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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

Chris Knight

By Chris Knight
in Counting On

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Zella

Zella

1 minute ago, GeeGolly said:

I agree all babies should be celebrated, but not always with a shower. Jill's comment saying, I felt very loved, made it seem she saw the party as much for her as the baby. I mean folks can celebrate whatever they want, but it doesn't mean its tactful or appropriate. Maybe I'm getting harsh in my old age but to me baby showers are about the baby, not about the mom.

I think that makes sense. As I said, my friends aren't particularly fertile, so I don't have as strong of opinions about anything related to baby shower etiquette compared to weddings simply because I've not dealt with many of them comparatively speaking. Wedding bullshit, however, brings out my inner Emily Post fast. LOL 

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libgirl2

libgirl2

I had a baby shower for my first (and only). It was in a banquet room at a German restaurant. Way too much food to eat. When my best friend had her second daughter, she didn't have a second shower. I can see it if there is a big age gap or the second is a different gender. Or perhaps if it is a second marriage. My cousin divorced and remarried. She had a second shower as there was enough of an age gap. 

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GeeGolly

GeeGolly

6 minutes ago, Tdoc72 said:

And probably not the best last year or two.  Miscarriage & her brothers trial, dragging all the past crap up, & the fallout w/her parents. So I hope she did/does feel loved. 

I think everyone wants Jill to be happy and feel loved and appreciated, but it doesn't mean everyone agrees with her having a baby shower.

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lovesnark

lovesnark

13 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

I went to a baby shower and my daughter and I chatted afterwards that it was a gift grab. In lieu of a card we were supposed to bring books instead. Then we were asked to bring a box of disposable diapers to build the diaper pyramid with. (I did get a chuckle of that thinking of Jessa’s mountain of diapers, but wasn’t going to share my Duggar family viewing secrets 😂) Then she had a registry of gifts at a nearby store. Some gifts were not cheap and if you were late to get there (as I was) you’d have to go off the list and find another nice item to bring. Then there’s the “Fill the College Fund Piggy Bank” for cash grabs. The whole shabang cost me a pretty penny.  If this is what they have turned into, then that will be the last shower I ever plan to go to.

When I had my daughter I didn’t have one. I was horribly undersupplied. As I spent weeks in the hospital after having her (not one person in mine or my husband’s family visited due to being out of state) the nurse felt so sorry for me, so she bought a cute dress for my baby. I have never forgotten her kind gesture. It was the only gift I got except some onesies from my dear friend who knew I needed practical stuff. She slept in a drawer lined with a quilt. Things like that would never do these days.

I went to one similar to the one you went to. Except, it wasn't a 'College Fund Piggy Bank, it was a 'Help Her Pay the 10% Her Insurance Doesn't Cover' piggy bank. They also played a 'game' where you had a choice to sing a song on the playlist of music of the day or put $20 in a jar. I shouldn't have been surprised because this is the same woman who had a Honeymoon Fund jar at her wedding along with a tacky money dance. She also asked me to do all the flowers for the wedding for free. I said no.

I don't have a problem with Jill's friends and family having a shower for her and it looks like they all had fun. She's had a lot going on this year and with just moving into a new house while trying to get ready to have another kid, she probably really appreciated it.

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Lady Whistleup

Lady Whistleup

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8 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I think everyone wants Jill to be happy and feel loved and appreciated, but it doesn't mean everyone agrees with her having a baby shower.

I mean ... what's wrong with a baby shower though? She's having a baby. Sam is about four years old, so it's likely that a lot of the infant stuff she has is very old and not in good condition anymore.

It's really just a small party.

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GeeGolly

GeeGolly

1 minute ago, Lady Whistleup said:

I mean ... what's wrong with a baby shower though? She's having a baby. Sam is about four years old, so it's likely that a lot of the infant stuff she has is very old and not in good condition anymore.

It's really just a small party.

For me it harkens back to the Dillards' sense of entitlement. Grifting for money during their mission trip as they flew back and forth frequently. Derick grifting for money as he flailed around trying to find himself. Jill posting their PO box addresses in order to receive "happy mail".

