The Duggalos: Jinger and the Holy Goalie

[Snow Fairy]

3 hours ago, RedheadZombie said:

Whatever she’s doing to her hair is causing breakage at her hairline.  She needs to take a break on the straightening. 

Or maybe she is now starting to lose hair after birth. For me it started 5-6 month after both births. 

A few months later I hate lots of baby hair growing, no way to hide or comb it. It was just there, in the air

[TVFAN]

I think Jinger and Felicity traveling with Jeremy is a good thing.  Jinger and her siblings had such an isolated childhood.  As far as I'm concerned, the more both Jinger and Felicity are exposed to different people with different ideas the better.  

I don't see Felicity going to a public school, but I'm willing to wager she may end up in an actual school at some point. It will undoubtedly be a private, Christian school, but I could even see Jeremy sending her to a fairly large school.  Given his family's interests, he will want her to have music lessons, be involved in sports, etc.  He will also likely want her to go to college since he, his sister, etc. went, so she will need to be prepared for her college boards.  

[bythelake]

27 minutes ago, TVFAN said:

I think Jinger and Felicity traveling with Jeremy is a good thing.  Jinger and her siblings had such an isolated childhood.  As far as I'm concerned, the more both Jinger and Felicity are exposed to different people with different ideas the better.  

I don't see Felicity going to a public school, but I'm willing to wager she may end up in an actual school at some point. It will undoubtedly be a private, Christian school, but I could even see Jeremy sending her to a fairly large school.  Given his family's interests, he will want her to have music lessons, be involved in sports, etc.  He will also likely want her to go to college since he, his sister, etc. went, so she will need to be prepared for her college boards.  

There’s nothing I’d like more than to see Felicity lead a normal life, but there’s always been that little bit of doubt that keeps creeping in about Jeremy.

He’s  a speaker at that G3 convention, and the others on the roster sure don’t advocate for  women’s rights. 

I’ve often wondered why Jeremy picked backward,undereducated Jinjer as his spouse, and maybe I’m off base, but I think he wanted someone he could control, and that control will trickle down to his children.

Jeremy will be the one who controls how they dress, what they do,who their friends are and where they go to school. 

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, bythelake said:

There’s nothing I’d like more than to see Felicity lead a normal life, but there’s always been that little bit of doubt that keeps creeping in about Jeremy.

He’s  a speaker at that G3 convention, and the others on the roster sure don’t advocate for  women’s rights. 

I’ve often wondered why Jeremy picked backward,undereducated Jinjer as his spouse, and maybe I’m off base, but I think he wanted someone he could control, and that control will trickle down to his children.

Jeremy will be the one who controls how they dress, what they do,who their friends are and where they go to school. 

I agree with you and @TVFAN. Jeremy (and Jinger) will raise Felicity steeped in Christian patriarchy, but they will want to lead a less isolated life than Jinger lead. I do not believe Jeremy would EVER mistreat Jinger or Felicity (i.e. physical, verbal or sexual abuse of any kind), but HE is in charge of he household because HE is a man and that’s that. Women are lesser beings in need of men to guide them and assist them in reaching a godly lifestyle.

 

As far as him being controlling, he likely doesn’t bother controlling things that aren’t of interest to him-for example he isn’t telling Jinger how much makeup she can wear or what color nail polish- I think Jinger decides those things for herself, and he’s fine to let her chose how to decorate the home (I.e. women’s things)but on doctrine and lifestyle principles things are HIS way, because he’s a man. I would bet he tells her how much she can spend on groceries and clothes, not a discussion of their financial goals and budget but a decree of she can have X dollars to run the house and X dollars of pocket money etc.

Now given that Felicity will have more access to “the outside world” than Jinger had, if Christian patriarchy isn’t her thing she will have logistical (i.e. an education) and emotional (ie- a sense of self as an individual) options to leave. 

[Sew Sumi]

Looks like this coffee house church tapped into Duggar celebrity to get some attention. No doubt the Vuolos' expenses were covered.

[BitterApple]

Thank God for the coffee, otherwise the crowd wouldn't have been able to stay awake. And I'm using the word "crowd" very generously.

Looks like Jeremy's found his niche, using his Duggar affiliation to flit around and preach on someone else's dime. 

Edited December 3, 2018 by BitterApple

[PikaScrewChu]

On 11/30/2018 at 5:37 PM, Ijustwantsomechips said:

Am I the only one who wishes Jinger would stay her clingy ass home instead of dragging that young baby through germy terminals and airplanes?  Breastfeeding does not give your baby full immunity and cold and flu season is ramping up. 

It's that or be heading to the TTH she worked hard to escape from.

Plus as others pointed out, it would be JereME alone and he wouldn't attract the crowds that Jinger Duggar Vuolo does.

Jeremy should have just ditched the Vuolo moniker and adopted the Duggar moniker. No one would have questioned it, they would have just assumed he was another one of the Js.

Edited December 3, 2018 by PikaScrewChu

[OpieTaylor]

5 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

Looks like this coffee house church tapped into Duggar celebrity to get some attention. No doubt the Vuolos' expenses were covered.

I sure hope the Vuolos’ expenses weren't covered! How could a small congregation justify spending their money like that? - I would be furious if it were my church. I can see the pastor putting the Vuolos up at his house (perhaps the house with the swing in the kitchen?) or some other church member with a large enough house. 

