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S20.E08: Week 8


OnceSane
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His name’s Ben Patton, hers is Joelle Fletcher.  The mismatching surnames were never mentioned and therefore never explained but perhaps it’s another case of blended families?

 

Before the season I went through several articles until I found an explanation. Matt and Ben are Soraya's (JoJo's mom) sons from her first marriage. After her divorce from Mr. Patton, she married Mr. Fletcher and had Joelle. I think the other daughter is also a Fletcher.

  • Love 8
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I'm not saying that everyone's life is the same but I think everyone would agree with young children long absences are not in the their best interest. Amanda seems to love her girls but I think she's got a warped sense of the real world and dating from thinking she can find what her and her girls need on a dating show.

 

Yes--I couldn't help but be taken aback when Amanda's mother made a comment about how Amanda's life is impacted by always putting her kids first, right smack in the middle of what is clearly the least convincing episode of "putting your kids first" that is going on The Bachelor.

 

Ben was definitely not ready to be a dad to two young girls, and I think he realized it immediately. Even his comments about the situation seemed off--repeatedly saying they had a "long day" (a few hours at the beach? really?), justifying his ability to be a dad by saying he had fun with the girls (nice, but not even remotely what being a dad is about), and best of all, his comment that his immediate response was "okay," when Amanda told him about her kids without any comment on having further reflection on what it would take on his part and what lifestyle changes he was willing to make to date a woman with two very young children. It's just a shame for Amanda that the reality of the situation never hit him until he saw it play out. Unless, of course, she's selected as the next Bachelorette, in which case I guess she'll get something out of being dragged this far along.

 

I agree that Caila somehow seems a bit "off"--like everything is a performance, or like she's summoning what she's been told human emotions look like but keeps over or under shooting it. I liked her mom a lot, but her dad seemed odd. Also almost over-rehearsed in his presentation.

 

Interesting how both Caila and Jojo's moms were so encouraging, though Jojo's mom seemed like she was on another planet. I was really rubbed the wrong way by Jojo's mom telling her "You won't get hurt; you're beautiful." First of all--she's on the Bachelor, so the chances she'll get hurt are high. Second of all, what an odd way to try to build your kid's self worth. Mama Jojo really didn't seem to understand the show and seemed innocently confused when told there were three other girls still in the mix. 

 

Jojo's brothers were over the top and ridiculous, but I do think her brother had a good point about how the psychology of the situation (all the women competing for one "desired" man) impacts and clouds the girls' perceptions of how they truly feel for him. He was also not incorrect in pointing out that Jojo had only been on two dates with the guy, when push came to shove.

  • Love 15
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I don't always agree with people who look down on those who have children and choose to go on a reality show, mainly because I don't know their situation and would like to think they have either trusted family members or the other parent to care for their children while they are away.  However, I CAN side eye someone who introduces said children to someone who is not even a guarantee steady figure in their life.  It's even worse that it was done on national television.

I can certainly see there may be exceptions to leaving your children for a extended period as in work, military,,etc and even then I would have reservations and it wouldn't be easy. To go on a tv dating show, no. I think that's what people are objecting too and most reasonable people know the difference.

  • Love 8
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I wonder if they paid Chad to record his own voice-over while JoJo was reading his letter, or if they had a minion do it.  Poor guy couldn't do the confrontation in person, so I'll bet he was bummed.  But he still gets free PR, so that's a bonus. 

 

Can toddlers really be so emotionally traumatized by playing on the beach for a few hours with mommy, grandma and mommy's new friend?  Even if there are a few camera people around to film it?  Aren't most kids these days surrounded by family members snapping, shooting, filming and posting every second of their children's lives?  Because according to my Facebook feed, there are damn sure a lot of them.  

