Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House

[graefin]

28 minutes ago, Barb23 said:

......and no Yay like Jill.

And no stupid airplane song. 

[Lunera]

Jessa got a little defensive about Bin and her marriage when a fan asked about him. I'm pretty sure the fan just wanted to know what Ben was up to since he finished school and has abandoned social media. 

[BitterApple]

5 minutes ago, Lunera said:

Jessa got a little defensive about Bin and her marriage when a fan asked about him. I'm pretty sure the fan just wanted to know what Ben was up to since he finished school and has abandoned social media. 

Interesting that her first instinct was to get huffy and defensive. I wonder if Bin would agree that they're thriving and wonderful?

[DangerousMinds]

wow. I knew she was a bitch, but it’s not all about you Jessa. The poster asked about Bin.

[Temperance]

34 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

wow. I knew she was a bitch, but it’s not all about you Jessa. The poster asked about Bin.

I didn't see her answer as all about her. 

[DangerousMinds]

4 minutes ago, Temperance said:

I didn't see her answer as all about her. 

She didn’t answer the poster’s questions about Bin, at all.

[Temperance]

9 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

She didn’t answer the poster’s questions about Bin, at all.

That still doesn't mean that she made it about her.  Her non-answer about Ben probably means she doesn't want to tell us where he is or what he's been up to, which may be something both she and Ben are trying to hide.  She also is saying that what she likes to share with people are homemovies featuring her kids and not her or Ben and it doesn't mean anything. She does answer that she and Ben are fine. 

I would agree that she was evasive and didn't directly answer either  question. She did somewhat answer why he is not on her social media videos a lot of the time.  I also think the person asking the question was being a little nosy and that there may have been subtext that Jessa did answer. 

Edited October 26, 2018 by Temperance

[MargeGunderson]

1 hour ago, Lunera said:

Jessa got a little defensive about Bin and her marriage when a fan asked about him. I'm pretty sure the fan just wanted to know what Ben was up to since he finished school and has abandoned social media. 

Hey Jessa, that wasn’t the question. Might want to brush up on your reading comprehension. 

[GeeGolly]

3 minutes ago, MargeGunderson said:

Hey Jessa, that wasn’t the question. Might want to brush up on your reading comprehension. 

And stop hanging with your BIL.

[JoanArc]

"Madly in love and our marriage is thriving and wonderful" is what i see on every couple's facebook who is IRL miserable.

[BitterApple]

3 minutes ago, JoanArc said:

"Madly in love and our marriage is thriving and wonderful" is what i see on every couple's facebook who is IRL miserable.

That's my experience as well. I had one former co-worker who constantly did the "Best Husband Evah!!!" humblebrag on social media. Meanwhile the guy in question was a sleaze who'd hit on half the women in the office at every Christmas party. 

I can see Jessa being happy, because it's her way or the highway all the time. Bin is the type to give in yet stew in silence, and that relationship dynamic is a powder keg ready to blow. 

[Lunera]

36 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

Bin is the type to give in yet stew in silence, and that relationship dynamic is a powder keg ready to blow. 

That's exactly what he did. Ben admitted to giving Jessa the silent treatment when he became angry with her. He said he would never do it again but who knows how many times he has held back to avoid a bigger conflict.

[cmr2014]

3 hours ago, Lunera said:

Jessa got a little defensive about Bin and her marriage when a fan asked about him. I'm pretty sure the fan just wanted to know what Ben was up to since he finished school and has abandoned social media. 

I've wondered that, too. Jessa is also lying. We've seen plenty of her out at Tacos4Life and at the TTH, but Ben has been glaringly absent. I don't necessarily think that she and Ben are on the road to divorce, but whatever is going on isn't "nothing."

[lascuba]

3 hours ago, BitterApple said:

Interesting that her first instinct was to get huffy and defensive. I wonder if Bin would agree that they're thriving and wonderful?

Honestly, I'v been assuming Jessa and Ben's marriage is as stable and happy as a fundie marriage can be, but that response? Those two are in trouble. 