Edited December 3, 2018 by OpieTaylor
Misplaced apostrophes

[Sew Sumi]

@OpieTaylor, I agree, but an all-expenses paid trip to Dallas is the perfect lure for a fame-hungry dude like Jeremy. I doubt he would have come if he had to re-up his family's own airfare. They obviously had a place to stay all lined up, probably the church's most well-to-do family.

Edited December 3, 2018 by Sew Sumi
Spellcheck! Damn you!

[Churchhoney]

1 hour ago, OpieTaylor said:

I sure hope the Vuolo's expenses weren't covered! How could a small congregation justify spending their money like that? - I would be furious if it were my church. I can see the pastor putting the Vuolo's up at his house (perhaps the house with the swing in the kitchen?) or some other church member with a large enough house. 

Maybe a lot of them are afflicted with severe insomnia (they meet in a coffee house, after all -- maybe they overdo it) .... Anyway, one of Jer's sermons would take care of that in just a few minutes. 

Could be worth it. 

Edited December 3, 2018 by Churchhoney

[Fostersmom]

On 12/1/2018 at 10:22 AM, lookeyloo said:

Y’all know I find them repulsive and love to snark - but - babies fly all the time. We fly and see babies. They don’t all screech. Many times hard to know they are on a flight. Our family member has an 18 month old that flew regularly.  They posted to Instagram things like “flight 26”. I babysat him numerous times and he is a good napper and sick rarely. Sadly they moved but they post pictures of him and his baby brother in all sorts of situations.  These are non fundie educated people. No sermons involved.  

And babies are exposed to a shit ton of germs on a daily basis by things much more mundane than flying. Putting a kid in a shopping cart is way more germy than a plane and few think twice about it. I have a friend with a extremely medically compromised daughter, she has SMA, and their biggest fear is the germs their other 3 kids bring home from school. I've never been on a plane with a screaming baby, but I've been in plenty of restaurants with them! 

[Jeanne222]

I'd like to hear Jeremy preach?  I'm curious about just how bad or good he is!

[Churchhoney]

7 minutes ago, Jeanne222 said:

I'd like to hear Jeremy preach?  I'm curious about just how bad or good he is!

This is one I hadn't heard before. He's getting quite a bit better, actually .... I was still bored. But he's definitely been working on it. .... And I don't know that Oliver Twist is a parable. Nor do I really see his point.... or maybe his thousands of points? but hey... 

https://www.gcclaredo.com/

Edited December 3, 2018 by Churchhoney

[Loves2Dance]

On 12/1/2018 at 6:53 AM, floridamom said:

How many times has little Felicity, born this past July, boarded an airplane? Too many IMO. All that traveling that she's doing will not develop good baby sleeping habits. The girl has no daily routine for eating and sleeping. Just like the rest of the Duggar children...up and out late at night, waking up and sleeping all hours....not a healthy lifestyle. I'm surprised, really, that Jinger and Jeremy aren't at home more at this time. This child hasn't slowed them down one bit. It appears that Jeremy is a 'guest pastor' at his own church due to hardly being there.

Not only do children travel all of the time, but I think this comes down to parenting philosophy. I was one of those moms who cringed when she heard her child cry, baby wore because it made them happy, nursed way longer than I ever wanted to and engaged with them when they were awake. But, and this is a huge but, my life didn't stop just because theirs were born. My oldest travels more in the first 18 months of her life than most Americans do in their lifetime courtesy of living overseas. She slept for 12 hours a night from the time she was 3 months old on, unless she was teething or going through sleep regressions. She went to vineyards, tulip gardens, cathedrals, castles, tours...etc, you name it and I was doing it. I am a firm believer in fitting children into your life, not bending yours to fit them. I applaud Jinger and Jeremy for appearing to have that same philosophy. We cater to our children way, way, way too much these days and I'm a Millennial who thinks most of my peers have gone mad when it comes to child rearing. 

[yogi2014L]

As a mom of a baby not much older than Jingers ( my baby is 5 mo)...the thought of taking her to all these places just makes me stressed out haha!

But my daughter only sleeps well if we stick to her nap schedule. Which is not conducive to travel (or doing anything really).  Babies in the 4-5 month range only should be awake for max 2- maybe 2.5 hours at a time. I wonder how that baby naps lol!

I'm also slightly crazy and not laid back at all, so I don't have the personality for on the fly living like the Duggars. 

I'll believe Jinger and Jeremy are good parents when they limit their family size to a manageable number of kids and allow their daughter to have a decent education. If Felicity is a sister mom at 10 then fuck them, Jeremy knows better.

[Loves2Dance]

On 12/1/2018 at 2:05 PM, Scarlett45 said:

I took a train trip to Canada at 6. On that trip I learned to do a French braid. 

 

I think a train trip would be fun for a small child, but the USA is such a car culture I don’t think most families do them often. It will be interesting to see how the families travel if they have more children. My mom and I always travel as a family of TWO, logistically that’s different than traveling as a family 5-6ppl. Even if your children have a good temperament for traveling. Jinger’s other infants may not travel as much as felicity has for that reason. 