 

Ben & Amanda weren't having sex in front of them, it didn't even look as if there was any physical contact while the girls were around.  It was a public beach in the middle of the day.  Playing in the sand, a few snacks, a juice box or two, then back to Grandma & Grandpa's house.  It had to be close to the beach, because it was still daylight when they got there.  The kids were whisked away almost instantly, so I really don't see how they were so damaged by that date. If they even remember it.  Because by now, I'm betting neither one remember anything about that guy.  

 

Loved JoJo's mom chugging from the bottle.  That's definitely something a guy looks for in his future mother-in-law.  Is she seriously a medical doctor?  

 

Caila's whole family was adorable.  And her father is exceptionally accomplished:

 

 

STREETSBORO: Step2’s new CEO has lived all over the world, most recently in Boston, but his ties to Northeast Ohio and Akron are deep.
Chris Quinn, 50, was named to the top spot of the Streetsboro-based toy company Jan. 12. He most recently served as executive vice president for North America for New Balance Athletic, where he worked for six years. He also has held senior roles within Procter & Gamble with the Folgers brand (before it was sold to Orrville-based J.M. Smucker Co.); Mars Inc.; and the Clorox Co.

That definitely explains why the family moved around so much.  But as far as ties go, I think having family ties is even more important than having community ties.  At least she knows how to deal with a sibling, which Ben has no concept of.  He may have grown up and lived in the same place for many years, but I think that is pretty insignificant within a committed relationship.  

Edited by leighdear
  • Love 3
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Loved JoJo's mom chugging from the bottle.  That's definitely something a guy looks for in his future mother-in-law.  Is she seriously a medical doctor?  

 

Nine out of ten doctors recommend that you watch The Bachelor while swigging wine out of a bottle........

  • Love 22
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I think it's telling that his main reason for liking JoJo is "I'm more myself with her than with anyone else." Not that that's unimportant, but it's such a friend-zone thing to say, and doesn't make mention of any of JoJo's own qualities. He has never seemed the least bit smitten with her, and truly, she doesn't strike me as all that smitten with him either.

  • Love 6
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Understood, Armchair.  But when you have entire TV networks devoted to filming children, shows like "America's Funniest Home Videos" that feature children, and dozens of reality shows that include many, many children, it's difficult for somebody like me to see all the fuss.  The last toddler I raised is now 31, so I guess we worried about much different things back then.

  • Love 4
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I wonder if Amanda needed her ex's consent for her children to be on TV. If I were him I would have said no way.  It also rubbed me the wrong way the way she and her parents trashed the ex. Those kids will grow up one day and see what you had to say about their father on television, while choosing to be away for six weeks chasing some stranger named Ben who sent you home that week.

 

The ex might be the biggest deadbeat in the world, but Amanda chose to marry him and had not one but two children with him, so it reflects on her judgment also.

  • Love 16
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Jojo's entire segment seemed to me to be over-acted, like everyone had memorized a script or was reading off cue cards.

 

I thought the same thing!  Right from the get-go they seemed very "on" and aware of the cameras.  It was very showy.

 

I am wondering though - all of the teasers are about Ben being in love with two women - I wonder which two?  I absolutely believe one of them is Lauren - but i am having a hard time figuring out who the other one could be between Calia and JoJo.  I just do not see love there between either one. 

 

Re: Calia moving - her Dad has obviously moved around a lot for work.  He's a CEO, so they have a very comfortable lifestyle.  When you are at that level and companies are paying you to relocate, this is a very cush way of life, and while she does not have hometown roots, this is a well-to-do family.

  • Love 2
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A past Bachelorette contestant (I can't remember who) tweeted last night that once you're accepted to be a contestant, you have to give production the phone numbers of all ex-significant others. I imagine that's how/why the letter and roses from Chad miraculously showed up on JoJo's front steps the day she was filming her hometown date.

  • Love 4
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Oh, I could see that (re: Chad). But I also wondered if the brothers had given him a heads-up. It was weird that JoJo let them set it up so we could hear him so clearly. I'm assuming the producers had to get his consent to be recorded--a communication among all of them that, of course, we never got to see. 

