Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[dariafan]

I haven’t been on the thread for awhile.  Jill seemed to be doing some progressing.  And then had the baby and now I’m not so much in her corner   What happened ???

[SMama]

28 minutes ago, Lady Whistleup said:

Jill is shilling the Intimately Us app.

Why do the Dillards insist on traumatizing us with even a hint of their lotion time? Why do they need help with conversation topics?
 

Too bad there isn’t an app to help Jill put her big girl panties on, send Israel and Sam to school, and keep herself busy as the full time mother she claims to enjoy being. 

[ginger90]

6 minutes ago, dariafan said:

I haven’t been on the thread for awhile.  Jill seemed to be doing some progressing.  And then had the baby and now I’m not so much in her corner   What happened ???

What is it that’s making you feel that way?

[peppergal]

3 minutes ago, dariafan said:

I haven’t been on the thread for awhile.  Jill seemed to be doing some progressing.  And then had the baby and now I’m not so much in her corner   What happened ???

I suspect it is a combination of new baby and moving house and new job for hubby.  She seems to live her life a lot on inertia, so tackling new schools and finding new friends is probably more than she can handle, so she is falling back on some of her old habits of focusing her life on her hubby (and invading his workplace) and on her online presence.

Maybe she will settle in enough that she will feel comfortable next fall with getting her older kids in/back in school (if they aren't there now) or into enrichment programs like she used to do at the library.  Or maybe she will stay in her new little cocoon and keep her kids in there with her.  I suspect a lot will have to do with what friends she manages to make in her new neighborhood.

[sagittarius sue]

My feeling is that Jill should've held off on pregnancy-new baby until they were established with a new home and Derick's new job.  Too many stressful things at the same time which could have been alleviated.

[SMama]

5 hours ago, sagittarius sue said:

My feeling is that Jill should've held off on pregnancy-new baby until they were established with a new home and Derick's new job.  Too many stressful things at the same time which could have been alleviated.

Fundies are allergic to planning, it would have required simpleton Jill to anticipate what it would be like to juggle three kids. Derick deserves a kick to his rear end because he knows better. 

Edited February 3, 2023 by SMama

[leighdear]

7 hours ago, SMama said:

Why do the Dillards insist on traumatizing us with even a hint of their lotion time? Why do they need help with conversation topics?

This is starting to get very strange, how obsessed Jill has become with all the sex-themed influencing. One or two items, maybe. But how many is this?

Is that REALLY appropriate for a trauma survivor who's brother is in Federal Prison for sex crimes?  Is she doing this as some "coping" mechanism?  

None of her siblings seem to keep going to that particular well in their shilling.  Just seems like Jill can't stop obsessing about sexual things.  It's gross.  

[Lady Whistleup]

Jill's marriage is probably going through a rough time, and their finances might be taking a hit too. New baby, new job, new home, new mortgage. So she feels like shilling the app gives her some money and improve her marriage.

[Zella]

Personally, I think it's in poor taste to shame a victim of childhood sexual abuse for posting about sex. That's entirely separate from whether or not Jill shares too much. She does. But it's really gross to say that because her brother abused her it's inappropriate for her to publicly talk about sex. 

That thinking is every bit as toxic as what the Duggars teach about sex. 

Edited February 3, 2023 by Zella

[AstridM]

43 minutes ago, Zella said:

Personally, I think it's in poor taste to shame a victim of childhood sexual abuse for posting about sex. That's entirely separate from whether or not Jill shares too much. She does. But it's really gross to say that because her brother abused her it's inappropriate for her to publicly talk about sex. 

That thinking is every bit as toxic as what the Duggars teach about sex. 

Exactly. I prefer her shilling sex-related stuff to cultish homeschooling materials. 🤷‍♀️

[Zella]

23 minutes ago, AstridM said:

Exactly. I prefer her shilling sex-related stuff to cultish homeschooling materials. 🤷‍♀️

I wish she'd just stop shilling in general, but I realize that's probably asking for too much. 😂

[GeeGolly]

What I think is going on is we're unfortunately getting a peek into how much influence Derick has over Jill. If you watch the video, its IMO, 100% Derick. By virtue of asking/demanding money, Derick had positioned himself and Jill as JB haters. As the daughter and SIL who went rogue. Now we have Jinger, the one Duggar child who is actually speaking out against the way the Duggar 19 were raised getting all this attention. Jinger and her book are actual news stories and not just tabloid articles quoting Derick's anti-JB SM campaign.