[Scarlett45]

Just now, lascuba said:

Honestly, I'v been assuming Jessa and Ben's marriage is as stable and happy as a fundie marriage can be, but that response? Those two are in trouble. 

I agree. She was super defensive to an innocent question. Reading the question I didn’t assume there was “trouble” between them, I thought the writer wondered “where’s Ben on social media?” NOT “where is he in the marriage?”; a normal response would’ve been a picture of them and “he’s usually taking the photos” or “he’s studying” blah blah blah. 

[lascuba]

2 hours ago, Temperance said:

That still doesn't mean that she made it about her.  Her non-answer about Ben probably means she doesn't want to tell us where he is or what he's been up to, which may be something both she and Ben are trying to hide.  She also is saying that what she likes to share with people are homemovies featuring her kids and not her or Ben and it doesn't mean anything. She does answer that she and Ben are fine. 

I would agree that she was evasive and didn't directly answer either  question. She did somewhat answer why he is not on her social media videos a lot of the time.  I also think the person asking the question was being a little nosy and that there may have been subtext that Jessa did answer. 

Jessa's response was so over the top that I'd wonder if that person has a history of being nasty, but Jessa blocks everyone she perceives as rude. 

[McManda]

1 hour ago, JoanArc said:

"Madly in love and our marriage is thriving and wonderful" is what i see on every couple's facebook who is IRL miserable.

This is also the classic response celebrity couples release via their rep after an article about them being in the verge of a divorce comes out in one of the supermarket tabloids.

... and then four to six months later they also release a statement about how they're staying friends as they get divorced.

[Albanyguy]

1 minute ago, McManda said:

... and then four to six months later they also release a statement about how they're staying friends as they get divorced.

Along with a plea for "privacy" as they navigate this difficult time.

[SMama]

Bin finished school?

[Nysha]

I think Jessa's non-answer and affirmation that her marriage was fine was an indirect way of saying it's none of your business. I don't think there are any more issues in her marriage than in any marriage under the same circumstances. And I don't think she lied, the majority of her posts are about her boys. There have been occasional glimpses of Ben and more frequent sightings of Jessa, but they mainly show the boys being cute. 

 

Whether they're on TV, social media, or whatever, Jessa and Ben have no obligation to share any more of their personal life than they want to share. 

[ChiCricket]

1 hour ago, Nysha said:

Whether they're on TV, social media, or whatever, Jessa and Ben have no obligation to share any more of their personal life than they want to share. 

But it's much more fun to imagine Jessa the dominatrix not allowing Ben to get online.?

Edited October 27, 2018 by ChiCricket
Needed an emoji :-D

[BitterApple]

I think the question definitely struck a nerve. Otherwise, why get so snippy? And why bother answering when it's none of that poster's business? Just ignore it or block the person like she does with everyone else.

[mynextmistake]

So why isn’t Jessa wearing pants yet? Joy’s stuck in skirts for life because her headship thinks it’s ungodly for wimmenfolk to wear trousers, but both Jill and Jinger have been rocking pants for a while now and the earth hasn’t swallowed them whole. Many of the Bates girls wear pants, and we’ve seen Jessa’s friends do the same. I have a very hard time believing that Ben cares enough to forbid Jessa from wearing pants. Is she truly “devout” enough to think it’s not okay to wear pants? 

[Spencer Hastings]

Maybe she truly likes skirts and dresses more.

Or she’s too stubborn to admit that their modesty standards are crap and refuses to give in. 

[DangerousMinds]

Maybe she has ugly bulky legs.

[GeeGolly]

How many followers does Jessa have? How many make comments? She chose to answer that one?

Even if the question didn't hit a relationship nerve, Jessa's over-the-top, read-between-the-lines, snippy response still feels 'mean girl'.

These celebrity Fundy girls need to grow some thick skin or walk away. Alyssa Bates shut down her Instagram for a while because followers were questioning her first daughter's development. Now she's shilling for hits.

