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  1. I still remember the day Billy Miller’s Billy socked Cane right in the chops. I believe it was right after the faux Philip grift was discovered. I guess Cane’s leaving the way he came in, smarmily sponging off the Chancellor family
  2. Maybe Thomas fell into a vat of brown acid and returns trippin’ balls. I’d watch that.
  3. I don’t get it. The fallout from the baby switch could have sprouted so many interesting storylines, but Bell chooses the worst possible one: a custody fight between a psycho and the object of his obsession. Who sits there and thinks “hmmm, after this long, dreary, depressing dead baby story, I’ll cleanse the viewer’s palate with a fight over a little boy, complete with scenes of his crazy father being verbally and emotionally abusive?” That’s a rhetorical question, as it is painfully clear that Bell is unaware of his limitations. Ridge and Steffy have inappropriate chemistry. I don’
  4. Basically... when characters have to behave in alien, profoundly stupid ways to manufacture conflict and force the plot along, the writing is obviously shit. There’s no reason at all not to have Steffy, Liam, and Hope sit down and figure out a plan. And for fuck’s sake, Beth and Kelly are sisters, so it’s not like there’s no reason to get together. Hope and Steffy can still have tension and snipe at each other (I’d prefer that they didn’t), but having Liam sneak around and be a dink to Hope when caught is frustrating because it’s only happening due to the writers not being creative enough.
  5. I can barely be arsed to comment on it. Like it’s so monotonously bad that I can’t really get angry enough to complain about the poor quality.
  6. I just can’t believe Liam would take Beth to see Steffy on the sly. After everything he and Hope have gone through, after clearly being devoted to Hope all these months, he pulls a colossal blunder that only a man with the IQ of a sea cucumber would indulge in. And then he doubles down on it and has words coming out of his mouth that should be followed by all the taste being slapped out of his piehole. Either Liam’s head injuries have caused lasting damage or Brad Bell thinks his viewers are on the level of the aforementioned sea cucumbers. Nobody on this show learns a goddamned thing. T
  7. Oh god, I had no idea. Rest in peace, valleycliffe. Just... sorry, there are no words.
  8. I can’t believe Wyatt used to be my favorite. I fucking hate the sight of him now. The Triangle of Doom is back. Click. I guess Bell is really comfortable in that rut of unoriginality.
  9. Nick’s political platform has allegedly been leaked to the press: Economic plan: a banana in every hammock. Removing the stigma from manspreading through a concerted education campaign, “Taming the Taint: What You Need to Know” Grunting will become Genoa City’s official language. One free back and buttocks shaving per year, available to everyone. Nick Newman does not discriminate. GC will host a yearly ChelseaCon to bring in the tourists. Get an autograph from Chelsea, listen to an eight hour speech about Connor’s deep, fascinating thoughts, and be given a vouche
  10. Cane just needs a trip to the blood bank and he’ll be back to his dry, pale self in no time flat.
  11. Well, Douglas should be with someone else. Brooke just has the wrong couple in mind. I’m glad Ridge got kicked to the curb, but jesus christ on toast points, even he cannot possibly be so dense. His density is purely plot driven to land him in Shawna’s bed, nothing more. He knows damn well his son is a horrid piece of shit and Brooke is right to not want him around after what he did to Hope and Liam. There is no way he doesn’t know this. Thomas has been a total piece of shit to him too. Industrial strength parental blinders can’t block out what an amoral turd in desperate need of real he
  12. Perhaps when Choo choo attempts to blackmail his father, Ridge will realize what a despicable piece of shit his son is. Just kidding. Thomas could push him off a cliff, claim Brooke made him do it, and Ridge would be all “well, maybe...” from his hospital bed. I guess Bell is too edgy for the more traditional storytelling paradigms. The important and interesting fallout from this godawful baby switch is not Liam and Hope getting to be happy, Steffy dealing with the loss of Beth and her anger at Thomas, Justin realizing someone killed his niece, or Wyatt realizing what a moron and piss po
  13. He gave Devon’s money to a rancid jar of mayo. JG can get fucked all the way to Pluto. I don’t particularly care if the story ends with Devon in possession of his billions and Cane having to use a pine box as his bed. This story is insulting, unnecessary, illogical, and a piss poor use of history and off-screen characters. Blech.
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