IMO Derick is all hot and bothered and this is him saying, hey wait, we're the special Duggar kids, not Jinger.

[Gemma Violet]

The video shows Jill and Derek learning ballroom dancing.  That's really nice to see.

[Salacious Kitty]

Since when did they have a large screen TV? 

[GeeGolly]

We spent weeks, or possibly months sharing our opinions about the molestations becoming public. Many felt the sisters were wrong in claiming the publicity was harming them. From then on every odd move one of the sisters made was scrutinized through the lens of their molestations.

I said it then and I'll say it again, this is one of the bajillion reasons survivors don't come forward. As @Zella said, its unfair to assign the actions of survivors to their past.

And while I'm at it, this is also one of the reasons mental health issues are kept quiet. Every weird or deviant move a person makes, someone tries to diagnose them as mentally ill. Or if their diagnosis is known much of what they do will be blamed on their illness.

IMO, we all need to do better.

[oliviabenson]

$60,000 salary would not even rent you a 2 bedroom apartment in my city. Probably can get a lot of aid as family of 5. 
 

I think the boys are homeschooled. I’m not surprised. Jill looks like she will run on Duggar time forever.

Edited February 3, 2023 by oliviabenson

[oliviabenson]

It looks to me that D dangled baby #3 as a reward for finishing law school. Jill probably begged him for more kids after Sam. 

[Ohiopirate02]

9 minutes ago, oliviabenson said:

It looks to me that D dangled baby #3 as a reward for finishing law school. Jill probably begged him for more kids after Sam. 

I don't think that was the case here.  I never got the impression that Derick and Jill were the actively seeking pregnancy type similar to Anna or Jessa.  More like two weirdos who love each other and like sex.  They did use some natural family planning methods between Sam and Freddie.  The timing of Jill's miscarriage and her getting pregnant with Freddie does not make me think they were actively TTC.  Two pregnancies during the period between Derick finishing law school and before he passed the bar.  That just reads like they were not being careful.  If they had planned baby #3, they would have waited until Derick passed the bar, had a job lined up, and moved.  Jill was in her third trimester when they moved.  

[GeeGolly]

2 hours ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I don't think that was the case here.  I never got the impression that Derick and Jill were the actively seeking pregnancy type similar to Anna or Jessa.  More like two weirdos who love each other and like sex.  They did use some natural family planning methods between Sam and Freddie.  The timing of Jill's miscarriage and her getting pregnant with Freddie does not make me think they were actively TTC.  Two pregnancies during the period between Derick finishing law school and before he passed the bar.  That just reads like they were not being careful.  If they had planned baby #3, they would have waited until Derick passed the bar, had a job lined up, and moved.  Jill was in her third trimester when they moved.  

Derick wasn't, but Jill wanted to be. Derick and Jill did a Q&A during his Church Camp year and they were not on the same page at all. I think Derick was more, when the time is right, and Jill was, its always the right time.

I guessing baby River, then Freddy were planned. I don't think the move was something they were planning though. The job he found made moving make sense.

[Lady Whistleup]

It seems as if Jill kind of retreated back to her Duggar ways once Freddie was born. I actually wouldn't be surprised if the miscarriage made her think she wasn't godly enough and thus she needed to go back to her upbringing to be more fertile.

[ginger90]

17 minutes ago, Lady Whistleup said:

It seems as if Jill kind of retreated back to her Duggar ways once Freddie was born.

I’m curious why you think this.

[Lady Whistleup]

Just now, ginger90 said:

I’m curious why you think this.

Kids back to being homeschooled, she now seems to wear skirts almost exclusively.

[auntieminem]

4 hours ago, Lady Whistleup said:

Kids back to being homeschooled, she now seems to wear skirts almost exclusively.

It has not be verified the kids are being homeschooled.  She has not responded to questions about school.  Even if she is at this time I do not see that being long term as education is too important to Derick. On IG she is mostly in pants and shorts. 

[GeeGolly]

I had no idea Derick posted this on his IG. 😬

[BetyBee]

Sure, Jan - you didn't know Jill was going to take a pic. That is way more of Derick Dillard than I ever wanted to see!

[LilJen]

Well, I just hope Fenna hasn’t deposited anything in that part of the yard…

[Suzn]

36 minutes ago, LilJen said:

Well, I just hope Fenna hasn’t deposited anything in that part of the yard…

Oddly, I hope the opposite.  The big goon...