We didn't anticipate my husband getting hurt and retiring early from the Army so we kept our family size at 4. To be honest, I would probably go down in children (I swear I love them equally) before I went up (because I'd rather jump off a very tall building than have more), but our bigger reason was that traveling and moving as a family of 4 is way, way easier than a family of 5. Even Disney World---since it's been brought up and I just got home from doing 7 miles in the parks today---is a game changer at 5 because your hotel options are more restricted. 

[yogi2014L]

9 minutes ago, Loves2Dance said:

Not only do children travel all of the time, but I think this comes down to parenting philosophy. I was one of those moms who cringed when she heard her child cry, baby wore because it made them happy, nursed way longer than I ever wanted to and engaged with them when they were awake. But, and this is a huge but, my life didn't stop just because theirs were born. My oldest travels more in the first 18 months of her life than most Americans do in their lifetime courtesy of living overseas. She slept for 12 hours a night from the time she was 3 months old on, unless she was teething or going through sleep regressions. She went to vineyards, tulip gardens, cathedrals, castles, tours...etc, you name it and I was doing it. I am a firm believer in fitting children into your life, not bending yours to fit them. I applaud Jinger and Jeremy for appearing to have that same philosophy. We cater to our children way, way, way too much these days and I'm a Millennial who thinks most of my peers have gone mad when it comes to child rearing. 

I just read your post after I posted mine, and laughed at how opposite we are! I literally am a recluse unless we can fit the activity within her nap window. But my daughter never was a good sleeper and even as a newborn barely slept if there was ANY stimulation. I remember one day when she was 1 month old ( I am not exaggerating ) she was up for 8 HOURS!!!  Some kids can sleep on the go and are fine being out and about, mine is not! To each their own :-) 

 

To me, Jinger's life sounds exhausting with all that travel, but she probably feels like she is on a permanent vacation because she only has one non mobile baby to keep track of.

Edited December 3, 2018 by yogi2014L

[Scarlett45]

8 minutes ago, Loves2Dance said:

We didn't anticipate my husband getting hurt and retiring early from the Army so we kept our family size at 4. To be honest, I would probably go down in children (I swear I love them equally) before I went up (because I'd rather jump off a very tall building than have more), but our bigger reason was that traveling and moving as a family of 4 is way, way easier than a family of 5. Even Disney World---since it's been brought up and I just got home from doing 7 miles in the parks today---is a game changer at 5 because your hotel options are more restricted. 

Have fun! Disney World is my most favorite place. On my 30th bday I logged in 33k steps and closed down magic kingdom. Yes I did. 😁

[Christina87]

1 minute ago, Scarlett45 said:

Have fun! Disney World is my most favorite place. On my 30th bday I logged in 33k steps and closed down magic kingdom. Yes I did. 😁

My favorite place too!!! Have you ever been on a Disney cruise? I recently discovered that joy. 😃

[Loves2Dance]

18 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

Have fun! Disney World is my most favorite place. On my 30th bday I logged in 33k steps and closed down magic kingdom. Yes I did. 😁

Disney World is my happy place. We have annual passes and go 5-6 times a month. We are doing a week next month. 

 

17 minutes ago, Christina87 said:

My favorite place too!!! Have you ever been on a Disney cruise? I recently discovered that joy. 😃

Yes! 

[bythelake]

5 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

I agree with you and @TVFAN. Jeremy (and Jinger) will raise Felicity steeped in Christian patriarchy, but they will want to lead a less isolated life than Jinger lead. I do not believe Jeremy would EVER mistreat Jinger or Felicity (i.e. physical, verbal or sexual abuse of any kind), but HE is in charge of he household because HE is a man and that’s that. Women are lesser beings in need of men to guide them and assist them in reaching a godly lifestyle.

 

As far as him being controlling, he likely doesn’t bother controlling things that aren’t of interest to him-for example he isn’t telling Jinger how much makeup she can wear or what color nail polish- I think Jinger decides those things for herself, and he’s fine to let her chose how to decorate the home (I.e. women’s things)but on doctrine and lifestyle principles things are HIS way, because he’s a man. I would bet he tells her how much she can spend on groceries and clothes, not a discussion of their financial goals and budget but a decree of she can have X dollars to run the house and X dollars of pocket money etc.

Now given that Felicity will have more access to “the outside world” than Jinger had, if Christian patriarchy isn’t her thing she will have logistical (i.e. an education) and emotional (ie- a sense of self as an individual) options to leave. 

The thing is,Jeremy encourages Jinjer to dress well because it makes him look good. He’s not going to have some frumpy fundie on his arm.

What he hasn’t done is encourage her to learn. Remember “Jeremy likes books, so I like books”? Has Jinjer done anything to broaden her knowledge? She had lots of time before the baby to take an adult ed. class or two.

His mother is educated and has her own interests, why would he pick someone with a sotdrt education? Control. 

I think Jinjer is a sweet girl, and seems to be a great mother, but she’s been trained by her parents to put her feelings aside and be an adoring,compliant Stepford wife.

Jeremy is an opportunist who wanted someone young and naive enough to be molded into what he wanted and as a plus had the Duggar name.

I may be totally off base, but I guess time will tell.

[Marigold]

@bythelake

I agree with you. I really believe they love each other and Jeremy is good for Jinger.  Their posts with Felicity are cute and I'm happy Jinger is in a better place with the Holy Goalie. 