[Churchhoney]

On 10/23/2018 at 5:02 PM, xwordfanatik said:

Ha!  If you have ever seen Animal House, then you know about the devil/angel thing.  And the angel won, despite the heathen frat boy's urge to get down & dirty!  Damn, these fundies don't trust any man to contain his apparent constant state of horniness, do they?  Nuts.

As I understand it, to trust that anything like parenting can head people away from wrongdoing would violate their brand of faith completely, really.

The whole point of their theology is that no human thing is of any use in stopping any human from following sin (ever since that thing that Eve did. lol)..... In fact, even the one thing you CAN do -- accept Jesus as your personal savior from the hellfire and damnation and so on that you completely deserve simply by virtue of being one of the fallen (i.e., human)  -- doesn't even have the power to stop you from SINNING. Instead, it ultimately saves you from the consequences of your sin. 

Basically, they reject the idea that any human action at all has any positive efficacy in the great scheme of things. That's what the rejection of the Catholic theology regarding "works" is about, really. And it's why they bitterly hate and condemn anything that smacks of "humanism." In their theology, humans are all pure damnable shit every day and in every way, so humans in and of themselves can never ever be the source of any positive values, in their view. The only good in the world is your statement/mindset of total faith in Jesus-as-your-personal savior. Jesus is the exclusive route to ANYTHING good.

Jesus is s VERY jealous god, in their theology. He requires rejecting the idea that any other paths to anything good can exist alongside him. And that totally includes stuff like good parenting. Because no matter HOW "good" a parent you are, your kids are still gonna be totally completely absolutely and eternally sin-driven and hellbound. And their only way out of being in this state for eternity, instead of just for the duration of their current mortal lives, is if they themselves adopt the proper faith in Jesus. I've always thought it's a very weird theology, and I still do. 

Especially because it's based on the idea that humans are utterly corrupt. But then those who accept and embrace that idea tend to end up using their embrace of it to imply that they, themselves, are actually pretty A-1 terrific. ... Hence, the Duggars. 

All I can figure is that people who really really really are insecure and don't trust themselves or their own motives at all may gravitate to this because it says they're right not to trust themselves at all and then offers them a way out. .... And then they pass this idea on to their kids, many of whom parrot it because they've been fed on the parents' fear of their own natures AND they've been actively discouraged from doing anything humanistic like thinking, learning or exercising logic. ....Hence, the Duggars.

[lascuba]

11 hours ago, Nysha said:

I think Jessa's non-answer and affirmation that her marriage was fine was an indirect way of saying it's none of your business. I don't think there are any more issues in her marriage than in any marriage under the same circumstances. And I don't think she lied, the majority of her posts are about her boys. There have been occasional glimpses of Ben and more frequent sightings of Jessa, but they mainly show the boys being cute. 

 

Whether they're on TV, social media, or whatever, Jessa and Ben have no obligation to share any more of their personal life than they want to share. 

No, they're not at all obligated. I take no issue with what these people choose to share. But damn, if you're making your living off of social media/"reality" tv, you need to be smarter about the shit you say and how you respond to people. I think a lot of comments people post are obnoxious as hell, but that one about Ben was completely innocuous and Jessa absolutely told on herself with that response. 

7 hours ago, Spencer Hastings said:

Maybe she truly likes skirts and dresses more.

Or she’s too stubborn to admit that their modesty standards are crap and refuses to give in. 

DING DING DING! Jessa's entire motivation for existing is not proving haters right, a quality I respect in the abstract but makes me face palm in reality. 

[EAG46]

Wow, Churchhoney, that is a scary world view.  

[Nysha]

1 hour ago, Churchhoney said:

All I can figure is that people who really really really are insecure and don't trust themselves or their own motives at all may gravitate to this because it says they're right not to trust themselves at all and then offers them a way out.

This was my late husband's view about going to church in general. He believed most people were good, which he was, but that the ones who went to church did so because they were too weak to be good on their own. What the Duggar's would call an accountability partner, he would call a crutch.

[Jynnan tonnix]

3 hours ago, Churchhoney said:

As I understand it, to trust that anything like parenting can head people away from wrongdoing would violate their brand of faith completely, really.