 

Thanks for the info about Caila's family. I had no idea a CEO would need to move so much. 14 times is pretty brutal once a child's in school (12 years, right? So averaging more than once a grade). I guess there's no mystery then, but I would think even if you had a "Filipino community" connection, it wouldn't mean much to a child if it's always new people.

 

I'm guessing the "other love" is Caila, since he didn't tell JoJo's brothers anything close to that when they pressed him. But I don't see that at all in their relationship. I'm a little disappointed that he has a genuine F2 when it seemed so obvious to me that he prefers Lauren over everyone.

  • Love 2
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I know it's been mentioned before, but the whole "Amanda and I's" thing makes me want to stab someone. Ben went to elementary, middle school and high school, didn't he? And college? And nowhere did he learn the correct use of pronouns?

*teacher voice* Now, Ben. You know better. What did you learn in school? Remove the other person from the sentence and then say it. OK. Would you ever say "I's relationship?" "I's job?" "I's hope for the future?" No, you would not. You would say "my relationship" or "my job" or "my hope for the future."

Now take yourself out of the sentence. Would you say "Amanda relationship?" No, you would say "Amanda's relationship."

So what would be correct here? That's right. "Amanda's and my relationship is" . . . whatever. Or if that's too complicated for you, you can say "my relationship with Amanda" or "our relationship."

But say "I's" one more time, and I will climb through the screen and smack you over the head with Warriner's English Usage.

Next week - correct use of I, me, he, she, him, her, myself, herself!

Edited by Ketzel
  • Love 22
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I actually think JoJo's hometown date, as horrific as it was, helped her secure the next bachelorette role. I had no doubt before this that she would get the gig, but after the family amped it up big time for the cameras, there's no way producers would let this one go for "the most dramatic season ever". First off, the whole roses thing seemed so fake and why was it that the other 3 girls met up with Ben at a place ( a restaurant, toy factory , etc) but for JoJo's, he met her at her house. Hmmm.. Maybe because they set up the flowers and note to make the episode less dull. It was obviously producer driven and if you mean to tell me that she doesn't know her ex bfs handwriting and didn't see his name signed at the bottom, then you are cray. And the whole thing with the brothers annoyed me because it was so obviously so they would get more camera time and so they can amp it up so JoJo isn't just another needle in a haystack of potential bachelorettes. They knew very well what they were doing ( desiree's crazy brother made her bachelorette). p.s i didn't see rings on the brothers fingers which can mean potential contestants for the next season

  • Love 5
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I'm guessing the "other love" is Caila, since he didn't tell JoJo's brothers anything close to that when they pressed him. But I don't see that at all in their relationship. I'm a little disappointed that he has a genuine F2 when it seemed so obvious to me that he prefers Lauren over everyone.

Honestly I can't tell who the other one is he tells he's loves since I don't see that much of a connection with either one. At least nothing like what we see with Lauren. He's always seemed to have a easy close connection with JoJo but her family could damper that. With Caila her family was much more normal and welcoming but I just don't see any connection that he would call "love". I don't seem to remember him giving Caila's parents any more reassurances than he gave JoJo's family. I just don't read love with either one of those two but I do see more of a affection for JoJo possibly. I'm hoping he picks JoJo as the second choice though because at this point I think Caila would make the better B'ette and if she's F2 then that would effectively eliminate her chances.

  • Love 1
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Yes--I couldn't help but be taken aback when Amanda's mother made a comment about how Amanda's life is impacted by always putting her kids first, right smack in the middle of what is clearly the least convincing episode of "putting your kids first" that is going on The Bachelor
 

Yeah, that whole "you've always put your kids first"  thing was weird.  Her kids are so little!  ALWAYS?   for the past 3 years, until she decided to go on the show?   Geez, isn't "putting your kids first"  what parents are supposed to do?  Every decision you make, you consider how your kids will be affected. You make sacrifices for your kids on a regular basis. 