[DXD526]

Ugh, Derick. Nobody wants to see that.

Barf emoji. 

[jcbrown]

2 hours ago, Suzn said:

Oddly, I hope the opposite.  The big goon...

I also hope the opposite but I do not find it odd... 😉

[GeeGolly]

Prince Harry mentions in his book how his penis didn't fare too well on a trek to the North Pole and he was dressed for the elements. Derick best be careful because we all know what ballroom dancing in your living room leads to. 🥶😁

[the-grey-lady]

On 1/17/2023 at 6:46 PM, Lady Whistleup said:

Work is usually a space where people can have a separate existence from their spouses.

Yeah, but they don't believe in having a separate existence from their spouses.

If I didn't have a separate existence from my spouse, I'd stick my head in an oven.

[quarks]

To me, Jill seems to be very much in a damned if you, damned if you don't situation. On the one hand, people are squawking at her to get a job, and on the other hand, when she tries to sell something on social media - which is a job, - she gets criticized, and told to get a job. 

Same with the schooling. I happen to disagree with many commentators here - I think if Jill were doing homeschooling, we'd be hearing a lot more about that and seeing far more pictures of her kids. The silence on schooling suggests to me that her two oldest kids are in school, but the school in question has asked her not to confirm this on social media, something both private/public schools often ask of parents less well known than Derick and Jill. 

[SMama]

44 minutes ago, quarks said:

The silence on schooling suggests to me that her two oldest kids are in school, but the school in question has asked her not to confirm this on social media, something both private/public schools often ask of parents less well known than Derick and Jill. 

Jill could acknowledge the kids are in school in many ways that would not mention what school they are attending. She could caption a picture "after dropping the boys off at school," even "it was such a nice day we walked to school this morning," really, there are endless ways to do it.

[Zella]

54 minutes ago, quarks said:

I think if Jill were doing homeschooling, we'd be hearing a lot more about that and seeing far more pictures of her kids.

I think Jill is well aware of how much she'd be criticized for going back to homeschooling after she had Izzy in public school. I think her silence is because she's aware of that. She doesn't want to get flamed for her decision. Your premise that she'd be posting more about it assumes she's proud of homeschooling and wants to share it. I don't think that's necessarily true. 

Edited February 8, 2023 by Zella

[Stevie Nicks]

2 hours ago, quarks said:

To me, Jill seems to be very much in a damned if you, damned if you don't situation. On the one hand, people are squawking at her to get a job, and on the other hand, when she tries to sell something on social media - which is a job, - she gets criticized, and told to get a job. 

 

Selling things on social media may indeed be a job. But it doesn't require a specific schedule, or having to deal with child care and actually getting up every morning, getting kids ready and dropping them off at school and daycare then going to work for 8 hours, picking up the kids and then doing afternoon/evening chores. In other words, doing what the vast majority of women do every day. Live by a schedule. Which the Duggars (including Jill) have never mastered. I think that's the problem people have with her job situation. 

[lookeyloo]

Y'all know I don't love these people.  But why should anyone have a problem if Jill has a job or what that "job" is. As long as I'm not forced to buy anything  or support them or that they are "on the dole" that's on them. Would I do it? No. Would I homeschool?  No.  Still wish they would have some epiphany about their odious beliefs 

[Snow Fairy]

3 hours ago, Zella said:

I think Jill is well aware of how much she'd be criticized for going back to homeschooling after she had Izzy in public school. I think her silence is because she's aware of that. She doesn't want to get flamed for her decision. Your premise that she'd be posting more about it assumes she's proud of homeschooling and wants to share it. I don't think that's necessarily true. 

So why is she homeschooling if she doesn't think she can do a good job with it?

If I knew my knowledge isn't enough to educate my children, I would put their needs first and get them to school.

Giving your children a chance in education is more important than having them around 24/7 so you what.... don't get bored or have any obligations?

[ozziemom]

I’m still hoping Derick agreed to homeschool this year since he realizes how fragile Jill is. With a newborn, new house and his new work schedule, she may have been too overwhelmed this summer. Otherwise I’m not sure what his long term plan for the boys following in his footsteps to college is. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[all fall down]

7 hours ago, Snow Fairy said:

So why is she homeschooling if she doesn't think she can do a good job with it?

