Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House

[Zella]

I think my favorite part of all this is apparently Ben, with all the infinite wisdom of a goose, thought what he posted in the context of the news that this family has been embroiled in lately was somehow subtle enough that he wouldn't get torn to shreds over it. I think he was genuinely shocked by the response, hence the dirty deletes, but he's been a public figure associated with the Duggars for several years and has had a history of this happening when he opens his yap on social media and he still thought that was a good idea that he could get away with. I'd tell him not to quit his day job, but I don't think he actually has one. 

Edited December 16, 2021 by Zella

[Tuxcat]

I honestly don't understand Ben. I agree that he and Jessa are defensive about Ben's employment status and I don't understand why. If you are working in some capacity for Jim Bob, that isn't necessarily a bad thing - if its actually an official job. He could dress it up to sound important. By not answering, it makes it seem like he is just some odd jobs guy - kept around to produce Duggerlings.  Which might be true. Refresh my memory, did he finish his degree?

[Cinnabon]

Just now, Tuxcat said:

I honestly don't understand Ben. I agree that he and Jessa are defensive about Ben's employment status and I don't understand why. If you are working in some capacity for Jim Bob, that isn't necessarily a bad thing - if its actually an official job. He could dress it up to sound important. By not answering, it makes it seem like he is just some odd jobs guy - kept around to produce Duggerlings.  Which might be true. Refresh my memory, did he finish his degree?

I think he may have, but his loving wife couldn’t even post a congratulations message. I think his  mom did?

[emmawoodhouse]

10 minutes ago, Tuxcat said:

I honestly don't understand Ben. I agree that he and Jessa are defensive about Ben's employment status and I don't understand why. If you are working in some capacity for Jim Bob, that isn't necessarily a bad thing - if its actually an official job. He could dress it up to sound important. By not answering, it makes it seem like he is just some odd jobs guy - kept around to produce Duggerlings.  Which might be true. Refresh my memory, did he finish his degree?

It took 6 years, but yes, he finally finished his degree last spring.

[Cinnabon]

Just now, emmawoodhouse said:

It took 6 years, but yes, he finally finished his degree last spring.

What was the degree?

[MsJamieDornan]

4 minutes ago, Cinnabon said:

What was the degree?

Toilets ?

[Cinnabon]

7 minutes ago, MsJamieDornan said:

Toilets ?

I found some job openings for Bin. But does he qualify? Seriously, these are actual paying jobs with benefits (in some cases). What kind of health insurance do you think Bin and Jessa have now?

What Degree Should I Get to Become a Washroom Attendant ?

The most common degree for Washroom Attendants is High School Diploma 33% of Washroom Attendants earn that degree. A close second is Bachelor's Degree with 25% and rounding it off is Diploma with 21%.

 

https://www.zippia.com/washroom-attendant-jobs/education/

[emmawoodhouse]

13 minutes ago, Cinnabon said:

What was the degree?

Something to do with ministry and preaching. 

[Cinnabon]

Just now, emmawoodhouse said:

Something to do with ministry and preaching. 

A BA degree?

[emmawoodhouse]

24 minutes ago, Cinnabon said:

A BA degree?

Yes, AFAIK. 

[Churchhoney]

2 hours ago, Cinnabon said:

What was the degree?

Moody Bible Institute, Bachelor's Degree in Ministry Leadership, with a concentration in Preaching, 2020 

And he did study at least some of what they taught him. Because as far as I've heard, on the whole he's a much better preacher than Jeremy, at this point. 

Edited December 16, 2021 by Churchhoney

[emmawoodhouse]

Just now, Churchhoney said:

Moody Bible Institute, Bachelor's Degree in Ministry Leadership, with a concentration in Preaching, 2020 

I knew it had ministry and preaching in there somewhere! 😂

[Zella]

6 hours ago, BitterApple said:

I imagine they're in separate corners right now, licking their wounds and regretting their life choices.

I always imagine their daily dynamic as something along the lines of this, and they take turns being the cat:

Edited December 17, 2021 by Zella

[starfire]

Is Ben really a pastor of a real church, or just a pastor of his household?

[Rootbeer]

1 minute ago, starfire said:

Is Ben really a pastor of a real church, or just a pastor of his household?

He preaches at a tiny local church and is listed as on staff there.  It probably pays next to nothing and it appears the congregation is very small, maybe 30 families.

[starfire]

2 minutes ago, Rootbeer said:

He preaches at a tiny local church and is listed as on staff there.  It probably pays next to nothing and it appears the congregation is very small, maybe 30 families.