  If you want some time for  putting yourself first, get a sitter, and then you go to a party, or on a date, or out with friends - not to a reality show where you compete with childless women for the attention of a guy! 

Her parents thought Ben was "too young"  to be a father.  Well, she's kind of too young to be a mother, if she's already feeling deprived because she ALWAYS puts the kids first. 

  • Love 10
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A past Bachelorette contestant (I can't remember who) tweeted last night that once you're accepted to be a contestant, you have to give production the phone numbers of all ex-significant others. 

Ahh! Seriously? If I was an ex I'd be mad about that. Handing out my number to a tv show? Hell no. Is the justification that they have to make sure you didn't stab your ex-boyfriend with a kitchen knife or something? I mean, I get the producers' actual reason (see, e.g., Chad-related *drama*!) - but I would imagine at least some of the people that have been on this show in all these seasons must have objected to this requirement...

  • Love 1
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 Loved JoJo's mom chugging from the bottle.  That's definitely something a guy looks for in his future mother-in-law.  Is she seriously a medical doctor?  

 

Ha.  Was just coming here to post about my favorite part of last night's episode!  Loved that scene, haha.  Not that I don't swig from a champagne bottle on occasion, too, but the placement within that conversation was just priceless.  I felt bad about her face.  Some seriously messed up lip injections and nose job going on there.  She's an MD?

 

And Amanda's stupid shirt!  she could barely focus on what she was doing, she had to keep tugging and adjusting it and make sure it stayed up.  

 

I had a very bad taste in my mouth after seeing those little girls and their reactions to "mommy's new friend" filmed and put on tv.  They are so young, have already been through the stress of their parents' rocky relationship, divorce, now their mother being away for an extended period, and suddenly seeing her again, having to "behave" while being filmed meeting an albeit fun stranger who will disappear from their lives after that one day, and then the little one is left screaming in her bed at the end of the day while mommy goes and drinks wine.  I felt really bad seeing all that, and it felt exploitative.  From day 1 I could pretty much guarantee that's exactly how it would go down.  Perhaps I'm more sensitive to it, having a family member who's behaved in a similar manner, bringing all different potential parent figures into their children's lives, only to have them disappear shortly after and on to the next potential daddy.  

  • Love 6
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I so want a whole TV show about the exes and their reactions to being contacted by the producers. The more bitter the break-up, the better. Hijinks ensue.

I am not watching Amanda as the Bachelorette. Wish she had been sent home way earlier.

  • Love 12
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Next week - correct use of I, me, he, she, him, her, myself, herself!

Thanks, Ketzel! Would you mind working in a few minutes about the difference between "unconditionally," and "indefinitely," and a little practice on how to say "library?" I guess Caila's expensive private school had a liberry instead.

And Amanda's stupid shirt! she could barely focus on what she was doing, she had to keep tugging and adjusting it and make sure it stayed up.

Plus, she wore it when she knew she would be chasing after, and picking up, kids. It's not just the shirt that's stupid. Edited by JudyObscure
  • Love 12
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Re Ben playing on the beach as mommy's new "friend": I get that they're young enough that they could feasibly not understand that mommy is dating this friend. However, they had Ben read them a Bachelor-made storybook, "Once upon a time, Ben, that's me, met mommy" (gestures to Amanda). Granted, we didn't hear the rest, but I can't imagine it was wholly platonic and was instead the princess fairy tale "and they lived happily ever after." Plus, I wouldn't be shocked if Amanda told them I'm going away to find a new step-daddy for you. What explanation could she possibly give these babies to disappear for weeks/months? But I'm putting all that on Amanda, not Ben. However, as for Amanda questioning why did you bring me all the way back to LA, which is only an hour away from home, I see her perspective that it's not just "an hour away," it's her having to break her children's hearts telling them she's going away for a couple more weeks. Granted, she didn't "have to" leave them again, but I think she built it up in her mind that she found her new daddy for her babies. Oh, that's another thing that bothered me--Ben playing daddy by tucking the kids in!! That crossed the line beyond "mommy's friend." Just let these babies have their mommy put them to bed!