If I knew my knowledge isn't enough to educate my children, I would put their needs first and get them to school.

Giving your children a chance in education is more important than having them around 24/7 so you what.... don't get bored or have any obligations?

That's the difference between you and the fundies. They homeschool because they don't want the "evil public schools" having influence on their children.

The point in fundies homeschooling is control, not education. They don't place any value on a good education. I think that's long been true of many religions. Mistrust of the educated.

They think knowledge of the bible is all the education you need, but will do the bare minimum to pass state/local requirements, even if they don't agree with them. 

As for Jill, I go back and forth on what I think she's doing this year. We know when Sam was a baby she had a hard time adjusting to life with two kids. Now that she has an infant again, she might have decided getting the kids to school was too much for her. Especially with having just moved. But who knows. I at least hope that if she is indeed homeschooling this year, that maybe next year when Freddie is a little older, Izzy and Sam will go back to school. 

Edited February 9, 2023 by all fall down

[ginger90]

It is not known if she’s homeschooling or not.

[Kiss my mutt]

If Jill is homeschooling, i would I think keeping two other kids home with a baby would be more overwhelming, Especially with school pretty close by.  At least that was my experience. 

[thehorseofpower]

25 minutes ago, Kiss my mutt said:

If Jill is homeschooling, i would I think keeping two other kids home with a baby would be more overwhelming, Especially with school pretty close by.  At least that was my experience. 

These are exactly my thoughts. If she is struggling to adjust to three kids, or is having post-partum issues in general, having two active boys at home that need daily schooling and structure sounds like the worst possible situation for her to put herself in. Having two of them gone at school most of the day so she can focus on just the baby and home chores seems like it would be a relief. Yes, getting the kids up and ready and out the door can be stressful but it's nothing compared to an entire day of homeschooling (virtual schooling for my two kids during the early pandemic was hard enough and there was an actual teacher involved in keeping things on track for that)!

If she is indeed homeschooling, doing it because it's "easier" for her during an emotionally volatile time doesn't make any sense to me.

[GeeGolly]

Jill keeping the boys home because its easier for her makes total sense to me, because she is Jill.

Its all a trade off, meal times, showers, early mornings, drop-offs and pick-ups are a lot of work and even more work for someone who isn't big on schedules. I loved when summertime came because we had more freedom as a family. But I also loved the 9 months of the school year.

If the boys are home it could be because Jill is struggling with an adulthood she never saw or lived. Or it could be because the Dillards don't approve of certain curriculums. Or both. Or maybe the boys are at school.

If the boys were attending school it'd be easy enough to post pics or events without revealing the school. And if we think back to Jill's previous posts of Izzy, all but the one picture in front of the school sign (SMH) none of her posts named the school, he didn't wear a uniform either. They were posts of character day, meal coupon awards for reading, running errands with Sam before pick-up time, etc, without one mention of the school.

[ozziemom]

Last school year Jill had Derick around more and only Izzy to get ready for school. That’s part of what I think is overwhelming for Jill, she grew up on Duggar time so two boys and no Derick, is too much to handle. Homeschooling done by Jill, if anything like the SOTDRT, probably doesn’t take up too much of her time. But I could be wrong, I actually hope I am and that Sam & Izzy are happily at school with a variety of friends.

[quarks]

1 hour ago, Stevie Nicks said:

Selling things on social media may indeed be a job. But it doesn't require a specific schedule, or having to deal with child care and actually getting up every morning, getting kids ready and dropping them off at school and daycare then going to work for 8 hours, picking up the kids and then doing afternoon/evening chores. In other words, doing what the vast majority of women do every day. Live by a schedule. Which the Duggars (including Jill) have never mastered. I think that's the problem people have with her job situation. 

 

Social media campaigns/sales pitches frequently do require a specific schedule and everything else you are mentioning. 

Jill is, admittedly, not participating in a carefully planned, year long launch of a major product/film/television show/book, but she's also not just randomly throwing up posts. She has to coordinate those posts with the marketing staff at those companies, which means getting those posts up within a specific time frame.  

And since Jill's a D-list - well, really F-list or lower - celebrity, whose major recent claim to fame is that she has a brother in federal prison, it's possible  - even probable - that she's also spending time offering her services to various businesses.

They don't have a nanny, and at least one child isn't in school at all, so she's doing childcare, scheduled or unscheduled. 

