A horrific piece. He loves to talk about how righteous he is and how his marriage is perfect and his family is perfect. Not so much. As homophobic as he is in public and what he says and writes, he is the first to find some guy he can exploit and have sex with. Always immigrants. Always. He tells them if they try to tell anyone, he will have them arrested. They don't know the truth. He just preys on them. When someone did try and expose him, our reality star killed him. I don't know if it was an accident or not. No one really knows the whole story except our subject and the dead person. What is known is that the dead person and our reality star were having sex. The wife of the reality star has no clue about the activities of her husband. She just does what he says and believes whatever he tells her. The sad thing is because of the circumstances surrounding the death and payoffs, nothing will ever happen to the reality star.

Believe or don't, this seems like it's coming from different sources.  Most of the CDAN guesses were Derick.  Remember Jilly Muffins's posts about a good friend murdered on the the Dillard Blog around this same same time and how upset they were about it.  YMMV of course, but for what's it's worth, I believe it.

Edited January 5, 2018 by toodles

[kokapetl]

I just can’t see Derick killing some guy in Central America. It would be overkill. If some male prostitute fuckbuddy was causing him problems, the problem would disappear if Derick just left that country.

Also, I can’t imagine the words “Hey hombre, ¿quieres joder?” coming out of Derick’s assymetrical mouth.

[Christina87]

1 hour ago, madpsych78 said:

I thought it was Ben that we didn't see JB's spiel.

I remember we did with Bin, because JB kind of went, "I've said not yet for a while because it's important to be able to support a wife..." (something implying the courtship was so long because Bin couldn't support her at the beginning, but had since graduated medical school as the valedictorian...it made no sense to me at the time because he had no means of support still, but had aged a year), "but I know Jessa feels the same way and I say yes." He was rudest to Jeremy, which is ironic, because I would say Chuck and Di are probably in the best financial situation of any in-laws, except maybe Cathy. At least they present themselves as middle-class, educated professionals and have some taste. 

I agree with whoever said they don't see Bin getting a job anytime soon, but I do think that when TLC money dries up, and they start to struggle, he will provide for his family. At least he did windshield repair before he moved up here. Derick has already been let go from TLC, and has chosen grifting  as his course of action! I think Bin would work before, for example, getting on government assistance, but I don't think there's any line derick's laziness wouldn't cross!

[Temperance]

I think it might be hard for Ben to support his family without some help, especially since they seem in-line to have a large family. It is hard for a family to live off one person's salary if that person makes minimal wage, even if they are frugal and have fewer kids. 

I do think that some years down the line Derick might be able to right this off as phase or fad, and be employable again if he dials back his views (at least in public, public being around anyone not immediate family).  

Edited January 6, 2018 by Temperance

[Christina87]

36 minutes ago, Temperance said:

I think it might be hard for Ben to support his family without some help, especially since they seem in-line to have a large family. It is hard for a family to live off one person's salary if that person makes minimal wage, even if they are frugal and have fewer kids. 

I do think that some years down the line Derick might be able to right this off as phase or fad, and be employable again if he dials back his views (at least in public, public being around anyone not immediate family).  

I wonder if somewhere down the line, Bin will go, "oh shit!!! I should have trained for some sort of career that would make money instead of going to bible college." My dad is a dentist, and my parents never tried to steer me in that direction, but now I'm slapping myself on the forehead and wondering what would have happened if I'd chosen that route. I'm a teacher and love it, and am fine living on this salary. However, some days I wonder why in the world I didn't pursue dentistry. I could have graduated dental school with no debt, had a ready-made practice to take over, been my own boss (especially this one...I have an awful boss!), and worked about the same number of days a year I do as a teacher, while making the cash to take elaborate vacations and live at the country club. When I was in college, pre-dentistry seemed like a "male" thing where you were exposed to blood all day and had to do a bunch of labs, while music education was lots of fun working with children and spending all day singing beautiful music (although majoring in music is HARD, but that's a story for another day). My parents encouraged me to pursue the arts, but sometimes I wish they'd steered me in a different direction. I think they were too worried about pressuring me! Most days I am happy, but if I had 10+ kids I would DEFINITELY wish I had trained for a six-figure job. I bet Bin will realize how extremely young he was when he made the decisions to get married, have children, and choose Bible college. When he's in his late twenties and sees people his age starting to settle down, he may realize just how much he lost by jumping the gun. The Duggars believe in working for themselves, but there are plenty of lucrative positions that you can do self-employed. Plumber or electrician anybody? Bin should be heading in the direction of a high-earning trade, and fast! I believe he truly does love his family and want the best for them. I could see him feeling bad down the road if Jessa and the boys are wearing rags. 

