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Commercials That Annoy, Irritate or Outright Enrage


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No WAY!! Seriously, a woman in her 60s who lives in my area was recently scammed out of either $500K or $300K (I've heard both figures) by a Nigerian con man on Christian Mingle.

The Christian Mingle commercials that bug me most are 1) The woman who sobs, "He's my second chance!" and 2) The one featuring the blended family, with the little blond girl who was obviously coached to say that the hole in her heart was filled by two very special people. What eight-year-old would come up with something like that?

Hey now - Let those Christians "mingle" ( what ever mingle means)  :)

Forget salad bars, have you been to Golden Corral lately? I can never understand WTF they would put a chocolate fountain in a place like that, with ten thousand bratty kids picking stuff up off the floor and dipping it in, or just their hands. Nasty.

 

And get off my lawn.

And you know what? Those crotchfruits will be packing heat in a theater someplace - Mad Max here we come

Carl's Jr., which in the past has been known for its conservative political support, is also well known for their ads with jiggly female bits.

Let them eat cake :)

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... but it's not like the guy had leprosy and left an ear on the salad bar.

 

OK, I literally laughed out loud at this.  Fortunately, I'm reading this Sunday morning, and I'm home alone, not Monday morning in the office.

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My Resume

 

From Alfred E Newman

 

To Dewey Cheatem and Howe – Ad agency

 

Prior Experience:

 

Aluminum can prospector; can be seen on Route 66 with black garbage bags and an old 10 speed bicycle.

 

Birdwatcher – location Antarctica

 

Scrabble champion – 1972 in the MT Carmel home finals (useful for those drug company ads when you need a buzz name for the latest drug – soon to be killing or maiming desperate users)

 

Can pronounce the words PER-duction and can repeat “moving or going forward” until the listener(s) shoot themselves

 

Positive attributes; have no scruples; have no sense of logic or target audience.  IQ (close to that of a fruit fly or rotten egg)

 

Desired salary; whatever the AD budget is for Liberty Mutual or Redd’s apple Ale


Contact phone number – BR 549

Contact address – one flew over the cuckoo’s nest setting

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Dunkin' Donuts - That's breakfast whenevs. No. No it is not. Whenevs is not a thing.

Comcast, I think it is, has brought back their Get Your Geek On high-speed internet ad. If doing something as normal and commonplace as using the net to do homework makes you a geek, well, what's the point of the word geek?

I wish Sam Adams would replace their vocal fry narrator.

There's a yogurt commercial where a woman romps and gambols about with a man wearing a yogurt container. I think he's supposed to be the product, but he looks like a damn fool in a big old yogurt diaper.

Charmin - Enjoy the Go. Hey, Charmin, how about you enjoy the go fuck yourself?

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I'm starting to get annoyed with the Walmart commercial with the group of women shopping for eyeglasses and they run into Drew Barrymore.  As someone who has purchased eyeglasses at Walmart, it's not the exciting shopping trip with girlfriends that they make it out to be, especially when there are probably about six customers waiting to be helped by one of the probably two employees working in that department at a time.

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I've always hated yogurt commercials but there was an old Dannon commercial where some woman scarfs down a container right out of the grocery aisle. So just because it's low fat, it's okay for women to be portrayed as eating like pigs?! Fuck you, Dannon!

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I know the new Panera ad campaign has been mentioned before, but it really can't be over emphasized how awful it is. Those commercials are disgusting. If their food truly tastes better when you scarf it like a feral child, then it's not good food. I haven't gone to Panera since I saw one of those stupid, nasty ads.

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There's a yogurt commercial where a woman romps and gambols about with a man wearing a yogurt container. I think he's supposed to be the product, but he looks like a damn fool in a big old yogurt diaper.

 

I have no desire to eat yogurt when the container has been wrapper around a man's genitals and ass while he frolics on the beach.  They are working hard to equate yogurt with sex.  Yeah, no. 