Thanks for the info. I can't imagine looking to Ben as a spiritual leader. 😀

[emmawoodhouse]

2 minutes ago, starfire said:

Thanks for the info. I can't imagine looking to Ben as a spiritual leader. 😀

Ben's such a beta I don't see him as ANY kind of leader. We know that Jessa rules that marriage and the household.

[Kiss my mutt]

I didn’t know the Moody Blues even had a Bible college. 

[graefin]

So Bowman Fedosky, the son of Teresa (the "midwife" who kills newborns via negligence) and Scott (the narc addict "doc"), did a Reddit AMA, and from what I've read, I'm impressed by his articulateness and humor. This particular piece of gold stood out:

 

Edited December 18, 2021 by graefin

[madpsych78]

28 minutes ago, graefin said:

So Bowman Fedosky, the son of Teresa (the "midwife" who kills newborns via negligence) and Scott (the narc addict "doc"), did a Reddit AMA, and from what I've read, I'm impressed by his articulateness and humor. This particular piece of gold stood out:

 

That sounds like Jessa! Probably little to no idea how her actions are perceived by others. Jessa also manipulates the rules to benefit her, as stupid as said rule is. 

[GeeGolly]

23 minutes ago, madpsych78 said:

That sounds like Jessa! Probably little to no idea how her actions are perceived by others. Jessa also manipulates the rules to benefit her, as stupid as said rule is. 

It does sound like something Jessa would do. The puddle of urine on the couch makes me want to vomit.

I would think though, in a house of a dozen plus kids, not being allowed to change you clothes is a pretty smart rule.

[Panopticon]

It fits that the Duggar whose thread title invokes a diaper mountain is also the one who deliberately sat in urine as a teenager. Jessa is quite the product of her environment.

[Zella]

Yeah after reading that, I believe Jessa is just someone who is profoundly unbothered by things that gross out normal people, like pee or birthing residue on the sofa and diaper mountains on the counter, and that's why it absolutely baffles her when she posts gross things and gets called out on it. 

[iwantcookies]

Jessa: I smell like pee and I don’t care 🤣 

[BigBingerBro]

My first thought when reading that Jessa story was "Wow how smart" - she had figured out a way to buck the system and be able to change her clothes.   But then immediately, I thought "Wow that's f*cked up".  Boob and MeShell should be in prison.

[Cinnabon]

Isn’t this the school Bin went to? He sure has a track record of being adjacent to sexual abuse - Vision Forum, Josh, and now Moody. Why not a post preaching about these evils, Bin?

They Went to Bible College to Deepen Their Faith. Then They Were Assaulted—and Blamed for It.

At Moody Bible Institute, purity culture and complementarianism have worked together to forgive abusers and punish the abused.

https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2021/09/moody-bible-institute-purity-culture-evangelicalism-sexual-assault-title-ix-mbi-survivors-group/

More from the article:

And finally, it is time, they argue, to move beyond the purity culture that has defined and infected Moody—and imperiled women on campus—for far too long. “All the responsibilities are on the girls to be pure,” says Anna Schutte, who graduated from Moody in 2020. “You know, if a guy has a porn addiction and a sex addiction, you should pray for him. But if a girl gets assaulted, it’s her fault.

[lascuba]

36 minutes ago, BigBingerBro said:

My first thought when reading that Jessa story was "Wow how smart" - she had figured out a way to buck the system and be able to change her clothes.   But then immediately, I thought "Wow that's f*cked up".  Boob and MeShell should be in prison.

It doesn't sound like a bid deal in the grand scheme of things, but having a rule that not even a teenager is allowed to change their clothes unless they get dirty? Imagine living in a house with dozens of such petty, controlling rules...that will fuck anyone up. 

[Churchhoney]

1 hour ago, Cinnabon said:

Isn’t this the school Bin went to? He sure has a track record of being adjacent to sexual abuse - Vision Forum, Josh, and now Moody. Why not a post preaching about these evils, Bin?

They Went to Bible College to Deepen Their Faith. Then They Were Assaulted—and Blamed for It.

At Moody Bible Institute, purity culture and complementarianism have worked together to forgive abusers and punish the abused.

https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2021/09/moody-bible-institute-purity-culture-evangelicalism-sexual-assault-title-ix-mbi-survivors-group/

More from the article:

And finally, it is time, they argue, to move beyond the purity culture that has defined and infected Moody—and imperiled women on campus—for far too long. “All the responsibilities are on the girls to be pure,” says Anna Schutte, who graduated from Moody in 2020. “You know, if a guy has a porn addiction and a sex addiction, you should pray for him. But if a girl gets assaulted, it’s her fault.