Derick, on the other hand, wouldn't care if he saw Jill and their boys in rags. He would just feel defensive and slighted, and blame everybody else while continuing to beg for cash. 

Edited January 6, 2018 by Christina87

[tabloidlover]

14 minutes ago, Christina87 said:

 Bin should be heading in the direction of a high-earning trade, and fast! I believe he truly does love his family and want the best for them. I could see him feeling bad down the road if Jessa and the boys are wearing rags. 

Derick, on the other hand, wouldn't care if he saw Jill and their boys in rags. He would just feel defensive and slighted, and blame everybody else while continuing to beg for cash. 

This!   X 1,000,000!!

[bigskygirl]

Ben could work along JD doing construction work or work along Joshly Do Rite selling used cars.

[Fuzzysox]

6 hours ago, BitterApple said:

Sounds like the old Boobster should've vetted Derick more carefully instead of letting him marry his daughter after knowing her for five seconds.

It's a complete shame that Jill ended up with such a wacko. What a way to waste your young life not being able to first escape your family but then you can't escape your krazy nutter of a husband.

[Jynnan tonnix]

5 hours ago, charmed1 said:

Right. Derick thinks that Jazz is being exploited by her parents (how ironic) and just needs Jesus so that she’ll come to her senses and become a boy. So he thinks his mean tweets are his way of saving her. What he doesn’t seem to grasp is that regardless of what he thinks of Jazz, she is above all else, a child. One that has done nothing to him nor anyone else, yet he feels the need to constantly talk about her. It’s not like Jazz is the “cash me outside” brat. If someone said something about his children, I’m sure he wouldn’t care about the semantics of whether or not someone said something “directly” to them. 

This makes one wonder...if someone WERE to make some sort of comment about his children, especially if it implied a sin nature...would he go into defensive mode and protect them, or double down on the "training"?  It's really rather painful to think about. 

[madpsych78]

2 hours ago, Christina87 said:

I remember we did with Bin, because JB kind of went, "I've said not yet for a while because it's important to be able to support a wife..." (something implying the courtship was so long because Bin couldn't support her at the beginning, but had since graduated medical school as the valedictorian...it made no sense to me at the time because he had no means of support still, but had aged a year), "but I know Jessa feels the same way and I say yes." He was rudest to Jeremy, which is ironic, because I would say Chuck and Di are probably in the best financial situation of any in-laws, except maybe Cathy. At least they present themselves as middle-class, educated professionals and have some taste. 

I agree with whoever said they don't see Bin getting a job anytime soon, but I do think that when TLC money dries up, and they start to struggle, he will provide for his family. At least he did windshield repair before he moved up here. Derick has already been let go from TLC, and has chosen grifting  as his course of action! I think Bin would work before, for example, getting on government assistance, but I don't think there's any line derick's laziness wouldn't cross!

Oh, maybe I was thinking of that time on 19 Kids when JB was going over how to remain debt free with Derick and I didn't remember any of that type of conversation taking place with Ben.

[lookeyloo]

1 hour ago, bigskygirl said:

Ben could work along JD doing construction work or work along Joshly Do Rite selling used cars.

And maybe he does. We don't really see him on a daily basis. Just what they want us to see. 

