Wow, Lala looks like the proverbial wet saddle in the opening credits!
Fuck, I had forgotten about this show foisting Nicholas, Stassi's wise old younger brother on us at least once a season. Just stop it! What was the deal with her mother? I missed last season so I assume there's more to what she told us about her. Why is Schemer telling successful businesswoman Lisa Vandbucks, who is wearing a pentagram, about her private affairs with Brett? It just confirms his claims about you being desperate for a man. Speaking of desperate and stalker-like, love how she showed up with the guys hanging out and shooting the breeze in order to have a heart to heart with Maxx. Schemer then proceeds to act like a stalker and repeats the same things we heard about that perfect bf of hers who could install flat screen TVs in less than two minutes. Stassi gets a nasty text message from FI Tom, presumably b/c he felt excluded from her plans to sell her books she bought at Books-A-Million at "his bar", or maybe at the producers' request. Meanwhile, Schemer and some other girls decide they're going to make their SUR "uniforms" more slutty, sharing all sorts of things I did not want to know. Does Danica taking money from Brett and then having sex with him make her a hooker, and why is talking about his long talk with Schemer (who ignored him) as if it didn't happen last week? Later, at Statssi's "book signing", we discover Schwartz fucked up and didn't get bartenders lined up so they had to get some third stringers, including Mongo the moron. "Mongo make drinks!" Did I hear Schwartz claim he could have bartended? Oh, really? Oh crap, Nicolas is there! I guess he's going to hear about her losing her virginity after all.. OK, I really don't care about FI Tom's hissy fit and them all standing in a circle clucking and squawking, but I thought the quick cut-away of Kristen innocently sipping her drink while trying to eavesdrop was funny. Naturally, successful businesswoman Lisa Vanderbucks has to get involved the next day. Schemer sucks as a trainer, BTW.