7 hours ago, Zella said:

I think Jill is well aware of how much she'd be criticized for going back to homeschooling after she had Izzy in public school. I think her silence is because she's aware of that. She doesn't want to get flamed for her decision. Your premise that she'd be posting more about it assumes she's proud of homeschooling and wants to share it. I don't think that's necessarily true. 

But does Jill see it that way?

I mean, yes, if she says that she's back to homeschooling, she's opening herself up to a lot of criticism - I agree with you there. But she was also heavily criticized for putting him into public school in the first place by many conservative Christians, the group she still belongs to, and who probably haven't changed their views on the "evils" of public schools since making those comments.  As I said, damned if she does, damned if she doesn't.

That said, she does have one solid reason for publicizing homeschooling that has nothing to do with pride or worries about criticism - it might at the very least get her some comped homeschooling supplies, and possibly even bring in some income. I don't think the family is close to starving, or anything like that, but since Jill is still shilling things, they may need, or think they need, more money.

[Zella]

10 minutes ago, quarks said:

As I said, damned if she does, damned if she doesn't.

She is damned if she does and damned if she doesn't, but I think in recent years she's tended to cater more to the crowd that would praise her for sending her kid to public school on her social media. 

[GeeGolly]

10 minutes ago, Zella said:

She is damned if she does and damned if she doesn't, but I think in recent years she's tended to cater more to the crowd that would praise her for sending her kid to public school on her social media. 

It seems to me all of the Duggars are damned if they do or damned if they don't. Kind of like, oh I don't know, every famous person that keeps putting themselves out there on SM. Of all the Duggars Jill and Jinger are the ones who have dipped their toes in both sides. For sure they are conservative Christians, but they have let go of some things Gothard with Jill and apparently all things Gothard with Jinger. The haters and humpers are not in short supply, so someone will always have something negative to say. But IMO, over the last 2 or 3 years Jill has gotten a lot of love from the haters and seemed to enjoy it very much. Which leaves me to believe the boys are home.

[Zella]

4 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

It seems to me all of the Duggars are damned if they do or damned if they don't. Kind of like, oh I don't know, every famous person that keeps putting themselves out there on SM.

Yes when I first wrote my comment, I almost edited my post to add, "She's damned if she does and damned if she doesn't. Largely by her own hand." 

The Duggar kids had no real say about their parents making them famous when they were children. That's not on them, and I suspect it gave many of them very distorted ideas about what constitutes TMI or boundaries about publicity. I do have some sympathy for them on that. But how they choose to use social media as adults is very much on them, especially as they marry, have children of their own, and reach their 30s.

From the adults, we've seen some of them decide to scale back and truly lead what seems to be a private life now (Josiah and Lauren). It's not impossible for a Duggar to avoid living their life as an open book. And if they do want to do that and post all about it online or develop boundaries of what they post and what they don't, well, that's their prerogative.  

But if you post personal stuff online, people are going to comment. It's not always going to be fair comments or nice comments or reasonable comments, but it's an inevitable side effect of putting yourself out there. 

I also think it's disingenuous of people like the Duggars to advertise the hell out of their lives to strangers but then act pissy when those strangers then have questions. They have every right to not answer those questions, but it's silly to act like they have no idea why people are curious or think it's OK to ask such a personal question. Because you keep pimping out your personal life, dummies! 

[Gemma Violet]

3 hours ago, Zella said:

I also think it's disingenuous of people like the Duggars to advertise the hell out of their lives to strangers but then act pissy when those strangers then have questions. They have every right to not answer those questions, but it's silly to act like they have no idea why people are curious or think it's OK to ask such a personal question. Because you keep pimping out your personal life, dummies! 

Jill doesn't come to mind when I read this paragraph. 

Now, Jessa....that's another story.  😁

[GeeGolly]

4 hours ago, Gemma Violet said:

Jill doesn't come to mind when I read this paragraph. 

Now, Jessa....that's another story.  😁

Oh my goodness Jessa is the queen of snippy retorts! 

Jill too has snapped back but in more gentle ways and also in preemptive ways. This last time she and Derick thought they were playing a big ole joke on the interwebs after Jill told Derick folks were commenting on him wearing flipflops in the snow. I don't think even Jessa would go to the lengths the Dillards did this time around.

And now a small town Oklahoma ADA has his, not even funny, snap back pic, front and center on his IG for all to see. 👀