The Dillards intentionally tried to get pregnant, so one would hope they planned on buying what they needed. The Dillards made the decision to move, so one would hope they had plans in place to make the transition easier. Jill also went through some hard times in the last couple of years. But... to me, the Dillards' lives resemble that of the majority of folks I know - a mixed bag of good and bad. Most know they're loved and supported without gift giving gatherings.

I agree with you - the party is no big deal, but like I said, the big picture just gives me a different feeling about it.

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SnapHappy

SnapHappy

It was a social media photo op for Amy.  Jill just happened to be an excuse. 

Amy owns a damn clothes store and Jill keeps shilling for kids clothes places.  She can get all the crap she needs, even without having her sisters to trade with. 

They both look really rough.  That wannabe Daenerys Targaryen hair Jill's sporting looks even worse than her last foray into the shredded bleach blonde territory.  

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Lady Whistleup

Lady Whistleup

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(edited)
8 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

For me it harkens back to the Dillards' sense of entitlement. Grifting for money during their mission trip as they flew back and forth frequently. Derick grifting for money as he flailed around trying to find himself. Jill posting their PO box addresses in order to receive "happy mail".

The Dillards intentionally tried to get pregnant, so one would hope they planned on buying what they needed. The Dillards made the decision to move, so one would hope they had plans in place to make the transition easier. Jill also went through some hard times in the last couple of years. But... to me, the Dillards' lives resemble that of the majority of folks I know - a mixed bag of good and bad. Most know they're loved and supported without gift giving gatherings.

I agree with you - the party is no big deal, but like I said, the big picture just gives me a different feeling about it.

The influencer tendency to ask for "donations" and gifts is a different kettle of fish than some close friends and family throwing a baby shower. Amy is family, and if she wants to have a small party for Jill, who is being harmed?

Also, just because a baby is planned doesn't mean the mom has to forego a baby shower. That's like saying "they planned to get married, so why are they having a wedding shower?"

I also think harping on Jill about a baby shower goes along with society's love of mommy shaming. It's really sick how judgmental people are about mothers. 

Edited by Lady Whistleup
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lookeyloo

lookeyloo

1 minute ago, Lady Whistleup said:

The influencer tendency to ask for "donations" and gifts is a different kettle of fish than some close friends and family throwing a baby shower. Amy is family, and if she wants to have a small party for Jill, who is being harmed?

I also think harping on Jill about a baby shower goes along with society's love of mommy shaming. It's really sick how judgmental people are about mothers. 

Agree. And as I have told my children over the years, there are a lot of "right" ways to do things.  For her group, this is right.  Maybe others would frown, and they wouldn't throw one or be the pregnant mommy at a shower, but, no one is forced to be there or to buy a gift.  Social media is a thing, and even regular people that we don't know about post things like this.  Maybe not for everybody but those folks aren't doing or posting.  Or doing and not posting.   I don't care about her hair.  She likes it.  It didn't cost me anything.  PS, still think their beliefs are odious.

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GeeGolly

GeeGolly

4 minutes ago, Lady Whistleup said:

The influencer tendency to ask for "donations" and gifts is a different kettle of fish than some close friends and family throwing a baby shower. Amy is family, and if she wants to have a small party for Jill, who is being harmed?

Also, just because a baby is planned doesn't mean the mom has to forego a baby shower. That's like saying "they planned to get married, so why are they having a wedding shower?"

I also think harping on Jill about a baby shower goes along with society's love of mommy shaming. It's really sick how judgmental people are about mothers. 

I guess my posts haven't been clear because I don't recall implying anyone being harmed by a party and I'm certainly not into mommy shaming.

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lookeyloo

lookeyloo

Just now, GeeGolly said:

I guess my posts haven't been clear because I don't recall implying anyone being harmed by a party and I'm certainly not into mommy shaming.

My comments weren't directed at anybody in particular.  I'm not even caught up on the thread, so just the world in general.  Sweet son and I used to talk all the time about how people do things, not "differently" as in a Duggar, but, what works for some doesn't always work for others.  And, as one of the on line quilter teachers says "And that's A-O-K"

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Suzn

Suzn

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

I guess my posts haven't been clear because I don't recall implying anyone being harmed by a party and I'm certainly not into mommy shaming.

