NinjaPenguins

There was once a bear in the woods who supposedly sampled Sheila’s goods He ate all but a toe But wouldn’t you know The situation was entirely misunderstood P.S. Ten. Toes.

I am not entertained by the tired trope of one character trying to confess something while the other character interrupts them with such frequency that the truth doesn’t come out or takes forever to emerge. Stop padding the script and get the show on the road. Damn. If show could stop flashing back to bare feet (with TEN TOES!!!) disappearing into the crematorium fire, that would be swell. Although having Carl randomly show up to exclaim “THAT’S REALLY HOT!” might be amusing. I noticed Lauren was in the previews. She flew to California and made the rounds, flew back to Wisconsin to celebrate the Newman anniversary with a cringeworthy description of their “glorious love” and then flew back to California to confront Deacon?

Where did this magnificent turn of phrase come from? Characters keep telling me that Steffy is torn up about killing Sheila, but she’s not putting out that vibe. It kind of galls me to see Steffy being so buddy buddy with RJ after she’s put in so much work unloading vitriol on his other sister and mother. I wish he’d catch her spewing her misogynistic filth. Hopefully he’d have more of a spine than his ogre of a dad.

Ridge is so unlikeable. He’s so juvenile, heading over to Deacon’s place of business to talk shit to a grieving man. Was Sheila horrible and loathsome in every way? Yes indeed. Is it cool to talk about putting her down like a sick animal? I personally don’t think so. Ridge has all that money but still won’t spring for a modicum of class or human decency. He and Steffy are insufferable together. Nice of Zende to put on a cowboy shirt for all the horseshit shoveling he did today. He definitely sees himself as the “picking up the pieces” guy. Show really does go overboard exonerating Zende for Mint Night. Thomas is still the King of Schmucks, but Zende’s just starting out.

I feel like “Sheila back from the dead” is one of those go-to moves with diminishing returns. We just had the suspenseless Did a Bear Eat Sheila? non-mystery and now we have the morbid sight of ten toes disappearing into the crematory fires. (Honestly, I’d rather not spend a whole episode of a soap opera at a crematorium to begin with. WTF?) Everyone saw this coming. It would have been more shocking to see nine toes. Ultimately we’re in for months of Deacon and Finn having mind numbing, repetitive conversations on a topic that has been beaten to death a thousand times before: “is Sheila really alive?” I expect ‘I saw ten toes’ to become the new ‘birth mother.’ Lol@Lauren expressing concern that poor Steffy had to kill someone. This ain’t Steffy’s first rodeo, lady.

I’ll need the whole weekend to recover from the shock.

Most definitely. Unfortunately, the number of people who try to disabuse her of this notion is far outstripped by those blowing sunshine up her nose. Everything Steffy does is the bestest - just ask her. This is the woman congratulating herself to Liam for considering Finn’s feelings, which, you know, ought to be something you automatically do for your husband. Or any human being really. Steffy acts like she’s making a huge sacrifice and is deserving of the Nobel Peace Prize for her novel act of empathy. Then Liam tells her how strong and fair and kind she is, Steffy inexplicably flashes some leg at him and the beat goes on. I hope we find out the casket at the memorial is empty, or, barring that, someone jumps out of it. Doesn’t have to be Sheila. Let’s lean in to the ridiculousness.

I like how Steffy clearly thought she was being magnanimous by allowing Finn to make his own decision about attending Sheila’s memorial. Her generosity knows no bounds. Of course Liam understands her side of things; if Steffy said the Earth was flat, he’d try to throw himself off the edge of it. Hope was making some excellent faces during the memorial.

I know, right? Like what kind of relationship do Steffy and Thomas have exactly? I could understand if Steffy meant that Thomas spent so much time with Hope that he none left for his family or if Hope and Thomas moved to Antarctica at Hope’s insistence. Steffy and Thomas live in the same neighborhood and work in the same damn building. Also gross is Steffy clinging to the childish, outdated notion that brothers and husbands can be “stolen.” She acts like Brooke broke into their happy home, stuffed Ridge in a burlap sack and absconded with him back to her supervillain lair. A grown ass woman needs to acknowledge that her father has agency. I kind of wish RJ could hear his darling sister slagging his mom and other sister, but knowing this show, he’d just bow down to Queen Steffy.