[SMama]

Boob did grill Derelict about how he was going to support Jill. IIRC Derelict said he had recently started a position, but don’t remember the exact details, or what the position entailed. I only remember because I was incredulous when he didn’t ask Ben for specifics. Boob was the worst with Jeremy, he was out to humiliate the man. Probably because Jeremy was no dope like the other two, and his family is far better educated.

Edited January 6, 2018 by SMama

[Arwen Evenstar]

15 minutes ago, madpsych78 said:

Oh, maybe I was thinking of that time on 19 Kids when JB was going over how to remain debt free with Derick and I didn't remember any of that type of conversation taking place with Ben.

So Dreck understood that debt free = job free = grifting for what you want/need? Sounds all Duggar to me.

[toodles]

25 minutes ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

So Dreck understood that debt free = job free = grifting for what you want/need? Sounds all Duggar to me.

All Duggar, all the time.

[Arwen Evenstar]

It just doesn’t make sense. Jim Boob grilled Dreck by asking him if it was right to borrow money for a car repair. Since the correct answer was No,  one would think that being solvent = working.  How can you be solvent while doing interpretive dance, twattering, and God blithering  college students? You would have to either be independently wealthy, have a lucrative criminal enterprise, or be an expert grifter who makes others pay for/buy everything for you/donate to you.  

[GeeGolly]

33 minutes ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

It just doesn’t make sense. Jim Boob grilled Dreck by asking him if it was right to borrow money for a car repair. Since the correct answer was No,  one would think that being solvent = working.  How can you be solvent while doing interpretive dance, twattering, and God blithering  college students? You would have to either be independently wealthy, have a lucrative criminal enterprise, or be an expert grifter who makes others pay for/buy everything for you/donate to you.  

Expert Grifter for $1000 Arwen.

[Arwen Evenstar]

7 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Expert Grifter for $1000 Arwen.

Maybe I need to attend the Dillard School of Grifting. I must be a chump for wishing I could be well enough to work.

[louannems]

Since when has any Duggar kidult had to even buy their own car?  Or pay to repair it!  They seem to drive SUV's right from day one of married life, job or no job.

[WhineandCheez]

Quote

Maybe I need to attend the Dillard School of Grifting. I must be a chump for wishing I could be well enough to work.

It seems like the Magic Key that makes it "moral" is somehow you must Grift for the Lord.  If Jesus, God or the Bible is somehow mentioned, than it's not grifting, it's A Calling.  ( By that formula, an Atheist Hispanic man named "Jesus" is an A-OK grifter.)

Edited January 6, 2018 by WhineandCheez

[Christina87]

10 hours ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

It just doesn’t make sense. Jim Boob grilled Dreck by asking him if it was right to borrow money for a car repair. Since the correct answer was No,  one would think that being solvent = working.  How can you be solvent while doing interpretive dance, twattering, and God blithering  college students? You would have to either be independently wealthy, have a lucrative criminal enterprise, or be an expert grifter who makes others pay for/buy everything for you/donate to you.  

My sister COULD be an expert grifter if she wanted to. She was spoiled rotten growing up, and she knew if she mentioned something in every sentence for a while, my parents would get tired of hearing it and get it for her. What amazed me, though, was on the rare occasion my parents wouldn't give into her demands, some friend would "donate" exactly what she wanted (usually a dude with a crush on her). She's been given iPods, phones, speakers, laptops, and once even a free desktop computer, just for whining, "my parents won't get me one!!!" Usually said "friend" would produce it astonishingly quick too, like the next day, and she'd smugly prance around the house with the item my parents said she couldn't have the day before. Seems like one of her friends always has an "extra" blah blah blah, or is willing to buy her one, even in high school! I'm just amazed that any high school kid would be willing to shell out that kind of money to someone who is already totally spoiled, and doesn't take care of her things, as most of the time my parents had put their foot down because they'd previously bought her the item and she'd quickly broken it (usually while drunk). Even though she's come a long way and works for a living now, she still gets my dad to pay for a lot of stupid crap. I'd consider her an expert level grifter for sure, and Derick a level one grifter!