I don't think you have said anything of the kind.  I tend to agree with your position on the shower, in that Jill and company always seem to be on the receiving end of gifts.  There is always a whiff of entitlement.

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SnapHappy

SnapHappy

(edited)

Every single married woman in this family that has given birth is a target for "Mommy Shaming".  Every day and for every reason.  

And being judgmental is the primary reason to post here.  Otherwise it would be a fan board. 

And most of it comes from other "Mommies".  

Jill, Amy and their sisters in Duggarhood have all made their beds.  When they bother to do any housework. 

Edited by SnapHappy
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Notabug

Notabug

Just now, SMama said:

Amy posted pictures from the shower. The only people in the photos are Jill, Amy, Deanna, and Cathy. It seems those attending did not want to be photographed. That is huge for the fame whore Duggars. 

It kind of makes sense though since Deanna, Amy and Cathy were hosting the shower for Jill.  No other guests were seen in photos, either/

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Gemma Violet

Gemma Violet

(edited)
2 hours ago, Salacious Kitty said:

Jessa replied in the comments. She attended the shower. 

I also saw that she then posted a long explanation that there's nothing bad going on and that other family members were out of town for a wedding, beach trip, or family reunion and couldn't make the shower.  She also said that Jill has family support.

eta:  I saw the long comment in a Youtube video.  I don't see it in the Instagram comments.  Maybe it was removed.

Edited by Gemma Violet
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Lady Whistleup

Lady Whistleup

I feel like Jessa and Jill have a strong bond. It might not be a particularly warm and fuzzy bond -- I don't think they sip kombucha and do each others' nails. But I think only they know what it was really like to wake up to FF molesting them, and the fortitude it took to be a "buddy" when they were just children themselves. So I do think Jessa will always be there for Jill, and vice versa. 

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farmgal4

farmgal4

On 7/1/2022 at 1:03 AM, lovesnark said:

I went to one similar to the one you went to. Except, it wasn't a 'College Fund Piggy Bank, it was a 'Help Her Pay the 10% Her Insurance Doesn't Cover' piggy bank. They also played a 'game' where you had a choice to sing a song on the playlist of music of the day or put $20 in a jar. I shouldn't have been surprised because this is the same woman who had a Honeymoon Fund jar at her wedding along with a tacky money dance. She also asked me to do all the flowers for the wedding for free. I said no.

I don't have a problem with Jill's friends and family having a shower for her and it looks like they all had fun. She's had a lot going on this year and with just moving into a new house while trying to get ready to have another kid, she probably really appreciated it.

Regarding your first sentence… That’s some Jill Rod-level grifting!

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SnapHappy

SnapHappy

19 hours ago, Gemma Violet said:

I also saw that she then posted a long explanation that there's nothing bad going on and that other family members were out of town for a wedding, beach trip, or family reunion and couldn't make the shower.  She also said that Jill has family support.

eta:  I saw the long comment in a Youtube video.  I don't see it in the Instagram comments.  Maybe it was removed.

I think Amy scheduling the very late-in-pregnancy baby shower for the exact week most family members are travelling and attending those spur-of-the-moment weddings, trips and family reunions makes perfect sense.   

Right.  The convenience of it is just astounding

And somebody else obviously wrote Jessa's "script".  The day she uses the word "narrative", much less in a well constructed, punctuated and cohesive sentence, is the day Jeremy gives up his sneakers. 

Good try Jessa & Amy, but your girl has an obnoxious husband that's made her an outcast.  You can't pretend the lack of guests was due to scheduling. 

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Tikichick

Tikichick

14 hours ago, Lady Whistleup said:

I feel like Jessa and Jill have a strong bond. It might not be a particularly warm and fuzzy bond -- I don't think they sip kombucha and do each others' nails. But I think only they know what it was really like to wake up to FF molesting them, and the fortitude it took to be a "buddy" when they were just children themselves. So I do think Jessa will always be there for Jill, and vice versa. 

Interesting thought.