This culture is a retrograde patriarchy where people can hide behind ideas about "freedom of religion" and religion as being the only effective source of good morals in our society while they exercise their power by committing all sorts of abuses and crimes.

That kind of thing is all over, of course, but it's especially advanced in conservative churches because they experience so little pushback against "patriarchs in charge" thinking. .... 

[Minivanessa]

1 hour ago, lascuba said:

It doesn't sound like a bid deal in the grand scheme of things, but having a rule that not even a teenager is allowed to change their clothes unless they get dirty? Imagine living in a house with dozens of such petty, controlling rules...that will fuck anyone up. 

I read that AMA on Reddit. IIRC, she wasn't a teenager at that time. More like 9 or 10. 

[Panopticon]

29 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

I read that AMA on Reddit. IIRC, she wasn't a teenager at that time. More like 9 or 10. 

Correct, I was the one who first said teenager in this thread and my math was off. 

[lascuba]

28 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

I read that AMA on Reddit. IIRC, she wasn't a teenager at that time. More like 9 or 10. 

I only read a few of his responses so I don't have a sense of the time line. 9-10 makes it a bit less disturbing, I think, though still disgusting.

[skatelady]

2 hours ago, lascuba said:

It doesn't sound like a bid deal in the grand scheme of things, but having a rule that not even a teenager is allowed to change their clothes unless they get dirty? Imagine living in a house with dozens of such petty, controlling rules...that will fuck anyone up. 

To be fair, I had that rule in my house when my girls were teens. When they were younger, their clothes did need to be washed daily because they played outside in dirt, but as teens they were neater - HOWEVER, they would often toss each day's clothes in the basket regardless. Sorry, NO, it is possible to wear an outfit more than once before washing. (I didn't force them to wear the same thing to school on consecutive days, but I also didn't allow them to wash for no reason). If that was Jessa's rule, it's not all that outrageous.

Who am I kidding. I'm sure it was all about control and making life easier for Meech.

[lascuba]

1 minute ago, skatelady said:

To be fair, I had that rule in my house when my girls were teens. When they were younger, their clothes did need to be washed daily because they played outside in dirt, but as teens they were neater - HOWEVER, they would often toss each day's clothes in the basket regardless. Sorry, NO, it is possible to wear an outfit more than once before washing. (I didn't force them to wear the same thing to school on consecutive days, but I also didn't allow them to wash for no reason). If that was Jessa's rule, it's not all that outrageous.

Who am I kidding. I'm sure it was all about control and making life easier for Meech.

One of the things that bother me about it is that we all know Michelle wasn't doing any laundry. It really feels like a pure control thing, because it's sinful to care that much about what one is wearing or, more sinster,  changing clothes would mean being alone for any length of time. 

[Churchhoney]

7 minutes ago, lascuba said:

One of the things that bother me about it is that we all know Michelle wasn't doing any laundry. It really feels like a pure control thing, because it's sinful to care that much about what one is wearing or, more sinster,  changing clothes would mean being alone for any length of time. 

I'm sure it ultimately had a lot to do with control and with not spending much time naked or in your underwear while changing, and so onn.

I do wonder whether it may have started partly because of the water bill, though. 

[lascuba]

7 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

I'm sure it ultimately had a lot to do with control and with not spending much time naked or in your underwear while changing, and so onn.

I do wonder whether it may have started partly because of the water bill, though. 

I try not to give Michelle or Jim Bob much benefit of the doubt, but that's a fair point, I have to admit. 

[crazy8s]

if Jessa was 9 or 10,  timewise, where does that fit in with michelle's laundry room breakdown and the nice lady volunteering to do their laundry?

[GeeGolly]

19 minutes ago, crazy8s said:

if Jessa was 9 or 10,  timewise, where does that fit in with michelle's laundry room breakdown and the nice lady volunteering to do their laundry?

None of the timelines seem to make sense. Its been thought Michelle had the breakdown after Jinger or Joe was born. The story is she was at the piano teacher's home a couple of days after the breakdown.  Josh was only 6 then and the twins were 4. That's kind of young for piano lessons.

But I'm guessing it was long before Jessa was 9 or 10.