The whole point of their theology is that no human thing is of any use in stopping any human from following sin (ever since that thing that Eve did. lol)..... In fact, even the one thing you CAN do -- accept Jesus as your personal savior from the hellfire and damnation and so on that you completely deserve simply by virtue of being one of the fallen (i.e., human)  -- doesn't even have the power to stop you from SINNING. Instead, it ultimately saves you from the consequences of your sin. 

Basically, they reject the idea that any human action at all has any positive efficacy in the great scheme of things. That's what the rejection of the Catholic theology regarding "works" is about, really. And it's why they bitterly hate and condemn anything that smacks of "humanism." In their theology, humans are all pure damnable shit every day and in every way, so humans in and of themselves can never ever be the source of any positive values, in their view. The only good in the world is your statement/mindset of total faith in Jesus-as-your-personal savior. Jesus is the exclusive route to ANYTHING good.

Jesus is s VERY jealous god, in their theology. He requires rejecting the idea that any other paths to anything good can exist alongside him. And that totally includes stuff like good parenting. Because no matter HOW "good" a parent you are, your kids are still gonna be totally completely absolutely and eternally sin-driven and hellbound. And their only way out of being in this state for eternity, instead of just for the duration of their current mortal lives, is if they themselves adopt the proper faith in Jesus. I've always thought it's a very weird theology, and I still do. 

Especially because it's based on the idea that humans are utterly corrupt. But then those who accept and embrace that idea tend to end up using their embrace of it to imply that they, themselves, are actually pretty A-1 terrific. ... Hence, the Duggars. 

All I can figure is that people who really really really are insecure and don't trust themselves or their own motives at all may gravitate to this because it says they're right not to trust themselves at all and then offers them a way out. .... And then they pass this idea on to their kids, many of whom parrot it because they've been fed on the parents' fear of their own natures AND they've been actively discouraged from doing anything humanistic like thinking, learning or exercising logic. ....Hence, the Duggars.

Beautifully summed up. I've known my share of this type, and it's really hard to describe just how vile they consider human nature while still believing that their perfect God could do no better as far as creating beings with free will who would not immediately fall from grace.

It's funny how they seem to still believe that those who manage to get into heaven, while presumably still having free will, will never sin  again, despite having all of eternity to think about it. Why didn't he create an Earth like that while he had the chance?

[MunichNark]

She is such an ill-mannered, rude, snappy entitled little bitch, isn't she? Offering far too much information when it wasn't called for is rather tellng

[floridamom]

IMO, I agree that Jessa didn't answer the question. The post didn't ask if everything was 'ok' in the Seewald Jr. household, it asked what has Ben been up to lately, (work, school, hobbies) as he hasn't been seen or posted about in a little while. I think this was a perfectly legitimate question. Instead, Jessa answered that they are 'more in love than ever'? Who the hell says that? I think the shine has worn off a bit with those two. I really think that Ben has a bit of 'buyers remorse' with Jessa. She's not the young woman and wife he expected on a day to day basis. It's her way or the highway, she insults him on national TV, says he needs to grow up because he enjoys playing his video games, etc. What the heck does Jessa even know about video games as those things, as were MOST THINGS were banned from her parents' house when she was growing up?

Ben's father really screwed up things for his young, impressionable and HORNY son.

[Christina87]

I feel like they owe us nothing, buuuut if you are a star and frequently post to Instagram, you need to realize that you will get some crazy comments! I don't even consider this one bad, though. You can always take the high road and not read the comments, or you can turn them off. Jessa's snippy response really spoke volumes, when she could have just ignored the post!