Edited January 6, 2018 by Christina87

[bigskygirl]

14 hours ago, Fuzzysox said:

It's a complete shame that Jill ended up with such a wacko. What a way to waste your young life not being able to first escape your family but then you can't escape your krazy nutter of a husband.

Dwerp Boy was fine until he got married. He started going downhill fast after  marrying Jill so fast, the job at Wal Mart did not work out at all for him, the molestation scandal hit the fan, Jill getting pregnant too fast, his mother being sick, and Jill's constant clinginess. I am not saying there is something seriously wrong with him, but I do not think we should put all the blame on him for the marriage going sour. She thought she was in love with him from the beginning and acted like a silly thirteen year old girl with her first crush playing house with a baby on the way. Neither one of them had the common sense God gave a goose (sorry do not mean to insult geese) when it comes to marriage and parenthood.

[DangerousMinds]

I simply don't have any patience with the expectation that all of these boys/men must solely support their wives and children. Most people need 2 incomes in order to support a family these days. I just can't feel for any couple that doesn't/refuses to realize this. JMHO.

[floridamom]

Why is it speculated here that Jill's marriage is in trouble? We all think Derick is a loon, but Jill was 'trained up' to follow him no matter what and to agree with him on all things. So, what is the problem in their relationship? She's back in Arkansas, next to her family, which she needs to survive day to day.

[bigskygirl]

24 minutes ago, floridamom said:

Why is it speculated here that Jill's marriage is in trouble? We all think Derick is a loon, but Jill was 'trained up' to follow him no matter what and to agree with him on all things. So, what is the problem in their relationship? She's back in Arkansas, next to her family, which she needs to survive day to day.

If a woman is "trained up" to blindly follow her husband even when he is a total idiot loon, I say the marriage is in trouble. I do not think either one of them are happy at all. In Duggar Land, an unhappy marriage is better than no marriage at all.

Dwerp Boy does not think he and/or Cling Along Jill should get jobs because he feels Jesus will take care of the both of them and any children they have. He is the bestest most special God fearing snowflake out there.

[Celia Rubenstein]

45 minutes ago, floridamom said:

Why is it speculated here that Jill's marriage is in trouble? We all think Derick is a loon, but Jill was 'trained up' to follow him no matter what and to agree with him on all things. So, what is the problem in their relationship? 

Yeah, it's not like Jill was raised to expect a lot of personal fulfilment or happiness.  Taking orders from her husband, spitting out kid after kid, living in cramped conditions, relying on handouts .... it is was how she was brought up.  Her marriage is a just continuation of that incredibly fucked up cycle that Jill was dying to participate in.  I don't think there is reason to believe their relationship has gone "sour."  Things turned out pretty much as planned.

I realize Jill may not end up having as many kids as she probably would like, and Derek's fantasy of being a missionary hasn't turned out to be as easily fulfilled as he maybe thought it would be. But there is no indication that Jill and Derek don't get along or have any kind of real marital problems , not that I can see anyway. They are basically facing the same kinds of issues lots of young married people have to face - kids maybe coming too fast, jobs not working out, health issues. But I don't see any signs their marriage is failing as a result. Not yet anyway.

Edited January 6, 2018 by Celia Rubenstein

[louannems]

1 hour ago, DangerousMinds said:

I simply don't have any patience with the expectation that all of these boys/men must solely support their wives and children. Most people need 2 incomes in order to support a family these days. I just can't feel for any couple that doesn't/refuses to realize this. JMHO.

Especially since they don't seem to believe in a higher education.  So no doctors, (Joy wished to be a vetinarian),  lawyers, (Josh wished to be a lawyer), nurses, (Jill wished to be a nurse), etc.  

They will all do JMB's odd jobs, sell used cars, etc.  Low paying jobs and huge families, well, I just don't get it.