BUT.  He is a fame whore and likes to be in charge.  JereME loves JereME. 

[Jynnan tonnix]

9 hours ago, bythelake said:

The thing is,Jeremy encourages Jinjer to dress well because it makes him look good. He’s not going to have some frumpy fundie on his arm.

What he hasn’t done is encourage her to learn. Remember “Jeremy likes books, so I like books”? Has Jinjer done anything to broaden her knowledge? She had lots of time before the baby to take an adult ed. class or two.

His mother is educated and has her own interests, why would he pick someone with a sotdrt education? Control. 

I think Jinjer is a sweet girl, and seems to be a great mother, but she’s been trained by her parents to put her feelings aside and be an adoring,compliant Stepford wife.

Jeremy is an opportunist who wanted someone young and naive enough to be molded into what he wanted and as a plus had the Duggar name.

I may be totally off base, but I guess time will tell.

Maybe Jinger has or will take up reading books on her own to broaden her knowledge. Although anything around their house is more likely to be connected with Jer's aspirations toward ministry. I don't suppose she has a library card. But if she did, or even if she found some classics she could read or even listen to online (they are available for free if you look around), she could learn a great deal on her own. I've personally always enjoyed learning by my own devices much more than going to school, which I pretty much loathed for the most part. Luckily I DID always love reading (which I somehow picked up when I was about four), so that helped a lot.

[QuinnInND]

You all want to see people cringe when you walk in? Walk in with twin babies/toddlers.  My twins are very well behaved, but they're little people with feelings, and have bad days too. I've had to scurry out of Target, or the commissary because they were having a meltdown.  On the other hand, we flew to Houston last spring when they were just 2 and some people didn't realize they were on the planes.  A lot of it depends on how you handle them and how you discipline them.  If you let them run wild, then you have problems.  

Topic? As much as my girls love their headbands, I showed them the pic of Felicity in her turban. They said she's cute, but declared the turban "wierd". I agree. 

[xwordfanatik]

I agree with whomever posted that the turban thing reminded her of an old lady, mahjong playing, chain-smoking, etc.  I could get a mental picture of that!

Yep, Jer is in charge, and meek Jin won't ever cross him.  Not abusive, but controlling (which some might consider abusive?)  My daughter is not into being controlled, and her first long-term relationship ended because of that very issue.  Jer chose what he wanted.

[bythelake]

4 hours ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

Maybe Jinger has or will take up reading books on her own to broaden her knowledge. Although anything around their house is more likely to be connected with Jer's aspirations toward ministry. I don't suppose she has a library card. But if she did, or even if she found some classics she could read or even listen to online (they are available for free if you look around), she could learn a great deal on her own. I've personally always enjoyed learning by my own devices much more than going to school, which I pretty much loathed for the most part. Luckily I DID always love reading (which I somehow picked up when I was about four), so that helped a lot.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if Jinjer had a library card? It would open up  her world, but I’m afraid her choices would have to meet with spousal approval.

There are many authors that write Christian novels. Jan Karon has a whole series on Fr. Timothy, a retired Episcopal priest. Beverly Lewis, has books about the Amish. Both authors are not too preachy, and you won’t see a dirty word or sexual situation.

I was an only child, read constantly and still do.The only things I don’t like are science fiction and supernatural stories with ghosts etc. Give me a good murder mystery and I’ll disappear for days.

Maybe, when Felicity is old enough to attend story hour, Jinjer will realize what she’s been missing. Then, if she did get a library card, I would recommend  one of my favorite classics, Anna Karenina. It’s got sex, infidelity and suicide. Her head would explode.

[leighdear]

19 hours ago, BitterApple said:

Thank God for the coffee, otherwise the crowd wouldn't have been able to stay awake. And I'm using the word "crowd" very generously.

Looks like Jeremy's found his niche, using his Duggar affiliation to flit around and preach on someone else's dime. 

All priests/ministers/pastors preach on somebody else's dime.   They're all subsidized, as are nuns.  He's just one of many. 

But he's the only one in THIS family smart enough to use that to his advantage, and make an actual living at is.  He loves to preach, and he seems to be making his wfe and daughter very happy. 

And he provides them with a nice lifestyle totally separate from Dugger Enterprises.  

[Jynnan tonnix]

17 minutes ago, bythelake said:

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if Jinjer had a library card? It would open up  her world, but I’m afraid her choices would have to meet with spousal approval.

There are many authors that write Christian novels. Jan Karon has a whole series on Fr. Timothy, a retired Episcopal priest. Beverly Lewis, has books about the Amish. Both authors are not too preachy, and you won’t see a dirty word or sexual situation.

I was an only child, read constantly and still do.The only things I don’t like are science fiction and supernatural stories with ghosts etc. Give me a good murder mystery and I’ll disappear for days.

Maybe, when Felicity is old enough to attend story hour, Jinjer will realize what she’s been missing. Then, if she did get a library card, I would recommend  one of my favorite classics, Anna Karenina. It’s got sex, infidelity and suicide. Her head would explode.

I love how we are all so different! I love fantasy and supernatural themes, but have never met a murder mystery I could get through without either getting lost or bored. Mainly, though, I like to read non-fiction. I enjoy biographies/autobiographies, and, also, lately, have been down a rabbit hole of atheist writings.