i just really roll my eyes when celebrities expect all nice comments online, especially when they get snippy or try to give their fan a morality lesson, like telling them it's rude to speculate about a baby bump. They clearly are not taking the high road, and they don't have to work real jobs like the rest of us because they post things online, just like everyone else does. If you told me I could live on easy street but may get some negative Instagram comments, I would be like, "sign. Me. Up!" Then I'd either turn off the comments or have someone read them for me to tell me major trends. These stars have to do so little for all they receive, and they chose this business, so they need thicker skin. The rest of us have performance reviews at our jobs that can be totally unfair and brutal! It's the same way I feel about actors who whine about missing their childhood to be rich and famous, and still benefit from it today. I'm not talking about people like Judy Garland, who was forced to start drugs at ten, or Michael Jackson, who truly were forced to perform and never lived a normal existence. I'm talking about people who began starring on a Disney channel show or became a musician at 15, and now resent that their character they're known for is too "wholesome" or whatever. It's like...people miss their childhood / teenage years all the time due to lying in a hospital bed with cancer or taking care of an alcoholic parent. Stars who spent their teenage years doing what they loved while being adored and making millions and then complain don't realize how out of touch with the average person they are! They need to look at the bright side and realize they can have an atypical ADULTHOOD of luxury and no job now, which most people can't! Again, there are broke teen celebrities, but someone who chose to do something they loved and maybe missed prom don't exactly evoke tears from me when other teens were dying of cancer.

Most of us would happily take a few cranky people on Instagram over a nasty boss, or millions of dollars over typical ninth grade algebra. It just bugs me so much when stars whine! They are soooo out of touch. 

Edited October 27, 2018 by Christina87

[yogi2014L]

I agree, if you put yourself on SM for the world to see you need to be prepared for the backlash.

However, While I do think Jessa called attention to an issue that really wasn't being addressed ( Doth protest too much!) I don't think her response was that bitchy??

Then again, I follow the teen moms so my bar is probably very very low on what will register for bitchy. 

[Jynnan tonnix]

13 minutes ago, yogi2014L said:

I agree, if you put yourself on SM for the world to see you need to be prepared for the backlash.

However, While I do think Jessa called attention to an issue that really wasn't being addressed ( Doth protest too much!) I don't think her response was that bitchy??

Then again, I follow the teen moms so my bar is probably very very low on what will register for bitchy. 

Yeah, I think I have a pretty high bar for bitchiness because while I don't think I'm much prone to exhibiting it, I also know that when something either strikes me as unfair or brings out my defensive side because a sensitive nerve HAS been touched, I'm as capable of it as anyone else. Mostly I just look at it and either figure that someone's kind of entitled to a reaction, or understand how easy it is to overreact when a nerve has been struck. It's not generally that big a deal, and most of us will do it here and there.

[mynextmistake]

11 hours ago, MunichNark said:

She is such an ill-mannered, rude, snappy entitled little bitch, isn't she? Offering far too much information when it wasn't called for is rather tellng

She’s clearly attempting to obscure the truth, which is that she finally snapped, unhinged her jaw, and ate him. 

Edited October 28, 2018 by mynextmistake

[ginger90]

Considering some of the comments that are made on Twitter and Instagram, who knows what Jessa had read before deciding to respond. Some are really awful, at times.

[lascuba]

11 hours ago, yogi2014L said:

I agree, if you put yourself on SM for the world to see you need to be prepared for the backlash.

However, While I do think Jessa called attention to an issue that really wasn't being addressed ( Doth protest too much!) I don't think her response was that bitchy??

Then again, I follow the teen moms so my bar is probably very very low on what will register for bitchy. 

Yeah, I didn't find her response particularly bitchy, just way too defensive considering how mild the comment was. Which is why, if Jessa weren't so quick with the block button, I'd assume the person making the comment has a history of probing questions and implications. 

I actually don't care about celebrities being bitchy on social media. Because while, yes, it's absolutely true that if you put your life out there, you're going to have to accept that a lot of people are going to be rude and nasty, that doesn't mean that those people are right in being nasty. And if one is going to be rude to a celebrity online, I wish it were over something worthwhile.  I cringe at the stupidity of some of the comments that the Duggars get, and not because I care about their feelings. They are horrible people with evil beliefs, but the asinine stupidity of some of the criticisms they get just makes them look like the reasonable ones. Celebrities should be smart about choosing their battles, of course, but I'm all for a well-deserved clapback. That's what makes Chrissy Teigen such a joy to follow. 