[bigskygirl]

Derick got some higher education and look how well that turned out. Josh is too darn fill of himself and lazy to become a lawyer, and Joy would need to learn math and science to become a veterinarian. I do not see any of this happening even if they were able to go to college.

[Christina87]

That's what bothers me about these kids pumping out babies quickly "for the show." They will still have to support these babies when the show ends!!! They should for real get puppies instead for ratings. They would be just as cute, and way easier to support in the long run!

[bigskygirl]

6 minutes ago, Christina87 said:

That's what bothers me about these kids pumping out babies quickly "for the show." They will still have to support these babies when the show ends!!! They should for real get puppies instead for ratings. They would be just as cute, and way easier to support in the long run!

Remember Derick and Cat Gate. None of these people should be allowed to have a pet of any kind.

[SMama]

I thought I read in one of the books that the girls get a car at 26, and the boys get a job. The parents claimed the girls had bank accounts and were taught how to balance a checkbook. I find the last one hard to believe because Boob is such a control freak. Can’t see him depositing money in their accounts. Then they would have their own money and some semblance of independence. I’m sure many here have a better recall of the actual claims and where they were made.

[madpsych78]

1 minute ago, SMama said:

I thought I read in one of the books that the girls get a car at 26, and the boys get a job. The parents claimed the girls had bank accounts and were taught how to balance a checkbook. I find the last one hard to believe because Boob is such a control freak. Can’t see him depositing money in their accounts. Then they would have their own money and some semblance of independence. I’m sure many here have a better recall of the actual claims and where they were made.

Currently only two of the girls (Jana and Jill) have experienced the age of 26. If the book was written before Jana turned 26, then none of the girls would have been old enough to get a car per their rules. I'm wondering if the book meant 16?  Either way, Jana is the only one who I can see JB and M providing a car since she is still single.

I don't find the girls being taught how to balance a checkbook that difficult to believe, but it would be strange if the girls had bank accounts and the boys did not, especially if the boys were the ones who were supposed to get a job.

[Arwen Evenstar]

1 minute ago, madpsych78 said:

I don't find the girls being taught how to balance a checkbook that difficult to believe, but it would be strange if the girls had bank accounts and the boys did not, especially if the boys were the ones who were supposed to get a job.

I guess that’s the “dowry” the girls bring to the marriage, so they can have a semblance of comfort, while their headshit has a semblance of employment and “authority over his wife”.  Eventually, money runs out, regardless of how careful you are when there’s nothing coming in. 

[Arwen Evenstar]

2 hours ago, Celia Rubenstein said:

I realize Jill may not end up having as many kids as she probably would like, and Derek's fantasy of being a missionary hasn't turned out to be as easily fulfilled as he maybe thought it would be. But there is no indication that Jill and Derek don't get along or have any kind of real marital problems , not that I can see anyway. They are basically facing the same kinds of issues lots of young married people have to face - kids maybe coming too fast, jobs not working out, health issues. But I don't see any signs their marriage is failing as a result. Not yet anyway.

Well, even if it were, Ma and Pa Kettle would only need to get a sniff of their discontent and “counsel” the couple by shaming Jilly Muffin.  They will be told to “pray harder”, because they “are only going through a season”.  If Jill even hinted she was “depressed”, she would be shut down by the same Fundiespeak that would say she was “going through a season” and needed “to work on her contentment.”

So if they really are in trouble, they won’t know it, or will deny it, or be too delusional to do anything about it.  Like in Taming of the Shrew, Jilly is “madly mated”. They’re so messed up, but as long as they think it’s working, or they both are “all in” no matter what, they’ll make it. 

[cmr2014]

3 hours ago, floridamom said:

Why is it speculated here that Jill's marriage is in trouble? We all think Derick is a loon, but Jill was 'trained up' to follow him no matter what and to agree with him on all things. So, what is the problem in their relationship? She's back in Arkansas, next to her family, which she needs to survive day to day.