[Totally]

16 hours ago, yogi2014L said:

I just read your post after I posted mine, and laughed at how opposite we are! I literally am a recluse unless we can fit the activity within her nap window. But my daughter never was a good sleeper and even as a newborn barely slept if there was ANY stimulation. I remember one day when she was 1 month old ( I am not exaggerating ) she was up for 8 HOURS!!!  Some kids can sleep on the go and are fine being out and about, mine is not! To each their own :-) 

 

To me, Jinger's life sounds exhausting with all that travel, but she probably feels like she is on a permanent vacation because she only has one non mobile baby to keep track of.

You must have the twin to my son. Even at 7 he is a rubbish sleeper. I work nights so my husband gets the joy of any nocturnal needs 😐

[Nysha]

There was talk on Jessa's board about how she's wasting the opportunity to translate her thousands of followers into a business adventure with books, calendars, and other Christiany stuff. I'm kind of surprised that Jeremy and Jinger haven't tapped into that market. "A New Mother's Bible Study/Journal", daily Bible verses from your pastor's wife, young married couple's guide to whatever...there are endless possibilities.

[Love2dance]

17 hours ago, Loves2Dance said:

Disney World is my happy place. We have annual passes and go 5-6 times a month. We are doing a week next month. 

 

Oh man, I am so jealous! Have a wonderful time!

[Jeanne222]

18 hours ago, Churchhoney said:

This is one I hadn't heard before. He's getting quite a bit better, actually .... I was still bored. But he's definitely been working on it. .... And I don't know that Oliver Twist is a parable. Nor do I really see his point.... or maybe his thousands of points? but hey... 

https://www.gcclaredo.com/

Thank you.  Hummm.  He uses a lot of big words but seems to really know his material.  I would suggest to him he stop looking down because I don't think he has too.  Losing the podium  and speaking his truth in a kind simplest way.   He's too dressed up and two preachy for me.  He just didn't 'touch me' with his preaching.  Something is missing. 

[SMama]

Humility?

[Churchhoney]

1 hour ago, Jeanne222 said:

Thank you.  Hummm.  He uses a lot of big words but seems to really know his material.  I would suggest to him he stop looking down because I don't think he has too.  Losing the podium  and speaking his truth in a kind simplest way.   He's too dressed up and two preachy for me.  He just didn't 'touch me' with his preaching.  Something is missing. 

Yep. I agree with this assessment! It's the way it seems to me, too. 

What's much better now than it has been is his delivery -- Previously he had maybe the most droning monotone I've ever heard in a speaker, pastor or otherwise. No expression in his voice at all. So he sounded even less like a human being. And since his sermons all seem to be between 40 and 60 minutes long -- Yikes. Seems like his course work must be pushing him in a better direction, deliverywise, at any rate.

Besides the sort of over-preachy detached thing, too, I have yet to hear anything I'd call a coherent message from him. It just always sounds like a grab bag of what he's learned and heard about whatever the topic is. Delivered without any real structure or any thought to communicating something in particular to listeners. Not sure how far you can get in his chosen profession without actually communicating anything. I just imagine a lot of people walking away going, Huh? .... 

... Of course that may happen more AFTER the Duggs get off of TeeVee and few people are starstruck by the Duggar connection any longer. I think he'd better up his game considerably before then. 

Edited December 3, 2018 by Churchhoney

[Lunera]

I wonder how much they got paid for the church gig and ad.

[GeeGolly]

Jeremy did hit the gold mine in finding Jinger and attaching himself to her 'fame'. And maybe he wanted a wife who will stare adoringly at him. I think, however, Jeremy will tire of a partner who never has an opinion and who will always blindly go where he goes. He was part of the mainstream for many years and has examples of healthy, happy women who are their own persons to compare Jinger to, which makes me think he might encourage some independence if Jinger is not finding it on her own.

I'm hoping that Jinger's less than sweet attitude during the episode where they babysat their friends' kids wasn't just overtired and queasy pregnancy symptoms. I hope she has a voice and uses it.

Edited December 4, 2018 by GeeGolly

[Christina87]

11 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Jeremy did hit the gold mine in finding Jinger and attaching himself to her 'fame'. And maybe he wanted a wife who will stare adoringly at him. I think, however, Jeremy will tire of a partner who never has an opinion and who will always blindly go where he goes. He was part of the mainstream for many years and has examples of healthy, happy women who are their own persons to compare Jinger to, which makes me think he might encourage some independence if Jinger is not finding it on her own.

I'm hoping that Jinger's less than sweet attitude during the episode where they babysat their friends' kids wasn't just overtired and queasy pregnancy symptoms. I hope she has a voice and uses it.

 

I agree. I wonder how much Jeremy thought this through. I have no doubt that he loves Jinger, but just loving someone you have known for a few months isn't necessarily a reason to get married. I'm soooo glad I didn't marry my late teens / early twenties boyfriend, whom I was with for four years, and crazy about the whole time. As I get older and date more, the gravity that marriage is forever is really making an impression. I look back at guys I was in long term relationships with and loved very much, and can't imagine not having the personal growth I had after our breakup. I feel like finding someone who truly shares your goals, and isn't either pretending to want to settle down, or just in total opposition, will make it easier, since they are open to growing with you, and committed to staying even if your interests don't always align. However, I'm not even sure Jeremy shares the values that Jinger thought he did while courting, but she won't ever make an issue of them, probably.