  • Love 7
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Thanks, Ketzel! Would you mind working in a few minutes about the difference between "unconditionally," and "indefinitely," and a little practice on how to say "library?" I guess Caila's expensive private school had a liberry instead.

Plus, she wore it when she knew she would be chasing after, and picking up, kids. It's not just the shirt that's stupid.

I think it was Lauren who mispronounced library wasn't it? When she took Ben to the whiskey "liberry". 

 

Ditto on Amanda's shirt. What a unfortunate choice. Speaks really to her immaturity in my opinion. If she was going for cute she missed the boat. Slightly off the shoulder would have been much better. Better yet a light weight top with a more flattering color.

Edited by yorklee2
  • Love 2
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This is off topic so I won't beat a dead horse and this is worse case scenario of course, but what makes me leery about Amanda and her little girls is that it make me think of Ashley Judd's character in 'Where The Heart Is'. Those two sweet little girls would be easy pickings for some pedo perv because their Mom is so desperate to find love and is not too bright.

  • Love 3
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This episode was easily the most entertaining one of the season so far. I floved Jojo's mom Soraya. The best part wasn't so much her swigging champagne directly from the bottle, but her husband leaning over and pushing a wine glass towards her instead. I figure after having her son in a reality tv show before, momma is over this mess. By the way, she's a PHD and nurse practitioner, not an MD.  Methinks hottie brother Ben would be a fun Bachelor.

 

Caila's mom is stunning and obviously an empath as she can confirm Ben is in love with her daughter after a 5 minute conversation. I really hope all that yummy food was eaten.

 

With Amanda, I really wish the kids hadn't been shown. There was obviously no way Ben was that into her. And if he was such a class act, he would have cut her before hometowns. Toddlers are mostly only comfortable with people they see on a regular basis and that scene with the older one on Ben's lap was uncomfortable. I can just imagine the coaxing and the number of takes to get a purely gratuitous shot of Ben as "family guy" and it left a really bad taste in my mouth.

 

Caila seems too immature to be the Bachelorette. Jojo has more credibility as far as confidence, personal wealth and comfort with reality TV shenanigans. As long as it's not Becca, I'll watch.

Edited by sarkygal
  • Love 4
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Ok.  Field of Floozies?  Really?  Can we stop with the misogynistic terms to describe these girls?

seriously? This is a site to make fun of people on TV. I'm all against misogyny myself but this does not offend me in the least. 

  • Love 11
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Man. If nothing else, it's Lauren by default. Ben is not ready to be a father to two toddlers (which is fine, he's young). Caila and JoJo have families that no one would want to marry into, right? So, Lauren "wins." Although, I think he actually flipped for Lauren ages ago, of course, so it's not just by default.

Amanda's off the shoulder shirt was ridiculous, and annoyed me more than almost anything else in the episode.

Kudos to Caila for a moderately entertaining date at least

  • Love 6
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Thanks, Ketzel! Would you mind working in a few minutes about the difference between "unconditionally," and "indefinitely," [...]

Ha! Depending on who's saying it, in Bachelor World either could be perfectly accurate! All the women claim to love Ben unconditionally, while he is pledging to love one of them indefinitely. :)
  • Love 3
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Ahh! Seriously? If I was an ex I'd be mad about that. Handing out my number to a tv show? Hell no. Is the justification that they have to make sure you didn't stab your ex-boyfriend with a kitchen knife or something? I mean, I get the producers' actual reason (see, e.g., Chad-related *drama*!) - but I would imagine at least some of the people that have been on this show in all these seasons must have objected to this requirement...

It was John Wolfner, who was on Emily's season, who tweeted this fact:

https://twitter.com/jwolfner/status/701955123770060800

Although Kelly, from Juan Pablo's season, was asked if she had to do that on her season, and she said no. John posited maybe it was because he had a recent ex.