 

Everyone at some point has probably tried to put a bite of food in their mouth only to realize it is too big.  According to the Panera ads, in that situation you should just shove it in then smile like you are the cutest thing ever when you are chewing with your half open mouth that has lettuce falling out.  

 

I suspect advertisers have somehow confused images that make me want to consume their food with those that make me heave. 

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I know the new Panera ad campaign has been mentioned before, but it really can't be over emphasized how awful it is. Those commercials are disgusting. If their food truly tastes better when you scarf it like a feral child, then it's not good food. I haven't gone to Panera since I saw one of those stupid, nasty ads.

I particularly hate the narration in this one. When she says lettuce should be dirty, with that voice, that's when I mute it.

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That reminds me of the new Perdue chicken commercial that I've seen about 400 times today. Jim Perdue takes a large bite of chicken and smiles. He doesn't chew it. It's so bizarre to me!

In another commercial, they are boasting how they have never had antibiotics in their chicken. Erm, Perdue is one of the biggest polluters in rural NC. The conditions in which they raise their chickens are deplorable. I realize one does not equal the other, but typically, a company that cares about how its animals are raised...cares about how its animals are raised.

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I read an article about Go Daddy and how they're going to change their emphasis from sex to something that will attract women rather than prepubescent males. Well, if their newest commercial is what they've come up with for a new and improved Go Daddy, they've failed miserably. It's a woman who apparently started a new business and got her first customer. She's so happy she starts gyrating like some possessed lunatic, with her family members doing the same. Seriously, the woman gets such a nasty, scary look on her face, that's it's totally off putting. Bad job, Go Daddy.

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I recognized his voice and just looked it up to confirm it--it seems that Norm MacDonald is the new Colonel Sanders. No explanation why.

I wonder if this is going to be KFC's new thing: Guess which SNL alum is playing Col Sanders this time?

Edited by Haleth
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I wonder if this is going to be KFC's new thing: Guess which SNL alum is playing Col Sanders this time?

I couldn't help but notice a "Gallery of Colonels" on their YouTube page and wondered if they were going to randomly switch the actor playing him.

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Forget salad bars, have you been to Golden Corral lately? I can never understand WTF they would put a chocolate fountain in a place like that, with ten thousand bratty kids picking stuff up off the floor and dipping it in, or just their hands. Nasty.

If you want to avoid having kids sticking their paws in the food, go to a buffet for lunch instead of dinner. The trade-off is that if there's a discount for lunch (like GC on weekdays), they won't have their featured entrees; everything else will still be there (including the fountain).

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There was an ad for some med or other and two guys are at the driving range and Guy 1 asks if Guy 2 is ready to hit some balls and Guy 2 tries to swing his club and winces. Guy 1 asks what's the matter and instead of just ANSWERING HIM, Guy 2 lifts up his shirt to show his foot long three inch wide tire tread of shingles sores. What the fuck dude. No one needs to see that out in public, animal.

Sorry, I just found it so incredibly gross. Besides the fact that Guy 2 should probably be home letting that shit breathe instead of covering it with a scratchy shirt.

  • Love 9
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There was an ad for some med or other and two guys are at the driving range and Guy 1 asks if Guy 2 is ready to hit some balls and Guy 2 tries to swing his club and winces. Guy 1 asks what's the matter and instead of just ANSWERING HIM, Guy 2 lifts up his shirt to show his foot long three inch wide tire tread of shingles sores. What the fuck dude. No one needs to see that out in public, animal.

Sorry, I just found it so incredibly gross. Besides the fact that Guy 2 should probably be home letting that shit breathe instead of covering it with a scratchy shirt.

I have had shingles and, let me tell you, you will not be wanting to go out on a damn golf course.  The pain is just that bad.  Stupid commercial.

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I wonder if this is going to be KFC's new thing: Guess which SNL alum is playing Col Sanders this time?

 

I hate the ad campaign but would love it if this were true and they followed up with POC and female alumni. Maya Rudolph, Tracy Morgan as the Colonel?