So I do definitely think Jeremy loves Jinger, but most of us have loved a few people that we haven't married. What will things be like in twenty years when there is no fame, both of them are losing their good looks, and Jeremy's trying to figure out how to finance college for the kids (hopefully) and retire on a very small salary. Jinger will not be any help, with her limited skills, and he might wish at that point that he had married someone who brought more to the table than the ability to gaze adoringly and always "keep sweet." He might wish he'd married the woman with the engineering degree who could get a good job when he expressed his concerns, instead of smiling, patting him on the arm, and saying, "you'll figure it all out, babe." If Jeremy were a breadwinner, I would feel slightly differently, but even then, he would be stuck with someone who has little intellectual curiosity. Jinger has no clue about the value of a dollar, and Jeremy doesn't seem to have any career path ahead of him that is lucrative. Not only that, but he clearly enjoys the upper middle class lifestyle. When a mid-forties Jinger suggests shopping at the thrift store instead of Brooks Brothers to save money, he may wish he'd married someone else who was accustomed to his lifestyle, and would rather work a professional job than shop at a thrift store. Of course, planning doesn't seem to be his strong suit anyway, since he also could have trained for a more lucrative career, given his upper crust aspirational lifestyle. Even now, he's spending money going BACK to school for conservative preaching, when he could be finishing that MBA.

Also, certainly he's had girlfriends before Jinger, who were likely educated and more worldly. He may have even loved some of them. Why was "love" enough to commit to Jinger so quickly, even with the D-list reality TV fame that might last for ten years, tops? Not like divorce is acceptable in their world, either. I like Jinger, and certainly don't want to imply that she's unlovable or unworthy of her marriage, but she may have been better suited to a less (pseudo?) intellectual guy in the long run. I could totally see her with a Bin type who had a good, high-earning blue collar job. Some plumbers and electricians can make six figures, and I could see Jinger doing very well with someone like that, who could comfortably afford to let her stay home, without her limited job skills ever becoming an issue. This type of guy would more likely be fulfilled with surface level conversations, too. I could see Jeremy with a conservative girl who went to college, but also believed in having a career (like his mother), since he doesn't seem capable of supporting a family in the style he's used to singlehandedly. It seems like they're a good match in the short term, when money is no object and everyone fawns over them, but Jeremy maybe should have thought more about the long run.

Edited December 4, 2018 by Christina87

[GeeGolly]

38 minutes ago, Christina87 said:

I agree. I wonder how much Jeremy thought this through. I have no doubt that he loves Jinger, but just loving someone you have known for a few months isn't necessarily a reason to get married. I'm soooo glad I didn't marry my late teens / early twenties boyfriend, whom I was with for four years, and crazy about the whole time. As I get older and date more, the gravity that marriage is forever is really making an impression. I look back at guys I was in long term relationships with and loved very much, and can't imagine not having the personal growth I had after our breakup. I feel like finding someone who truly shares your goals, and isn't either pretending to want to settle down, or just in total opposition, will make it easier, since they are open to growing with you, and committed to staying even if your interests don't always align. However, I'm not even sure Jeremy shares the values that Jinger thought he did while courting, but she won't ever make an issue of them, probably.

So I do definitely think Jeremy loves Jinger, but most of us have loved a few people that we haven't married. What will things be like in twenty years when there is no fame, both of them are losing their good looks, and Jeremy's trying to figure out how to finance college for the kids (hopefully) and retire on a very small salary. Jinger will not be any help, with her limited skills, and he might wish at that point that he had married someone who brought more to the table than the ability to gaze adoringly and always "keep sweet." He might wish he'd married the woman with the engineering degree who could get a good job when he expressed his concerns, instead of smiling, patting him on the arm, and saying, "you'll figure it all out, babe." If Jeremy were a breadwinner, I would feel slightly differently, but even then, he would be stuck with someone who has little intellectual curiosity. Jinger has no clue about the value of a dollar, and Jeremy doesn't seem to have any career path ahead of him that is lucrative. Not only that, but he clearly enjoys the upper middle class lifestyle. When a mid-forties Jinger suggests shopping at the thrift store instead of Brooks Brothers to save money, he may wish he'd married someone else who was accustomed to his lifestyle, and would rather work a professional job than shop at a thrift store. Of course, planning doesn't seem to be his strong suit anyway, since he also could have trained for a more lucrative career, given his upper crust aspirational lifestyle. Even now, he's spending money going BACK to school for conservative preaching, when he could be finishing that MBA.

Also, certainly he's had girlfriends before Jinger, who were likely educated and more worldly. He may have even loved some of them. Why was "love" enough to commit to Jinger so quickly, even with the D-list reality TV fame that might last for ten years, tops? Not like divorce is acceptable in their world, either. I like Jinger, and certainly don't want to imply that she's unlovable or unworthy of her marriage, but she may have been better suited to a less (pseudo?) intellectual guy in the long run. I could totally see her with a Bin type who had a good, high-earning blue collar job. Some plumbers and electricians can make six figures, and I could see Jinger doing very well with someone like that, who could comfortably afford to let her stay home, without her limited job skills ever becoming an issue. This type of guy would more likely be fulfilled with surface level conversations, too. I could see Jeremy with a conservative girl who went to college, but also believed in having a career (like his mother), since he doesn't seem capable of supporting a family in the style he's used to singlehandedly. It seems like they're a good match in the short term, when money is no object and everyone fawns over them, but Jeremy maybe should have thought more about the long run.