[Fostersmom]

I don't find Jessa's response overly bitchy at all. If Abbie had the same conversation with a poster about John, would she be deemed a bitch? Probably not. But because it's Jessa, it seems the automatic assumption is she's an ungrateful bitch who wants her cake and to eat it too. On the flip side, Jessa is well aware that 95% of such questions or comments like the one about Ben have an ulterior motive, so it's natural if she's on the defensive. Imagine the responses if she had said he's been studying (Shouldn't he have graduated by now? What's he going to do with his degree, preach at a woman hating church?) or said he's been working (Doing, what? Still cleaning toilets for your father?). And since so many assume that Ben has to be regretting marrying a woman with strong opinions and has to be wishing he never married her at all, she didn't win there either. If she hadn't answered at all, well she's rude for not replying to questions or only replying to "leg humpers". Given that no matter what she said, or didn't say, she really couldn't win, I think her response is fine. 

[Nysha]

I wonder if the poster had straight out asked how Ben's schooling was going, did he enjoy his lessons, was he interning at their church, or something specific if Jessa would have given a straight answer. While I personally didn't think her answer was bitchy or defensive, it also didn't answer the underlying question, which was what is Ben up to these days.  Jessa may have interpreted the comment that the poster doesn't see much of Ben on her social media to mean the poster thinks there is trouble in the marriage because she and Ben aren't joined at the hip like Jill & Derick or Jinger & Jeremy, and she replied accordingly. 
Everything is open to interpretation. I post what I mean, so I tend to take things at face value unless/until it's proven the poster is a massive liar and complete jerk, like Derick. 

Edited October 28, 2018 by Nysha

[madpsych78]

20 hours ago, floridamom said:

IMO, I agree that Jessa didn't answer the question. The post didn't ask if everything was 'ok' in the Seewald Jr. household, it asked what has Ben been up to lately, (work, school, hobbies) as he hasn't been seen or posted about in a little while. I think this was a perfectly legitimate question. Instead, Jessa answered that they are 'more in love than ever'? Who the hell says that? I think the shine has worn off a bit with those two. I really think that Ben has a bit of 'buyers remorse' with Jessa. She's not the young woman and wife he expected on a day to day basis. It's her way or the highway, she insults him on national TV, says he needs to grow up because he enjoys playing his video games, etc. What the heck does Jessa even know about video games as those things, as were MOST THINGS were banned from her parents' house when she was growing up?

Ben's father really screwed up things for his young, impressionable and HORNY son.

This reminded me of Jon and Kate.

[Oldernowiser]

On 10/26/2018 at 5:47 PM, McManda said:

Madly in love and our marriage is thriving and wonderful"

The “so kindly go fuck yourself” is implied.

Loudly.

[ginger90]

[Churchhoney]

24 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

I always love the "we can't wait to see what's in store for you in the future" part of these .... Because as far as I can tell, not much good of note has been in store for any of the Duggarlings yet..... I'm beginning to conclude that they're the biggest cockeyed optimists ever. Or they just mean "in the afterlife."  

Edited November 1, 2018 by Churchhoney

[Oldernowiser]

Anyone else read that as “ffs you’ve been married four years and only have two kids...get pregnant ASAP. TLC needs fodder, people.”

[latetotheparty]

1 hour ago, Oldernowiser said:

Anyone else read that as “ffs you’ve been married four years and only have two kids...get pregnant ASAP. TLC needs fodder, people.”

Yep. 

[GeeGolly]

1 hour ago, Churchhoney said:

I always love the "we can't wait to see what's in store for you in the future" part of these .... Because as far as I can tell, not much good of note has been in store for any of the Duggarlings yet..... I'm beginning to conclude that they're the biggest cockeyed optimists ever. Or they just mean "in the afterlife."  

Babies Churchie. How many babies are in their future.

[BetyBee]

"the servants heart you both have"  blah blah blah!

[Sew Sumi]

Shouldn't "servants" be a possessive in this case? SOTDRT fail to whomever crafted that cut and paste anniversary message.