I've been really busy at work this afternoon, guys.

  • Love 5
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The biggest loser in this episode was not Amanda. It was pronouns. Yikes. In addition to trying to make "I's" happen as a a possessive pronoun, we had several uses of the profoundly stupid "between him and I". Hypercorrection run amok. Throw in a "I would have came" or two (thanks, Ben!), and voila! You get to watch grammar die over two hours of hometown visits.

I've been wondering this whole season if Amanda has had a nose job, and seeing her family has convinced me that she has. There is no sign of that nose among her family members, who all have larger and wider noses than she does.

Looking at JoJo's mom, I remember Martin Short on plastic surgery: It doesn't make a 55-year old look 35; it makes them look like a 55-year old who has been in a fire.

  • Love 8
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seriously? This is a site to make fun of people on TV. I'm all against misogyny myself but this does not offend me in the least. 

 

Yes seriously.

Well since it doesn't offend YOU, I will surely go and re-evaluate why it offends me.

 

Whatever helps you sleep at night.

  • Love 1
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You guys hit all the high (and low) notes of last night's episode, and have already posted spot-on comments on everything I noticed, from the wacky black slipping-down shirt thing to the mega botox to the booze-swigging-from-the-bottle to the crazed family and brothers who love sis indefinitely. What a great episode! Jojo's hometown ranks as the most-depressing-EVAH! from start to finish. Ben had to be exhausted afterward ... or from the get-go as he had to put up with producer shenanigans with those fakety fake roses and letter and bogus phone call timed just as Ben was coming to the door. Hokey smokes. I mighta said, hey, let's just call it quits now, babe. See ya, don't wanna be ya! Except I think, as do others, that it was all scripted. That family is reality-show wise after all.

 

Crazy brother worked pretty well for Des, though, right? Jojo's family brought all the crazy needed for the next b-ette.

 

I did yell, "WTF!" when Ben gave that last rose to Jojo. I'd rather spend a month with Amanda's kids than one evening with Jojo's family. And I don't even like kids.

Edited by saber5055
  • Love 9
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Just catching up on the bits of the episode I didn't watch last night, it was kind of a boring episode. 

 

The Amanda segment made me sad and uncomfortable, I hate watching people play at being potential parents just to score points with the single mother/father and Ben's interaction with the kids had that feeling all over it. 

 

Plus, she wore it when she knew she would be chasing after, and picking up, kids. It's not just the shirt that's stupid.

 

LOL, that shirt was such a poor choice. Any time you have to constantly adjust/tug/hold up a piece of clothing, any visual appeal is pretty much lost. 

 

I'm guessing the "other love" is Caila, since he didn't tell JoJo's brothers anything close to that when they pressed him. But I don't see that at all in their relationship. I'm a little disappointed that he has a genuine F2 when it seemed so obvious to me that he prefers Lauren over everyone.

 

I don't see any connection between Ben and Caila. Their constant kissing is weird and friend-like and Caila seems to be overacting in her attempt to make it seem like she's really interested. Her family was lovely, though. 

 

I could see JoJo being the other "one" but it still seems like Lauren is the only one he's truly into. Of all seasons to have an "I'm in love with 2 women" ending, this one seems odd.

 

Thanks for the info about Caila's family. I had no idea a CEO would need to move so much. 14 times is pretty brutal once a child's in school (12 years, right? So averaging more than once a grade). I guess there's no mystery then, but I would think even if you had a "Filipino community" connection, it wouldn't mean much to a child if it's always new people.

 

In order to get to that level, yeah, moving a lot can be part of the deal and it can have a pretty big impact on the kids. It makes a lot of sense that Caila would have that bubbly exterior without much underneath it, she might be used to shallow relationships thanks to never being in one place long enough to really build anything.

 

Haven't gotten to the JoJo visit yet, but I was fairly impressed with the other families, particularly the dads and their "put the brakes on" advice. 