It would be nice if the Duggar sibs could manage to truly be healthy support for one another, despite the minefields that were installed during their upbringing to prevent that.   It really made me sad to read this week that the pattern may be being repeated among the grandchildren.   How heartbreaking if all of these children are simply being raised as numbers in families of eleventy billion kids and one of the potentially biggest positives of the situation is deliberately being cut off at the knees.   

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lascuba

lascuba

16 hours ago, Lady Whistleup said:

I feel like Jessa and Jill have a strong bond. It might not be a particularly warm and fuzzy bond -- I don't think they sip kombucha and do each others' nails. But I think only they know what it was really like to wake up to FF molesting them, and the fortitude it took to be a "buddy" when they were just children themselves. So I do think Jessa will always be there for Jill, and vice versa. 

I agree they have a bond, but I think it formed later, starting when they were courting at the same time and then were the only 2 married daughters. Then they were the two that had to out themselves as victims to save Josh and keep the show going. Based on the show, it always seemed to me that Jill had a great relationship with her buddies because that was a maternal/authoritative bond, whereas the siblings closer to her own age might have loved her as their sister, but they didn't like her much, as she was the perky golden child who liked to make sure they said and did and thought the right thing at all times.

It's funny, because Jessa is one of the last people I'd describe as "laid back," but I think she kind of is when it comes to personal relationships and conflicts. As rigid as she is in her thinking, she doesn't seem to care what people around her are doing anywhere near as much as she cares about what the general public of heathens get up to. So whatever might be going on between Jill and her parents and other siblings and who Jessa might think is at fault, she's not going to hold it against any of them and will still socialize with them.  Or it could simply be that Jessa is so averse to meeting new people that she refuses to cut any of her siblings off no matter how much they piss her off. 😂

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Lady Whistleup

Lady Whistleup

8 minutes ago, lascuba said:

It's funny, because Jessa is one of the last people I'd describe as "laid back," but I think she kind of is when it comes to personal relationships and conflicts. As rigid as she is in her thinking, she doesn't seem to care what people around her are doing anywhere near as much as she cares about what the general public of heathens get up to. So whatever might be going on between Jill and her parents and other siblings and who Jessa might think is at fault, she's not going to hold it against any of them and will still socialize with them.  Or it could simply be that Jessa is so averse to meeting new people that she refuses to cut any of her siblings off no matter how much they piss her off. 😂

I also think Jessa doesn't have very high expectations for people. Ben is kind of a loser, but I have a feeling Jessa doesn't spend all day being like "Why can't Ben be more like ___?" Her response is just "eh."

Same thing goes for her sisters. Jessa doesn't expect anything more of Jill, or Derick for that matter. 

While high expectations are good to have in general, I feel like it can become toxic when applied to family. I know a woman who actually is not in touch with a single member of her family because none of them met her lofty expectations. So while Jessa isn't particularly warm or nice, I feel like Jill might find her "eh, whatever" attitude soothing.

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coconspirator

coconspirator

3 hours ago, SnapHappy said:

I think Amy scheduling the very late-in-pregnancy baby shower for the exact week most family members are travelling and attending those spur-of-the-moment weddings, trips and family reunions makes perfect sense.   

Right.  The convenience of it is just astounding

And somebody else obviously wrote Jessa's "script".  The day she uses the word "narrative", much less in a well constructed, punctuated and cohesive sentence, is the day Jeremy gives up his sneakers. 

Good try Jessa & Amy, but your girl has an obnoxious husband that's made her an outcast.  You can't pretend the lack of guests was due to scheduling. 

I think it may have been less about Jill and more about the person who was hosting. Fortunately Jill seems to have friends from her neighborhood and church, as well as her SIL and MIL. It’s not the number of people who show up, especially at a 3rd shower; it’s the level of caring and closeness those who were there felt for Jill.

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GeeGolly

GeeGolly

I don't think Jessa and Jill are close. Jessa showed up for one thing specifically for Jill. And they shopped together about a year ago. I do think they're friendly with each other, but not close, even by Duggar standards. I'm guessing Jessa was motivated just as much by scoping out Amy's or Deanna's house, as she was attending the shower.

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