I partnered (and eventually married - still married) young by today's standards - very early 20s. My children on the other hand are unmarried with 2 engagements that ended in break-ups. Both engagements were started in their early 20s, one ending after 3 years together, 2 of those years engaged, 1 of those years living together and the other ended after 7 years, 3 of those years engaged, 3 years living together. 

So, I guess I'm using these examples to say marital success is a crap shoot, however I would tend to think getting to really know someone before committing your life to them increases the odds of a successful and happy forever marriage. I'm thinking Jing and Jer are in it for the long haul. How many of their years together will be filled with happiness and compatibility is anyone's guess.

[DragonFaerie]

Ok, I just really don't get that little church in the coffee shop pulling Jeremy up to preach to them.  In the photo is looks like there's maybe 20-25 folks in the church.  From the "preachers" I know, I'm guessing the church paid for Jeremy's travel expenses and from that kitchen perhaps one of the parishoners put them up while they were there.  But I googled air fare from Laredo to Dallas and it was $366 per ticket on American.  So that's $732.  Add in, most likely a checked suitcase for the 3 of them and that's like what another $25 or so?  So let's just say $750 just for travel and then if someone took them out to dinner or something?  $750/25 means that everyone would need to pony up at least $30 for them to come.  Wouldn't that money have been better spent in the community?  Take the $750 and buy food for a local food bank or use it to buy toys for tots or buy gifts for seniors in nursing homes that don't have family or donate it to a local animal shelter????  

It's one thing that bugs me about many of the churches my mom or my childhood friends were involved in.  They didn't do anything for the community that they lived in.  

Edited December 4, 2018 by DragonFaerie
Because there is such as a thing as past tense and apostrophes matter

[GeeGolly]

3 minutes ago, DragonFaerie said:

Ok, I just really don't get that little church in the coffee shop pulling Jeremy up to preach to them.  In the photo is looks like there's maybe 20-25 folks in the church.  From the "preachers" I know, I'm guessing the church paid for Jeremy's travel expenses and from that kitchen perhaps one of the parishoners put them up while they were there.  But I google air fare from Laredo to Dallas and it was $366 per ticket on American.  So that's $732.  Add in, most likely a checked suitcase for the 3 of them and that's like what another $25 or so?  So let's just say $750 just for travel and then if someone took them out to dinner or something?  $750/25 means that everyone would need to pony up at least $30 for them to come.  Wouldn't that money have been better spent in the community?  Take the $750 and buy food for a local food bank or use it to buy toys for tots or buy gifts for seniors in nursing homes that don't have family or donate it to a local animal shelter????  

It's one thing that bugs me about many of the churches my mom or my childhood friends were involved in.  They didnt' do anything for the community that they lived in.  

So true. However, I might throw in $30 to sit in the back of a coffee house for an hour out of rubber-necking curiosity if Jinger and Jeremy came to town. And lets hope this folks did both, footed the Fundy travel and are donating for a good cause this holiday season.

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, Christina87 said:

I wonder how much Jeremy thought this through. I have no doubt that he loves Jinger, but just loving someone you have known for a few months isn't necessarily a reason to get married. I'm soooo glad I didn't marry my late teens / early twenties boyfriend, whom I was with for four years, and crazy about the whole time. As I get older and date more, the gravity that marriage is forever is really making an impression. I look back at guys I was in long term relationships with and loved very much, and can't imagine not having the personal growth I had after our breakup. I feel like finding someone who truly shares your goals, and isn't either pretending to want to settle down, or just in total opposition, will make it easier, since they are open to growing with you, and committed to staying even if your interests don't always align. However, I'm not even sure Jeremy shares the values that Jinger thought he did while courting, but she won't ever make an issue of them, probably.

I think that Jeremy (upon deciding he wanted to marry) went looking for a young woman who was Christian, virginal, not terribly ambitious or professionally inclined with whom he was sexually attracted and enjoyed their company. I think he succeeded in his quest.

I don’t think Jeremy (or Jinger) went into marriage looking for a grand romantic passion or true love/a soul mate (a problem many mainstream people have), I think they went into marriage looking for someone that shared their lifestyle/beliefs, who made a pleasant companion, and whom they felt would adequately meet their needs for partnered sex (a level of sexual attraction is considered). 

@Jynnan tonnix, not to put you on the spot, but you’ve mentioned not being “in love” with your husband, although you seem to have a very satisfying and healthy relationship. Maybe you considered those characteristics when you decided to marry Mr. Jynnan? 

For the record I don’t consider Jeremy’s approach wrong (of all my criticisms that’s not one)- many people look for a spouse and never think of these very important things! They are being driven by their emotions at the time rather than building the life they want to lead. 

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, Christina87 said:

It seems like they're a good match in the short term, when money is no object and everyone fawns over them, but Jeremy maybe should have thought more about the long run.