 

Lauren's family cracked me up with their rosy-cheeked smiley uniformity. Anybody else watch David the Gnome back in the 80's? That's all I could see when I looked at Lauren's dad. 

 

 

 

 

  • Love 1
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I'm guessing the "other love" is Caila

 

My vote is for JoJo. I feel like Caila's hometown visit was very much edited to imply that she will get her heart broken. 

 

Also, what is with these moms (specifically Caila's and JoJo's) who seem like just slightly older girlfriends of their daughters, rather than their moms? I mean, I get it. I'm friends with my mom, too. But I just don't think that "Don't worry, you're beautiful!" or "You love him? Wow! Go jump on him and tell him!" are great pieces of advice when your kid is dating a guy on TV with 3 other girlfriends. No wonder these poor girls have such unrealistic, fairy tale views of love and romance. 

 

Ok.  Field of Floozies?  Really?  Can we stop with the misogynistic terms to describe these girls?

 

If it helps, this stuff bothers me too, Caught on Tape. I don't voice it very often because I know I'll be met with "This is what this show is made for! If you don't like it don't participate in the forums!" I guess I have this naive hope that we can all enjoy this silly, totally phony show without replicating the easy sexism that is its trademark. Dumb, I know. 

  • Love 9
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I don't think of floozies as just female (although I intellectually know that the term is for women, when I hear it I don't think exclusively of women), but I am surprised that it is being used for these four women. 

 

Caila's father is perfect as the CEO of a toy company as imo he could be an elf or a pixie or a leprechaun. Tangerine pants! Yay!

  • Love 6
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As the author of the post and the person who labeled these women "floozies," I'm standing by it. I didn't intend it to be a gendered insult. Ben is even more of a floozy. If you read my Bachelorette coverage from past seasons, I call the men similar things. Mostly, I think the word floozy is funny and silly. If you can't take the piece and its lingo on its level, this might not be the right place for you to be getting your Bachelor coverage. Maybe check out Ben's People blog?

  • Love 10
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My vote is for JoJo. I feel like Caila's hometown visit was very much edited to imply that she will get her heart broken. 

 

Also, what is with these moms (specifically Caila's and JoJo's) who seem like just slightly older girlfriends of their daughters, rather than their moms? I mean, I get it. I'm friends with my mom, too. But I just don't think that "Don't worry, you're beautiful!" or "You love him? Wow! Go jump on him and tell him!" are great pieces of advice when your kid is dating a guy on TV with 3 other girlfriends. No wonder these poor girls have such unrealistic, fairy tale views of love and romance. 

 

If it helps, this stuff bothers me too, Caught on Tape. I don't voice it very often because I know I'll be met with "This is what this show is made for! If you don't like it don't participate in the forums!" I guess I have this naive hope that we can all enjoy this silly, totally phony show without replicating the easy sexism that is its trademark. Dumb, I know. 

I'm sorry that you find my coverage of this (ludicrous, inherently sexist) show to be sexist. I try to deal with the show on its own terms. These women are putting themselves into a ridiculous situation and therefore are subject to ridicule. You should check out my coverage of past seasons of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette and I think you'll find I am just as hard as the men as I am on the women, if not harder. Not that I feel that I have to defend my own opinion of this show, but it bothers me that my lighthearted joking about people who are acting like idiots on television is met with people (seemingly earnestly) taking offense. Again, I think if my tone offends you, you should probably skip my pieces and get your Bachelor(ette) coverage elsewhere, but know that I do not intend any offense.

  • Love 7
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Yes seriously.

Well since it doesn't offend YOU, I will surely go and re-evaluate why it offends me.

 

Whatever helps you sleep at night.

The whole premise of the show is misogynistic! Why are you watching if you are so offended? You shouldn't be watching the show and especially should not be reading this site. The girls who sign up for the show are setting themselves up to be called floozies and much worse. Stop watching and go protest ABC for airing  this misogynistic show that has one man select one woman from 25 that sign up. If you sign up for this you can be called anything in the media and by fans. If it offends you so much, don't watch the show and don't read the humorous recaps. 