[Churchhoney]

1 hour ago, lascuba said:

I try not to give Michelle or Jim Bob much benefit of the doubt, but that's a fair point, I have to admit. 

I don't think we need to give them the benefit of any doubts on this ..... "Don't have a gazillion children, and then your children can be clean and cared for without running up water bills that send you into bankruptcy. Thoughtless jerks." 😁 

Edited December 18, 2021 by Churchhoney

[Churchhoney]

1 hour ago, crazy8s said:

if Jessa was 9 or 10,  timewise, where does that fit in with michelle's laundry room breakdown and the nice lady volunteering to do their laundry?

Am I hallucinating or did the breakdown happen when Josh was around six or seven? When there were seven kids and Josh had started school? 

If that's true, then Jessa was approximately threeish? at the time of the breakdown. So....six years or so after the breakdown? 

Or else I'm talking through my hat....which is entirely possible....

 

Edited December 18, 2021 by Churchhoney

[VioletWitch]

I can see Ben and/or Jessa having their own “laundry room” breakdown if there arent some major changes anytime soon. I think they were banking on Counting On, where they were they were the most featured couple, but now that’s a bust. Ben doesn’t seem to have the book smarts of Derick or the public speaking skills and ambition of Jeremy, so he’s stuck working for Jim Bob, who also has ten sons and their families to support as well as Anna and her kids. That’s a terrible spot to be in. 

[madpsych78]

3 hours ago, VioletWitch said:

I can see Ben and/or Jessa having their own “laundry room” breakdown if there arent some major changes anytime soon. I think they were banking on Counting On, where they were they were the most featured couple, but now that’s a bust. Ben doesn’t seem to have the book smarts of Derick or the public speaking skills and ambition of Jeremy, so he’s stuck working for Jim Bob, who also has ten sons and their families to support as well as Anna and her kids. That’s a terrible spot to be in. 

Jeremy doesn't have good public speaking skills IMO - I'd argue that Ben's are marginally better. It is true that Jeremy has more ambition though.

[andromeda331]

14 hours ago, graefin said:

So Bowman Fedosky, the son of Teresa (the "midwife" who kills newborns via negligence) and Scott (the narc addict "doc"), did a Reddit AMA, and from what I've read, I'm impressed by his articulateness and humor. This particular piece of gold stood out:

 

I don't know what's more messed up that being a favorite memory of Jessa or Jessa having to sit on pee in order to wear something else. JB and Michelle are so horrible. 

[Westiepeach]

9 hours ago, madpsych78 said:

Jeremy doesn't have good public speaking skills IMO - I'd argue that Ben's are marginally better. It is true that Jeremy has more ambition though.

Jerm’s ambition is just to be famous. He doesn’t really care how he gets there, he just wants to be there. Like others have said, he really needs to pick a lane. Right now he is just throwing things out there to see what sticks, and is, IMHO, failing miserably.

Edited December 19, 2021 by Westiepeach

[lascuba]

11 hours ago, andromeda331 said:

I don't know what's more messed up that being a favorite memory of Jessa or Jessa having to sit on pee in order to wear something else. JB and Michelle are so horrible. 

I could see that being a favorite memory because it seems so rebellious...she wanted to get around the rule so badly that she did something that gross. I personally would have spilled food on myself or something, but as a general admirer of malicious compliance, I get it.

[GeeGolly]

Was that Jessa's favorite memory or the Fedosky son's favorite memory?

[auntieminem]

54 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Was that Jessa's favorite memory or the Fedosky son's favorite memory?

From the AMA it was his response to the question "Do you have any favorite stories about interaction with any of the Duggar kids?"

[crazy8s]

i find humor in then Jessa wanting to change her clothes and now Jessa boasting on SM that everyone in her family only owns 4 outfits so there is less laundry.

[Nysha]

My take away on Jessa sitting in urine to change her clothes is that the kids had to sleep in their clothes and couldn't change until JB or Michelle realized their clothes were soiled or smelled. Or, it was their day to bathe, which I'm sure was about once a week.

I think Jessa is a master manipulator, but she learned at a very young age that if she was going to get her needs met she would have to be proactive. The emotional damage runs deep in the Duggar children and the methods they used to cope as children are the same ones they use to navigate life as adults.

[Lady Whistleup]

I hate Jessa but that was kind of awesome that she sat in urine to get new clothes. You have the feeling there are a lot of these Duggar stories.

[emmawoodhouse]

I want to know who peed on the couch in the first place? An undiapered baby?