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Darrell Hammond out, Norm McDonald in:

I'm still don't find it funny. KFC keeps on finding new ways to mock & desecrate Colonel Sanders, his reputation, and his restaurant that he cares so much. Its like the current owners don't give a damn about him & having his type of standards (high) in his restaurants. I weep for the Original Colonel Sanders today because this current day KFC is not something he would accept or tolerate.

 

 

 

Forget salad bars, have you been to Golden Corral lately? I can never understand WTF they would put a chocolate fountain in a place like that, with ten thousand bratty kids picking stuff up off the floor and dipping it in, or just their hands. Nasty.

If you want to avoid having kids sticking their paws in the food, go to a buffet for lunch instead of dinner. The trade-off is that if there's a discount for lunch (like GC on weekdays), they won't have their featured entrees; everything else will still be there (including the fountain).

 

Thanks to Jeff Foxworthy, they now serve breakfast all day at Golden Corral so the kids can put more nasty things at their "Chocolate Wonderfall." I still can't believe that Golden Corral still has the Chocolate Fountain & is still making a mockery of it. 

Edited by Magog
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I'm still don't find it funny. KFC keeps on finding new ways to mock & desecrate Colonel Sanders, his reputation, and his restaurant that he cares so much. Its like the current owners don't give a damn about him & having his type of standards (high) in his restaurants. I weep for the Original Colonel Sanders today because this current day KFC is not something he would accept or tolerate.

 

I wish they would just rerun all the old black and white commercials with the REAL Col Harlen Sanders.

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There's an ad for Green Mountain Gringo Salsa. A group of tourists are about to take a tour of the plant where the salsa is supposedly made. The peppy blond tour guide insists that one of the people on the tour remove his hideous toupee because they don't allow anything artificial inside the factory. I feel so sorry for the guy because he seems perfectly nice -- he's just wearing a bad hairpiece. What if he's losing his hair because he's been sick or on chemo? And I'm not so sure that the tour guide's carpet matches the drapes, so maybe SHE should be barred from entering the factory.

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There was an ad for some med or other and two guys are at the driving range and Guy 1 asks if Guy 2 is ready to hit some balls and Guy 2 tries to swing his club and winces. Guy 1 asks what's the matter and instead of just ANSWERING HIM, Guy 2 lifts up his shirt to show his foot long three inch wide tire tread of shingles sores. What the fuck dude. No one needs to see that out in public, animal.

Sorry, I just found it so incredibly gross. Besides the fact that Guy 2 should probably be home letting that shit breathe instead of covering it with a scratchy shirt.

 

I have had shingles and, let me tell you, you will not be wanting to go out on a damn golf course.  The pain is just that bad.  Stupid commercial.

 

Seriously. My shingles weren't properly diagnosed until it was too late to take the antiviral meds (I had to just let it run its course), and moving my arm enough to pour the copious amounts of alcohol I felt like consuming was excruciating.  

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I hate the ad campaign but would love it if this were true and they followed up with POC and female alumni. Maya Rudolph, Tracy Morgan as the Colonel?

 

Only if you want the internet to turn inside out, explode and then catch on fire. POC hawking fried chicken?

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"I know Taylor Swift is this huge juggernaut of a success, but this ad for her upcoming

tour still irritates. Grown people screaming and crying - even if true; Taylor give your huge ego a rest, OK?"

My local stations are Nashville, TN (home of country music). Taylor Swift is treated

like a deity by the news affiliates. It's enough to gag a maggot!

  • Love 3
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I hate Papa John. Sometimes I think company owners/founders should stay the hell out of the advertising. That means you too, creepy e-Harmony oil slick.

The Liberty Mutual commercials have been rightly and righteously torn to ribbons here, but I must pile on. It's annoying enough to hear from people who aren't hip to the basics of insurance in an insurance ad, but they're so crabby and belligerent about it. I don't really need attitude from dolts who name their car Brad or who don't give a shit that they "tapped" someone's bumper.

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So, looks like Jared is going to plead guilty to child pornography.

Edited because there is no logical reason why I randomly capitalized "child pornography."

Because child pornography should be a capital offense?
  • Love 13
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