  • Love 6
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Was it just me, or did all the dining rooms look about the same?  Ditto the bedrooms where the moms and daughters went to talk.  I noticed in close-ups of Caila's mom, those purple drapes behind her were really wrinkled -- and not like it was part of the material, either.    Then, for JoJo -- it looked like the same dining room, only with red drapes.   And, I think Amanda was delusional regarding her expectations of Ben being a father.  After meeting the two girls and having two short play sessions with them, along with two crying sessions from the younger one -- don't think so Amanda.  Of course, Ben being Ben, could not just come right out and say "no way am I ready for this".   But I think the expressions on his face were clear that the pretty mom with the two darling little girls was not the fairy tale he might have thought it would be.  Amanda watches the Hallmark Movies where the single mom gets the guy who wonderfully falls in love with her children, too.  Ben doesn't.

  • Love 1
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Y'all need to stop. It is not your duty to tell other posters to leave this site if they don't agree with what you say or how you say it. Nor is it okay to tell others how or what to post.

If you have a problem with a post, report it; do not engage.

  • Love 9
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Quieter brother freaked me the fuck out. Outspoken brother just seemed like a douchebag.

 

He was so scary just death glaring him in the kitchen. My brother would be like "Hey Ben. So are we having dessert?"

I liked when Ben walked in the kitchen and said "It's really loud in here"--because I liked that so much I missed the Mom Champagne Swig but I caught it online so I'm good.

 

I thought that Caila's dad was adorable. I went online to gush last night and found people were comparing him to Daniel Tosh of the Future, the Even Stevens dad, that moron lawyer from Making a Murderer....LOL. I just love when a man is able to articulate his love for his wife. I thought that was incredibly touching even if he was wearing creamsicle pants.

 

I don't think Ben likes Caila more than Amanda, I think it was more of a mercy thing after meeting her children. She kinda snapped on him Clare Crawley-style after he cut her but he was able to guide her off the ledge--he's quite the charmer.

 

Jojo was a smokeshow at the rose ceremony. Wow. Total Wow. Her bros would not approve of that cleavage!!!!

  • Love 4
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As always, the hometown visits were a treasure trove of cringe inducing moments and last night's visits didn't disappoint. Here are a few random comments:

Amanda - the top she wore was terrible and she kept tugging at it to stay up. She looked awkward and uncomfortable the whole time they were at the beach. Her daughters should not have been subjected to that. Leave the kids out of this hot mess. Were they both wearing tiny, mini, knee-high gladiator sandals? Oh yeah, every kid needs those to run around and play on the beach! hahaha Very weird.

Lauren - I dozed off during Ben's visit with the Stepford family. Boring and snoozeworthy.

Caila - The food looked good. Did Caila's Mom have braces? Caila's not into Ben no matter what she tells her Mom.

JoJo - This is when everything kicked in. As someone mentioned earlier, the note from the ex looked like it was written by a 7th grade girl. I think the i's were dotted with hearts. That was producer driven drama. The Mom drinking straight from the bottle was perfection. Hey, Mom, go for it! I don't think the house was really their home. I think they rented it for the show. The brother that has appeared on other reality shows wants his second 15 minutes of fame. If his sister is the next Bachelorette he'll be thrilled!

Prediction: I think Ben's going to propose to Lauren and JoJo will be the next Bachelorette. So transparent and so predictable. No suspense for the finale at all. At least, if the previews are any indication, we're in for some serious man tears from Ben and that's always entertaining.

Edited by Matty
  • Love 3
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I think it was Lauren who mispronounced library wasn't it? When she took Ben to the whiskey "liberry".

Oh thanks, Yorklee! I feel better knowing Caila's nice dad didn't waste all that education money.

Edited by JudyObscure
  • Love 3
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