Jill may have been "trained up" to follow her headship, but she also had very specific expectations of that headship. She was the perfect Gothard daughter who followed all of the rules and married the man that God had chosen for her as revealed through her father. She should have gotten a perfect husband and had a perfect marriage. It's definitely speculation, but I think she's been very disappointed in marriage.

Derick was sold a bill of goods -- a good Christian woman who wanted to be a missionary and travel the world spreading the Good Word and helping others. What he got was an emotionally damaged young woman who lacks the capacity or the willingness to work to become a missionary, and has no interest in (literally) ever leaving her parent's house. To me, he is bitter and angry at being back in Arkansas and is disappointed in his life in general as much as he is in his marriage.

In terms of actual proof -- that's very thin. When they were in DA, JB and J'chelle made at least one trip down there that was clearly for "marriage counseling" purposes. While they were there, Jill was posting a lot of stuff on SM that clearly comes from the Gothard marriage counseling materials.

Someone posted a link on this board to a chat with a young woman who knew the Duggars -- not well, but she knew them. Most of her statements were very vanilla "the kids are very close," "J'chelle is as nice as she appears on TV," etc. One person asked her about Jill and Derick's marriage. Her response was that it was considered a "cautionary tale" to the others.

[ChiCricket]

5 hours ago, Christina87 said:

My sister COULD be an expert grifter if she wanted to. She was spoiled rotten growing up, and she knew if she mentioned something in every sentence for a while, my parents would get tired of hearing it and get it for her. What amazed me, though, was on the rare occasion my parents wouldn't give into her demands, some friend would "donate" exactly what she wanted (usually a dude with a crush on her). She's been given iPods, phones, speakers, laptops, and once even a free desktop computer, just for whining, "my parents won't get me one!!!" Usually said "friend" would produce it astonishingly quick too, like the next day, and she'd smugly prance around the house with the item my parents said she couldn't have the day before. Seems like one of her friends always has an "extra" blah blah blah, or is willing to buy her one, even in high school! I'm just amazed that any high school kid would be willing to shell out that kind of money to someone who is already totally spoiled, and doesn't take care of her things, as most of the time my parents had put their foot down because they'd previously bought her the item and she'd quickly broken it (usually while drunk). Even though she's come a long way and works for a living now, she still gets my dad to pay for a lot of stupid crap. I'd consider her an expert level grifter for sure, and Derick a level one grifter!

Have a sister just like that. My parents did her no favors. She has SEVEN children and when she became homeless, not one of them was willing to take her in because they knew she would never move out.

(she moved in with a friend, what a fool to let her, she'll NEVER leave)

Parents do their kids a huge disservice when they enable like this.

Oops...back to Derick..wonder why one kid in the family is a designated grifter/leech and enabled by a parent and the other sibling(s) are not?

Am I imagining that Derick's mother got him the only real job he's ever had?

Edited January 6, 2018 by ChiCricket
double words

[bigskygirl]

30 minutes ago, ChiCricket said:

Have a sister just like that. My parents did her no favors. She has SEVEN children and when she became homeless, not one of them was willing to take her in because they knew she would never move out.

(she moved in with a friend, what a fool to let her, she'll NEVER leave)

Parents do their kids a huge disservice when they enable like this.

Oops...back to Derick..wonder why one kid in the family is a designated grifter/leech and enabled by a parent and the other sibling(s) are not?

Am I imagining that Derick's mother got him the only real job he's ever had?

My brother is 58 years old and never lived on his own. In some ways he reminds me of Dwerp Boy (lazy, entitled, whiner, and thinks the world is there at his disposal.) My mother is a class A Enabler when it comes to my brother (sounds like someone we all know *cough* Cathy *cough*)

According to Dwerp Boy, Wal Mart was not his first job. He has worked all his life. *rolling eyes* I still wish his step father would come out and spill the beans. He could make a small mint on a tell all book.

[JoanArc]

7 hours ago, floridamom said:

Why is it speculated here that Jill's marriage is in trouble?

Her husband got her kicked off the show. That's violating the first commandement - no messing with the fame and money.