I quoted this second part because I DO wonder how they will continue to support their lifestyle. I don’t see Jeremy having any sort of hustle and grind that JB had in the early days or Austin has now. 

[MORGANH]

I suspect Jeremy will stay with Jinger for a bit longer. He’s already got 2 people that are In love with him and adore him...

[Temperance]

19 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

I quoted this second part because I DO wonder how they will continue to support their lifestyle. I don’t see Jeremy having any sort of hustle and grind that JB had in the early days or Austin has now. 

JB had hustle? 

[Scarlett45]

1 minute ago, Temperance said:

JB had hustle? 

He did. He worked several jobs, sold real estate, worked long hours. In the years before they had josh up through when Jill was born (I think) he and Michelle worked together selling real estate. JB was not a lazy man in his younger years.....I think he instilled drive in JD and Joe, the rest of the boys know knows. 

[Christina87]

6 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

I quoted this second part because I DO wonder how they will continue to support their lifestyle. I don’t see Jeremy having any sort of hustle and grind that JB had in the early days or Austin has now. 

I'm really starting to wonder if the Vuolos have some serious family money that we don't know about. Jeremy's parents look very upscale, and he seems very much like he would have been from my socioeconomic bracket growing up. However, his father is a non-denominational pastor, and his mother runs a nonprofit. They are both highly educated, cultured, and established in their fields, but I know so many families that fit that description who fall into the solid lower middle class territory.

For instance, I had a good friend in college whose father was a music professor who studied at Yale, and her mother was a music teacher. They lived in a small house that was filled with Mozart, and rang with discussions of philosophy and psychology. In a lot of ways, her household seemed more upper class than mine, though my parents made a whole lot more money. However, though they were extremely cultured, they just flat out didn't have the money for Brooks Brothers and Banana Republic...nor did they honestly seem to mind. My boyfriend and I at the time were both children of doctors, and we lived a very different lifestyle. My friend would often decline to go to nice restaurants with us (though we offered to pay), and her clothes mainly came from Rue 21 or Target. She definitely did not have the upbringing Jeremy seems to have had. Beyond his appearance, his whole attitude towards money has also been so relaxed. If my friend had been planning to marry someone whom she would fully support, and the person's father had said, "they have an expensive thrift store shopping habit...maybe you should get a second job!" she would have said, "wait, what? Like...how expensive are we talking here?" Jeremy just self-assuredly said thrift store shopping wasn't expensive with a laugh, like I would expect from someone who had shopped at high end stores their whole life without a second thought. I know he could have been embarrassed to talk about his finances on TV, or sure TLC money was coming along, but it didn't feel like that to me. He didn't even think about it, or bat an eye. Plus, we know his mother was able to homeschool them. If his father was a small-time pastor, that would have been hard, and he would not have had a moneyed upbringing...unless they had family money padding their pockets.

The point is, Jeremy and his family are a whole lot more like my ex-boyfriend and his family than my friend's, rich in ideals and culture but not rich in money. Jeremy doesn't strike me as new money at all, attracted to TLC wealth; he acts like he has lived this way his whole life. His parents present themselves as upper class, both in appearance and demeanor. I wouldn't be shocked to find out that they had mass multi-generational wealth, and that is why they don't seem particularly concerned about Jeremy's earning potential. To an outsider, Jeremy training for a field that is low earning and taking on a wife with zero earning potential doesn't seem smart when he clearly has a preferred background / lifestyle that doesn't jibe with this plan. If we were to find out he'd inherit a few million dollars one day, that would literally explain everything!

[Scarlett45]

@Christina87 you are so right. There could very well be a family trust that Jeremy has access to, and only requires minimal things to remain a beneficiary (like graduating from college and being 25). Granted Jeremy wasn’t living “high on the hog” in his little apartment in Laredo, but again he didn’t make much either. 

[RedheadZombie]

14 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Jeremy did hit the gold mine in finding Jinger and attaching himself to her 'fame'. And maybe he wanted a wife who will stare adoringly at him. I think, however, Jeremy will tire of a partner who never has an opinion and who will always blindly go where he goes. He was part of the mainstream for many years and has examples of healthy, happy women who are their own persons to compare Jinger to, which makes me think he might encourage some independence if Jinger is not finding it on her own.

I'm hoping that Jinger's less than sweet attitude during the episode where they babysat their friends' kids wasn't just overtired and queasy pregnancy symptoms. I hope she has a voice and uses it.

There's a couple of posters over on the DuggarsSnark subreddit who claim to have known Jeremy, and talk of his history of prolific cheating.  One even says he had a side piece for sex leading up to his marriage to Jinger.  I'm not sure what to think on the matter, but thought I would mention it.

[Scarlett45]

28 minutes ago, RedheadZombie said:

There's a couple of posters over on the DuggarsSnark subreddit who claim to have known Jeremy, and talk of his history of prolific cheating.  One even says he had a side piece for sex leading up to his marriage to Jinger.  I'm not sure what to think on the matter, but thought I would mention it.

Oh I don’t think Jeremy was being celibate all these years after “finding the lord”. I firmly believe he had a fuck buddy during he and Jinger’s courtship. Now I can believe that he didn’t lie to that woman or lead her on, but he wasn’t twiddling his thumbs until the wedding night. 

[DangerousMinds]

I wonder if Jinger knew about that!