The writing for this show is absolutely deranged. Clearly the show takes place in an alternate universe where women who don’t accept marriage proposals on the man’s timeline are exiled to Bitchville after a period of shaming. The people in charge of this clown show should put a disclaimer at the beginning of every episode: Misogynistic Dystopia Ahead. Oh, and the gaslighting. The endless gaslighting that must be deployed in order to keep the fucked up Forester branch squeaky clean. Steffy is completely fabricating a version of Thomas & Hope that never existed and punishing Hope for it. Ridge and Steffy both acting brand new, as if Hope hadn’t repeatedly and clearly told Thomas she wasn’t ready for marriage, was the cherry on the shit sundae. When Ridge shrugged his shoulders at Brooke after she pointed out the cruelty of taking Douglas to Paris, like “herp derp what are you gonna do, he kept proposing and she said no“, I wanted Brooke to give him a second vasectomy. Or how about the casual way he brushed off the baby Beth thing? No wonder his kids with Taylor are broken toys. Hey, was Steffy talking to a mirror at the end there? I could have sworn she was describing herself when I heard the word “trash”. I could have done without Hope describing the relationship as beautiful or healthy, but I hope she stays motivated to make Steffy regret her vulgar behavior. Zende, please stop. I feel like he could easily get a date and not have to moon after his cousin’s girlfriend. Hey, how come RJ hasn’t proposed to Luna yet? They’ve known each other for at least a week and had sex.

The reason it strikes me as manipulative is that Thomas is getting everything he wants, with Hope telling him repeatedly she’s not ready for marriage. She’s giving him sex, intimacy, co-parenting, working with him… and she sets one very reasonable boundary that he can’t be arsed to respect. When he fails to break down that one wall, he takes his ball and goes off to Paris like a big baby. Not only that, he takes off with Douglas to add insult to injury. Hope has been crystal clear about the marriage thing, Thomas is probably hoping breaking up with her will cause Hope to chase after him and withholding their son will pressure her into making a “real family.” I can definitely see an argument where he’s not being manipulative, only heartbroken, but he is being punitive. He’s putting his hurt feelings over what’s best for Douglas. I really hope Thomas coached Douglas to say all those awful things to Hope. I’d hate to think Douglas was naturally blossoming into a horrible Taytot. Not that Thomas needs more strikes against him, but it’s better than Douglas coming up with it on his own.

That was awful. Steffy is so vile, smug and hateful that I can’t even stand to see her on screen. I don’t want Thomas and Hope to ever reunite, so if Steffy’s hideous behavior is some weird attempt to prop them as a couple, it’s a fucking failure with me. If it’s an effort to make the audience want Steffy launched into Jupiter’s orbit via giant trebuchet - well, that’s a resounding success. She’s not a bad ass or strong woman; she’s just an overbearing, arrogant asshole. Douglas’ little speech - woof. That was some high level manipulative garbage that didn’t really ring true with the smart, honest kid we’d seen before. That whole scene was appalling. I guess the message is that if a woman doesn’t want to get married after less than a year of dating, she deserves to be punished, scorned, painted as a libidinous manipulator and be separated from her children? What alternate dimension do these characters inhabit? Thomas, fuck off with your manipulative trip out of town. Ridge, fuck off with your weasel like, trying to take everyone’s side bullshit. Scrounge up the courage to tell your daughter what’s what. Brooke, run from a man who stands there like a dope while his wretched ogre of a child attacks your daughter. Hope, consider yourself lucky.

If Finn once did the deed with Poppy, you’d think things would be more awkward between them. He never had a weird reaction to her name being mentioned by Li or Luna. Plus, ew. What is the big hairy deal about Brooke and Ridge approving of Hope and Thomas? These people spend way too much time mulling over the sex lives of their family members. And did Hope say Thomas was great with the kids, like kids plural? Meaning Beth? That’s a non-starter for me. I don’t care how much work that suffocating asshole claims he’s done. I notice too that Mr. “No Pressure” is proposing again. He’s got no chill at all.

I’ll get on board with them. If they’re on the Hindenburg or Titanic.

I’d almost think Poppy and Zende were going to get together if he wasn’t so hung up on Luna. Their obsession with Luna not telling the truth is bizarre. Get a grip, you assholes. Speaking of assholes, Thomas keeps love bombing Hope and getting sweet fuck all in return. Buy a clue, buddy. Also, wtf with Ridge’s murderous children?